Extra Resources for You
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Rocky Mountain Hostage Negotiators
3rd Quarter TrainingJuly 14, 2009
“Active Listening Skills – A New Approach”
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Extra Resources for You
http://www.CopsAlive.com/RMHN
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Skills Assessment• How Much Do You Remember?• What Are Your Thoughts About Active Listening Skills?
• What Do You Want From RMHN?
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Skills AssessmentAre you, or is your department, a member of RMHN? Yes__ No__ Don’t Know__ How many years have you been a commissioned police officer? ______ How many years have you been a negotiator? Have you ever attended an FBI Crisis Negotiations Course? Yes___ No__
If Yes, how many times? ___ How long ago? ___ Have you ever been taught the “Active Listening Skills”? Yes___ No__ Do you utilize the concept of “Active Listening Skills” in your negotiations? Yes__ No__ Does you team train and practice “Active Listening Skills”? Yes___ No__
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Skills AssessmentWould you identify the 7 “Active Listening Skills” and Give a brief description: 1. _____________________ = _____________________________________________________ 2. __________ __________ = _____________________________________________________ 3. __________/__________ = _____________________________________________________ 4. __________ __________ = _____________________________________________________ 5. __________ __________ = _____________________________________________________ 6. __ __________________ = _____________________________________________________ 7. ______ ______ ________ = _____________________________________________________
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Un-Scramble to Make a Word
P R M E E I O
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The FBI 7 Active Listening Skills1. Paraphrasing
2. Minimal Encouragers3. Reflecting/Mirroring4. Effective Pauses5. Emotion Labeling6. “I Messages”
7. Open Ended Questions
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Paraphrasing• Demonstrates Interest• A Summary in You Own Words• Creates Empathy• Builds Rapport Because You Have Heard & Understand
• Checks Perceptions
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Paraphrasing
• “Are You Telling Me…?”• “Are You Saying…?”• “Do You Mean…?”
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Minimal Encouragers
• Hummmm• Uh Huh• Oh!• Really?• You Don’t Say• Mmmm• Not Z z z z z z z
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Minimal Encouragers• Sounds that let them
know you are listening• Short Questions• Does not interfere
with the flow• Let’s them know you
are there• Encourages them to
keep talkingPhoto: Creative Commons “Listen” by Mika Hiironniemi on Flickr.com
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Reflecting/Mirroring• Repeat Back the Last Word or Phrase
• Gives Feedback• Asks for More• Creates New Questions
Photo: Creative Commons “Mirror Egg Reflections” by LollyKnit on Flickr.com
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Effective Pauses
Enough Said!
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Effective Pauses
• Silence• Can be
Effective• Most People
Will Fill the Void with Talk
Photo: Creative Commons “Sandringham Crossing-Stop, Look, Listen” by ?Redvers on Flickr.com
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Uses of Silence
• When you are about to say something important
• When you have just said something important
• When they are trying to psych you out
Photo: Creative Commons “Listen to me…” by Keela84 on Flickr.com
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Emotion Labeling• Try This First!• Respond to Emotions Heard, not in Content• Demonstrates Interest• How They Seem or Sound to You• Be Aware of Missing Emotions• Listen for Conflicts between Heard & Expressed Feelings
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Emotion Labeling
• You Sound…• You Seem…• I Hear…
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“I” Messages
• Let’s them know how they are making you feel
• Non-Threatening• Doesn’t put
them on the Defensive
Photo: Creative Commons “Hand Mirror” By desi.italy on Flickr.com
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“I” Messages
I Feel…(Emotion)When You… (Behavior)
Because… (Reason)
Photo: Creative Commons “Listening” By Lanuiop on Flickr.com
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Uses for “I” Messages
• Intense emotions directed at you• They are making communication
impossible• They are trying to manipulate
you• To Refocus the Conversation• When you are being verbally
attacked
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Open Ended Questions• Cannot be
Answered Yes or No
• Usually start with:– How– When– What– Where
Photo: Creative Commons “What?!?!” By Dizznbonn on Flickr.com
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Use Open Ended Questions
• To Help Them Start Talking• To Elicit Examples of Specific
Behavior• To Gather Intelligence• To Focus on their Feelings
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Open Ended Questions
• Can you tell me more about that?• What did you mean?• How did that make you feel?• What happened?• What do you think is going to happen next?• What are you planning to do?• Are you thinking about suicide?
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How do You Train to Improve Skills?
• Role Playing?• Face/Face or Back/Back?• Single Skill Training?• Games?• Puzzles?• Quiz's?• What do You Suggest?