Holy Family Catholic CommunityPastoral Care Ministry

www.holyfamilyparish.org

On behalf of the Pastor, the staff and the entire faith community of Holy Family, we wish to express our sincere condolences and prayers for you during this time of grief. The loss of a loved one is a time filled with many emotions. As Catholic Christians, we believe that at the time of natural death, life has changed…not ended! As a people of faith, we join with you in these liturgical experiences to: prayerfully remember the life of the deceased, comfort one another in grief, and celebrate the Lord’s promise of the Resurrection.

This planning guide will assist you in preparing to meet with our Funeral Planning Team to discuss the details for the wake, Mass and internment. It is an important time to reflect on the life of the dearly departed and also how their passing can be best understood as part of your journey as a family and as a community of faith. While a memorial, the various prayer experiences are most assuredly for the surviving family and friends. In sharing our grief through prayer and Eucharist, we are all comforted by one another and God’s love. At Holy Family Catholic Community, all are welcome to fully participate!

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GOD’S HOLY TEMPLE

Our belief as Catholic Christians is that each person is created by God in the image of God. He breathes His breath into us giving us life. God’s breath within us makes our body His Temple. Our body is sacred.

Recommended rituals. Burying the dead is a corporal work of mercy, along with feeding the hungry and visiting the sick. When a person has died, there is normally a wake (visitation), a Mass and a committal service at a Catholic cemetery (internment).

The body of the deceased should be present at the Wake and the Mass. It is often difficult to see the body of a loved one laid out in a coffin for the first time. While stressful, it is a moment when God’s love is close to us in our sorrow. We share our pain and grief with others who mourn the loss of the loved one. The wake is a time to remember and share memories and stories of life and God’s presence in it. During the Wake Service the Church offers prayers to comfort us and give us hope.

The Mass of Resurrection, such as we celebrate here at Holy Family, confirms our loved one’s status as a child of God. At the beginning of the service, the person’s body is blessed with holy water and covered with a pall to reconfirm their Baptism. The readings, prayers and hymns of the Mass are chosen to reflect the faith and values of the deceased. After Communion is shared, the

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body is blessed with incense to confirm that he or she will rise with Christ on the last day.

The body is then taken to the consecrated ground of a Catholic cemetery to its final resting place until the day of resurrection. A short Rite of Committal commends the person to God’s loving care.

Cremated remains. Since 1963, the Catholic Church has allowed cremation of the body. It is preferable that the body not be cremated until after the Mass of Resurrection. If the body must be cremated before the Mass, the cremains should be present at the Mass so that they can be blessed and incensed. Cremated remains are to be treated with the same respect given to an intact body. The cremains are to be taken to the consecrated ground of a Catholic cemetery where they can be interred in the ground or in a mausoleum or columbarium. They are not to be scattered over land or sea, or kept in a container at home or elsewhere. These are the remains of the body of your loved one and should be given as much respect in death as in life.

“I am the Resurrection and the Life.

He who believes in Me, even if he dies, shall live.”John 11:25

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PLANNING THE FUNERAL

Soon after the Funeral Home has contacted us, we will call you to set up a time when we can meet and plan the service for your loved one. In addition to the necessary information, we will invite you to share your memories. Using this information, we will then help you select the Scripture readings and music for the service and the sayings or poems to be used in the worship aid. We will be responsive to your preferences and needs. All planning will be done through Pastoral Care, and we will coordinate with staff and choir. The details will be communicated to the Presider, the worship and music ministries, the person conducting the Wake Service, and all other staff who are involved in the preparations for a funeral service.

At the back of this booklet is a Funeral Planning Sheet which outlines what we will be discussing in our meeting. We encourage your prayerful consideration and active participation.

VIGIL SERVICE

At the Wake, usually held the evening before the funeral Mass or service, extended family members and friends gather to offer prayers and condolences and to visit with the extended family.

Another member of our Pastoral Care team may attend the wake and conduct the prayer service. That person will lead the family and friends in the reading of Scripture and the Catholic vigil

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prayers. During the vigil service, there will be time for family and friends to remember their loved one and to share words of comfort with each other.

VISITATION IN HOLY FAMILY CHAPEL

Holy Family Parish offers visitation in our chapel on the morning of the Funeral Mass. This visitation is usually one hour in length and precedes the Mass. It is especially convenient for families of a loved one who does not have a large family or who has outlived many friends and family.

The chapel is a quiet place where family and friends can visit with each other and pay their last respects to the deceased.

Toward the end of the hour, a short transmittal prayer service is given, after which family and friends proceed through the narthex to the church for the Mass.

FUNERAL MASS/SERVICE

The rituals, prayers and Scripture surrounding death are a witness to the faith of the one who has died. They give comfort to the family, friends and associates who shared life with the deceased. These rituals affirm the new life that the deceased now shares with the saints in heaven. They confirm the solidarity between those living on earth and those living in eternity.

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The funeral liturgy is usually conducted by a priest within the context of a Mass. The Mass is the perfect prayer through which the focus shifts from the ending of a life on earth to its new beginning in eternity. The funeral Mass is usually held in the parish church of the deceased, or the loved one’s family. If a funeral liturgy takes place outside of a Mass, it may be conducted either at a church, the funeral home, or at a cemetery chapel.

