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Transcript of Emotionally Intelligent Coaches Make It Happen Beth Puschak [email protected].
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Emotional Intelligence
• Represents a cluster of personal and social competencies
• Emotions, personality, and motivation have much to do with career and life success
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Emotional Intelligence
IQ accounts for only 20 percent of the factors that determine success in life – Cherniss, 1999
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Emotional Intelligence
A leader’s emotional intelligence creates a certain culture in a work environment. Research by Goleman and others shows high levels of EI create climates in which
information sharing, trust, healthy risk-taking and learning flourish.
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Emotional Intelligence
Goleman calls the area of emotions a “largely unexplored continent for scientific psychology.”
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Emotional Intelligence
• Low levels of EI create climates rife with fear and anxiety.
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Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is carried through an organization like electricity through wires.
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Gifts
Sometimes, as coaches, we need to look beyond the present. Thinking about your two most challenging colleagues, complete the activity sheet on gifts. Each person has special skills, knowledge, values, or attributes. List the person’s name under the gift and list three gifts these individuals give to your workplace.
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Gifts
• Was this task difficult for you?• Do you think this would have been easier
to do if your people were not the colleagues who are a challenge?
• Why do you think we completed this activity?
• How can you take this activity to the next level?
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5 Attributes of Individuals who Show Resonance in their Work
1. Knowing one’s emotions
2. Managing one’s emotions
3. Motivating oneself
4. Empathy
5. Handling Relationships
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Personal Competence = Intrapersonal Skills
Knowing one’s emotions
Managing one’s emotions
Motivating oneself
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Knowing One’s Emotions = Self Awareness
• Keystone of emotional intelligence
• Accurate interpretations of self
• Honest with oneself about oneself
• Not overly self critical
• Not naively hopeful
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Knowing One’s Emotions = Self Awareness
• Strong intuition• Reflective• Values drive decisions• Attuned to “what feels right”• Can identify personal areas of
need
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Champion or Chump
• It’s important to think about your own world.
• Take two sheets of paper – Label one CHAMPION; Label the other CHUMP
• Think about this week – what actions of leaders and colleagues contributed to your sense of importance or your lack of it.
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Self Management = Self Regulation
Management of one’s emotionsIncludes:• Trustworthiness• Emotional Self-Control• Conscientiousness• Adaptability• Achievement Drive• Initiative
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Trustworthiness
Maintain standards of honesty and integrity (keeping promises made to oneself and others)
Build trust through reliability
Take tough, principled stands even if they are unpopular
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Emotional Self-Control
Resisting impulse is the root of all emotional self-control
All emotions lead to one or another impulse to act
Stay composed and “unflappable” even in stress
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Conscientiousness
Take responsibility for personal performance
Follow through with commitments
Personal accountability
Thorough and dependable
Strong work ethic
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Adaptability
Flexibility in handling change
Juggle multiple demands without losing focus
Steps beyond to look at a situation from a different perspective
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Drive for Achievement
Set challenging goals
Constantly looking for ways to improve their performance
High standards of excellence
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Initiative
Embrace opportunities that come their way
High sense of efficacy
Solve problems through internal resourcefulness
Form of self-empowerment
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Building Your Self-Awareness
Reflection is critical – Need to know yourself
Try This:Quickly rank order 3 of your colleagues in terms of whose job
you value most to least.
Quickly rank order 3 of your colleagues in terms of whose job performance you consider to be the best to the job performance you consider to be the worst.
What subtle messages might you be sending to these individuals in your daily interaction with them?
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Self Management = Self Regulation
More than recognizing emotions
Requires control of those emotions, no matter how powerful
Can use emotions to enhance relationships
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Reflection
Thinking about your own skills of self management –
Which is your strongest area?
Identify the area where you need further development.
Discuss with a partner.
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Reflection
We need to be able to assess our hearts. Honesty about those inner feelings is
important – and need to come to the surface.
Expression of gratitude is important for all.
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Self-Motivation
Having the zeal or persistence to follow through in the pursuit of goals despite obstacles and setbacks
Operate from a hope of success rather than a fear of failure
Set high standards of excellence
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Social Competence = Interpersonal Skills
Social awareness
Social skills
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Social Awareness
• Empathy is key
• Can sense other peoples’ feelings by attending to their emotional cues
• Can read nonverbal channels
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Social Awareness - Empathy
• Synonymous with sensitivity
• Get into the hearts and heads of other people before attempting to be understood, influence others, or make decisions or judgments
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Social Awareness Relationship Building
• Complex social skills• Can build genuine connectedness to
others• Critical to sense what others need in
order to develop• Relationships develop when people
acknowledge the strengths and accomplishments of others
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Competencies ofRelationship Building
• Inspiration
• Influence
• Developing others
• Change catalyst
• Conflict management
• Collaboration
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Inspiration
• People who can lead others in desired directions
• Articulate shared missions so that others are inspired to follow
Identify someone in your life who is an inspiration to you? Tell why you chose that person.
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Influence
• Develops through hard-work, discipline, and passion
• Skilled at helping others see the need for working toward a goal
• Skilled in persuasionIdentify someone in your life who has positively
influenced you? Tell why you chose that person. How about someone who has had a negative influence on another person? Tell why.
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Developing Others
• Sense what others need in order to develop their abilities
• In developing others, both strengths and weaknesses deserve attention
• Feedback to others is meaningful and constructive
• Adept at cultivating the abilities of others• Give an example of when someone
developed you… another of when you developed someone
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Change Catalyst
• Recognize the need for change
• Orchestrate change through skills and removal of barriers that get in the way of change
• Challenge the status quo
• Champion the change and enlist others in the pursuit
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Conflict Management
• Learn and apply strategies to use during times of stress
• Strong skills of negotiation and diplomacy
• Can deescalate disagreements
• Orchestrate win-win situations
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Cooperation and Collaboration
• Enlists others to “enlarge the shadow of the future”
• People work together to shape their future
• Builds spirit and identity within a collegial framework
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PICTURE THIS
• What cannot be seen on the picture?
• What was going on before the picture?
• What was going on after the picture was taken?
• What else could have happened?
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PICTURE THIS
• How does the picture this activity relate to emotionally intelligent coaches?
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Thinking About Your Workplace
Be prepared to share a title of a song that describes your workplace. Examples: Crazy; Baby I’m Amazed
Why is it important to recognize school culture as a coach?
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Thinking About Your Emotions in the Workplace
Answer the following questions:1. When was the last time you laughed at
work? What made you laugh?
2. Think about a time you felt defeated at work. What made you feel that way?
3. When was the last time you were angry at work? Why were you angry?
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Thinking About Your Emotions in the Workplace
Answer the following questions:4. Think about a time you were overwhelmed at
work. How did this impact the workplace spirit?
5. Think about a time you felt proud at work. What made you feel that way?
6. When was the last time you were disappointed at work? What signs might have been visible to others to show your emotion?
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Full Contributors
Complete the bar graph activity.
Reflect on the questions because they can help you in your work.
Why is it so critical that coaches assess these issues?
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Emotional Competencies
• Development is a complex, lifetime journey
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Emotional Competencies
• Coaches need to “drive the collective emotions in positive directions and clear the smog created by toxic emotions”
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Emotional Intelligence
Can be learned and further developed
It’s your choice – build EI or ignore EI?
Thanks! Hope you enjoyed this presentation.