Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

download Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

of 40

  • date post

    03-Jun-2018
  • Category

    Documents

  • view

    262
  • download

    0

Embed Size (px)

Transcript of Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    1/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    In your hour of grief

    Inspiring articles and Life Coaching at-

    www.itakeoffthemask.com By: Jocelyn . !oriano

    ll rights reser"ed. Copyright #y Jocelyn . !oriano

    $I walked in the garden of life% caressing softpetals here and there. nd lo& fter a while theyare no more% and my heart #led for each

    fragrant petal that fell. If e"ery flower withers%ne"er to return to its full #lossom% then whatgood indeed is passing #y in the garden of life'(

    )erein lies my hope: *hat for e"ery flower that

    withers% another one #looms within me% one thatwill remain fore"er fragrant and fresh% ne"ere"er to pass away

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    2/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    Contents +oem of one grie"ing the loss of a lo"ed

    one ,rie"ing the loss of a lo"ed one I ill !mile gain hen you re in pain *ime for Joy hy is my cross hea"ier' Birth pains )ow do you carry your cross' *he !kill of Catching Joy )ow do you sa"e someone who is lost in

    the dark' hat do you see in the eyes of sorrow' +rayer of Letting ,o

    Let ,o hen ,od +rays Be !till *he Mission of Little Children /01cerpt

    from $ Crown of *horns(2

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    3/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    +oem of 3ne ,rie"ing the Lossof a Lo"ed 3ne where would you go that i cannot follow? for how long must i wait until we meet again? what would i do in times that i miss you? where would i go in times when i long to see you again? how must i spend the nights without you? how do i bear each morning that you're not there? shall i ever smile again? will i ever laugh again? will i ever face the world again knowing that im not alone? why must you leave me? why must i cry these tears when you're not here to wipe them all away? why must i suffer the empty days without my beloved? why must i dream without you by my side? the days shall never be the same again i will never be the same again

    without you

    the life of my soul, the joy of my heart, the light in my eyes, the hope of my dreams, the comfort of my lonely nights, without you my beloved, i grieve and cry, i grope and stumble in the dark, i weep with all my soul i desire with all my heart i let go of all of me that you took away with you

    i keep all of you that is in me, and will always remain in me wherever i may go

    i wait and pray and hope i will look forward to each brand new day thankful for all that i've had and will always have thankful for the sun that shines again believing and hanging on believing that life will go on it can't help but go on it shall go on and in so going there really is no end only mornings and evenings and life that never ever ends.

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    4/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    ,4I05I6, *)0 L3!! 37 L3508 360

    When my grandfather died, the first question that crossedmy mind was, "Shall we ever, as a family, be able tosmile again?

    He was a very kind man, a sweet and loving man who alsohappened to be a retired Captain of the Armed Forces of thePhilippines, a proud veteran of the !AFF" in World War ##$# loved him % very much, and regarded him as my very ownfather$ He used to carry me up his shoulders when # wasbut a little girl$ # never saw him mad$ He was always calm

    and gentle, but with that certain kind of strength in him thatnever needed to be boasted about anymore$ &aybe thiskind of admiration was the source of my childhood dream ofbeing a lady cadette officer$ Well, # didn't reali(e thatdream, but in my heart # knew #'ve acquired that kind ofcourage he had, and it sort of stayed with me through theyears$

    # also admired the kind of love he cherished with my)randma$ !omething that lasted for fifty golden years, the*+th year being the year of his demise$ # often told myselfthat theirs was the kind of marriage # fervently pray to have% simple, sincere, lasting, abounding in love, courage andunderstanding$ he day my )randpa died, my heart broke,not only for my own grief, but for the grief of seeing such ablessed marriage come to a sudden end right before myeyes$

    How indeed are we going to go about our lives after hispassing- How do we spend our late evenings without hisstories- How do we celebrate Christmas without his .ollysmile-

    he seat he occupied at dinner will remain vacantthereafter$ he sight of him and )randma embracing eachother after a petty quarrel will be nothing more but a sweetmemory to look back to$

    he funny thing was, # never really considered him old$ Hehad always been strong and healthy and happy$ # thoughthe'd always be there, for me, for my )randma, for everyonewho has ever gotten to know the wonderful person he is$/ut # guess death is like that$ #t takes from you in aninstant the people you've cherrished for a whole lifetime$0ust like that$ As simple as that$ And you are suddenly leftwith two things1 anger for having been deprived of yourbeloved for no reason at all2 and emptiness, a vacuum thatgnaws right at your heart where all the .oyful momentsonce had been$

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    5/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    And how will it be for people who have lost not only theirfathers, but mothers, children, both parents, lifetimepartners who spent their lives through thick and thin, whodreamt together and .ourneyed together and found meaningin each other's lives-

    How are we to begin grieving for them- Where could weever find the tears to weep, tears that will pour out and cryin behalf of our torn and shattered hearts-

    1. Cry

    Find those tears$ ry to let them out however painful theprocess is$ 3et them out$ 3et them pour showers that willcleanse away every bit of darkness and bitterness from yourheart$

    !hy not from crying out aloud$ 4ou have every right to beheard, and all the right to be hurt$ 5o one's going to standin your way even if you wail$ 3et your cries rise up to theclouds, unto the ears of heaven who understand whatsorrow mortal men go through in this valley of tears$

    Cry for the pain of parting$ Cry for the sad mornings thatwill greet you without your lover's arms$ Cry for the wordsthat shall remain unspoken and unheard$ Cry for the placesyou will never be able to walk together anymore$ Cry for thedreams that will remain as dreams$ Cry for the memoriesthat will remain as memories$ Cry for the hand that can no

    longer caress you$ Cry for those eyes that can no longer see

    your tears$

    Cry your heart out$ /ecause the truth is % it hurts, and itreally hurts so much6

    2. Forgive

    here are many things we don't want to admit in times likethese2 things we believe would only dishonor the memory ofour loved one, or things that would dishonor us before theirmemory$ /ut unless we deal with these things, we wouldalways be burdened by things that should have been buriedwith passing of our loved ones$

    a. Forgiving our loved ones

    People are not perfect$ 5o matter how much we love themor no matter how good they are, they may have hurt us atone point or another$ hey may have .udged us anddisappointed us$ We have to admit how they failed us, andthen forgive them with a forgiveness that comes out of thegenerosity of our hearts$ We know that we do not have time

    anymore, we can no longer wait for them to see their faultsand ask our forgiveness$ !o we forgive them$ We let themgo with no bitterness in our hearts$

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    6/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    b. Forgiving ourselves

    When our loved ones pass away, there is always a feeling ofguilt left in us % how we haven't loved them enough, how wecould've saved them, how we could've made them happier$/ut when we come to think of it, how much more could wehave really done though- "ven if we could've made adifference, could we be able to turn back the hands of time-

    Forgive yourself$ Admit your faults, go to confession, slapyour face hard, observe fasting for a week, shave your headeven6 /ut don't punish yourself forever for being unable tomake the proper retribution$ 4ou can no longer do that$ #t'snot your fault anymore$ /laming yourself could never earnfor you the forgiveness you so desire$ #f you can't becontent in praying for forgiveness alone, if you really believeyou still have to do something to be forgiven, then do this %love those people still within your reach$ 7o this, and you'dhave earned more than forgiveness2 you'd have loved$ 3oveheals$ 3ove forgives$

