general etiquette knowledge...NOVEMBER 2017 BEST OF KENYA KSH 400/- Tz Sh 10,000 Ug Sh12,000 VOL 12...

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VOL 12 ISSUE NO.104

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K E N Y A ’ S P R E M I E R P A R E N T I N G M A G A Z I N E

PLU

S:

BONDING TIPS FOR DADS-TO-BE

PHOBIAS IN CHILDREN

BEING A SUPPORTIVE PARENT

Friends andfamily

loan etiquette

Intimacy:A key

factor in relationships

Do teenagers needemotionalsupport?

knowledgegeneral

Ways to improve your child’s

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Contents 2017November08

12

66

18

34

Parenting06 USING TIME-OUT TECHNIQUES TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN

Conception10 UNDERSTAND YOUR PREGNANT BODY

Pregnancy12 HOW TO GET A GOOD SLEEP DURING PREGNANCY

Relationship34 MAKING UP AFTER A FIGHT

Dad Cares36 BONDING TIPS FOR DADS-TO-BE

School Time26 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR CHILD’S GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

Pre-School22 THUMB SUCKING: HELPING YOUR CHILD STOP

Intimacy30 INTIMACY: A KEY FACTOR IN RELATIONSHIPS

Teen28 DO TEENAGERS NEED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT?

Baby16 DOES YOUR INFANT NEED A PACIFIER?

Style60 WHY FLAT SHOES ARE HERE TO STAY

Beyond Parenting38 BEING A SUPPORTIVE PARENT

Home54 HANGING PLANTERS IN YOUR HOME

Travel50 MUST DO ACTIVITIES IN LAMU

Family Finance46 FRIENDS AND FAMILY LOAN ETIQUETTE

Homefront56 CONS OF OVERPROTECTIVE PARENTING

Health64 9 WAYS TO GET YOUR ‘COUCH KID’ MOVING

Food Delight66 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?

Feature42 PHOBIAS IN CHILDREN

4 MOM & DAD - NOVEMBER 2017

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It has always been said that parenting is not for the faint of heart. The stakes are high. You can never figure it all out.

It is okay to fall off the wagon once in a while, as long as you climb back on as soon as you realize there is a problem. There has never been a price for best parents in the world. There will never be one. Every kid is different. Each parent is different too. Every day brings new challenges. Fortunately, kids are resilient. You don’t need to beat yourself up when you don’t do as well as you would like; instead, you should put your energy into knowing when and how to hit “reset.”

According to Eileen Paris, a psychoanalyst and family therapist, when communicating with kids, keeping all three parenting process guidelines in mind creates an outline for how to be in a relationship, how to be with your children’s feelings, while still being ourselves.

The Parenting Process guidelines:1. Bonding: make contact. Protect the bond; do not threaten either emotional abandonment or invasion.2. Mirroring: mirror and reflect your child’s feelings with empathy.3. Differentiating: remember your child is different from you, with different thoughts and feelings.

Using these guidelines, parents will nourish children to recognize and express their own feelings and have empathy for others. These children have a better chance to grow into adults who are not torn between their need for intimacy and their need for independence. These children will be better prepared to meet the emotional demands of the future and to nurture the life of our planet.

Find out more on Parenting on our ‘Parenting’ article. Enjoy the parenting process and enjoy the read as well!

MANAGING EDITORHilda Gaya

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EDITORLily Mashaka

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CONTRIBUTORSMartin Dias

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T H E R E A L M O D E R N P A R E N T I N G M A G A Z I N E

Hilda

FROM THE EDITOR

Parenting is a process


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PARENTING

techniques to discipline childrenUsing time-out

Most of you will equate it with punishment and control. Parents are left confused about the

effective ways to instill self-control in kids and set limits for them as well.

If your toddler’s usual reaction to any of your instruction is ‘no’, do not think that you are alone. As a toddler, the child starts understanding his

or her limits and power and he or she will test yours at times. There are some time-out techniques that are one of the most effective ways of helping your child understand the difference between positive and negative behaviour.

What is Time-Out Technique?Time out technique means

sending your child to a place that is aside from interesting activities and people for a period of time. It can be a room, a chair or a corner. But make sure that the place is safe for the child and you do not ignore him or her completely. This technique is very helpful especially when you want to help your child know what behaviours are unacceptable. Although, this technique works with almost every child, there are children who demand special level of behaviour management skill.

Usually, children whose behaviour is more challenging - having high level of activity and intensity and relatively low sensitivity to punishments and rewards, make all types of discipline less or even non effective. So, even though you find that time-out did not

When trying to discipline your kid, time-out techniques are more effective than other methods. Get your child acquainted to discipline with these effective time out techniques. The word discipline has different perspectives. In simple words, it means to impart knowledge and skill. When trying to discipline children you need to teach them in the best possible way.


time-out, but 3 years old will have. So, analyzing your child’s ability is the most important thing before you make use of the time-out technique.

2) Remove DistractionsChoose a place that is free of any possibility of

engaging your child.

3) Keep an Eye on HimIsolating a toddler can have some safety issues also.

Be careful.

4) Use a TimerThe exact time of the time-out is important. Once

the time is up, give him or her suggestions on ways how he or she can stay away from this irritating condition. This technique will help the child realize and reflect on what he or she has done.

Teaching children about the right behaviour during specific situations is a tough job. You need to have patience and with perseverance you will definitely see results.

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PARENTING

work some time, you should continue with that, while handling things patiently.

Benefits of Time-Out TechniqueThe best thing about the time-out

technique is that it is non-hurtful. No matter how angry or disagreed you are with your child’s behaviour or activity, you will not hurt him or her. On the other hand smacking or other hurtful punishments usually bring out more negative feelings in the child. Negative emotions like anger, shame and fear get stronger and influence the way of thinking of the child. This, sometimes, has its effect on the child’s entire life. Time-out is unpleasant, yet non-violent and does

not overwhelm children which in turn hamper real learning.

Understand the Principles of Time-Out Technique

It is important to learn the principles of this technique so that you fit it in your style and need.

Remember, time-out means you do not have to pay attention when you use time-out technique. Do not forget that paying attention becomes a form of reward in such situation. Your child will repeat the same behaviour instead of decreasing it in future.

Time-out technique will work only when you spend a lot of time with your kid and involve yourself in his

or her activities a lot. Only then your child will feel the time-out moment.

It is better to avoid talking to your child or even looking at him or her during the time-out period. If he or she slips out and tries to run away, make it a point that you do not ignore. Reset the timer and make him or her sit for the same time period that was fixed.

Make the Technique SuccessfulHere is how you can make the time-out technique work.

1) Weigh-up the Readiness of your ChildA 14 months old child will not

understand or have any effect of


CONCEPTION

For taking right care of yourself during pregnancy, it is essential to understand your pregnant body. Read on to understand what is happening in your pregnant body and pregnancy care tips for having a healthy pregnancy.

Pregnancy involves a lot of changes, both physical and emotional. So it is very important that you are well

aware of the changes taking place within your body and what is causing the same. It is important to have a positive image of your own body and love yourself despite the changes taking place as this will not only make you feel confident but also peaceful from within which is very important for the life growing inside you.

Understanding your developing pregnant body gives you a clear idea on what your body is doing for the little life growing inside you. The changes begin from the point when the egg gets fertilised and gets implanted inside the uterus. The changes are a direct effect of the growth and development of the embryo.

There is a life support system for the foetus which constitutes of the umbilical cord, placenta and the amniotic sac. The required hormones that are necessary for a healthy pregnancy and the well-being of the embryo are produced by the placenta. Besides a string of hormones are also produced by your body that prepares your breasts for lactation after the baby is born. So, these slew of hormonal production and changes in their otherwise existing levels are responsible for all the changes that you notice in your body.

What Other Things Take Place During Pregnancy?

The placenta requires an optimum supply of blood as it needs to fulfill

all the requirements of the growing embryo. This means that your body will have an enhanced blood circulation. Precisely this is the reason behind the “glow of motherhood” that a pregnant woman is accredited with.

There will be an increase in the metabolic activity of your body. This is why you develop the desire to eat a lot and you get those food cravings. This occurs as your body requires a greater supply of nutrients in order to meet both yours and the growing foetus’s needs.

The amniotic sac is the baby’s home. As the foetus develops, the sac will also expand and your uterus will likewise grow bigger. The foetus is surrounded by the amniotic fluid which acts a protection if you happen to get a bump or fall.

Pregnancy Care TipsAs you understand your pregnant

body, it becomes necessary that you take the adequate measures to stay fit and feel better. After all it is your responsibility to take good care of yourself and the life growing within you. Here are a few pregnancy care tips just for you:

Workout – Regular working out under medical supervision and expert advice is good for you and your baby. It not only helps you to build the stamina to bear the rigours of pregnancy, but also keeps the baby fit and healthy along with the fact that you can get back to your earlier shape for comfortable after child-birth. You need to note an important fact here, never begin an exercise program without consultation with your healthcare provider.

Pampering – Feeling good is important, and it comes when you make your body feel good. So go in for ample pampering sessions like body massages and spas. But again note that you consult your doctor on what is safe during pregnancy. Engage in therapeutic activities like practising or listening to music, reading, drawing, painting, dress designing, gardening or whatever is your way to feel good. It can even be shopping or hitting the nearest theatre.

Right Pregnancy Diet – It is very necessary to have right pregnancy diet to make sure that you and baby gets right nutrition during the pregnancy period. You should consult your doctor to find out what you should eat and what you should avoid eating during pregnancy.

Understanding your pregnant body the right way is very important to take right care of yourself during pregnancy. Right pregnancy care is essential for having a healthy pregnancy and giving birth to a healthy baby.

Understand yourpregnant body

Understanding your developing

pregnant body gives you a clear idea on what your body is doing for the little life growing inside you. The changes begin from the point when the egg gets fertilised and gets implanted inside the uterus.

