EMOTIONAL WELLN 3MATT...EMOTIONAL WELLN 3MATT VOLUME XIX. NUMBER 2 ferlb^ill i "tT\ home should be a...
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EMOTIONAL WELLN 3MATT VOLUME XIX. NUMBER 2 ferlb^ill i "tT\ home should be a happy place, or at least a sale /\\ place. Dealing daily with the outside world, with II \\ its tensions, pressures, and surprises, can be " \-i difficult. The home is a place to come back to, a place to feel free, relaxed, and comfortable. The home should be the place where we feel loved and accepted just for being ourselves. This is, of course, an ideal descrip tion of what a home can be. In truth, home is also the place where our personal con flicts are worked out, sometimes in destructive ways. Our internal conflicts may involve issues of anger, power, and control - all of which can lead to verbal abuse. The ver bally abusive household is usually not a happy place, and, in extreme conditions, it might not be a safe place. It is important to recognize verbal abuse when it occurs - and then do something about it. Fortunately, there arc effec tive ways of dealing with such situations and making the home a safe haven. Verbal abuse leaves no physical scars, but the emotional wounds can be just as deep and recovery can be pro longed. On the surface, others may see both the verbal abuser and the victim of the abuse as a happy couple, the nicest of people. But behind the scenes there exists a subtle pattern of manipulation and intimidation, unreason able demands, sarcasm, and angry outbursts. At the onset of these relationships, everything may seem wonderful. The person who later becomes verbally abusive may shower the eventual victim with gifts and compliments and make that person feel like the most important person in the world. Gradually, however, the relationship dete riorates. The abuser's anger and need for control arc pro jected onto the victim. The victim is blamed for not being "good enough," and the relationship gradually turns into Kenneth A. De Luca, Ph.D. & Associates, Inc. PSYCHOLOGICAL. COUNSELING & EDUCATIONAL SERVICES Kenneth A. DcLuca, Ph.D. is the recipient of the Ohio Psychological Association Award of Excellence. We are sincerely committed to assisting persons, of all ages, lead more healthy, happy, fulfilling and productive lives. We provide services which enable individuals to resolve and/or cope more effectively with problems and concerns that interfere with the process of living. These problems may be personal or related to a member of the family, to a significant oilier person, or job and career. NORTH RIDGEVILLE OFFICE Center Pointe, Suite 5 35888 Center Ridge Road North Ridgeville, Ohio 44039 ELYRIA OFFICE 5329 North Abbe Road, Suite I Elyria, Ohio 44035 ROCKY RIVER OFFICE Westgatc Tower Building 20525 Center Ridge Road, Suite 612 Rocky River, Ohio 44116 SANDUSKY OFFICE 2525 Columbus Avenue Sandusky, Ohio 44870 WESTLAKE OFFICE 2001 Crocker Road, Suite 600 Wcsdake. Ohio 44145 Phone: (440) 327-1800 ~ 800-686-0327 Fax:(440)327-1533 w\v\v.kcn<lchicainc.or«;
Transcript of EMOTIONAL WELLN 3MATT...EMOTIONAL WELLN 3MATT VOLUME XIX. NUMBER 2 ferlb^ill i "tT\ home should be a...
EMOTIONAL WELLN
3MATTVOLUME XIX. NUMBER 2
ferlb^ill
i"tT\ home should be a happy place, or at least a sale/\\ place. Dealing daily with the outside world, with
II \\ its tensions, pressures, and surprises, can be" \-i difficult. The home is a place to come back to,a place to feel free, relaxed, and comfortable. The homeshould be the place where we feel loved and accepted justfor being ourselves. This is, of course, an ideal description of what a home can be.
In truth, home is also the place where our personal conflicts are worked out, sometimes in destructive ways. Ourinternal conflicts may involve issues of anger, power, andcontrol - all of which can lead to verbal abuse. The ver
bally abusive household is usually not a happy place, and,in extreme conditions, it might not be a safe place. It isimportant to recognize verbal abuse when it occurs - andthen do something about it. Fortunately, there arc effective ways of dealing with such situations and making thehome a safe haven.
Verbal abuse leaves no physical scars, but the emotionalwounds can be just as deep and recovery can be prolonged. On the surface, others may see both the verbalabuser and the victim of the abuse as a happy couple,the nicest of people. But behind the scenes there exists asubtle pattern of manipulation and intimidation, unreasonable demands, sarcasm, and angry outbursts. At the onsetof these relationships, everything may seem wonderful.The person who later becomes verbally abusive mayshower the eventual victim with gifts and complimentsand make that person feel like the most important personin the world. Gradually, however, the relationship deteriorates. The abuser's anger and need for control arc projected onto the victim. The victim is blamed for not being"good enough," and the relationship gradually turns into
Kenneth A. De Luca, Ph.D.& Associates, Inc.
PSYCHOLOGICAL. COUNSELING
& EDUCATIONAL SERVICES
Kenneth A. DcLuca, Ph.D. is the recipient ofthe Ohio Psychological Association Award of
Excellence.
We are sincerely committed to assisting persons,of all ages, lead more healthy, happy, fulfilling andproductive lives. We provide services which enableindividuals to resolve and/or cope more effectivelywith problems and concerns that interfere with theprocess of living. These problems may be personalor related to a member of the family, to a significantoilier person, or job and career.
NORTH RIDGEVILLE OFFICECenter Pointe, Suite 5
35888 Center Ridge RoadNorth Ridgeville, Ohio 44039
ELYRIA OFFICE
5329 North Abbe Road, Suite IElyria, Ohio 44035
ROCKY RIVER OFFICE
Westgatc Tower Building20525 Center Ridge Road, Suite 612
Rocky River, Ohio 44116
SANDUSKY OFFICE
2525 Columbus Avenue
Sandusky, Ohio 44870
WESTLAKE OFFICE2001 Crocker Road, Suite 600
Wcsdake. Ohio 44145
Phone: (440) 327-1800 ~ 800-686-0327Fax:(440)327-1533
w\v\v.kcn<lchicainc.or«;
