East of Eden Book Chapter (Cyrus Trask)
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Transcript of East of Eden Book Chapter (Cyrus Trask)
[ 1 ]
At some point in everyone's life, there comes a realization that they will die. Some can
find solace in religion, with the prospect of life after death, while others can accept their fate and
move on. However, some can never come to terms with the fleeting nature of their existence.
Allen Strauss was one such person.
Allen was born and grew up on a small farm in north western Connecticut, disconnected
from the world for most of his childhood. The land was fertile, his family was well-to-do, never
hurting for money; if Allen wanted something, he asked for it and he usually got it. He lived a life
of ease, an ideal life that would make many angry with jealousy. However, despite the lack of
hardship in his life, or perhaps because of it, he was a very unhappy child.
For as long as he could remember, Allen had an intense fear of death. For the most part,
he would live as any other child, but during the time he was alone and unoccupied, the fear
would strike him, powerful and oppressive. He would imagine his body slowly becoming more
and more broken as time went on, eventually leading to death and infinite nothingness, and it
was when he tried to comprehend the idea of uniform blackness - no, not even blackness,
blankness, because he would not be able to perceive black - that he felt a surge of fear that took
over his entire body and mind. Sometimes he would go into a frenzy of desperate yelling, feeling
his body full of adrenaline and primal fear, while other times he would sob into the night, spasms
of pure terror rolling over his crumpled body. At first, his parents were concerned for his bouts
of sorrow and fear, but eventually they grew impatient, and ignored his condition. As time went
on, Allen outgrew his outbursts of emotion, but the fear of death always remained, and as he
grew older it insidiously wormed its way into all aspects of his life, making him plaintive when he
was alone and sour when around others. He grew up with the acknowledgment that everything
must end, and this overbearing fact became the lens through which he saw the world. He tried
to desire nothing, because he knew it would eventually be torn from him.
[ 2 ]
When Allen came of age, he began attending a school a little ways off from his farm.
When he first entered the classroom, his first impression was that it was rather forgettable. The
schoolhouse was a humble construction, with a simple rectangular base, and a brick chimney
that protruded out from the rear of the building. The entire structure was elevated up off of the
ground, a foot or so, by an old brick foundation, which was originally used to hold up a previous
farmhouse that had been blown over by a storm. The bricks were conspicuously mismatched
and uneven, with some being weathered and faded and the newer bricks that made up the
steps that lead up to the entrance being distinct and bright. For the building's exterior, there was
a white siding with timber panels, overlapping each other. The paint that coated them had been
battered off in small areas by wind, revealing the original veins of the cedar that made up the
planks. Several windows lined the sides of the building as well as two on either side of the door.
Each one was indistinguishable from the other besides the slight aging of the glass. They each
had a light brown paint on the lining around them as well as on the grids that divided up the
glass. The roof had similarly colored eaves that bordered the grey paneling, covering the roof.
The door to the building had a white coat of paint and four panels, as well as a trim that
corresponded to that of the windows and roof. The doorknob was made of a dark metal with an
oval shape. When opened, the bottom edge of the door would scrape against the floor, making
a distinct curved marking on the hardwood. The floor was made of grey strips of wood that
extended parallel to the span of the room. The flooring had many scratches, concentrating
around the legs of the desks, and some of the planks were slightly upturned at one end. The
frames of the desks were made of black iron. Their seats and desks were made of white pine
wood, each with a chalk board and a small stick of chalk placed on the table. Ms. Lena's desk
was set near the front of the room, well-organized with textbooks, notebooks, and her bronze
bell, all neatly lined up along her desk. Behind her desk was a large iron furnace connected to
the chimney.
In class, Allen attracted little attention. Most people ignored him, and as he was
reasonably good in most subjects he was rarely reprimanded by his teacher. He kept to himself
most of the time, and during recess sat by himself on a withered tree stump a little ways off from
the classroom, watching the other children dance and run about with laughter and gleeful looks.
Despite his solitude, he never desired to join them, and merely observed their enjoyment like a
cat observes its surroundings atop a garden wall, puzzling at how they could be so happy when
they were going to die. Allen felt a kind of arrogance, thinking he was above such petty
enjoyment. He went through the days of school in this manner, a shadow of a boy, until he
reached the sixth grade. This was when he first saw Cyrus Trask.
