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    WATERIts hot, and your car gets thirsty. If it gets too thirsty,the engine will climb out of the bonnet a nd catch fire this is not good. Before you set off fill the water reser-voirs ( windscreens and coolant bottles ) up, and carrya bottle of water with you for emergency top ups.

    OILYour car is not bothered about the politically chargedquestion of oil, use of natural resources or climatechange. All its bothered about is that it needs it, aswithout oil all the parts that move will stop doing so ina big, expensive hurry. Check the levels regularly, and

    keep a spare bottle in the boot.TYRESHaving tyres with proper tread ( the grippy bit ) is notonly vital for your safety, its also a legal requirement.Having them inflated to the correct pressure is alsoimportant, as your car will run more efficiently if theyare, and will also grip the road better. Check thepressures at a garage before you set off, and makesure there are no worn/smooth patches on the tyres!

    WINDSCREENSIts summer. The insect nation will be flinging itselfat your windscreen with kamikaze devotion addsome screen wash to your washer bottle to help clearthem off, and keep it topped up; not being able to seethrough the layers of insect dead is never a good look.

    PETROL CAN (WITH PETROL)

    This might seem extreme, but you never know whenyou could find yourself miles from anywhere, havingmiscalculated how much fuel you have. A littleemergency supply could save you a long, annoying,time-consuming trek to the garage (while your car

    sulks by the side of the road ).

    Whether youre hitting the road for the festivals, the beach, or the WhitbyGothic Weekend, here are the essentials for your car (and you), in handychecklist form

    TEMPERATURE GAUGE

    Staying still in the heat can make your engine over-heat if the needles in the red, you need to stop, turnthe engine off and let it cool down for an hour or so.You can help your car stay chilled by killing the engineif youre stationary in traffic for more than a fewminutes at a time.

    MAP & DIRECTIONSAh, such a simple thing, and something so easily

    forgotten. A good AA road atlas is a must, as aredirections to where youre going. Tempting as it is tooverlook this in your excitement, youll regret it on the

    19th circuit of the faceless, spooky council estate youseem to have got lost in.

    CHANGE OF CLOTHES & BIN BAGAh, such a simple thing, and something so easily

    forgotten. A good AA road atlas is a must, as aredirections to where youre going. Tempting as it is tooverlook this in your excitement, youll regret it on the19th circuit of the faceless, spooky council estate youseem to have got lost in.

    TORCH & BLANKETJust in case you arrive late, lost, or breakdownsomewhere and need to wait in the car at nightitsgood to have light, and warmth. Of course, if you getyourself some breakdown cover with the AA, theyllturn up to rescue you and save you all that shivering,so its worth looking into see www.theaa.com orcall 0800 60 70 80 for more!

    MANUAL LABOURTyre pressures? Water bottles? Oil fill

    cap? If you cant remember what you learned for the Show Me/Tell Me element of your driving test, your cars manual will tell you whereeverything is, and what to put where. Water, oil and air are usually available at petrol stationsand motorway services (as well as little wooden skulls in boxes, as a recent team etc. road tripdemonstrated. Curious country we live in) .

    1 Le a v e a t w o - s e c o n d g a p b e t w e e n

    y o u a n d t h e c a r i n f r o n t

    2 W h e n c h a n g i n g l a n e s , l o o k q u i c k l y

    o v e r y o u r r i g h t s h o u l d e r t o c h e c k

    y o u r b l i n d s p o t .3 M a k e s u r e y o u s t o p e v e r y 1 0 0 m i l e s

    o r t w o h o u r s , t o s t r e t c h & r e l a x .

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    MOUSSE T RIGHT ABOUT NOW Like having the car and the keys, but nolicense, Mr Ts album is a vexing affair.Opening 60s groovy guitar pop homageUnderground is cool, but a lot of the time hisstubborn experimentation just feels strained -soul numbers like Sex has gone or acousticcountry bounce Music makes me fly justrun out of ideas after a minute; and dontcall a track Monotony and make it a rubbishMichael Jackson waxwork, mate... The manis great, however, at dirty disco and sleazepop - Bounce in particular is a cheeky littlenumber - and all tracks with Is it cos Im coolvocalist Emma Landford are ace and slinky,but my, my, my, we wish hed stick to it.Although the album closers good, too...gah!Frustrating as hell.

