Guyon Autobiography

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Autobiography

of Madame Guyon

PART ONE

CHAPTER 1

There were omissions of importance in the former narration of my life. I willingly comply withyour esire! in gi"ing you a more circumstantial relation# though the la$or seems rather painful!as I cannot use much stuy or reflection. %y earnest wish is to paint in true colors the gooness

of &o to me! an the epth of my own ingratitue'($ut it is impossi$le! as num$erless littlecircumstances ha"e escape my memory. )ou are also unwilling I shoul gi"e you a minuteaccount of my sins. I shall! howe"er! try to lea"e out as few faults as possi$le. I epen on youto estroy it! when your soul hath rawn those spiritual a"antages which &o intene! an forwhich purpose I am willing to sacrifice all things. I am fully persuae of His esigns towaryou! as well for the sanctification of others! as for your own sanctification.

*et me assure you! this is not attaine! sa"e through pain! weariness an la$or# an it will $ereache $y a path that will wonerfully isappoint your e+pectations. Ne"ertheless! if you arefully con"ince that it is on the nothing in man that &o esta$lishes his greatest wor,s!'(youwill $e in part guare against isappointment or surprise. He estroys that he might $uil# forwhen He is a$out to rear His sacre temple in us! He first totally ra-es that "ain an pompous

eifice! which human art an power ha erecte! an from its horri$le ruins a new structure isforme! $y His power only.

Oh! that you coul comprehen the epth of this mystery! an learn the secrets of the conuct of&o! re"eale to $a$es! $ut hi from the wise an great of this worl! who thin, themsel"es the*ors counselors! an capa$le of in"estigating His proceures! an suppose they ha"e attainethat i"ine wisom hien from the eyes of all who li"e in self! an are en"elope in their ownwor,s. /ho $y a li"ely genius an ele"ate faculties mount up to Hea"en! an thin, tocomprehen the height an epth an length an $reath of &o.

This i"ine wisom is un,nown! e"en to those who pass in the worl for persons ofe+traorinary illumination an ,nowlege. To whom then is she ,nown! an who can tell us anytiings concerning her0 estruction an eath assure us! that they ha"e hear with their ears ofher fame an renown. It is! then! in ying to all things! an in $eing truly lost to them! passingforwar into &o! an e+isting only in Him! that we attain to some ,nowlege of the truewisom. Oh! how little are her ways ,nown! an her ealings with her most chosen ser"ants.2carce o we isco"er anything thereof! $ut surprise at the issimilitue $etwi+t the truth wethus isco"er an our former ieas of it! we cry out with 2t. Paul! 3Oh! the epth of the,nowlege an wisom of &o4 how unsearcha$le are his 5ugments! an his ways past finingout.6 The *or 5ugeth not of things as men o! who call goo e"il an e"il goo! an accountthat as righteousness which is a$omina$le in His sight! an which accoring to the prophet Heregars as filthy rags. He will enter into strict 5ugment with these self7righteous! an they shall!li,e the Pharisees! $e rather su$5ects of His wrath! than o$5ects of His lo"e! or inheritors of His

rewars. oth not Christ Himself assure us! that 3e+cept our righteousness e+cee that of the

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scri$es an pharisees we shall in no case enter into the ,ingom of hea"en.6 An which of use"en approaches them in righteousness# or! if we li"e in the practice of "irtues! though muchinferior to theirs! are we not tenfol more ostentatious0 /ho is not please to $ehol himselfrighteous in his own eyes! an in the eyes of others0 or! who is it ou$ts that such righteousnessis sufficient to please &o0 )et! we see the inignation of our *or manifeste against such. Hewho was the perfect pattern of tenerness an mee,ness! such as flowe from the epth of theheart! an not that affecte mee,ness! which uner the form of a o"e! hies the haw,s heart.He appears se"ere only to these self7righteous people! an He pu$licly ishonore them. Inwhat strange colors oes He represent them! while He $ehols the poor sinner with mercy!compassion an lo"e! an eclares that for them only He was come! that it was the sic, whoneee the physician# an that He came only to sa"e the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

O thou 2ource of *o"e4 Thou ost inee seem so 5ealous of the sal"ation Thou hast purchase!that Thou ost prefer the sinner to the righteous4 The poor sinner $ehols himself "ile anwretche! is in a manner constraine to etest himself# an fining his state so horri$le! castshimself in his esperation into the arms of his 2a"iour! an plunges into the healing fountain!

an comes forth 3white as wool.6 Then confoune at the re"iew of his isorere state! ano"erflowing with lo"e for Him! who ha"ing alone the power! ha also the compassion to sa"ehim'(the e+cess of his lo"e is proportione to the enormity of his crimes! an the fullness of hisgratitue to the e+tent of the e$t remitte. The self7righteous! relying on the many goo wor,she imagines he has performe! seems to hol sal"ation in his own han! an consiers Hea"enas a 5ust rewar of his merits. In the $itterness of his -eal he e+claims against all sinners! anrepresents the gates of mercy as $arre against them! an Hea"en as a place to which they ha"eno claim. /hat nee ha"e such self7righteous persons of a 2a"iour0 they are alreay $urenewith the loa of their own merits. Oh! how long they $ear the flattering loa! while sinnersi"este of e"erything! fly rapily on the wings of faith an lo"e into their 2a"iours arms! whofreely $estows on them that which he has so freely promise4

How full of self7lo"e are the self7righteous! an how "oi of the lo"e of &o4 They esteem anamire themsel"es in their wor,s of righteousness! which they suppose to $e a fountain ofhappiness. These wor,s are no sooner e+pose to the 2un of Righteousness! than they isco"erall to $e so full of impurity an $aseness! that it frets them to the heart. %eanwhile the poorsinner! %agalene! is parone $ecause she lo"es much! an her faith an lo"e are accepte asrighteousness. The inspire Paul! who so well unerstoo these great truths an so fullyin"estigate them! assures us that 3the faith of A$raham was impute to him for righteousness.6This is truly $eautiful for it is certain that all of that holy patriarchs actions were strictlyrighteous# yet! not seeing them as such! an $eing e"oi of the lo"e of them! an i"este ofselfishness! his faith was foune on the coming Christ. He hope in Him e"en against hopeitself! an this was impute to him for righteousness! =Rom. 1?! ::!@ a pure! simple angenuine righteousness! wrought $y Christ! an not a righteousness wrought $y himself! anregare as of himself.

)ou may imagine this a igression wie of the su$5ect! $ut it leas insensi$ly to it. It shows that&o accomplishes His wor, either in con"erte sinners! whose past iniuities ser"e as acounterpoise to their ele"ation! or in persons whose self7righteousness He estroys! $y totallyo"erthrowing the prou $uiling they ha reare on a sany founation! instea of the Roc,'(Christ.

The esta$lishment of all these ens! which He propose in coming into the worl! is effecte $ythe apparent o"erthrow of that "ery structure which in reality He woul erect. By means whichseem to estroy His Church! He esta$lishes it. How strangely oes He foun the new

ispensation an gi"e it His sanction4 The legislator Himself is conemne $y the learne an

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great! as a malefactor! an ies an ignominious eath. Oh! that we fully unerstoo how "eryopposite our self7righteousness is to the esigns of &o'(it woul $e a su$5ect for enlesshumiliation! an we shoul ha"e an utter istrust in that which at present constitutes the wholeof our epenence.

rom a 5ust lo"e of His supreme power! an a righteous 5ealousy of man,in! who attri$ute toeach other the gifts He Himself $estows upon them! it please Him to ta,e one of the mostunworthy of the creation! to ma,e ,nown the fact that His graces are the effects of His will! notthe fruits of our merits. It is the property of His wisom to estroy what is prouly $uilt! an to

$uil what is estroye# to ma,e use of wea, things to confoun the mighty an to employ inHis ser"ice such as appear "ile an contempti$le.

This He oes in a manner so astonishing! as to rener them the o$5ects of the scorn ancontempt of the worl. It is not to raw pu$lic appro$ation upon them! that He ma,es theminstrumental in the sal"ation of others# $ut to rener them the o$5ects of their isli,e an thesu$5ects of their insults# as you will see in this life you ha"e en5oine upon me to write.

CHAPTER :

I was $orn on April 1?! 1D


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succeeing night I reame of Hell! an though I was so young! time has ne"er $een a$le toefface the frightful ieas impresse upon my imagination. All appeare horri$le ar,ness! wheresouls were punishe! an my place among them was pointe out. At this I wept $itterly! ancrie! 3Oh! my &o! if Thou wilt ha"e mercy upon me! an spare me yet a little longer! I willne"er more offen Thee.6 An thou ist! O *or! in mercy hear,en unto my cry! an pour uponme strength an courage to ser"e thee! in an uncommon manner for one of my age. I wante togo pri"ately to confession! $ut $eing little! the mistress of the $oarers carrie me to the priest!an staye with me while I was hear. 2he was much astonishe when I mentione that I hasuggestions against the faith! an the confessor $egan to laugh! an inuire what they were. Itol him that till then I ha ou$te there was such a place as Hell! an suppose my mistressha spo,en of it merely to ma,e me goo! $ut now my ou$ts were all remo"e. Afterconfession my heart glowe with a ,in of fer"or! an at one time I felt a esire to suffermartyrom. The goo girls of the house! to amuse themsel"es! an to see how far this growingfer"or woul carry me! esire me to prepare for martyrom. I foun great fer"ency an elightin prayer! an was persuae that this aror! which was as new as it was pleasing! was a proof of&os lo"e. This inspire me with such courage an resolution! that I earnestly $esought them to

procee! that I might there$y enter into His sacre presence. But was there not latent hypocrisyhere0 i I not imagine that it was possi$le they woul not ,ill me! an that I woul ha"e themerit of martyrom without suffering it0 Inee! it appeare there was something of this naturein it. Being place ,neeling on a cloth sprea for the purpose! an seeing $ehin me a largeswor lifte up which they ha prepare to try how far my aror woul carry me I crie! 3Hol4it is not right I shoul ie without first o$taining my fathers permission.6 I was uic,lyup$raie with ha"ing sai this that I might escape! an that I was no longer a martyr. Icontinue long isconsolate! an woul recei"e no comfort# something inwarly repro"e me!for not ha"ing em$race that opportunity of going to Hea"en! when it reste altogether on myown choice.

