Elephant Exercises & Activities - Annette Earl · Elephant Exercise: What did you want to be when...
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Elephant Exercises & Activities Annette Earl
Transcript of Elephant Exercises & Activities - Annette Earl · Elephant Exercise: What did you want to be when...
Elephant Exercises & Activities
Annette Earl
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Contents
A word before we begin ....................................................................................................................... 4
Chapter 1 Exercises .............................................................................................................................. 5
Elephant Exercise: In Three Words... ............................................................................................... 5
Chapter 2 Exercises .............................................................................................................................. 6
Elephant Exercise: What did you want to be when you grew up? .................................................. 6
Elephant Exercise: Money on your mind ......................................................................................... 7
Elephant Exercise: Small change, big difference ............................................................................. 8
Chapter 3 Exercises .............................................................................................................................. 9
Elephant Exercise: Do you like yourself? ......................................................................................... 9
Elephant Exercise: Do you know what you want? ......................................................................... 10
Elephant Exercise: Take a pause .................................................................................................... 11
Chapter 4 Exercises ............................................................................................................................ 12
Elephant Unleashed: Wheel of Life ................................................................................................ 12
Wheel of Life (Template)................................................................................................................ 13
Chapter 5 Exercises ............................................................................................................................ 14
Elephant Exercise: Analysing Beliefs .............................................................................................. 14
Elephant Exercise: What’s motivating the change in your life? .................................................... 15
Chapter 6 Exercises ............................................................................................................................ 16
Elephant Exercise: Shooting for confidence .................................................................................. 16
Elephant Exercise: Connecting confidence to beliefs .................................................................... 17
Elephant Exercise: Seizing control? ................................................................................................ 18
Chapter 7 Exercises ............................................................................................................................ 19
Elephant Exercise: What are you ‘shoulding’ yourself about? ...................................................... 19
Elephant Exercise: What are your values? ..................................................................................... 20
Chapter 8 Exercises ............................................................................................................................ 21
Elephant Unleashed: Be, Do, Have ................................................................................................ 21
Elephant Exercise: Priorities........................................................................................................... 22
Elephant Exercise: Designing your Wheel...................................................................................... 23
Elephant Exercise: Attention! Attention! ...................................................................................... 25
Chapter 9 Exercises ............................................................................................................................ 26
Elephant Exercise: Relationship buckets ....................................................................................... 26
Elephant Exercise: Who drains you? .............................................................................................. 27
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Chapter 10 Exercises .......................................................................................................................... 28
Elephant Exercise: SWOT yourself! ................................................................................................ 28
Elephant Exercise: Understanding fears and drivers ..................................................................... 29
Elephant Exercise: From experience comes quality ...................................................................... 30
Elephant Exercise: Money messages ............................................................................................. 31
Elephant Exercise: Choose your path, choose your information .................................................. 32
Elephant Exercise: Noticing your environment ............................................................................. 33
Chapter 11 Exercises .......................................................................................................................... 35
Elephant Exercise: Health-check .................................................................................................... 35
Elephant Exercise: Taking your temperature AKA establishing your healthy baseline ................ 36
Elephant Exercise: What additions do you need to include in your life? ...................................... 37
Chapter 12 Exercises .......................................................................................................................... 38
Elephant Exercise: Set some goals ................................................................................................. 38
Next Steps .......................................................................................................................................... 39
Disclaimer
Please note that the exercises reproduced in this document were originally published in The
Elephant In The Mirror and are intended only to inform and entertainment. They are not intended as
a substitute for any form of health diagnosis or the medical advice of physicians. The reader should
regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any
symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.
Copyright 2016 - All Rights Reserved – Annette Earl
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A word before we begin
Hey there!
I’m so pleased you’ve downloaded this exercise booklet – change only happens when we take action
and that’s exactly what you’ve done so congratulations. It takes courage to show up and commit to
doing things differently but as the saying goes, ‘If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what
you’ve always got’.
So it’s time to do something different and that’s what the exercises were designed for - to help you
reflect on where you are right now and figure out where you’d like to get to. These are all the
exercises from The Elephant In The Mirror but all in one place and ready for you to print out and
work through whenever and wherever you like.
The exercises are identical to those in the book but in one or two cases, I have amended them so
that they read more easily when all bunched together (e.g. taken out references to chapter
references) and therefore are easier to work through.
