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8/3/2019 Ebook4everything.com Page1 50

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Prologue

~4nd J hope nDt ,lust yo u but our who l e country 'will ke ep th at sp ar ka live .'nlt~reis som~ th ir tg(v()l.ab()u t - Iorne frtflntite land (~ f a l1ill ionsparks. T hank ) 1 0 1 . 1 , / I said}\ '~?nAnasL

c lap : ; an ti t,ve r em y to leave, Securi tyvolur . l teers f onneda h um an barr icade a n d so o n I r n t t f 1 . ( l :aed a ne at e xi t i r om the halL

~ ~" I hankyou sO Jn tu :h ,$ tr : some o ne said rightbeh#tdme,I tu rned aro und to my h ost l \ !f jshra~' I said , (IVW15 . lookingj( lr

m v motivationaispeedi at TUak Hall,

,you.'P ieasecallme G opal;' h e sa id , ' 7 11ecarI walked.ouiwiti: the youngM isnra. H is black Nle r t edes l vh i sked us

Road ,

o ve r th ere ."

'S o yOUStth' th e templeshas ,anyway . '

'Y e ah , I w en t to th e 1 lis hw ar ta th Tel 'nple : f ind Da.sh( l shwarnedh Ghat atgh ats? ' G o p al aske d,


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'Y o u r jUgh tis o nly tonwrroH' rno tn ing/ G o pa ! sa id . ' 1 1 1 h . y ' do n't yo uc ome h fT t1UJ fb r d inne r? '

'Dorlt ireJnrnal ~ .,' i 'Degal thav to co me home .

lvh iskvwo r ld ,' h e sitid."1 smiled as I s h o o k nil/head. I '"( t . . ~ ~ '{ " " . , _ ~ ,A . 1-'~,-$'l:' -,~,.~;,.: )


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a i r e c t o r : s tJ tmgalotv j butytrU do n 't h ave a daHghter,~J sa id . 'l~mIn ar r ed, 'lh e } 'Oungcsi dire cto r T ve e ve r se en:~' . ::1smuea .ol ilarevou.?' 1Vi/ascurious." '~11w en ty "sf '( , ; Gopa . i said) a in hi s vt){ce,]\fot iust th e

yo unge st, bu t a lso th e m ost une duca te d d ir e cto r youve met : 'Uneducatedt' F neve r went to "'V'">;:::X:~"': j: 'V h a tt 1 s ai d a s J tw ir le d ic e -cube s in rnyglas$ and w o nde r e d hen" ,

potcr1tthis dr ink H/15 ,' i~Vell,I d id do a jo ke aco r r e sp o nde nce fl'e gr e e :' lA/ 'ow" I said, 'it isn't ti l jo ke to .o p en such a big (ol lege_'' S ix teen hundred s tudents CheUi. ! l -} i ,aao5s a il b atc he s. Ba ch

paying o ne lakh t l year : iVe alr eady have a s i x t een-c ro r e turno ve r: A nd J 'OUi na u gu r ate d th e t\: fl3 A coaching to da y. 'th ats a no th e r tle.1V business, 'r took a sip , 1 1 1 e smoot i : whisky burnt rny t h roat


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~ 'whea t is h comp l ex ion , t t.!Ode s tf iv e -j ~>e t -- se v en -i nch he i gh t , s id e -pa r te dhair -HlaS r e t l s s u r i n g l y normal.

plcourse,. O ne sh o u ld enjo y ... ' [ said as h e cut me,'N ext ye ar 1will l11C1ke five c ro re s'I re alise d h e lvould k eep forecast ing h is salary untt! 1demonstrated

suitabl'F iv e c ro r e si ' I s aid , my v oic e lo ud cmdfaKt\G o p a l g rit1 T te cL 'Baby,eatthis' .lor 1ave made i t > ' is p ro ba bly th e T-shirt

slo e-an h e w ould dUh:JSC.. ."Ih ais incr e dib le ,' l m urm ure d, w onde ringh ow Ico uld sw itch th e.to p :

I noticed winding up.


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'Did yo u ie allygo to th e p ro fe sso r's HJ..-.unIstn Ue d.'L ov er na ke s us do sfupid things:G O l 'i l l t iughedha l f e rnp t y bot t le'l o ve ?Po rg e t s tu p id th ings ,'lfu1ts harsh, ' IGopal 's f lUna tre rnbled as he

h o u se ? ' G o . p al.a sk e d,

, (Jo pa l sa id .hits Dire cto r ve t? '.,

r sh ould sto p him frorndrinldngrnore,Dire c to r !" G o p al gr ip p ed th e v;h isky bottle tight

'Easy, GopaJ , Y()1J to o fast, dangerO l{s.,'G opalp lo r tked th e bott le on a ~ t T e e t ( ~ b 1 c > ' l17fty dangerous? } ' V ' ' h o isgo ing to fucking cryfo r l ive ,I' vant ~f die .w no care s? ''l '{)tw p . a r e n t s r 'G o pal sh oo k h is h ead .'Pr ien - - r d "1 _ 9 " " ' . ,,~'J0'-}\Suc(;es~ful peop le have f r i e n d s > " G opalave tred, 'Its t r u e ; no i '

lav ish h o use fe lt co ld and isolated. J to o k th e lvhisk)! lJ o ttle a ndp laced it b ac k ir Jth e har .


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6 CRETAN BHAGATp ic ture s o fG o pallvilh guc$ tsw ho h ad visite d th e co lle ge .1wonde red ~fmyp ic tu re w o uld a lso f J I : ? th e re so o n.

yrrh en h e h adn 't re turne d in t lv e n ty m i n ute s ] calle dfo r th e m aid . Sh eto o k me to th e b ath ro o m. 1kno cked a t th e do or , N o answer : J bang.e d mv.' 0" ~o n . the d am : N o th in g.'L o ok s/ike w e w illh aJ ! to b r ea k th e door / the maia sa id .I w o nde red h o w I . w h o . had c o r n ea s (f t: h ie / g ue st fo ra co llege

o r i en ta t i on . p ro gr amme , be cam e invo lv ed with forcing open - random toi letsVaranas i .

rustle a fsh e e ts o n th e h o sp ita l bed woke me frmn. my n a p . 1 1 1 e beds ide.jo ck sh ow ed 3:00a. m. I h ad bro ugh t a p asse d-o ut G opa l to th e Her i tageH o sp ital, in th e L an ka area q f Va r ana si .