At my solicitation! an on account of my falling so freuently sic,! I was at length ta,en home.

On my return! my mother ha"ing a mai in whom she place confience! left me again to thecare of ser"ants. It is a great fault! of which mothers are guilty! when uner prete+t of e+ternale"otions! or other engagements! they suffer their aughters to $e a$sent from them. I for$earnot conemning that un5ust partiality with which parents treat some of their chilren. It isfreuently proucti"e of i"isions in families! an e"en the ruin of some. Impartiality! $yuniting chilrens hearts together! lays the founation of lasting harmony an unanimity.

I woul I were a$le to con"ince parents! an all who ha"e the care of youth! of the greatattention they reuire! an how angerous it is to let them $e for any length of time from unertheir eye! or to suffer them to $e without some ,in of employment. This negligence is the ruinof multitues of girls.

How greatly it is to $e lamente! that mothers who are incline to piety! shoul per"ert e"en themeans of sal"ation to their estruction'(commit the greatest irregularities while apparently

pursuing that which shoul prouce the most regular an circumspect conuct.

Thus! $ecause they e+perience certain gains in prayer! they woul $e all ay long at church#meanwhile their chilren are running to estruction. /e glorify &o most when we pre"entwhat may offen Him. /hat must $e the nature of that sacrifice which is the occasion of sin4&o shoul $e ser"e in His own way. *et the e"otion of mothers $e regulate so as to pre"enttheir aughters from straying. Treat them as sisters! not as sla"es. Appear please with theirlittle amusements. The chilren will elight then in the presence of their mothers! instea ofa"oiing it. If they fin so much happiness with them! they will not ream of see,ing it

elsewhere. %others freuently eny their chilren any li$erties. *i,e $irs constantly confine

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to a cage! they no sooner fin means of escape than off they go! ne"er to return. In orer torener them tame an ocile when young! they shoul $e permitte sometimes to ta,e wing! $utas their flight is wea,! an closely watche! it is easy to reta,e them when they escape. *ittleflight gi"es them the ha$it of naturally returning to their cage which $ecomes an agreea$leconfinement. I $elie"e young girls shoul $e treate in a manner something similar to this.%others shoul inulge them in an innocent li$erty! $ut shoul ne"er lose sight of them.

To guar the tener mins of chilren from what is wrong! much care shoul $e ta,en to employthem in agreea$le an useful matters. They shoul not $e loae with foo they cannot relish.%il, suite to $a$ies shoul $e aministere to them not strong meat which may so isgustthem! that when they arri"e at an age when it woul $e proper nourishment! they will not somuch as taste it. E"ery ay they shoul $e o$lige to rea a little in some goo $oo,! spensome time in prayer! which must $e suite rather to stir the affections! than for meitation. Oh!were this metho of eucation pursue! how speeily woul many irregularities cease4 Theseaughters $ecoming mothers! woul eucate their chilren as they themsel"es ha $eeneucate.

Parents shoul also a"oi showing the smallest partiality in the treatment of their chilren. It$egets a secret 5ealousy an hatre among them! which freuently augments with time! an e"encontinues until eath. How often o we see some chilren the iols of the house! $eha"ing li,ea$solute tyrants! treating their $rothers an sisters as so many sla"es accoring to the e+ampleof father an mother. An it happens many times! that the fa"orite pro"es a scourge to the

parents while the poor espise an hate one $ecomes their consolation an support.

%y mother was "ery efecti"e in the eucation of her chilren. 2he suffere me whole aysfrom her presence in company with the ser"ants! whose con"ersation an e+ample were

particularly hurtful to one of my isposition. %y mothers heart seeme wholly centere in my$rother. I was scarcely e"er fa"ore with the smallest instance of her tenerness or affection. I

therefore "oluntarily a$sente myself from her. It is true! my $rother was more amia$le than I$ut the e+cess of her fonness for him! mae her $lin e"en to my outwar goo ualities. Itser"e only to isco"er my faults! which woul ha"e $een trifling ha proper care $een ta,en ofme.

CHAPTER ;

%y father who lo"e me tenerly an seeing how little my eucation was attene to sent me toa con"ent of the rsulines. I was near se"en years ol. In this house were two half sisters of

mine! the one $y my father! the other $y my mother. %y father place me uner his aughterscare! a person of the great capacity an most e+alte piety! e+cellently ualifie for theinstruction of youth. This was a singular ispensation of &os pro"ience an lo"e towar me!an pro"e the first means of my sal"ation. 2he lo"e me tenerly! an her affection mae herisco"er in me many amia$le ualities! which the *or ha implante in me. 2he enea"ore toimpro"e these goo ualities! an I $elie"e that ha I continue in such careful hans! I shoulha"e acuire as many "irtuous ha$its as I afterwar contracte e"il ones.

This goo sister employe her time in instructing me in piety an in such $ranches of learningas were suita$le to my age an capacity. 2he ha goo talents an impro"e them well. 2he wasfreuent in prayer an her faith was as great as that of most persons. 2he enie herself e"eryother pleasure to $e with me an to instruct me. 2uch was her affection for me that it mae her

fin more pleasure with me than anywhere else.

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If I mae her agreea$le answers! though more from chance than from 5ugment! she thoughtherself well pai for all her la$or. ner her care I soon $ecame mistress of most stuiessuita$le for me. %any grown persons of ran, coul not ha"e answere the uestions.

As my father often sent for me! esiring to see me at home! I foun at one time the Fueen ofEnglan there. I was near eight years of age. %y father tol the Fueens confessor that if hewante a little amusement he might entertain himself with me. He trie me with se"eral "eryifficult uestions! to which I returne such pertinent answers that he carrie me to the Fueen!an sai! 3)our ma5esty must ha"e some i"ersion with this chil.6 2he also trie me an wasso well please with my li"ely answers! an my manners! that she emane me of my fatherwith no small importunity. 2he assure him that she woul ta,e particular care of me! esigningme for mai of honor to the princess. %y father resiste. ou$tless it was &o who cause thisrefusal! an there$y turne off the stro,e which might ha"e pro$a$ly intercepte my sal"ation.Being so wea,! how coul I ha"e withstoo the temptations an istractions of a court0

I went $ac, to the rsulines where my goo sister continue her affection. But as she was notthe mistress of the $oarers! an I was o$lige sometimes to go along with them! I contracte

$a ha$its. I $ecame aicte to lying! pee"ishness an ine"otion! passing whole ays withoutthin,ing on &o# though He watche continually o"er me! as the seuel will manifest. I i notremain long uner the power of such ha$its $ecause my sisters care reco"ere me. I lo"emuch to hear of &o! was not weary of church! lo"e to pray! ha tenerness for the poor! an anatural isli,e for persons whose octrine was 5uge unsoun. &o has always continue tome this grace! in my greatest infielities.

There was at the en of the garen connecte with this con"ent! a little chapel eicate to thechil Gesus. To this I $etoo, myself for e"otion an! for some time! carrying my $rea,fastthither e"ery morning! I hi it all $ehin this image. I was so much a chil! that I thought I maea consiera$le sacrifice in epri"ing myself of it. elicate in my choice of foo! I wishe tomortify myself! $ut foun self7lo"e still too pre"alent! to su$mit to such mortification. /henthey were cleaning out this chapel! they foun $ehin the image what I ha left there an

presently guesse that it was I. They ha seen me e"ery ay going thither. I $elie"e that &o!who lets nothing pass without a recompense! soon reware me with interest for this littleinfantine e"otion.

I continue some time with my sister! where I retaine the lo"e an fear of &o. %y life waseasy# I was eucate agreea$ly with her. I impro"e much while I ha my health! $ut "ery oftenI was sic,! an sei-e with malaies as suen as they were uncommon. In the e"ening well# inthe morning swelle an full of $luish mar,s! symptoms of a fe"er which soon followe. At

nine years! I was ta,en with so "iolent a hemorrhage that they thought I was going to ie. I wasrenere e+ceeingly wea,.

A little $efore this se"ere attac,! my other sister $ecame 5ealous! wanting to ha"e me in turn.Though she le a goo life! yet she ha not a talent for the eucation of chilren. At first shecaresse me! $ut all her caresses mae no impression upon my heart. %y other sister i morewith a loo,! than she with either caresses or threatenings. As she saw that I lo"e her not sowell! she change to rigorous treatment. 2he woul not allow me to spea, to my other sister./hen she ,new I ha spo,en to her! she ha me whippe! or $eat me herself. I coul no longerhol out against se"ere usage! an therefore reuite with apparent ingratitue all the fa"ors ofmy paternal sister! going no more to see her. But this i not hiner her from gi"ing me mar,sof her usual gooness! in the se"ere malay 5ust mentione. 2he ,inly construe my

ingratitue to $e rather owing to my fear of chastisement! than to a $a heart. Inee! I $elie"e

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this was the only instance in which fear of chastisement operate so powerfully upon me. romthat time I suffere more in occasioning pain to One I lo"e! than in suffering myself at theirhan.

Thou ,nowest! O my Belo"e! that it was not the rea of Thy chastisements that sun, so eep!either into my unerstaning or my heart# it was the sorrow for offening Thee which e"erconstitute the whole of my istress# which was so great. I imagine if there were neither Hea"ennor Hell! I shoul always ha"e retaine the same fear of ispleasing Thee. Thou ,nowest thatafter my faults! when! in forgi"ing mercy! Thou wert please to "isit my soul! Thy caresses werea thousan7fol more insupporta$le than Thy ro.

%y father $eing informe of all that passe! too, me home again. I was nearly ten years of age.I staye only a little while at home. A nun of the orer of 2t. ominic! of a great family! one ofmy fathers intimate friens! solicite him to place me in her con"ent. 2he was the prioress an

promise she woul ta,e care of me an ma,e me loge in her room. This lay ha concei"e agreat affection for me. 2he was so ta,en up with her community! in its many trou$lesome e"ents

that she was not at li$erty to ta,e much care of me. I ha the chic,enpo+! which mae me ,eepto my $e three wee,s! in which I ha "ery $a care! though my father an mother thought Iwas uner e+cellent care. The laies of the house ha such a rea of the smallpo+! as theyimagine mine to $e! that they woul not come near me. I passe almost all the time withoutseeing any$oy. A lay7sister who only $rought me my allowance of iet at the set hoursimmeiately went off again. I pro"ientially foun a Bi$le an ha"ing $oth a fonness forreaing an a happy memory! I spent whole ays in reaing it from morning to night. I learneentirely the historical part. )et I was really "ery unhappy in this house. The other $oarers!