    3. eal with the !ain one day at a time

    )rieving for our loved ones who passed away is probablyone of the most painful things we'll e8perience in life$ 7ealwith it one short day at a time$ 7on't think of the whole 9*or *+ years ahead of you$ 0ust think of today, and of all thesupport being given you .ust where you are$ #t is times likethese when we get to know who our true friends are, people

    willing to e8tend their hands and their hearts to help see

    you through$ Accept the help given you, and you'll make ittoday$

    . #onor$ treasure their memory

    &any people will suggest to you to move on, which is a finething$ #n the process though, they may also urge you toforget all about the past, and start letting go$ 5ow letting gois not such a bad thing, it could mean giving up all ourunreali(able e8pectations and all of the things we cannot doanymore$ /ut to forget all things completely % to do sowould be to start cheating on our true feelings for ourbeloved who passed away$

    We can't .ust act like we had amnesia all of a sudden$ Wecan't pretend that the things that happened didn't happen,and that the precious moments we've spent with our lovedones don't mean anything to us anymore$ !omethinghappened in the past$ !ouls touched in the past$ 3iveschanged$ !ouls were inspired$

    :ur grief is only amplified with the thought that we are

    forever parting with every remaining essence of our lovedones$ hat's what makes our mourning even worse, tobelieve that we are forever losing that part of our lives thatchanged us and made us happy$ 7on't throw it all away$When inspiration comes upon you, they need not leave$

    hey never leave$ hey inspire us forever$

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    7/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    When my )randpa died, # thought it was the end of thewonderful love he had with )randma$ /ut # was wrong$ #tdid not end there$ #t cannot be ended that way$ p to thismoment, # am still a witness on how true love is kept alivein the hearts and minds of those who carry on the radianceof its warmth$

    %. &hin' of the lega(y they left behind

    #'ve always thought that when our loved ones go away, theytake a part of ourselves with them$ #t's like a part of uswithers away and dies$ We feel like an arm or a leg had .ustbeen taken away and we can never be whole again$ We feelwe are lesser people than we used to be$ We then wonderwhy people had to meet at all only to be separated in theend, only to feel broken and incomplete$

    /ut then #'ve also learned that when people become part ofeach other's lives, their lives become richer from the wholenew world opened before them by one another$ hey gain anew perspective, they get a deeper understanding ofthemselves, they learn new skills and hobbies, they discovernew places, they get to love a new song$ "ach one leaves a

    mark, a precious legacy, a part of their very selves to thepeople they love$

    "ven after their lives together had ended, even after onehas gone and passed away, that part they have given to uswill remain$ /ecause when people become a part of us, a

    part of their own souls remain in us, forever enriching us,

    and we are never the same as before$

    &y )randpa had been gone for ;< years now, but the thingshe left me, the imprint he left in my soul will always bethere, guiding me through my .ourney ahead$ 3ove ofcountry, courage, dignity, love of family % these are thethings # will always be thankful for$

    ). S(hedule a(tivities that hel! vent out youremotions

    4ou cried, you wept, you wailed$ /ut as you miss your lovedone more painfully with the passing of each day, you feelthe emotions within you continue to surge, emotions thatneed to find a proper outlet to let go$

    Schedule those activities with a friend that willencourage you to perform them:

    %Play badminton, let go of all the hurts you feel everytimeyou hit the shuttlecock$ Hit it hard6 Hit it as far as you can$%=un the treadmill$ "verytime you feel the urge to escape,walk tirelessly$ Walk like you never walked before$ =un$ =un

    and release the pain you keep within you$%!wim, imagine your tears being washed away$ 7o yourmost powerful strokes, and glide away from all thee8pectations the world thrusts upon your shoulders$ 0ustmake sure a trusted friend and lifeguard is watching overyou, okey-

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    8/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    %)rab a crayon and a sketch pad$ 7raw the abtract feelings

    you can't and don't want to decipher at the moment$ 7rawin hard wild strokes$ hen tear the sheet in pieces$

    *. +e!lenish your soul

    :nce the strong feelings begin to subside, replenish yoursoul with activities that promote peace, wholeness and afresh beginning$

    %Plant a seed and watch the new plant emerge from theground from which it was buried$% ake care of a chick and help it grow into a hen$ 4ou caneven en.oy the eggs she will lay for you later6%Watch a sunrise with a trusted buddy$ !ee how darknesstransforms into a magnificent rising of a brand new day$% ravel somewhere you've never been to$ )et to know thelocals and try to en.oy their way of life$

    . -ive yourself time to ad ust and re(over

    #t will take time for you to carry on your usual routines eachday$ 0ust be patient with yourself$ :ne day survived is oneday of battle won$ he more days you suvive, the more

    confidence you will gain that you will make it$

    #f it's really difficult for you, you can try to write letters toyour loved one as though you were only miles away$

    his will help you cope with the abrupt change of suddenlynot being able to talk with your loved one$ his will also

    help keep your life in check as you literally report what

    you're doing with your life$

    /. &hin' of the lega(y you wish to leave behind

    he torch has been passed on to you$ 4our life has beenmade richer by the legacy you received$ What do you donow with what you have- What legacy do you want to leavebehind to the people that matter most to you now-=emember that you are now a different person by havingbeen a part of someone's life$ "verything you do, anydifference that you make in this life is not only because ofyou, but also because of the one who loved you$ When youleave your mark unto this world, you leave a mark formedalso by every person that truly touched your life$

    10. elieve that -od will see you through

    )od knows your grief$ He weeps with you$ He hopes withyou$ He cares for you so much that He willingly died for youto conquer death forever and to give you the perfect andeternal life He wants you to en.oy$ hings have not endedhere$ hey have only .ust begun$ ake heart6 He will seeyou through$ #t is 0esus Himself who said, > he girl is not

    dead but asleep$> ?&atthew @19 B

    When my Grandpa died, I used to doubt whether wecan still smile again, now I know the answer: WE C !

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    9/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    $ I Will Smile gain...!

    I will smile again "hough tears flow from these eyes

    I will smile again nd trust tomorrow the sun shall rise

    "hough darkness may enfold me "hough heavy rain can#t help but pour

    "hough shattered, lost and broken "hough heart could barely bear it all

    "hough tired and weary and confused "hough badly hurt and bruised I know that I will smile again

    nd I will smile again$

    %ou will smile again$

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    10/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    &W () %*+# ( I) - I)! &%es, I understand why things had to happen this way. Iunderstand his reason for causing me pain. ut mereunderstanding does not chase away the hurt. It does notcall upon the sun when dark clouds have loomed over me./et the rain come then if it must come$ nd let it washaway the dust that hurt my eyes$!

    "here are times when life suddenly casts a shadow before

    us0 we suffer for sins we did not even commit, we gothrough situations we certainly do not deserve to be in. Insuch times, we have so many 1uestions throbbing at theback of our minds, but the biggest of them all is &W %?!

    We want to know the reason why we had to go throughsuch e2cruciating pain. We want to know why we were notable to do anything to prevent the terrible things thathappened. We want to know why 3od failed us, why e letus down at the time we needed im most.

    %et even after we are able to answer these 1uestions, the pain remains, life stands still, and we can do nothing butwait 4til everything#s over, until we can move on again likewe used to, when our hearts weren#t shattered yet into thethousand lonely pieces they broke into. We then come into

    answering our second biggest 1uestion, and that is

    & *W?!

    ow do we deal with the awful feeling of brokenness?ow do we start to move on? ow on earth are we ever

    going to smile again?

    /ike many people, I#ve been through dark and painfulmoments in my life as well, moments I wanted to skip,moments when what I really wanted the most is to havemy own time machine so I can either go back where I washappy, or fast forward anywhere in the future where I canfind myself again. ut no machine like that has ever beeninvented yet, and the only way to move from the terrible

    place where I stand is to go through the dark tunnelahead that will lead me towards the new beginning I#mlooking forward to.

