ElephantMargie Stokley

(Michelle)

(He died twenty minutes from our house … don’t bother leaning in, Tad,

that’s about all you’re gonna get. Stay tuned.)

I know this girl … Danielle … her best friend Cheryl was killed last year.

(They weren’t family. They chose to spend the years together, and that’s cool. ) I

didn’t know Cheryl well. We weren’t really friendly. She sat in front of me in Social

Studies. But after she died, Danielle looked different. I looked at her differently…

everyone did.

Kinda like the way you are all looking at me now. You feel sorry for me. You

can’t help it. I get it. But when Danielle came to my brother’s wake – I was excited –

for real excited! Excited that finally there was someone in the fucking room who

had been broken too. And it gave me hope. (Exaggerated.) HOPE. Hope that

someday I’ll walk into a room and the sign on my forehead reading lost, broken and

angry will be gone.

The good news is he can’t die twice. Once you’re dead … you’re dead! Game

over. You go to rest knowing you’ll never be sad again. You’ll never be told “no.”

You’ll never have someone you know die. You’ll never be sent to an institution and

forced to take someone named Tad seriously. Sounds like heaven to me. Sign me

up! Now let’s recap – My brother’s dead. My family can’t start over. I’m here. My

life sucks. Next.