$eing large girls! istresse me with grie"ous persecutions. I was so much neglecte! as to foo!that I $ecame uite emaciate.

CHAPTER 3Thy name is as preciousointment poure forth# therefore o the "irgins lo"e thee.6 I felt in my soul an unction which! asa salutary $alsam! heale in a moment all my wouns.

I slept not that whole night! $ecause Thy lo"e! O my &o! flowe in me li,e a elicious oil! an

$urne as a fire which was going to e"our all that was left of self. I was suenly so alterethat I was harly to $e ,nown either $y myself or others. I foun no longer those trou$lesomefaults or reluctances. They isappeare! $eing consume li,e chaff in a great fire.

I now $ecame esirous that the instrument hereof might $ecome my irector! prefera$le to anyother. This goo father coul not reaily resol"e to charge himself with my conuct although hesaw so surprising a change effecte $y the han of &o. 2e"eral reasons inuce him to e+cusehimself. irst! my person! then my youth! for I was only nineteen years. *astly! a promise he hamae to &o! from a istrust of himself! ne"er to ta,e upon himself the irection of any of ourse+! unless &o! $y some particular pro"ience! shoul charge him therewith. Howe"er! uponmy earnest an repeate reuest to him to $ecome my irector! he sai he woul pray to &oan esire that I shoul o so. As he was at prayer! it was sai to him! 3ear not that charge#

she is my spouse.6 /hen I hear this! it affecte me greatly. 3/hat =sai I to myself@ a frightfulmonster of iniuity! who has one so much to offen my &o! in a$using His fa"ors! anreuiting them with ingratitue! now to $e eclare his spouse46 After this he consente to myreuest.

Nothing was more easy to me than prayer. Hours passe away li,e moments! while I coulharly o anything else $ut pray. The fer"ency of my lo"e allowe me no intermission. It was a

prayer of re5oicing an possessing! e"oi of all $usy imaginations an force reflections# it wasa prayer of the will! an not of the hea. The taste of &o was so great! so pure! un$lene anuninterrupte! that it rew an a$sor$e the power of my soul into a profoun recollectionwithout act or iscourse. I ha now no sight $ut of Gesus Christ alone. All else was e+clue! in

orer to lo"e with the greater e+tent! without any selfish moti"es or reasons for lo"ing.

The will! a$sor$e the two others! the memory an unerstaning into itself! an concentratethem in *o"e#(not $ut that they still su$siste! $ut their operations were in a mannerimpercepti$le an passi"e. They were no longer stoppe or retare $y the multiplicity! $utcollecte an unite in one. 2o the rising of the sun oes not e+tinguish the stars! $uto"erpowers an a$sor$s them in the luster of his incompara$le glory.

CHAPTER K

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2uch was the prayer that was gi"en me at once! far a$o"e ecstasies! transports or "isions. Allthese gifts are less pure! an more su$5ect to illusion or eceits from the enemy.

isions are in the inferior powers of the soul! an cannot prouce true union. The soul must not

well or rely upon them! or $e retare $y them# they are $ut fa"ors an gifts. The &i"er alonemust $e our o$5ect an aim.

It is of such that Paul spea,s! 32atan transforms himself into an angel of light!6 II Cor. 11>1?#which is generally the case with such as are fon of "isions! an lay a stress on them# $ecausethey are apt to con"ey a "anity to the soul! or at least hiner it from hum$ly attening to &oonly.

Ecstacies arise from a sensi$le relish. They may $e terme a ,in of spiritual sensuality!wherein the soul letting itself go too far! $y reason of the sweetness it fins in them! fallsimpercepti$ly into ecay. The crafty enemy presents such sort of interior ele"ations an rapturesfor $aits to entrap the soul! to fill it with "anity an self7lo"e! to fi+ its esteem an attention on

the gifts of &o! an to hiner it from following Gesus Christ in the way of renunciation an ofeath to all things.

An as to istinct interior wors! they too are su$5ect to illusion# the enemy can form ancounterfeit them. Or if they come from a goo angel =for &o Himself ne"er spea,s thus@ wemay mista,e an misapprehen them. They are spo,en in a i"ine manner! $ut we construethem in a human an carnal manner.

But the immeiate wor of &o has neither tone nor articulation. It is mute! silent! anunuttera$le. It is Gesus Christ Himself! the real an essential /or who in the center of the soulthat is ispose for recei"ing Him! ne"er one moment ceases from His li"ing! fruitful! ani"ine operation.

Oh! thou /or mae flesh! whose silence is ine+pressi$le elouence! Thou canst ne"er $emisapprehene or mista,en. Thou $ecomest the life of our life! an the soul of our soul. Howinfinitely is thy language ele"ate a$o"e all the utterances of human an finite articulation. Thyaora$le power! all efficacious in the soul that has recei"e it! communicates itself through themto others. As a i"ine see it $ecomes fruitful to eternal life.

The re"elations of things to come are also "ery angerous. The e"il can counterfeit them! as hei formerly in the heathen temples! where he uttere oracles. reuently they raise false ieas!"ain hopes! an fri"olous e+pectations. They ta,e up the min with future e"ents! hiner it fromying to self! an pre"ent it following Gesus Christ in His po"erty! a$negation! an eath.

/iely ifferent is the re"elation of Gesus Christ! mae to the soul when the eternal /or iscommunicate. =&al 1>1D.@ It ma,es us new creatures! create anew in Him. This re"elation iswhat the e"il cannot counterfeit. rom hence procees the only safe transport of ecstasy!which is operate $y na,e faith alone! an ying e"en to the gifts of &o. As long as the soulcontinues resting in gifts! it oes not fully renounce itself. Ne"er passing into &o the soul losesthe real en5oyment of the &i"er! $y attachments to the gifts. This is truly an unuttera$le loss.

*est I shoul let my min go after these gifts! an steal myself from thy lo"e! O my &o! Thouwast please to fi+ me in a continual aherence to Thyself alone. 2ouls thus irecte get theshortest way. They are to e+pect great sufferings! especially if they are mighty in faith! inmortification an eaness to all $ut &o. A pure an isintereste lo"e! an intenseness ofmin for the a"ancement of thy interest alone. These are the ispositions Thou ist implant in

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me! an e"en a fer"ent esire of suffering for Thee. The cross! which I ha hitherto $orne onlywith resignation! was $ecome my elight! an the special o$5ect of my re5oicing.

CHAPTER 19

I wrote an account of my wonerful change! in point of happiness! to that goo father who ha$een mae the instrument of it. It fille him $oth with 5oy an astonishment.

O my &o! what penances i the lo"e of suffering inuce me to unergo4 I was impelle toepri"e myself of the most innocent inulgences. All that coul gratify my taste was enie anI too, e"erything that coul mortify an isgust it. %y appetite! which ha $een e+tremelyelicate! was so far conuere that I coul scarcely prefer one thing to another.

I resse loathsome sores an wouns! an ga"e remeies to the sic,. /hen I first engage inthis sort of employment! it was with the greatest ifficulty I was a$le to $ear it. As soon as mya"ersion cease! an I coul stan the most offensi"e things! other channels of employmentwere opene to me. or I i nothing of myself! $ut left myself to $e wholly go"erne $y my2o"ereign.

/hen that goo father as,e me how I lo"e &o! I answere! 3ar more than the mostpassionate lo"er his $elo"e# an that e"en this comparison was inaeuate! since the lo"e ofthe creature ne"er can attain to this! either in strength or in epth.6 This lo"e of &o occupiemy heart so constantly an so strongly! that I coul thin, of nothing else. Inee! I 5ugenothing else worthy of my thoughts.

The goo father mentione was an e+cellent preacher. He was esire to preach in the parish towhich I $elonge. /hen I came! I was so strongly a$sor$e in &o! that I coul neither openmy eyes! nor hear anything he sai.

I foun that Thy /or! O my &o! mae its own impression on my heart! an there ha itseffect! without the meiation of wors or any attention to them. An I ha"e foun it so e"ersince! $ut after a ifferent manner! accoring to the ifferent egrees an states I ha"e passethrough. 2o eeply was I settle in the inwar spirit of prayer! that I coul scarce any more

pronounce the "ocal prayers.

This immersion in &o a$sor$e all things therein. Although I tenerly lo"e certain saints! as2t. Peter! 2t. Paul! 2t. %ary %agalene! 2t. Teresa! yet I coul not form to myself images of

them! nor in"o,e any of them out of &o.

A few wee,s after I ha recei"e that interior woun of the heart! which ha $egun my change!the feast of the Blesse irgin was hel! in the con"ent in which was that goo father myirector. I went in the morning to get the inulgences an was much surprise when I camethere an foun that I coul not attempt it# though I staye a$o"e fi"e hours in the church. I was

penetrate with so li"ely a art of pure lo"e! that I coul not resol"e to a$rige $y inulgences!the pain ue to my sins. 3O my *o"e!6 I crie! 3I am willing to suffer for Thee. I fin no other

pleasure $ut in suffering for Thee. Inulgences may $e goo for those who ,now not the "alueof sufferings! who choose not that thy i"ine 5ustice shoul $e satisfie# who! ha"ing mercenarysouls! are not so much afrai of ispleasing Thee! as of the pains anne+e to sin.6 )et! fearing I

might $e mista,en! an commit a fault in not getting the inulgences! for I ha ne"er hear ofanyone $eing in such a way $efore! I returne again to try to get them! $ut in "ain. Not ,nowing

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what to o! I resigne myself to our *or. /hen I returne home! I wrote to the goo father thathe ha mae what I ha written a part of his sermon! reciting it "er$atim as I ha written it.

I now uitte all company! $ae farewell fore"er to all plays an i"ersions! ancing!

unprofita$le wal,s an parties of pleasure. or two years I ha left off ressing my hair. It$ecame me! an my hus$an appro"e it.

