Friendship: God’s Gift of Glue

27th Annual Christian Women Today

Olympia, Oconomowoc, WI

March 27-29, 2009

Debbie Rothe

My family

Outline

Introduction: Our Lives I. Tie that Binds II. The Good; The Bad; The Ugly III. Loyalty IV. God’s Gift of Glue: Christian Friends

are the Glue that keeps us in the TIE that BINDS!

INTRODUCTION: Our Lives Blessed by God (James 1:16-17) Refined by Fire and Hammering and

Reweaving (I Peter 1:6-7) Blessed Again - but Transformed

– Not the same shape– Not the same location– Not what we would have chosen maybe at all– Shiny, Bright, Lovely, Christ at the Center

James on Trials 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers,

whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Results of Trials Trial can have two results (Trial isn’t the issue at

all - the response or result IS)

A] TRIAL>TEMPTATION>SIN>DEATHB] TRIAL>TESTING>PERSEVERACE>MATURITY

James urges us to see the trial as a good gift as it tests us and leads us to maturity: TRANSFORMED INTO SOMETHING NEW!

FRIENDS are those who help us with B!

Transformed Blessings Poem 346 v2

If he is ours, we fear no powers, not of earth or sin or death.

He sees and blesses in worst distresses; He can change them with a breath.

Wherefore the story, tell of his glory with hearts and voices; All heaven rejoices in him forever. Alleluia!

We shout for gladness, win over sadness, love him and praise him and still shall raise him glad hymns forever.

Alleluia!

I. Ties that Bind

IF THERE ARE TWO

–Ecc.4:9 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.”

–Examples:

Ties that BindIF ONE FALLS DOWN

–Ecc.4:10 “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

–Examples:

Ties that BindIF TWO THERE IS WARMTH:

–Ecc.4:11 “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”!

–Examples:

Ties that BindIF TWO, THEY CAN DEFENDIF THREE - MUCH BETTER!

Ecc.4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Examples:

Blessings of the Strong Binding

Proverbs 27:9-10

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel. Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you, better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.

Blest be the Tie that Binds

Blest be the tie that binds

Our hearts in Christian love;

The fellowship of kindred minds

Is like to that above.

THE TIE:– Not earthly friendship, marriage, or family: GOD– Can NOT be broken like earthly relationships, from

separation, time, troubles, incompatibility, death, divorce– Col 3:14 “And over all these virtues put on love, which

binds them all together in perfect unity.”– I John 4:7-11 “Dear friends, let us love one another, for

love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

Don’t Compromise Unity of KINDRED Minds!

I Cor. 1:10 “I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought”

The Fellowship of KINDRED…

John 17:20,23 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. (23)I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Blest be the Tie that Binds494 v 1

Blest be the tie that binds

Our hearts in Christian love;

The fellowship of kindred minds

Is like to that above.

II. The Good; The Bad; The Ugly

NOXIOUS FRIENDSHIPS

Noxious Definition: poisonous, likely to cause moral, spiritual, or social harm or corruption– They are real– They maybe didn’t start that way– You can only judge what you can see– You LOVE them anyway, BUT, you may have to

avoid them for your moral, spiritual, and social welfare and that of your families - at least for a time.

Signs of NOXIOUS Relationship

Deuteronomy 13:6-8 If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, "Let us go and worship other gods" (gods that neither you nor your fathers have known, 7 gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other), 8 do not yield to him or listen to him. Show him no pity. Do not spare him or shield him

Analyze: good?bad?ugly? Amos 3:3 Do two walk together unless they

have agreed to do so? Proverbs13:20 He who walks with the wise

grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 22:24-25 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.

Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.– CAN’T JUDGE HEART – ONLY THE ACTIONS

Proverbs 27:5-6, 9, 17 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (9)Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel. (17) As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.– Open rebuke?– Wounds from a friend?– Earnest counsel?– Sharpens iron - how?

Euodia and Syntche: It’s all about UNITY (kindred)

Philippians 4:1-3 1Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long

for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends!

2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord.

3 Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.