13MOM & DAD - NOVEMBER 2017

PREGNANCY

It is important to get a good sleep during pregnancy for having a healthy pregnancy. Find out the tips to get a good sleep during pregnancy. Sleep disturbances are quite common during pregnancy. In most cases it is caused by physical discomfort and fluctuations in the hormonal levels; which are again coupled with a great deal of stress and anxiety.

With the progress of pregnancy, one finds it increasingly difficult to settle down into

a comfortable position with ease. Besides, one also needs to visit the loo quite often which makes getting a good sleep increasingly difficult. Here are some tips to help you with getting a good sleep during pregnancy:

Set Up a RoutineA comforting routine has always

aided good sleep. The objective is to relax the body to a state that it feels comfortable enough to go off to sleep. Engage in activity that pleases you. It can be listening to soothing music, reading a nice book, taking a warm shower, drinking a cup of warm milk, if it suits your body, or having a massage. All these are activities that induce comfort to the body, and once you start doing them, your body will automatically get the message that it is time to sleep.

Check Your DietCaffeine and alcohol are the

principal causes of insomnia. A well balanced diet can be a key to the solution for a lot of problems.

Make sure that your regular diet has all the necessary nutrients and take supplements of vitamins and minerals as suggested by your doctor. Since nausea is a persistent problem with a lot of pregnant women, they are inclined to grab something to eat whenever hungry or to get over this nauseating feeling. You should surely munch on something, if that is the issue with you, but make note that they are not food elements that can cause heartburn, another cause of

How to get a goodsleep during

pregnancy



PREGNANCY

uneasiness and sleeplessness. Opt for bland snacks like crackers.

Engage in Regular WorkoutsExercise enhances fitness levels to a great

extent. During pregnancy, there can be painful and

discomforting cramps in the legs, which is

another reason for keeping sleep away. Regular workouts as permitted and

suggested by the doctor help a great deal

in dealing with the cramps as they reduce the intensity and pain

of the cramps, thus helping you getting a comfortable sleep. They also improve the

circulation in your system, further helping you to relax. But, make sure that you

exercise during the day and not before bedtime; this will excite the body and the high adrenaline levels with cause sleep to go away!

Keep Stress at BaySome amount of stress and

anxiety is quite natural during pregnancy, a whole lot of thoughts cloud up in the mind that does not allow a peaceful sleep. Worrying will not help, but thinking of practical

solutions will help a lot. So focus on thinking solutions to your problems

and also on the fact that anxiety and stress will only harm your health and

the foetus’s health. If required seek help from a friend, confidante or a counsellor,

who can help you get over the stress. Finally, sleep according to the recommended position.

As you enter the third trimester, it is recommended that you turn on your left as you sleep. This is the optimum position for blood circulation to the uterus, kidneys and the growing foetus. Also make sure that your body has a comfortable setup. You can use the pregnancy body pillows, or even prop up your regular pillow so that your body is well supported. As your body feels relaxed, you will automatically be better equipped to enjoy a healthy night’s sleep.


BABY

As a new parent, comforting your baby is one of your highest priorities, and you may find a pacifier very helpful. Some babies can be soothed with rocking and cuddling and are content to suck only during feedings. Others just cannot seem to suckle enough, even when they are not hungry. If your baby still wants to suck after she has had her fill of formula or breast milk, a pacifier may be just the thing.

the child and quite bothersome to parents as well. Pacifier use may also cause problems with the teeth once they begin to show. Tooth problems generally only occur with prolonged use of the binky. Your child should not be offered a pacifier once he reaches two years of age, but it is a good idea to take it away well in advance of this stage.

Consider both the pros and cons of pacifier use to determine whether it is something that you want to offer your little one. Each family is different, and what is right for their family may certainly not be right for yours.

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR BABY’S PACIFIER USE

If you decide to introduce a pacifier, keep these guidelines in mind:

z Let your baby guide your decision. If she takes to it right away, fine. But if she resists, don’t force it. You can try again another time or just respect her preference and let it go.

A pacifier is not a substitute for nurturing or feeding, of course, but if your baby is still

fussy after you have fed, burped, cuddled, rocked, and played with her, you might want to see if a pacifier will satisfy her.

There is another benefit to using a pacifier: Some studies have shown that babies who use pacifiers at bedtime and nap time have a reduced risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). These studies don not show that the pacifier itself prevents SIDS, just that there is a strong association between pacifier use and a lower risk of SIDS. Also, a pacifier habit

zOffer the pacifier between feedings when you know she’s not hungry. z Avoid using a pacifier to delay your baby’s feedings or as a substitute for your attention. That said, sometimes your baby does have to wait to be fed or comforted (in the checkout line at the grocery store, for example, or in her car seat five blocks from home). In these instances, a pacifier can be a godsend. z Try giving your baby the binky before a nap. (But if it falls out of her mouth while she’s sleeping, don’t put it back in.) When your baby’s fussy, first try to comfort her in other ways, such as cuddling, rocking, or singing. zDon’t tie a pacifier around your baby’s neck or to her crib. She could strangle in the cord or ribbon. It’s safe to attach the pacifier to her clothes with a clip made especially for the job. z Take care of the pacifier. Choose a pacifier that’s safe and appropriate for your baby, and keep it clean by

is easier to break than a thumb-sucking habit.

Soothie, binky, paci - no matter what it’s called at your home, the pacifier is generally that go-to soother that helps lull baby off to dream land, or at least provides you a few minutes of cry-free thinking time. Pacifiers have long been used by parents who wanted to soothe their little ones, with some doctors giving the choice two thumbs up and others saying stay away. It is true that there is a bit of controversy behind the use of the pacifier, but when used correctly it is generally considered safe, and perhaps even beneficial, to your baby. Take a look at some

pacifier?Does your infant need a

of the pros and the cons of using the pacifier.

PROSStudies show that pacifiers

can reduce the risk of SIDS, or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Although researchers aren’t quite sure the connection between the two, however they say that it is

definitely there. When baby is offered a pacifier it solves his craving to suck. This is a natural reflex that all babies are born with. Perhaps you were even lucky enough to catch an ultrasound of your previous baby sucking his thumb! In either case, a pacifier helps satisfy this sensation and generally results in a much happier baby.

Also, babies who are offered a pacifier are better at soothing themselves when upset or sad.

CONS There are a few cons of pacifier

use that you should be aware of before deciding whether you will offer it to your child. One of the biggest disadvantages of pacifier use is that it can interfere with the sucking of the nipple, thus also interfering with baby’s nutrition. Usually this is problematic only for the first couple of weeks of life as baby is getting adjusted, so you might still want to considering offering it a few weeks after birth.

There have been studies that suggest pacifier use can cause an increased number of ear infections. These infections are very painful to


BABY

rinsing it with warm water. Replace it as soon as it shows small cracks or other signs of wear. zDon’t “clean” a pacifier by putting it in your mouth. This is a common thing that mothers do. Adult saliva contains bacteria that can cause cavities in your baby’s teeth as soon as they begin to erupt from her gums. And it’s not a good idea to dip your child’s pacifier in juice or sugar water because this can also lead to cavities.

WHEN NOT TO GIVE A PACIFIER TO A BABY

Do not give a pacifier to a baby who is having problems gaining weight. So if your baby is having difficulty nursing (or if you’re having trouble maintaining your milk supply), it is probably best to do

without a pacifier, at least for now. You’ll also want to consider having your baby go without a pacifier if he’s had repeated ear infections.

But if you have a premature infant who is not gaining enough weight, a binky probably will not have much of an effect one way or another. And using a pacifier may actually protect preemies from SIDS, so talk it over with his doctor before ruling it out.

If you do not want your newborn to have a pacifier at the hospital, tell the nurses ahead of time – especially if you intend to breastfeed. Although a day or two of pacifier use in the hospital won’t be habit forming, it simply doesn’t make sense to introduce something you aren’t going to use at home.

PACIFIERS AND TEETH DEVELOPMENT

Sucking on a pacifier well into the childhood years might threaten proper dental development, but your child probably won’t be at it for that long. During the years when your child is likely to be using a pacifier, she has only her baby teeth. Permanent teeth generally start appearing by age 6.

While your child is unlikely to damage her teeth, jaw, or bite if she stops using a pacifier by the time she’s 2 or 3 years old, using a pacifier beyond age 3 may cause problems. The risk of improper dental development increases the longer your child uses a pacifier, too. If you ever become concerned about this, ask your baby’s doctor or dentist to check that your child’s jaw and teeth are doing fine.


Toddlers find brushing teeth boring so they

seldom get to the habit of brushing their teeth without any fuss. Read

on to know how to get toddlers to brush teeth

willingly.

Some kids get into the habit of brushing their teeth without any fuss, but some are completely

difficult to tackle when it comes to brushing teeth. Even though it is difficult to understand and convince toddlers to do anything, there are some tips and tricks that can work and help toddlers brush their teeth without protest.

Toddlers obviously do not know the importance of keeping their teeth clean and hence it is a real challenge to make a small

kid brush his teeth without any argument. Some kids do not want to get up and brush their teeth immediately or if it is night they do not get ready because they know that they will have to go to bed immediately after brushing teeth. There can be many reasons why small children hate brushing teeth.

Building Good Dental Habits in Children

It is very important you teach your child the importance of

taking proper care of their teeth. If you are able to do this at a young age, you are definitely going to help him or her maintain a good oral health throughout his or her life. The first step is to set an example in front of your child. If he or she watches you cleaning your teeth twice daily and maintaining good dental health, he or she will follow suit.

It is for sure that every child will find brushing teeth boring and monotonous one time or another. It is quite possible that there will be whining, crying or temper tantrum which you have to tackle with patience and strictness. Always keep in mind that you do not have to give in. Instead of forcing your child to brush his or her teeth, you can try some tricks that might help you get the work done without any commotion.

Tips to Make Your Child Brush Teeth without Hullabaloo

Have a quick look at the tips to make your child brush teeth without making a fuss.

1) Start as Early as PossibleIf you start brushing your

toddler’s teeth before he or she has any sense of opposing or accepting activities, you will never have problem making him or her brush teeth on growing-up into a preschooler. It will become a routine that your child will never break in life.