    HOMELIFEGURU MAN HUBCAP LADY Weve listened to this album dozens of times,discussed it round and round in circles, andso far were sure of only one thing: its acorker. Genre-judgments can be tricky at thebest of times, and this weird collection of

    jazz-dance-acid-funk-samba-afro-discoworld-psychedelia defi es any pigeonhole you tryto fi nd for it. But the CDs a much easierlisten than that makes it sound. Put togetherby a Manchester/global collective on thegodlike Ninja Tune label, theres a casualgenius underlying its eclecticism that meansthe hooks catch and the beats hit home. Itsinteresting, relaxed musical brainfood thatbecomes addictive in the most satisfying kindof way. If you want to know what its actuallylike, though, youll just have to buy it.

    DJ ZEPH SUNSET SCAVENGERIf you can play these tunes without nodding yourhead, youre probably in a neck collar suffering

    from whiplash. A brilliant producer and DJ from San Francisco, Zeph has stretched hismany talents to the limits to bring out thissuperb collection of beats, taking in everything

    from old school hip hop and Indian tabla toShadow-esque electronica and thumpingWest Coast funk. The albums a tasty mix ofexpertly-ripped samples, seamless programming,sickeningly good scratching and nicelyblended live instruments, with some greatguest appearances showcasing the breadth ofZephs collaborative powers.

    Sexy flesh on solid bones, this is one for pros andamateurs alike to enjoy. between seductionand a nice massage. Then you plunge intotrippy distortion and rippling melodiesDignity , moments of ambient calm shatteredby downright overdriven indie insolenceJealousy ...youve lucked out. Its the albumDeath in Vegas should have made after theContino Sessions, but didnt, and you shouldown it immediately.

    SHUGAAZERSHIFT Heres fun: I feel down when Im trapped in,

    lackin / scrappin all night doesnt do us any,wrapped in / plastic feels fantastic now / and I

    like that way / she said get the hell out is a mat / that lies on your doorway . Those are someShugaazer lyrics. Theyve set them to somequite ordinary emo guitar stuff. They need tobe quiet. Some people in the etc. lounge quitelike them, but they need to be quiet as well.There, hows that for democracy?

    ESTELLETHE 18TH DAY To etc.s delight, Estelle takes a different stance to a lot of black,urban music: its not about misery in the ghetto and a life ofcartoon violence and excess ( I give a f*ck about your bling she spits on the Missy-esque Dance Bitch , its just life. 1980s slick groove sets the tone, then we wander through her worldof love, pain and hope, told through disco, tough rap, smoothRnB and even Gospel tints. Shes Retro, yes, but paradoxicallycutting edge with her beats and samples; there may be alittle too much Smoove polish here sometimes, but basicallyno-ones making hip-hop like this at the moment, and shedeserves your attention.

    THE BARBS LUPINE PEROXIDE As the title suggests, this is a feral punk dawg riot of analbum, and by god we love it. The fact that joint frontpeople Tim and Amy are clearly as mad as a fox ina bun definitely helps, as they yelp and sneer aboutaliens, really dead dolls and alien abduction; but itsenergetic, funny, furious, and basically like a night outgetting smashed on vodka with your bestest mateswhen you really shouldnt. Brilliant!

    MEISTER MEISTERPsychedelic dark swirly heaven! Beautiful swirlingelectro opener Be Love buzzes and rubs itselfagainst you before ruffl ing your hair with lovely

    warm guitars, somewhere between seductionand a nice massage. Then you plunge into trippydistortion and rippling melodies Dignity ,moments of ambient calm shattered by downrightoverdriven indie insolence Jealousy ...youvelucked out. Its the album Death in Vegas shouldhave made after the Contino Sessions, but didnt,and you should own it immediately.

