Eureka! Series 1 - Bài học 4 tháng Hai 2015

IELTS Kungfu khóa 3 – Writing & Speaking 7.0 khai giảng

ngày 7 tháng 3 năm 2015. Hãy click vào đây

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✔Eureka – Học IELTS Wring hàng ngày! – Series 1

04.02.2015

Đề bài: "Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school.What are the reasons?

What could be done?"

Phân tích đề: Đây là bài có hai câu hỏi rất rõ ràng, vì thế, với 2 paragraphs thân bài, thí sinh hãy sử

dụng mỗi paragraph để trả lời một câu hỏi.

Yêu cầu của admin: Hãy viết body 2 để trả lời câu hỏi "what could be done"

IELTS Kungfu khóa 3 – Writing & Speaking 7.0 khai giảng ngày 7 tháng 3 năm 2015. Hãy click

vào đây http://on.fb.me/1wyTPzT để nộp bài thi đầu vào

Số lượng bài chữa:

Hãy kéo xuống dưới để xem nội dung bài học:

1. Bài chữa

2. Bài viết mẫu của IELTS Kungfu

3. Tổng hợp Từ vựng và Mẫu câu hữu ích

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Bài chữa của Đặng Hải Phụng Đặng Hải Phụng Cho em gửi ạ.

To combat the problem, concerted efforts should be made between both schools and families. At home, parents should keep

technological devices such as iPad distant from where their children are studying. By having these distractors out oftheir sight,

they tend to focus more on their study, which leads to improved attention span. At school, teachers need to give mind-

challenging assignments to their students. The reason is that only when students have intensive attention could they break

through these challenges. For instance, teachers could raise some difficult questions relating to the subjects while delivering

lectures.

Đặng Hải Phụng Cho em gửi ạ.

To combat the problem, concerted efforts should be made between both schools and families. At home, parents should keep

technological devices such as iPad distant from where their children are studying [their children’s study corner/study]. By having

these distractors out of their sight, they tend to focus more [better] on their study, which leads to improved attention span. At

school, teachers need to give mind-challenging assignments to their students. The reason is that only when students have

intensive attention could they break through these challenges. For instance, teachers could raise some difficult questions

relating to the subjects while delivering lectures. [<- ý thứ 2 rất tốt nhưng phát triển chưa tới, xem viết lại bên dưới]

Điểm cộng: viết tốt, rõ ràng, ngữ pháp chắc chắn

Điểm trừ: ý thứ 2 hơi phí vì chưa diễn đạt tới nơi và câu hơi vụn

Eureka! viết lại

✘At school, teachers need to give mind-challenging assignments to their students. The reason is that only when students have

intensive attention could they break through these challenges. For instance, teachers could raise some difficult questions

relating to the subjects while delivering lectures.

✔Since students are likely to concentrate better if they are given a real challenge, teachers need give them more challenging

tasks in class. [Câu cuối ví dụ không có giá trị nâng cao luận điểm và cũng chỉ lặp lại ý đã nói, có thể bỏ đi.]


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Bài chữa của Huynh Van Huynh Van There are several effective ways that students can apply to solve the problem described above. Firstly, a simple

solution would be useful for students to concentrate more on lessons at school is to remove all distractions such as sitting with

peers, telephone. Although it is quite appealing to sit with friends, gossip is one of the most common reasons why students have

less concentration on their studies. Therefore, they should stay on the top of the class to pay full attention to the lesson.

Students should also keep the telephone turn-off in order to avoid being distracted by the upcoming phone calls or messages.

The second measure is to get involved in class discussion. If students are actively contributing in class, for examples, raising

questions or offering opinions, they will be more focused on their study. This also helps them avoid embarrassing moments

when they get called on if they are not focusing on teacher's lessons.

Huynh Van There are several effective ways that students can apply to solve the problem described above. Firstly, a simple

solution would be useful for students to concentrate more on lessons at school is [gạch bỏ vì không cần thiết] to remove all

distractions [that may affect student’s attention] such as sitting with peers, telephone [có ai đi học mà ko ngồi với bạn bè, làm

sao mà giải pháp như vậy được, telephone ko chính xác bằng cell/hand phone]. Although it is quite [từ này hơi informal và cảm

tính, tránh dùng trong formal writing] appealing to sit with friends, gossip is one of the most common reasons why students have

less concentration on their studies [fail to concentrate at schools]. Therefore, they should stay on the top of the class to pay full

attention to the lesson. Students should also keep the telephone turn-off [turn off their hand phones] in order to avoid being

distracted by the upcoming [coming] phone calls or messages. The second measure is [related to chilren’ getting involved in] to

get involved in class discussion. If students are actively contributing in class, for examples, raising questions or offering

opinions, they will be more focused on their study. This also helps them avoid embarrassing moments when they get called on if

they are not focusing on teacher's lessons.