G op al sat up o n th e bed n01 t~nuzssaging h is t emples .H is h ango ve r r em inded me o f m y co tle ge days. [{dwever . he r e th e

d ir ec to r h ad h inged o n a . l coho tno l as t ud en t't{}U w er e h er e. a l/n igh t? ' H e lo oke d surpr i sed .'I c o uld no t le t mv h o st d ie o n me ,' I sa id .. . . -", .


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un'>"H


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'~ V h e re d o l'start? ' Gopa! sa id .'Le t s tJcgitl w ith A ar ti . T he girllVho d id t h i s to } " i O U . '"Aa.rti? She go t me into tro uble thef i rs: clay lilt;; me t; G o pal said .1 d ip pe d a b i scH . it in 1 ' 1 1 ) ' t eaand l is t ened .


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{Lazy parents, bread-butter "".."'Uk,' I grumbled, shutting a blue plastictif lin th e second row , R agh av I moved tothenext desk,

Gopal cra ss a ny time, Raghav said,brought

others'._.\,....."'~~Ibattled a,$111 all, H_n;,UuNeither of us had th e sharp

the stubborn box, V , / etiffin raid . 'V e ha d ten more

After that class 5 Ctiffins back within thatp ickle a nd para thas , Raghav

doesone open thisfrequired to open the 'thin steel lid ofmornineassemblv for our weeklv~ .IItill the national anthem began

' y V C had to find, eat and keephaving opened the lid. 'You

'Forget it: 1 as I returned the steel box to the students bag" 1 \ 1 1 : ) 'darted from one bag to another, mie: I said) poinhngto a pink

imported rucksack in the n)VI; bag looks expensive, She mustbe getting good food,

rush ed to tbe.targets seat. Igt~tbhe(ttbe.Barbiehagrlnlzlpped theand found a rectangular lif ii rL The cover had a spoon

compartment, ~Fancybox!' I said, clickingthe lid open.Idlts, a little a piece of chocolate cake.Wed

hlt'the jackpot'1only V I I T a n t the I as I lifted the huge slice.'Don't takethe whole thing. Raghav said.'I f Ia t only a bit, sh ewill get to kno\v ; I scowled.


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HHAG;\.:rit in to tw o. T ake one.Iea ve th e oth er: R agh av sa id ,'Nith what? '

'Use a he suggested,I ra n to my desk, I brought ha ck a ruler and made a dean cut. 'Fine?'I

cake;l RaJrhav shrugged,t : > ._ ~ ,_ _ ",I'But you a re myI..,"-6.',..",,,4 0; bite.my fingers

not breakfa s t a t horne. J' ' V V h y d.nn't yeage r your own tif finI spoke with Tny Hl0Uth sHlf'li'd.lunch and dinner anyway:

with icing.R azh av sa id,

!... ex tra \vork for Saba.H.e

"I him I dt)n't fed hungry: taught in a governmentschool, He lett homeatstx.even earlier than me, Iickedrhe chocolate

off my-fingers. V 'ie could a nth em ,'I can bring tiffin for you~ . .Raghav sa id a nd. Blade me stand up along

with him for the anthem."Forget it, your m om cooks boring stuf f Puri everyda y ; T sa id ,,\Veheard students cbatrer on their v;lay back to class, 1 stuffed the

rem a ining ca ke intor:ny m outh ,'HurrYl hurry; ' RaghavI sh ut th e red tiffin b ox an d p la ced itback in th e Barbie b~lg.~vVhoi ts he re anyv ;14 ) ,rRaghava sked .1 f l l111bledthroughthepink.nJcksack a nd foun d a b rown ... a p e r -c ov ered

no teb ook I rea do ut the labe l on thecover , j\.ardPratappradhan.~ Subject;Ag e 1 0.,R oB n um b er 1,Sun bea m Sc hool:"VVhatevGf ' , A te we done? ' Ragh .av said,

th e ba g back on Aart is chair , orlgirtalplace,go: Ia id , '\V e ra n OHr back-row sea ts, sa t a nd p ut our h ea ds

pretended tobe s ic k, th e reasonledoscd ourfor skipping t heniOf111ngassembly .

entered th e room , .a"."u!"e c la s s \v ith th e s imu lta n eous


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REVOLUTION 2020 11Sim ra n G .U lm ada m, our arrived a m inute later and th edieddown. on the board, even as the

c hild ren w ere still settlil)g d ow n.r trpstraight andcraned neck to see Aatti Pratap Pradhan,roll number nDL She wore a skirt, white shirt, red cardigan andhad ribbons in her plaits, and she faced the teacher most seriously as she

down.Aarti screamed jumped up, Shepicked upa chocolate-fromher The backofber skirt had chocolate stains, 'Ohtained

r-ll' ~.. .". 1.,'1"1' - .JOo., Aartrs snnu made entire class take notice.madam screamed a voice enough toG ill m a dam didn't like neiseveven if it carne

from girls withcute plaits.Reghav and Iexcnansec giance,\Vehad left behind'Madam, someone has put a dirty

dress isspoiledj Aarti wailed.'Ihe whole class laughed and Aarti broke into tears,' \IVI1at?' the teacher saki" placed the C h ' 1 1 k down, dusted her

hands and took the from

on rn y seat T v l y new school

teacher walked along the aisles,them. '\,Vho brought chocolate

cake today!' she launched into an investigation."I did,' A a rti sa id . She opened tiffin and reahsedhow her ownhad been used to dress. Her howls reached new decibel'Someoneate my cake: 3-0 loud, the adjacent class 5 B

could hear u s .H a ~fyo ur c ak e, lwantedR a gh a v sta red at THe.