%y only pleasure now was to steal some moments to $e alone with Thee! O thou who art myonly *o"e4 All other pleasure was a pain to me. I lost not Thy presence! which was gi"en me $ya continual infusion! not as I ha imagine! $y the efforts of the hea! or $y force of thought inmeitating on &o! $ut in the will! where I taste with unuttera$le sweetness the en5oyment ofthe $elo"e o$5ect. In a happy e+perience I ,new that that the soul was create to en5oy its &o.

The union of the will su$5ects the soul to &o! conforms it to all His pleasure! causes self7willgraually to ie. *astly in rawing with it the other powers! $y means of the charity with whichit is fille. It causes them graually to $e reunite in the Center! an lost there as to their own

nature an operations.

This loss is calle the annihilation of the powers. Although in themsel"es they still su$sist! yetthey seem annihilate to us! in proportion as charity fills an inflames# it $ecomes so strong! as

$y egrees to surmount all the acti"ities of the will of man! su$5ecting it to that of &o. /henthe soul is ocile! an lea"es itself to $e purifie! an emptie of all that which it has of its own!opposite to the will of &o! it fins itself $y little an little! etache from e"ery emotion of itsown! an place in a holy inifference! wishing nothing $ut what &o oes an wills. Thisne"er can $e effecte $y the acti"ity of our own will! e"en though it were employe in continualacts of resignation. These though "ery "irtuous! are so far ones own actions an cause the willto su$sist in a multiplicity! in a ,in of separate istinction or issimilitue from &o.

/hen the will of the creature entirely su$mits to that of the Creator! suffering freely an"oluntarily an yieling only a concurrence to the i"ine will =which is its a$solute su$mission@suffering itself to $e totally surmounte an estroye! $y the operations of lo"e# this a$sor$sthe will into self! consummates it in that of &o! an purifies it from all narrowness!issimilitue! an selfishness.

The case is the same with the other two powers. By means of charity! the two other theological"irtues! faith an hope! are introuce. aith so strongly sei-es on the unerstaning! as to ma,eit ecline all reasonings! all particular illuminations an illustrations! howe"er su$lime. Thissufficiently emonstrates how far "isions! re"elations an ecstasies! iffer from this! an hinerthe soul from $eing lost in &o. Although $y them it appears lost in Him for some transient

moments! yet it is not a true loss! since the soul which is entirely lost in &o no more fins itselfagain. aith then ma,es the soul lose e"ery istinct light! in orer to place it in its own purelight.

The memory! too! fins all its little acti"ities surmounte $y egrees! an a$sor$e in hope.inally the powers are all concentrate an lost in pure lo"e. It engulfs them into itself $y meansof their so"ereign! the /ill. The will is the so"ereign of the powers an charity is the ueen ofthe "irtues! an unites them all in herself.

This reunion thus mae! is calle the central union or unity. By means of the will an lo"e! allare reunite in the center of the soul in &o who is our ultimate en. Accoring to 2t. Gohn! 3Hewho welleth in lo"e! welleth in &o! for &o is lo"e.6

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efecti"e'(in my mortifications! my penances! my alms7gi"ing! my retirement! I was faulty./hen I wal,e! I o$ser"e there was something wrong# if I spo,e any way in my own fa"or! Isaw prie. If I sai within myself! alas! I will spea, no more! here was self. If I was cheerful anopen! I was conemne. Pure lo"e always foun matter for reproof in me! an was 5ealous thatnothing shoul escape unnotice. It was not that I was particularly attenti"e o"er myself! for itwas e"en with constraint that I coul loo, at all at myself. %y attention towar &o! $y anattachment of my will to His! was without intermission. I waite continually upon Him! an Hewatche incessantly o"er me! an He so le me $y His pro"ience! that I forgot all things. I,new not how to communicate what I felt to anyone. I was so lost to myself! that I coulscarcely go a$out self7e+amination. /hen I attempte it all ieas of myself immeiatelyisappeare. I foun myself occupie with my one o$5ect without istinction of ieas. I wasa$sor$e in peace ine+pressi$le# I saw $y the eye of faith that it was &o that thus wholly

possesse me# $ut I i not reason at all a$out it. It must not! howe"er! $e suppose that i"inelo"e suffere my faults to go unpunishe.

O *or4 with what rigor! ost Thou punish the most faithful! the most lo"ing an $elo"e of

Thy chilren. I mean not e+ternally! for this woul $e inaeuate to the smallest fault! in a soulthat &o is a$out to purify raically. The punishments it can inflict on itself! are rathergratifications an refreshments than otherwise. Inee! the manner in which He corrects Hischosen! must $e felt! or it is impossi$le to concei"e how reaful it is. In my attempt to e+plainit! I shall $e unintelligi$le! e+cept to e+perience souls. It is an internal $urning! a secret firesent from &o to purge away the fault! gi"ing e+treme pain! until this purification is complete. Itis li,e a islocate 5oint! which is in incessant torment! until the $one is replace. This pain is sose"ere! that the soul woul o anything to satisfy &o for the fault! an woul rather $e torn in

pieces than enure the torment. 2ometimes the soul flies to others! an opens her state that shemay fin consolation. There$y she frustrates &os esigns towar her. It is of the utmostconseuence to ,now what use to ma,e of the istress. The whole of ones spirituala"ancement epens on it. /e shoul at these seasons of internal anguish! o$scurity an

mourning! co7operate with &o! enure this consuming torture in its utmost e+tent =while itcontinues@ without attempting to lessen or increase it. Bear it passi"ely! nor see, to satisfy &o

$y anything we can o of oursel"es. To continue passi"e at such a time is e+tremely ifficult!an reuires great firmness an courage. I ,new some who ne"er a"ance farther in thespiritual process $ecause they grew impatient! an sought means of consolation.

CHAPTER 1:

The treatment of my hus$an an mother7in7law! howe"er rigorous an insulting! I now $ore

silently. I mae no replies an this was not so ifficult for me! $ecause the greatness of myinterior occupation! an what passe within! renere me insensi$le to all the rest. There weretimes when I was left to myself. Then I coul not refrain from tears. I i the lowest offices forthem to hum$le myself. All this i not win their fa"or. /hen they were in a rage! although Icoul not fin that I ha gi"en them any occasion! yet I i not fail to $eg their paron! e"enfrom the girl of whom I ha"e spo,en. I ha a goo eal of pain to surmount myself! as to thelast. 2he $ecame the more insolent for it# reproaching me with things which ought to ha"e maeher $lush an ha"e co"ere her with shame. As she saw that I contraicte an resiste her nomore in anything! she proceee to treat me worse. An when I as,e her paron she triumphe!saying! 3I ,new "ery well I was in the right.6 Her arrogance rose to the height that I woul notha"e treate the meanest sla"e.

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One ay! as she was ressing me! she pulle me roughly! an spo,e to me insolently. I sai! 3Itis not my account that I am willing to answer you! for you gi"e me no pain! $ut lest you shoulact thus $efore persons to whom it woul gi"e offence. %oreo"er! as I am your mistress! &o isassurely offene with you.6 2he left me that moment! an ran li,e a ma woman to meet myhus$an telling him she woul stay no longer! I treate her so ill! that I hate her for the care shetoo, of him in his continual inispositions! wanting her not to o any ser"ice for him. %yhus$an was "ery hasty! so he too, fire at these wors. I finishe ressing alone. 2ince she haleft me I are not call another girl# she woul not suffer another girl to come near me. I saw myhus$an coming li,e a lion! he was ne"er in such a rage as this. I thought he was going to stri,eme# I awaite the $low with tranuillity# he threatene with his uplifte crutch# I thought he wasgoing to ,noc, me own. Holing myself closely unite to &o! I $ehel it without pain. He inot stri,e me for he ha presence of min enough to see what inignity it woul $e. In his ragehe threw it at me. It fell near me! $ut it i not touch me. He then ischarge himself inlanguage as if I ha $een a street $eggar! or the most infamous of creatures. I ,ept profounsilence! $eing recollecte in the *or.

The girl in the meantime came in. At the sight of her his rage reou$le. I ,ept near to &o! as a"ictim ispose to suffer whate"er He woul permit. %y hus$an orere me to $eg her paron!which I reaily i! an there$y appease him. I went into my closet! where I no sooner was!than my i"ine irector impelle me to ma,e this girl a present! to recompense her for the crosswhich she ha cause me. 2he was a little astonishe! $ut her heart was too har to $e gaine.

I often acte thus $ecause she freuently ga"e me opportunities. 2he ha a singular e+terity inattening the sic,. %y hus$an! ailing almost continually! woul suffer no other person toaminister to him. He ha a "ery great regar for her. 2he was artful# in his presence sheaffecte an e+traorinary respect for me. /hen he was not present! if I sai a wor to her!though with the greatest milness an if she hear him coming! she crie out with all her mightthat she was unhappy. 2he acte li,e one istresse so that! without informing himself of the

truth! he was irritate against me! as was also my mother7in7law.

The "iolence I i to my prou an hasty nature was so great! that I coul hol out no longer. Iwas uite spent with it. It seeme sometimes as if I was inwarly rent! an I ha"e often fallensic, with the struggle. 2he i not for$ear e+claiming against me! e"en $efore persons ofistinction! who came to see me. If I was silent! she too, offence at that yet more! an sai that Iespise her. 2he crie me own! an mae complaints to e"ery$oy. All this reoune to myhonor an her own isgrace. %y reputation was so well esta$lishe! on account of my e+teriormoesty! my e"otion! an the great acts of charity which I i! that nothing coul sha,e it.

2ometimes she ran out into the street! crying out against me. At one time she e+claime! 3Am

not I "ery unhappy to ha"e such a mistress06 People gathere a$out her to ,now what I haone to her# an not ,nowing what to say! she answere that I ha not spo,en to her all the ay.They returne! laughing! an sai! 32he has one you no great harm then.6

I am surprise at the $linness of confessors! an at their permitting their penitents to conceal somuch of the truth from them. The confessor of this girl mae her pass for a saint. This he sai inmy hearing. I answere nothing# for lo"e woul not permit me to spea, of my trou$les. I shoulconsecrate them all to &o $y a profoun silence.

%y hus$an was out of humor with my e"otion. 3/hat!6 sai he! 3you lo"e &o so much! thatyou lo"e me no longer.6 2o little i he comprehen that the true con5ugal lo"e is that which the*or Himself forms in the heart that lo"es Him.

