Elder Visits What will we do today? Visits to 4 types of people Visitors Visitors The Grieving The...

Elder VisitsElder Visits

What will we do today?What will we do today?

Visits to 4 types of peopleVisits to 4 types of people

• VisitorsVisitors

• The GrievingThe Grieving

• The StrayingThe Straying

• The DisciplesThe Disciples

Demonstrate each type of visitDemonstrate each type of visit

Visitor VisitsVisitor Visits

What do visitors want?What do visitors want?

Freedom from pressureFreedom from pressure

Acceptance into the CommunityAcceptance into the Community

InformationInformation

Visitor VisitsVisitor Visits

How do you visit visitors?How do you visit visitors?

Briefly (often less than 15 minutes)Briefly (often less than 15 minutes)

Informatively Informatively

Graciously (not intrusive/gift giving) Graciously (not intrusive/gift giving)

Soon (within 48 hours)Soon (within 48 hours)

Grief VisitsGrief Visits

What is grief?What is grief?

Grief is not an emotion.Grief is not an emotion.

Grieving people can experience a Grieving people can experience a range of emotions all at once.range of emotions all at once.

Grief VisitsGrief VisitsWhat are What are allall the possible the possible

emotions?emotions?

Joy

Sadness

Anger Fear

Empowers

Weakens

Attack!

Forget Everything And Run


What is grief?What is grief?

Grief is not an emotion.Grief is not an emotion.

Grieving people can experience a Grieving people can experience a range of emotions all at once.range of emotions all at once.

Grief is the time of re-adjustment Grief is the time of re-adjustment after the loss of any kind in our after the loss of any kind in our lives.lives.


What causes grief?What causes grief?

Any loss, no matter how trivial.Any loss, no matter how trivial.

1.1. Death (family, friend, Death (family, friend, associate, stranger, pet)associate, stranger, pet)

2.2. DivorceDivorce

3.3. Loss of employmentLoss of employment

4.4. Moving to a new townMoving to a new town


What causes grief?What causes grief?

5.5. AgingAging

6.6. Loss of a friendshipLoss of a friendship

7.7. Loss of personal possessions Loss of personal possessions (theft, fire, misplacing) (theft, fire, misplacing)

8.8. Death of a dream/life changeDeath of a dream/life change(miscarriage, empty nest (miscarriage, empty nest syndrome, midlife crisis)syndrome, midlife crisis)


What is the purpose of a Grief Visit?What is the purpose of a Grief Visit?

1.1. Reconnect or deepen the link Reconnect or deepen the link between the person and the between the person and the congregationcongregation

2.2. Bringing them the love and Bringing them the love and comfort of Christ in a tangible comfort of Christ in a tangible wayway


What are the “Stages” of GriefWhat are the “Stages” of Grief

Denial (Denial (Fear/JoyFear/Joy))

AngerAnger

Negotiation (Negotiation (Fear/SadnessFear/Sadness))

Depression (Depression (SadnessSadness))

Acceptance (Acceptance (JoyJoy))

Grief VisitsGrief VisitsWhat are What are allall the possible the possible

emotions?emotions?

Joy

Sadness

Anger Fear

Acceptance

Depression

Anger Denial

Negotiations

Grief VisitsGrief VisitsJob’s “Comforters”Job’s “Comforters”

(How not to do a grief visit)(How not to do a grief visit)

““What miserable comforters you What miserable comforters you all are!”all are!”

Jobs friends are intellectually and Jobs friends are intellectually and theologically correct in all they theologically correct in all they

say,say,

and totally wrong because:and totally wrong because:


Job’s “Comforters”Job’s “Comforters”