    If you#re willing to go through that dark tunnel with me,let us begin. /et us try to answer the only 1uestion thatcan lead us into a better place. ow indeed can we everdeal with our grief?

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    11/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    1. ((e!t the (hallenge and do my best.

    We can never move on anywhere unless we acknowledgewhere we stand at the moment$ Acceptance is the shortestroute to peace$ Acceptance will help you let go of yourWH4s so you can start focusing on your H:Ws$ Accept thatthings have already happened$ Accept that you can donothing to turn back the hands of time to undo everythingthat s already been done$ 4ou can blame everyone, you canblame )od, you can even blame yourself but that wouldnever change your situation$ hat would never help you getout of the pit that you re in, the suffering you re goingthrough$ Find the way to acceptance, and you can begin tofind the strength and the will to move on$

    2. +est when (an no longer (arry on.

    #t is a good thing to cry and mourn for your sorrows$ #t isgood to release your tears, your anger, your pent%upemotions$ /ut there are limits to our powers, to our physicaland emotional strength as human beings$ We need enoughtime to rest in order to renew our strength so we can have abetter cry ne8t time$ Have enough sleep$ Force yourself to

    watch television or buy groceries and give yourself a break$ry to forget your troubles even if only for an hour or so$hat way, you do not e8haust yourself to the point where

    you no longer have enough strength to face the challengesof the coming day$ =eserve some of your strength until youare able to make it through$

    3. &a'e (omfort in -od4s greatness, love and strength.

    &any people may critici(e me for this$ /ut those who knewtorment and have survived from it a better personunderstand the comfort of knowing someone is therelistening to you, someone who understands you, all thosehurts you re going through$ !omeone who doesn t .udgeyou or condemn you, .ust someone who loves you andtrusts you that if you will only hang in there a minute more,you shall surely make it through$

    #t may be quite ironic, but # have found my greatest .oy inthe arms of my )od in my darkest hour$ # felt him huggingme, comforting me, crying with me$ He didn t .ust watchme$ He didn t scold me and reprimanded me to get up andbe strong and stop being such a fool$ He cried with me$ Heknew my pain and he claimed it as though it were His own$

    . ear the !ain and be !atient.

    his seems to be the hardest part of all$ Pain is pain andsuffering is suffering$ here is no pill or any kind ofpainkiller that we can take to prevent us from feeling our

    hurts$ We have to bear it head on and cling to the thoughtthat things will definitely change for the better$

    D# have deep sorrow today, and an unclear vision of thefuture$ /ut nobody ever died of loneliness E only ofhopelessness6 As long as # have hope, no problem is ever

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    12/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    too difficult, no night ever so dark that it can prevent the

    rising of another day6

    here are times when we are so lost in the dark that nomatter how hard we try to find our way, we find not theroads we re looking for2 no matter how desperately weseek, we grasp not the answers, and we continue to gropein the shadow of the night$

    /ut faint not, and fear not the voices that creep in the dark$For in your hour of need, help shall come upon you$ #n yourmoments of greatest fear, a flame of hope shall arise andgive you peace$ he night is short and the voices will soonfade away$ 7arkness shall falter and surrender to a brandnew day$

    ake heart2 stand firmly and strong, for it will not be longbefore the awaited dawn$

    %. 5hen it is time, sto! dwelling on the !ain

    here are times when the pain finally subsides, and we aregiven a chance to move on a notch higher$ Finally, we have

    the chance to break free from our pain$ he problemhowever is that many of us choose to cling to our hurts$ Welet the pain linger longer than they should$ &aybe we got soused to it, we don t know anymore what we re going to dowithout it$ &aybe we feel mad at ourselves and we chooseto punish ourselves for the things we thought we did wrong$

    &aybe we re mad at someone else and we want to punish

    him by punishing ourselves$ Whatever it is, it will not helpyou find your path to living the full life you should be living$3et it go$ 3et go of your pain and move on$

    ). 6ive from day to day. 7r if that is too long, frommoment to moment.

    here are some wounds that take a longer time to heal thanothers, and there are some hurts that take a while longer tosubside$ he important thing is that we stay afloat one day,one moment at a time$ 7on t think of how hard the wholeprocess is going to be, you ll go nuts doing that6 7on t thinkof all the lonely days ahead of you$ hey haven t evenarrived yet6 0ust think of the moment$ #f you can live andmake it for the moment, that is all that is needed to make itthrough$

    *. Claim the strength -od gives me to rise above thesituation.

    here is a strength )od gives you in times when yourstrength is no longer enough$ However you may call Him,there is a Higher Power that will see you through$ # ve

    received it$ # ve felt it coming .ust in time when # can nolonger see how # m going to carry on$ hat is why we shouldnever compare our strength with the weight of ourproblems$ We d probably make a wrong estimate doingthat6 here is a strength that comes to you to help you

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    13/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    overcome whatever you re going through$ Wait for it6 #t will

    certainly come and will not delay$

    . 6earn everything (an from the !ro(ess.

    When we re in pain, we seldom reali(e what lessons we canlearn from the process$ hough it is quite understandablewhy we do not give attention to things like that in times ofgrief, the truth remains that we do learn many things duringour darkest hour$ #t is a time when everything we know andhave ever learned are being challenged in an instant$ #t is atime when we come to reali(e what it is we value the mostin life$ #t is a time when we get to understand other peoplebetter$ 3et us take advantage of those times when we seethings more clearly than we ever saw them before$

    /. 8rote(t my oy at all times.

    !ounds cra(y doesn t it- his thing you can ignore if youwant to, but # believe that .oy and sorrow can definitelye8ist at the same time$ 4es, we are hurt$ 4es, we re broken$/ut yes, we know we re going to make it$ And yes, we knowwe ll get out of it better persons than we used to be$!omewhere in our hearts, there is a chamber of .oy that

    should remain intact, untouched, forever guiding us in ourmost troublesome paths$

    #t is indeed a painful thing to grow, but afterwards, you willbe glad that you have undergone the process$ 4ou will feelstronger$ 4ou will feel like you have .ust been released from

    your self%made prison$ 4ou will carry with you the .oy of

    )od being there for you, comforting you in your darkesthour$ 4ou will have greater confidence as you learn moreabout the true beauty that lies within you$ And you willmove forward in life with greater strides knowing that thethings which have caused you pain could no longer touchyou and torment you the way it did before$ 4ou will overflowin spirit reali(ing that you have .ust risen from your formerhori(on and moved on to greater heights$ And you will lookforward to His guiding hand that will carry you farther fromone )od%destined glory to the ne8t

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    14/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    5ore inspiring articles atwww.itakeoffthemask.com

    For 6ife Coa(hing,(onta(t 9o(elyn Soriano at

    ita'eoffthemas':yahoo.(om

    A TIME FOR JOY

    his may not be a time for dances,but this is a time for prayer$

    his may not be a time for clapping,but this is a time for songs$

    his may not be a time for merriment,

    but this is a time for awakening$his may not be a time for running,

    but this is a time for rest$

    his may not be a time for kisses,but this is a time for hugs$

    his may not be a time for laughter,but this is a time for smiles$

    his may not be a time for parties,this may not be a time for noise,/ut this is a time for healing,

    and this is a time for .oy6

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    15/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    W % IS 5% 6 *SS ( 7I( ?