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anything. I still continue to use many se"ere mortifications an austerities. They i not in theleast iminish the freshness of my countenance.

I ha often grie"ous fits of sic,ness an no consolation in life! e+cept in the practice of prayer!

an in seeing %other &ranger. How ear i these cost me! especially the former4 Is thisesteeming the cross as I ought0'(shoul I not rather say that prayer to me was recompensewith the cross! an the cross with prayer. Insepara$le gifts unite in my heart an life4 /henyour eternal light arose in my soul! how perfectly it reconcile me an mae you the o$5ect ofmy lo"e4 rom the moment I recei"e Thee I ha"e ne"er $een free from the cross! nor it seemswithout prayer'(though for a long time I thought myself epri"e thereof! which e+ceeinglyaugmente my afflictions.

%y confessor at first e+erte his efforts to hiner me from practicing prayer! an from seeing%other &ranger. He "iolently stirre up my hus$an an mother7in7law to hiner me from

praying. The metho they too, was to watch me from morning until night. I are not go outfrom my mother7in7laws room! or from my hus$ans $esie. 2ometimes I carrie my wor, to

the winow! uner a pretense of seeing $etter! in orer to relie"e myself with some momentsrepose. They came to watch me "ery closely! to see if I i not pray instea of wor,ing. /henmy hus$an an mother7in7law playe cars! if I i turn towar the fire! they watche to see ifI continue my wor, or shut my eyes. If they o$ser"e I close them! they woul $e in a furyagainst me for se"eral hours. /hat is most strange! when my hus$an went out! ha"ing someays of health! he woul not allow me to pray in his a$sence. He mar,e my wor,! ansometimes! after he was 5ust gone out! returning immeiately! if he foun me in prayer he woul

$e in a rage. In "ain I sai! 32urely! sir! what matters it what I o when you are a$sent! if I $eassiuous in attening you when you are present06 That woul not satisfy him# he insiste that Ishoul no more pray in his a$sence than in his presence.

I $elie"e there is harly a torment eual to that of $eing arently rawn to retirement! an not

ha"ing it in ones power to $e retire.

O my &o! the war they raise to hiner me from lo"ing Thee i $ut augment my lo"e. /hilethey were stri"ing to pre"ent my aresses to Thee! thou rewest me into an ine+pressi$lesilence. The more they la$ore to separate me from Thee! the more closely ist Thou unite meto Thyself. The flame of Thy lo"e was ,inle! an ,ept up $y e"erything that was one toe+tinguish it.

Often through compliance I playe at piuet with my hus$an. At such times I was e"en moreinteriorly attracte than if I ha $een at church. I was scarce a$le to contain the fire which

$urne in my soul! which ha all the fer"or of what men call lo"e! $ut nothing of its

impetuosity. The more arent! the more peacea$le it was. This fire gaine strength frome"erything that was one to suppress it. An the spirit of prayer was nourishe an increasefrom their contri"ances an enea"ors to isallow me any time for practicing it. I lo"e withoutconsiering a moti"e or reason for lo"ing. Nothing passe in my hea! $ut much in theinnermost recesses of my soul. I thought not a$out any recompense! gift! or fa"or! which Hecoul $estow or I recei"e. The /ell7$elo"e was Himself the only o$5ect which attracte myheart. I coul not contemplate His attri$utes. I ,new nothing else! $ut to lo"e an to suffer.Ignorance more truly learne than any science of the octors! since it taught me so well GesusChrist crucifie an $rought me to $e in lo"e with His holy cross. I coul then ha"e wishe toie! in orer to $e insepara$ly unite to Him who so powerfully attracte my heart. As all this

passe in the will! the imagination an the unerstaning $eing a$sor$e in it! I ,new not whatto say! ha"ing ne"er rea or hear of such a state as I e+perience. I reae elusion an feare

that all was not right! for $efore this I ha ,nown nothing of the operations of &o in souls. I

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ha only rea 2t. rancis e 2ales! Thomas 0 empis! The 2piritual Com$at! an the Holy2criptures. I was uite a stranger to those spiritual $oo,s wherein such states are escri$e.

Then all those amusements an pleasures that are pri-e an esteeme appeare to me ull an

insipi. I wonere how it coul $e that I ha e"er en5oye them. An inee since that time! Icoul ne"er fin any satisfaction or en5oyment out of &o. I ha"e sometimes $een unfaithfulenough to fin it. I was not astonishe that martyrs ga"e their li"es for Gesus Christ. I thoughtthem happy! an sighe after their pri"ilege of suffering for Him. I so esteeme the cross thatmy greatest trou$le was the want of suffering as much as my heart thirste for.

This respect an esteem for the cross continually increase. Afterwar I lost the sensi$le relishan en5oyment! yet the lo"e an esteem no more left me than the cross itself. Inee! it has e"er

$een my faithful companion! changing an augmenting! in proportion to the changes anispositions of my inwar state. O $lesse cross! thou hast ne"er uitte me! since I surreneremyself to my i"ine! crucifie %aster. I still hope that thou wilt ne"er a$anon me. 2o eagerwas I for the cross! that I enea"ore to ma,e myself feel the utmost rigor of e"ery

mortification. This only ser"e to awa,en my esire for suffering! an to show me that it is &oalone that can prepare an sen crosses suita$le to a soul that thirsts for a following of Hissufferings! an a conformity to His eath. The more my state of prayer augmente! my esire ofsuffering grew stronger! as the full weight of hea"y crosses from e"ery sie came thuneringupon me.

The peculiar property of this prayer of the heart is to gi"e a strong faith. %ine was withoutlimits! as was also my resignation to &o! an my confience in Him'(my lo"e of His will! anof the orer of His pro"ience o"er me. I was "ery timorous $efore! $ut now feare nothing. Itis in such a case that one feels the efficacy of these wors! 3%y yo,e is easy! an my $uren islight6 =%att. 11>;9@.

CHAPTER 1;

I ha a secret esire gi"en me from that time to $e wholly e"ote to the isposal of my &o! letthat $e what it woul. I sai! 3/hat coulst Thou eman of me! that I woul not willingly offerThee0 Oh! spare me not.6 The cross an humiliations were represente to my min in the mostfrightful colors! $ut this eterre me not. I yiele myself up as willing an inee our *orseeme to accept of my sacrifice! for His i"ine pro"ience furnishe me incessantly withoccasions an opportunities for putting it to the test.

I ha ifficulty to say "ocal prayers I ha $een use to repeat. As soon as I opene my lips topronounce them! the lo"e of &o sei-e me strongly. I was swallowe up in a profoun silencean an ine+pressi$le peace. I mae fresh attempts $ut still in "ain. I $egan again an again! $utcoul not go on. I ha ne"er $efore hear of such a state! I ,new not what to o. %y ina$ilityincrease $ecause my lo"e to the *or was growing more strong! more "iolent an moreo"erpowering. There was mae in me! without the soun of wors! a continual prayer. It seemeto me to $e the prayer of our *or Gesus Christ Himself# a prayer of the /or! which is mae $ythe 2pirit. Accoring to 2t. Paul it 3as,eth for us that which is goo! perfect! an conforma$le tothe will of &o6 =Rom. ?>:D7:J@.

%y omestic crosses continue. I was pre"ente from seeing or e"en writing to %rs. &ranger.%y "ery going to i"ine ser"ice or the sacrament! were a source of woeful offences. The only

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amusement I ha left me! was the "isiting an attening the sic, poor! an performing thelowest offices for them.

%y prayer7time $egan to $e e+ceeingly istressing. I compelle myself to continue at it!

though epri"e of all comfort an consolation. /hen I was not employe therein! I felt anarent esire an longing for it. I suffere ine+pressi$le anguish in my min! an enea"orewith the se"erest inflictions of corporeal austerities to mitigate an i"ert it'($ut in "ain. I founno more that enli"ening "igor which ha hitherto carrie me on with great swiftness. I seemeto myself to $e li,e those young $ries! who fin a great eal of ifficulty to lay asie their self7lo"e! an to follow their hus$ans to the war. I relapse into a "ain complacency an fonnessfor myself. %y propensity to prie an "anity! which seeme uite ea! while I was so fillewith lo"e of &o! now showe itself again! an ga"e me se"ere e+ercise. This mae me lamentthe e+terior $eauty of my person! an pray to &o incessantly! that he woul remo"e from methat o$stacle! an ma,e me ugly. I coul e"en ha"e wishe to $e eaf! $lin an um$! thatnothing might i"ert me from my lo"e of &o.

I set out on a 5ourney! which we ha then to ma,e! an I appeare more than e"er li,e thoselamps which emit a glimmering flash! when they are 5ust on the point of e+tinguishing. Alas4how many snares were lai in my way4 I met them at e"ery step. I e"en committe infielitiesthrough unwatchfulness.

O my *or! with what rigor ist Thou punish them4 A useless glance was chec,e as a sin.How many tears i those ina"ertent faults cost me! through a wea, compliance! an e"enagainst my will4 Thou ,nowest that Thy rigor! e+ercise after my slips! was not the moti"e ofthose tears which I she. /ith what pleasure woul I ha"e suffere the most rigorous se"erity toha"e $een cure of my infielity. To what se"ere chastisement i I not conemn myself42ometimes Thou ist treat me li,e a father who pities the chil! an caresses it after itsin"oluntary faults. How often ist Thou ma,e me sensi$le of Thy lo"e towar me!

notwithstaning my $lemishes4 It was the sweetness of this lo"e after my falls which cause mygreatest pain# for the more the amia$leness of Thy lo"e was e+tene to me! the moreinconsola$le I was for ha"ing eparte e"er so little from Thee. /hen I ha let someina"ertence escape me! I foun Thee reay to recei"e me. I ha"e often crie out! 3O my *or4is it possi$le thou canst $e so gracious to such an offener! an so inulgent to my faults# so

propitious to one who has wanere astray from Thee! $y "ain complaisances! an an unworthyfonness for fri"olous o$5ects0 )et no sooner o I return! than I fin Thee waiting! with openarms reay to recei"e me.