2) Choose the Right Toothbrush and ToothpasteThere are varieties of brands

in the market that sell toothpastes and toothbrushes for kids. Choose the one that is prescribed by your

dentist. You can also make your child choose the toothbrush he or she likes so that he or she enjoys brushing teeth every day after that. Use flavored kids’ toothpaste to ‘entice’

your kid into brushing their teeth willingly.

3) Make Brushing a Fun ActivityYou can play music or sing a

song that your child likes when he or she brushes his or her teeth. Some

children like to brush the teeth of their favorite stuffed doll

or animal before they brush their own teeth.

You can also make up a game of brushing teeth for your child.

4) Make Brushing a Family ActivityYou can brush

teeth when your child brushes or make all

children at house brush their teeth together. This

becomes full of fun and children enjoy every moment.

5) Make a RoutineIt is important to fix the

time of brushing teeth. If you want your child to brush teeth as the

first thing in the morning and the last thing before going to bed, make

sure you maintain consistency.

6) Offer Small RewardsMake a chart that says how

often your child brushed teeth willingly and then fix some reward for a certain number of stars that you give him for that.

Follow the simple tips mentioned here and see how your child takes

care of his or her oral health for the rest of his or her life.

TODDLER

How to get toddlers to

brush teeth willingly

Thumb sucking is one of the habits kids have that is difficult to break. If your preschooler is finding it difficult to kick this habit you should

help her do that. You must learn how you can help your child stop sucking his thumb. The

habit of thumb sucking in older children is quite embarrassing for parents. Try on these

tips to help your child stop the habit and prevent future problems.

PRE-SCHOOL

helping yourThumb sucking:

child stop


Reasons Behind The Habit Infants have the habit of sucking naturally

because it is important for their survival. This causes them to put their thumb or fingers into their mouth. Since this habit is soothing for infants, they tend to opt for this often and hence this turns into a habit till the time they become toddlers. They start sucking thumb when they feel bored, tired or uneasy. Many children suck their thumb while holding something specific in their other hand.

Thumb sucking is one such common habit among kids that can be found in many of the preschoolers.

The habit takes its place in nature unknowingly and starts just to get some comfort and entertainment when kids feel bored. Although, experts are of the opinion that kids get rid of this habit with time, parents get worried when their 5 year old still sucks her thumb.



When Should Parents Intervene?It is believed that thumb sucking

goes off automatically when the child turns 2 or last by 4. But if your child is more than 4 years of age and still sucks her thumb, you need to intervene. However, it is very important you provide proper support to your child and help her get rid of this habit.

You need to take some steps if, z Your child is more than 4 or 5 and sucks her thumb aggressively or nervously z Your child feels embarrassed about thumb sucking

z If thumb sucking is causing speech or dental problems in your child

Tips to Help Child Stop Thumb Sucking

Let us take a look at some tips for helping children stop the habit of thumb sucking.

Offer Positive SupportOffer your child rewards that are

healthy and match with your child’s interests. You can take her out in the park or give her some extra time to play with her close friend if she avoids sucking thumb for a specific period of time.

Figure Out the CauseYour child must be

sucking her thumb due to some reason. If you

figure out that you can easily help your child

break this habit.

Remind Your Child With a Private Code

If your child unknowingly takes her thumb in her mouth especially when she is in public, make

some sign with your hand so that

she understands and takes out her

hand from mouth immediately.

Talk to the DentistSometimes a simple chat

with the dentist might work and your child might get rid of the habit

of thumb sucking.Since thumb sucking is a self-

soothing act, taking out the thumb out of your child’s mouth each time she takes in is not enough. You will have to work on different strategy so that she gets rid of the urge to suck her thumb. Remember, if you try to compel your child to stop the habit, it might backfire and all your effort will go in vain. So, if you are trying to help your child break this habit, you have to be there with support and guidance. You need not pull your child’s hand each time from his mouth or reprimand or nag your child. Experts are of the opinion that children above 5 also want to get rid of this habit because they feel embarrassed as this often leads to teasing, but they need help and support for that.

PRE-SCHOOL


SCHOOL-TIME

In today’s competitive world it is a must for children to have good general knowledge. Are you working on your child’s general knowledge? Read on to find the 10 ways to improve your child’s general knowledge right here.

Children of nowadays begin life with more stress and competition than what our parents used to. Starting from school quizzes to competitive exams later on, general knowledge has become an important part of

the educational system.Though formal education has included general knowledge

as a subject in its curriculum, it is very important for parents to instill a sense of interest in their children. General knowledge should come with both fun and ability, encouraging them to make

mistakes as they learn. So, what could be the ways in which you can make this a happy experience for your child?

1) Watching SportsInstead of limiting their

knowledge to just the more popular sports, tell them about various other sports that are played and their importance. Watching the Olympics on the news is not just a source of entertainment, but it can help them increase their knowledge about countries, capitals, flags and national anthems. There are also many other games by which your child can remember the capitals of different states in the world.

2) Take the Help of a GlobeChildren love visual

demonstration, and a globe helps to understand about the structure of the earth, the lands and oceans, and the innumerable countries with their different cultures. You can help your child choose a place, and you can collect as much information as on it. Ask questions on what you have done after a couple of days to see if he or she remembers it.

3) Use Audio and Video MaterialsComing back to visual

demonstration, look up material on the internet about various things your child should know as per his or her age. After study time, the two of you can sit with a video which explains the solar system, water cycle and the human body in a child-appropriate manner.

4) General Knowledge Books or MagazinesA simple yet effective method, buy

or subscribe to general knowledge periodicals for children which help them learn about many things in a colourful way. Equally useful are

children’s encyclopaedias which make learning fun with the help of clear language and bright illustrations.

5) Quiz ShowsThough not

so regular anymore, you can always enjoy quiz shows with your child on the internet. Past episodes of popular quiz shows can easily be watched on video websites with your child in free time. Encourage him or her to answer, and make his or her participate in family quizzes as well.

6) NewspapersNewspapers are one of the

best things to take help of while investing in general knowledge. If your child is too young to read the newspaper, read certain portions out to him or her. If he or she is a little older, choose a simple paragraph, make him or her circle new words and find out their meanings. This exercise will greatly help in his or her vocabulary and inculcate a habit of reading newspapers.

7) Encouraging your Child to SocializeYour child needs friends not

just to play with but also help her learn about various things on earth, including technology, sports and other important events. Call her friends over to your house for a fun quiz one Saturday morning.

8) Visit MuseumsKenya is a country of culture

and heritage, which counts for the numerous museums across the country. No matter where you stay, take your child on a trip to the museum and let her explore the

Ways to improve your child’s

general knowledge area he or she feels interested in. Be it a history, science or art museum, encourage him or her to talk to the officials and ask questions.

9) Have a Routine and Let Her Ask QuestionsChildren perform better when

they have a specified time for eat, play and study. Similarly, make a timetable for your child and see that she follows it. Encourage him or her to question everything and to find out the answers as much as he or she can.

10) General Knowledge Websites

There are many websites online which can help your child learn about current affairs in a fun and easier way. These websites explore on geography, history, science and literature alike so that your child has a wide exposure of knowledge.

Therefore, your child can know a lot about the world from the resources around him or her such as newspapers, books and the internet. Revise the information he or she has learnt once a week so that he or she remembers it for longer, and becomes a brighter child.


The need of emotional support to teenagers is

immense as they are in a period of transition from

childhood to adulthood. Find out the reasons

why teenagers need your emotional support.

TEEN

The transition from childhood to adulthood happens during the teenage years. This

is a stage when teenagers have this strong urge to forge their own identity and state their individuality, while at the same time they want to remain under the safe cocoon of parental care.

are great in their own personalities and are cared for and respected for who they are. They need a consistent boost to their morale so that their self-esteem does not take a beating from any inconsequential factors.

Enhanced Focus on PositivityWith the extreme vulnerable state

of the teen’s psyche, it is important that the parents act as a support pillar where the teen can fall back on whenever he feels like. Every teen, even if he or she is passing through a difficult phase and you are finding it very hard to deal with him, you will find that there are certain positive attributes in his behaviour and actions. Appreciate them adequately and show how pleased you are that they have this quality in them. This will give rise to an encouragement to follow other positive directive that you provide, but in a subtle manner. Remember strict directives in the form of instruction will only make him more rebellious.

To Help Them Understand Their Mistakes

Many parents end up making the mistake of focusing too much on the

This is surely a tricky time as they want to assert independence and simultaneously cannot bear the situation where they are totally left alone by their parents.

It is a very vulnerable stage as parents need to provide a strong emotional support to the teenager. You need to realize that this is indeed a difficult time as the teen

mistakes committed by the teenager and thinks that punishing them for it in some way or the other will help him not to repeat. But then you find that the teen has turned rebellious and is likely to repeat the action again and again. He sort throws a challenge at you on how far you can go and then tries the limits of your patience big time.

Experts suggest that the best way to deal with mistakes is to take it casually and not make a big deal of it. Give an impression to the teen that you have forgotten it and it does not matter anymore. Then after a passage of some time, say a couple of days later, when you find the teen in his jolly self, start a conversation with him casually. Then you can bring up the topic in a subtle manner and explain how the mistake has caused or has the potential to cause harm to the teen or his family. This way the teen will be in a better position to understand the seriousness and the possible repercussions of the mistake and will make a note that he does not repeat himself. So, without creating a tense atmosphere, you will be able to drive your point home.

Finally, perhaps the most vital point to remember, you must check the words you use in your conversation with your teen. Teens are very sensitive at heart even as much as they try to portray that they are very enduring and are not bothered with anything. Parents always occupy a special place in the heart of the teen and he gets most affected by the way you talk to him and treat him. Always make sure that you show your love and affection towards him and do not be judgmental every time. These will work as the much needed assurance that he will be loved for the person that he is and that you are only concerned about his well-being and not being intrusive or imposing.

is trying his best to cope with the wide array of emotional and physical changes that he is experiencing. All the confusion has their root on this very fact.

Why do Teenagers Need Emotional Support?

Here are some reasons why the teenagers need your emotional support even more.