One morning Allen arrived in the classroom to find everyone ogling at something at the
front of the room. Being average height, he had to crane his neck to get a good view of what,
and saw that it was a new student. Normally he would be disinterested - there had already been
two new students earlier that year, who had both simply melded in with the groups of happy
children in Allen's mind - but there was something different about the student that now stood at
the front of the class. He seemed to have an aura of superiority; he looked down at the students
staring at him with a slightly upturned chin, and seemed neither put off or nervous because of
the attention given to him; on the contrary, he seemed to enjoy it, with a hint of a smile on his
lips. Allen had never seen anyone like him.
Cyrus was told to sit down, and he walked to his seat with the kind of swagger that only
those who believe that they are above being judged by anyone else have. Allen stared at him
and took in everything about him; his light brown hair, his bright eyes, his broad shoulders, and
his callused hands. Suddenly Allen was filled with several emotions, from anger to jealousy to
admiration. He tried to suppress the feelings and was confused when he couldn't. Maybe part of
the reason he was feeling as he did was because he had never felt like anyone else in the class
had challenged his idea of quiet superiority.
During recess, Allen watched Cyrus from his usual place in the schoolyard. He was
puzzled, because he had expected Cyrus to be surrounded by a group of admirers, but he was
alone like Allen was. Allen considered approaching him. At first he became nervous at the idea,
and was apprehensive at the possibility of rejection or attracting attention from other students,
but he then gave himself a mental slap and considered that what the other students thought
about him wouldn't matter in the end, and that in reality no one would notice or care about him
anyway. He wrestled with the idea, trying to use it to overcome his hesitation, but in the end he
decided not to and settled back in to the comfort of passivity.
The next day, Allen was once again watching Cyrus, when Cyrus suddenly got up. Allen
averted his gaze, and looked around at the other students.
"Hey."
Allen looked up, surprised. Cyrus was standing over him. Allen tried to think of
something to say, but couldn't, and simply stared. He tried to remain calm and composed, but
he was too surprised by the fact that Cyrus had approached him. Cyrus gave him a look akin to
pity, then turned around and sat down where he had been before. Allen cursed himself, then
wondered why he did, realizing that whether or not he had made a good first impression on
Cyrus they would both eventually die and none of it would matter. He put the negative thought
out of his head and resolved to approach Cyrus the next day.
During recess the following morning, Allen walked up to where Cyrus sat and stood
awkwardly for a moment before beginning the conversation.
"Hi there."
Allen stood lamely while waiting for Cyrus to respond, but after a moment Cyrus looked
up and spoke.
"Hey. I talked to you yesterday, didn't I?"
Allen nodded, and, although awkward at first, they began to talk about a multitude of
things. Allen was surprised it was so easy for them to talk, and he began to admire Cyrus even
more. Cyrus boasted about how he had killed three rabbits the other day, beaten two kids older
than him in wrestling, and other things of that nature. Allen listened, and was both deeply
impressed with his accomplishments and excited because he felt that he could accomplish the
same thing as well. The recess passed faster for him than it ever had before, and Allen spent
remainder of his time in class reflecting on Cyrus's greatness. He wanted to become like Cyrus,
strong and admirable. The thought of death seemed farther away than it had before; it was hard
to imagine anyone like Cyrus dying.
When he walked home that day, Allen came across a black walnut tree. He was
somewhat surprised, as he had never noticed it before, and upon examining it he wondered why
he hadn't. It was a large tree with a thick trunk and a wide canopy of leaves, with roots that
popped out of the ground in various places and tangled over each other as they converged on
the central tree trunk. The trunk had thick dark bark covering it, which was broken up by jagged
cracks, and exuded a kind of ancient immovable power. From the trunk, smaller branches
fanned out, and seemed to reach infinitely high into the sky. The tips of the branches were
covered in lush leaves, which were long, slender, and tapered into sharp points. The sun
illuminated the leaves and they shown with a vibrant shade of green. Allen felt humbled by the
tree, and stood for a moment admiring it. Through openings in the leaves, beams of sunlight
were cast down, and created small dots of light among the roots. The spots of light danced
around as gusts of wind struck the leaves, and they drew Allen's attention back down to the
roots. He saw numerous walnuts scattered around the base of the tree, and as he was looking
at them he decided to pick one up. He rubbed the coarse shell in his hands, then held it up to
the light to admire it. It looked strangely delicate, pale and wrinkled like human skin. He pried at
the rough exterior, and spent a while trying to open it. He felt excitement when he finally did,
and popped the seed from the shell into his mouth, then gagged and coughed at the dry after
taste. He threw the hard shell to the ground, and wondered why he had been so excited to open
it.