O sinner! sinner4 hast thou any reason to complain of &o0 If there yet remains in thee any5ustice! confess the truth! an amit that it is owing to thyself if thou goest wrong# that in

eparting from Him thou iso$eyest His call. /hen thou returnest! He is reay to recei"e thee#an if thou returnest not! He ma,es use of the most engaging moti"es to win thee. )et thouturnest a eaf ear to His "oice# thou wilt not hear Him. Thou sayest He spea,s not to thee!though He calls louly. It is therefore only $ecause thou aily re$ellest! an art growing ailymore an more eaf to the "oice.

/hen I was in Paris! an the clergy saw me so young! they appeare astonishe. Those to whomI opene my state tol me! that I coul ne"er enough than, &o for the graces conferre on me#that if I ,new them I shoul $e ama-e at them# an that if I were not faithful! I shoul $e themost ungrateful of all creatures. 2ome eclare that they ne"er ,new any woman whom &ohel so closely! an in so great a purity of conscience.

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I $elie"e what renere it so was the continual care Thou hast o"er me! O my &o! ma,ing mefeel Thy presence! e"en as Thou hast promise it to us in Thy &ospel!'(6if a man lo"e me! myather will lo"e him! an we will come unto him! an ma,e our a$oe with him6 =Gohn 1:;@.The continual e+perience of Thy presence in me was what preser"e me. I $ecame eeplyassure of what the prophet ha sai! 3E+cept the *or ,eep the city! the watchman wa,eth $utin "ain6 =Ps. 1:J>1@. Thou! O my *o"e! wert my faithful ,eeper! who ist efen my heartagainst all sorts of enemies! pre"enting the least faults! or correcting them when "i"acity haoccasione their $eing committe. But alas4 when Thou ist cease to watch for me! or left meto myself! how wea, was I! an how easily i my enemies pre"ail o"er me4 *et others ascri$etheir "ictory to their own fielity. As for me! I shall ne"er attri$ute them to anything else thanthy paternal care. I ha"e too often e+perience! to my cost! what I shoul $e without Thee! to

presume in the least on any cares of my own. It is to Thee! an to Thee only! that I owee"erything! O my eli"erer# an my $eing ine$te to Thee for it gi"es me infinite 5oy.

/hile in Paris! I rela+e an i many things which I shoul not. I ,new the e+treme fonnesswhich some ha for me! an suffere them to e+press it without chec,ing it as I ought. I fell into

other faults too! as ha"ing my nec, a little too $are! though not near so much as others ha. Iplainly saw I was too remiss# an that was my torment. I sought all a$out for Him who hasecretly inflame my heart. But! alas4 harly any$oy ,new Him. I crie! 3Oh! Thou $est

$elo"e of my soul! hast Thou $een near me these isasters ha not $efallen me.6 /hen I saythat I spo,e thus to Him! it is $ut to e+plain myself. In reality! it all passe almost in silence! forI coul not spea,. %y heart ha a language which was carrie on without the soun of wors!unerstoo of Him! as He unerstans the language of the /or! which spea,s incessantly inthe innermost recesses of the soul. Oh! sacre language4 E+perience only gi"es thecomprehension of it4 *et not any thin, it a $arren language! an effect of the mere imagination.ar ifferent'(it is the silent e+pression of the /or in the soul. As He ne"er ceases to spea,! soHe ne"er ceases to operate. If people once came to ,now the operations of the *or! in soulswholly resigne to His guiing! it woul fill them with re"erential amiration an awe.

I saw that the purity of my state was li,e to $e sullie $y too great a commerce with thecreatures! so I mae haste to finish what etaine me in Paris! in orer to return to the country.3Tis true! O my *or! I felt that Thou hast gi"en me strength enough to a"oi the occasions ofe"il'($ut when I ha so far yiele as to get into them! I foun I coul not resist the "aincomplaisances! an a num$er of other foi$les which they ensnare me into.6 The pain which Ifelt after my faults was ine+pressi$le. It was not an anguish that arose from any istinct iea orconception! from any particular moti"e or affection'($ut a ,in of e"ouring fire which ceasenot! till the fault was consume an the soul purifie. It was a $anishment of my soul from the

presence of its Belo"e. I coul ha"e no access to Him! neither coul I ha"e any rest out ofHim. I ,new not what to o. I was li,e the o"e out of the ar,! which fining no rest for the soulof her foot! was constraine to return to the ar,# $ut! fining the winow shut! coul only flya$out. In the meantime! through an infielity which will e"er rener me culpa$le! I stro"e tofin some satisfaction without! $ut coul not. This ser"e to con"ince me of my folly an of the"anity of those pleasures which are calle innocent. /hen I was pre"aile on to taste them! Ifelt a strong repulse which! 5oine with my remorse for the transgression! change the i"ersioninto torment. 3Oh! my ather!6 sai I! 3this is not Thee# an nothing else! $esie Thee! can gi"esoli pleasure.6

One ay! as much through unfaithfulness as complaisance! I went to ta,e a wal, at some of thepu$lic par,s! rather from e+cess of "anity to show myself than to ta,e the pleasure of the place.Oh! my *or4 how ist Thou ma,e me sensi$le of this fault0 But far from punishing me inletting me parta,e of the amusement! Thou ist it in holing me so close to Thyself! that I

coul gi"e no attention to anything $ut my fault an Thy ispleasure. After this I was in"ite

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with some other laies to an entertainment at 2t. Clou. Through "anity an wea, compliance! Iyiele an went. The affair was magnificent# they! though wise in the eye of the worl! coulrelish it. I was fille with $itterness. I coul eat nothing! I coul en5oy nothing. Oh! what tears4or $eyon three months my Belo"e withrew His fa"oring presence! an I coul see nothing

$ut an angry &o.

I was on this occasion! an in another 5ourney which I too, with my hus$an into Touraine! li,ethose animals estine for slaughter. On certain ays people aorn them with greens anflowers! an $ring in pomp into the city $efore they ,ill them. This wea, $eauty! on the e"e ofecline! shone forth with new $rightness! in orer to $ecome the sooner e+tinct. I was shortlyafter afflicte with the smallpo+.

One ay as I wal,e to church! followe $y a footman I was met $y a poor man. I went to gi"ehim alms# he than,e me $ut refuse them an then spo,e to me in a wonerful manner of &oan of i"ine things. He isplaye to me my whole heart! my lo"e to &o! my charity! my toogreat fonness for my $eauty an all my faults# he tol me it was not enough to a"oi Hell! $ut

that the *or reuire of me the utmost purity an height of perfection. %y heart assente to hisreproofs. I hear him with silence an respect! his wors penetrate my "ery soul. /hen Iarri"e at the church I fainte away. I ha"e ne"er seen the man since.

CHAPTER 1:1. Oh! $ut it is then that the will is reneremar"elous! $oth $ecause it is mae the will of the *or! which is the greatest of miracles# also

$ecause it wor,s woners in Him. or as it is the *or who wills in the soul! that will has itseffect. 2carcely has it wille $ut the thing is one.

But some may say! /hy then so many oppressions enure0 /hy o not these souls! if theyha"e such a power! set themsel"es free from them0 /e answer that if they ha any will to oanything of that sort against i"ine pro"ience! that woul $e the will of flesh! or the will ofman! an not the will of &o! Gohn 1>1;.

I rose generally at minight! wa,ing at the proper time# $ut if I woun up my alarm7watch! thenI use not to awa,e in time. I saw that the *or ha the care of a father an a spouse o"er me./hen I ha any inisposition! an my $oy wante rest! He i not awa,e me# $ut at such timesI felt e"en in my sleep a singular possession of Him. 2ome years ha"e passe wherein I ha"eha only a ,in of half7sleep# $ut my soul wa,e the more for the *or! as sleep seeme to stealfrom it e"ery other attention. The *or mae it ,nown also to many persons! that He esigneme for a mother of great people! $ut a people simple an chilli,e. They too, these intelligencesin a literal sense an thought it relate to some institution or congregation. But it appeare to methat the persons whom it woul please the *or that I shoul win o"er to Him! an to whom Ishoul $e as a mother! through His gooness! shoul ha"e the same union of affection for me aschilren ha"e for a parent! $ut a union much eeper an stronger# gi"ing me all that was

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more my spirit was lost in its 2o"ereign! who attracte it more an more to Himself. He wasplease at first that I shoul ,now this for the sa,e of others an not for myself. Inee He rewmy soul more an more into Himself! till it lost itself entirely out of sight! an coul percei"eitself no more. It seeme at first to pass into Him. As one sees a ri"er pass into the ocean! loseitself in it! its water for a time istinguishe from that of the sea! till it graually $ecomestransforme into the same sea! an possesses all its ualities# so was my soul lost in &o! whocommunicate to it His ualities! ha"ing rawn it out of all that it ha of its own. Its life is aninconcei"a$le innocence! not ,nown or comprehene of those who are still shut up inthemsel"es or only li"e for themsel"es.

The 5oy which such a soul possesses in its &o is so great! that it e+periences the truth of thosewors of the royal prophet! 3All they who are in thee! O *or! are li,e persons ra"ishe with

5oy.6 To such a soul the wors of our *or seem to $e aresse! 3)our 5oy no man shall ta,efrom you.6 Gohn 1D>::. It is as it were plunge in a ri"er of peace. Its prayer is continual.

Nothing can hiner it from praying to &o! or from lo"ing Him. It amply "erifies these wors inthe Canticles! 3I sleep $ut my heart wa,eth#6 for it fins that e"en sleep itself oes not hiner it

from praying. Oh! unuttera$le happiness4 /ho coul e"er ha"e thought that a soul! whichseeme to $e in the utmost misery! shoul e"er fin a happiness eual to this0 Oh! happypo"erty! happy loss! happy nothingness! which gi"es no less than &o Himself in His ownimmensity! no more circumscri$e to the limite manner of the creature! $ut always rawing itout of that! to plunge it wholly into His own i"ine essence.

Then the soul ,nows that all the states of self7pleasing "isions! openings! ecstasies an raptures!are rather o$stacles# that they o not ser"e this state which is far a$o"e them# $ecause the statewhich has supports! has pain to lose them# yet cannot arri"e at this without such loss. In this are"erifie the wors of an e+perience saint# 3/hen I woul!6 says he! 3possess nothing throughself7lo"e! e"erything was gi"en me without going after it.6 Oh! happy ying of the grain ofwheat! which ma,es it prouce an hunrefol4 The soul is then so passi"e! so eually ispose

to recei"e from the han of &o either goo or e"il! as is astonishing. It recei"es $oth the onean the other without any selfish emotions! letting them flow an $e lost as they come. They

pass away as if they i not touch.