Điểm cộng: các ý đều tốt

Điểm trừ: có một vài lưu ý em xem trực tiếp bài sửa nhé.

Eureka! chọn viết lại: không cần viết lại gì


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Bài chữa của Trace Vũ Nguyen Trace Vũ Nguyen However, there are several measures to tackle this problem. First of all, students should be encouraged to

concentrate on their studying by giving awards. For example, schools give scholarships for students who are outstanding.

Secondly, teachers should have useful method to educate students effectively, which contributes to the higher level of

concentration on students. To illustrate this, some teachers use computer to design many vivid lessons. This might easily makes

students feel eager to learn . Finally, at school students should have the right to choose which subjects are suitable for them to

learn. It is conventionally believed that students tend to have better academic performance when they learn their favorite

subjects.

Trace Vũ Nguyen However, there are several measures to tackle this problem. First of all, students should [can] be encouraged

to concentrate on their studying by giving awards. For example, schools give scholarships for students who are outstanding. [<-

ví dụ không có nhiều giá trị - theo mạch ý của em là trao giải thưởng để học sinh tập trung học hơn, ví dụ của em nên đi vào

phân tích cụ thể tại sao lại như vậy] Secondly, teachers should have useful method to educate students effectively, which

contributes to the higher level of concentration on students. To illustrate this, some teachers use computer[s] to design many

vivid [audio-visual, từ vivid thiên về cảm tính hơn] lessons. This might easily makes students feel eager to learn . [<- nối câu

ngắn này vào câu trước đó thì hay hơn – audio-visual lessons which can better hook students’ attention.] Finally, at school

students should have the right to choose which subjects are suitable for them to learn. It is conventionally believed that students

tend to have better academic performance when they learn their favorite subjects. [are enabled to pick their favourite subjects]

Điểm cộng: có nhiều ý, các ý đều tốt, ngữ pháp và từ vựng khá chắc chắn

Điểm trừ: ít thôi, em xem kỹ những chỗ chữa

Eureka! chọn viết lại: xem trực tiếp trong bài







Bài viết mẫu của IELTS Kungfu There are several ways to deal with students’ problem of lacking attention in schools. First, since smart

phones preloaded with social media applications have been identified a significant factor that

exacerbates the situation, schools may consider limiting the use of smart phones in classrooms.

Doing so, schools can help children avoid being distracted by constant updates from social

networking sites. Second, teachers can put more efforts in preparing class activities which are more

interactive to sustain students’ interest. When students are given a better chance to participate, they

could improve their concentration. Last but not least, students’ counselling service can also help as

it provides a place where students’ problems are heard. Receiving support to tackle personal problems,

students will have their mind freed to stay focussed in classes.





Eureka! Tổng hợp bài học trong ngày

Từ vựng to lack attention/concentration: thiếu tập trung. Lỗi sai phổ biến khi dùng động từ này là việc thêm giới từ “of.” Hãy nhớ chỉ khi “lack” là danh từ thì mới có “of;” ví dụ: a lack of concentration since = because (conjunction) be preloaded with sth: cài đặt trước cái gì to exacerbate sth: làm cho tình hình xấu đi to consider limiting the use of smart phones: cân nhắc việc hạn chế… avoid being distracted by constant updates: tránh bị phân tâm bởi những updates liên tục từ smart phones, có thể thay “updates” bằng “notifications” to sustain students’ interest: giữ sự hào hứng của học sinh to improve concentration: tăng khả năng tập trung students’ counselling service: dịch vụ tư vấn học sinh, sinh viên to tackle/solve problems: giải quyết vấn đề gì đó to have one’s mind freed: giải tỏa tâm lý to stay focussed: tập trung one’s attention span: khả năng tập trung của một người trong một khoảng thời gian nhất định


Eureka! Series 1 - Bài học 4 tháng Hai 2015

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