English Drama Assignment XII SCIENCE 1 2011.

February Red Riding Cap

“based on untrue story”

Cast:

Galuh Anidya Pratiwi as Red Riding Cap

Marcella Arum as Wolvie

Deasy Martina as the Woodsman

Nurma Yunita as Grandma

Inka Diah Larasati As Mommy

Maya Shinta as 1st Narator

Sinta Arum as 2nd Narator

Plot:

Once upon a time, in a far away village, Grandma was ill. So Mommy urged her

daughter, the girl known as Red Riding Cap, to travel across the Forbidden Forest to bring

poor Grandma some food… A very special fruit. Unbeknownst to the girl, the Forest was

enchanted, and it was content with unspeakable terror and danger awaited in the form of a

hungry Wolf… But was the beast the only threat along the way? Would Red survive the

day? Who would come to the rescue? Well, would anyone even care to rescue them?

Act I

Fairytale Or What?

(Setting: Red’s Home)

Narator            : Once upon this time, in a far far away village called, well, the Village, lives a

girl who loves wearing a red cap so much, all the time, and so she earned the

name Red Riding Cap. She lives with her mother in a tiny cozy hut. This tale

begins on one fine morning…

Mommy            : (gasps) Gracious goodness me! The sky must have fallen! (from  “Chicken

Licken”)

Red                  : (screams and runs) Kyaaa! Run and save your lives!

Mommy            : Huh?

Red                  : But you said the sky has fallen?

Mommy            : That’s just an idiom, stupid. Look, I’ve just received an sms from your

Grandma, that lousy grumpy useless old woman. She’s ill, and she got no

more food left.

Red                  : Oh, then should I bring her something?

Mommy            : I was considering leaving her starving to death, but since you’re willing to go

to her house, that would be excellent.

(Mommy prepares food basket)

Narator            : It so happens that Grandma lives in the woods, half an hour from the village.

So........

Mommy            : Here you go, girl. This is a poisonous apple… (grins evilishly) I mean,

nutritionous apple for my mother-in-law. Remember one thing: Grandma

must eat this apple immediately! Do not leave the pathway, or you’ll get lost.

Red                  : Okay Mom.(leaves)

Mommy            : Ihihihihihihi.

Narator            : Poor Grandma! I know, I know, that’s the legendary poisonous apple from the

Snow White fairytale! This evil woman will use it to kill the poor old woman

in order to get her inheritance! Anyone please help Grandma!!!

Mommy            :(to Narator) Shut up! Don’t mess up with my brilliant plan! I’ll be rich!

Narator            :(to self) Hmm, I wonder what the poisonous apple is doing here in this story...

(Setting: Forbidden Forest)

 (Red enters, breakdances while listening to iPod)

Narator            : Well, unacknowledged by Red Riding Cap, this Forbidden Forest is full of

terrifying creatures and nasty beasts, and the meanest, wickest, ugliest among

them all is… The Wolf.

(Wolf howls)

Red                  :(shivers) Yikes! What’s that? Scooby-Doo, where are youuu?

(Kunti jumps in)

Red                  :(screams girlishly) Kyaaaa! Syaitan! (peeks through his fingers)

Director            : Cut! Cut! Wrong actor! This is the production of Red Riding Cap, not

Dunia Lain! Get out!

 (Kunti walks out, Wolvie jumps in)

Narator            : Red Riding Cap has never met a wolf  before, so she isn’t scared at all. And

the Wolf speaks…

Red                  :(to Narator) Wait a second! What year is it now?

Narator             :(checks the script) Er, supposedly 18th century.

Red                 : Nah! According to every encyclopedia and historical documents, there has

never been any case of an animal speaks! Wolves can’t speak! (Wolvie  sobs)

So would anyone explain to me why this Wolf can speak?

Narator             : Er, because this is just a fairytale?

Red                  : Oh.

Narator             : What a moron. So, the Wolf speaks…

Wolf                 : Good day to you girl, you’re the Red Riding Cap, aren’t you?

Red                  : Yes I am. Good day to you too, Mrs.Dog.

Wolf                 : I’m not a dog! I’m a wolf!

Red                  : Yes, Mrs.Wolf, I think you’re a very cute dog.

Wolf                 : Aaaargh! Where are you going so early, Red?

Red                  : To Grandma’s house. I’m bringing her some food from my mom.

Narator             : The Wolf thinks to herself…

Wolf                 :(to self) Now that sounds yummy.(counts) A grandma, a little girl and

some fruit for dessert.

Wolf                 :(to Red) Where does your Grandma live, Red Riding Cap?

Red                  :(innocently takes out a map) Not far. (Wolf takes notes / draws on the

whiteboard) We’re in the middle of the Forest, so walk straight north for 50

metres, then turn west, then walk 87 steps to your left, then take a bus to the

nearest McD, then walk north for 90.35 centimetres ahead. For further

information you can send an e-mail to

grandpa_cute_and_lonely@forbiddenforest.com.

Wolf                 :(looks at drawing/notes) That’s just the same as if you tell me to walk

straight north from here!

Red                  : Oh, I love reading maps.

Wolf                 :(sighs) Nice to speak to you, Red Riding Cap.

Red                  : Yeah, me too, Mrs.Dog. Have a nice trip.

Narator            : And it so happens that the Wolf knows a shortcut to Grandma’s house, thanks

to a new busway route by Fauzi Bowo. But unfortunately this shortcut leads

her to the Woodswoman’s place.

Woodswoman   : Baaa! Where are you going so hurrily, Wolvie?

Wolf                  : (surprised) Kyaaa!

Woodswoman   : Hmm, you look suspicious.