    GROOVE ARMADAGROOVE ARMADABlimey, theyve had a varied time of it, and its allhere on one shiny disc. Sure, theyre not dragginga whetstone along the vicious edge of dancemusic, but etc. couldnt care less when you canwhack the devil-mashed Purple Haze on at fullvolume, wig out to Superstylins raggaman vibrations,shake that ass grandma funk style or twist and shoutto If everybody looked the same. A couple of tracksare dubious inclusions and But I Feel Good rambleson farrrrrr to much, but this lot made the delicious AtThe River , smoochy horns and all, so we can forgivethem anything. Groovy, baby. (right, we need to getout more.)

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    THIRTEEN SENSES ALBUM OF THE AUTUMNThe Invitation Youve no idea how long wewaited to hear this record, and The Invitationdidnt disappoint, firmly securing its place inour internal soundtrack for the foreseeable future and Thirteen Senses position as our

    new favourite band. Why? How long haveyou got... Haunting Into the Fire starts thingsgently, winding pianos up into a euphoricwidescreen chorus, before Thru the Glass

    kicks in with muscular guitars against WillSouths frail vocals and its an involuntaryeyes closed and drift moment, putting

    your self into situations when you knowthat if these songs, like Yellow beforethem, are playing, the moment will becomplete, head up and chanting you gotus in to this, so get us out of this , asloud as you possibly can. With thecascading lament of Gone or The SaltWound Routines textured strings andmilitary march drums, the musicalmaturity of the band delivering thisdebut album is blindingly clear, andthats before youve even reached History , a startling build and crumble withwhispered promise I will show you something different ascendingthrough people get down on your

    knees for the crowd and tailing awayin a wash of echo. Theyll draw pointless(unless its to compare how the songs ofthose bands make you feel ) comparisons

    to Coldplay and Keane, but thatwouldnt do justice to their unique

    sound and sheer uplifting grandeur.Look, we could go on and on tell

    you youre going to be falling in love andbreaking up to this album in equal measuresoon, but the bottom line is that when huge-as-

    the-night-sky anthem Automatic has drawnthe veil across youre very, very sorry its over- and that, surely, is what its all about..................................................................

    KASABIAN ONE TO WATCHIts just possible that ten years from now wellbe remembering this blistering debut withthe same cooing nostalgia lavished uponDefinitely Maybe of late. Its partly the sheerbravado and sneering attitude that streams

    from every beat, loop, pounding guitar andwarped vocal, but - just like their illustriouspredecessors - its also the fact that its an

    album of absolutely cracking songs.Reason is Treason rushes andgrowls like an attack cry, they lope effortlesslyinto dub psychosis with Test Transmission ,evoke all the right Stone Roses and PrimalScream moments along the way, stomp onyour brains with Club Foot and the rolling,almost tribal trip hop beats of ace ace ACEsingle Processed Beats , before collapsing

    furiously into chaos on climactic closer UBoat , which blips into silence after a frenziedtechno reprise of Reason is Treason . Its

    just possible that rock has found some newprophets, so keep your fingers crossed...

    ALCAZAR THIS IS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN Etc. doesnt normally advocate smashing andlooting, but just this once: smash shops selling this,loot them of every single one, get together withus and well burn the whole monstrous heap ofeurodisco tat. Grrr

    USHER CONFESSIONS (PART II)Oh no! Ushers only gone and knocked up his chickon the side. But at least its taught him how muchhe loves his girlfriend, so thats OK. Not a ctually abad track, just wish he let his tunes get as loose ashis morals sometimes.

    THE NEEDLES DIANNE Boys with guitars crank out their sexual frustrations.Strange, when McFly do this people want to burnthem at the stake, but call yourself The Needlesand youre laughing... Ah, whatever, this is shouty,

    EAMON LOVE THEM Man, etc. has to hand it to Eamon. Where thisshould be vile, immature and pitiful, its catchy,imaginative and even gets us singing I love demhos against the fake-sweet waltz soul beat.Number one again, simple as that.

    DIVE DIVE GOOD SHOW (EP)Children sampling processed beats from thepeople who brought you Love me right. No pointeven dissing it, its just here to stop the clubs

    falling silent and give DJs something else topronounce, even if the song remains the same,which it desperately, relentlessly does.

    ANGEL CITY DO YOU KNOW (I GO CRAZY)Children sampling processed beats from thepeople who brought you Love me right. Nopoint even dissing it, its just here to stop theclubs falling silent and give DJs something elseto pronounce, even if the song remains the same,which it desperately, relentlessly does.