Protection and Enhancement of Self-Esteem

The status of self-esteem is very subtle and volatile in the teenage years. They are in the constant need for approval from adults and especially their peer group. In every generation, teens want to “fit in” to their peer group. They feel that unless and until they are considered to be a part of their peer group and accepted there, it is a serious issue as per their social status.

We find teens going to any extent and even dabble in undesirable activities, only to ensure that they are considered a part of their peer group. This is why parents need to provide a great deal of emotional support. They need to be assured that they Do teenagers need

emotionalsupport?


INTIMACY

The idea that you can fake a sexual response is often parodied in film and TV. In a blog I read, I found out that there are six identifiable reasons for women to fake orgasm. When they do, it means that they are putting up an artificial barrier between themselves and their partners at precisely the moment when they should be most emotionally open and authentic.

According to a study to find out identity and intimacy in married couples, a model was developed which defined intimacy along the three “C” dimensions of communication, commitment, and closeness. If you are high on the communication dimension, you can talk openly and honestly with your partner. Being high on commitment means that you have made a long-term decision to stay with your partner. High closeness involves feeling that you feel that you’re more comfortable with your partner than anyone else.

Using these three dimensions, you can map the intimacy of any given couple. People high on communication and closeness, but not commitment, enjoy each other’s company but do not feel that they want to (for the moment) decide whether to stick together. Being high on communication and commitment means that you are in a long-term relationship and find it easy to talk to each other, but you don’t feel particularly close now

even though you might have at one time. Finally, being high on closeness and commitment means that you feel that you and your partner are psychologically on the same page, want to stay together, but find it hard to talk to each other at other than a superficial level.

Within this framework, you can see how people can fake intimacy. In relationships characterized by high commitment but low closeness and communication, you have a couple who has decided to remain in the relationship, but it’s a relationship that’s hollow. If communication is high but closeness is low, in a committed relationship, the couple might spend a lot of time discussing such matters as who is picking up the kids after work, what to have for dinner, where to go on vacation, and even when to schedule sex. It is that lack of closeness that leads relationships to be characterized as what we called “pseudo-intimate.”

Things get very complicated when you try to characterize a relationship even with the guidelines of these

At a deeper emotional level, though, the faking of intimacy can be even more problematic for a

relationship. People can love each other in all sorts of ways, from the truly companionate to the superficially infatuated. Intimacy, however, is something else.

From the psychosocial perspective, intimacy is a

developmental issue that must be confronted by young adults after they have established their sense of identity. True intimacy, involves sharing much- but not all- of your identity with your partner. If you think of a Venn diagram, true intimacy would occur when there’s perhaps a 50% overlap between the two circles representing the identity of you and your partner.

Intimacy:A key factor in

relationships


INTIMACY

from your relationship, then all the talking and all the commitment in the world won’t make it a truly intimate bond. If we can fake intimacy, the next question becomes why? To address this, researchers studying the fear of intimacy believe that anxiety is, in part, the reasons that people avoid closeness.

The other component to fear of intimacy is fear of the loss of the self in the relationship. To be truly intimate, you need to feel secure in your own identity. This is what allows you to merge a portion of your identity into the bond with your partner. University of Porto (Portugal) psychologist Maria Pedro Sobal and collaborators divided fear of intimacy into two component: fear of the loss of the other (FLO) and fear of the loss of the self (FLS).

Using an online sample of 276 heterosexual couples (ages 18-55), of whom half were married Sobal and her team examined the match between partners on FLS and FLO as a predictor of relationship

satisfaction. According to similarity theory of relationships, people should be most satisfied if their own fear of intimacy matches that of their partner. Although fear of intimacy should be negatively related to relationship satisfaction, if you and your partner prefer distance rather than closeness, then it should be the match that counts the most in predicting how satisfied you feel with each other.

As it turned out, the answer is that it depends on who you ask. For men, but not women, fearing intimacy doesn’t have to doom their relationship satisfaction. Men high in FLS had higher satisfaction levels if their partners also were high in FLS. Men higher in FLO were more satisfied if their partners were low in FLS.

By analyzing the data in terms of couples, not individuals, were able to examine fear of intimacy as a two-way street. In doing so, they discovered that, for men at least, faking intimacy (being in a committed relationship but not being close) worked best if their partners faked it as well.

To reach the state of wanting to be with a partner but not wanting to be close to that partner may take time. Since this was not a follow-up study, the authors couldn’t study changing patterns over time. It takes effort to work at the closeness within a relationship. If you do not or cannot, it may be inevitable that the intimacy increasingly becomes faked.

People may choose to fake intimacy, but the preponderance of data on couple satisfaction suggests that your long-term satisfaction requires closeness, authenticity, and willingness to take risks with your partner. If you have lost those connections, finding them once again can be your path to fulfillment in your most important close relationship.

three dimensions. However, it gets even more complex when you build into the equation the differing intimacy levels of each partner. One might be high on communication but not the other. Instead of highs and lows on 3 dimensions you are now dealing with highs and lows on 3 dimensions for 2 people.

The most important finding to emerge from our study was the “he said-she said” nature of relationships. People like to see themselves in a positive light and as part of this; they like to see themselves as good partners. It compliments your identity to see yourself, and be seen as, a good partner. Whether this is realistic or not is another question. You may have one view, your partner another, and the researcher or therapist yet a third. No one view is correct. What’s fascinating is the way that people try to present themselves and then how those views contrast with those of their partner.

So it is possible, in this model, to fake intimacy. If closeness is lacking


All relationships can use good couples counseling. Such relationship advice can come from an expert, a close friend or a wise mom. But any form of couples counseling is useless until you’re ready to adopt that advice and apply it to your relationship problems.

RELATIONSHIP

Fighting too much is the core of most relationship problems. The good news is that when we fight with

our partner, it usually means we’re working to better the issues that continue to strain that relationship. When you stop fighting, that’s when the real trouble sets in.

According to Rachel A. Sussman, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship advice expert in New York City, a couple is doomed when they say, “We used to fight a lot, but now we raise our hands and walk out,” It means they’re letting the relationship go, which is what happens before they leave or find an affair.

It is completely normal for couples to argue; even healthy. But what you might not realize is that how you act after the fight can be as important as what you say in the heat of the moment.

Here are tips on making up after that fight.

1) Acknowledge Your Role In Upsetting ThemIf your partner is mad at you for

something you feel you shouldn’t have to apologize for, what should you do? Dr. Hal Shorey, a clinical psychologist in Philadelphia, interviewed by The Wall Street

Journal, suggests saying something like: “I am sorry I upset you. I can see why you feel hurt that I didn’t call you to tell you I was coming home later than expected and I will be aware next time.” Doing so calms angry waters and instantly puts a halt to the escalation of tension.

2) Be Mature, Even If Your Spouse Isn’tIn every relationship, one person

is more mature than the other. And it’s either going to be you or it’s going to be your partner. Psychologist and marriage coach Jack Ito PhD, says: “If you are the more mature one, don’t let your spouse’s lack of maturity bring you down. Let your maturity help to bring your partner up.” And if you were wrong about something, admit it.

3) Never Use the Word “But” In An ApologySaying “I am sorry, but…”

undermines the entire purpose of your apology. You will only upset the other person again and get nowhere.

4) Wait to Talk Until You Both Are No Longer UpsetAdrenaline and stress hormones

are released when you fight. Couples counseling experts always say you

should never want to have a discussion while the other person is still angry. Dr. Shorey warns: “I can’t tell you how many people will think it’s better to say right away: ‘I’m sorry. I was a jerk.’ And the other person says, ‘Yes, you were.’ And then the argument escalates again.” You need time to cool off.

5) Verbalize Your Understanding of How the

Other Person FeelsTry mirroring the other person’s

position by verbalizing your understanding of how he or she feels. This helps you focus on the other person’s needs. For example, you can say: “I understand you are hurt because I went out without you last night.” And ask if you are correct in your assumption. Doing this helps to frame the discussion, giving you and your partner a more

Making up

focus approach to the issue at hand.

6) Forget About Being Right and Defending

YourselfLesli Doares, the author

of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After With More Intention, Less Work says don’t waste your time on the defense. “Once you feel your position is being attacked, your knee-jerk reaction is to defend it. This is exactly the wrong thing to do. Once you defend your opinion, you are tacitly agreeing with your partner that something is wrong with it. In reality, if it can be supported by the facts, your position is as equally

valid as your partner’s. It’s just different.” This is key. Opinions vary. No one is right or wrong. Your job is to arrive to a mutually understanding plane so that your difference of opinion may peacefully coexists.

7) Don’t Focus on the Details of the FightSometimes when we

fight we get so caught up in arguing the petty details that you lose sight of the bigger picture. Think about what’s really important and rather than focusing on the details, focus on how the whole thing made you feel. Express that to your partner in a sincere way. Odds are they will reciprocate your openness in a similar way.

8) Take Turns Really Listening to Each OtherThe most common

problem in relationships is that the other person doesn’t feel ‘heard’ or listened to. When your partner finally expresses themselves, make sure that you stay quiet the entire time they’re speaking and truly listen to what they’re saying. Then repeat back what they said to you. This way, your partner feels heard and hopefully, you’ll get the same respectful treatment back.

9) Meet halfwayCouples counseling

shows us that Love is a game of give and take. A fight means you both want different things. This means you will have to negotiate with one another. In essence, come together to make a decision that feels right for the both of you, and proceed.

10) Accept It Will Take Time to Feel Better

Whatever you do, don’t rush things. Sometimes we need time to process our thoughts and feelings on our own before we are willing and able to express them to others. Perhaps after a period of time to reflect, and when you are both ready, you may see how easy it can be to talk things out without fighting.

11) Monitor Your Progress

If you are taking some time to cool off don’t forget

to set a check-in date for you two to meet and resolve the issues at hand. If you don’t put it on a calendar you risk letting time go by and avoiding the issue completely. Sweeping it under the rug does not resolve anything. Always make sure to close the loop so there is a ceremonial peace accord adopted by each of you.

