The "No Plan" Plan

Feb. 2010

Valentines weekend, a perfect time to take the family to the snow in Flagstaff. We had been talking about it for 3 years. Since Joey and I had never played in the snow before, it was a big event. Now, Jake and I have learned in the past that when we plan things, expectations run high and therefore the potential for disappointment runs high as well. So we came up with a "no planning" plan for our weekend get-aways. That is why when we were about to book the $30/ night hotel room online, we chose not to, just to keep with our "no planning" plan. It seemed to be working out when we called the famous uncle jesse to come on the trip at the last minute, and he was able to go!

So we went to sleep Friday night hoping- not planning- to wake up early and head out. Apparently hope is not as strong as an alarm clock, because we didn't end up heading out until noon. The drive went by quickly though, and we made it to Flagstaff by 2:00. Perhaps if I hadn't gotten us lost on the way to the sledding park, we would have begun our sledding by 2:30. Perhaps if we hadn't decided to stop at 5 different gas stations looking for a better price than $10 a sled, we would have begun our sledding by 3:00. Of course if we had missed those things we probably also would have missed out on me making a turn down a street that wound up not being a street at all. In fact, as Jake so adamently pointed out, I was driving on a sidewalk (I thought it seemed a bit narrow..).

Well we did eventually get to the park (safely) by 3:30. I decided to change into my gear (yes in the car) which consisted of leggings, long underwear, jeans, shirt, white sweater, zip up sweater, pull over sweater, beanie, gloves, socks and shoes. Needless to say, I waddled a bit that afternoon. Of course my other half- the extreme opposite of me- decided that he was ready in his sweater, gloves, and shorts. No, that was not a typo, I really wrote "shorts". This was when I came to the realization that I needed to start monitoring his viewing of Man Vrs. Wild.

Of course it didn't take long for him to realize that the snow makes your bare legs sting. He hadn't planned ("no plan" plan)on that though which is why he didn't pack any pants. As he walked off to the car vowing that he would figure something out, I worried. Ten minutes later he returned with a thermal shirt rigged up so that he legs were through the sleeves. He told me that with the inspiration of Jason Bourne and some theme music playing in his head, the answer had been clear to him. With a smug smile he announced before waltzing to the hill, "Give me nothing and I'll make it everything baby".

Joey had an absolute blast on the snow, and was an instant natural at sledding. Are we surprised? I think not. That kid has more guts than I will ever have. He was charging down hills that I was afraid to take on. We played in the snow for a couple of hours. About 6:00 we left pretty hungry, wet, and cold. We knew that our first stop needed to be finding a hotel, changing, and then grubbing on some food.

We went to Budget Inn first to get a quote. They were booked so we went to Knights Inn where they had the $30/night deals. Surprisingly they were booked too. The third place we went to had one room left for $100. Of course Mrs. Won't spend more than $8 on a shirt (ME) thought that was too much money. If only someone had just duct taped my mouth...

The next hotel we went to was sold out, and so was the next one, and the next one, and the next one... We drove to the end of Flagstaff, hitting every hotel along the way. We even tried driving back down the I17 a bit to see if there was a hotel right out of town. Unfortunately Conoco Gas is not a hotel.

Ah but I had an idea! Call 1-800-2hotels! Genius! Thank God for commercials. Too bad Cricket blows and we didn't have any service. "Take lemons and make lemonaide Amy". I decided I would outsmart the situation and buy a calling card in the gas station.

I walked into the gas station and found myself instantly in another world. It was western themed, with elk heads proudly displayed up on the walls. There was a gray haired gruff country man working the register who instantly locked eyes on me, eyes that screamed "Whachya gunna steal lil lady". There was another man working the front. This one was a strange looking mute that probably wouldn't flinch if a meteor crashed down to earth and landed 2 inches in front of him.

I asked the older man where they kept their calling cards, but of course the only calling cards are in a machine that does not take a debit card. So I had to get a $20 from the ATM, get change from the old man, and then buy a card from the machine. I headed outside to the payphone to enact my genius idea. It was about 5 minutes into holding on the phone, standing in the middle of nowhere, hungry with a soaking wet freezing butt that I began to think that we may want to reconsider our "no planning" plan...

My little hotel finding friend from India, "Marvin" really enjoyed being thorough. I'm sure he didn't realize he was contributing to my frostbite as he double checked the spelling of EVERY word I gave him. "Jacob- J like jelly, A like apple, C like cupid" and on and on and on. We played to alphabet game for a good 20 minutes, but "Marvin" delivered in the end. I was given the "last reservation open in Flagstaff. The Americana Inn for $80".

Unfortunately Marvin could not give me directions to said hotel. He could only give me the crossroads and advice to call the actual hotel. Of course after my phonics lesson with Marvin, I was out of minutes so I couldn't call the Americana Inn. So I went back into the gas station. I asked my mute friend where the maps were. Just like a John Wayne Western, he slowly took the toothpick out of his mouth and pointed towards a corner of the store with his tooth pick and a slight nod. Before he could tell me that the gas station wasn't big enough for the both of us, I quickly walked towards the map section. Of course I wasn't able to locate the crossroads so I returned to the car with good news and bad. We had a room, I just had no idea where it was.