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    CITY & GUILDWork and study features again! City & Guilds offers

    learners over 500 quali cations in 28 industry areas so youcan learn skills that equip you to ful l career ambitions orenrich your leisure time. There are more than 8,500 centres

    (colleges, training providers and businesses) worldwideoffering these quali cations and they could be large globalorganisations like Tesco, or colleges or small businesses.City & Guilds is the UKs leading provider of vocationalquali cations, ensures quality standards are maintained

    through assessment of both the centre and students, andissues certi cates to successful candidates. You could work to this quali cation while also in employment.

    www.city-and-guilds.co.uk

    THE GURUWoody the Guru is (among other things) a careers

    adviser at Bablake School, Coventry . Respect is due.

    GETTING A JOBThe guru knows that money is less importantthan personal ful lment, but he also realisesthat money talks! So, listen to this: if you enterwork at 18+, you are very likely to be 50k better off than the majority of your peers whenthey graduate. That allows for their debt andyour earnings.

    Some professions ( e.g. IT and Finance)really value industry experience more thanout-of-date academic theory and will offerfantastic opportunities. It makes sense for themto grab you at 18, show you concepts and realpractice, mentor and train you, give you activework experience and pay you a healthy wage.The best students will be retained by employers

    and continue to thrive.The AAT ( The Association of

    Accounting Technicians) gives A level studentsof any discipline a path that should outdo anygraduate advantages and offer employmentwith sought-after employers. Without evenconsidering other bene ts, 14k as a startingsalary will contrast very keenly with a 6k rs tyear uni de cit. Chartered Accountancy statuscan also be achieved before those taking theuni route, as exemptions can be gained alongthe way!

    Helen Pillinger, working as an Analyst in BusinessRecovery Services for PricewaterhouseCoopers,sums it up: The AAT qualifcation meant I could getexperience and an income deciding on that routeinstead of going to university was one of the bestdecisions I have made.

    Siemens and Tesco are just two of anincreasing band of employers offering studentswith around 240 points attractive post-A levelroutes. Siemens currently offer eight students ayear a place at their Commercial Academy wherea BA in Business Management is the projected

    nal outcome, while along the four-year path,you have had your tuition fees paid, a healthy

    rising salary, full mentoring and vital experience.Tesco offers A level Options, a 12-month fast-track management programme with salary,excellent mentoring and career planning at theend of the course.

    Candidates for this route must showdrive and initiative and cover a broad range of A level grades but have every chance to be wayahead of their peers, without the nancial debts.www.siemens.co.uk/free-degreeswww.tesco-careers.com/home/students/alevel-optionswww.aat.org.ukwww.jobcentreplus.gov.uk

    ADVANCEDAPPRENTERSHIPS

    These are a great way to learnand earn you receive qualityteaching and pay from day one.There are over 200 differentapprenticeships in more than80 industries and exibilityand employer support are twokey bonuses. At 18, AdvancedApprenticeships are usuallythe most appropriate leveland aim at NVQ Level 3. Youreceive the on-the-job trainingfrom your employer andreceive off-the-job trainingusually at a college. 80 aweek tends to be the initial

    like medicine, but for so many other areasits no guarantee of a job. So, what if it

    doesnt appeal to you and you dontwant the debt? The Guru has

    some ideas for you...

    Do yourteachers andmates onlytalk aboutuniversity andhow great itis? A degree isa necessity forsome careers,

    guaranteed wage and the work is demanding. There are no setentry requirements but someSector Skills Councils (wholook after the schemes) ask forcertain quali cations.www.apprenticeships.org.uk

    Ask your careers adviserfor a copy of TheApprenticeship Guide

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    THE GURUSFINAL THOUGHTImportantly, while doingall this, network franticallyand develop your professional brand. Youre already of interest to employers becauseyoure thinking differentlyfrom your peers. Everyoneseems to head to universitytrudging along the path of inevitability not doing so couldmake you stand out from the crowd.

    There is so much on offer,so take a breather and listen to yourheart if you are concerned about

    university because if there is doubt,you may not be ready.