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12 ~CrU.rrAN HHAGATThe tea ch er wa lked back to th e front of th e cla ss. Sh e took out a tissueh er purse a nd w ip ed th e ruler dean ..~t\dTnit it, e ls e th e punishment

b e worse )' SIlt warned,I p retendednot to h ea r a nd op ened my ma th s n ote bo ok~\Vho is G~,,'H' th e teacher asked, had read rnv initials. I had

scra ped th em w ith a cornp ass onmy ru ler. D amn!\"Ie h ad tw o G l 'vjs in the cla ss. O ne, G irish M ath ur, sa t in thefirst row.stood up without provocat ion.'Ididn't-do it; maam.hc said pinched h is . .n ec k, 'G o d promise,

The te a che r. squin ted a t h im ,


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onecity gets its name from

city" andQf B ana ra s -"

C ity of T em ples, for we h a veLearning, a s Va ra n as i_'-" home , I

c otton b alls .in y our

live hen: in 1200 He11leAs-I ,which pass through

nv{ city severa lnam es '" Kashi,they come from. Some call it

them, and some theplaces study. Ilrl1nlv can.1 .t -~

, 'h - _ " - . & " . ' " 1 .aiong t .e nver \Jang;;L" ' 1 " ; " C " " " " . l hrJ '", :" ~.,11" !T1~.,,:.eep, J.U ".


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ubey uncle, OUt lawyer, pushed a small box of four [addoostowards us..

' ,sweets? \'''lhatforrmvfather said,. 'Dubey uncle had come horne, Saba and I faced him across our

ancient dining table.'You've got a hearing da te ; Dubey uncle "This itself took so long.

1thcnght .weshouldcelebrare 'I wondered if I could give some laddoos to drama queen Aarti as

compensation f()rthe cake. 1 wanted to buy a chocolate cake and siamon her desk. However, I didn't h av e money for that M y fatherdidn'tme any pocket money; and he didn'tpocket much money in his

(J'V{D

m oth ersillnessh ad w ip ed out a ll h is sa vings. Sh e died tw o w eeksafter I turned four, I don't remember much her or her death. Baba didsay he had to.wearherdupatta and s leep next to mefora month. After hexdeath th e land 4ispute started> Dubeyuncle had become a f requent v is ito rto our house for this reason,

b rough t sw eets only beca use w e h ave a hearing?' Babacoughed,case had not given his land but it. didworsen his

resmratorv ailment.& - - -~" \fell, G h ansh va m 'w ants to settle the ou t of court; Dubey uncleGhanshyamtaya-j], my father's respected elder brother, had screwed

us . 1 \ 4 y g tam lf fHhe r h ad le fth is two S(H1S thirty acres of agricultnralland 011Lucknow Higl1\vay, to bedividedequally, Soon after my grandfather's

death , Gh an s h y amunde took a loa n from b ank and mortg aged Baba s


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r:W""'.t..e '. f ' " ' .' ' ' ,,t.\'.1r . -:~"\'r~the bank < },ffic e r.

wrong

'But there 's aloan'I "nn~r, . , , ~ " , 1 .'".".,,h,,H1 JV"',bsubmitted your

17"1 .1 r orooertvoaeersr'~_ _ ~ . j} _"XI?- " -.j' : t , ' .


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],6 CBETAN BIrAGAl''I a te Y O ur cake. I 'm so rry ; I said, my word taint.

> ~ j'1 don 'tlike la ddoos, sh e announced.' \Vhy? Y 0 1 ; 1 f ira ng or w ha tf J said.'No ! la d doos m ake you fa t. I dQn)t w ant to be fa t: sh e sa id,'C b oc ola te ca ke d oe sn 't make you fa t? ''I don 't w ant it: sh e sa id. Sh e gctltly p ush ed th e box towards m e,'Fine: 1said and took th e box .'Did. you say sorry?' Aarti said.

1 did,' I noticed h er loop ylo ok ed lik e a c a rto on .c h a ra c te r,

'ApqIogy a cc ep ted , sh e said..up with redribbons, Sh e

'T ha nk you: Ia id . 'Su re you don't the Iaddoos! ''N o, fa t girls c an 't becom e a ir hostesses)' sh e sa id.'Y ou want to be an airhostess?' I sa id,'n.n. -, 'I'vny~"They fly everyw here. I w a nt to see dif ferent p la ces:'Okay. ''vV ha tdo you want to bet Aarti said,I sh rugged m y sh oukiers.'A rich DIan; 1She nodded, as if 1 ' 1 1 1 ' choicewas reascnable.rere you poor right

now?'lsaid,

She said,'} am rich, vVe have a car:'\ly e d on 't h av e a ca r. Oka y, bye: 1 tu rned lea vew hen A a rtisp oke

aga:i lL'\\Thy d oesn 't y ou r m oth ergive you a'I don't b ave a mother : .lsaid.'Dead rsh e a sk ed .


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'\I\rnatY Iasked'Y o u c an eat my t iffin take a Iottheugh, And don't

Lsaid.don't make a mess. want, .\ve can eat together during

[ said.


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said,of Doating on the

fivev V eon

come bored at home,' she

" Too m a nyi1C.111 handle

last time?'",." ''I:}.'" 'C'.~'" ' 1 " . : 1 c: o f.\..;:,t..~._~. :...rl.l :f.B. ' > . : . . . . L ; i ,:t.

1looked at her no idea wh a t you do to them,'what r actually wantedcomments from the

W'llel1 she turnedStatements such as 'the


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Her entry into the Sigra Stadium ground would definitelydisrupt game , Batsmen wou l d miss th e ball, fielders would miss"'


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teacher held up a n .answer-sheet.]Zagha'l,.Aart! a nd 1 joined coaching classes Durgakund toprepare the engineering JSR?named after its threef ou nd ers - I vf r jh a ) J vir Sin gh Mr Ra i w c on du cted f req..u en t m o ck - tests. 't ; . , . . r .for AlEEE (A l l I n di a Engin eerin g E n tra n Cf; Exam ) a nd th e lEE (I nd ianInstitute of Technology joint Exarn), The AlEEE attracted tenlakh students annually.for seats in the l


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f ath er h a d a re la tiv ely h on est re pu ta tio n, H owev er, f re e tu itio nsca me under th e am bit of a ccep ta b le

'I n otev en filled th cA IEEE form , A a rti whispered to m e.

