The Rules According to JWOWW

Group 14: The Jack Russells

Amanda Dalydalya1@mail.montclair.edu

Taylor Danielsdanielst3@mail.montclair.edu

Elizabeth Culverculvere1@mail.montclair.edu

25 year old Jenni “JWOWW” Farley hails from Franklin Square, NY. She studied computer programming and graphic design, and now owns her own graphic design company called Jenni Farley Designs, Inc. When she was not busy with her business, she was promoting for nightclubs in the tri-state area, the Jersey Shore, and Miami. We know her more prominently as being the tough-as-nails, party girl on MTV’s hit reality series “The Jersey Shore”.

Who is JWOWW?

“Just because I have chosen this lifestyle doesn’t mean that readers should. I am not a role model! The publisher and author advocate safety when it comes to drinking and sex and specifically disclaim any and all liability for any outcomes, consequences, and damages (including property damage, physical injury, or death) that may occur as a result of attempting any of the activities described in this book.”

– Jenni “JWOWW” Farley

A Note to Readers

Written by Jenni “JWOWW” Farley and Sheryl Berk

The rules are guidelines for dating, mating, and whatever comes before, after, and in between.

The rules are designed for women who want to feel empowered; for the single girl; for every woman who has ever been dumped, lied to, and is done with being a doormat.

The Rules According to JWOWW

Rule #1: You Gotta Be In It to Win It.

• “You have to hit the scene and go looking for him” (Jenni Farley, 2011, page 17).

• “Or you could try to find your match online-because anyone halfway decent is gonns hide behind a keyboard and call himself “2Hot4U” (Farley, 2011, page 17).

• “I am a firm believer in real one-to-one personal contact” (Farley, 2011, page 17).

On The Prowl

Over 10 million couples today have met over an internet dating site.

The Internet has become one of the most popular places for people to meet, according to the 2010 large-scale survey How Couples Meet and Stay Together (Conger, 2011).

"Online dating definitely works," said Reuben J. Thomas, an assistant professor of sociology at the City University of New York, who collaborated on the survey. "We estimate that 23% of the couples in the U.S. who met in the two years from 2007 to 2009 met online. More people meet online now than meet through school, work, church, bars, parties, et cetera."

Online dating has opened up many opportunities for those eligible, who don't have a partners available in their everyday lives (Conger, 2011).

The rate of partnering does not seem to be changing, but statistics indicate that online dating has replaced some offline dating outlets (Conger, 2011).

Researchers believe that although online dating sties provide a marketplace to find interesting people to meet, lasting relationships require offline work (Conger, 2011).

Does Online Dating Work?

Rule #9: It’s okay for a woman to make the first move.

◦ “Some guys will be totally turned on by a woman who sees what she likes and goes after it.” (Farley, 2011, pg.35)

◦ “Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You don’t have to pounce on the guy – just sneak up next to him on the dance floor or walk over to where he’s standing and say ‘Hi.’” (Farley, 2011, pg.35)

◦ “Ask him about himself. Guys LOVE to talk about themselves; most will do it all night if they have a captive audience.” (Farley, 2011, pg.35)

On The Prowl

• JWOWW agrees with both Dwayne and Ora, Come and Talk to Me in Essence (2007), that many guys like when a woman approached them and makes the first move. Out of the 692 college students surveyed, 39.1% they had asked a guy out; while 60.9% had not done so.

• Many of the men interviewed said they would be impressed if a women came up to their table and made the first move.

• Is this author properly trained? • She graduated from high school, but did not attend

college.

Is It Okay For Women To Approach Men First?

Research says YES!Put yourself out there.

Rule #18: Make Him Pay.

◦ “If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab. No cheap bastard makes a good boyfriend.” (Farley, 2011, pg. 69)

◦ “Even though it’s 2011, that doesn’t mean a guy can’t pay for dinner. Besides, guys like to pay. It makes them feel more powerful and in control.” (Farley, 2011, pg. 69)

◦ “Drop a hint and see if he gets it; it shows that he is paying attention to you and cares. So if you say ‘I love teddy bears,” you better receive a freakin’ teddy sooner rather than later.” (Farley, 2011, pg. 70)

Dating

According to CNN’s Judy McGuire in her article Dating Rules: Who Should Pay and When, she says that when it comes to the first date “he (or she) who asks, pays”. (McGuire, 2009)

Most women she spoke to thought she was an idiot and felt that men should always pay.

She suggests always leaving the house with enough money to cover your share just incase.

Her colleague, Jennifer Kelton, established her opinion in the article as well stating that “being cheap is never attractive and I would say that after more than four dates the woman should pay the tip.” (McGuire, 2009)

Should He Really Pay?

MSNBC’s Jasmin Aline Persch worked with Elle Magazine to survey 74,000 online readers for her article It’s Complicated: Who Pays on Dates.

Results◦ About 2/3 of men, especially younger ones, want a woman to chip in after a

few dates.◦ 44% of women are bothered if the man asks them to help pay.◦ 57% of women, especially younger ones, offer to pay. This is even on the first

date!◦ However, 34% of them are bothered if the man accepts and 46% are bothered

if he refuses.

“A gal worries that a guy who never lets her pay might be controlling. Gals also worry that a guy who expects her to pay might be a cheapskate, doesn’t like her or isn’t gentlemanly. But a guy also worries when a gal always relies on his wallet.” (Persch, 2008)

Should He Really Pay?

Both articles say NO! Take turns or split the tab.

Rule 22: In a Guy’s Mind, Monogamy Equals Monotony.

