Effective academic writing

Source:

Calvin &

Hobbes

Warm up exercise guidelines

3

COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING CENTRE

I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015

organise yourselves into groups of 3 or 4

read the text that you have been allocated

as a group decide what type of text you have been given

brainstorm the features of your text

check the textual features around the room and collect

the ones that best describe the features of your text

Warm up article (1)

4 COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING CENTRE

I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015

In a recent article published by The Guardian, writer Jason Wilson denounces Pete Evans’ Paleo diet by saying, “Paleo isn’t

a fad, it’s a cult that selectively denies the modern world.”

While Wilson’s judgement is too harsh, in my opinion, he does make a very good point. Why has modernity suddenly been

seized by an ideology that prides itself on regression?

The philosophical spine of paleo is that humanity’s diet reached optimum nutritional value during the Paleolithic

period. It dictates that we must refrain from eating anything unavailable or evaded by Palaeolitic man, such as grains and

refined sugar.

Let’s ignore the fact that the era in question sprawled across many centuries and cannot be compartmentalized into strict

dietary guidelines.

A sad reality, however, is that obesity has become the suicidal pandemic of our times. Even worse, obesity has boomed in the

last forty years and shows no signs of declaration.

So if ‘fad diets’ do deter obesity are they really that damaging? And is paleo really a fad diet or a sustainable lifestyle?

I spoke with Frank Marino, Professor of Exercise Physiology at CSU and according to him,“What paleo does is remove all

the processed carbohydrates from a diet and replaces them with natural food that includes a higher fat content.”

I guess this means that when you enter Woolies, you should only shop in the fruit and vegetables, meat counter, and dairy

shelves. The rest of the shop will kill you very slowly.

But, Marino adds “as a cure-all, a panacea, it’s (the paleo) is a recipe for disaster.”

Extract adapted from: Jack Cameron Stanton http://grapeshotmq.com.au/2015/06

We’re not birds!

http://grapeshotmq.com.au/2015/06

Warm up article (2)

5

COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING

CENTRE I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP

2015

Evolutionary nutrition is a relatively straightforward concept, based simply on the premise

that the human body has adapted to function best on the diet eaten in the Paleolithic era.

The thrifty gene theory (or thrifty gene hypothesis) is somewhat more complex. It

suggests that feast-or-famine conditions during human evolutionary development

naturally selected for people whose bodies were efficient in their use of food calories

(those who could store excess energy as body fat for later use). Unfortunately, in

contemporary conditions of constant dietary abundance, the so-called “thrifty gene”

predisposes people to diabetes and obesity. This dual investment in human evolutionary

origins and genetic design as the guiding principles of proper nutrition mandates close

attention to Paleolithic or “primitive” diet, which therefore functions as the ultimate

blueprint for contemporary low-carbohydrate regimes (Knight, 2005, 2006, 2008).

Both evolutionary nutrition and the thrifty gene theory are the subject of intense research

and debate outside the context of low-carbohydrate dieting. At their most extreme,

evolutionary nutritionists advocate a strict “Paleo” diet, excluding virtually all post-

agricultural foods. Their maxim is “could I eat this if I were naked with a sharp stick on the

savanna?” (Audette, 1999 p.100). However, evolutionary nutrition also encompasses

less extreme low-carbohydrate regimes. All draw on the evolutionary nutrition model,

often in combination with the thrifty gene theory. Sears (1995) argues that the Paleolithic

diet functions as a kind of “test case” for human health.

Extract adapted from: Christine Knight, 2011, ‘“Most people are simply not designed to eat pasta”:

evolutionary explanations for obesity in the low-carbohydrate diet movement’, Public Understanding of Science, 20(5) 706-719

Text features

6

Campus student newsletter Journal article

short/ underdeveloped paragraphs developed paragraphs

rhetorical questions statements

sentences linked with conjunctions

(and, …)

sentences linked through vocabulary

and linking words

emotive language neutral language

contractions full forms

personal pronouns (I, we, you) impersonal (it, they)

generalisations evidence-based (in-text citations)

Overview of this workshop

7 COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING

CENTRE I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015

Five features of

academic writing

• formal

• structured

• evidence-based

• critical

• discipline-specific

Academic writing is…formal

8

Campus student newsletter Journal article

short/ underdeveloped paragraphs developed paragraphs

rhetorical questions statements

sentences linked with conjunctions

(and, …)

sentences linked through

vocabulary and linking words

emotive, personal language neutral, abstract language

contractions full forms

personal pronouns (I, we, you) impersonal (it, they)

generalisations evidence-based (in-text citations)

9

Formal writing: follows

conventions

Some Conventions Examples

Contractions it’s it is

Abbreviations K’s Kilos

Conjunctions at the start of sentences

And it’s pretty convenient It is also…

Rhetorical questions

So what’s the best way to exercise? Research generally agrees that walking is the best form of exercise.