'-p.._.,J., ra nk is going to be horrible: I sa id to R agh a v a s I stirred Illy\Ve h ad come to th e G erm an Bakerv near Na r a d Ghat, .3 . touristv. . .' l

fira ng joint w here white p < :op le f eltsa fefrom germ s a nd th e.to uts roamingaround Varanasi, People sat on bed s w ith wooden traysto eat firang food

sandwiches andpancakes ,nVOn.la ln r )uI " t shed , old menplayed thein corner to give th e V a ra na si ef fect, a s w hite p eop le found it a

cultu ra l e xp e rie nc e.I never thought r r r o . c h of the p l a c e . .However, Aar t i liked it'I like h ow sh e h a s used a sca rf to tie h er ha i r ; A a rti sa id , p oin ting a t a

tourist Sh e h ad ob viously ignored AlBEE concerns .more marks a nd vou wH l;'O ne Ia kh students sta nd between m e a nd . th ose ten m arks, ' I sa id .

f ine. R ela x: R agh a v sa id.

'D on 't th ink about th e others, F o cu s o n y ou rself ; he said.Inodded slowly. Ea sy to give advice whenyou a re th e top p er. 1in a sea ; a long with Ia kh s o f oth erlow-ra nkers, k ic kin g

screa m in g to b rea th e. 'T h ew a ters closed o ve r u s, m.aking us i rr el ev an tthe educa tion system . 'Ih ree w eeks the ArEEE t sunami

arrive.sna pp ed h er f ingers in front

will h e f ine, sh e sa id.'Y o u a re skipping it?' Raghav turned'Y e a h , s he . g ig gle tl '1vfainHoon is relea sing.th at w eek , H ow (a u Ia Sh a ll Rukh film? 'T hey s ho uld p o stp o ne Al:EEE:

' V v Y a k e u p , dreamer, y o u

aren't becoming an. engineer , vvha t ' v r H l y()U do i n life?'Raghav askedAarti

to. do something? 1 am an Indianwoman. Can't 1geth orne a nd cook? Or serva nts t o . (;nok?~


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R.EVOLUTION 1010 .. 25She l . a l lghcdandRaghavjoined~ her ,Ididn ' t f indthis funnv, I not"""-;1 beyond the teeming millions

down in threeweeks,annabe engineers who wouldwrestle'Whyso s erio us , G o p a I" ,li?

Aarti t a p ped my shoulder ,'Shut up, Aarti; 1 'Yeah, I know you want to be anair hostess:

hostess? ' tvowr Raghav

, "" ..h 'now .i can:t SIt at k orne.

are telling the worldI ,'~)L,01 11: ) /me >h.~ lguav

a nd Thad ' ; ; 1one.

will make" < v hateve r ;'

are no airlines

R agh av a s a friend ,

o n

said, his, tone flirtatious,let m e lea ve Varanasi,

I can be a temple hostess,begirt soon, Prasad will be

you r s ea ts :'Raghav Iauzhed agaIn, boldin}~his muscular abdomen, I hate people~ - >"'


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26 ~ CHETAN BH.AGAT'I have to go. Saba is waiting,' I said ..

The SOUTld ofBabes coughing drowned out the sound of the doorbell thefirst of t imes .

Icouldn't hear; he said, opening the doot';'Y o u ok ay ?' J asked.

tilt' usua l. I 'v e m a de dal a nd roti.the usual too.'

father had turned six ty la st non-stop cough in g b outsmade hirn Iooklike an dgh ty-yea t-nkL doctors h a d given up ,\/lle hadno money f or s urg ery e ith er, school h a d fired h im long ago. You c a n'tconduct a fifty-minute class with ten breaks. He had a pension

us three weeks in a good month,Iate in silence at the wobbly dining table.'Entrance exam i.,'m y fa th er started and paused to cough f iv e tim es.

L undersa ood h is drif t.'1 have f in ish ed th e A lB EE preparation; I said.'fEE?' Baba said. I t is harder to manage family expectations thanp rep a r e :f or x ams ,"Don't have lIT hopes for me, Baba: I said. My father's face fell. 'I

will the JEE. But, three thousand out of four lakhs .. , Imagine the'Y (YLl can dolt You are bright:' Baba said, paternal love obviously

overestitnanng prpgeny'sahllities,I nodded. I had a shot at AIEEE, none at lEE. 'Ihat was h ow I looked

at I wondered if Saba realised th..tt a rank would mean me leavinghome, \f\'hat inhad to go to NIT Agartalar Or somewhere far south?

is not everything, Saba; 1 said.'It secures your life. Don't fight now, right before th e ex am s:Trn not f igh ting . I'm not,'Poss-dinner, Baba lay down on bed. I sat next.to him a nd pressed

h is forehead. H e.erup ted Into a cough ing fitsh ouldconsider th esura erv ' I sa id .

; - . . (1 '


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REVOLUTION 2020 '4' 27hack and shutting his eyes. 1esumed

th O .e massase;.- - -~ -j;"~'


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BTfAGATI kept silent'Chi l l now, (: topaL Ho\>v\re th in gs a t h orn e!''Screw ed up a s a lw ays. H ow a re-y ou? ''I 'm tine. D ad insists I finish c ollegeb ef ore I tr y a ny of th is a ir h ostess

But YOll ca n even becom e one stm igh t a fter cla ss X U.'to college> He 's.righ t; I sa id .

'Which college ca n Ioin withm v m arks? 1 am not sm a rt like R agh av> , - _ L- _ < - ' ~ .

said.

you;'' R aghav is smart , not m e,' I corrected' '\!\IllY? B ec ause of themock-test? a re so stup id : Aart i said.

arc stupid:" Vve are both .stup id, f ine? D id have dinner?'She had asked me this question night for the las t five years. I

wanted to s t avmada t her, butcould 1 1oL '1 th a nks.''Vvha t th a .nks? Stupid. G o to bed now, sleep and don't think about the

entrance-exams.) I sa id a nd p aused ,


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Raghav hild come tomya la s t" m i nu te trig onome trytextbook

, 1 , : , ' ' ' 1 ' . 1 . . . okav?'i.,.,''lj....t ' : I - - , . 1 \ - < . . ? - . ~sh arp ened p encils: b e

carne out

Rp/OUJTWN 2.(}20 29on theeveof the exam, Hehad offered

1 1 1 ' ) 7 \veak spot. Ragha v picked up thet, . ... .. A ... f t, I,.., 1 '1 " (.,!'7!";1 must, ~"1n(Ja.KC .0.5 o :

the kitchend in ner; :a a ba to ld

to da y, B a ba , Rao.ha\/' . . . bgets a

'Stay'I take a proper treat once Go p a l


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Iid get arank, A fucked-uprank, that'5 2 ,043 ;t rea d outf rom th e sc reen , I h a d com e to R agh a vs h ouse in

Shivpur . vVe h ad-logged on to th e } \IEE E w eb site.Sure). I hadn't scored too bad ly , Out of ten lakh test-takers, I h a d.. .j "'. '.

nine lakh fifty thousand. However, NITs h a d only th irtyth ousa nd sea ts , St)metimes, life p la yed c ruel jokes on you, I 'd be one ofth o se u nf ortu na te ca ses.w ho h a d d on e w ell, h ut not w ell enough .