Remember that there are no prizes for finishing first and this isn’t homework – there’s nobody to
mark your answers or judge or criticise. It may be that some exercises aren’t relevant for you right
now and others which you want to tackle more than once to get clarity on the outcome. That’s
absolutely fine – I strongly encourage you to use them in whatever way works for you.
So grab a pen, get comfy and give yourself the time and space you deserve to work through these
exercises and start to uncover some of the truths and insights about one of the most intriguing and
fascinating subjects there is – you.
Enjoy …
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Chapter 1 Exercises
Elephant Exercise: In Three Words...
If you could sum up your relationship with each of these groups in three words, what would they be?
Parents: [1]
[2]
[3]
Partner: [1]
[2]
[3]
Friends: [1]
[2]
[3]
Colleagues: [1]
[2]
[3]
Online: [1]
[2]
[3]
(Other): [1]
[2]
[3]
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Chapter 2 Exercises Elephant Exercise: What did you want to be when you grew up?
Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? Do you remember why? What was it
that made the idea so appealing?
When I was 5, I wanted to be a:
It appealed because:
When I was 10, I wanted to be a:
It appealed because:
When I was 15, I wanted to be a:
It appealed because:
When I was 20, I wanted to be a:
It appealed because:
If you could give your younger self one piece of work-related advice to follow, what would it be?
I would tell my younger self:
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Elephant Exercise: Money on your mind
How do you feel about money?
What five words come to mind when you think of money?
What are your main sources of information when it comes to learning about money?
If you could change your relationship with money, would you? If so, in what way?
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Elephant Exercise: Small change, big difference
Write the first word that springs to mind that sums up how your environment looks, sounds and feels.
Circle the one that is most important to you in each environment.
Environment Looks Sounds Feels
Home
Work
Transport/Commute
Leisure Time
Holidays
What single small change could you make to improve your environment in the way that matters most?
The one change I could make to improve my _______________ environment would be to:
Continue with other environments and locations where you spend time to identify further changes
you could make to improve your surroundings.
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Chapter 3 Exercises
Elephant Exercise: Do you like yourself?
Before we go any further, take a moment to answer the question. Yes, I know it sucks. Nobody likes
answering this one. But look at it this way: if you’re feeling resistant, that means we’re on the right
track because there’s something to uncover. So, deep breath and… Do you like yourself? Write the
first thing that comes into your head and don’t censor yourself. There’s no right or wrong answer and
it’s not a test.
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Elephant Exercise: Do you know what you want?
Answer each of the following questions, noting the emphasis in bold.
WHAT do you want?
What DO you want?
What do YOU want?
What do you WANT?
Do your answers change depending on how the question is asked? If so, in what way?
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Elephant Exercise: Take a pause
Find a place where you can be quiet and won’t be disturbed. Sit with a pen and paper next to you. Set
a timer for 10 minutes and use that time to just be silent. Notice the thoughts that your mind
immediately turns towards, but don’t try to influence them or stop them. At the end of the 10 minutes,
write down your observations. When you have nothing but your internal chatter to listen to, what
does it say?
Repeat this exercise whenever you are getting lost in the noise around you or when you need to
reconnect with your inner voice and hear what it has to say.
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Chapter 4 Exercises
Elephant Unleashed: Wheel of Life
To carry out the Wheel of Life exercise, simply draw a circle and divide it into eight equal sections
through the centre point, like dividing up a cake. Within each segment, mark out small evenly spaced
lines to represent a number from 1 to 10 (with 0 being the centre point, up to 10 at the edge). Of
course, if you’d like a ready-made Wheel of Life, you can just use the one on the next page
Each section of the Wheel represents an area of your life. Decide which eight aspects of your life are
the most important and title each section accordingly. It is common for people to choose topics like
friends, family, health, job, travel and so on but there are absolutely no rules – whatever is important
to you makes it eligible.
Once you’ve labelled each section, the next step is to give it a mark out of 10 (10 being the highest)
based on how satisfied you are right now with that area of your life. Draw a line across that section to
show the mark you give it. Do this for all eight sections. Once you’ve finished, look at where the lines
are. Do they still form a perfect circle?
Spend a few minutes analysing what the shape is telling you; which areas you’re doing well in; which
areas you’d like to do some work on. Notice the correlations and interdependencies; for example, if
you were to focus on improving one area, how might this affect the other areas? It’s important not to
aim for perfect 10s across the board but instead ask yourself what you need to do to increase your
satisfaction one point at a time and go from there. (For instance, if you’ve rated something a 6, what
needs to happen to make it a 7?)
