Find Your Shameless Spark - Inspiring Women Live 2014

Find your Shameless Spark!

Denise R. Jacobs Inspiring Women LIVE! Bristol, UK 24 September 2014

Bust Blocks to Shameless Self-Promotion

@denisejacobs

@iwomenlive #iwomenlive

#shameless-spark

Let me tell you a story

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Of how I went from this…

Photo: Denise Jacobs

To this…

Photo: Aarron Walter

To this (!)…

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And this…

Photo: Derek Kearney

And THIS!

http://TheCreativeDose.com/

SQUEEEEEE!!!!!


February/March

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Upon finishing my first book…

Photo: Dense Jacobs

I had an epiphany

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It’s all about this!

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My book is on web design/development


Wanted to speak at web design conferences

Used with permission: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aarronwalter/4629076165/

Who I was – vs -- Who I wanted to become Photos: Denise Jacobs & http://www.flickr.com/photos/jcornelius/6276948549/

Getting work as a web designer

I practiced Shameful Self-Promotion

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Exactly.

So what changed?

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This.

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“Happiness is not just a mood—it’s a work ethic…..Happiness is actually the precursor to success.” Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work

Found the key and opened up

http://www.flickr.com/photos/djwtwo/8323452857/

So, let’s bust through the blocks

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Internalized criticisms + fears

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= The evil voices in your head

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aka The Inner Critic

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The “troll under the bridge”

Mass hypnosis

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Part of your social eco-system

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“Obsessing about preventing bad things from happening also prevents good things from happening, or sometimes prevents anything from happening at all.” Scott Berkun, The Year Without Pants

Physical evidence of fear

http://www.flickr.com/photos/grumpyfeline/4626401443/

Internal manisfestations of Fear

http://brenebrown.com/2014/04/08/daring-interview-series-meet-gavin-aung/

“OMG, I’m SO busy!”

“I should have done more by now…”

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“I don’t know enough”

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/Einstein_1921_by_F_Schmutzer.jpg

“They’ll find out I’m a fraud”

vs. “NAILED IT!”

https://www.flickr.com/photos/paul-drummond/3946893897

Impostor Syndrome Paradox

http://www.flickr.com/photos/x1brett/2279939232/

“It needs to be PERFECT”

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“I’ll do it tomorrow…”

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“Really, I’ll do it tomorrow.”


“I will do it tomorrow!”


Feed each other

Illustration: Denise Jacobs

“I’m afraid to take the plunge”


“What if I fail?”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/laughingsquid/2717325940/

F.E.A.R. =

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“Fear is not real. It is a product of the thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” - character of Cypher Raige (played by Will Smith), After Earth

Banish Your Inner Critic!

https://www.flickr.com/photos/31505964@N08/4691019168/

Eliminate Should/Must/Ought/Have to

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Realize it doesn’t have to be prefect

https://www.flickr.com/photos/stevendepolo/4498817330/

“She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do is move forward and make the whole more beautiful.” - Terri St. Cloud

Perfection ≠ Excellence

https://www.flickr.com/photos/kaldoche/4771465356

Remember humble beginnings

Twitter, circa 2006

Reframe #FAIL

http://www.flickr.com/photos/laughingsquid/2717326642/

*WHATEVER*

Question “Them”!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/barretthall/3036598475

Cop a Power Pose

Recognize & support your spark

http://www.flickr.com/photos/aguslepe/5512044294/

From Spark to Flame: How to be on Fire

https://www.flickr.com/photos/themeowverlord/15127287270

“The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” - Steve Jobs, 2005 Stanford Commencement speech

Focus on being “Self-ful”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/siutou_amy/2306794554/

Self-ful-ness: Caring for your own welfare so that you are able to care for the welfare of others.

The Oxygen Mask Theory

Leads to selflessness

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mazgrp/2050810720/

Share of your gifts

https://www.flickr.com/photos/mcgraths/3277839203

Remember it’s about this, and

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Recognize your brilliance

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonathan_hamner/3386076488/

DO NOT focus on your weaknesses

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonathan_hamner/3386076488/

You will only improve 10-15 %

(and it will be painful) Tom Rath, Strengths Finder 2.0

Be BOLD

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sakocreative/3894673274/

Propose Yourself

http://www.flickr.com/photos/orinrobertjohn/2506156264/

How I got my book deal (in 2 slides)


Reach out

http://www.flickr.com/photos/nogood/211873647/

Yes!

http://plutonicgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/FollowUp.jpeg

Value yourself

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pocait/2847866615/

WWWGD?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dlaughland/3475448568/

Learn from them

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Also


Because it’s magic

Leads to this

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FOWD site March 26, 2010

FOWD site April 15, 2010

Promote

Listen

http://www.flickr.com/photos/theory/3193684688/

No, really listen

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Pair up

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kara_allyson/5358611092/

Many hands make light work

http://thecreativedose.com/#who-we-are

Play!


Enjoy + Good at + Feeling Empowered

http://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/3310336516/

= Empowered Play

http://www.flickr.com/photos/anieto2k/8216666102/

Get in the Zone

Start reaching for opportunities

http://www.flickr.com/photos/paraflyer/386522877/

But even better, you’ll also start to

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/f8/7c/72/f87c7245434b82c193ca9c2c8f3ac142.jpg

People will seek you out

Great advice


And keep remembering that it’s all about

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You’ll light your shameless spark

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And stop feeling like this

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But instead, enter into a special pact

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Photo by Derek Kearney

This significant shift

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Has created AMAZING things for me

Because I am now joyfully shameless!

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My main regret?

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That I waited so long

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What you want wants YOU

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So that you will

https://www.flickr.com/photos/yourdon/3550794139

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intution. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

Truth.

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To find your shameless spark!

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And use it to light up your self-promotion

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And change lives for the better

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sepblog/3527804859/

Thank You!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27620885@N02/2609974180/i

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Photo used with permission: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aarronwalter/4629078087/

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“Untitled” by Americo Morales

Find Your Shameless Spark - Inspiring Women Live 2014

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Transcript of Find Your Shameless Spark - Inspiring Women Live 2014