Happy birthday


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Transcript of Happy birthday

Page 1: Happy birthday



Page 2: Happy birthday

“Today I was sitting in my school's cafeteria and two girls near me were having a conversation. One got up and the other continued talking to the empty chair as if nothing had changed. MLIA.”

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“Today, I was working on my English paper. I became kind of frustrated with it, so to get motivated, I told myself that for every paragraph I type, I can read a page of MLIA. My 5 page essay is almost done, and I am one very happy girl. MLIA.”

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“A few days ago, I was walking through the pet store and, as I went past the chinchillas, one put its paw up to the glass like it was waving. I walked over and high- fived the glass with my finger. MLIA.”

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“Today in Bio class, I didn't know the answer to one of the questions on a worksheet. Instead of leaving it blank, I drew a ninja and proceeded to write a caption saying "This ninja has stolen my answer. I apologize for not having the skill to get it back." A few minutes later I heard my teacher laughing as she was going through the worksheets we just handed in. MLIA”

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“Today, I discovered that if I wanted to close my bedroom door, all I had to do was point a laser pointer at my door, until my cat pushed against the door, closing it. New way to close my door. I think so! MLIA”

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“Today my six year old brother informed me that Justin Bieber is the male version of Hannah Montana, and he thinks they might even be the same person and it is his job as an official spy to take them down. Good luck little man, I love you. MLIA”

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“Today, I was looking at a milk carton. The number to call the company was 1-800-HUG-A-COW. MLIA”

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“Today I was flying from Florence to Frankfurt. Going through the safety measures, the flight attendant said, "If you wish to stay in Florence, there are four main exit doors on the ends of the plane, and four more over the wings. In the unlikely event of swimming in Germany, there is a life jacket under your seat with a light to attract shark's attention. If we have a sudden loss of cabin pressure, please sit down, start screaming, and put the oxygen mask on. If you are traveling with small children, put your own mask on, and let the little buggers fend for themselves. Please review the safety information card and read your Bibles thoroughly before takeoff." All flight attendants should be this funny. MLIA”

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“Today I watched a squirrel try to hide a huge nut in someones hub cap. MLIA”

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“My cousin decided to recently name her baby bunny Charlie, because it bit her. MLIA”

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“Today, around 2am I discovered my friend has a laundry chute in her house. But I didn't learn about it by her telling me. MLIA.”

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“Today, I found out that when I was a baby, my mom was so freaked out about being a new mom that she turned the baby monitor's volume up so loudly that they could even hear me breath... and apparently, that was when my father started having nightmares about Darth Vader. MLIA”

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“Today, I had a sub in my spanish class. Her name? Mrs. Panties. I don't know what was worse: that she married into that name or that she wanted to be a high school sub. MLIA”

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“Today, i left a ransom note on my teachers desk. i stole her powerpoint clicker and demanded 3000 green skittles in the back desk drawer. When she finally figured out it was me, i demanded my skittles and she said to check the drawer. in it was a bag with 3 jelly beans with a note saying: dear muffin warrior, as the current going exchange rate from skittles to starbust jelly beans is 1000:1, here is your payment in full ~ she who controls your grades. New favorite teacher? I think so. MLIA”

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more to come…later

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