Commerce_ Year 3

Business Correspondence

E F F E C T I V E B U S I N E S S W R I T I N G

Questions that govern the process of writing

Why? Why do I write?

gives the reasons why that piece of writing is produced

For whom? For whom do I write?

makes the writer concentrate on the reader's interests and needs

What?

What do I write? the writer focuses on the subject that should meet the reader's

needs

How?

How should I write? selection and combination of vocabulary and structures;

order - to create sentences

- to develop them into paragraphs

will enable the reader to interpret the message as intended by the

writer

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STAGES OF THE WRITING PROCESS

1. Evaluating the circumstances and the reasons for writing

Why?

2.

Assessing the readership / audience

- anticipating the reader's

interests

level of understanding

For whom?

3.Deciding on the core information that should be transmitted and its relevant

aspects

What?

4.Working on the message and letting your personality show through

- adapting your writing style to that particular communication situation

How?

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From another point of view:

- planning your writing (why? and for whom?)

- developing a strategy for writing

FACTORS THAT MAY INFLUENCE THE QUALITY OF WRITING

1. THE WORDSa. Denotation and connotation

b. Concrete and abstract words

c. The tone of the message

d. Short or long words?

e. Familiar and unbiased words

1. a. Denotation and connotation

the two co-ordinates of the meaning of every word

words have potential meaning

context

the sender's intention and knowledge

the receiver's understanding and attitude

Denotation = the factual definition of an object / situation / quality / idea etc.

Connotation = how a person feels about a word

A word

- may have more than one denotative meaning

letter

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graphic symbol for a sound A, D, M

information / message sent to somebody

- connotations vary significantly [sometimes antagonistic connotations may be given to the

same word]

ignorant "lack of knowledge"

usually: negative connotation

in legal disputes: positive connotation

My client was totally ignorant of any misuse of funds.

When we write:

to take into account both the denotations and the connotations of the words

to create adequate context

to use dictionaries (synonyms, spelling, cross-reference) creativity

to increase the reader's interest

to create a good impression

Uniqueness of individual writing style

starts to develop in childhood

through the whole learning process

during our whole life

P

b. it reflects:

our background

education

life experience

career training

etc.

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c. necessary:

to help the reader interpret the message in the way we want

additional knowledge about words

1. b. Concrete and abstract words

Concrete words:denotation sends to tangible persons, objects, events, places

Examples: ball, house, excavator, smile, town etc.

They are:

- direct

- precise

- specific in nature

The use of concrete words:- avoids misunderstanding (+)

- cannot express fully what the reader intended (–)

Abstract words: Concepts

Ideas

Feelings

Impressions

Examples: professionalism, friendship, honesty, quality control,

decision-making, debate

Their meaning: more difficult to express

Necessary: - to define them

- to illustrate them

- to place them in adequate context

- to use them with caution

- the reader should know exactly what we mean

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Examples:

1. Group

– a group of close friends

– your office colleagues

– specialists in the same field

– mathematical concept

2. majority, most, few, several – interpretation left to the reader

Business writing – clarity = a main objective

Abstract words Concrete words

1. The amount the client has to pay is large.

The client has to pay $ 20,000

2. The draft will be due in several months.

The draft will be due in three months.

3. We are ready to cover part of these expenses.

We are ready to cover 40 % of these expenses.

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1. c. The tone of the message

Combination of words range of impressions tone of the message

positive

neutral

negative

Difficult task: it involves:

- finding the most appropriate words

- careful selection

- creating adequate context

- dealing with positive and negative words

Generally thought:

negative words negative communication

Examples: no, disappoint, unable, cannot, delay, defect

However:

Examples: "On inspecting the shipment, we were unable to find any flaw".

negative words positive meaning

importance of context

- to convey bad news

- to say no with a negative word

depends on the relationship with the reader/partner

two possibilities

Examples:

a. No complaint will be taken into account after 45 days.

b. Complaints will be taken into account if made within 45 days.

1. d. Short or long words

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Requirement: writing in business is short and simple

Yet the use of short, simple words does not always guarantee clearness

Necessary:

- to consider the reader first

- to decide on the level of writing

Sometimes: short/simple words overused + lose their power

Necessary:

- to use vivid/lively words

- impact on the reader

Examples:

Overused

1. Pursuant to your request, we are enclosing herewith a copy of our financial report.

improved version

2. Here is the financial report you requested.

1. e. Familiar and unbiased words

Recommendation:

to avoid

- jargon

- slang expression

- words showing gender, age, race discrimination

to be more sensitive to people's feelings

to select words that express sensitivity.