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Wheel of Life (Template)
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Chapter 5 Exercises
Elephant Exercise: Analysing Beliefs
Choose a belief that you have found sometimes makes you uncomfortable or doesn’t seem to serve
you very well and answer the following questions. Don’t worry if you can’t answer them immediately
or all at once – take as much time as you need.
Where did this belief come from? Who or what gave it to me?
When exactly did I decide this belief was true?
What evidence do I have that this belief is true?
What evidence is there to suggest this belief is untrue?
Do I want to continue to believe this? Does this belief help me to achieve what I want in life?
If I were to change this belief and replace it with another, what would I choose to believe instead?
Repeat this exercise for any belief you hold and would like to understand better or potentially
change for one that would serve you.
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Elephant Exercise: What’s motivating the change in your life?
Identify three examples of things you would like to change in your world. What’s the reason for
wanting the change? Is this a towards or an away-from motivation?
Change I’d like to make:
Reason I want this change:
Towards or away-from motivation?
Change I’d like to make:
Reason I want this change:
Towards or away-from motivation?
Change I’d like to make:
Reason I want this change:
Towards or away-from motivation?
Change I’d like to make:
Reason I want this change:
Towards or away-from motivation?
Change I’d like to make:
Reason I want this change:
Towards or away-from motivation?
Reflecting on the examples above, what appears to be your primary motivation? Does knowing this
change how you approach decisions in the future? If so, how?
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Chapter 6 Exercises
Elephant Exercise: Shooting for confidence
One of the best ways to give a desire context is to turn it into a goal. Therefore, the first C of confidence
is to do just that – creating context so that confidence becomes a goal.
Imagine one of the segments in the Wheel of Life was about confidence. How satisfied are you with
this area of your life right now? What number would you give yourself? Is this a number you’re
comfortable with or is confidence an area of priority for you to work on?
An alternative exercise is to rename the wheel and use it as a Wheel of Confidence. Title each segment
with an area of your life you need/would like confidence in and rate accordingly. This will give you a
clear indication of which areas to focus on.
Want a hint? Don’t try to gain confidence in every area at once. Pick the area most important to you
and start there.
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Elephant Exercise: Connecting confidence to beliefs
If you believe you have little or no confidence, then it’s worth repeating the Analysing Beliefs Exercise
with this specific focus in mind:
Where did the belief that I am not confident come from? Who or what gave it to me?
When exactly did I decide that I am not confident?
What evidence do I have that I am not confident?
What evidence is there to suggest that I am confident?
Do I want to continue to believe that I am not confident? Does this belief help me to achieve the
things I want in life?
If I were to change the belief that I am not confident and replace it with another, what would I
choose to believe instead?
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Elephant Exercise: Seizing control?
If there’s a situation where you currently feel you have little or no control, this can be a helpful
exercise. Try answering this powerful question with as much or as little detail as necessary:
Who or what am I giving my control away to?
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Chapter 7 Exercises
Elephant Exercise: What are you ‘shoulding’ yourself about?
We all do it, all of the time. It’s so integral to our self-talk we don’t even notice. Until now. Identify
three ‘shoulds’ you tell yourself on a regular basis and ask why they need to happen and what would
happen if they didn’t. There are no right or wrong answers. Just write down the first answers that
come to you.
1. I should…
Why should you? What would happen if you didn’t do this?
2. I should…
Why should you? What would happen if you didn’t do this?
3. I should…
Why should you? What would happen if you didn’t do this?
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Elephant Exercise: What are your values?
Below is a list of commonly held values. Circle the 10 that most resonate with you. If a value seems
like it ‘almost’ fits but not quite, substitute it for one that does.
Achievement
Ambition
Balance
Being the best
Belonging
Commitment
Compassion
Consistency
Continuous improvement
Contribution
Control
Creativity
Empathy
Equality
Fairness
Freedom
Fun
Growth
Happiness
Hard work
Honesty
Humility
Independence
Justice
Loyalty
Making a difference
Openness
Originality
Perfection
Positivity
Practicality
Professionalism
Reliability
Resilience
Security
Self-control
Selflessness
Self-reliance
Stability
Strength
Success
Tolerance
Of the ten you have selected, which five values are top of the list. We can call these your core values.