At Holy Family Parish, we encourage the family to participate in the planning of the liturgy by selecting the readings and music. The liturgy is greatly enhanced when family or friends who are comfortable in the role become the proclaimers of the readings and the bearers of gifts at the offertory.

Holy Family’s Resurrection Choir provides the music for each funeral liturgy. This group of volunteers has dedicated itself to lifting their voices in praise of God and in memory of the deceased.

While family requests are always taken into consideration, the overall planning of Liturgy remains the responsibility of Pastoral Care and Worship, to be consistent with the mission and vision of the Holy Family Catholic Community.

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ORDER OF THE FUNERAL LITURGY

Greeting by Presider

Sprinkling with Holy Water

This ritual celebrates the baptism of the person into the Christian faith.

Placing of the Pall

The pall is a reminder of the white garment the person was given at baptism.

Placing of the Book of Scriptures

A reminder of the person’s hearing and living the Word of God throughout their life

Gathering Song (processional)

Opening Prayer

Liturgy of the Word

Family and friends are encouraged to participate in the Liturgy of the Word by being proclaimers for the first reading, second reading and prayers of the faithful.

First Reading

A passage from the Old Testament is read. If family and friends are comfortable doing so, they are encouraged to participate in

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the liturgy by being proclaimers for the first and second readings.

Responsorial psalm (sung)

Second Reading

A passage is read from the Acts of the Apostles, the Letters of St. Paul and other Apostles or the Book of Revelation.

Gospel acclamation (sung)

Gospel

Passage from one of the Gospels proclaimed by the presider.

Homily

A reflection on the scripture readings and on the life of the deceased given by the presider.

Prayers of the Faithful

Petitions and short intercessory prayers for the deceased, for family and friends grieving the loss of the loved one.

Liturgy of the Eucharist

Presentation of the Gifts

The offertory gifts of bread and wine are brought up to the altar. Again, family and friends are encouraged to participate.

Gift (offertory) song

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Eucharistic acclamations

These are laity responses to the prayers of the presider.

Our Father

Reception of the Eucharist

Family or friends who are active Eucharistic Ministers are invited to serve during the liturgy.

Communion Hymn (sung)

Post Communion Meditation (hymn)

Words of Remembrance

A family member or close friend of the deceased may be asked to share a few short stories or memories of the deceased. Usually no more than five minutes in length; this is not a resume of the person’s life, but, rather, meaningful stories and anecdotes that reflect their faith and values.

Final Commendation (incensing)

Using incense, the presider blesses the body of the deceased to confirm our belief in the Resurrection. The rising of the incense toward the heavens is a symbol of the person’s rising with Christ on the last day.

Hymn during Incensing

Recessional Hymn

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FUNERAL PLANNING SHEET

Name of Deceased ______________________________________

Date of Birth________________ Date of Death ______________

Cause of Death_________________________________________

Contact Person____________________relationship__________

Address_____________________________________________

City, State, Zip _______________________________________

Phone (home)_________________ (cell) ___________________

Email address_________________________________________

Funeral Home________________________________________

Contact person_________________ phone_________________

Wake: Date___________________ Time__________________

Vigil Prayer Service ____________ Time preference_________

Visitation in Holy Family chapel before Mass ____yes___ no

Mass/Service: Date_____________ Time__________________

Interment: Cemetery___________________________________

Location ___________________________________

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Liturgy planning:

Pallbearers (for casket)

_____________________ _______________________

_____________________ _______________________

_____________________ _______________________

Person to place Book of Scripture _____________________

Person carrying Urn (for cremains) ____________________

Proclaimer for 1st Reading ___________________________

Proclaimer for 2nd Reading __________________________

Person to read Petitions _____________________________

(At Holy Family, our Funeral Ministers can do the readings and/or petitions, if the family so desires.)

Persons to bring offertory gifts to altar (2 to 6 people can participate as family desires)

_____________________ _______________________

_____________________ _______________________

_____________________ _______________________

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Life of the deceased

Family history as it applies to deceased:

Spouse___________________________________________

Children (and spouses, if married) _____________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

Grandchildren (and spouses, if married) _________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

Great grandchildren ________________________________

________________________________________________

Parents __________________________________________

Siblings (indicate if deceased) and spouses _____________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

Place of Birth: ____________________________________

Church of Baptism (if known) ________________________

Church of Marriage (and date)________________________

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Education:

Elementary/high schools (if known) ___________________

________________________________________________

Secondary education/degrees _________________________

________________________________________________

Military Service ______________________________________

Career/achievements___________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Hobbies _____________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Volunteer work _______________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Favorite activities _____________________________________

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________

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GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS

To Be Joyful Again is a support group for people whose spouse or significant other has died. We know how important it is to tell your story and have it be heard by compassionate people who under-stand. The group meets on the 1st and 3rd Thursday evenings of each month and welcomes anyone in need regardless of gender, age or religious affiliation.

Bereavement Support is a program that will, after a few months, reach out to those who have experienced the loss of a loved one. In addition to hosting our All Souls Mass and reception each fall, ministers will inform you of the various parish support and community grief resources available.

For more information on any of these groups and other support groups affiliated with Holy Family Catholic Community, please visit our website at www.holyfamilyparish.org or call Pastoral Care at 847-907-3417.

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