    Have you ever felt those times when the cross you'recarrying seems heavier than it should be- &uch heavierthan you can bear- &uch heavier than the crosses otherpeople are carrying-

    :ur crosses it seems, vary greatly in the burden and thedifficulties they inflict upon us$ Why do some crosses appearto be far easier- And why do some appear to be so huge,our trust upon )od's wisdom and .ustice is already shakento its very core-

    We see rich, beautiful people whose only problem it seems,are the ne8t orders they're going to pick from the menu$And then we see beggars who don't even have a place tosleep at when night falls$ We see celebrities gambling loadsof money in a casino$ And then we see parents doing back%breaking work day after day, .ust so they could send theirchildren to school$ We see politicians squandering thewealth of the nation, and getting credit for the small portionof funds spent in useless undertakings$ And then we seecancer victims, fighting for their ne8t breath, not knowingwhere in )od's hands they're going to get the amountneeded to provide for the family they're going to leavebehind$

    Where indeed is fairness in this life- Where is the easy yokewe have been promised to bear- #s )od already playing

    favorites here-

    :ftentimes, when people start asking these questions, theonly response they get is something like one of these1

    D)od works in mysterious ways$ D!top that6 4ou're doubting )od's wisdom$ D!ee- here is really no )od who guides His people$ "itherHe isn't real, or He isn't really good$

    # would not be content with those answers though$ heremust be some answers more satisfying than those$Following are some of the answers # believe in1

    1. 5e don;t really 'now the burden !eo!le are(arrying within

    People may appear happy on the outside, but they mayactually be crying terribly within$ However well%off theyappear to be, secret hurts may .ust be tearing them apart$

    5ever ever believe instantly the e8ternal strengths you see,the smiles that greet your eyes$ For sometimes beneaththose smiles are tears, and beneath that strength is ayearning to break out and to be understood$

    7o we see people who earn more in a day what we couldpossibly earn in a year- 7o we see people who look sohappily established in their married lives- 7o we see healthypeople who can do whatever they want to do be it mountainclimbing or spelunking or sky diving- 7o we see them and

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    16/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    envy them and wish so hard we were the ones in their

    shoes-he fact is, there are some things we don t really see$ We

    don t see the sad children whose parents are so busyworking their way up the corporate ladder$ We don t seelonely wives who have lost their self worth and sunk untothe everyday routine they needed to keep$ We don t seeconsciences being seared .ust so money can be earned andambitions can be reached$ We don t see hearts crying out inloneliness amidst all the e8ternal blessings the worldbelieves them to possess$

    We don t see many things$ !urely not the things peoplewanted to hide$ hey are the only ones who know the trueweight of their crosses, and there is no way we couldpossibly get in their shoes in order to make a faircomparison with the burdens we carry upon our shoulders$

    2. 5e sometimes (arry (rosses that are not reallyours

    #f you feel you re carrying so much more burden than youcould possibly bear, pause for a while and ponder whether

    the cross you re carrying is your own cross and not anotherone s burden$

    Ask youself, D#s this cross the one )od really wants me tobear- :r is this suffering something # have only insisted oninflicting upon myself-

    here are many crosses we insist on carrying, loads we arenot suppose to carry in the first place$ 7ue to ourstubborness however, we refuse to let it go$

    We refuse to forgive the people who have hurt us, becausewe do not believe they deserve to be forgiven$ We refuse toforget our past wounds because we want to get even withthose who have caused us pain$ We refuse to lay ourburdens to )od because we don t trust Him enough tobelieve everything will be taken care of$ !ometimes weeven refuse to let other people carry their own crossesbecause we believe we are the only ones capable of doingthe right thing$

    Carry only your own cross, my friend$ hat is all that isasked of you$

    3. 5e do not see that our (rosses are in !ro!ortion tothe strength given us

    We may be carrying a far bigger cross upon our shoulders,but have we ever cared to know the resources given us tobe able to carry that cross- We were so busy comparing the

    si(e of our crosses with our neighbors , but have we evercared to compare the strength we have with the strengththat they possess-

    &y friend, the cross given you is in direct proportion to yourstrength$ he pain you bear is in direct proportion to the

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    17/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    tolerance that you possess$ We may be carrying different

    kinds of burdens, but we cannot really say that the difficultywe encounter are far different from the troubles others aregoing through$

    Are you in pain- !o am #$ Were you hurt- !o have #$ /utyou can never say you were more hurt than # have beenbecause you have never ever been me, not even for a singlemoment$ 4ou do not have my weaknesses$ 4ou do not havemy strengths$ # do not have the wealth of your previouse8periences$ And # do not have the people who support youin your hour of need$

    !top comparing one another s crosses, because in truth,there is no way that we can really be able to compare them$

    . 5e do not avail of the unlimited strength beingoffered by -od to hel! us (arry our (ross

    here are many times when all that we can see are thehuge crosses we carry upon our shoulders$ We see howweak we are$ We see how tired and e8hausted we havebeen$ /ut we do not see )od s hand reaching out to help us$We do not see the strength being offered us when our own

    powers are no longer enough$

    &aybe our financial condition is .ust enough to feed onechild, but .ust when we re least e8pecting it, another onecomes along contrary to what we have planned$ &aybe wefeel so alone, and the only person who has ever been there

    to support us suddenly leaves, never ever to return$ We feel

    helpless and broken$ And we do not have the strengthanymore to face the challenges that come our way$

    #t is during these times that we should keep our hopes upand believe that a Higher Power will see us through$ Helpwill come .ust in time, .ust when we needed it, .ust when wehave given our last ounce of strength$

    4ou may think of how limited your resources are at themoment, but a better opportunity may already be on itsway$ 4ou may think you ve lost everyone who has evercared for you, and yet the one who will love you like you venever been loved before may .ust be standing outside thedoor, knocking, hoping you wouild .ust open the door andlet him in$

    here is a )od who watches over us, and who sends Hisangels before us to guard us and to guide us along the pathHe has prepared for us$ He will never let us down$ He willnot give us crosses too heavy for us to bear$ And .ust whenwe think our crosses are getting bigger, He will give usmore strength, more power than we believed we could everpossess$ !o .ust hang in there a minute more$ Hope$

    /elieve in miracles$ hey still come true, you know$

    %. 5e see no !ur!ose in (arrying our (rosses

    hen 0esus said to his discipled, >#f any of you want to comewith me, you must forget yourself, carry your cross, and

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    18/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    follow me$ ?&atthew ;

  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    19/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    & I " - I)S!

    !ometimes # wonder why we have to undergo living in animperfect world such as ours$ #f there is really a )od, is Hepowerless to bring us immediately into the perfection wedesire- # believe )od can surely do it, were it not for the giftof freewill He has bestowed on every man$ For if Heimmediately brings us to such a state, wouldn t it be His willanymore and not ours-

    /ut what good is that will, you may argue on$ #sn t theremore disaster in it than blessing- #sn t the evil and suffering

    around us proof enough of the doom it has brought uponHis creatures-

    /irth pains, my friend$ :nly birth pains, with which Hischildren shall be born$ For without it, all that )od can evermake are puppets with no real right to their 7ivine heritage$

    5ore inspiring articles atwww.itakeoffthemask.com

    For 6ife Coa(hing,

    (onta(t 9o(elyn Soriano atita'eoffthemas':yahoo.(om

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    20/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    & *W >* %*+ 6 % %*+ 6 *SS?! 4ou've accepted your cross, you've welcomed to carry itwith all your heart, you believed that the difficulties thatloom in calvary is nothing compared to the glory that awaitsyou$ !till my friend, you have to carry it, you chose to, andthe burden you will carry is a reality you will go through, notan illusion you can skip or vanquish with the best andpurest of your intentions$ How do you carry your cross- Howdo you remain steadfast to the very end-