    Remember, youre never tooold to choose a university degree so if youdont go at 18, going at 19, 29, 49 or 69 would be ne too! Or if you want a work/study mix,take a sandwich course or Erasmus exchangeprogramme. Theres more to choose from than therewas at school: make the most of it!

    FOUNDATION DEGREESFoundation Degrees are given validation by HEIs ( HigherEducation Institution s ) but can be delivered in FE ( FurtherEducation) Colleges or private training organisations. Theyredesigned with employers and t perfectly into the world of

    work. From agriculture to manufacturing, from forensic scienceto the performing arts, theyre not just vocational quali cations:

    Foundation Degrees mix academic study with practicalexperience, so youre prepared for the working world.Foundation Degrees are exible, too you can choose to

    study full-time, part-time, at work, or online and there areover 1,600 of the blighters. Often a company will pay the

    tuition fees and you gain a avour of work and university.www.foundationdegree.org.uk | www.fdf.ac.uk |

    www.hotcourses.com

    POTENTIAL ENTREPENUERDo you watch Dragons Den and want to make a

    pitch? Have you sat at home over the last few yearsdreaming of developing a product or service?Banks will be keen to house your winnings andoffer advice on how to develop a business plan.

    Dont forget bodies like Shell Livewire who willalso offer encouragement and practical help fordeveloping your vision and con dence; youre

    never too young to have a great idea.www.shell-livewire.org

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    M ISTAKES Everyone makes them. There will probablybe times when it feels like the last 18 years of learning have decided to leave you for twoweeks of R&R in the Bahamas, we know its frustrating but if you revise properly it will allcome together on the day.N ERVESNerves are natural, keeping them in check is the important thing. Some deep breathing, a few I can do this affirmations and peppermint tea normally sorts etc. out.O NE AT A TIME Trying to revise too many subjects at once canbe confusing. Make sure you allow enough time togo through each subject and let it sink in.P LAYIts easy to forget that you have a life while youre revising. Make sure you still go out and have some fun. Itll do you wonders when you settle down for your next revision session.Q UICK BURSTSIts possible to revise on-the-go. Put together some small index cards of simple revision notes and carry them around with you. You can sneak them out during breaks and bus journeys. Hey,we never said revision was cool.R ESEARCH Head to your examination boards website as it might give you an idea of the types of questions that were asked in previous years and a list of things that will be expected of you. (Dont try toguess what specific questions will come up, though.Its a risky business and you might not cover something vital in your revision.)SLEEPWhatever else you do, make sure you get a good nights sleep before every exam. Youre basicallya machine, and on the day you need to be functioningat 100% efficiency. If you dont get enough sleep,you wont function properly. End of story.T ECHNIQUES There are plenty of revision techniques around recording notes onto CD, using mnemonics (easy- to-remember, repetitive poems and lists

    UNDER-STANDLets goback to the beginning,here: if you dont understand anything youve covered on your course, ask your teacher for helpbefore you start revision. Better to feel foolish for a moment thanbe foolish for a lifetime VEXED! Dont be. If you feel like its all getting too much, go for a walk, clear your head and come back to the revision when youre calmer.W ORST SUBJECTSIts tempting to leave your least favourite subjects to last. But dont,it can be demoralising and make revisionseem even harder. Mix up your revisionschedule so that you dont get too boredX EROXLearn to love thy photocopier. Youll ne to copy revision notes.

    Y ELLOW The colour yellow is associated with hapand peace. Try revising near lots of yellonever know, it might banish the stress imZ ENZen is a school of Mahayana Buddhism are taught that there is something to be l the most menial tasks. And, yes, that apChemistry too.

    A SSOCIATES Exams seem to clear A level students from the street, as they quietly beaver away in their rooms. But they dont have to make you a hermit if you think it will help, arrange to meet up with mates from your course or even ask your course tutor for advice.B RAIN FOOD

    The brain is a muscle, and it withers without food. Brains tend to be particularly fond of magnesium (which is found in green veg, nuts and seeds) and Omega-3 (found in oily fish),so try to get some into your diet. We searched,but apparently theres not a trace of either inpizzas and chips. Cheers, life!C ONCENTRATIONIf like us you tend to get easily distracted byshiny things, attempting to memorise 250 years of French history can be tough. Try building up tolong periods of concentration work solidly for 10minutes then take a five-minute break, graduallybuilding up to working for 40 minutes at a time.