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Business letters

General aspects

Communication between companies various means

telephones

fax machines

the Internet

a certain degree of informality that may not illustrate the real nature of the relationship

Consequently any important element in business, discussed or agreed upon the

phone, should be confirmed by an official, formal letter

For this reason (and for many others) writing ability appears in the top three activities

of a business person

Businesses value effective communicators:

being an effective writer can enhance your professional career

people in other departments of the company get to know you through your writing

your letters may get your superiors’ attention showing how effective (or ineffective)

you are as a business communicator.

The layout of a business letter

The layout of a business letter some specific elements

Information about:

the two companies that communicate by letters

the people authorized to communicate on behalf of each company

or may refer to the filing system that enables tracing a letter (or a number of letters in

the correspondence file)

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Letterhead

Date

Inside address

Salutation

Subject line

Main body of the letter

Complimentary line

Author’s signatureTyped namePosition

Enclosures

Reference line

Fig. 1. Main parts of a business letter

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The letterhead

Information about the sender:

the logo

the company’s name and status

its address

telephone/fax number/ e-mail address

The date

There are various ways to express date:

2.11. 2011

2/11/2011

The 1st of November 2011

November 1st, 2011

In business correspondence pattern recommended:

The reference line

Your ref. (“your reference”)

Our ref. (“our reference”)

helps tracing a letter in the file

the name of the person who signed the letter

the name of the typist

the filing code

Example: Your ref.: FW/ms/P25

- the letter was written/signed by Frank Warrington

- it was typed by Mary Storm

- is located in the file P (“petrol”) 25

"Our ref." gives similar information about the sender

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2 November 2011

The inside address indicates the following:

name and address of the addressee

position in the company (e.g. The Supply Manager, The Chief Accountant etc.)

department

mail address – written exactly as given by your partner

The salutation

Forms of address used to open business letters

depend on: the addressee’s status

the social distance between the partners

Dear Sir – when the addressee is a gentleman whose name we do not know;

Dear Sirs – used to address a company;

Dear Madam – the addressee is a lady whose name we do not know;

Dear Mr Robertson/ Dear Mrs/ Ms/Miss Watson – to address a person whose name is

known to the writer;

Dear Bill - used to address a person with whom the writer is on friendly terms

High officials or personalities:

(the addressee’s name is associated with)

- courtesy titles

- titles deriving from appointment or honours

- rewards

Useful information:

- no special form of address for the Prime Minister and members of the

Ministry

- ambassadors are addressed as:

Your Excellency (formal)

Dear Mr Rodson or Dear Lord Bart

The subject line

below the salutation and underlined

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tells what the letter is about

helps the reader direct the letter to the right person

facilitates fast processing of correspondence

Dear Mr Winter

Tax collection

The body of the letter the main text of the letter (the message of the letter)

the rule of the “ four Cs”

clear, concise, correct, courteous

divided into paragraphs

information distributed according to the role of each

paragraph

The opening paragraph

makes connection between the subject line and the rest of the text (" above" or

"above-mentioned")

refers to the source of information, which is used as a basis for the letter you are

writing

The following two or three paragraphs

the proper message of the letter

describe facts/give arguments/ make complaints/ make suggestions etc

(according to the purpose of the letter)

The closing paragraph

emphasises the main idea of the letter

restate the writer’s point of view

conclusion of the letter

The last sentence of this paragraph often contains the formula:

We look/are looking forward to hearing/ receiving news from you

We look/are looking forward to your answer/reply/letter

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The complimentary line

depends on the level of formality

the relationship between the writer and the addressee

directly related to the salutation

Differences between British and American English:

British English

Salutation Complimentary line

Dear Madam / Sir(s) Yours faithfully

Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss Waters/ Dear

colleague/friend/customer

Yours sincerely /Best regards/ wishes/ Kind

regards

Dear Mary Yours/ Best regards/ wishes/ Kind regards

American English

Salutation Complimentary line

Gentlemen:/ Dear Madam / Sir(s) Truly yours/Yours truly/ / Faithfully yours/

Yours faithfully

Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss Hudson Sincerely yours/ Yours sincerely/ Best regards/

Best wishes/Cordially yours

Dear Nicholas Best regards/ Cordially

The signature given together with

the writer's typed name

the writer’s position in the company

If the writer is not the person authorised to sign the letter:

the printed name is preceded by:

“p.p.” (per procurationem) or

“for”:

Mary Smith

p.p. Tom Richard

Supply Manager

Enclosure line the last point of a business letter

abbreviated to Enc./encl.