At this point it was 8:30 and we were all very hungry. So we decided to hit up good ol Denny's for some dinner before trying to find the Americana. We were seated next to two college aged guys that had very interesting accents. After hearing the one guy ask the waiter what free refills were and where he was to get them, we had to ask where they were from. They were from Holland, and were taking a year off of studying medicine to do a road trip. They had gone to New York, and California already. They were headed to the Grand Canyon, then Las Vegas, Mexico, and then Guatemala.

We talked about how they were so fascinated by the size of the states, and how they had just slept in their car the night before, because they could not find a hotel room. They said it was hard to sleep when they had to start the car for the heat every hour. It was an interesting conversation, and it was only interupted briefly when the child sitting a few tables down puked all over his dinner plate. Of course, what is a crazy night without somebody puking?

We said farewell to our foreign friends after eating, and left to find the Americana. We stayed on the main road and kept our eyes peeled. Eventually we found it! I parked by the front door and ran to check in. I was greeted by a man that escapes all words and descriptions.

I told him that I had a reservation under "Rodrock". He looked down at a paper and said arrogantly, "Nope don't have a rodrock. I don't have you. You didn't make a reservation here." I was shocked! Not only that we didn't have a reservation, but the way he spoke to me as if I was lying to him. Then he told me that since I made the reservation through the hotels.com, it might take a couple hours to come through, so I should come back in a couple hours. Mind you, it is 10:30 pm. Jake came in at this point and as I am explaining to him that they do not have our reservation, another couple came into the lobby. The husband said, "Dude, there's dog shit in my room under the bed. I'm not staying here. It's disgusting."

In shock I watched as the attendent was extremely rude to the complaining customer. However, it was 10:30, Flagstaff's hotels were sold out, and we were exhausted. After 20 minutes of messing around with this employee, he finally got us keys to a room. This, of course, was after he insulted our parenting, cussed in front of my son, raised his voice at me, and was all around the rudest person I have ever encountered in my life. As we began walking to our room I saw a woman outside. I asked her if the employee had been rude to her. She told me that the guy was a lunatic to her as well. Then she told us that the room was disgusting and that her ice tub had old fish in it when she got there. She was upset because she was stuck there since everything was sold out, but she didn't feel safe with her two young children.

We went upstairs to our room, and opened our door praying it would be do-able. Apon entering the room, we were overwhelmed by the smell of mold and dirt. Most of the lights would not work, and the toliet was running like someone had just flushed it. We thought it was wierd that the toliet was running until we saw the bathroom window. It didn't lock, was big enough for a person to go through with ease, and the screen had been cut out as if it were straight out of a horror movie. That was when we decided that sleeping in the car would be safer.

We ran out of that room as if it had the plague in it (it actually might have had the plague to think about it). When I returned the keys to the front desk (no longer than 5 minutes since we got them) the employee wanted to know if we had "showered in the room and used everything". I assured him that I would never shower in that room, and I decided that the "no plan" plan was officially not to be used ever again.

We stopped at a hotel down the street, hopping that there would be cancelations in the late hour. I went into the Aspen hotel and was sad to hear the employee tell me that they were booked. As she told me that all of Flagstaff was booked, and was kindly telling me about neighboring communities that may have more to offer, in comes the next character of the night. A strange looking woman, maybe 20 with a strange looking man. She saunters over to me and joins in the conversation. As she is so close to me that I feel her breath, she tells me that we should go to Sedona together. She assures me that we could follow eachother to Sedona, get a camp site, and then "have fun". She asks if my "boyfriend and I like to drink", and that she always gets a hotel room when her boyfriend and her "get intimate". I told her that I needed to talk to my husband, and as I hop in the car I yelled to Jake, "Drive, drive, drive!"

We stopped at at least 5 more hotels before we decide that our only hope was to drive to Sedona for a room. Of course the hotel employee that told us to go to Sedona made sure to let me know that I needed to be especially careful because the elk were out in full force on the I17 tonight. So I begin our trek down the I17, wishing God had given me 20/20 vision, trying to stay fully alert, and stop the illusions that the trees are moving elk that are running towards the street. I prayed to God, and decided that I would NEVER take a place to sleep for granted again.

I am pretty sure angels drove for me, because I have no idea how we made it to Sedona safe and sound. As we pull up to La Quinta in Sedona at 12:30, I thank God yet again. The nice employee comes out to greet me and then crush my spirit with those infamous words of the night, "I am sold out". Oh yes, sold out. I get back in the car, defeated but without an option other than to continue trying. I cursed the "no plan" plan and push on to the next hotel.

The next hotel we came to was the Poco Diablo, ironically where we had our reception. As the sweet lady joins the chorus of "we are sold out", I just about die right there. She was very nice though, and called around to some other hotels trying to find us something. Apparently all of Sedona and Camp Verde were sold out as well. I think it was about the time I was falling asleep on their front counter or when Jake walked in with his hair all over the place when the two amazing employees found a solution.

The man told the lady, "Why don't we give them the conference room?" He turned to me to tell me that it only has one bed. I told him that I would sleep on the floor, I am so desperate. Then he wonders out loud if the room had been cleaned yet. I told him that I would clean it myself. They inform me that the room is not an actual hotel room. It is a conference room with a pull out bed, but we could have it for $110 if we wanted. I thanked God, my two Poco Diablo angels, and handed over my credit card.

Ten minutes later, we followed the nice man to our room. He opened the double door for us and we were overwhelmed with the amazing luxurious room that was in front of us. It wasn't 5 minutes after he left that we were all asleep, dreaming of PLANS for the next day.