• Guys hate feeling trapped in a routine, and for many that is why they cheat.

• Advice: constantly switch things up.

• Surprise him with a vacation or a day out doing something new or out of the ordinary.

• Go where the moment takes you, and unexpected moments will make your relationship last.

Relationships

• This research study gathered data from 220 undergraduate students (67 men, 153 women) at at a southwestern University, to investigate reasons for faithfulness and unfaithfulness in relationships.

• For both men and women, they believed having sex earlier in a relationship and having been cheated on, predicted the likelihood of cheating if one could get away with it. (similar to JWOWW)

• Participants revealed 500 reasons to remain faithful to their partner, and over 1,000 reasons to cheat.

Article: Reasons for (Non)engagement Infidelity,(2010).

Reference: Emmers-Sommer, T. M., Warber, K., & Halford, J. (2010). Reasons for (Non)engagement in Infidelity. Marriage & Family Review, 46(6/7), 420-444. doi:10.1080/01494929.2010.528707

Supraordinate categories: Reasons for being Faithful n

Satisfaction 263Don’t want to hurt partner/self 85 Character/disposition 70Commitment Investment 34 Few/no alternatives 19Social norms/sanctions 13

Total 508

Supraordinate categories: Reasons for being unfaithful n Lack of satisfaction 336Better alternatives 125Character/disposition 101Revenge 71Sexual drive/desire 67Risk/excitement 53Intoxication 50Lack of commitment 37Lack of investment 35Ability 27Wish to exit relationship 20Long distance relationship 16Don’t trust partner 9Other (miscellaneous) 55

Total 1,002

TABLE 6 Reasons Why Individuals Are faithful and Unfaithful

• The author collected the majority of data used in the book from her own personal experiences.

• The author also responded to letters sent in from different people who are seeking relationship advice based on their specific situation.

How Was the Data Collected?

• When it came to online dating, JWOWW does not think online dating works. She believes in face-to-face contact to build a relationships.

• The research we found both agrees and disagrees with JWOWW.

• Although online dating is more convenient and popular today to shop around for a partner, more offline contact is required to build a lasting relationship.

Discussion/Conclusion

Research agrees with JWOWW that is definitely okay for women to make the first move. A lot of men find it attractive because it shows a woman’s confidence.

When it comes to paying for everything, research does not agree with JWOWW. The man should not pay for everything in a relationship or even when just dating. The two people involved should share the expenses.

Research also agrees that switching things up is good in a relationship.

Discussion/Conclusion

YES! While watching the show The Jersey Shore and reading about JWOWW, you notice that she really does put all of her rules into effect.

What does that get her? Her most recent boyfriend of about 8 months, Roger (who she nicknamed as “Perfection” in her book).

Does JWOWW Use Her Own Rules?

We believe this book to be helpful for young adults(ages18-30) who are seeking dating advice.

JWOWW’s rules are targeted for a specific audience, who can relate to her fast pace lifestyle.

Is This Book Helpful?

Author targets specific age group.

Rules based on author’s own personal experience and opinions of friends.

◦ Rules do not relate to other ethnics groups; “Maybe my guidelines are a little Guidette-harsh”.

◦ Reflects “Italian-American” lifestyle.

Rules are from a women’s point of view.

The vocabulary used in the book is compromised.

Book Limitations

1. Today, how many couples met over an internet dating site?◦ A. 300◦ B. 1,000◦ C. 70,000◦ D. Over 10 million

2. True or false. Most men find it attractive when a woman approaches them first.◦ A. True◦ B. False

3. What percentage of woman offer to pay while on a date?◦ A. 75%◦ B. 20%◦ C. 57%◦ D. None

Exam Questions

1. Today, how many couples met over an internet dating site?◦ A. 300◦ B. 1,000◦ C. 70,000◦ D. Over 10 million

2. True or false. Most men find it attractive when a woman approaches them first.◦ A. True◦ B. False

3. What percentage of woman offer to pay while on a date?◦ A. 75%◦ B. 20%◦ C. 57%◦ D. None

Exam Questions

1. Today, how many couples met over an internet dating site?◦ A. 300◦ B. 1,000◦ C. 70,000◦ D. Over 10 million

2. True or false. Most men find it attractive when a woman approaches them first.◦ A. True◦ B. False

3. What percentage of woman offer to pay while on a date?◦ A. 75%◦ B. 20%◦ C. 57%◦ D. None

Exam Questions

1. Today, how many couples met over an internet dating site?◦ A. 300◦ B. 1,000◦ C. 70,000◦ D. Over 10 million

2. True or false. Most men find it attractive when a woman approaches them first.◦ A. True◦ B. False

3. What percentage of woman offer to pay while on a date?◦ A. 75%◦ B. 20%◦ C. 57%◦ D. None

Exam Questions

• Conger, C. (2011, February 12). Does online dating work? Retrieved from: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/online-dating-work/story?id=12896317.

• Emmers-Sommer, T. M., Warber, K., & Halford, J. (2010). Reasons for (non)engagement in infidelity. Marriage & Family Review, 46(6/7), 420-444. doi:10.1080/01494929.2010.528707

• McGuire, J. (2009, February 19). Dating Rules: Who Should Pay and When. Retrieved April 19, 2011, from cnn.com website: http://articles.cnn.com/2009-02-19/living/tf.how.not.talk.about.money_1_dating-rules-first-date-pay/2?_s=PM:LIVING

• Persch, J.A. (2008, March 07). It's complicated: who pays on dates. msnbc.com, Retrieved from http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23244363/

References