Healing After a Resident Loss

Emotional Bonds Are Strong

• Watching someone you care for deteriorate can be devastating. If a resident does not experience a "good death" we may even feel responsible.

• Nurses often feel ill-prepared to handle death. New nurses may never have experienced death before. When a resident dies in an aged care home, nurses often find it difficult to know what to say to family, colleagues and even other residents.

• After caring for someone over a long period of time it's only natural that the nursing staff develop close emotional bonds to both residents in their care and their family members.

Coping Techniques• Sometimes it can be easier to busy ourselves

with practical tasks rather than confront our own feelings of loss and sadness. 

• Even though you may feel out of depth talking to family members or other residents about death, in most cases it's usually better to say something.

Discussion Is Vital• "I'm sorry for your loss, she will be greatly

missed" can be enough. It can also help you move forward and confront your own thoughts about death.

• It is essential that aged care workers have the opportunity to talk about their feelings and acknowledge the death of a resident.

• Some nurses may even feel bad because they don't feel anything!

What Can You Do?• Set up a support group at work• Take time out to share special moments about a

resident (pin up photos or special anecdotes about a resident in a public space)

• Ensure a resident's death is mentioned in a newsletter  

• Hold a memorial service for other residents and family members

• Make sure all volunteers and friends are informed

What Can You Do? (Cont.)

• Talk to a counselor or someone you trust.

• Set up a grief box for other residents and staff to drop cards and notes of sympathy to family 

• Discuss your feelings after work by taking a quick walk with staff members

Grief Affects People Differently

• Everyone will experience grief in their own way. Grief can make us feel sad, angry or confused.

• Nurses spend a lot of time caring for the needs of others and often dismiss their own feelings of grief. Over time feelings of grief may contribute to stress and problems at work or home.

• Some nurses may hide their feelings fearing they're acting unprofessional.

• Talking to someone you trust about how you are feeling early on can be helpful. If feelings of grief seem overwhelming talk to your doctor.

References

• Palliative Care Australia, Guidelines for a palliative care approach in residential aged care

• Work Cover NSW, Managing loss and grief in the aged care industry