'5 ~8 20 ; R agh av sa id , rea ding from th e c om p uter m onitor.R agh av 's fa th er h ad com e fn to the r00111 to sta nd behind us.' \Alh.afs th at? ' I sa id .'My fa ult: R agh av sa id .'E xc ellen tl' R a gh a v's f ath er sa id d eligh ted ly .Ragnav smiled. Hecould not react more than that., t o : . . -'This should give you lots ofchoices; Ragh av s proud f a the r said. ' You

call get Eledrbnics in Delhi:'T here 's N IT L ucknow too, righ t? ' R agh av said. 'C l os er h ome;''Forget AIEEE,let us wait i f ) ! ' J I m : Raghavs father said) his voice

elated.Father and son took a while to remember Jlly presence in the

worn. They saw tlly crestfallen face a nd fell silent. 'I have to go horne; 1lhumbled.

'Fifty thousand sh ould get you something , not R a gh a v's f ath er sa id ,f u H y awa re it would not H e didn't m e a n hurt 1 ' n 1 2 ,hut itfeltbad. Never

my life h a d I felt so sma l l . I felt like a beggar nangin,g out ,\lith kings.see yon later, Raghav, I said scurried out of their house. I

want anynneto see m y tears,


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REVOLUTION 2020 * 31R agba v ca rne running af ter

okayr he-asked,I swsJlo\vecl h a rd a nd wiped my e ye s b ef ore tu rn in g to h im, 'I 'm fin e,buddy; J l ied , ~ ' \.ndcongra t s I OWt; a B u t your dad ri.ght. ' v V e

will th e-rea l p a rty a f terI continued to ramble untilRaghav interrupted me. ' v \ T i l l Baba be

the lane outside his house. 'You

~'''..esked; "a . ; \ o . . . ( h/~ >" . .. .. .. .. , ~I shrugged my shoulders'Should J come

right; ta.keaIth()ught'Don ' t UHV"t'H

fough t th e lum p in :m y throat.parent when you've.flu.rtkc:,:i,

th e A lB EE results due today?a s soon a s In te re d th e h ou s .floor.

are not in th e p ap ers;' B aba sa idnewspapers la y open on the

th ey d on 't p u blish re su ltsis this mess?~lsaid,

1 bent dow n to collec t not mention that th e results\ I , l e n ; a v a ila b le o nlin e,

how do find out the Isn't . today the d(lte! ' h e sa id .I kept quiet as I stacked the ne\vspapent I wanted to te n him the

re su lts-w o n't b e o ut for a few more days would be nice,even temporary: 1 s4'ivwrinkles around bjg ey es. E yestha t extra bright t oday ,

'Sheuld go NIT Baba said, happy to make the f ive-journey to f ind out son w a s a lo ser.'R a ba l' I p ro te sted .' ' \ / > / h & t 1 ''Let 's make lunch : 1 m oved kitchen, T he a ntique ga s stove took

SlX to start Iplaced . , ; 1 of a burner to boil dal,father stood behind '\Ve have to get the results. Let's go: h e

s a id . v ~rh e n o ld people get stuck on som eth ing, th eydon 't let go,


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'L et m e m ake th e 1 1 1c ; :d : [ sa id . 'Tw ill c a ll you when it i s r ea dy :'Telling you r parents you've fa:il~1d at something is harder than the

actual failure, I cooked lunch for the I wondered if life wouldbe the same again, One stupid exam, half a dozen mistakes in

lnultiple~ choice p rob lem s h a d ch a nged m y life forever,father and I ate in s .il ence, h is hopeful eyes pinned on me. My

hiding news did not help. anyone.. .jI went tp hunafter dinner." ! k now th e results, Baba : I sa id softly,~!\lld?>he sa id ,c yc s w id e,'~~VJya nk is 5 2J} 43 :

. .

"~ I h d ; . 'tnat goo;I shook DJV head,'Y o u won 't get agood branch? ''Iwon't (1t:t into NIT : Isaid,~My father's expression changed. He had the look every child dreads.look th at sa ys, 'lbr ough t yo u up , NOH! se e w ha t yo u h ove done ! 'A bund in the h ea d is preferable to that look.Babagot up agitatedly and started to circle diningtable.'Ho\v cannota good rank?'yiArdl,J did

eve l ) ' one do e s , Balh?a ir tn y thought .

lakh

'N ow wh a t? ' h e said.I \V(Hl(1en.:tdifI should suggest some options" suicide, penancein the

Himalavas or alife ofdrudaery asa labourer?- - - " - - ~ ~'1amsorry Baba , ' 1said.'J tokl you tostudy rnore, h e sa id ,VVhfe ll pa ren t doesn ' t?He went to his room. I gathered courage to enter his bedroomhalf an hour. He had kept ahot-water bottleonhis head.


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REVOLUTION 2020 33' , \Alhn gives ag()oa job to a simple gta.duate?' Baba said,C o rr ec t, a ' s impie 'gmduate mean t nothir tg,}i nodded,

a donationcollege, Baba,' I remindedhim,agai .n? '

had not made an unreasonable suggestion. However, he hadho rr ib le tim ing,

The entrance h ad Die so m uch na ir:'L " T h e mere though t of1. ~it c aused p h ysk al aiH}HY. 'S tOQ B aba ,' 1 sc rea m ed. 'I f YOU h a d. ~ ~1 t.t - '"

011 th e la nd, we wouldso Ia ve to keep suffering;

pressednn,"pn p ained , bY 'the'

; ., . ~

for a p riv ate c olleg.e. Y o u d id n't,> .