    D EEP BREATHIts tempting to panic and rush into revision. Pause for thought first and plan what youre going to do that session, so you have something solid toaim for. Then take a deep breath, clear your head of distracting thoughts and get into revision mode.

    E XAM DAY This is what all your hard work is for. Prepare wellso you can feel confident, and dont get too caught up in all the post-exam chatter. Once youre out, you cant change anything, dont let people sucker you into what did you put for question four? conversations, theyll only make you worry.

    F UTURE Exams are important, theres no escaping that. But theres also no point working yourself up into a bitter frenzy about them, if you mess one up, its probably not going to ruin your entire life plan (unless, of course, its your entire life plan A level), and there are sometimes re-take options as wellG INKGO BILOBA The extract from this oddly-named plant has been shown to improve concentration and memory. Its not going to suddenly turn your brain into a sponge, but it might help. You can find it in most health food shops. machine, and on the day you need to be functioning at 100% efficiency. If you dont get enough sleep, you wont function properly. End of story.H EALTHY BODY, HEALTHY MINDIf youre stressed, unhealthy and not lookingafter yourself physically, your mind will deteriorate too. Make sure you eat healthily, get some exercise and dont work yourself into a coiled,growling knot of stress.I NTERNET There are lots of sites dedicated to helpingpeople revise. We particularly like www.bbc.co.uk/schools/websites/16/.JUNK FOODNot only is this not good for you physically, but it doesnt help with revision. Eat foods that release energy slowly, your sugar rush might feel great at midday but youll be lolling in a corner by three.K IT YOURSELF OUT Theres nothing worse than getting yourself in revision mode, only to be distracted by a lost pen. Make sure you have everything you need before you begin to revise.L IGHTINGYes, it really can make a difference. Good lighting helps you to read, write and concen- trate better. Find somewhere to study that lets in lots of natural daylight. (And no panic revision by torchlight under the duvet).

    Some people like exams. Those people will probably go on to become profes-sional circus freaks; for the rest of us, exams can be rather trying. But etc. has some suggestions

    etc.) making posters and using indexcards, for example. Find what works for you and go with it.

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    ETC. IS AT SEA (hurrah! ) having a lookaround HM Navys type 42 DestroyerLiverpool when shes attacked. It happensfast - inbound aircraft, one minute , barksthe intercom. Everyone checks radarscreens and windows; gun crews swing muzzles around; the turret of the shipsmassive anti-aircraft gun swivels while theship suddenly lurches in evasive action.Etc. has no idea what the hell is going on;of cers pull up their anti- ash reproof masks, while we stand in a corner feeling horribly civilian. When it comes, the strikeis venomously quick. A jet appears fromnowhere and ashes over the ship - Bang!Bang! Bang! Liverpool is hit. Damagereports come ooding in over the intercom -

    were taking in water. There are res in theforward section. Weve lost power to thestarboard engine. Etc. isnt the hardiestof sea dogs, but we know this much - thisis not good. Were hustled off the bridgeinto the body of the ship, past re crewsin huge fireproof suits; the smell of smoke hangs heavy as they pull ontheir visors, sweating, their section leadershouting come on guys, we can do this! On past HQ1 - damage control. Reportsare coming in to this room, where theyre

    being marked up on a diagram of the ship.Hatched sections show the re is spreading.

    Two metresof water inthe ship?

    Etc. revises

    not good to holy sh*t .

    We desperately require two more membersto help with the ood, water is two metresand rising, shouts the intercom.

    Two metres of water in the ship?Etc. revises not good to holy sh*t.Command huddle! orders the of cer incharge, and everyone gathers round toassign priorities to the various problemsthroughout the ship. Above their heads a sign reads Adapt, Improvise, Overcome .Etc. listens to another report explaining that were now having to use hand pumpsto move the rudder, and hopes they can do

    just that. They decide the priority is theunexploded bomb on the port side.

