Helping Children and Families Deal with Grief and Loss
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Helping Children and Families Deal with Grief and Loss Bob Brinker Parent and Community Education Specialist
description
Helping Children and Families Deal with Grief and Loss. Bob Brinker Parent and Community Education Specialist. Expectations and Questions. Group Rules. Share your wisdom Ask questions Take care of yourself Cheat Have fun Agree to disagree Honor people’s stories - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
Transcript of Helping Children and Families Deal with Grief and Loss
Helping Children and Families Deal with Grief and Loss
Bob BrinkerParent and Community Education Specialist
Expectations and Questions
Group RulesShare your wisdomAsk questionsTake care of yourselfCheatHave funAgree to disagreeHonor people’s storiesWhat we talk about stays here
Rules for Grief ProgramEach loss is uniqueWe don’t compare losses and painWe do not need fixedWe listen to one and another’s
stories with dignity and respect
Three Commitments1. Total Honesty (telling your
emotional truth)2. Absolute Confidentiality3. Uniqueness and Individuality
•Hearts have been broken•Experienced great pain•Many losses have been overlooked•Each loss is unique: “I don’t know how you feel.”
Hearing Our Stories
Grief“conflicting feelings caused by a
change or an end to a familiar pattern if behavior”
Losses Loss of petDeath of a
grandparentMovingLoss of economic
securityFinishing/beginning
school
Health issuesDivorce/separationLoss of self-esteemRemoval from homeAbuse/neglect issuesIncarceration
Intangible Losses1.Loss of safety2.Loss of control3.Loss of self-esteem
Recovering from grief is a series of small and correct
action steps
Caregiver Function for Grieving Children
1. Provide honest and open relationships with children
2. Provide a safe and secure place where children can mourn
3. Be role models of healthy mourning
Stupid ThingsWe say toGrievers
Loss Euphemisms Regarding DeathWent to sleepGone awayMeet his makerPushing up daisiesExpiredBought the farm
Dead as a door nailAnswered the callingJesus needed himEternal restWent to be with
those who went before them
6 Myths of Grieving1. Don’t feel bad2. Replace the loss3. Grieve alone4. Be strong5. Keep busy6. Time heals all wounds
These six myths take us away from the emotional, spiritual, and intellectual process of grieving.
Incomplete grief is undelivered emotional communications which might include•Apologies•Forgiveness•Undelivered emotional communication
ShortTermEnergyRelievingBehaviors‘S
STERB’sFoodDrugsSexAnger Acting out
FantasyIsolationExerciseWorkaholism
Shopping
The Problems with STERB’s1. They appear to work2. They are short-term3. They do not remove the cork
jamming the tea kettle
“Completion is the action of discovering and communicating
directly or indirectly, the undelivered emotions which
attach to any relationship that changes.”
When children and adults complete the process of grieving they
Deal with both the negative and positive aspects of the relationship
Hold on to sadness but end the painRemember the loved one the way he or she
knew them in lifeExpress what needs to be said so it is no
longer trapped insideSay goodbye to the physical relationship
while holding on to the emotional and spiritual relationship
“Grief Recovery is rediscovering what it is
that is your nature to be so that you need not be in
conflict with it anymore.”