12) Reassure the Other That It’s Not

OverEven though there

is bad blood between you, and you aren’t sure how to exactly proceed, offer reassuring words. Something like: “I really care about you and I want to work this out.” This offers a white flag of peace in difficult times, and hope that you’re both willing to get past the latest relationship issue.

13) Forgive and Move On

According to Psychology Today’s Andrea Brandt Ph.D., “by forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process—and it doesn’t necessarily have to include the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the person who wronged you; it’s something you do for you.” Wise words we must all keep in mind during a difficult fight with someone you love.

after a fight


Go for a WalkIf possible make it a daily routine to go

with your wife for an evening walk and pay attention to your unborn also along with your wife and her comfort.

Feel the KickingSit with your wife for some time keeping

your hands on her womb so that you come to know immediately when your child kicks inside. Enjoy every movement that you can feel and tell your child you are enjoying everything.

MusicPut on some good and melodious music

and bring your headphones close to your wife’s belly. Research has shown that music helps a lot in every aspect and your child will be healthier and with a positive attitude as well.

Stand-by Your PartnerStand-by your partner and go along

with her on every appointment and attend every class and pre-natal doctor visit you can. Knowledge is power and knowing what to expect will bring a range of positive possibilities to pop before baby even arrives. You don’t need to read every book if that’s not your thing; really, but showing up counts for a lot. Staying involved in the entire process will not only strengthen your bond with your child, but your partner will also have the strength of being well supported by her husband.

Sing According to Deena H. Blumenfeld, Lamaze

Certified Childbirth Educator, babies hear sounds from the outside world at 16 weeks gestation. They also recognize their parents’ voices from the moment they are born. If dad sings to the baby while baby is still in the womb, the baby will know the song, calm and look to dad.

Belly MassageDads can touch or gently massage their

wife’s belly to make a physical connection with their unborn baby throughout the pregnancy.

A father-child relationship is unique one and the bond is stronger if the dad-to be gets connected with the baby before she is born. Here are some tips to help fathers bond with their unborn child.

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If you are a dad-to-be and you are worried about what kind of relationship you would have with your newborn, start

building a strong connection with your newborn much before he arrives in this world. Learn how you can get connected with your child when she is

still in her mother’s womb.It is a general trend that people

concentrate on mother-to-be and give advices to her so that she not only remains healthy and takes care of the health of her unborn, but also builds a special bonding with her child. Well, even though you are not much paid attention at, you can have a strong bonding with your child much before he/she is born.

Always keep in mind that the unique connection between the dad and his newborn is very special. Gone are the days when fathers did not take much interest in the unborn and the newborns. Studies reveal that children are getting even closer to their fathers as compared to moms.

Tips for Dads-to-Be to Bond with the Baby

Today, it is proved that fathers can do much more than just physical act of nursing. In fact, they hold the baby, cuddle, sooth and even change diapers. So, if you want to have a strong bonding with your child, keep in mind the tips mentioned below.

TalkTalk to your baby when she is

in her mother’s womb. You can discuss things just like you were talking to someone you can see. Make planning of the evenings and weekends that you would like to spend with her when she arrives and so on.

DAD CARES

Bonding tipsfor dads-to-be


No matter how old your child is – anywhere from two to twenty-two – if you are doing for him what he could do for himself you are enabling a dependent state of mind. The child who feels dependent seems anxious and whiney. He is demanding. He acts lazy and thoughtless. Being dependent is not a happy condition for him- or for you. Luckily, with a few simple steps, you can change your dependent child into someone who feels capable and strong. Here’s how.

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while at the same time being your very nicest self. It’s also important to be consistent. You can certainly step in when there’s a real emergency but the more consistent you can be with a new approach the easier it will be for your child and for you to make a new habit. Here are some strategies to try.

For your childMeet requests for help with a question

Instead of just responding with the requested help, ask a question that encourages the child to perform on her own. For example, if your four-year-old wants help to put on her jacket, say, “Here’s your jacket! Which arm goes into which sleeve, do you think?” If your child insists that you drive him a short distance to play at a friend’s house, and you think he could walk instead, ask “I wonder how many steps it is to Brian’s house?” or “I wonder how quickly you could walk there…” and suggest he walk and then report back.

Be pleasant and supportiveIt’s tempting to try to hurry things along by

telling your child he’s a big boy now or that he’s acting like a baby. This isn’t very encouraging to any kid and it’s also not fair. Remember you’ve created this little dependent person. Calling him names now or acting mean is blaming him for your own misguided actions. Instead, be as pleasant and supportive as you can be. Sympathize when he tells you it’s too hard or he doesn’t know how. Let him know you have confidence in his abilities.

Act as a support If you’ve been doing a lot for your child you

might discover that she truly doesn’t know how to do some of the things you think she should know. But instead of stepping in again to do it for her, take the time to show her how to do the task herself. If the task is complicated, you might scaffold it by doing the hardest parts and letting her do the easier ones. So if your thirteen-year-old asks you do iron her shirt, say, “Let’s do it together.”

Trust your child’s instincts. If your child thinks he can, he probably can. Let him try. This is often the hardest part – knowing when to step back and watch. You could do whatever

BEYOND PARENTING

Two people have to change – your child and you. Depending on the age of your child and how long

this has been going on, your job of replacing old habits with new ones might be simple or more challenging. But this change happens just one day at a time, even one event at a time.

The key is to start being less available and less accommodating

Being asupportive parent


mistakes. But imperfectly done-all-by-myself is almost always more satisfying to a child than perfectly done-by-Mom-while-I-just-watched, especially if you haven’t made perfection the standard in your household. Let your children grow into their abilities by letting them try. Abandon “perfect.” Helping children become more confident and competent is joyous work. It’s far more fun than doing everything for them every moment of the day. If you’ve been enabling dependency, now is the time to kick back a bit and have a good time together.

it is so much more quickly and easily and maybe more successfully. But your child will probably do well enough and will learn and grow by trying. Recently my son offered to help his three-year-old snap some Lego together. She said, “No. I want to do it myself.” Dad wisely backed off and, yes, she did it!

For yourselfYou are the second half of the

equation. Changing your child’s habit of relying on you is just part of the work. If you hover because you have time to hover, get busier. While your world might indeed revolve around your children, make sure that you don’t seem to them to be living in their shadow. Don’t always be at their beck and call. If you do things for your child because it’s quicker and simpler, slow down. Factor in the time it takes your preschooler to get her

shoes on all by herself. She will get faster with practice. Yes, you’re busy and, yes, children are slower than you would be at just about everything. But taking the time to help them learn to be more self-reliant is part of your job as a parent. Slow down enough to do just that. If you hover because you’re anxious for a perfect outcome, work on taking the long view. Just as children are not very fast, they also are not so perfect. Naturally, they make

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BEYOND PARENTING

dependent. Occasionally, a particular fear may persist into adulthood. This is more likely to happen if the fear is in response to an experience. For example, a child who is bitten by a spider may grow up to retain his dislike of spiders.

Sometimes, a fear begins to take a greater hold over the child. If the fear becomes intense and causes severe reactions, it is classified as a phobia. The difference between a fear and a phobia is that the phobia cannot be tolerated. If the child encounters the object or event causing the phobia, he experiences extreme anxiety. This anxiety can become a source of distress to the child as well as the other family members.

Determining if the Child Has a Phobia

Parents usually cannot distinguish when a child is suffering from a phobia. However, there are a few ways to determine how much a particular fear is affecting the child. The first question to ask is if the fear is age-appropriate. Fear is a part of normal development; hence, it should not be ignored. If the fear is

All individuals are afraid of something or the other. Fear is a natural reaction to certain stimuli. Fear

is an important feeling because it teaches children that certain objects or events are unsafe. For example, a child who is afraid of being burnt is not likely to play with matchsticks or start a fire. The experience a child gains in dealing with his fears enables him to improve his decision-making skills, as he grows older. It helps him to distinguish between what is safe and what he needs to avoid.

Identifying FearsHaving fears is a normal response

to situations. It is a necessary part of growth for a child. However, not all children experience the same fears. Even for one child, fears depend on his age, maturity level, etc. In many cases, the fear is in response to an external stimulus. Fears keep changing, as a child grows older.

z A baby will have ‘stranger fear’. When the baby is approached by people he does not know, he tends to cling to his parents. z A toddler suffers ‘separation fear’. If he is separated from one or both parents for a few hours, he may become distressed emotionally. z A child below seven usually fears unreal things such as monsters under the bed or ghosts in the cupboard. These fears are usually a manifestation of another fear like being afraid of darkness. z Between the ages of eight and twelve, a child’s fears deal with real circumstances such as physical injury, failing exams, and natural disasters.

When Fears Turn into PhobiasAs a child becomes older, a fear

may disappear completely or be replaced by another one. This is mostly seen with fears that are age-

the same as that experienced by other children of his age, chances are the fear will diminish with time. Therefore, there is no real cause for concern.

Another point to consider is how the fear affects the child’s daily life. Phobias have a tendency to create havoc in a child’s personal, academic, and social life. If it is possible to minimize how much contact the child has with the fear stimulus, it may help him deal with the fear. Fear can sometimes be conquered by a simple change in the child’s daily schedule. For example, say the child is displaying a fear of dogs because he is afraid of a particular dog on his way to school. If his route to school is altered, the child will not come in contact with that dog anymore and he will no longer be afraid. However, if the child has a phobia of dogs, this step will not make him feel less afraid of the animals.

Most phobias do not need any special help since the child himself is able to deal with them. However, if a phobia affects a child’s daily life, he many require professional help to deal with it. Getting rid of a phobia

FEATURE

Phobias inchildrenA fear is just a condition of your mind and a phobia is an intense, persisting fear. A fear for a child may keep on changing as he or she grows. Learn how some childish fears turn into phobias and a relationship between phobia and fear.

43MOM & DAD - NOVEMBER 201742 MOM & DAD - NOVEMBER 2017


merely involves finding a strategy to overcome the situation.