Euodia and Syntche Lessons Worked together for cause of the Gospel Contention and disagreement between just the two

arose Paul addresses it PUBLICLY: Why? Paul addresses BOTH of them SOLUTION: Agree with one another in the Lord:

FORGIVEN and then you can BE OF ONE KINDRED MIND

Loyal Yolkfellow are to help UNITY is required to spread the Gospel Message

YOU: Yolkfellow- help settle the dispute

Philippians 2:1-2 "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose"

Unity to Share the Gospel

That is why Paul says in Philippians 1:27 "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel".

Our Family Motto To know, live, and share the hope and strength

we have in God.– Psalm 62:5-8 “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;

my HOPE comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my FORTRESS, I will not be shaken. My SALVATION and my HONOR depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our REFUGE.”

– Unity is necessary in my family, and in my friendships and in my childrens!

GIVE and ACCEPT ADVICE CRITICISM ENCOURAGEMENT BURDEN SHARING

Galations 6:1-2 “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Blest be the Tie that Binds494 v 1

Blest be the tie that bindsOur hearts in Christian love;The fellowship of kindred mindsIs like to that above.

Blest be the Tie that Binds494 v 2

Before our Father’s throneWe pour our ardent prayers;Our fears, our hopes, our aims are

one,Our comforts and our cares.

Blest be the Tie that Binds494 v 3

We share our mutual woes,Our mutual burdens bear,And often for each other flowsThe sympathizing tear.

III. LOYALTY Bonded

– Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity

Burned– Proverbs 18:19 “An offended brother is more

unyielding than a fortified city,and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.”

– Burned friendships are TERRIBLE, BAD, UNPROTECTED - don’t go there.

BURN SALVE Ps. 103:1 “…as far as the east is from the west,so far has

he removed our transgressions from us.” Gen. 50:17 “This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask

you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.”

Hebrews 13:5b-6 “… and be content with what you have, because God has said,"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.What can man do to me?”– NO BAD BURNED FRIENDSHIP CAN HURT YOU= unless

you let it and allow the devil to make it a big deal in YOUR life – that’s YOUR problem, YOUR fault.

– (trials-test-perseverence-maturity OR trials-temptations-sin-death)

The Binding Glue

Mortar of Mammon (wealth and riches considered as evil and corrupt influences in our lives)– Proverbs 19:6-7 (The Message) 6 Lots of

people flock around a generous person; everyone's a friend to the philanthropist. 7 When you're down on your luck, even your family avoids you—yes, even your best friends wish you'd get lost.If they see you coming, they look the other way—out of sight, out of mind.

The Binding Glue Mortar that is God’s Gift of Glue

– Gal. 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

– Gal. 5:22-23 (the Message version) “But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.”

THE TIE - THE GLUE - THE 3rd STRAND THAT BINDS

HOSEA 11:4 4 I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love;I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.

Ties that Bind

IF THERE ARE TWO

–Ecc.4:9 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.”

–Examples:

Ties that Bind IF ONE FALLS DOWN

– Ecc.4:10 “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

– Examples:

Ties that BindIF TWO THERE IS WARMTH:

–Ecc.4:11 “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”!

–Examples:

Ties that BindIF TWO, THEY CAN DEFENDIF THREE - MUCH BETTER!

Ecc.4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Examples:

INVESTMENTS

INVEST IN THE TIME TO– Build friendships with other Christians– Be approachable– Care for others– Encourage– Rebuke and Forgive– Stand Firm together - whether that be 1 other, 6

other, or 100’s like today!

HEAVEN IS OURS HERE

We bask in the glory of Christ for we have the HOPE of heaven

HEAVEN is already ours NOW Although PERFECT LOVE and

FRIENDSHIP will reign in eternity We have a TASTE of that with the

KINDRED HEARTS of Christian Friends

Fellowship, Prayer, Sharing, TIME!l

Sad when over, but we have HEAVEN FOREVER!

It IS worth investing in the Tie that binds and applying the GLUE

Blest Be the Tie that BindsIT IS GOD’S GIFT of GLUE

494 v. 4 and 5When here our pathways part,We suffer bitter pain;Yet, one in Christ and one in heart, We hope to meet again!

From sorrow, toil, and painAnd sin we shall be freeAnd perfect love and friendship reignThrough all eternity.