,L.... '.ja wa y, ne SHI(\.'F ail exa ms, screa m a t arezoins in the risht direction,a: ., :",,-l ~)

son: he said, eyes ~" ' ' ' ' '7 '" ' ' . , ,'I'll do something. 1

I said.'If 1':~' 1 ' 1 { } . t /F) (:'"' ....-,. ,.. ' ...... < -; ~ . " ,. ., f. ;l . . )" l.\)'

one day, '113veto hard.You don't: he

said.I wa nted to tell

ra nk , h ow ev eru seless th a tI felt f uc ked up r wished

T{OU don't get a f if ty ~thousand\vjthouLv\/orking hard. Twanted to say

figure nut lwantedto cry, andthat it would-be great!f

1 G o awa v, Let me have some " " " " , , , ' b in rnv f ina l days: he said,I l .{ .I h ad never really xuissed

on the day of the AlEE. results, Iwished she was around, I rnyself not getting those six extraproblems right I kept rewinding to the day of the exam. / \ - , , ifmy brain

Iwent to my room

could go back in time,Rcgret-

same scenario, and Twouldn't makelfeeH ngh as to be one of th e higgest., . ~~keep regretting, even though thereanufacturtnz defects h um ans .0 .

is nopoint to it.Itayed to nry bed, 1;1RZ


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She knew m v results. Y et sh e h a dn 't ca lled . Sh e k new I'd . ca llh er when. , " " , , -.. ._, .Lwa s good a nd ready. A srti a nd L were in sync.' ,Ale wi ll ta l k on the b oa t: 1 sa id ,

'F o ur-th irty tomo rrow morning a t A ssi Ghat: sh e sa id .J went ba ck to bed a fter th e ca ll, I la y down but couldn't sleep. I tossed

a nd turned for a ges. T h ere would be no sleep tnl I sorted th ings out w ithlweut h is room, H ewa s a sleep , th e hot-water bottle still by his

bead .I kep t th e bottle aside. tty father w oke up .'Iam sorry~Baba;' Lsaid,He d id n't sa y anything,T l] do w ha tever you tt:U m e, I w ill try aga in if th a t's w h a t you want

1 '1 ]becom e a n engineer.Baba, ' Lsa id ..He placed a hand on iny head as if in blessing. It acted as a tipping

point for my emotions. J brokedown,T ' jJ work extra ha rd : I sa id a s tea rs rolled down m y cheeks ,

blessyou,goto sleep : h e said,

I reached }\SSl Ghat at four-thirty 1110f11:ing. Ph oolch andc rnyboa tman friend, sm iled a s h e h a nded m e th e oa rs. H eh a d never ch arged

a n these years, I would take boa t an hour , and buy h imand biscuits in return. Pirangswould p a y five hundred bucks fors ame .Sometimes Idhelp.himnegotiatewith foreigners in Eng lish , a n d he'dm e a ten p er cent com m ission , Y es, I could mak e money lik e th is too.not a lo t. h u teuQug h to survive, only H ah a would understa nd

this,'C orne ba ck by f ive-thirty, Phoolchand sa id , 'I have a booking.

J ap a nes e t0 1 .tris il'L ''1 v . ; rO!1 ' t take 1l10r0 than half hour: I promised.H e sm irked ..


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RBVOVUTION 2020 .. 35'Y ou have a setting

'''j'' .0 ," . ~ T -a ncnor rop e. .d1f ema l e in te ra c t ion .'Phookhand bh ai, Jw ill beth e boat

Ph oolch and sa id . a s he untied th .einterested in evervmale and

knownher for eight years; IH e smilecl,His

dawn,


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CRETAN BHAGAT'I don't kn ow . . f fed so .,> so defeated, I let Baba down.'Is he okay? ''He wants me to try again. He is obsessed with making me an

you want to he :lnengineer?'Aarti. said.'My dad is not in the lAS, My grandfather was not a minister. \i\fe are

froma simple Indian family. 'rVe don't ask these questions. \V e want toa liv ing, E ngin eerin g giv es us th at: L answ ered,

'How old-fashioned! ''Filling your stomach never goes out of fashion, Aarti; 1said,

sm iled a nd p la c d a h a nd onTbrouzhr mvmouthclose to hers, _,

"Vv 'ha t ate you doing?' Aarti said,( I ' just ", ,. ~- .t. . f _ ' . ' ~ .. ' . . ,c~ ..

a rm ..1 hugged h er, A s I h eld her,away .

'Don't, Aarti s a id s te rn ly . 'You will spoil our friendship,''1 really like yon: 1 said, I wanted 10 'love: but did not have the

C(lUrage.'1 like you ton: sh e said.'Then whywon't you kiss me?' I said,'1 don't want to.' She faced !Tl.C squarely. 'Don't get me 'wrong. Youbeen my best friend for years. But told you earlier, . .' She went'v\lh.at? ''1don't see you that \va)','she finished.1 turned awavfrom her ,: -.,_, ,-,'h'


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'Y ou a rebeing a n idiot"'Iam an idio t,d cm ' t kUCHV?

I said andwalked awaywithout

REVOLUTION 20Z{) ?37

why I couldn't c le a r th eher,


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L n c e AllmE, I did not m ake it in the JEE either. Ragh av did, with a n a ll-India ra nk of 1123. It turned h im into a m in i-celeb rity in V ara na si, L oca lp ap t'rs ca rried h ig stories th e next day . Four stu den ts from V aruna si h adcra cked th e rEE , Among those four, on ly Ra gh a v h ad clea red th e exam a sa resident ofVaranas i , The other three had appeared from Kota ,

'vVhydid they go to K(}ta?j Baba mused, looking up from then ewsp a p er,

Ba ba h ad resigned h im self to m y heing a loser. H e did not rea ct to m ynot.obtainmga rE E rank at all.

'Kola is the capital of Il'I' coachingthere, ' Ixp la ined .

Every year; th e tiny western Indian town of Kota a ccounted for athousand.or a third of the totatlIT

'\I\lhat?' Saba said.