After I finishe my retreat with the rsulines at Tonon! I returne through &ene"a an! ha"ingfoun no other means of con"eyance! the rench resient lent me a horse. As I ,new not how torie I mae some ifficulty of oing it# $ut as he assure me that it was a "ery uiet horse! I"enture to mount. There was a sort of a smith! who loo,ing at me with a wil haggar loo,!struc, the horse a $low on the $ac,! 5ust as I ha got upon him! which mae him gi"e a leap. Hethrew me on the groun with such force that they thought I was ,ille. I fell on my temple. %ychee,$one an two of my teeth were $ro,en. I was supporte $y an in"isi$le han an in a little

time I mounte as well as I coul on another horse an ha a man $y my sie to ,eep me up.

%y relations left me in peace at &e+. They ha hear at Paris of my miraculous cure# it mae agreat noise there. %any persons in reputation for sanctity then wrote to me. I recei"e lettersfrom %aemoiselle e *amoignon! an another young lay! who was so mo"e with myanswer! that she sent me a hunre pistoles for our house! an let me ,now $esies that! whenwe wante money! I ha only to write to her# an that she woul sen me all I coul esire.They tal,e in Paris of printing an account of the sacrifice I ha mae! an inserting in it themiracle of my suen reco"ery. I ont ,now what pre"ente it# $ut such is the inconstancy ofthe creature! that this 5ourney! which rew upon me at that time so much applause! has ser"efor a prete+t for the strange conemnation which has since passe upon me.

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CHAPTER 8

%y near relations i not signify any eager esire for my return. The first thing they propose to

me! a month after my arri"al at &e+! was not only to gi"e up my guarianship! $ut to ma,e o"erall my estate to my chilren an to reser"e an annuity to myself. This proposition! coming frompeople who regare nothing $ut their own interest! to some might ha"e appeare "eryunpleasing# $ut it was in no wise so to me. I ha not any frien to a"ise with. I ,new notanyone whom I coul consult a$out the manner of e+ecuting the thing! as I was uite free anwilling to o it. It appeare to me that I ha now the means of accomplishing the e+treme esireI ha of $eing conforma$le to Gesus Christ! poor! na,e! an strippe of all. They sent me anarticle to e+ecute! which ha $een rawn uner their inspection! an I innocently signe it! not

percei"ing some clauses which were inserte therein. It e+presse that! when my chilrenshoul ie! I shoul inherit nothing of my own estate! $ut that it shoul re"ol"e to my ,inre.There were many other things! which appeare to $e eually to my isa"antage. Though what Iha reser"e to myself was sufficient to support me in this place# yet it was scarcely enough to

o so in some other places. I then ga"e up my estate with more 5oy! for $eing there$y conformeto Gesus Christ! than they coul ha"e who as,e it from me. It is what I ha"e ne"er repente of!nor ha any uneasiness a$out. /hat pleasure to lose all for the *or4 The lo"e of po"erty! thuscontracte! is the ,ingom of tranuillity.

I forgot to mention that towar the en of my misera$le state of pri"ation! when 5ust reay toenter into newness of life! our *or illuminate me so clearly to see that the e+terior crossescame from Him! that I coul not har$or any resentment against the persons who procure methem. On the contrary! I felt the tenerness of compassion for them! an ha more pain for thoseafflictions which I innocently cause to them! than for any which they ha heape upon me. Isaw that these persons feare the *or too much to oppress me as they i! ha they ,nown it. Isaw His han in it! an I felt the pain which they suffere! through the contrariety of their

humors. It is har to concei"e the tenerness which the *or ga"e me for them! an the esirewhich I ha"e ha! with the utmost sincerity! to procure them e"ery sort of a"antage.

After the accient which $efell me =fall from the horse@ from which I soon wonerfullyreco"ere! the e"il $egan to eclare himself more openly mine enemy! to $rea, loose an

$ecome outrageous. One night! when I least thought of it! something "ery monstrous anfrightful presente itself. It seeme a ,in face! which was seen $y a glimmering $lueish light. Iont ,now whether the flame itself compose that horri$le face or appearance# for it was somi+e an passe $y so rapily! that I coul not iscern it. %y soul reste in its calm situationan assurance! an it appeare no more after that manner. As I arose at minight to pray! I hearfrightful noises in my cham$er an after I ha lain own they were still worse. %y $e often

shoo, for a uarter of an hour at a time! an the sashes were all $urst. E"ery morning while thiscontinue! they were foun shattere an torn! yet I felt no fear. I arose an lighte mywa+canle at a lamp which I ,ept in my room! $ecause I ha ta,en the office of sacristan anthe care of wa,ing the sisters at the hour they were to rise! without ha"ing once faile in it formy inispositions! e"er $eing the first in all the o$ser"ances. I mae use of my little light toloo, all o"er the room an at the sashes! at the "ery time the noise was strongest. As he saw thatI was afrai of nothing! he left off all on a suen! an attac,e me no more in person. But hestirre up men against me! an that succeee far $etter with him# for he foun them ispose too what he prompte them to! -ealously! inasmuch as they counte it a goo thing to o me theworst of in5uries.

One of the sisters whom I ha $rought with me! a "ery $eautiful girl! contracte an intimacy

with an ecclesiastic! who ha authority in this place. At first he inspire her with an a"ersion for

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me! $eing well assure that if she place confience in me! I shoul a"ise her not to suffer his"isits so freuently. 2he was unerta,ing a religious retreat. That ecclesiastic was esirous toinuce her to ma,e it! in orer to gain her entire confience! which woul ha"e ser"e as acloa, to his freuent "isits. The Bishop of &ene"a ha gi"en ather *a Com$e for irector toour house. As he was going to cause retreats to $e mae! I esire her to wait for him. As I hagaine some share in her esteem! she su$mitte e"en against her inclination! which was to ha"emae it uner this ecclesiastic. I $egan to tal, to her on the su$5ect of inwar prayer! an rewher into the practice of this uty. Our *or ga"e such a $lessing thereto! that this girl ga"eherself to &o in right earnest! an with her whole heart an the retreat completely won hero"er. 2he then $ecame more reser"e! an on her guar! towar this ecclesiastic! whiche+ceeingly "e+e him. It enrage him $oth against ather *a Com$e an me. This pro"e thesource of the persecutions which afterwar $efell me. The noise in my cham$er! which mayha"e $een trace to him! ene as these commence.

This ecclesiastic $egan to tal, pri"ately of me with much contempt. I ,new it! $ut too, nonotice. There came a certain friar to see him! who mortally hate ather *a Com$e! on account

of his regularity. These com$ine together to force me to uit the house! that they might $ecomemasters of it. All the means they coul e"ise they use for that purpose.

%y manner of life was such! that in the house I i not mele in affairs at all! lea"ing thesisters to ispose of the temporalities as they please. 2oon after my entrance into it I recei"eeighteen hunre li"res! which a lay! a frien of mine! lent me to complete our furniture! whichI ha repai her at my late gi"ing up of my estate. This sum they recei"e! as well as what I ha

$efore gi"en them. I sometimes spo,e a little to those who retire thither to $ecome Catholics.Our *or fa"ore with so much $eneiction what I sai to them! that some! whom they ,newnot $efore what to ma,e of! $ecame sensi$le! soli women! an e+emplary in piety.

I saw crosses in a$unance li,ely to fall to my lot. At the same time these wors came! 3/ho

for the 5oy that was set $efore him enure the cross.6 He$. 1:>:. I prostrate myself for a longtime with my face on the groun! earnestly esiring to recei"e all thy stro,es. Oh! Thou whospare not thine own son4 Thou coulst fin none $ut Him worthy of Thee! an thou still finestin Him hearts proper for thee.

A few ays after my arri"al at &e+! I saw in a sacre an mysterious ream =for as such I "erywell istinguishe it@ ather *a Com$e fastene up to an enormous cross! strippe in li,emanner as they paint our 2a"iour. I saw aroun it a frightful crow! which co"ere me withconfusion! an threw $ac, on me the ignominy of his punishment. He seeme to ha"e most

pain! $ut I more reproaches than he. I ha"e since $ehel this fully accomplishe.

The ecclesiastic won o"er to his party one of our sisters! who was the house7stewar an soonafter the prioress. I was "ery elicate! the goo inclination which I ha i not gi"e strength tomy $oy. I ha two mais to ser"e me# yet! as the community ha nee of one of them for theircoo,! an the other to atten the oor an other occasions! I ga"e them up! not thin,ing $ut theywoul allow them to ser"e me sometimes. Besies this! I let them still recei"e all my income!they ha"ing ha my first half of this years annuity. )et they woul not permit either of mymai7ser"ants! to o anything for me. By my office of sacristan I was o$lige to sweep thechurch! which was large! an they woul not let anyone help me. I ha"e se"eral times fainteo"er the $room an ha"e $een force to rest in corners. This o$lige me to $eg them! that theywoul suffer it sometimes to $e swept $y some of the strong country girls! New Catholics! towhich at last they ha the charity to consent. /hat most em$arrasse me was that I ne"er hawashe. I was now o$lige to wash all the "estry linen. I too, one of my mais to help me!

$ecause in attempting it I ha one up the linen most aw,warly. These sisters pulle her $y the

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arms out of my cham$er! telling her she shoul o her own wor,. I let it uietly pass! withoutma,ing any o$5ection. The other goo sister! the girl I 5ust mentione! grew more an morefer"ent. By the practice of prayer in her eication of herself to the *or she $ecame more anmore tener in her sympathy with me. It irritate this ecclesiastic. After all his impotentattempts here! he went off to Annecy! in orer to sow iscor! an to effect more mischief toather *a Com$e.

CHAPTER D

He went irectly to the Bishop of &ene"a! who till then ha manifeste much esteem an,inness for me. He persuae him! that it woul $e proper to secure me to that house! to o$ligeme to gi"e up to it the annual income I ha reser"e to myself# to engage me thereto! $y ma,ingme prioress. He ha gaine such an ascenancy o"er the Bishop! that the people in the countrycalle him the *ittle Bishop. He rew him to enter heartily an with -eal into this proposition!

an to resol"e to $ring it a$out whate"er it shoul cost.