MANAGING THEIR FEARSYou have to understand that

your child’s early fearlessness stems from the fact that ignorance is bliss. What they don’t know can’t hurt them. This is why the same child that cheerfully put her hand between the jaws of a dog, will later run away screaming at the sight of a barking dog. Somewhere along the way she has learnt that dogs can bite. As the child grows

is scared of the dark you can indulge her by leaving her bedroom door open or leaving a night light on. Keep her well occupied with games and other activities throughout the day so that she has no time to brood on her fears. In time, she will realize that there is nothing to fear.

Tangible fearsSometimes children develop

fears of tangible things like dogs, cockroaches, cars, men in uniforms, etc. It is not necessary for the child to have had a frightening experience with any of the objects of their fears. It will certainly not help to coerce them to overcome their fear by forcing them to confront the objects of their fears. There is a good chance that dragging your screaming child towards a dog or throwing her into a

older, her imagination and curiosity develop side by side. She learns the potential dangers of certain actions and objects and the reasons why it is so. As she makes these connections, her awareness makes her cautious and sometimes frightened.

swimming pool is going to backfire. Children most often outgrow these fears themselves. Sometimes they find that acting out the fear, like pulverizing a stuffed toy dog, is therapeutic.

Fear of deathSome children are scared of death

and dying. They cannot understand what happens to their pets or people who die. This is not surprising as adults themselves are confused by death. Adults themselves find it difficult to comprehend the finality of it all and its relation to life. So how do you explain it to a child? Some parents choose to explain death in religious terms. They tell their child that the deceased has gone up to God in heaven. On the other hand, parents can just deal with death by saying that

It has been observed that these fears develop more often in children for whom feeding and toilet training have been contentious issues, or in those who have overprotective parents or who have been regularly warned or cautioned against doing certain things. On the other hand, some children are just born sensitive.

Fear of the darkFear of the dark is one of the

most common childhood fears. This is also a fear that adults

can most easily identify with. The average adult is not as confident and even a little shaky in the dark. The lack of the ability to see clearly acts as a spur to the imagination leading most people to imagine that somebody is creeping

up on them. If your child

the person was old, weak and too tired to go on living. It is important that parents maintain a casual air and reassure their child that they will be around for years and years to come.

A positive approachAlways keep in mind that while

you may not understand the child’s fear, it is very real to her. Ridiculing the fear or chastising your child for being a coward is not going to make the situation any better. Encourage her to talk about her fear. You must instill confidence in her by assuring her that nothing bad is going to happen and that you are right by her side. While it is important to be sympathetic, do not overdo it. Your child may get the message that her fears are justified.

FEATURE



So if you don’t want to lose friends or alienate family members, it is vital to come up with some ground rules. The borrower needs to have a

written plan for how they will repay the debt, the repayment schedule and some sort of collateral just in case. The lender also needs to know exactly how much they can afford to put up — and take into account that you may not

get it back as soon as you would like or (worst case scenario) at all. And for the sake of both parties, always have a written, signed and (even better) notarized agreement.

Peer loans can also affect your relationship in a number of unexpected ways. It could create a dynamic where the borrower feels constantly indebted and the lender feels owed, which creates resentment on both ends. When you loan money to friends or family members, ensuring repayment can be difficult. Lenders often feel awkward asking their friends or relatives to pay up, and borrowers may be embarrassed for their slow repayment of personal loans. If you cannot pay the money back, you could find yourself avoiding the lender. Likewise, the lender could wind up avoiding the borrower because they feel uncomfortable asking to be paid. It is all too easy to put these kinds of loans at the bottom of your payment list because you know they are not going to report you to a credit bureau or charge penalties. It is essential to maintain open communication and never borrow or lend to someone with whom you have unresolved issues

As a result, both parties might clam up and avoid each other, often leading to strained or explosive relationships.

Don’t allow your feelings of discomfort to keep you from broaching the topic of the overdue personal loan with your friend or family member.

Unless you ask, you will never know what he or she is thinking. Maybe the loan was forgotten, or maybe he or she has plans to pay when the person receives a bonus at work next month. You’ll both feel better if you simply get the conversation going. Talk in person or send an email if you prefer, and most importantly, be honest. If you

were really trying to help someone, and you let your emotions get ahead of your bank account, you should explain that to your friend.

If you don’t, they may assume you just really wanted to help more than you wanted to get repaid. Honesty is a good policy here because when you made the loan, you probably weren’t as honest as you need to be now.

Pros and cons of borrowing from family and friends

z Borrowing from a family member can provide emergency money and help you avoid forms of borrowing with very high interest rates, such as payday loans and doorstep lending. z If both parties are certain it will not harm a relationship with a family

member if you don’t repay, this is a good option as it is normally interest free. z If you’re borrowing from a friend, be aware that if you don’t repay, this could end the friendship.

What will you do if the borrower can’t pay?

You might be confident the person you’ve lent money to will be able to pay it back in full, but you still need to consider what you’ll do if they can’t.

This is a deeply personal decision but one you should think about before handing over any cash, no matter how sure you’re that they will repay you.

In today’s economy, instead of looking to banks, more people are seeking alternatives like peer-to-peer loans, crowd-funding or family and friends when they need to borrow money.

FAMILY FINANCE

Friends and familyloan etiquette


WHAT TO CONSIDER BEFORE LENDING MONEY

If a friend or family member asks for financial help, it can be really hard to refuse. But there’s no point getting into difficulties yourself because you want to help, or because you feel bad about saying no.You also don’t want to lose a good friend or fall out with a family member because of money.

So here are some important things to consider before lending any cash.Can you afford it?Take the time to work out your own budget before lending to anyone.Can they afford it?Don’t be embarrassed to encourage the would-be borrower to work out their budget as well. It will be less awkward to do so before you lend them money than once they find themselves in difficulties.


FAMILY FINANCE

If you are trying to achieve better money habits, it all comes down to playing hardball with yourself. First it takes recognizing episodes of emotional spending, years of an unkempt bookkeeping and an unwillingness to save.

I f you pinch a penny here and pinch a penny there, eventually you will save up for a rainy day. And that

doesn’t mean you have cut your monthly expenses by half or live like a miser either. No savings is too small since it all adds up eventually.

Renowned financial planner, Suze Orman, says: “There’s only one way to turn your situation around, spend less and or earn more and spend less.” If you´re in debt, Orman recommends paying two to three times the minimum due on your credit card bills each month. “You’ll pay down debt faster. Plus, pay for things in cash and get as much pleasure out of saving as you do spending. And finally, live below your means but within your needs,” adds Orman. Does your hard- earned money need to be patrolled? Here are ways to exercise better money habits.

1) Spend Money you Actually HaveOne of the best money

management tips we can give you is to work with a budget based on your net income (i.e. your income

7) Use Your bank’s ATMsSome banks will charge you

around for using a machine other than theirs, in addition to the standard charge for its use. Do the math: That’s additional expenses. If you do that five times a month, you are losing money!

8) Eat What’s in the HouseAnother one of our favorite

money management tips is to plan creative meals around what’s

after taxes, healthcare costs and other expenses have been deducted from paycheck). Then spend with caution.

2) Borrow an Outfit, Don’t Buy ItIf you need a dress for a

wedding or a special event, ask a friend if you can borrow something. Borrow the item for a few hours, launder it and save.

3) Don’t Rely on Credit CardsFreeze those credit (put

them in a bowl of water and into the freezer!) cards or cut them up. And avoid credit card cash advances or loans from friends or family each month. Aim for a “cash only” or a “mostly cash” budget.

4) Use the “Need or Want” TacticBefore you whip out your wallet

ask yourself, “Do I really need this, or do I just want it? Waiting a day to decide on whether to buy it will also tame the urge and bring you to your senses.

5) Review Your Monthly Budget Review and update a

monthly budget regularly, logging

already in your pantry, refrigerator and freezer. This approach significantly reduces your grocery bill. And doesn’t waste food.

9) Save in your Entertainment and Dining PleasuresCan you borrow that novel you

want to read from the library and not buy it? You can skip going to the Cinema once in a while and opt for watching movies in the house instead. If you buy lunch every day,

your expenses to make sure you’re staying within your budget. By constantly evaluating your budget, you will also get a more realistic sense of much you are spending on basic expenses and luxury items.

6) Lower Credit Card BalancesKeep chopping away at those

pesky balances until you get to an amount that is reasonable.

you could cook and pack some for work the next day.

10) Kick the Emotional Spending Habit

Introspection can be very helpful for overcoming any type of spending addiction. Practice mindfulness each time you find yourself upset and running for the nearest shopping mall and tell your friends and family to keep an eye out on you.

Good money

habits


Both local and international tourists have talked about its rich culture and history. It is indeed an ideal

destination for any adventurer out there. There is a wide range of things

such as the ‘Hat Competition’, where Lamu residents are challenged to design the most special and spectacular hat of the island. These events attract a lot of local people and it is great to be a part of this enthusiastic crowd. If you would like to visit one of these festival or event we recommend to go to the information center in Lamu Town or surf around on the internet in order not to miss anything!

to do in this magical island and we highlight the best.

1) LAMU CULTURAL FESTIVALThe Lamu Cultural Festival,

held in November every year is a

great local and international tourist attraction which promotes the Swahili culture. This would be the perfect time to visit the place since you will be in the company of other tourists. There will also be an array of activities to take part in at this time.

New Year is celebrated each year with a spectacular Dhow Race in which sailors compete for the honor of being the best sailor of the island.

There are also lots of fun events

2) VISIT CULTURAL ATTRACTIONSLamu Museum: Learn and

understand the culture and history of Lamu.

Lamu Fort: Enjoy a guided walking tour as you learm more about when and why the fort was built.

Donkey Sanctuary: Learn about the more than 3.000 donkeys that live in Lamu. The donkey sanctuary is a special project to take care of the old and almost terminal donkeys and to

improve donkey treatment both local and worldwide.

Swahili House Museum: Learn about traditional Swahili life.

3) SAIL AWAY!What’s the point of being in an

island and not sailing? Enjoy Dhow trips at a fee as you sail along the Lamu Archipelago. For the lovers of water sports, you can also have a surfing session or go snorkeling.