    # believe that if there is anyone who can show us how, it is0esus himself$ #t wasn't until recently though that # trulybelieved in the reality of his suffering, in the turmoil he feltwithin as a man to give him the full credit due for hissacrifice$ # guess #'ve always seen him in my mind as a )odmore than #'ve seen him as man$ #n my mind #'d say, >#can't do it, #'m not )od$ #'m not as strong, #'m not as good,#'m not as holy$>

    !urely # was familiar of what he went through2 # thought #was$ #t was something #'ve always been familiar of, being ina predominantly Catholic country, and having performedchurch practices such as praying the rosary and the stationsof the cross during holy week, not to mention the PA!4:5,a holy week practice in the Philippines where people gatherand recite the passion of 0esus through singing that goes onfor days$

    4et not even &el )ibson's H" PA!!#:5 :F CH=#! , whichenabled me to vividly see the severe physical tortures 0esuswent through was able to convince me of following his lastfootsteps as a model which a mere person like me can take$He was still a )od, someone who though e8periencing allthose pains he had should have had more holiness in himthan all of us combined to carry him over his ordeal$

    #t was only at a latter time when #'ve e8perienced somerather difficult times that enabled me to really understand$#t was a time when # felt so alone$ #t was a time when # feltthat even )od had abandoned me$

    And then # remembered$ # remembered one of the fewwords 0esus said at the cross, >&y )od, my )od, why haveyou abandoned me-> And then # reali(ed, that what 0esuswent through was real, what turmoil he felt was real as tomake him say those words$ He who knew his mission soclearly, He who believed He would rise again, He whoperformed great miracles in the presence of many was ableto utter those words$ How could he utter it had he not beena man, as real and as born of the flesh as you and me-

    He struggled, he really did$ #t had not been any easier forhim$ #t had not been any less painful$ He knew the weight ofhis cross, he took it, he cried out in pain, and he struggledto carry it to the very end$ How did he carry it- 3et's try towalk the path of the cross where he tread$

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    21/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    1. 9esus falls but he !erseveres

    Feeling all wonderful inside for our )od%given mission anddeciding to carry our cross that comes along with it doesn'tmean we'll never encounter any difficulties anymore incarrying it$ Along the way our faith may be challenged,along the way this world may wear us down and we waverin our stance$ #n our weakness we may stumble and fall$ Attimes we fall slightly, at times we fall real hard we don'tknow if we could ever get up again$ /ut let not such timesdiscourage us$ 3et it not imprint in our minds that the crosswe carry is heavier than we (an bear $ Accept that suchthings happen$ And that what matters really is not how hardor how many times you fall, but how you get up and carryon$

    2. 9esus gets hurt but he forgives

    0esus was mocked, scourged, spat upon, even nailed6 Addto that how he was abandoned by his friends, how he wasbetrayed, how Peter denied he even knew him$ 0esus had allthe right to be angry, to be furious at all those people whohurt him, especially with those he called his friends$ He had

    every right to, and # believe he struggled with such feelingsthat naturally comes upon every man$ 4et he didn't$ Hedecided to forgive$

    When # was younger # thought this was only because hewas a )od, that it was all a sign of his goodness and

    righteousness$ 5ow # know such an act is not necessarilyreserved for him alone$ 5ow # know that this is something#'m being called upon to do not merely to be good, butmoreso because this is what's good for me to do$

    he burden of the cross is already enough for you to bear$4ou cannot carry additional loads with you$ 5ot yourgrudges, not your anger, not your bitterness$ #f you are tocarry your cross, you must learn to forgive, and unload thatburden from your heart$

    3. 9esus was in !ain yet he en(ouraged another

    All of us carry a cross of our own, but that doesn't mean weare already e8cused from showing concern for one another,and from sharing our hopes to those who have none$ Whenthe thief asked 0esus to remember him, 0esus never said,>Hey, can't you see #'m also crucified over here- Can't yousee #'m dying too- Why don't you mind your own nails andlet's talk about that paradise later when #'m no longer inpain->

    5one of those words many of us might have said in disgust$/ut rather, in the midst of all his pain, thirsty and wounded,

    drenched with his own blood, 0esus uttered, > oday, you willbe with me in paradise$>

    . 9esus struggles to the !oint of feeling forsa'en, buthe rises above his feelings and rests his trust u!onthe Father

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.joysoriano.com/2007/03/why-is-my-cross-heavier.htmlhttp://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.joysoriano.com/2007/03/why-is-my-cross-heavier.htmlhttp://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    22/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    #n your despair, in times when the diffulties around youseem greater than the flame of hope that remains burningwithin you, in moments when you can't even feel )od'spresence anymore, believe it or not my friend, but even insuch a time, we still have a choice$

    We can choose to be angry, we can choose to give up allhope, we can choose to have a soul far darker than thedarkness surrounding us$ We can choose to go spirallingdownwards and sink forever in our misery$

    /ut we can also choose to protect what little hope we haveleft$ hough we cannot change the darkness outside of us,we can choose to have a little light burning deep within oursoul$ We can choose to cling on to that remaining sign of lifein our hearts$ We can choose to surrender when we knowwe've done our best and we can no longer carry on$ 0esusdid$ For how can someone who cried out, >&y )od, whyhave you abandoned me-> say later on, >Father, into thyhands # commend my spirit>- How could he have said thatto the same )od he felt had forsaken him if he had not beenconvinced )od had been there for him all along-

    #t was a very close call$ /ut 0esus chose life in the midst ofdarkness$ He conquered even death$ He was victorious$ Herises again and lives6

    he cross is real, as real as 0esus himself e8perienced it$ Heshowed us the way to carry it, thus making the rough

    symbol of shame and death a true emblem of trialsover(ome, of light in the midst of dar'ness and offaith that trium!hs no matter what 'ind of burden webear u!on our shoulders.

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    23/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    THE SKILL OF CATCHING JOY

    #f there is one skill )od wants me to learn, it is the skill ofbeing able to find .oy out of life s varied situations$ #t is truethat life often presents to us things that frustrate us, irritateus and trouble us$ /ut life also presents us things to behappy about and to be really grateful for$ We need only tofind these things, separate them from the dross, and focusour hearts upon the treasures we can find$

    #f you are to stand infront of a crowd who starts throwingboth stones and .ewels at you, will you not try to evade thestones and then try catching as many .ewels as you can-Will you weep because of the stones, or will you re.oice forthe .ewels that you find- !urely, # believe the time shallcome, when .oy stands so firm in our hearts that we caneven turn the stones coming our way into sapphires andemeralds, into diamonds and pearls, into treasures beyondany measure or price6

    5ore inspiring articles atwww.itakeoffthemask.com

    For 6ife Coa(hing,(onta(t 9o(elyn Soriano at

    ita'eoffthemas':yahoo.(om

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    24/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    $)3 83 93 ! 50 !3M0360 )3 I! L3!* I6

    *)0 8 4;'( !omeone groans in the darkness$ !omeone cries endlesslyand writhes in terrible pain$ !omeone wants to find her wayout of the pit she's sunk into, but she's fro(en in fear anddoes not know the way$ How do you save her- How do youbring her into the light-

    !hall you shout unto her and tell her she's got to get up andtry to find her way out- !hall you direct her shaking kneesto go to the left, to the right, make a u%turn, crawl under,

    .ump, tread the narrow and winding path that lies beforeher-

    !hall you encourage her how wonderful it is to bask in thelight- :r shall you tell her stories of people who made itthrough the difficult path she's going through-

