Highlights of a Ten-Week Family Skill-Building Workshop 2014 NAMI Convention Workshop September 5,...

Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster

Highlights of a Ten-Week Family Skill-Building Workshop

2014 NAMI Convention WorkshopSeptember 5, 2014

Presented by Edith Mannion, Talya Lewis & Denise Hay Moderated by Carol Caruso

Fight, Flight, Freeze

When your loved one is dysregulated...

Fight, flight, freezeWe have to learn to regulate our

own emotions so we can think & remember communication skills

©Copyrighted by Training & Education Center

Mental Health Association of SE PA

The Borderline Experience

Born with exquisite sensitivityNerve endings have no “caps” Endlessly exposed and raw Little stressors can cause big

reactionsOnce a reaction takes place it

takes longer to return to their baseline

Fear of rejection



Emotion Regulation

Managing painful emotions in healthy, non-destructive ways

(self-soothing, self-talk)Staying focused on being effective,

even when distressedNot just reacting to emotions and

urges

©Copyrighted by Training & Education Center Mental

Health Association of SE PA

Emotion Regulation Skills

Pause and breatheNotice & release tensionNotice what you are feelingNotice what you are thinkingReplace distressing thoughts

with soothing thoughtsTake a break if necessaryRespond once regulated



Emotional Regulation vs. Emotional Dysregulation

Individual hasan emotiveexperience

Caregiver validatesfeelings

Individual feels understood and

can process internalexperience

Individual feels misunderstood and

can’t process internal experience

Emotional Regulation

EmotionalDysregulation

Caregiverinvalidates

feelings



Emotional Validation

Viewing the situation from the other’s perspective

Not condoning the behaviorAllowing their feelingsUnderstanding their feelingsNormalizing their feelingsWebsite for examples of

emotional validation: www.eqi.org/valid.htm



What is the Emotional Roller Coaster ?

Loving someone who has

*Emotional Dysregulation

*Major Depressive Episodes

*Hypomanic, Manic or Mixed Episodes

As family members we often go along for the ride

*Primary emotions we are wired to feel for survival

*The cascade of emotions about our emotions

*Fight, flight or freeze reactions

©Copyrighted by Training & Education Center Mental Health Association of SE PA

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©Copyrighted by Training & Education Center Mental

Health Association of SE PA 9

Ten-Week Family Skill-Building Workshop Model

Developed in 2009 for families of people with borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder

Co-facilitated by a therapist with a loved one who has one of these disorders and a person in recovery from one of these disorders (peer specialist)

A graduate of the workshop mentors the workshop participants (family peer specialist)

Teaching methods include slides, discussion, role plays, recovery stories, homework

Graduate Group©Copyrighted by Training & Education Center

Mental Health Association of SE PA 10

PLATFORM FOUNDATION:Self-Care

“Put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting other passengers”

Good self-care reduces our vulnerability to negative emotions and improves wellness

Caregiver burnout and “compassion fatigue” are serious risks of poor self-care

©Copyrighted by Training & Education Center Mental Health Association

of SE PA 11

PLATFORM FOUNDATION:Adjusting Expectations

We experience multiple and ambiguous losses when we love someone with mental health disorders

Grieving is complicatedWorking through grief is not easy, but

critical to adjusting our expectationsAdjusting expectations helps us be

more effective and find peace

©Copyrighted by Training & Education Center Mental Health

Association of SE PA 12

PILLAR 1:Regulating Our Emotions

Tolerating or reducing our

emotions enough that we can

focus on being effectiveNot just reacting without thinkingIf we cannot regulate, we cannot

think straight nor access our

skills



PILLAR 2:Validating Emotions

Our loved ones can begin to regulate when they feel understood

Emotional validation means acknowledging our loved one’s emotions based on their perspective

Even when disagreeing or setting limits...

“A response that starts with validation

helps prevent more aggravation.”



Validate me!

PILLAR 3: Limit Setting

BENEFITS TO YOUProtecting your physical

health, mental health and safety

Protecting others Protecting propertyPreventing unintended legal consequencesPreventing burn-out

TO YOUR LOVED ONEMore consistency and

compassion from youHelping them learn to

tolerate others’ limits Modeling this skill Safety in structure &

predictability


of SE PA 15

PILLAR 4:Crisis Management

Crises common in these disorders

*Self-injury

*Suicidal thinking and attempts

*Violence or threats of violence Some limit setting skills can make crises

worseFamily members need to learn skills for

responding to self-injury, suicidal thinking and potential violence!



Professional/Peer Co-Facilitation Model

Having a therapist/family member as a co-facilitator offers participants skills of a clinician with empathy of a peer

Having a person in recovery offers participants a window into their loved one’s experience & hope

A family member/graduate of the workshop offers hope for using and benefitting from the skills taught



For Information about Bringing this Workshop Model to Your County

Contact: Edith Mannion, LMFT

Mental Health Association of Southeastern PA

Training & Education Center (TEC)

1211 Chestnut Street (11th Floor)

Philadelphia, PA 19107

267-507-3863

[email protected]


of SE PA 18

mailto:[email protected]

Highlights of a Ten-Week Family Skill-Building Workshop 2014 NAMI Convention Workshop September 5,...

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