God bless Australia!!

20092009 11/10/10AdaptationAdaptation

God bless Australia!!God bless Australia!!WE ARE ONE!!WE ARE ONE!!

We are the people of a free nation of blokes,We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wanker.sheilas and the occasional wanker.

We come from many lands We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand), (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand),

and although we live in the best country in the world, and although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like. we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like.

We are One Nation but divided into many StatesWe are One Nation but divided into many States..


New South WalesNew South WalesNSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar,

thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens.

Its capital Sydney has more queens Its capital Sydney has more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it.than any other city in the world and is proud of it.

Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers who pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep who pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep the left and right sides of their brains separatethe left and right sides of their brains separate..


South AustraliaSouth AustraliaSouth Australia is the province of half-decent reds, South Australia is the province of half-decent reds,

a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders. a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders.

SA is the state of innovation. SA is the state of innovation. Where else can you so effectively reuse country bank Where else can you so effectively reuse country bank

vaults and barrels as in Snowtown, vaults and barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen). just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen).

They had the Grand Prix, They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the

Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheelFormula One drivers to sleep at the wheel..


Western AustraliaWestern AustraliaWestern Australia is too farWestern Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. from anywhere to be relevant.

It's main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving It's main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did, all the men would get erections because if it did, all the men would get erections

on the bus on the way to work. on the bus on the way to work.

WA was the last state to stop importing convictsWA was the last state to stop importing convictsand and many of them still work there in the governmentmany of them still work there in the government

and businessand business..


VICTORIAVICTORIA’The Bottom of The Mainland’’The Bottom of The Mainland’

Victoria, named after a queen Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians.who didn't believe in lesbians.

Victoria is the realm of turtlenecks, Victoria is the realm of turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand final day and more horse races!! cafe latte, grand final day and more horse races!!

Its capital is Melbourne, Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch is that "it's liveable“?? whose chief marketing pitch is that "it's liveable“??

At least that's what those wankers think. At least that's what those wankers think. The rest of us know it is too bloody cold, wet and miserableThe rest of us know it is too bloody cold, wet and miserable

and then there’s and then there’s MELBOURNE #@$!#yuckMELBOURNE #@$!#yuck!!


TasmaniaTasmaniaDown south we have Tasmania, Down south we have Tasmania,

a State based on the notion that the family a State based on the notion that the family that bonks together stays together. that bonks together stays together.

In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome at conception. at conception.

Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces.

It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which the Yanks can't seem to beat which the Yanks can't seem to beat

no matter how often they tryno matter how often they try..


Northern TerritoryNorthern TerritoryThe Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land.

Outback plains, sheep stations the size of Europe, kangaroos, Outback plains, sheep stations the size of Europe, kangaroos, Jackaroos, emus, Uluru, and dusty kids with big smiles. Jackaroos, emus, Uluru, and dusty kids with big smiles.

It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere on the It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium

content of anywhere too. content of anywhere too.

Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to fly over it culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to fly over it

on our way to Balion our way to Bali..


AustralianAustralianCapital TerritoryCapital Territory

Oh yes and there's Canberra. Oh yes and there's Canberra.

Kev N ‘Dudd’, Julia ‘Blizzard’, Wayne ‘Swine’ – Oz Labor PartyKev N ‘Dudd’, Julia ‘Blizzard’, Wayne ‘Swine’ – Oz Labor PartyBob ‘Pink’ – Oz Greens PartyBob ‘Pink’ – Oz Greens Party

etc. etc. etc………..etc. etc. etc………..The less said the betterThe less said the better..


QueenslandQueenslandAnd there's Queensland. And there's Queensland.

While any mention of God seems silly While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of in a document defining a nation of

half arsed sceptics, it is worth noting half arsed sceptics, it is worth noting that God probably made Queensland, that God probably made Queensland,

as its beautiful one day and perfect the next. as its beautiful one day and perfect the next.

Why he filled it with interstate/international Why he filled it with interstate/international dickheads remains a mysterydickheads remains a mystery..


HappyHappyAustralia DayAustralia Day

and and just bloody forget about MELBOURNE #@$!#yuckjust bloody forget about MELBOURNE #@$!#yuck!!

God bless Australia!!

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