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For some assignments and some disciplines, your topic is not about personal

experience, so use impersonal it-he-she-they rather than I-you-we.

Formal writing: Doesn’t always

use I-you-we

http://www.cmaconsult.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Regional-

Personality.jpg

https://cdn-

media.threadless.com/submissions_wm/5

78507-

cb4a13659a7fe797437fe621cb971c62.jpg

11

Replace general words and phrases (stuff, thing,

make, get, do) with words that are discipline-

specific/ technical. This shows

• you are thinking about/ learning about the topic

• how much you understand about the concepts

WARNING:

1. Think about who your reader will be. If your assignment is to explain a

concept to a client (who is not an expert) you will need to use everyday

vocabulary that they understand.

2. If you don’t understand a word or a term, DON’T USE IT. Your reader will

know!

Formal writing: uses discipline-

specific/ technical terms

12

Overused words Specific words

interesting relevant, useful tool

very (statistic)

really, just -

bad vague, ineffective

good practical, relevant, useful…

something, thing theory, question…

everybody students, residents, participants…

? evolutionary nutrition model

fat obesity

idea hypothesis, theory

Formal writing: uses discipline-

specific terms

13

People who walk a lot find it

easier to move their joints

easily in different ways.

People who walk a lot have

better flexibility.

Regular walking increases

flexibility.

Formal writing: Often focuses on

abstract ideas

http://www.gmchospital.com/newsletter/081

1/images/walking1.jpg

Formal writing

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So what’s the best way to exercise? Walking is the

#1 activity if you want to get healthy. It’s cheap,

and you don’t have to have any special gear to do

it. And it’s pretty convenient, since people can

make time whenever and where ever it suits them

to. For me, the pluses are that walking helps drop

the K’s and makes it easier to run for a bus.

ACTIVITY

Rewrite the example paragraph using a more formal style

Formal writing

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Walking is the most effective outdoor activity for

reaching recommended physical activity targets. It

is a natural activity, which is inexpensive and

requires no special skills or equipment. It is also

convenient and can be routinely incorporated into

daily lifestyles. Walking increases aerobic

performance, and helps prevent cardiovascular

disease and obesity.

ACTIVITY: SAMPLE ANSWER

Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural and heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425

2. Effective academic writing is…

structured

How would you structure

the following?

• Letter

• Blog

• Essay

• Job application

• Business report

Different

genres have

specific

‘rules’ or

patterns of

writing

Structured

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OVERALL (MACRO) STRUCTURE

Image: Curtin University, n.d.

STRUCTURE OF AN ESSAY

…Structured

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A. In the UK, the distance walked per year by each individual has fallen

from 410 km year in 1975–76 to 323 km year in 2006.

B. These low levels of walking contribute to the overall decrease in

physical activity, in turn leading to a higher incidence of obesity and

diabetes.

C. Jobs themselves have become less physical, people are more likely

to take the lift than walk the stairs, and adults and children are more

likely to travel to work or school by car than to walk or bicycle.

D. One serious concern in the UK is the falling levels of physical

activity.

E. Similarly, the percentage of children aged 5–10 years walking to

school has decreased by 15% from 67% during 1985–1986 to 52% in

2006.

ACTIVITY: PUT THE SENTENCES IN ORDER


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D. One serious concern in the UK is the falling levels of physical

activity. C. Jobs themselves have become less physical, people are

more likely to take the lift than walk the stairs, and adults and

children are more likely to travel to work or school by car than to walk

or bicycle. A. In the UK, the distance walked per year by each

individual has fallen from 410 km year in 1975–76 to 323 km year in

2006. E. Similarly, the percentage of children aged 5–10 years

walking to school has decreased by 15% from 67% during 1985–1986

to 52% in 2006. B. These low levels of walking contribute to the overall

decrease in physical activity, in turn leading to a higher incidence of

obesity and diabetes.