1.1. They spoke about things they They spoke about things they did not understanddid not understand

2.2. They judged Job by his They judged Job by his circumstancescircumstances

3.3. They did not empathize with They did not empathize with Job’s feelings.Job’s feelings.

1.1. They spoke They spoke about things they about things they did not understanddid not understand

2.2. They judged They judged Job by his Job by his circumstancescircumstances

3.3. They did not empathize They did not empathize with with Job’s feelings.Job’s feelings.


Top 10 Stupid things people sayTop 10 Stupid things people say

1.1. It will be alrightIt will be alright

2.2. God has a planGod has a plan

3.3. He’s in a better placeHe’s in a better place

4.4. I understand how you feelI understand how you feel

5.5. We’ll/you’ll get/have anotherWe’ll/you’ll get/have another


6.6. Time will heal itTime will heal it

7.7. Don’t cryDon’t cry

8.8. Don’t talk about itDon’t talk about it

9.9. You’ll get over thisYou’ll get over this

10.10. God has something better God has something better for youfor you

Top 10 Stupid things people sayTop 10 Stupid things people say


LIFTTTing peopleLIFTTTing people

1.1. LListenisten

2.2. IIgnorance about circumstancegnorance about circumstance

3.3. FFeelingseelings

4.4. TTouchouch

5.5. TTestimonyestimony

6.6. TTangible helpangible help

Discipline VisitsDiscipline Visits

What is our mandate?What is our mandate?

If a brother or sister sins, go If a brother or sister sins, go point out the fault just between point out the fault just between the two of you. If they listen to the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.you, you have won them over.

- Matthew 18:15- Matthew 18:15



But if they will not listen to you, But if they will not listen to you, take one or two others along, so take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be that “every matter may be established by the testimony of established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.two or three witnesses.




If they still refuse to listen, tell it If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.tax collector.




1.1. After those who were first aware After those who were first aware of the sin have visited them.of the sin have visited them.

• We must train the membersWe must train the members

2.2. Representing the body as the Representing the body as the body represents Christ.body represents Christ.

3.3. In order to restore the person In order to restore the person and the churchand the church

Discipline VisitsDiscipline VisitsWe put a LOCKE on the strayingWe put a LOCKE on the straying

1.1. LLove expressed in concrete ove expressed in concrete examplesexamples

2.2. OObjective observations of sinbjective observations of sin

3.3. CConfession of own strugglesonfession of own struggles

4.4. KKeep covenant/promise eep covenant/promise assistanceassistance



If they still refuse to listen, tell it If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a them as you would a pagan or a tax collectortax collector


If they still refuse to listen, tell it If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; andto the church; and if they refuse if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a them as you would a pagan or a tax collectortax collector





- - MatthewMatthew 18:15 18:15

Discipline VisitsDiscipline VisitsWe put a LOCKE on themWe put a LOCKE on them

1.1. LLove expressed in concrete ove expressed in concrete examplesexamples

2.2. OObjective observations of sinbjective observations of sin

3.3. CConfession of own strugglesonfession of own struggles

4.4. KKeep covenant/promise eep covenant/promise assistanceassistance

5.5. EEvangelize them againvangelize them again

Spiritual Health VisitsSpiritual Health Visits

How is their discipleship?How is their discipleship?

““Disciple” =Disciple” =

Apprenticeship SystemApprenticeship System

ApprenticeApprentice

JourneymanJourneyman

MasterMaster

““Apprentice”Apprentice”

Spiritual Health VisitsSpiritual Health VisitsWhat is the purpose of What is the purpose of Spiritual Health Visits?Spiritual Health Visits?

1.1. Discern where on the path of Discern where on the path of apprenticeship they are.apprenticeship they are.

2.2. Engage them in basic Engage them in basic Christian disciplines: spiritual Christian disciplines: spiritual conversation, Bible reading conversation, Bible reading and prayerand prayer

Spiritual Health VisitsSpiritual Health Visits1. Are they Apprentices1. Are they Apprentices

(Disciples)(Disciples)

Is Jesus Lord of their life?Is Jesus Lord of their life?

1.1. If you were to die tonight and If you were to die tonight and God were to ask you why He God were to ask you why He should let you in, what would should let you in, what would you say?you say?

2.2. What has Christ been doing in What has Christ been doing in your life lately?your life lately?

Spiritual Health VisitsSpiritual Health Visits2. Are they on the way to 2. Are they on the way to becoming Journeymen?becoming Journeymen?

(ministers)(ministers)

Do they have a ministry?Do they have a ministry?

1.1. How are you using the gifts How are you using the gifts God has given you to serve God has given you to serve Him?Him?

2.2. What excites you as a way to What excites you as a way to serve God?serve God?

Spiritual Health VisitsSpiritual Health Visits3. Are they on the way to 3. Are they on the way to

becoming Masters?becoming Masters?(evangelists)(evangelists)

Do they have a mission?Do they have a mission?

1.1. How is God using you to bring How is God using you to bring his healing, love and grace to his healing, love and grace to specific people?specific people?

2.2. Whose life is different because Whose life is different because of your service to God?of your service to God?

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