    !hall you tell her to group with the hopeless man nearby-!hall you tell them to lead each other out of the pit they'reboth in-

    4ou must have guessed it$ here is no other way but to gointo the darkness where she is and lead her back into thelight6

    5o, it's not an easy thing, never will be$ /ut if we are totruly desire to share the happiness we have where we are,

    we must be willing to leave it for a while so we canaccompany those who do not know their way$

    Are they in poverty- hen you must be willing to eat thebread of the poor$ Are they in prison- hen you must bewilling to sleep where homeless men dwell$ Are theyweeping- hen you must be willing to have your heartbroken, so you may understand, and so you may not .udgewhere their tears are coming from$

    /ut make certain also that you bring enough light with you2otherwise, you will both be stranded in the darkness$

    /ring as much light as you can, as much .oy in your heartas you can possibly save$ For it will usually be a long

    .ourney, and you do not want your light to be swallowed upby the deep darkness that will surround you$

    /e prepared for opposition, especially from the one you'retrying to help$ Change is never an easy thing, and fear isprobably the greatest enemy to overcome$

    Geep the vision of your home always fresh upon yourmemory$ 7o not forget who you are, where you came from,

    and for what you have set forth to accomplish$ :therwise,the people around you, who do not know of it may convinceyou that the darkness you see is all that's ever e8isted$

    !uch is the way to rescue someone who is lost, and such isthe way each and every one of us have all been saved$

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    25/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    For )od Himself stripped His )lory and 7ivinity, becomingflesh and man like us, that He may bring upon this dark andlonely world an ine8tinguishable flame of hope, and lifebeyond everything we've ever hoped to have$

    # have never heard of any other )od who would do thesame so He can save His people, who would do the onlything possible to bring them all into the 3ight, which they donot know$

    And yet that was what He did$ He knew hunger for us$ Heknew how it was to be tempted$ He laughed, He got angry,

    He wept$ He was .udged, and mocked and betrayed$ Heknew how it was like to be deserted by all of His friends inHis darkest and most painful hour$ He even knew how itwas like to die$ He who is 3ife itself, has hung upon thecross until His very last breath had been taken away fromHim$

    All these He did that we may understand and believe, andthat we may know what we should pray for$ Heaven is sofar above us that we could not possibly figure it out nomatter how hard we try$ We needed to witness the truth

    right before our very eyes$ We needed to be healed so wemay know wholeness$ We needed to be truly loved so wecan give true love away$

    ow do you save someone who's lost inthe dark? "ake a very good look at thecross today, you may just reali e what itreally takes.

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    26/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    WHAT DO YOU SEE IN THE EYES OF

    SORROW?

    Have you ever looked unto the eyes of true sorrow, the kindthat is free of any bitterness or regret, the kind whose tearsare so pure it cleanses your soul- #f you'd have lookedcarefully, you must have seen the resemblance, how theeyes of sorrow so closely resemble the eyes of purest .oy$How they both touch us and move us to be our betterselves2 and how they both give meaning to the life we'reliving in today$

    Why are we so afraid then of sorrow- Why pretend you'rehappy when what you really wanted to do is cry- here ismore to life than laugher$ here is more to life than theabsence of difficulties that try our spirit$ For trials give untous a gift, which comfort can never bequeath upon us$ Andabove all laughter are tears that tell us our souls have .ustbeen sanctified$

    #n truth, the most beautiful moments in our lives are themoments when both .oy and sorrow dwell upon our hearts,embracing us, moving us, creating a tapestry of holinessand love, forever enriching us and blessing us through themystery and power of our tears$

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    27/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    - %( *9 /(""I)3 3* >ear @esus, I come to you now with a broken heartand a weary spirit. I dont know how I can carry oneach day knowing that a part of me had alreadygone, never ever to return. 6an I ever be completeagain? 6an I ever smile again at the coming of a newday? >ay after day I miss him more and more. >ayafter day my longing grows but it can never befulfilled. ow can I possibly live my life again? owdo I overcome this feeling that I am now all aloneand I shall always be alone or the rest of my life? "he

    places we've been to, the celebrations we hadtogether, they will never be the same. "he emptinessin my heart is so big I can no longer breathesometimes.

    elp me * 3od$ "he pain of separation seems more painful to me than death itself. I don't know how

    much longer I can carry on. elp me carry on this day/ord. "hough I may not forget, help me to rememberhow you have always carried me through. "hough the

    pain may not yet go away, assist me in carrying thiscross with hope in my heart.

    /et me not forget the people who love me and assistme in this hour of need. 5ay I find strength in them,consolation in the generosity of their hearts. ndwhenever I'm afraid, let there always be a hand tohold on to, a smile to brighten up my path.

    Send down your angels /ord and may I recogni e your hand upon your every gift and blessing. 3ive mesomething to do that I may not feel useless, yet teachme also to rest knowing all will be well after the longdark night. %ou are my ock and my -rovider, Saviorand >efender, 9riend and /over who will never everlet me down. %ou will lead me through this day. %ouwill fill my every hour with peace, my every momentwith thoughts of your love. I cannot bear the burdensof tomorrow but I will offer you all that I have today."oday is yours * 3od. "his moment is yours. (mbraceme and take my hand. I am in your heart. I am safe. Iam loved.

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    28/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    LET GO

    3et go of your tears,and you will see the light$

    3et go of your worries,for tomorrow is alright$

    3et go of your troubles,or you might lose your peace$

    3et go of your fears,and you will find your dreams6

    4ou will find your life,is more meaningful to live$4ou will find your burden,

    getting lighter like your soul$

    4ou will find happiness,always waiting on your way$

    4ou will find heaven,getting nearer each day

    5ore inspiring articles atwww.itakeoffthemask.com

    For 6ife Coa(hing,(onta(t 9o(elyn Soriano at

    ita'eoffthemas':yahoo.(om

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    29/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    &W () 3*> - %S! Have you ever wondered what kind of prayer God wouldever pray? You heard it right, we're talking about God's

    prayer, and you're definitely not reading an article from anatheist, but from a sinner who truly believes in the Living

    God. believe in God. believe He listens to our every prayer. !ut the real "uestion is, do we ever listen when God

    prays?

    By beloved, why do you (ry? 5hy do you fill yourheart with gloom and ho!elessness? 5hy do you hide

    from me? 5hy do you bear this burden that is notyours? 5as the night so long you never thought it

    would surrender to another sunrise? 5as the wintertoo (old you never thought you (ould feel warm everagain? am dee!ly troubled with your troubles. amutterly (on(erned that (ould not slee!. 'now yourwounds for they are mine as well. 'now your tears

    and would li'e to ta'e them away.

    5o reply$

    By beloved, it4s been so long sin(e heard your voi(e>so long sin(e you !oured out your heart to me. #ow long to hear them on(e again. #ow missed it #ow

    miss the songs you used to sing. #ow miss you #ow yearn to en oy your !resen(e on(e more.

    5o reply$

    By beloved, has the world deafened the ears thatused to listen to my voi(e? #as the noise of the world

    been so loud you (ouldn4t hear my gentle whis!er?#ow 4d li'e to shout u!on you li'e thunder &o rea(h

    out to you li'e the (rashing waves ut it is not myway, beloved. am not among the fire nor the

    lightning nor the storm. am the soft breeDe thatwhis!ers unto you with unfailing love.