    Unexploded what? By now etc. islimbering up to freak out properly. Wereushered on, past hurrying crew who seemmuch calmer than us, taking in the Ops( Operations ) room as we go...You know that room in the movies, the dark one withthe sweeping radar screens, banksof equipment and people - including theCaptain - crammed in? Thats the Ops room,kids. Its full of brutally hi-tech stuff andred lights. We hurry through trying not topush any buttons...The wardroom wherethe senior of cers hang out has becomethe rst aid centre. Medical staff are busy around two casualties; the air is still...

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    Sea, something you like..For more nautical knowledge, go here:

    www.royalnavy.mod.co.uk.Or shout them on 08456 075555 , they quite like it.

    ..blurred with smoke. And were about to be boarded. Etc. decides enough isenough. Wheres the sidearms cabinet? we bark, stripping to the waist, etc. aintgoing down without a ght. Game over! Oh, alright, some of the above isnt true.

    Well, mainly the bit about the sidearms and the stripping. But there wasan attack - its all part of the Navys Flag Of cer Sea Training ( FaOST ). Basically,a FOST team will board the ship and run a simulated attack; t hey eve n havea script detailing what damage the ship will receive (no, they dont really remissiles at it, although the plane was real, and very cool). They shout Bang! Bang!Bang! when missiles hit, let off smoke bombs ( which smell exactly like those

    yellow oilseed rape elds, weirdly ), tell people when theyre injured and general ly wreak havoc... and t he c rew ha s to respond. Its not easy. Just watching it wearsetc. out ( its also a surreal feeling to be drinking tea while a war goes on around you ),

    but the crew seem to handle it ne.Im a bit nervous, but con dent , Lt. Cmdr. Gary McCormack told us before theexercise began. Hes in charge of the Forward Fire and Repair Party Post, and isthe one shouting we can do this later. Weve got a good team , he goes on, andgood training, Im con dent the team can handle it. Hmm - etc. couldnt even handle nding our way around the bloody ship on ourown. Weve never really thought about the interior before, just about missiles andshooting planes with them, but in a combat situation the ship splits into sections

    (not literally, our armed forces arent taking Transformers into battle just yet): the Captain ghts the external war from the Ops room;

    damage control in HQ1 ghts the internal war to keep the shipa oat and ready to do what the Captain needs; and the crew

    make it happen. Liverpools mission is to protect the convoy it sails with: todays exercise is all about making sure shesready to do that for real. O Captain! My Captain! So how

    did they do once the smoke cleared? Only one chap to ask,really - Commander Northwood, the Captain.

    This is the third time weve attempted this exercise,he tells us, it really stretches the ships company. Its

    a dif cult one to get right, but weve done reasonably wellgiven the stage of training were at at the moment.

    And why are we doing this? Were trying to improve ouroperational capabilities. Its a very demanding package and weresprinting hard to the nish;theres a lot of lessons to belearned from today, but well getthere . So Liverpools ready to

    ght another day. Etc., on the

    other hand, is simply ready for bed. We board the launch backto shore and decide to leave it tothe professionals; although wedo dream about battles and thedeep blue sea all night...Restlesslot, the Navy. Not content withone job, these good folk have a different role when the shipsat action stations. Well, variety,spice of life, and all that.

    and makes sure they get their mail; thats itin a nutshell .Today? Im a rst aider. Today we had a shrapnel wound, a fractured leg and a chestinjury; guys that have maybe cut their

    nger or broken their arm you get back to work as quickly as possible, so they can

    be ghting res and oods; more seriousthings like head injuries you leave til last

    because theyll take more time .How do you feel? Its been really good funtoday, I enjoyed it!

    Writer Andrea HillToday? Ops room narrative. Basically I havea laptop and I have to record everything as ithappens, including intercom and commanddecisions, so I get a complete picture...noneof it can be deleted .No pressure then? No!Something about the Navy we didnt know? We play hockey on the ight deck of theship! Cool.

    Today Im going to be...Leading Chef Dave JudsonNormally? Feeding the crew.Today? Feeding the crew in a hurry. Thenhelping out with a re in the hangar, thenthe ood, then running around getting hot!

    You just get in there and do it. Why the Navy? Its a good life at sea, and being a chef means you work in a team;theres a lot of variety, which is a good thing.