39/50

RE\'OLUTI0N2020 * ' 39

I h ad tomeet Raghav : X h adh ap p in ess a bout h is TEE

ev en c on gra tula ted him , T rue) ldid not fedI sh culdh a ve, but e l i d not, A fter all,

we h a d b ee nf rie nd sf or ten years, One should be happy fO T pa ls . However,he wouldbe H Jl and I'd be a fuc,klng nobody; Somehow, Icould not feel abou t that I practised fake smiles wbile pressing

doorbell; Raghav the door hugged 1'n0 straight off.' H e , ; ?.. i''Congrats ,sufficientlvvisible.. 'j' '. , {""l'ci.

Q.~~. '~. Hp~;streched into a smtleand teeth'N ow 1 can say I k n e r ' } " , aI carne inside th ree- bedroom , B .H EL -provided

apartment. Newspapers sbout.hts selection la y on the diningR agh avs fa th er sa t on a .sofa \vlth\Flsiting relatives, They h ad Come to

congratulate the Kashyaps. lIT is a huge event ~ ak in to climbingthe Mount Everest or being on a space mtssion.Mr Kashyap smiled at me(rom a d is ta n ce .C a ll It roy ever-imagination, but his greeting seem ed likethe one you give to people beneath your stature, I am sure Thadh ad a ra nk, h e " Y O U l d h a ve stood up a nd shook hands with m e, A nywa y,th e b ed .one those stupid ranks

'U n believ ab le, R a gh a vto know how it feh to get'"trot)) (Ott! to diamondina da)i,

tlloughtAlEEEmay'be, but JEE,'1Vh ,. L rI"I"?' I . dv"lllCn .' , . sat ..will join 1 a good branch and be in Varanasi too;

R agh av sa id.oSHU, the Institute ofTechnology at the BanarasHindu University',

Varanasi. conducted its admissionit have the same brand equity


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'\Vhy BEll?' I said.'Lwant to do journalism part-time. I have contacts in newspape r s, Raghavs a i.d.Whenpeople .are offered something on a platter, they don't value it.Ragbav had a thing for writing. He had published some letters to

editor a nd a couole of articles'):'01.1 wH1141veup an IITJ()f a h obby?' 1'It n ota bob hy ; Journ alism is my pass ion:'V v 'h y a re yo u d oin g e ng in ee rin g then?''Dad; \ \ /hy else? Oh , 1 h av e told h im I am ta k in g BH1 J bc ca u se I willabetter brunch likeComputer Don't tell him anything else:'R aglIn v, y ou still .. "'R agh uv!'lv if K ash ya p sh outed from outside .. . . . . '- ,(' lv ly relatives, sony. I h a ve to go,"Raghav s a id . 'L e t's catch up la ter ..A a r ti a lso . I ow ev on gUYS a treat'J ,;_.... 4'H e got up to le a ve .W hen peop1e .a cb ieveSQll1 th ing, they become self-obsessed.' \Van t to know -wha t I am going to do? ' Ia id c a su ally .R a gh a v sto pp ed . O n . sorry, Sure, tell m e: sa id , I don 'tknow if heor if he fe lt obliga ted .

Allahabad University, I will take a second attempt from there: I'Sounds good;' R a gh av sa id , '1 am sure youw iH cra ck som eth ing. A t'IEEE:'.:"".~,->:.. . x \ , , ~ , , . ) . , . , . ' - j

VI /hen p eo ple d ea r JEE,theystart using ph rases J ikc


41/50

researchingon.Kota. ' Han sal a ndaayotl know'?)

'1 ; ;\ rn a retired ,. .. .. , ,"_ .." '- , 1 c a n' (< '"1 '" ,1 :) I said.Ja w"h) .I. - : . 'i.,.'1 am ready tor

expenses ;1tDUJ14 three'Ihirty plus

'r. rou. Tuition is thiftll thousand a vear. Living~ j - I


42/50

Lcould get 'with my p e rc en ta g e. How could I tell her 1 am going?

Of course, Lcouldn't g ' ive Baba this reason to stay in Varanasi, 'I. ,promise I will work harder next time,' I said.

fintsheddinner and Ibegan to dear the table,w ill keep doing dom estic ch ores h ere,' B aba sh outed .suddenly .

a re going:' You have foe ty - thou sand . v V h a . t a bout th e rest? 'Alhat a b ou t ex p en se sas travel, books, enrranceexam fees?' I said,My father showed me his shrivelled index f in ge r. I t had a th ick gold

band around 'Idon't need th isuseless ring: h e sa id. '\V e a lso h ave som emother's jev't'ellery:'You ,\/,nU1Uo se n Mas jewellery f or coaching classes? ''J h a d kep t a ll that for y our wi fe ; but after you becom e an engineer}

you ca n buy th em for h er yourself'What if you fall HI, Babai Better aU th is fur medical

Bmergencies:'Y ou join.a n engineering college a nd Illy a gevvm reduceby ten yea rs;laughed, trying to s of te n the situation. I sa w h is fa ce, one front tooth

missing, His laughter meant everything to me. I thought about Kota.did seem goodjltmaking.students entranceexarns.T thought

about the downside ~ the money required, the uncertainty and, of course,aw.ay fforn. Aarti .

'1)0 it for Y01:.1f old m an;' h e sa id , 'I 'd m ove YOll to Kota , but it'stile to tra vel so fa r. \V eh ave to m ain ta in th is I ittleh ouse too:finer Ba ba . I f I g o . , T llgq by r n y s e L C I said.