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gives the list of additional documents sent with the letter:

Encl.: 2 copies of the Monthly Statement

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Fig.2 Business letter (sample).

MEDEQUIP Ltd. 78 Bell Street

Washington DC, WA 5312427 January 2002

Our ref. CG/mn/ T 99

Mr Paul LevinWashington Marketing Society

667 Seventeenth StreetWashington DC

WA 64702

Dear Mr LevinTraining course

We are writing to you in connection with the above-metioned subject, following your article on new trends in marketing published in the December issue of the Marketing Review.

Since your ideas seem very interesting to us, we would like to invite you to deliver some lectures to our sales people within a two-week training course at the beginning of April. We are sure that the new strategy you propose for selling medical equipment will be of great interest to our people.

Could you please confirm, by 15 February 2004, if you would accept our invitation? All the other details will be discussed as soon as we receive your confirmation.

We look forward to your answer.

Yours sincerely,

Marion EvansHuman Resources Manager

Types of business letter layout

Layout patterns/ styles:

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indented style

block style

semi-indented style

The indented style requires:

letterhead

inside address

complimentary close

signature block

each line be indented as compared to the line above

closed punctuation (full stops, commas, etc) is used after each element and line of

these layout items

letter body

the first line of each paragraph is indented

reference line

date line

complimentary line

are placed on the right-hand side

The block style

all layout items are placed on the left-hand side

punctuation is omitted from all the items except for the main letter body

each line of the paragraphs starts in the left-hand margin

paragraphs are separated by double space

The two patterns differ from many points of view

However, the use of punctuation in the main body of the letter is compulsory in both

cases.

Combinations of the two patterns:

semi-block style - (when some elements are placed in the centre of the paper or on the

right-hand side)

semi-indented style indentation of the first line of each paragraph

full punctuation (inside address, salutation, complimentary

line, signature block and enclosure

line)

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Figure 7. Indented style layout (sample).

(letter head)__________________________________

(date)______________(ref. Line) ________

(inside address)_________________

_______________ _____________

___________

(salutation)____________________

__(subject line) _______________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(complimentary line)______________(signature)

(typed name)___________________(position)_________________

(Encl.)______________

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Figure 8. Block style (sample).

(letter head)__________________________________________________

(date)________

(ref.line)________

(inside address)___________________________________________________________________________

(salutation)__________(subject line)_____________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(complimentary line)____________________(signature)(typed name)__________(position)_____________

(Encl)_______________

MAKING AN ENQUIRY

Complete the following letter and then answer the questions:

1. Who writes on behalf of SUNSHINE Hotels?

2. Who is the addressee?

3. What information is given in the first paragraph?

4. What does Mr Carlson say in the second paragraph of his letter?

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SUNSHINE Hotels10 Lion Street

7 AHD AmsterdamThe Netherlands

15 December 2003Your ref:Our ref: AC/gc/ Amst 03

The ROMFAST Bank12 Queen Mary StreetDistrict 3 BucharestRomania

Dear SirsRe: Banking services

We …1… your …2… from Mr Toma Dănescu, General Manager of "RomTour"- Bucharest, who has …3… you as one of the most reliable banks in Romania.

We are …4… the hotel…5… and our …6… of hotels is well-known …7… Europe. We have recently …8… the Romanian market, with two …9… in Bucharest and we would …10… to …11… your bank for paying …12…our staff …12…our suppliers.

We would …14… if you …14… send us …15… about the card system and credit lines you can …16… us.

We look …18… to …19… from you soon.

Yours …20…SCarlssonSteven CarlssonHead of Finance Department

5. Which of the phrases below would you use to refer to Mr. Carlson’s action?

He is arranging a meeting

making payment

sorting out letters

giving a presentation

making an enquiry

making a proposal

Letters of enquiry asking for information

You make an enquiry in order to find out:

where you can find the product

how much you have to pay for it

if you can get a discount

what quantities of that product are available

how soon the supplier may honour your order

what similar products are available on the market

The paragraphs of an enquiry letter have clear functions:

ParagraphFunction Examples

1st introduction

(how you found information about the addressee: name, address, type of business etc.)

"We have found the September issue of your magazine in the library of "RomTour"-Bucharest."

"Mr. Steven Robson, Managing Director of FINDAS Corporation, one of our partners, has recommended your company to us and …"

"We have heard of your firm at the 3rd Fair of Consumer Goods in Tokyo last year."

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2nd ; 3rd giving additional information about the situation;

giving brief information about your company;

offering to give further information;

launching the request.