    # do not have the love that you have, or the patience thatyou have for me$ # do not care if you bring me fire or

    thunder or rain for it is .ust the same6 his life is not goodto me$ #t would have been better had # not been born at all6

    5hy do you des!ise life> life that have given you?#ave not formed you in your mother4s womb? #ave not (hosen you before the birth of the earth? #ave

    not fashioned you intri(ately, !assionately,wonderfully, uniEuely, !erfe(tly beyond any(on(eivable thought or mira(le? #ave not breathedon you? #ave not given you my own heart? #ave

    not made you in my own glory and immortality?

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    30/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    # can see no beauty whatsoever in the creature that # am$here is no hope for me for # am wretched and most

    unfortunate of men$ &en will never look upon me withadmiration or respect$ &en would never even notice me, for

    who am #- Who am # that anyone should care about me-

    4ou say you fashioned me$ 4ou say you breathed your lifeunto me, but # have none$ 7eath has more mercy for one

    such as me$

    5hy do you (hoose death? 5hy !refer dar'ness tolight? Sorrow over oy? es!air over ho!e? #ave not

    given you freewill? #ave not given you a mind su(has my own?

    Freewill belongs only to those blessed upon the earth$ &ensuch as me have no choice whatsoever$ Why hope when

    you will be frustrated in the end- Why desire light when youcannot prevail over darkness-

    By beloved, have not given you strength? #ave not!oured out 5isdom unto you? #ave not armed youwith everything you need to fa(e the battles of thisworld? nd have not (ome before you and (laimed

    vi(tory over the war you (annot win?

    Why do you talk to me- 7on t you have any other business

    to take care of- Why waste your time on me when you canconvince a multitude with your words- # am not your only

    love$ # am not the only one you care about so be gone fromme6 # am nobody s beloved$

    5hy do you not trust my heart? o you not 'now thelove have for you? nd why send me to the (rowd

    when my beloved is here? leave the ninety nineshee! for the one see'. For the one whi(h (an never

    be re!la(ed. For the one whom will hide in theshadow of my wings. For the one whose name is

    written forever in the !alm of my hand.

    4ou speak so wonderfully as though it is the truth$ Asthough you know how # feel$

    &here is no truth but . nd the truth is that haveloved you so mu(h that des!ised my life so you (an

    have yours.

    What is this life you re talking about anyway- #f there isheaven, why don t you bring me there- #t is different to

    walk the face of the earth$ #t is different to face the peoplethat # face$ o struggle with the problems # m going

    through$ o remain standing when a thousand await for meto stumble so they can trample upon me$ !o they can spit

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    31/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    on my face when they have the chance$ Where is the gloryyou re talking about- hey do not even respect me$ Where

    is hope when # don t even know which road to take-

    5hat is it that you want, my (hild?

    5o reply$

    5hat is it that you desire me to give you?

    5o reply$

    5hy do you not 'no(' u!on the door whi(h waits tobe o!ened u! for you? 5hy do you not as' for the

    gra(e that was meant to be yours? 5hy do you(ontent yourself with garbage when you (an see' a

    treasure, whi(h nobody (an ever ta'e away from you?

    # am .ust so tired and worn out$ # don t even have thestrength to argue with you anymore$

    &hen what is it that you want, my beloved?

    # m .ust so lonely2 # wish there could be someone to holdmy hand$

    e holds our hand.

    e carries us when we can carry on no more.

    e restores our strength. e renews us.

    e picks up the broken pieces of our hearts and mends it

    as though it were never broken at all.

    God speaks, God seeks us in the darkest chambers of ourhearts. God longs to hear us, to touch us and comfort us at

    times when we needed it most. !ut we are cold and tiredand deaf. #e hear Him knocking, but we dare not open the

    door. #e hear Him praying, but we pretend not to have

    heard it, and we turn away.

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    32/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    & ( S"I//! /e still my heartand let your troubles melt away4ou are loved4ou are free4ours is the earth and morefor great indeed is your inheritance4ou need not be troubled4ou need not fear of anything4ou need not wear yourself out anymoreby efforts that have brought you nothing4ou need only to restto trustto believethat everything's going to be .ust fine#t will be taken care of by the Hand of )od4our prayer has been heardeven before it had been uttered4our desires shall come to beand no one can steal your dreams away5o one can snatch you awayfrom the 3ove of )od

    for you are Hisand His aloneforever/e stilland rest your weary soul

    3et not your confidence layupon the workings of the fleshbut upon the power of the spiritwhose power is greaterin times when you restthan in the many days that you toil/e stillbe wholebe .oyful

    .ust where you are

    for who you really aresomeone more wonderful than the starssomeone even more beautifulthan the rising of the sun$

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    33/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    THE MISSION OF LITTLE CHILDREN

    n

  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    34/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    portion of her own life, as it were, dies$ How can she givehim up, with all these memories, these associations- hetimid hands that have so often taken hers in trust and love,how can she fold them on his breast, and surrender them tothe cold clasp of death- he feet whose wanderings she haswatched so narrowly, how can she see them straitened togo down into the dark valley- he head that she haspressed to her lips and her bosom, that she has watched inburning sickness and in peaceful slumber, a hair of whichshe could not see harmed, :6 how can she consign it to thechamber of the grave- he form that not for one night hasbeen beyond her vision or her knowledge, how can she putit away for the long night of the sepulchre, to see it no

    more- &an has cares and toils that draw away his thoughtsand employ them2 she sits in loneliness, and all thesememories, all these suggestions, crowd upon her$ How canshe bear all this- !he could not, were it not that her faith isas her affection2 and if the one is more deep and tenderthan in man, the other is more simple and spontaneous,and takes confidently hold of the hand of )od$

    hus, then, do children awaken within us deep and mightyaffections2 and is it not their mission to do so- 7o we notsee many beautiful offices created and discharged by theseaffections%%tender and far%reaching relationships into whichthey run- 7o we not see how they win the heart fromfrivolity and selfishness, and make it aware of duties, andquick with sympathies- # shall not enter into detailedconsiderations of the results of this affection thus awakenedin us by children$ A little reflection will render them obvious

    to you$ 3et me simply say, that in awakening theseaffections children discharge an important and beautifulmission$

    # $ # might speak of other offices discharged by littlechildren2 of the influence upon us of their purity and theirinnocence2 their importance in the social state2 of thebenefits conferred upon us by the very duties which wee8ercise toward them$ /ut merely suggesting these, # willspeak at this time of but one more mission which theyperform for us$ and this, my friends, is performed throughsadness and through tears$ he little child performs it by itsdeath$ #t has been with us a little while$ We have en.oyed

    its bright and innocent companionship by the dusty highwayof life, in the midst of its toils, its cares, and its sin$ #t hasbeen a gleam of sunshine and a voice of perpetual gladnessin our homes$ We have learned from it blessed lessons ofsimplicity, sincerity, purity, faith$ #t has unsealed within usthis gushing, never%ebbing tide of affection$ !uddenly, it istaken away$ We miss the gleam of sunshine$ We miss thevoice of gladness$ :ur homes are dark and silent$ We ask,>!hall it not come again-> And the answer breaks upon usthrough the cold gray silence, >5evermore6> We say toourselves again and again, >Can it be possible-> >7o we notdream-> >Will not that life and affection return to us->>5evermore6> :6 nevermore6 he heart is like an emptymansion, and that word goes echoing through its desolatechambers$ We are stricken and afflicted$ /ut must this,should this, be always and only so- Are we not lookingmerely at the earthly aspect of the event- Has it not a

