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We live in societies in which most men and women We live in societies in which most men and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are have lost their sense of modesty, women are

obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of other be seen by others and to attract the attention of other

men even if they are married! They have lost their men even if they are married! They have lost their sense of shame. Marriage is often looked upon as old-sense of shame. Marriage is often looked upon as old-

fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm, everyone waiting to attract relationships are the norm, everyone waiting to attract

a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism

too has reached its peak and men and women are too has reached its peak and men and women are told to suppress their natural emotions. told to suppress their natural emotions.

Men are not even embarrassed when their wives are Men are not even embarrassed when their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they

don’t mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and don’t mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind, even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind,

they are told not to be so possessive! they are told not to be so possessive!

In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word which means protectiveness or an Arabic word which means protectiveness or

jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy, like when a jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters

and other-womenfolk and doesn’t like other men to and other-womenfolk and doesn’t like other men to look at them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has look at them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has

given men and women. The Prophet (SAW) had the given men and women. The Prophet (SAW) had the most Gheerah for his wives and all of the companions most Gheerah for his wives and all of the companions

were known for their Gheerah. were known for their Gheerah.

All Muslim men should have a collective sense of All Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah says in the protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah says in the

Qur’an:Qur’an:

The meaning of which is: The meaning of which is: ““The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, [[because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to

support them) from their meanssupport them) from their means]…]…” ” (Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34)(Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34)

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Men who do not care about how their women behave and Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front of other men and don’t enforce hijaab upon their appear in front of other men and don’t enforce hijaab upon their wives or women-folk are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is wives or women-folk are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin and a detailed description of this evil characteristic a major sin and a detailed description of this evil characteristic can be found in adh-Dhahabee’s book of Major Sins can be found in adh-Dhahabee’s book of Major Sins (Kitaab ul-Kabaa’ir). (Kitaab ul-Kabaa’ir).

A story of Gheerah A story of Gheerah

To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an incident that Asmaa’ (RA) the daughter of look at an incident that Asmaa’ (RA) the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq (RA) and sister of Aisha (RA), Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq (RA) and sister of Aisha (RA),

relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy merchant and he married his daughterAsmaa’ to the merchant and he married his daughterAsmaa’ to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam (RA) who great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam (RA) who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one

of the companions who were promised Paradise.of the companions who were promised Paradise.

Asmaa’ relates: Asmaa’ relates: “When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor “When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor slave…” so Asmaa’ had to work very hard wealth nor slave…” so Asmaa’ had to work very hard

kneading dough, going far off to get water. “And I kneading dough, going far off to get water. “And I used to carry on my head,” she continues, “the date used to carry on my head,” she continues, “the date

stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah’s stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah’s Messenger (SAW) had endowed him and it was a Messenger (SAW) had endowed him and it was a

distance of two miles from Madeenah. distance of two miles from Madeenah.

One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened to meet Allah’s Messenger (SAW), head, I happened to meet Allah’s Messenger (SAW), along with a group of his Companions. He called me along with a group of his Companions. He called me and told the camel to sit down so that he could make and told the camel to sit down so that he could make

me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and I me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and I remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah and he was a remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah and he was a

man having the most Gheerah. The Messenger of man having the most Gheerah. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) understood my shyness and left. Allah (SAW) understood my shyness and left.

I came to az-Zubair and said: “The Messenger of I came to az-Zubair and said: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) met me as I was carrying date-stones Allah (SAW) met me as I was carrying date-stones

upon my head and there was with him a group of his upon my head and there was with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so that I Companions. He told the camel to kneel so that I

could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your Gheerah.” So Asmaa’ declined the offer made by the Gheerah.” So Asmaa’ declined the offer made by the Prophet (SAW). Upon this az-Zubair said: “By Allah, Prophet (SAW). Upon this az-Zubair said: “By Allah, the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your

head is more severe a burden on me than you riding head is more severe a burden on me than you riding with him.” with him.” (related in Saheeh Bukhari)(related in Saheeh Bukhari)

Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa’! Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa’! See how she felt shy in front of men? See how careful See how she felt shy in front of men? See how careful she was about her husband’s feelings? She knew that she was about her husband’s feelings? She knew that her husband had a lot of Gheerah so she didn’t want her husband had a lot of Gheerah so she didn’t want to upset him by accepting the Prophet’s (SAW) help to upset him by accepting the Prophet’s (SAW) help even though the Prophet was the purest of men and even though the Prophet was the purest of men and even though it meant bringing hardship on herself! even though it meant bringing hardship on herself!