- "We are in the hotel industry and our chain of hotels is well-known throughout Europe"

- "Our company is involved in road building."

- "We will be happy to offer you further details."

- "We would like your comments on the possibility of organising a joint conference."

- "We would appreciate if you would consider our proposal for a partnership."

"Could you please send us your catalogue and price list?"

last paragraph

- ending the letter (a formal sentence to close politely)

"We look forward to hearing from you."

The general structure of an enquiry letter:

may begin directly with the request

information about the sender + his interest in the request made

has to indicate the source of information, which has facilitated the enquiry

A letters enquiring about people more specific

it shows clearly who you are enquiring about

describes the situation that has led to the enquiry (promotion to a top position,

new employment, a prospective merger/partnership etc.)

Recommendations:

include a set of clear questions that will help the respondent to structure the answer

accordingly

these letters should be very objective

should rely on facts

the information supplied should be used for business purposes only

getting or giving information about someone with the permission from the person

concerned

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such information must be treated confidentially

REPLIES TO ENQUIRIES

A serious businessperson will always answer an enquiry.

Answers:

- positive an order or a contract will follow

- negative (refusal)

Interested in the proposal answer it promptly!

Experienced business people move fast:

confirm the letter: orally, over the phone, by e-mail

a formal letter will be sent later

Read the enquiry reply letter below and then find in its text the parts that comply with the functions given in the list below:

a. confirming receipt of enquiry and thanking for the letter

b. expressing satisfaction for being contacted

c. giving specific information in answer to the questions in the enquiry

d. taking action

e. closing optimistically, expressing hope for future co-operation

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ROMFAST BANK23 King Ferdinand Bulevard

District 1, Bucharest Romania

20 December 2003

Your ref: SC/gc/Rom.03Our ref: OD/ms/ Amst 03

The SUNSHINE Hotels10 Lion Street 7 AHD AmsterdamThe Netherlands

Dear Mr Carlsson,Re: Your letter of 15 December 2003

Thank you for your above-mentioned letter enquiring about our banking services. As you have found out from some of our clients, our standards are high and our services prompt and efficient.

We have recently developed our range of products, including some new credit lines, which are successfully used by many large Romanian firms and foreign companies working in Romania.

We are sending you enclosed a detailed description of our products and hope that you will find them suitable for you. Please contact us by phone or e-mail if you have additional questions. Our staff will be glad to help you make the best choice.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerelyODumitrescuOana DumitrescuHead of Marketing Department

2. Giving negative replies to enquiries

2.a Complete the following sentences that are often used in letters expressing refusal:

1. We are __________ that we ___________ send the goods so soon.

2. We ________sorry ______ we ________ unable to help you ______ developing the

project.

3. We are sorry to _________you that we __________invest in hotel industry.

4. We _________ that we are __________to grant you such a big loan without third-

_______ guarantee.

5. We ____________ inform you _______ the C12 video projectors are _____ of stock.

6. We _________to inform you that the opening you are interested in was filled two

weeks ago.

7. ____________, you have failed to supply the goods as per the contract.

2.b Now fill in the paragraphs below taken from two letters of refusal:

"We …1… to inform you that we no …2… manufacture the projector type you are …3… in.

Instead, we could …4… you a similar product at an affordable …5… and significantly …6…

characteristics."

" Thank you for …1… letter …2…20 June 2004 …3… about a bank …4….

After careful …5… of your documents, we …6… to …7… you that we are …8… to help

you.

…9…, you do not …10… sufficient collateral, as it results …11…your documents."

A letter of refusal

carefully worded

the general tone of the letter respect and understanding

to create a favourable atmosphere for a possible relationship in the future

Stages:

confirm receipt of the enquiry letter

express regret (for not being able to help)

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give reasons for your negative answer

offer an alternative (if possible)

end on a friendly, encouraging tone

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STAR Bank5 Long Street

Edinburgh3E 56 EG

Great Britain

Grungwald and Son24 Forest StreetAmsterdamThe Netherlands

Dear Mr GrundwaldReply to enquiry

Thank you for your letter …1…18 May 2002.

…2… your proposal is very attractive, we …3… that we are …4… to invest in your project for the moment.

…5… some management changes, we …6… restricted our …7… funds for a certain …8…of time. We …9… move back to our …10… investment …11… as …12… as some old …13… will …14…been …15…. We estimate that this will not …16…more …17…six months. …18… your proposal is really interesting; we can take your project as a priority at that time.

Thank you again for your…19….…20… our proposal does …21…fit you, we would like to …22…you every success in the future.

Yours …23…MBrayMary BrayHead of Investments Department