16The Family

16.1 Introduction

When we look around us at home, we find we are surrounded by members of ourfamily. We treasure their love and affection. We know that whenever we needanything we can ask our parents, we can go to our grandparents when we want tohear stories. Mother is always ready with a hot and tasty meal for us. In short,almost all our needs are fulfilled within the family itself.

However, let us ask ourselves some basic questions. What is a family? Who arethe persons who constitute a family? What are the functions of a family? Whatare the common types of families in India? How can we maintain cordial rela-tions within our families?

This lesson will try to answer some of these questions.

16.2 Objectives

After reading this lesson, you will be able to:describe the term ‘family’ and explain the role of a family;identify different types of families;explain the reasons for the changing structure of the family;list ways by which relationships within a family can be improved;relate increasing population to the strain on available resources;

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16.3 What is a Family?

Family is universal and typically consists of a married man and woman,and their children.

Take a look around. You will find that people do not live by themselves. Theylive in families. Even you live in a family. And it is not just in India that we livein families. This is the case everywhere. The fact is that family is universal. Inother words, it is found in all societies, all over the world.

You must have noticed the word ‘married’ in the definition given above. Familyimplies marriage of the couple. Marriage provides legitimacy to the relationshipbetween the husband and wife, and the children born as a result of it.

Family also implies common residence for all its members. In other words, allfamily members live together in the same house. But you may also have seen thatsometimes the father lives away from the family because of his job, which maybe in another city. In such cases, even though the husband does not stay in thesame house as the rest of the family, he is still considered a part of the family.

Family consists not only of the married couple but also their children, both natu-ral (born to that couple) and adopted (those that have been legally adopted by thatcouple).

16.4 Functions of the Family

Let us now see what different functions a family performs.

1. Protection

At birth, the young child is totally dependent upon adults for all its needs. Sur-vival would be difficult without adequate care given by the family members. Infact, the family looks after not only the children but all the other members too.

Caring for and giving protection to the children, the sick and the old is an impor-tant function of the family.

2. Emotional bonding

The affection and love received from parents and other family members is essen-tial for the proper development of children. The emotional bonding which closefamily ties give, make children feel wanted and loved. They grow up to be better-adjusted adults than those who have not felt close family ties.

3. Education

The family is the first school of a child- where the do’s and don’t’s of society arelearnt. Learning how to interact with others, learning to respect and obey elders,

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learning to be honest, etc., starts at home. The traditional skills are also learnt athome and the child is prepared for future roles and career by the family (you willread more about this in Lesson 21).

4. Financial security

The family acts as a provider for all its members. It provides the food, the shelterand the clothes that everyone needs. Other requirements of the family membersare also fulfilled.

The work in the family is divided among all the members. Different membersperform different tasks. Some earn, some perform the household tasks. Take alook at your own family and make a list of all the things that each person in yourfamily does. You will notice that through this division of labour, all the workgets done, and the basic needs of everyone are fulfilled.

5. Recreation

Family members act as companions to one another. There is always someone toplay with or talk to. Also, celebration of festivals and events in the family likebirth or marriage, etc., provide recreation to members.

In short, we can say that the functions of a family are to:

give protectionprovide emotional bondingeducate the membersprovide financial securityact as source of recreation

INTEXT QUESTIONS 16.1

1. Fill in the blanks using the appropriate words from the brackets:i) Family is made up of ................... man and woman and their children.

(unmarried, separated, married, divorced)ii) Members of a family have a ................. residence. (local, common, beau-

tiful, separate)iii) Family is found .............. (only in India, only in some parts of the world,

in many parts of the world, all over the world)iv) Natural children are the children ............... into the family.

2. Name the function of the family that is being fulfilled in the following:

i) When a child is saved from a dangerous situation ....................ii) When a child is taught the traditional skills .....................

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iii) When a child is loved ....................iv) When a child plays with others in the family ....................

16.5 Types of Family

We generally see two types of families in India - the nuclear and the joint family.

1. The nuclear family

The nuclear family generally consists of a married man and woman and theirunmarried children. In some cases, however, one or more additional persons maybe living with them, for example, the father’s unmarried or widowed sister.

2. The joint family

The traditional joint family consists of a man, his wife, his unmarried daughters,his sons and their wives and children. If the grandsons are married, then theirwives and children are also a part of the same joint family.

