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  • 8/3/2019 Enjoyable ConversationsLec3


    Enjoyable Conversations

    Learn the Basic Steps

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    The ways of making the conversation

    are simple Topics you talk about

    How you talk about them

    Questions you ask How you listen

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    Topics you talk about

    Ideally, the topics you introduce should be interesting toyour talk-partner(s). Such is not often the case. For example, it is common for conversers to talk about whatinterests them, not others. Thus, they develop very little

    common ground. One way to show interest in others is totalk about what concerns or interests them. Sports-oriented folks love to talk sports; business people,

    business; political wonks, politics; mothers, their children.But due to their passionate interest in their own topics, theyoften forget that many others are not similarly interested.

    Therefore, this simple step is to find topics of mutualinterest and talk about those.

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    How you talk about them

    Do you do so in a flat and ho-hum manner? Ordoyou express energy and true interest in thesetopics?

    A routine, even robotic manner evokes a similarmanner in others and makes a conversation boringfor lack of energy and involvement.

    Working on your skills to share anecdotes and tellstories will move you closer to excellence. Most

    people love stories when they are told well. Therefore, this simple step includes adding

    vitality and expressiveness to your talk.

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    Questions you ask

    Many conversers tend mainly to ask closed questions, most of the "Yes or "No"type. For example, "Did you enjoy the movie?" A betterquestion wouldbe "Whatdid you enjoy about the movie?" So that you provide your partner with manyoptions, including "I didn't enjoy it at all. I thought the lead actor wasunconvincing."

    Having at least a few question arrows in yourquiver will help you to conversational

    excellence. These would include not only closed questions, but also open questionsthat you can think of as "What" and "How" questions.Examples: "What did you do then?" and "What happened?" or "How did you solvethat problem?" And "How did you feel after you took the medicine?"

    "If" questions are also helpful to get a person thinking, such as "If you had it to doover again, what would you do differently?" and "IfI gave you two days off work,would that help?"

    Indirect questions are another useful arrow in yourquiver. Examples: "I wonder if you're still thinking about going back to school" and "I'm

    puzzled about how you manage to remember everybody's name." So, this simple step asks you to increase the variety ofquestions you employ, and to

    use them appropriately.

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    How you listen

    The most frequent complaint I hear about conversation styles is"poor listening." Instances of this include not paying attention orgiving only split attention, interrupting others, mental rehearsal ofwhat you'll say next, and not being responsive (flat or deadpanexpression.)

    Good listening must include both intention to understand andattention to what is said. An effective listener is engaged with thetalker and shows it. An effective listener wouldbe able to reproduceat least the gist of what the talk said. The talker is validated byfeeling listened to.

    This simple step requires you to let go of your preoccupations and,when listening, to give your full attention to others.

    Doing so will take a little time, but it will cost you nothing, and theresults will make the practice well worth your effort.

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    How to Make Communication

    Effective in Business?

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    Effective communication largely depends upon the

    effective organizational structure. If the structure iscomplex, involving several layers of management, abreakdown in communication can arise.

    An organization cannot operate without proper flow ofcommunication. It is said to be the foremost problem of

    management in the way of making effectivecommunication. It serves as the lubricant, fostering for smooth operations of

    management process. It is very essential for themanagement to maintain an efficient flow ofcommunication in all directions.

    But in actual practice all massages are not effectivelytransmitted. Several impediments, hurdles, blockades, orstoppages, calledbarriers to communication distort themessage and make communication ineffective.

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    These barriers to communication lead to conflicts between menliving in the same community, working on the same job and even

    person living in different parts of the world that even do not knoweach other. These barriers may be physical, personal, semantic,organizational, emotional etc.

    A communication is a two way process, distance between the senderand the receiver of the message is an important barrier tocommunication. Noise and environmental factors also block

    communication. Personal factors like difference in judgment, social values,

    inferiority complex, bias, attitude, pressure of time etc. widen thepsychological distance between the communicator and thecommunicatee. Credibility gap acts as a barrier in communication.

    Semantic is the science of meaning. The same words and symbols

    carry different meanings to different people. Difficulties incommunication arise when the sender and receiver of the messageuse words in different senses.

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    The meaning intended by the sender may be different from themeaning followed by the receiver. Status in the hierarchy is the most

    fundamental barrier that obstructs free flow of information.A superior may only give selected information to subordinates so asto make status difference and subordinates tend to convey only thosethings, which the superior would, appreciate.

    Effective communication largely depends upon the effectiveorganizational structure. If the structure is complex, involvingseveral layers of management, a breakdown in communication canarise.

    Moreover information traveling through formal structures introducesrigidity and causes delay because of long line of communication.

    Barriers may also arise due to emotional attitude because whenemotions are strong one cannot judge the predictability of humannature.

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    How to Make Your

    Messages Memorable

    What makes a memorable TV commercial,product design, or marketing campaign? Why doyou listen to certain politicians or businessleaders, and glaze over at the very mention of others? Why is it that you dread opening certainsenders emails, but open others as soon as theyland in your inbox?

    Its all about messaging. When a piece of

    communication is to the point, relevant,worthwhile, and compelling, it moves you thelistener or reader to action.

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    The 4Cs Model of Effective

    Communication The 4Cs model is a useful tool for objectively

    evaluating the effectiveness of many forms ofcommunication: whats working, what isntworking, and why. The 4Cs can assessmarketing communication, as well as businesscommunication, political communication,

    entertainment, and plain old everyday person-to-person communication, from email and

    blogging to relationship talk.

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    The First C: Comprehension

    Does the audience get the message, the main idea,the point? What does the message instantlycommunicate? Can the audience play the message

    back? This confirms that they get it and the firstC is working. Here are three tips for better comprehension:

    Make the message clear and sharp. Repetition helps. Tell them what youre going to

    tell them; next, tell them; and then tell them whatyou told them.

    Keep it simple - dont go too deep.

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    The Second C: Connection

    Making a connection with a communicatedidea or message means not only that theaudience gets it, but that it resonates withthem, has meaning and significance for them,and usually triggers an irrational or emotionalresponse: frustration, excitement, anger,

    passion, joy, happiness, sadness, and so on.When connection is there, it will spark new

    behaviors and actions.

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    The Third C: Credibility

    The audience needs to believe who is saying it(the brand or messengers voice), what is beingsaid, and how it is being said. Otherwise, anyconnection begins to breakdown - immediately.Credibility is the critical C, because the audiencemay completely understand a communicatorsmessage, and even connect with it on anemotional level, then promptly turn around and

    say that coming from this particular source:company, political candidate, supervisor,whatever, they arent buying it.

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    The Fourth C: Contagiousness

    In communications, contagiousness is a goodthing. You want your audience to catch themessage, run with it, and spread it around. Thinkof the last time you saw a TV ad that was sofunny or clever that you discussed it with your friends, found yourself reenacting it, or repeatedthe slogan or catch phr