ANSWERS


Paragraph sequencing activity

…structured

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Function Linking word/signpost

To introduce an additional idea And, another, also, too, moreover,

furthermore, as well as, additionally

Opposite idea

Example

Restatement or explanation

Conclusion or summary

Chronological order

Order of importance

Result or effect

Comparison

Concession

LINKING WORDS

…structured

21 OFFICE I FACULTY I DEPARTMENT

Function Linking word/signpost

To introduce an additional idea And, another, also, too, moreover, furthermore,

as well as, additionally

Opposite idea In contrast, contrastingly, nonetheless

nevertheless

Example For example, exemplified, for instance,

highlighted, demonstrated, evidenced by

Restatement or explanation Indeed

Conclusion or summary In conclusion/summary, to conclude

Chronological order First of all, firstly, after that, since then, finally

Order of importance Above all, significantly, more importantly, most

importantly

Result or effect Accordingly, as a result, thus, hence,

therefore, it follows that

Comparison Similarly, likewise, both, also

Concession Despite, in spite of, though/although, however,

whereas

LINKING WORDS- COMPLETE

…structured

22

Read the following paragraph and choose words/ phrases to show how the

ideas in the paragraph link to each other

There are, _________, limitations to this study. ________, the study

population was only representative of the visitors questioned on the

days surveyed. _________ findings should be treated with caution

when applying them to the general population. _________, _________

most participants reported improvement to self-esteem and mood, this

effect was fairly small. The sampling method may ________ have led

to some bias, _________ the study only included those people

choosing to visit the sites and did not include the views of those who

chose not to visit. ________, other factors _______ the weather,

temperature, amount of vegetation, or colours may all affect the

experience.

PARAGRAPH ACTIVITY


…structured

23

Read the following paragraph and choose words/ phrases to show how the

ideas in the paragraph link to each other

There are, __however_, limitations to this study. __First__, the study

population was only representative of the visitors questioned on the

days surveyed. _Therefore, findings should be treated with caution

when applying them to the general population. _Secondly, _although_

most participants reported improvement to self-esteem and mood, this

effect was fairly small. The sampling method may ___also__ have led to

some bias, __because_ the study only included those people choosing

to visit the sites and did not include the views of those who chose not to

visit. _Finally_, other factors _such as_ the weather, temperature,

amount of vegetation, or colours may all affect the experience.

PARAGRAPH ACTIVITY- ANSWERS


Critical: A word that’s everywhere!

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The word critical comes from the Latin root criticus.

It has many meanings and uses at university.

Academic writing is

critical

25

In academic writing, the word critical involves:

CRITICAL

Examining carefully

Evaluating carefully

Judging carefully

The importance of critical thinking in writing (see StudyWISE)

Descriptive Writing Critical Analytical Writing

States what happened Identifies the significance of what happened

States or outlines features,

characteristics, or

components

Evaluates the importance of features and

components (e.g. strengths and

weaknesses)

Explains what a theory

says Shows why the theory is relevant or suitable

Describes the research

methods used

Decides if the research methods used are

appropriate and why

http://ilearn.mq.edu.au/mod/page/view.php?id=2297258

What does critical writing involve?

27

Writing critically requires:

1. Approaching information independently and reflectively.


28


2. Thinking logically, objectively and without bias.


29


3. Interpreting and evaluating authoritative evidence.


30


4. Building coherent and substantiated arguments.


31


5. Humility, perseverance and multiple drafts.

Academic writing is

critical

32

This means answering the question

For example: flickr.com

why is this debate important ?

why is this concept significant /flawed/ debatable?

why is this methodology appropriate?

Why is this reading controversial / valid / relevant ?

why are these findings valuable / contested ?

Critical writing activity

33

Read the extracts in your handout and:

• Underline the evidence provided in each extract.

• Decide whether or not the evidence is convincing.

• You should consider:

o the type of evidence used

o if the evidence is relevant

o if the evidence relies on generalisations

o if the evidence relies on assumptions

o if the evidence is biased.

Thinking & writing critically: a summary

34

Academic writing is

evidence-based

What is not academic in these statements from student essays?

It is obvious that children with learning difficulties should be integrated in regular classrooms. Americans do not travel much, so none of them are very aware of the world outside their country’s borders. The oil crisis was caused by OPEC’s actions.

Academic writing is

cautious

It is obvious that children with learning difficulties should be integrated in regular classrooms. Americans do not travel much, so none of them are very aware of the world outside their country’s borders. Research has proved that the oil crisis was caused by OPEC’s actions.

Instead: Several studies indicate that when children with learning difficulties are integrated into regular classrooms, their learning outcomes tend to be better (Li, 2009; Jones, 2012; Smith, 2012).