The ecclesiastic! ha"ing so far carrie his point! an $eing swelle with his success! no longer,ept any measures in regar to me. He $egan with causing all the letters which I sent! an thosewhich were irecte to me! to $e stoppe. That was in orer to ha"e it in his power to ma,ewhat impressions he please on the mins of others! an that I shoul neither $e a$le to ,now it!nor to efen myself! nor to gi"e or sen to my friens any account of the manner in which Iwas treate. One of the mais I ha $rought wante to return. 2he coul ha"e no rest in this

place! the other that remaine was infirm! too much ta,en up $y others to help me in anything.As ather *a Com$e was soon to come! I thought he woul soften the "iolent spirit of this man!an that he woul gi"e me proper a"ice.

In the meantime they propose to me the engagement! an the post of prioress. I answere! thatas to the engagement it was impossi$le for me! since my "ocation was elsewhere. An I coulnot regularly $e the prioress! till after passing through the no"itiate! in which they ha all ser"etwo years $efore their $eing engage. /hen I shoul ha"e one as much! I shoul see how &owoul inspire me. The prioress replie uite tartly! that if I woul e"er lea"e them it were $estfor me to o it immeiately. )et I i not offer to retire! $ut continue still to act as usual. I sawthe s,y graually thic,ening an storms gathering on e"ery sie. The prioress then affecte amiler air. 2he assure me! that she ha a esire! as well as I! to go to &ene"a# that I shoul notengage! $ut only promise her to ta,e her with me! if I went thither. 2he pretene to place agreat confience in me! an professe a high esteem for me. As I am "ery free! an ha"e nothing

$ut uprightness! I let her ,now that I ha no attraction for the manner of life of the New

Catholics! $y reason of the intrigues from without. 2e"eral things i not please me! $ecause Iwante them to $e upright in e"erything. 2he signifie that she i not consent to such things!$ut $ecause that ecclesiastic tol her they were necessary to gi"e the house a creit in istantparts an to raw charities from Paris. I answere that if we wal,e uprightly &o woul ne"erfail us. He woul sooner o miracles for us. I remar,e to her that when! instea of sincerity!they ha recourse to artifice! charity grew col! an ,ept herself shut up. It is &o alone whoinspires charity# how! then! is it to $e rawn $y isguises0

2oon after! ather *a Com$e came a$out the retreats. This was the thir an last time that hecame to &e+. The prioress! after she ha $een tampering a goo eal with me! ha"ing writtenhim a long letter $efore his coming! an recei"e his answer! which she showe me! now wentto as, him whether she woul one ay $e unite to me at &ene"a. He answere with his usual

uprightness! 3Our *or has mae it ,nown to me that you shall ne"er $e esta$lishe at &ene"a.6

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This manner of spea,ing somewhat surprise the ather. He well enough unerstans the rulesof suspension! which is not e+ecute on such things. He replie>

3%y lor! I am reay! not only to suffer the suspension! $ut e"en eath! rather than o anything

against my conscience.6 Ha"ing sai that! he retire.

He irectly sent me this account $y an e+press! to the en that I might ta,e proper measures. Iha no other course to ta,e $ut to retire into a con"ent. I recei"e a letter informing me that thenun to whom I ha entruste my aughter ha fallen sic,! an esiring me to go to her for sometime. I showe this letter to the sisters of our house! telling them that I ha a min to go# $ut ifthey cease to persecute me! an woul lea"e ather *a Com$e in peace! I woul return as soonas the mistress of my aughter shoul $e reco"ere. Instea of this! they persecute me more"iolently! wrote to Paris against me! stoppe all my letters! an sent li$els against me aroun thecountry.

The ay after my arri"al at Tonon! ather *a Com$e set off for the "alley of Aoust! to preach

there in *ent. He ha come to ta,e lea"e of me! an tol me that he shoul go from thence toRome! an perhaps not return! as his superiors might etain him there# that he was sorry to lea"eme in a strange country! without succor! an persecute of e"eryone. I replie! 3%y father! thatgi"es me no pain# I use the creatures for &o! an $y His orer. Through His mercy! I o "erywell without them! when He withraws them. I am "ery well contente ne"er to see you! an toa$ie uner persecution! if such $e His will.6 He sai he woul go well satisfie to see me insuch a isposition! an then eparte.

As soon as I got to the rsulines! a "ery age an pious priest! who for twenty years past hanot come out of his solitue! came to fin me. He tol me that he ha a "ision relati"e to me#that he ha seen a woman in a $oat on the la,e# an that the Bishop of &ene"a! with some of his

priests! e+erte all their efforts to sin, the $oat she was in! an to rown her# that he continuein this "ision a$o"e two hours! with pain of min# that it seeme sometimes as if this womanwere uite rowne! as for some time she uite isappeare# $ut afterwar she appeare again!an reay to escape the anger! while the Bishop ne"er cease to pursue her. This woman wasalways eually calm# $ut he ne"er saw her entirely free from him. rom whence I conclue!ae he! that the Bishop will persecute you without intermission.

I ha an intimate frien! wife of that go"ernor of whom I ha"e mae some mention. As she sawI ha uitte e"erything for &o! she ha a warm esire to follow me. /ith iligence i sheispose of all her effects an settle her affairs in orer to come to me# $ut when she hear of the

persecution! she was iscourage from coming to a place! from whence she thought I shoul $eo$lige to retire. 2oon after she ie.

CHAPTER J

After ather *a Com$e was gone the persecution raise against me $ecame more "iolent. Butthe Bishop of &ene"a still showe me some ci"ilities! as well to try whether he coul pre"ail onme to o what he esire! as to soun out how matters passe in rance! an to pre5uice themins of the people there against me! pre"enting me from recei"ing the letters sent me. Theecclesiastic an his family ha twenty two intercepte letters! opene! on their ta$le. There wasone wherein was sent me a power of attorney to sign! of immeiate conseuence. They wereo$lige to put it uner another co"er! an sen it to me. The $ishop wrote to ather *a %othe!an ha no ifficulty to raw him into his party. He was isplease with me on two accounts.

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irst! that I ha not settle on him a pension! as he e+pecte! an as he tol me "ery roughlyse"eral times. 2econ! I i not ta,e his a"ice in e"erything. He at once eclare against me.The $ishop mae him his confiant. It was he who uttere an sprea a$roa the news a$outme. They imagine! as was suppose! that I woul annul the onation I ha mae! if I returne#that! ha"ing the support of friens in rance! I woul fin the means of $rea,ing it# $ut in thatthey were much mista,en. I ha no thought of lo"ing anything $ut the po"erty of Gesus Christ.or some time yet! the ather acte with caution towar me. He wrote me some letters! whichhe aresse to the Bishop of &ene"a! an they agree so together! that he was the only personfrom whom I recei"e any letters! to which I returne "ery mo"ing answers. He! instea of

$eing touche with them! $ecame only more irritate against me.

The $ishop continue to treat me with a show of respect# yet at the same time he wrote to manypersons in Paris! as i also the sisters of the house! to all those persons of piety who hawritten letters to me! to $ias them as much as possi$le against me. To a"oi the $lame whichought naturally to fall upon them for ha"ing so unworthily treate a person who ha"e gi"en upe"erything to e"ote herself to the ser"ice of that iocese. After I ha one this! an was not in a

conition to return to rance! they treate me e+tremely ill in e"ery respect. There was scarcelyany ,in of false or fa$ulous story! li,ely to gain any creit! which they i not in"ent to cry meown. Besie my ha"ing no way to ma,e the truth ,nown in rance! our *or inspire me witha willingness to suffer e"erything! without 5ustifying myself# so that in my case nothing washear $ut conemnation! without any "inication.

I was in this con"ent! an ha seen ather *a Com$e no further than I ha"e mentione# yet theyi not cease to pu$lish! $oth of him an me! the most scanalous stories# as utterly false asanything coul $e! for he was then a hunre an fifty leagues from me.

or some time I was ignorant of this. As I ,new that all my letters were ,ept from me! I ceaseto woner at recei"ing none. I li"e in this house with my little aughter in a sweet repose!

which was a "ery great fa"or of Pro"ience. %y aughter ha forgotten her rench! an amongthe little girls from the mountains ha contracte a wil loo, an isagreea$le manners. Her wit!sense an 5ugment! were inee surprising! an her isposition e+ceeingly goo. There wereonly some little fits of pee"ishness! which they ha cause to arise in her! through certaincontrarieties out of season! caresses ill applie! an for want of ,nowing the proper manner ofeucation. But the *or pro"ie in regar to her. uring this time my min was preser"ecalm an resigne to &o. Afterwar that goo sister almost continually interrupte me# Ianswere e"erything she esire of me! $oth out of conescension! an from a principle which Iha to o$ey li,e a chil.

/hen I was in my apartment! without any other irector than our *or $y His 2pirit! as soon as

one of my little chilren came to ,noc, at my oor! he reuire me to amit the interruption. Heshowe me that it is not the actions in themsel"es which please Him! $ut the constant reayo$eience to e"ery isco"ery of His will! e"en in the minutest things! with such a suppleness! asnot to stic, to anything! $ut still to turn with Him at e"ery call. %y soul was then! I thought! li,ea leaf! or a feather! which the win mo"es what way soe"er it pleases an the *or ne"er suffersa soul so epenent upon! an eicate to Him! to $e ecei"e.

%ost men appear to me "ery un5ust! when they reaily resign themsel"es to another man! anloo, upon that as pruence. They confie in men who are nothing! an $olly say! 32uch a

person cannot $e ecei"e.6 But if one spea,s of a soul wholly resigne to &o! which followshim faithfully! they cry alou! 3That person is ecei"e with his resignation.6 Oh! i"ine *o"e4ost thou want either strength! fielity! lo"e! or wisom! to conuct those who trust in thee an

who are thy earest chilren0 I ha"e seen men $ol enough to say! 3ollow me! an you shall

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%y soul was in a state of entire resignation an "ery great content! in the mist of such "iolenttempests. Those persons came to tell me a hunre e+tra"agant stories against ather *aCom$e. The more they sai to me to his isa"antage! the more esteem I felt for him. Ianswere them! 3Perhaps

Guyon Autobiography

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Transcript of Guyon Autobiography