You have probably heard of this island being referred to as ‘Lamu Tamu’ directly translated to sweet Lamu. Lamu is an island at the northern coastal area of Kenya, close to the Somali border.

TRAVEL

Must do activitiesin Lamu

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Make sure you catch the sunset during this ride. Magical!

4) EXPLOREFor some

adventure, carry your camera and go exploring the old town. The narrow streets, architecture, simple way of living, all these are worth experiencing and documenting. You will walk pass houses with large and tall wooden doors, open verandas, curved balconies and beautiful decorative paintings and furniture.

5) BEACH WALKSAs the day

winds up you could take relaxing walks on the beach as you watch the sunset. Manda Island which is just across Shela village is known to have the best spots for watching the sunset.

6) ENJOY SWAHILI CUISINELastly, you cannot

leave Lamu without experiencing the Swahili cuisine. From Biryanis and curries, coconut rice with mango chutney, and most of all the varied seafood. Make sure you visit the local fish market and have a fresh catch prepared for you. All these breathtaking activities will keep you coming back for more.

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Terms and conditions apply. Barclays Bank of Kenya Limited is regulated by the Central Bank of Kenya

Whether it’s a home loan for your firsthouse or upgrading to a second one,own it.

Call us today on 020 390 00000722 130 120 / 0732 130 120

Own it. Prosper.

Let them play in in their own home


Hanging planters has been around for a very long time. Today, you will still find hanged plants in homes, meaning this trend is not going anywhere anytime soon. If you’re yearning to create your own private Babylon indoors, hanging planters are all you need. They can even provide modern, industrial spaces with a touch of old-fashioned tranquility. Gardening experts say that hanging baskets of plants can also give us a “spiritual uplift”, which makes us all feel a lot better.

HOME

bathroom is a great place for house plants thanks to the humidity and warmth they provide. If your bathroom has low-lighting opt for a philodendron or spider plant. Ivy can grow in shadier places as well. If you are lucky to have a bright and sunny bathroom, try some lush tropical plants.

How you hang them, and at what lengths, is up to you. Whether you’re drawn to a 70’s macramé hanging planter with a cord basket or metallic planters for more a more mod look, there are many has hanging plant ideas to work with. Perhaps the

trickiest part about keeping your indoor hanging jungle verdant is knowing how to water them correctly. The last thing you want to do is ruin your hardwood floors or white rug with constant water and soil spills. In comparison to plants kept near ground level, your hanging plants will also need a little more water since hot air rises and tends to be drier at higher levels. The best option for indoor water drainage systems are a pot within a pot system or an attached tray system.

The pot within a pot has an easy set-up and allows you to easily take out your hanging plants. The outer

basket is completely sealed and has chains or a rope fastened directly to it for hanging. Just place a potted plant inside and you’ve got yourself a hanging garden. Aside from its weight, the major disadvantage here is the difficulty in reaching over the outside of the pot while watering.

If you chose to go with a very large, heavy basket, attach it to a pulley system that allows the entire basket to be lowered for watering. If this seems easier said than done, whip out a step-ladder and watering can with a long neck instead.

Then there’s the lighter

and more economical attached tray system for hanging plants. Most plant stores will sell you a plastic basket that comes with an attached drip trap, along with wire or rope attached to the basket itself. The drawback with this system is that small drip trays allow for very little room for overwatering. Add a little too much water and you end up with muddy water on your furniture or floors. With these precautions in mind, you’re now ready for your own Garden of Eden, away from the roar of traffic and the haze of exhaust fumes right outside your cozy window.

You may opt for beginning with a lush, trailing ivy or a Fern for a corner ceiling in your living room or above a

reading chair in your bedroom. Then you might consider hanging a line of ferns over a long table or hallway. Another idea is hanging a series of small planters with herbs like basil, parsley, oregano, thyme and mint for an indoor herb garden in your kitchen or dining area.

Ferns, which are perhaps the most popular hanging planters, are happiest close to a window where they receive lots of light, though they should not get direct sunlight. The

planters in your homeHanging


Makena will not send her eight-year old son on the school bus because she has heard that the bus drivers drive rashly. Catherine on the other hand, does not allow her twelve-year old daughter to sleep over at her

friends’ houses because she feels that she is not sure if other parents will provide adequate supervision. Lynn did not allow his daughter to go on a

school picnic to the beach for fear that she may drown.

HOMEFRONT

Overprotective parents unintentionally harm their children. By being overtly protective they

do not let their children grow into a confident and independent adult. Children learn from their mistakes, and by being overprotective parents suppress this learning process. Such parents should change their attitude. Learn how.

When a child is born, it seems so fragile, feeble and tiny that it is only natural for parents to feel protective. Parents feel responsible for these tiny creatures that they have brought into the ‘big, bad world’ and intend to be their guardian angels for the rest of their lives. Parents want to shield

their children from all conceivable harm, but for how long and to what extent? Parents need to remember that children do grow up. They cannot expect their children to hold ‘mummy or daddy’s’ hand forever as they make their way through life. Children do not tiptoe through life, they romp, they run, they jump, and they explore. Given this scenario, parents should accept that scratches, cuts, bruises, and broken limbs are all a part of childhood. Parents who constantly run interference between their children and the real world are actually doing more harm than good.

Inappropriate fears

This does not mean that

children are the best judges of the risk involved in any activity or that parents should not be cautious. But how does a parent know if he or she is being unnecessarily fearful for his or her child’s safety? Parents who view every physical activity as being potentially dangerous; those who only feel reassured when their children are under their watchful eyes; those who are more anxious than their children that something will go wrong; those who hover over their children constantly giving instructions; those who rule out all activities that have an even remote possibility of resulting in an accident; those who feel that their children cannot cross a road without being

Cons of

parentingoverprotective


on her own for the first time, it is a great accomplishment, even if it is something as insignificant as learning to ride a bicycle. Parents who wrap their children in cotton wool, in a manner of speaking, are denying their children this pleasure.

Over-protectiveness with older children

Older children most often do not perceive parental overprotectiveness as stemming from love and concern. They believe that their parents just do not trust them to be sensible and responsible. Older children can react to their parents’ excessive fear in one of two ways: compliance or resistance. If parents voice their fears in terms of doubts, e.g. “Are you sure you can do it?” or give them dire warnings of the worst case scenario, it can result in the children giving up the idea or activity altogether because they too begin to doubt their capability. On the other hand, children can react with defiance.

Parents of such children begin to lack credibility in their children’s eyes because they seem to have an extreme view that the world in general is a dangerous place. They feel that they are denied the normal pursuits of their peers merely because their parents have unfounded and baseless fears. Such children react with resistance because they believe that their parents perceive them as being accident-prone and having poor judgement.

How to be less overprotecting: Establishing lines of communication

Overprotective parents should change their attitude if they want their children to grow up as independent, confident adults. If a parent suspects that he is excessively protective, fearful and inhibiting, then

as a first step, he should confirm his doubt by asking the other parent for an opinion. In the case of a single parent, he can share his concerns with someone equally concerned for the child’s welfare or even other parents. This will act as a reality check. While he need not adopt other people’s opinions as gospel truth, the advice and information will help him make an informed decision about what is safe for his child.

The second step he should take is listening to his child. He should try to convey to his child that his caution stems from concern for the child’s safety and not from a lack of trust in the child’s competence. He could discuss the dangers of the activity with the child and advise him what to do in case of an emergency. He should make judgments based on an assessment of the child’s overall

competence and judgment. Despite adopting these measures,

there may still be several occasions where a parent may still deny his child permission to participate in an activity. But this is a parent’s prerogative and has the weight of experience and superior judgment behind it. What is safe and acceptable for one child may not be so for another. At the end of the day, parents are the best judges of what activities are acceptable for their children in terms of safety. However, the child will realize that while she may be denied this particular pleasure, there will be other activities that will be permissible. What is safe and acceptable will always be a bone of contention between parents and children, but the important thing is for parents to realize that sometimes they just need to let go.

HOMEFRONT

run over or go out alone without being abducted are parents who could be said to have inappropriate fears.

Downsides of being Overly Protective

Parent’s fears for their children’s safety, if extreme, can have an adverse effect on their children’s confidence and self-esteem. By molly-coddling a child, a parent is only making the child more

dependent and inhibiting her attempts to learn to do things by herself. Overprotective parents unintentionally send out a message to their children that they are incapable of handling things by themselves. In addition, the parents’ fears transmit themselves to the children who, in turn, begin to perceive dangers lurking in every new activity and experience. It has been observed that children have fewer falls, tumbles and injuries

when left to play by themselves than with parents constantly cautioning them, and ready to leap forward at the slightest sign of danger. Parents who fear that an activity may be risky should warn their children beforehand rather than while they are engaged in the activity. Else, the warnings merely serve to transmit the fear to the children and distract them, leading to a greater probability of an accident.

When a child does something


STYLE

1) ComfortPlatform stilettos might make

you feel a little sexier and a lot taller, but what you gain in stature you lose in agility. And your feet will definitely pay the price later. Pair your pencil skirt with sleek brogues and you’ll be amazed at the extra ground you can cover.

2) VersatilityWomen’s flats run

the gamut from dainty and delicate to rough

and rugged. Sky-high Louboutin’s don’t have nearly the range.

3) Kid-FriendlyYou don’t need to

be a mom to know that it’s a million times easier to chase a toddler in flats. Not to mention lugging baby

gear and shuttling the gang from one activity to the next. Now you can be mobile and on-trend!

4) DancingSlip on a pair of super chic

metallic high-tops with your ball gown and you’ll be dancing till dawn and ready to run a 10k tomorrow.

5) Statement FlatsJust because your shoe doesn’t

have a dramatically statuesque heel does not mean it has to be dull or demure. From snakeskin brogues with a Perspex sole, to chic ankle boots, to colorful ankle strap flats, you’ll make a statement without saying a word.