My Core Values:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
This is only a small selection of possibilities. Search the internet for any one of the numerous lists out
there and come up with the 10 words that represent your values best.
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Chapter 8 Exercises
Elephant Unleashed: Be, Do, Have
Complete the following table as honestly and openly as you can. It’s important that you don’t let
‘common sense’ hold you back. (Remember, you don’t have to know how you will do it at this stage).
What do you want to be? What do you want to do? What do you want to have?
Things I want to... BE
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Things I want to... DO
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Things I want to... HAVE
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
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Elephant Exercise: Priorities
Consider each of the statements you made in the previous exercise.
How important is this to you? Give it a rating out of 5 (where 5 is of the most importance).
When do you need/want this to happen?
Which area of the Wheel of Life does this statement relate to?
BE
Importance When Wheel of Life Area
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
DO
Importance When Wheel of Life Area
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
HAVE
Importance When Wheel of Life Area
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
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Elephant Exercise: Designing your Wheel
Plot each statement on your Wheel of Life within the section it relates to (as identified in the
previous exercise).
The Wheel below shows a timeline of up to a year (12 months) but if this doesn’t work for
you, then grab a clean sheet of paper and draw it again making it your own.
Colour code each number to show its importance (e.g. red for 5, green for 1).
Example:
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Elephant Exercise: Attention! Attention!
Spend some time analysing your Wheel. Is one area more crowded than the others? Are your timelines
realistic to do all the things you want? Which statement is the most important? And which one
deserves your time most urgently?
If your Wheel is your mirror, what is the single most important action you need to take to get
the reflection you want?
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Chapter 9 Exercises
Elephant Exercise: Relationship buckets
Which bucket does each of your relationships fall into most often? (There may well be more than one.)
Complete the table below.
1 – Energising 4 - Unsupportive
2 – Constructive Critic 5 – Negative Critic
3 – Supportive 6 - Draining
1 2 3 4 5 6
Parents
Partner
Siblings
Wider family
Friends
Colleagues
Online
Are there any surprises?
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Elephant Exercise: Who drains you?
Do these descriptions remind you of anyone in your life? If so, are you comfortable with these
relationships as they are? Pick a relationship to focus on and work through the following questions.
Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. This is just a way of clarifying your own thoughts and
feelings on a difficult subject.
Relationship:
How do I feel when I’m with this person?
What is it that makes me feel this way?
How would I like to feel when I’m with them?
How would I likely feel if I spent more time with them?
How would I likely feel if I spent less time with them?
Overall, are there any changes for me to make in this relationship?
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Chapter 10 Exercises
Elephant Exercise: SWOT yourself!
Have a go at completing the grid below, using the following questions as a guide:
What strengths do I or could I bring to my job?
What weaknesses do I need to address to do the work I want?
In changing my job, what opportunities present themselves?
In changing jobs, what threats may appear?
Go back and add to the list several times until you have captured as many answers as possible. Review
each area. How do you feel about what you see? Do your strengths inspire you? Do your weaknesses
motivate you to take action? Do the opportunities excite you?
Strengths
Weaknesses
Opportunities
Threats
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Elephant Exercise: Understanding fears and drivers
Based on your SWOT analysis, consider your biggest fear around work when you look into the future.
What’s your biggest driver? Otherwise put: what single thing motivates you to make a change more
than anything else?
Biggest fear:
Biggest driver:
Looking at the benefits of making a change in your work, if you were working in your dream job, how
would this affect your life overall?
Benefits:
Be as clear and specific as you can and refer back to this exercise regularly. Change it, add to it and
amend it any way you want until it is just right.
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Elephant Exercise: From experience comes quality
Identify the qualities you’ve shown in your professional life to date. Combine these with your SWOT
analysis – you’re now building a strong foundation on which to build your new career.
Achievement: e.g. Worked for the same company for 5 years
Underlying Quality: e.g. Loyalty
Achievement:
Underlying Quality:
Achievement:
Underlying Quality:
Achievement:
Underlying Quality:
Achievement:
Underlying Quality:
Achievement:
Underlying Quality:
Achievement:
Underlying Quality:
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Elephant Exercise: Money messages
There are plenty of views about money around. Looking back, what were the messages you were told
most often about money as you were growing up...?