You will notice that a joint family is made up of a number of nuclear familiesliving together under the same roof. They share a common kitchen and holdcommon property. The oldest male member is generally the head of the familyand the decision-maker for the family. But the women also play a significant rolein decision making as they influence the male members to a large extent.

16.6 Roles and Responsibilities of Family MembersClosely observe a nuclear and a joint family. In each case, find out which familymember is responsible for carrying out which activity. For instance, who earnsthe money? Who does the cooking? Who decides what purchases are to be made?If there is a major decision to be taken, then who takes it?

Every family member has a certain role to play. The manner in which these arecarried out is reflected in the emotional his in the family. The personality devel-opment of the youngsters etc. These are different for nuclear and joint families.Let us find out in detail.

Characteristics

1. Division oflabour on thebasis of ageand sex

Nuclear family

The husband is responsiblefor earning money for thefamily. The wife looks afterthe house. When both thehusband and wife are work-ing, they share the responsi-bility of running the houseand bringing up the children.

Joint family

The eldest male membermanages the property andfinances. The women do do-mestic work and child rear-ing almost exclusively.

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ADVANTAGES OF NUCLEAR AND JOINT FAMILIES

After reading the previous section, can you list the advantages of living in a nuclear ora joint family? Let us do so here.

Advantages of living in a nuclear family

2. Indepen-dence

3. Involve-ment ofchildren

4. Emotionalattach-mentbetweenfamilymembers

Children are actively involved indoing their own work. They be-come more self- reliant and in-dependent. They have greaterself-confidence and learn to takeinitiative.

Decisions in the family are takenjointly by the parents. As chil-dren grow older, they are also in-volved in the decision making ofthe family and their opinion isvalued.

Greater interaction and privacylead to stronger emotional bondsbetween the husband and wife.Children receive all the love, af-fection and guidance from theirparents, so they become very at-

Members are expected to co-operate with each other tocomplete the family’s tasks.For example, if a baby is cry-ing and the mother is busy,any other person will auto-matically attend to the baby.Children, thus, learn to de-pend and rely upon eachother.

Decisions are taken exclu-sively by the male membersand women and children arerarely consulted. They haveno say in any family deci-sions.

Since husband and wife donot share household chores,there are fewer interactionsand lack of privacy does notlet strong emotional ties be-tween husband and wife de-velop. Cousins are very closeto each other. This providesstability to the family mem-bers.

1. It encourages initiative, independence and self reliance among its members

2. It encourages decision making among the children, which gives them greaterself-confidence.

3. There is considerable privacy and opportunities for the members to interactwith each other. This results in deeper emotional ties among the members

Advantages of living in a joint family

1. It encourages family members to be cooperative and accommodating.

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2. In the event of death of parents, a child finds adequate emotional and economicsupport.

3. It cares for the old, the helpless and the unemployed in the family.

4. There is more financial security.

Can you now list the disadvantages of living in a joint family?

INTEXT QUESTIONS 16.2

1. Fill in the blanks with the most suitable words from the brackets-i) Nuclear family encourages ……………… in the children.(dependence,

independence, irresponsibility, timidity)ii) In a nuclear family, the parents and children are emotionally ………….

(close, distant, apart, indifferent)iii) Division of labour in a joint family is on the basis of ……………

(income, age, sex, sex and age)iv) ……….. offers more opportunities for husband and wife to interact

with each other. (nuclear family, joint family, both nuclear and jointfamilies, neither nuclear or joint family)

2. State whether the following statements are true or false-i) In a joint family, children are attached to their own parents, brothers

and sisters.ii) Children in a nuclear family are more self-confident.iii) Children and adults participate equally in decision making in nuclear

and joint families.iv) Death of a parent is less traumatic in a joint family.

3. State whether the following traits belong to nuclear or joint family-i) dependenceii) independenceiii) strong emotional bondsiv) privacyv) cooperation

16.7 Factors Contributing in Changing Family Structure

Over the years, the structure of the family has been undergoing a quite change inIndia. There has been a change in the occupations and style of living of peopledue to which there has been a shift from joint to nuclear families. Let us see what otherfactors have contributed to this change.

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1. Industrialisation- Earlier, people were engaged in agriculture which encouragedthe joint family. But when income from agriculture proved to be inadequate,some people moved to cities in search of better jobs. As the rural youth gotbetter education, they also moved to cities for better paid jobs. This migrationhas led to the breakdown of the traditional joint family.