Instead: Americans travel outside their borders significantly less than Europeans, according to Camber (2012). This may result in less awareness of other cultures.

Instead: Flabitz, Tang & Palgrave’s study (2005) suggests that OPEC’s actions probably contributed to the oil crisis.

may

might

could

So…we use words that express

uncertainty & caution

modal verbs

sometimes

often

frequently

adverbs of

time

possibly

probably

other

adverbs

tend do

appear to

seem to

introductory

verbs

suggest

indicate

reporting

verbs

some

likely

possible adjectives

Academic writing is

supported by citations

At the end of a sentence

Using a reporting phrase

Using a reporting verb

Instead: Several studies indicate that when children with learning difficulties are integrated into regular classrooms, their learning outcomes tend to be better (Li, 2009; Jones, 2012; Smith, 2012).

Instead: Americans travel outside their borders significantly less than Europeans, according to Camber (2012). This may result in less awareness of other cultures.

Instead: Flabitz, Tang & Palgrave’s study (2005) suggests that OPEC’s actions probably contributed to the oil.

When you use the ideas of others…

Use a direct quote (enclose the writer’s words in quotation marks)

Which technique do you

think is most common?

Example paraphrase

Original text

Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.

Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in medical services is well supported by research. Summary The necessary research into health needs to guide a rational process of prioritisation is lacking (Redman, 2015).

Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from

https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547






















What stayed the same?

Original text


Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
























Original text

Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research..

What stayed the same?

Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide rational decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.

health



data health services

research

health

health services

data

research






















What vocabulary changed?

Original text



























Original text





priorities

prioritise

improved

objectively

reduce

subjective























Original text

Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions

. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their

through research.

Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that,

, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce

in health services is well supported by research.



priorities

prioritise

improved

objectively

reduce

subjective






















What about sentence structure?

Two sentences


One sentence, three clauses Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
























Summarising – another technique

Original text


Summary The research into health needs required to guide a rational process of prioritisation is lacking (Redman, 2015).
























You try now!

Original text:

College students with later class start times slept longer, experienced less daytime sleepiness, and were less likely to miss class. The benefits of taking later classes did not extend to academic performance, however; grades were somewhat lower in students with predominantly late class schedules. Onyper, P., Thacher, P.V., Gilbert, J.W. & Gradess, S.G.. (2012). ‘Class start times, sleep and academic performance in college: A path analysis. Chronobiology International, 29(3), pp 227-251.

Log in to Socrative and post a paraphrase. www.socrative.com Room number: SLIFETT9 Your answers will show on screen but they are anonymous.

http://www.socrative.com

You try now!

Original text:

College students with later class start times slept longer, experienced less daytime sleepiness, and were less likely to miss class. The benefits of taking later classes did not extend to academic performance, however; grades were somewhat lower in students with predominantly late class schedules. Onyper, P., Thacher, P.V., Gilbert, J.W. & Gradess, S.G.. (2012). ‘Class start times, sleep and academic performance in college: A path analysis. Chronobiology International, 29(3), pp 227-251.

Possible paraphrase: Onyper et al. (2012) found that when students enrolled in classes that started later, they had lengthier periods of sleep, fewer absences and less drowsiness during the day. Nevertheless, their academic results were not as good.

Possible summary: Students enrolling in later classes show increased attendance and alertness but decreased grades.

A few tips for paraphrasing

Sources http://owll.massey.ac.nz/referencing/paraphrasing-techniques.php http://learningcommons.sfu.ca/sites/default/files/179/techniquesforparaphrasing.pdf

• Change a word from one part of speech to another (for example, from noun phrase to verb phrase)

• Use synonyms (e.g. strong – powerful) for everyday words

• Do not change the key words/terminology

• Change the word order, sentence structure and order of sentences

• Use different connecting words than in the original text

• Make sure you include in-text citation of sources

http://owll.massey.ac.nz/referencing/paraphrasing-techniques.php




Academic Integrity Module

for Students

• Acceptable and unacceptable academic practices

• How to properly acknowledge sources and avoid plagiarism

Online resource

http://www.students.mq.edu.au/support/learning_skills/academic_integrity_module_for_students/




Academic writing is

discipline-specific

• Different types of texts are used in different disciplines (e.g. business report in finance, economics and accounting, case studies, laboratory reports in science, essays in arts and other disciplines).

• Go to StudyWISE for help with different texts.

• Read texts in your area.

http://www.students.mq.edu.au/support/learning_skills/studywise/

Effective academic writing - Macquarie University

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