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  • P.O. Box 1404 Madison, CT 06443

    (203) 245-1225 [email protected]


  • (203) 245-1225 [email protected]


    Providing You with Financial Alternatives During Your Divorce

    A Financial Advocate for Your Divorce The process of divorce involves many emo onal, legal and fi nancial challenges. Working with a fi nancial professional during the process, can help you meet these challenges. A Cer fi ed Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) with over 25 years of fi nancial industry experience, Lisa Gresham founded Equitable Divorce Solu ons, LLC in 2003 to focus solely on the complex fi nancial issues specifi c to divorce. Blending professional knowledge with personal experience, Ms. Gresham works across all disciplines (media on, collabora ve and li ga on) to aid in the design of se lement op ons that will help you to move toward fi nancial independence and stability, a er divorce.

    Planning for Your Financial Future Divorce can be both fi nancially and emo onally devasta ng. Planning for “life a er divorce” is cri cal to reaching your fi nancial goals. Ms. Gresham works with you to avoid the common pi alls that are o en associated with divorce. With your accurate and comprehensive fi nancial informa on, she is able to project the short and long term impact of decisions made. Ms. Gresham’s analysis focuses on economic condi ons, present and future needs, taxes, insurance, investments, re rement, healthcare and other benefi t op ons.

    Empowering You to Make Educated and Informed Financial Decisions Combining compassion and professionalism, Ms. Gresham encourages individu- als to separate the emo on from their decision making. One of the pivotal points in her public educa onal seminars is, “Realizing a successful divorce involves being educated about your op ons and realis c about your expecta ons.” Ms. Gresham helps you gain fi nancial knowledge and clarity, so that you can nego - ate a workable se lement with a plan that can meet your fi nancial goals, given certain assump ons and resources.

    Working as a Team with Your Divorce Attorney Equitable Divorce Solu ons collaborates with other divorce professionals, includ- ing a orneys. In addi on to aiding in the discovery process, Ms. Gresham sup- ports your legal advisor by providing knowledge and exper se in the areas of tax planning, rules of re rement accounts, pension analysis, corporate compensa on and benefi ts, cash fl ow and net worth projec ons, as well as an equitable division of assets.

    Neutral Representation in Collaborative Divorce Ms. Gresham possesses the collabora ve training required to provide neutral rep- resenta on to both par es in a Collabora ve Divorce — a non adversarial alterna- ve to li ga on that is o en referred to as the “team approach” to divorce. Ac ng

    in this capacity, with complete transparency, she considers the needs of your fam- ily as a whole and helps you and your spouse reach an agreement to meet those needs with less of a fi nancial and emo onal cost.

    Lisa Gresham, CDFA®

    “Realizing a successful divorce involves being educated about

    your op ons and realis c about your expecta ons.”

    Ms. Gresham prac ces in Connec cut, New York and

    New Jersey.

    Equitable Divorce Solu ons, LLC P.O. Box 1404

    Madison, CT 06443 (203) 245-1225

  • Collaborative Divorce Guide | 3 Collaborative Divorce Guide | 3

    The articles in this Guide are provided for general information and may not apply to your unique situation. These articles do not take the place of a law- yer, accountant, financial planner, therapist, etc.; since laws and procedures vary by region, for professional advice, you must seek counsel from the appropriate professional in your area. The views presented in the articles are the authors’ own and do not necessarily represent the views of this firm or of Divorce Marketing Group. This Guide is published by and Copyright © Divorce Marketing Group. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any use of materi- als from this Guide – including reproduction, modification, or distribution – without prior written consent of Divorce Marketing Group is prohibited.

    Battling your spouse in court puts your divorce – and the fate of your children, your finances, and your future – in the hands of a judge instead of your own. But what if there were another way?