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    35/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    spiritual phase for us- 5ay, do we not begin to consider howthrough our temporal affection an eternal good is wroughtout for us- 7o we begin to reali(e that in our souls we havederived profit from it already- 7o we not begin to learn thatlife is not a holiday or a workday only, but a discipline,%%that)od conducts that discipline in infinite wisdom andbenevolence,%%mingles the draught, and, when he sees fit,infuses bitterness- 5ot that constant sweet would notplease us better, but that our discipline, which is of moreimportance than our indulgence, will be more effectualthereby$ his is often talked about2 # ask, do not we whoare called upon to mourn the loss of children reali(e it,%%actually reali(e that that loss is for our spiritual gain- #f we

    do not, we are merely looking upon the earthly phase of ourloss$ #f we do not reali(e this spiritual good, we may$

    4es, in death the little child has a mission for us$ hroughthat very departure he accomplishes for us, perhaps, whathe could not accomplish by his life$ hese affections whichhe has awakened, we have considered how strong they are$

    hey are stronger, are they not, than any attachment tomere things of this earth- /ut that child has gone from us,%%gone into the unseen, the spiritual world$ What then- 7oour affections sink back into our hearts,%%become absorbedand forgotten- :, no6 hey reach out after that little one2they follow him into the unseen and spiritual world,%%thus isit made a great and vivid reality to us,%%perhaps for the firsttime$ We have talked of it, we have believed in it2 but nowthat our dead have gone into it, we have, as it were,entered it ourselves$ #ts atmosphere is around us, chords of

    affection draw us toward it, the faces of our departed oneslook out from it%%and it is a reality$ And is it not worthsomething to make it such a reality-

    We are wedded to this world$ #t is beautiful, it is attractive,it is real$ #mmortality is a pleasant thought$ he spiritualland is an ob.ect of faith$ /ut the separation between thisand that is cold to think of, and hard to bear$ #t needssomething stronger than this earth to draw us toward thatspiritual world2 to break some of the thousand tendrils thatbind us here$ &y friends, though many powerful appeals,many solid arguments, cannot break our affections from thisearth, the hand of a departed child can do it$ he voice that

    calls us to unseen realities, that bids us prepare for theheavenly land, that says from heights of spiritual bliss andpurity, >Come up hither2>%%that voice that we loved so onearth, and gladly can we rise and follow it$

    /ehold, then, what a little child can perform for us throughits death6 #t makes real and attractive to us that spiritualworld to which it has gone, and calls our affections fromearth to that true life which is the great end of our being,which is the ob.ect of all our discipline, our mingled .oy andsuffering, here upon this earth$ hat little child, gone fromits sufferings of early,%%gone

    >)entle and undefiled, with blessings on its head,>%% has itindeed become a very angel of )od for us, and is it callingus to a more spiritual life, and does it win us to heaven- #sits memory around us like a pure presence into which no

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    36/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    thought of sin can readily enter- :r is it with us, even yet, aspiritual companion of our ways- From being the guardedand the guided, has it risen in infant innocence, yet in theknowledge and ma.esty of the immortal life, to be the guardand the guide- 7oes it, indeed, make our hearts softer andpurer, and cause us to think more of duty, and live moreholy, thus clothing ourselves to go and dwell with it- 7oesit, by its death, accomplish all this- :6 most important,most glorious mission of all, if we only heed it, if we onlyaccept it$ hen shall we behold already the wisdom andbenevolence of our Father breaking through the cloud thatovershadows us$ Already shall we see that the tie, whichseemed to be dropped and broken, )od has taken up to

    draw us closer to himself, and that it is interwoven with hisall%gracious plan for our spiritual profit and perfection$ Andwe can anticipate how it will all be reconciled, when his ownhand shall wipe away our tears, and the bliss of reunionshall e8tract the last drop of bitterness from >the cup thatour Father had given us$>

    5ore inspiring articles atwww.itakeoffthemask.com

    For 6ife Coa(hing,(onta(t 9o(elyn Soriano at

    ita'eoffthemas':yahoo.(om

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    37/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    OUT OF THE DEEP OF SUFFERING AND

    SORROW

    n so that thefloods run over me. 8s. l=i=. 1, 2.

    am brought into so great trouble and [email protected] that go mourning all the day long. 8s. ===viii. ).

    &he sorrows of my heart are [email protected] 7h bring &houme out of my distress. 8s. ==v. 1*.

    &he 6ord hath heard the voi(e of my [email protected] the6ord will re(eive my !rayer. 8s. vi. .

    n the multitude of the sorrows whi(h had in myheart, &hy (omforts have refreshed my soul. 8s. =(iv.1*.

    "ach heart knows its own bitterness2 each soul has its ownsorrow2 each man's life has its dark days of storm and

    tempest, when all his .oys seem blown away by somesudden blast of ill%fortune, and the desire of his eyes istaken from him, and all his hopes and plans, all which heintended to do or to en.oy, are hid with blinding mist, sothat he cannot see his way before him, and knows notwhither to go, or whither to flee for help2 when faith in )odseems broken up for the moment, when he feels nostrength, no purpose, and knows not what to determine,what to do, what to believe, what to care for2 when the veryearth seems reeling under his feet, and the fountains of theabyss are broken up$

    When that day comes, let him think of )od's covenant andtake heart$ #s the sun's warmth perished out of the skybecause the storm is cold with hail and bitter winds- #s)od's love changed because we cannot feel it in ourtrouble- #s the sun's light perished out of the sky because

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    38/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    the world is black with cloud and mist- Has )od forgotten togive light to suffering souls, because we cannot see our wayfor a few short days of perple8ity-

    5o$ )od's message to every sad and desolate heart onearth, is that )od is 3ight, and in Him is no darkness at all2that )od is 3ove, and in Him there is no cruelty at all2 that)od is :ne, and in Him there is no change at all$ Andtherefore we can pray boldly to Him, and ask Him to deliverus in the time of our tribulation and misery2 in the hour ofdeath, whether of our own death or the death of those welove2 in the day of .udgment, whereof it is written%%>#t is)od who .ustifieth us2 who is he that condemneth- #t is

    Christ who died, yea, rather who is risen again, who evennow maketh intercession for us$> o that boundless love of)od, which He showed forth in the life of Christ 0esus2 tothat perfect and utter will to deliver us which )od showedforth in the death of Christ 0esus, when the Father sparednot His own !on, but gave Him freely for us2 to thatboundless love we may trust ourselves, our fortunes, ourfamilies, our bodies, our souls, and the bodies and souls ofthose we love$

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    39/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    &- %( !

    : y (lla Wheeler Wilco2A I do not undertake to say That literal answers come from Heaven,But I know this--that when I pray A comfort, a support is givenThat helps me rise o'er earthly thingsAs larks soar up on airy wings.

    In vain the wise philosopher

    oints out to me my fa!ric's flaws,In vain the scientists aver That "all things are controlled !y laws."#y life has taught me day !y dayThat it availeth much to pray.

    I do not stop to reason out The why and how. I do not care,$ince I know this, that when I dou!t, %ife seems a !lackness of despair,

    The world a tom!& and when I trust,$weet !lossoms spring up in the dust.

    $ince I know in the darkest hour, If I lift up my soul in prayer,$ome sympathetic, loving ower $ends hope and comfort to me there.$ince !alm is sent to ease my pain,

    hat need to argue or e(plain)

    rayer has a sweet, refining grace, It educates the soul and heart.It lends a lustre to the face, And !y its elevating artIt gives the mind an inner sightThat !rings it near the Infinite.

    *rom our gross selves it helps us rise To something which we yet may !e.And so I ask not to !e wise, If thus my faith is lost to me.*aith, that with angel's voice and touch$ays, " ray, for prayer availeth much."

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/
  • 8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

    40/40

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    More inspiring articles and Life Coaching at-

    www.itakeoffthemask.com

    More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com

    http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/