6) Glamorous Pool SlidesGlammed up pool slides and

fancy Birkenstocks were paired with frilly skirts and formal wear on fall runways. It’s never been easier to be stylish and comfortable.

at shoesflare here to stay

Why


INSURANCE

Marine Insurance is mandatory.Choosing the best is advisable.For comprehensive and affordable marine insurance delivered locally with minimum hassle, contact KCB Insurance Agency today.

You can depend on us to deliver.

Contact us today on:0711 087 000 or 0732 187 000Email: [email protected] by the Insurance Regulatory Authority

7) Fashion SneakersFashion sneakers are definitely

hanging around for a while. They are the comfy shoe that retains your diva-ness, keeping your fashion soul and your actual sole content.

8) Flats Go FormalBejewelled, pointed-toe flats,

metallic high tops, and slick Dr. Martens dress up beautifully. Even if you don’t quite have the nerve to forego heels on really formal occasions, you can dip a toe in the

dressed-up flat trend for cocktails and take it from there.

9) Ballet FlatsThe ballet flat is a perennial

classic with skirts, trousers or gamine-style with pegged and rolled jeans.

10) Riding BootsAnother wardrobe staple,

the knee-high riding boot is a must-have women’s flat. Paired with skirts, they’re casual chic. With leggings and an oversize sweater, they’re laid-back elegance.

11) Brogues & LoafersThese menswear-

inspired shoes are anything but masculine with vibrant color, glitzy embellishments and loads of style.

12) Over-the-Knee BootsYou really can never have

too many pairs of boots. And we love over-the-knee boots as the perfect fall transition shoe. Wear them with or without stockings, over skinny jeans, under skirts. They are cool, comfortable and undoubtedly here to stay for a while.

STYLE


HEALTH

If your kid is turning into a couch potato, it is the time now to take a stance and get your couch kid moving with these simple ways.

With the development of technology and availability of pastime activities inside the

home, most of the kids have turned into couch potatoes. Read on to learn how you can motivate your kid to exercise or have some outdoor games or activities so that he becomes fit and healthy.

There is so much entertainment today that the kids do not find the urge to play outdoors. This is the reason for the increasing percentage of unhealthy or overweight children worldwide. The blame can be put on advancement in science and technology which has made the lifestyle of kids sedentary as they

are mainly engaged in surfing the internet, playing video games, watching TV shows and many more indoors.

It is important to motivate kids to get some physical exercise so that there is proper balance maintained in life. Obesity leads to varieties of diseases like cardiovascular problems, diabetes,

bone and joint problems, social and psychological problems, sleep apnoea and even cancer. So, you have to encourage your child to have a healthy lifestyle. However, you can persuade your child to get active with the help of following tips and ideas.

Tips to Help Your Couch Kid to Exercise

Let us take a look at some tips to help your couch kid to exercise.

1) Explain Importance of ExerciseTalk to your kid about

the significance of exercise.

Kids follow advice only when they understand why the thing is good for them.

2) Set a Good ExampleKids who see their

parents exercising go out and exercise because majority of the kids follow their parents naturally.

3) Make Exercise a Family ActivityYou can have some

time allocated for outdoor activities like playing games or simply going on family walks. You can also make a routine of exercising together and stick to it. You can even talk about it and plan out together so that your child finds you a model of what you value.

4) Make a RoutineExercising or taking

deep breaths once in a while is not going to do any good. You have to make sure that your child gets going for at least 60 minutes for 5 to 6 days a week.

5) Make it FunExercising becomes

boring if fun is not added to it. You can add music or make the activity enthusiastic so that your child finds everything interesting and enjoys her outdoor session. If your child is not interested in sports, you can opt for dancing, swimming, martial arts or something that is related to your child’s interests.

6) Fix Couch TimeMake sure your

kid spends maximum 1 or 2 hours in front of TV, computer or video games. Also, do not allow your kid to be glued to their phone all day.

7) No Morning TVMorning is rush

hour and you might find yourself having some extra time if your kid watches TV at that time. Well, this can set a sedentary pattern and you must avoid this.

8) Make Time for ExerciseIf your child does not

find time for exercise, cut down her sedentary activities and make a fixed time for exercise for her.

9) Give Them Right ToolsGive your children ball,

kites, jumping ropes and such playthings that make them move around right from the time they start moving around. This will encourage physical activity from the beginning.

It is never too late to get started. So, plan and motivate your child to start engaging herself in some or the other physical activity. After all, health is one of the most important things in life. If your child is not interested in sports, you can keep her physically active through individual activities that are away from competition.

to get yourWays

‘couch kid’ moving

9


Sunny side up

Baked egg in avocado

Fried egg in a pepper

How do you like

FOOD DELIGHT

Ingredients z 2 ripe avocados z 4 fresh eggs z 1/8 teaspoon pepper z 1 tablespoon chopped chives

Directions z Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. z Slice the avocados in half, and take out the pit. Scoop out about two tablespoons of flesh from the center of the avocado, just enough so the egg will fit snugly in the center. z Place the avocados in a small

baking dish. Do your best to make sure they fit tightly. z Crack an egg into each avocado half. Try your best to crack the yolk in first, then let the egg whites spill in to fill up the rest of the shell. z Place in the oven and bake for 15 to 20 minutes. Cooking time will depend on the size of your eggs and avocados. Just make sure the egg whites have enough time to set. z Remove from oven, then season with pepper, chives, and garnish of your choice. Enjoy!

Ingredients z 1 teaspoon olive oil z 2 large eggs z Toast, for serving, optional z Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions zHeat the oil in a medium nonstick skillet over low heat until slightly shimmering, about 5 minutes. z Crack an egg into a small ramekin and slowly add it to the skillet; repeat with the other egg, adding it to the other side of the skillet. z Cover with a tight lid and cook, uninterrupted, until the whites are completely set but the yolks are still runny, 2 to 2 1/2 minutes. z Slide the eggs out of the skillet onto a plate or toast. z Season with salt and pepper.

Ingredients z 1 tablespoon olive oil z 3 bell pepper rings (1/3-inch thick) z 3 large eggs z¼ teaspoon salt z¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Directions zHeat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat, about 4 minutes. z Add the bell pepper rings. Cook 1 minute on each side. z Crack an egg into each bell pepper ring. Lower heat to medium-low. Cook until whites are set, 5-10 minutes. z Season with salt and pepper, and serve.

your eggs?


Q: Mr. Black lives in a black house, Mr. Brown lives in the brown house and Mr. Green lives in the green house. Who do you think lives in the white house?A: Obviously, the President.

Q: What happens when you throw a blue rock into the yellow sea?A: It will sink.

Q: Which tree can you carry in your hand?A: A palm

Q: What is that goes up but never comes down?A: Age.

Q: A yellow house is made out of yellow bricks and a red house is made out of red bricks – so what is a green house made up of?A: Glass - It is a glass

building where plants are grown to protect it from the cold weather.

Q: If I do not share it, I have it, but the moment I share it, I don’t have it - . What is it?A: A Secret.

Q: What stays in one spot, yet travels round the globe – what am I?A: A postage stamp.

Q: What has a face, two hands but does not have any arms or legs?A: A clock

Q: A horse is on a 20 foot chain and wants to get an apple that is about 30 feet away. How do you think the horse can reach the appleA: The horse may be on a 20 foot chain but the chain is not fixed to any post.

Q: What is it that occurs once in one minute, twice in a moment but never in a thousand days?A: The letter “M”

Q: Which word not only begins with “E” but also ends with “E”, but only has a letter?A: An envelope

Q: What has one eye but is unable to see?A: A needle

Q: Which item weighs more, a kilo of bricks or a kilo of feathers?A: They both weigh the same as both of them weigh one kilo.

Q: What is that goes up a chimney down but is unable to come down a chimney up?A: Umbrella

Q: What is it that has no head but has a neck?A: A bottle

Q: Suppose you walk into a dark room. You have with you a kerosene lamp, a match, and a candle. Which would you light first?A: Match, of course.

Q: What is it that come out at night without calling, and disappears in the morning, without being stolen by anyone? Guess their names.A: Stars.

Q: What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?A: Silence.

Q: Take away my first letter, middle letter or last letter, I still sound the same - Name the letter?A: EMPTY

HUMOUR

Funnyquestions and answers

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Following the successful launch of the new Integrated Customer Management System, the below information is meant to further empower you, our esteemed customers as you start to use the new system.

1. Do I get a NEW account number in the upgraded customer management system?Yes, you will have a NEW account number sent to you via SMS. To query your new account number, send the word STATUS with your existing account number to 95551. E.g. if your existing account is 1234567-01, send Status1234567 (Don’t include the suffi x 01, 02) to 95551.

2. Which customers are associated with changes of the fi rst phase of the roll-out?Customers who fall within Nairobi County, Kajiado County, Machakos County and Makueni County are in the fi rst phase of the system upgrade.

3. Will I use my NEW account number to make payments?Yes, going forward, your NEW account number will be used to make payments and will be used to access your details for all other enquires. It is therefore important to have it on easy reach.

4. Did I need to register NEW E-billing details for the NEW account number given?No, we migrated all billing data from the old system, however if you would like to make any changes, visit our Customer Care Offi ces or send SMS to 95551 for registration.

5. If I need to query my bill through my cell phone, which are the steps to follow?Send a message with your NEW account number to 95551 and feedback on your bill status will be sent to you.

6. How do I access my bill via the internet?Kenya Power is in the process of fi nalizing a Self Service Module in the second phase of our roll-out. The module will off er the following services via the Internet and on a Mobile App:• Bill or Token Query• Application for Power Supply• Change of Contract Name• Reporting of Power Outages• A listing of Power Interruptions (Planned and Unplanned)

For more information:Send SMS to 95551E-mail: [email protected] : @KenyaPower_Care : @KenyaPowerFacebook : @KenyaPowerLtd

NEW CUSTOMER SERVICES SYSTEM

general etiquette knowledge...NOVEMBER 2017 BEST OF KENYA KSH 400/- Tz Sh 10,000 Ug Sh12,000 VOL 12...

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Transcript of general etiquette knowledge...NOVEMBER 2017 BEST OF KENYA KSH 400/- Tz Sh 10,000 Ug Sh12,000 VOL 12...