2. Large size- When the size of the joint family became unmanageable, some sonsmoved out and established nuclear families.

3. Education and employment of women- As women got better educated, theystarted taking up jobs outside the home. These women were more confi-dent and enterprising. This also contributed to the gradual breaking up ofthe joint family.

16.8 Family Relationships

Look at your own family. How does each member of your family get along withthe others? Is there fighting or arguing among the members or are the relationscordial? Is there any member of your family who quarrels a lot? Is there a mem-ber who always tries to maintain peace in the family?

It is important to study questions of this kind while talking about or analyzingfamily relations. Family relations depend on the way every member behaves andinteracts with each other. Let us look into some of the factors which can make orbreak relations in a family.

Factors which make relations Factors which break relationsTrusting behaviour Mistrusting everyoneHaving no expectations from others Expecting a lot from othersOverlooking minor mistakes Criticizing and arguingLooking after other people’s comforts Selfish and self centeredSharing and cooperative Interfering in other’s affairsLoving and caring A ‘couldn’t care less’ attitude

It is not necessary that a person, who is responsible for spoiling relationships, hasall the negative characteristics. One may be loving and caring and is willing tooverlook omissions, gives due respect but may also be extremely selfish. It is thisselfish nature of the member, that spoils things for him and others and suppresseseven the good qualities in him. In fact, it once again proves the point that familyrelations are very tricky and delicate and take tremendous efforts from everyoneto maintain.

16.9 Increasing Population - A Strain on Resources

What is India’s population today? Well, it has crossed the 100 crore mark! This is whywe see a large number of people anywhere we go. The market, the roads, hospital ordoctor’s clinic, train and railway station, bus and bus stop - everywhere there are

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people and more people. This means that whatever resources we have - money, land,houses or food - all are being shared by more and more people.

If we look at a family, we find that the income remains more or less the same over theyears and they continue to live in the same house. But the members of the family in-crease as the couple has more children. So, the same income is used to buy more foodfor more mouths, more clothes and more people sleep under the same roof. There aremore tensions in the family as each member tries to grab more for himself/ herself.

Can we allow this kind of situation to continue? Definitely, no! It is extremely importantfor all of us to remember that our resources are limited and we have to be careful inusing them. It is the responsibility of the family to give the best possible to the childrenin terms of food, clothing, education, good housing, etc. This is only possible wheneach family restricts the number of children born. This will help in improving their qual-ity of life and make them well adjusted members of the society.

INTEXT QUESTIONS16.3

1. Point out the false statements and correct them-i) Growth of industries is am important cause for bringing about changes in

the joint family system.ii) The employment of women has hardly had any effect on the traditional

joint family system.iii) Sharing and cooperating in a family strengthen relationships.iv) Family members must always have expectations from the others.v) The size of the family has no relationship with the resources available.

2. Identify the factors that have lead to the break up of the joint family system-i) employment of women outside the homeii) family planningiii) conflicts in the familyiv) education of rural youthv) early marriage

3. Identify the factors that strain the family relationships-i) Lack of communication between family membersii) increase in family sizeiii) love and cooperation between family membersiv) employment of women outside the homev) having many expectations from others

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16.10 What You Have Learnt

In order to make it easy for you to remember, here are the main points of the lesson-

Joint break up of joint family leadsto formation of smaller

FAMILY

Nuclear

Functions Relationships Size

Need to be nurturedwith love and care

16.11 Terminal Exercise

1. Explain in your own words what you understand by a “family”.

2. Describe at least two differences you find in the different types of familiesaround you.

3. Give two valid reasons for the break up of the joint family system in India.

4. List two actions you can take as a peacemaker in your family.

16.12 Answers to Intext Questions

16.1 1. i) married ii) common iii) all over the world iv)born

2. i) protective ii) educational iii) emotionaliv) recreational

16.2 1. i) independence ii) close iii) sex and ageiv) nuclear family

2. i) F ii) T iii) f iv) T

must not strainavailable resources

give protectionprovide emotional bondingeducate the membersprovide financial securityact as source of recreation

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3. i) Joint ii) Nuclear iii) Nucleariv) Nuclear v) Joint

16.3 1. i) T ii) F iii) Tiv) F v) F

2. i) , iii), iv),

3. i, v