Money Message 1:
Money Message 2:
Money Message 3:
Money Message 4:
Money Message 5:
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Elephant Exercise: Choose your path, choose your information
Pick the path most relevant to you in your financial life right now and think about where you get your
information. Resolve to find at least three new credible sources to help you understand money better
and improve your relationship with it.
Debt Resources:
Saving Resources:
Investing Resources:
Use this as an opportunity to either start or further your financial education. Review your list regularly
to ensure you’re getting accurate, relevant information that’s right for you.
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Elephant Exercise: Noticing your environment
Identify the elements that are most positive from your environment. Then write down what the
negatives are.
Environment
(e.g. work, home)
Positive Elements Negative Elements
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How often are you exposed to each of these elements on a weekly basis? Plot each one you identified
in the grid below.
Looking at the grid above, is there anything you can do to alter your environment so more things
appear in the top right square (or at the very least so that fewer things appear in the top left)? It may
involve some work to make it happen but wouldn’t it be worth it?
Things I can do to improve my environment:
Positive Negative
Rarely
Constantly
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Chapter 11 Exercises
Elephant Exercise: Health-check
Identify a quality, characteristic or feature of yourself. What are the first three words that you
associate with it? On reflection, are these your words or were they given to you by someone else?
Quality/Characteristic:
Words I associate: [1]
[2]
[3]
Others’ words or mine?
Quality/Characteristic:
Words I associate: [1]
[2]
[3]
Others’ words or mine?
Quality/Characteristic:
Words I associate: [1]
[2]
[3]
Others’ words or mine?
Take a moment to reflect on your answers. Note down any patterns or insights that occur to you.
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Elephant Exercise: Taking your temperature AKA establishing your healthy baseline
Take a clean sheet of paper and carry out the following exercise. Be as honest as you can – the greater
your honesty, the more accurate your baseline will be.
1. List all the things that are currently compromising your health, no matter how big or small,
frequently or infrequently, noting whether they are affecting your mental, physical or emotional well-
being.
2. Review each item, noting how significantly it impacts your daily life.
3. Have you recently taken steps to help improve it?
4. Reflect on your responses, what do you notice? Are there any patterns?
5. How would you describe your overall health baseline?
Set yourself a reminder to ‘take your temperature’ on a regular basis so that you can monitor any
changes and review your progress.
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Elephant Exercise: What additions do you need to include in your life?
What could you start to include in your routine to help ‘crowd out’ what you’d like to change or
minimise?
Thing I want to change Add-ins - what I could add to my routine to help
Is there one overall action you could start to include that would make a positive impact in your world
almost immediately?
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Chapter 12 Exercises
Elephant Exercise: Set some goals
Spend some time creating and refining your goals. You can set as many as you like – vary them to
include some that are small and easily achievable as well as those that may be challenging but life-
changing.
You don’t have to actually do any or all of them unless you want to - this exercise is designed purely
to practise writing goals so that you’re setting yourself up for success.
It is the [today’s date] and I am/I have…
Using this format, write down as many goals as you can on a sheet of paper. Keep it somewhere visible
so you frequently remind yourself what your future looks like!
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Next Steps
Hey, you made it to the end! I hope you have found this exercise booklet useful and helpful in
figuring out the steps you need to take to get from where you are now to where you want to be.
But what now? Is that it? What’s next?
I think it’s really important to remember that the exercises aren’t time-limited; they are there for
you to use and re-use again and again. Lives change, new challenges crop up, new elephants appear
– that’s just life. If that happens for you, go back and read the relevant chapters in the book and re-
take the exercises that offer some insight into the best way forward.
But I understand that sometimes we all need a little extra help and the task ahead is just a bit too big
to tackle alone. So if you’ve read the book, completed all the exercises and are still unsure what to
do next then get in touch with me and let’s figure it out together.
Whether it’s not knowing where to start to coming up with a personalised action plan for making
change happen in a particular area of your life, I’m excited to help you figure out the steps you need
to take to love your elephant, love your mirror and love your life.
Email me at [email protected] and let’s talk!
Look forward to speaking with you soon,
P.S. If you haven’t already, make sure you sign-up on the website (www.elephantinthemirror.com)
to get your bonus book chapter, ‘Adjusting the lens on … the pitfalls of procrastination’. Full
disclosure; yes, there are another two exercises in it. But at least you can procrastinate over them! ;)