And look at az-Zubair (RA), even though he had a lot And look at az-Zubair (RA), even though he had a lot of Gheerah, he didn’t want to inconvenience his wife. of Gheerah, he didn’t want to inconvenience his wife.

What a beautiful relationship they had! What a beautiful relationship they had!

Nurturing our sense of Gheerah Nurturing our sense of Gheerah

Sometimes Muslim women don’t understand if their Sometimes Muslim women don’t understand if their men folk want them to cover their faces or if they ask men folk want them to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something about the way they dress them to change something about the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men are being or speak in public, thinking that the men are being

over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimaar asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimaar

because it brings out the beauty of your eyes, or if he because it brings out the beauty of your eyes, or if he wants you to cover your face – by Allah, be thankful! wants you to cover your face – by Allah, be thankful!

Be proud of the fact that your husband has a sense of Be proud of the fact that your husband has a sense of Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for

your hereafter. your hereafter.

He knows what men can be like more than you do and He knows what men can be like more than you do and so never try and suppress his Gheerah in these types so never try and suppress his Gheerah in these types of matters. And his concern for you should incite your of matters. And his concern for you should incite your own sense of honour! Why should any man be able to own sense of honour! Why should any man be able to

see your beauty and think indecent thoughts about see your beauty and think indecent thoughts about you? We must nurture our own and our men folk’s you? We must nurture our own and our men folk’s

sense of Gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly sense of Gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly ourselves and paying attention to their valid opinions. ourselves and paying attention to their valid opinions.

We expect certain behaviour from them and they We expect certain behaviour from them and they expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks us to expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks us to do something that it not Haraam [forbidden], we must do something that it not Haraam [forbidden], we must

do it. do it.

And Brothers! How can you allow your wife or sister to And Brothers! How can you allow your wife or sister to walk around attracting the attentions and evil-thoughts walk around attracting the attentions and evil-thoughts of other men? How can you not mind if she smiles as of other men? How can you not mind if she smiles as she talks to other men. Nobody has the right to enjoy she talks to other men. Nobody has the right to enjoy her and her company but you and her Maharim men. her and her company but you and her Maharim men. You are not being overbearing if you first encourage You are not being overbearing if you first encourage

and then enforce the hijaab on your womenfolk and then enforce the hijaab on your womenfolk because YOU will be asked about it on the Day of because YOU will be asked about it on the Day of

Judgment and it is also a major sin upon YOU! Judgment and it is also a major sin upon YOU!

It is upon the men to enforce these things in their It is upon the men to enforce these things in their homes and you cannot use the excuse that your wife homes and you cannot use the excuse that your wife didn’t want to. Women need a firm, balanced, guiding didn’t want to. Women need a firm, balanced, guiding

hand from their men, so with wisdom you must hand from their men, so with wisdom you must enforce hijaab in your home. You are a shepard and enforce hijaab in your home. You are a shepard and

are responsible for your flock! are responsible for your flock!

Allah reminds us all in the Qur’an:Allah reminds us all in the Qur’an:

The meaning of which is: The meaning of which is: ““Oh you who believe, Protect yourselves and your Oh you who believe, Protect yourselves and your

families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones, families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones, [[over over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing)

the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded]the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded]” ” (At-Tahreem, Aayah 6) (At-Tahreem, Aayah 6)

There is a big difference between how Islam values and There is a big difference between how Islam values and protects women and how cheaply women are treated outside of protects women and how cheaply women are treated outside of

Islam! As Muslims we have to be careful that our Hayaa’ Islam! As Muslims we have to be careful that our Hayaa’ (sense of modesty and shame) and Gheerah don’t wear out in (sense of modesty and shame) and Gheerah don’t wear out in

a society in which people have lost it.a society in which people have lost it.

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