Ed Batista, The Art of Self-Coaching @StanfordBiz, Class 3: ATTENTION
Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 4: FEELINGS & FEEDBACK
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Transcript of Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 4: FEELINGS & FEEDBACK
Interpersonal
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DynamicsEd BatistaClass 4:FEELINGS &FEEDBACK
First 2 hours here • Pairs & half-groups • Discussion & an exerciseLast hour in T-group
Agenda
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With your partnerVocabulary of Emotions
What emotions do I have difficulty feeling?What emotions do I have difficulty expressing?
With your partnerWhat social identities influence my
experience and comfort level with emotions?
DebriefWhat did you learn?What conclusions are you drawing?
EmotionWhat role do emotions serve interpersonally?Bradford & Huckabay Convey crucial information & signify importance Allow us to be known Early warning system
EmotionHow do emotions serve us as a species?Antonio Damasio, USC
EmotionEmotions evolved to support survivalUncontrolled emotion can lead us astray
Emotion
EmotionEmotion is integral to reasoningEssential for efficient decision-making
EmotionVictor Johnston, New Mexico State“Discriminant hedonic amplifiers”Boost signals in our mental landscapeThis is why…
Emotions areattention magnets
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EmotionJoseph LeDoux, NYU“A quick and dirty signal”Neural pathways 2xBut speed has a price…
EmotionRapid triggeringReflexive responsesSensing ≠ Comprehension
Can I give you some feedback?
Can I give you
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some feedback?
Why is feedback
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so stressful?
Feedback and
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social threat
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Threat responseFight, flight or freeze
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Threat responsePhysiological
Adrenaline & cortisolOptimized for strength & speed
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Threat responseEmotional
Fear & angerPrimed for snap judgments
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Threat responseCognitive
Negativity biasImpairment & diminished capacity
Social threat
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Some social situations ≈ Physical threatsSame response
PhysiologicalEmotionalCognitive
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SCARF modelDavid Rock, NeuroLeadership InstituteWhat social situations trigger a threat response?
SCARF modelStatus
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SCARF modelStatusCertainty
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SCARF modelStatusCertaintyAutonomy
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SCARF modelStatusCertaintyAutonomyRelatedness
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SCARF modelStatusCertaintyAutonomyRelatednessFairness
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With your partnerWhen do I experience social threat &
why?What factors are most triggering for me?
StatusCertaintyAutonomyRelatednessFairness
SCARF model
StatusCertaintyAutonomyRelatednessFairness
With your partnerHow might status & relatedness affect me
here?
DebriefWhat did you learn?What conclusions are you drawing?
Reframe the experienceOffering feedback ≠ Higher statusEmphasize choice & agencyBuild the relationship*Remember the Net
When gettingfeedback
When givingAvoid a threat responseBe mindful of perceived statusMore certainty & autonomyBuild the relationship*Remember the Net
feedback
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Get a new T-grouppartner
RelationshipsJohn GottmanWhat characterizes successful relationships?
RelationshipsFeeling known by the otherA culture of appreciationResponding to bidsMutual influenceA soft start*
A soft start
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Not like this
A soft start
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Like this
Begin with authentic positive intentEmphasize mutual goals
A soft start
3 triggers
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Stone & Heen, Harvard Program on NegotiationWhat blocks feedback?What triggers defensiveness?
3 triggers
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TruthRelationshipIdentity
With your partner
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TruthRelationshipIdentity
How do these triggers affect me?What do they feel like personally?
Form half-groups
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Have yourStone, Patton & HeenHow can we manage feelings more effectively?(Manage ≠ Suppress)
feelings…
In your half-What does it mean…
…to negotiate with my feelings?…to express my feelings fully &
carefully?
groups
Next stepsT-group until 5:50pm & again tonight(See you tonight, Group 3!)Week 4 Post-Group Assignment due Thurs @ NoonWeek 5 Readings & Class Notes on CanvasWeek 5 Pre-Class Assignment due Mon @ NoonNext class Feb 7, 3pm here
Non-verbal
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disclosure
Non-verbal
5: Feelings About Each Other
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disclosure
Off to T-group
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