'Your mother ton wanted you to become an engineer :'I looked at my mother's picture the wall, She looked h a p py ,

and . Y 'ULlY lg .'T a ke ca reofvour fa th er: sh e seem ed to tell InC( :.- .... -. -'\


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'REVOLUTION 2020 $43'Sh ow us th e blackout 's ; 'hvelvedothes hangers ,'V"lehad . C C H 1 1 e a

th ings I'd need in K ota ,'J us t b e ca u se 1 am help ing you shop doesn't mean Ian} h a p p y about

said to the shopkeeper. She peintcd to a set

shop in Nadeshar Road to buy

vou leavtnz Vanmasi;'I ' - ~ > ' it.is the right thinga pp roved

bu yin g towe ls ,good d is coun t:s ho p keep e r g rim a c ed , ignored hi.JIL'" have known wha t to buy: I told

'I amnot going to cook.Aart! ignored m e,

la rge s teel bme l a nd h eld it up ,'For emergencies:..j ,>everyday;

Forg(rt,.no?'h a ve a tif fin sv stem .

lJ J th e utensils sec tion a nd p icked up a'If] came to Kota with you, I'd cook for

roy kitch en H a sh edV ( ; ; S l ' H ; ' L The pktureof her cooking:does Aarti make siaiements like

th ese i 'vV ha t a m I supposed 'I'll manage f ine; 1 said, .' Ihe$hop~>:r~rlJl.a.ar: the bUL Aarti looked a t me.She h yp notised roetime, She w as turning p rettier every w eek.

A SInaU girlwho to th e shop with her mothercame up toA a rti. 'D o vou C0111cnn TV? '. .Aarti shook her head and She turned to the shopkeeper.'Uncle, twentyper cent discount: Aarti wasnt too conscious her looks.

checked herself had make-up on, and evenher often t 10ppedaH over I t made her even m ore attractive,

'Shouldweleavei" $ ; 1 1 1 ,' \Vhatever:


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Bn:AGAT' \ I\ lh a t h a. o . . f " l .ened?1. . 1 : : 1 . : "'A t th e la st m inute you sa y ra ndom . th ings like "if 1 ca m e. to Kola ' :'1 could, I will tell dad I also want to repeat a 'lear, Van never know'... ,(winked.J stared ather, seeking a h int ofseriousness inh er comment \\Tould

thatbepossible?'Reallv! ' J sa id, a lm ost b eliev ing h er.. .. ~'I'm joking, stupid. Iold you,

A g n l . s e x J ; , College:enrolled for Psychology honours{ )

thought y ou ",,' _ ' , . . ; ) ~ . . . . " ' . l.... , b",out of the shop .

'How m uch? ' I sa id a s Lfumbled with mv wa lle t,She my walletand placed in pocket She placed

a on. Ul)' l ips.~Vhy do gir ls se nd conjilsing sign als? S he h ad r e : l n 4 J e d HlC o n th e bo at

Yets tu: c ome s t o s lwp>~v i i h .rnej() t bo r i ng do t h e s hang e r s and 1 a ,.,.,.,,,,jll''! "'J,c?rnU,. m e t h r e e,:.J, . r ~.t....~t _ r" .. .; }{ ;j :. , . L:t,*"~*-.".~/;j:", . ,1 '- ~ \,..,-t;. ..'

rcs..- . ' ' ' ' L> . Does sh e care fo r Ina o r

want to trv the new Dominosat...,. .'C an we go to th e gh a ts? ' I sa id .'Ghats?' she said, surprised.'Iwant to soa k in a s m uch Va ra na si a s p ossible before llea ve'


45/50

REYOUJ'XIQN 2020 . ( 1 ) 45' ,' \I e walked to steps

D ash ash wa m edh on our f igh t, V v ' e'~" '""" ," ' ,~ 'h a ng e c olo urs with

t h e never -end ingShiva 'g

th e holiestShe held Tn\'elbow lh !,h rlv . I a roun d, A n art from som e touristsi' : j . ; _ . / Xsadh .n .$ ,Ip otreda loca ls. J sh ook elbow free.

r ,;"l'h', rh o t ..' t ' " . +1 .. the 1 . . .. Ti.anta I. (1, quie .r man . ne l)US)to ea ch oth er a nd W a tch ed th e

sun, On our left, Hames flickeredtheManikarnika Ghat l 1 1 C gha t ;dropped here during a dance, is

not g {)o d,K " S - " ' ; ' . . . ' - . . ~ ~rsecause.yeu are ,: agyrLShe srnackedmyelbo \, \{ ;'People talk They don't

ghats holding elbows''\;"./0 a re ju st really good

good things about girls 'w ho sit on thesaid,

I b a ted th a t term . I wanted to ta lk about my place in.her lif e, e ve n

touch.a re cyhcl 'cafcs in K ota , rig ht? 'Iodded ,

look so glum :" .dista nce. T he' ' 'Vh.at is you r'A b out \y h.a t? ~

heardthe temple bells ring the

'A b ou t u s, Us heingn: lOre"Please, Gop . a l, again , '""I becamequiet, v V e saw the c'vening aarti from. a distance, A dozen

holding giant lam p s of f lam Ing torches, prayedsynchronised moves as in th( ; ' background. Hundreds of

gathered around. . . 1 . . " , "':":r"'t'; (W IJ>'n'11'J.r. ; 'J,j ..".. ~,~t:J


46/50

if6 .. CrnrrAN BRAGATlike th e A arti nex t to m e. Sh e'l'V ort:-B . p ea cock b lue sa lw a r-ka rneez a ndf ish-shapedsilverearr tngs ,

'1 don't f ee l th a t way , G op al, sh e sa id .A bout ra e? 'Abou t a ny on e. A nd I like wha t von and 1 share . Don't vou? '- -,~ - f'Ido. But I am lea ving now , Ifwe h a d a c emm ttm e nt, w ou ld n't it h e

better? '


47/50


48/50


49/50

Itook m e tw en tv- th ree. , j -.h a d erna iled V ineet, aKota , I learntabout

reputat ion,boywhod spent the last yearc ra sses: B a nsa l a nd Resonance h a d th e

screened students with their OJ/vT! tests.I did. not get into B ansa l or Resonance , Kota h ad oth er, less selec tiv e

coaching classes thatI Iowev er, b ef ore J jo ined a coa ch ing gh etto Th a d to find a p la ce to

h ailed a n. a uto from th e r a jhvayMah av lr N~ !g a r;n ea r Bansal '-.,


50/50

lnodded.'Shankar, originally from Alwar, he said. He extended his grease-

stainedhand.I shookit a s littlea s p ossib le.X iop el from V ara na si,H e gave me a business ca rd for th e t if f in service . Two mea ls a day for

a monthly costof fif teen h undred bucks,'Let us take care of the food. You b oy s stu dy , it is such a tough exam: , RepeatersonJy go for coaching c la s se s, 1 \1 a n y sleep all day: Some landlords

would me more attention than his

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