    In this Collaborative Divorce Guide, you’ll find articles, interviews, tips, and other key resources to help you understand whether Collaborative Divorce, an out-of-court divorce resolution method, is the best choice for you, your family, and your future.

    contents 4 Collaborative Divorce: the Kinder, Gentler Choice

    An alternative to divorce litigation, Collaborative Divorce uses a team of professionals dedicated to helping resolve your divorce issues as amicably as possible.

    7 How Collaborative Divorce Works An interview with Pauline Tesler, the co-founder of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.

    10 Is Collaborative Divorce Right for You? Ten questions to help you and your spouse fi gure out whether you’re good candidates for Collaborative Divorce.

    12 Divorce without Fighting Your active participation in settling your divorce is the single most important factor in getting an outcome you can live with.

    15 Keep Your Cool Tips for keeping your cool during heated divorce-related negotiations or conversations.

    18 Four-Way Meetings The goals and interests you define in four-way meetings form the foundation for your success in this process.

    21 A Fair Negotiation Negotiation skills will help you achieve many goals without alienating or angering the other parties involved.

    23 Getting Settled What you need to know before creating a settlement agreement.

    27 Ten Stress-Busting Tips Here are ten stress-busting tips you can incorporate into your daily life right now.

    28 Managing Anger Divorce-related anger can literally make you crazy, causing you to say and do things you’d never dream of if you were thinking clearly.

  • Collaborative Divorce Guide | 4

    Collaborative Divorce is an alternative to traditional litigation that brings together a team of professionals dedicated to helping resolve your divorce issues as amicably as possible.

    By Marcy M. Jones (JD)


    DIVORCE: The Kinder, Gentler Choice

  • Collaborative Divorce Guide | 5

    Collaborative Divorce is often referred to as the “kinder, gen-tler” way to divorce. If you and your spouse decide that the collabora- tive process is the best option for you, your next step is to hire your collabora- tive lawyer and other team members as needed. What you’ll fi nd is a group of professionals who are thrilled you’ve chosen this process. They are excited to help you navigate your divorce in a way that allows you to maintain your dignity and integrity, while you are actually learning new and better ways of communicating with your spouse. You’ll fi nd that you, your spouse, and your children are all supported in ways that are simply not possible in any other divorce process.

    What is Collaborative Divorce?

    Collaborative Divorce is the newest divorce dispute-resolution process. The key difference between collaborative divorce and conventional divorce is the clients’ pledge to reach an agreement without going to court. It’s a client- centered and client-controlled process that focuses on interest-based nego- tiation rather than the traditional posi- tional bargaining process. The goal of collaboration is to develop respectful relationships, solve problems together, and prevent a battle in court. In order to accomplish this, the parties agree in writing that they will not go to court. No one may go to court or even threaten to do so; otherwise, the process terminates and both collaborative lawyers are dis- qualified from further involvement in the case.

    What is the Collaborative Divorce Team?

    An emerging field of collabora- tive divorce provides a collaborative divorce team consisting of two lawyers, one or two divorce coaches, a child specialist, and a financial specialist to help the couple. Believe it or not, this team of five or six can be more cost- effective than the conventional method of divorce. The involvement of these professionals improves the flow of the

    case as well as the understanding and satisfaction of the clients.

    Divorce is a complex event involv- ing legal, financial, social, and emo- tional considerations. When children are involved, there are the additional needs of developing appropriate parent- ing plans and learning communication skills so the couple can effectively co- parent their children. In conventional divorce, lawyers handle all of these tasks. But since most lawyers are not also therapists, accountants, or child specialists, many issues remain unre- solved and often continue to be liti- gated and re-litigated for years. The Collaborative Divorce Team model uses a team of experts from different fields to maximize the benefit to the family.

    Who are the Collaborative Team members and what are their roles?

    • Collaborative Lawyer: has specialized training in the collab- orative process and interest-based negotiation, serves to educate the client through the process, advo- cates for the client, provides legal advice, and helps the client to generate and evaluate options for resolution.

    • Divorce Coach