    Chef Stokes-Lilley Today? I had to hold the propeller of theunexploded torpedo. I was holding the pinso it didnt explode. Some people nd itintense and stressy, but I nd it fun - at theend of the day, if it had been real, I wouldhave helped stop three res, three oods,and a bomb exploding . One way of looking at it...

    Writer Rebecca ScottNormally? A writer deals with everyonespayroll, foreign currency, travel arrangements

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    CREATE YOUR OWN PATH Madventurer runs award-winning volunteer projects lastingfrom two weeks to an entire year. You will beworking as part of a team in local communitiesaround the world. Every project is led by one of our experienced Madventurer crew and all arerun in partnership with local organisations.The scheme allows you to create your ownpath, combining rural, urban and sports projectsas well as the option to experience building,

    teaching, medicine and health, orphanage carework or journalism. All project options areexible allowing you to create the perfect project

    combination to suit you. If all that wasnt enoughMadventurer offer the option of combining aproject and an adventure, to build the gap year that works for you.

    For more info check out www.madventurer.comor call 0845 121 1996.

    GO WILD! Shumba Experience offers awide variety of exciting conservation projectsin Africa enabling volunteers to have a realadventure and gain some hands-on experiencewith wildlife. Volunteers will live and workon game reserves, with the project activitiesincluding game drives, wildlife monitoring, alienplant control and wildlife rehabilitation.

    Youll also have the chance to:+Join Shaun and Emma from BBC 1s Vet Safariseries and work on our new Game Capture

    project based in South Africa+Help with game capture and translocation of wildlife to other game reserves+Live inside a game reserve and assist ongoingwildlife projects including white rhino, lion, leopardand brown hyena studies+Gain vital survival skills by joining the BushSurvival course for seven days or combiningwith another placement+Play an integral part in developing the newKaroo reserve and assist at their wildlife centre+Assist a Marine Conservation team in learningmore about whales, dolphins and other marinelife along the South African coastline

    Sound like fun? For more information visit www.shumbaexperience .co.uk or call 0845 257 3205.

    During May and June 2007 bookings we are offering 100 off the Karoo placement. Please quote codeKAR-007 when booking.

    GO FURTHER Contiki offers action packed holidays exclusively for 18-35 year olds. They have a rangeof adventures to choose from, lasting from three to 46 days and visiting a choice of 39 different countries.So whether its a short break or the trip of a lifetime youre looking for, theyve got it covered. Destinationsinclude Australia , New Zealand , the USA, Canada , Europe , as well as beach-side resorts in both Baliand Mykonos . With over 40 years of experience, theyve developed an exciting range of trips that will

    take you where you want to go. There is a real emphasis on exibility, with itineraries that allow you lots

    of spare time to see and do the things that interest you. Contiki trips include accommodation, luxurycoach transport and plenty of sightseeing highlights. The on-road crew know their destinations

    inside out and will be able to give you loads of insider tips so you can make the most of your holiday. Each destination has an array of optional extras for adventure seekers, like white

    water rafting in New Zealand, scuba diving on Australias Great Barrier Reef or a helicopter ight over Niagara Falls.

    Sound good? For more info visit www.contiki.com for trip details or call 020 8290 6777.

    GREEN GAP Gap years are fun! Granted. Butspare a thought for the environment while youboard your plane for that long-haul journey of a lifetime. Now, dont get us wrong, etc. wouldnever put a downer on trips around the world, butthose carbon emissions arent doing anyone anygood. So, with that in mind, youll be pleased toknow that you dont have to r ide a donkey fromthe UK to Australia in order to do your bit for our planet during your gap year ( sigh of relief from theDonkey Society ). Now theres another way.

    You need to check out www.carbonneutral.com, where youll nd an emissions calculator telling

    you the exact level of emissions from your trip. For example, a ight from London to Paris will cost you1.08 worth of technology development to save theplanet, or 82p towards helping projects in developingcountries. Either way, the gang at Carbon Neutralwill calculate the damage your ight has caused,and give you the chance to rectify it. Its simple, andmeans that youll be able to enjoy your gap year safein the knowledge that your priceless adventures andmemories wont end up costing the Earth.

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