Wolf                  : I-I-I’m going to Grandma’s house!

Woodswoman   : A house? Is there any house around here?

Wolf                  : Y-y-yes! A few metres ahead!

Woodswoman   :(to self) Hmm, I would really like a house. I’m homeless and these days

apartments are so expensive! (to Wolf) What are you going to do at

Grandma’s house?

Wolf                  : Umm, have supper!

Woodswoman    : Have supper with Grandma or have Grandma as supper?

Wolf                  : Aih.

Woodswoman   : I won’t let you! Banzaaai! (attacks )

(Wolf and Woodswoman fight ala Matrix)

Who would win? Would Grandma lose her life or her house? Who would come to rescue them

all? Who was the real mastermind behind everything? Would cute and lonely

Grandma receive an e-mail from the Wolf?

Act II

To Eat Or Not To Eat

(Setting: Forbidden Forest)

Narator            : And back to the ring, the Wolf is in the red corner and the Woodswoman is in

the blue corner, punch, punch!

Wolf                 : Eat this! (Wolverine’s ultimate attack)

Woodswoman   : Nooooo!(faints )

Wolf               : Yay! (girls applause and screams)

Narator : Kyaaaa! Wolvie! Ai lap yu! Ehm. Well, thanks to the advantage of the

busway shortcut, the Wolf manages to reach Grandma’s house faster than

Red does.

(Setting: Grandma’s Hut)

Wolf                 :(arrives) Finally! Meal time! Wehehehehe. (produces fork and knife)

(Wolf crashes in)

Grandma           :(on bed) Gracious goodness me! A very big dog! The sky must have

fallen! I must go and tell the King!

Narator             : No, wait, that’s not the correct line!

Wolf                 : Besides, I’m not a dog!!! Can everyone please stop calling me a dog?!

Grandma           :(pulls script out from beneath pillow) Ow, okay, I see.

Director            : Cut! Cut! Let’s start over, everyone! Camera, roll… Action! Star Mild!

Wolf                 : Finally! Meal time! Wehehehehe. (produces fork and knife)

(Wolf crashes in)

Grandma           :(on bed, with a binocular) Yikes! An evil Wolf is coming! I must hide!

(Grandma hides under the bed)

Wolf                  :(creepy voice) Grandma… Delicious old Grandma… Come out, come out,

wherever you are. Bruakakakak.

Narator             : But all of a sudden…

Red                  :(arrives) Yo! Grandma! I’m coming Bro!

Wolf                : What?! That girl! What must I do? Oh, I’d better pretend to be Grandma.

(Wolf jumps onto bed)

Red                  : Grandmommy! I have some food from Mommy!

Wolf                 :(clears throat) Ehm. (with silly voice) Aww, sweetheart, come here.

Red                  :(approaches) Oh Grandma, what big ears you have!

Wolf                 : All the better to hear you with.

Red                  : What big eyes you have!

Wolf                 : All the better to see you with.

Red                  : What big hands you have!

Wolf                 : All the better to grab you with!

Red                  : What a horribly big mouth you have!

Wolf                 : All the better to eat you with!( growls )

Red                  : Kyaaa! Help!

(Woodswoman suddenly breaks in)

Woodswoman   :(to Wolf) We haven’t finished yet! (produces a light-saber)

Wolf                 :(also produces a light-saber) May the Force be with you.

(Wolf and Woodswoman fight ala Star Wars)

Woodswoman   :(stabs on Wolf) Ha! The Force indeed is with me!

(Wolf dies, out of scene)

Woodswoman   :(to Red and Grandma in a very cool way) Do not fear, the monster has

been defeated.

Red & Grandma: Aaaaw. (wink) (girls applause and scream)

Red                     : Oh the mighty Woodswoman, as a gift for your bravery, please have this

nutritionous apple my mother has prepared for my grandma. (gives apple)

Grandma           : Wait, isn’t that supposed to be my meal?

Red                  : Shut up, old woman! She deserves a gift more than you do!

Grandma           :(sobs) I’m hungry…

Woodswoman   :(to self) Hmm, okay then. I will eat this apple first to please them, and then

kill them both and then rule this house forever.

Woodswoman   : Well thank you. I’m honored. (eats apple)

(Woodswoman chokes, then dies)

Red & Grandpa : Whot?!!!

Red                  :(to Narator) What the [censored] is happening?

Narator             :(checks script) Er, it turns out your mother has poisoned the apple to kill

your Grandma in order to get her house and her money.

Grandma           : That little [censored] ! I knew it!

Red                  : Huh, my mom? What a [censored]! What a stupid story!

Woodswoman   :(wakes up) Yeah, so stupid! This [censored] house is supposed to be mine!

Wait a second, this house is ugly! I don’t even wanna have it!

Grandma           : That script is so pointless! I don’t have any important lines besides,

“Aww!”

Red                    : Yeah, and what the [censored] with this thing! (throws cap away) I don’t

even like red! I love pink! Can’t I be the Pink Riding Barbie instead?

Wolf                 :(suddenly enters) And I will never ever eat her! (points at Grandma) I’m

not Sumanto! That daughter of a [censored] doesn’t look delicious at all!

Red                  :(points at Wolf) Plus that [censored] dog should not speak!

Wolf                 : How many times I have to tell you [censored] idiot people! I’m not a

[censored] dog! I’m a [censored] wolf!

Narator             : Shut up! Everyone, stop swearing!!!

Wolf                 : Why the [censored] What the [‘censored’ keeps beeping]

Narator             : Yaaah, error!

(Everyone kills Narator)

Grandma           :(grabs script) And so without the Narator, we all live happily ever after!

The end!

-The End-