.[ 3 ]
As the two boys spent more time together, their relationship evolved into a kind of
rivalry; both became top students of the class and the best at games in the schoolyard, gaining
praise from the teacher and admiration from the other students. For Allen, Cyrus provided
motivation that he had never known before; he wanted to become better than Cyrus, and
worked hard toward his new goal. For Cyrus, Allen was new competition that he had to assert
his dominance and prove his superiority over. He acknowledged Allen as above the other
students but still below himself. Between the two of them, Cyrus was always the one to receive
more praise from the teacher, could always beat Allen at the games they played, and as such
encouraged Adam with a kind of protective smugness because he knew his superiority and
believed that Allen would never catch up to him. While Allen was sometimes comforted by
Cyrus' kind words, he also sometimes felt a fear of him, because he knew that Cyrus was better
than he was and could easily turn the words of encouragement into sour words of scorn and
contempt.
It was ironic, but as much time as the boys spent together, they rarely actually thought
about one another and were each absorbed in their own world. Their conversations were mostly
both boys preening their own ego and paying little mind to what the other said unless it was of
contentious nature. For example, a typical conversation they would have while walking home
together might go along these lines:
" Hello. "
" Hey there. What did you think of my poem recital? "
" It was good. "
" I barely even spent any time reading it. I think I memorized it after reading it twice. "
" That's good. Did I tell you about the boy I beat in wrestling yesterday? "
Their relationship continued in this way for a long time, with neither boys paying any
mind to the one sided nature of their conversations. They were simply happy to have an
audience and companionship. When talking to Cyrus, Allen felt a warmth and deep happiness,
and the thoughts of death and the future rarely crossed his mind. At the time, Allen hoped that
he and Cyrus would remain friends forever, and feared the day when they would eventually
have to part.
[ 4 ]
One day, walking home from school, Cyrus and Allen heard a mewing from behind the
walnut tree. It sounded pained, and although Cyrus wanted to continue walking and ignore it,
Allen urged him to come with him behind the tree to investigate. They walked around the tree
and found the source of the mewing, which was a cat whose back legs had been crushed by a
branch that had fallen off of the walnut tree. Its coat was a light grey with dark stripes of varying
darkness and thickness across it. The paws were small for its overall size, and were stubby and
round. Dark markings of the fur defined the areas from which the claws could extend. The
pattern of dark stripes showed greatly on the cat's legs, which banded around the ankles and
grew lighter as they got closer to the body. The pattern of dark lines continued to the end of the
tail, which was limp on the ground. The body itself was small and slender, and the lines from the
tail and legs blended on it, leading up to the neck. The cat's neck had one dark defined line that
resembled a collar. Its head was quite large in proportion to the rest of the body, and if not for
the face, could easily have been mistaken for a kitten. The ears themselves were tall, yet
narrow, with sharp angular points at the ends, and the skin of the ears was very thin. The
distinct pattern of lines that covered the body ended around the face to provide a blank canvas
for the eyes, nose, and mouth. The opening for the eyes were small, rounded slits, and the eyes
seemed to sink into the face. The cat's pupils were small as to make the yellow eye color more
prominent. The nose was a very light shade of pink, making it blend well with the white fur. The
cat's mouth was bent downward, and made it seem as if the cat were frowning.
Allen stared at the cat for a moment, perplexed by its strange appearance. He felt a pity
for it, seeming fragile and helpless, and then felt the urge to take action. He ran up to the branch
that the cat had been crushed under, intending to lift it up, but the cat hissed as he approached
it. Allen paused and looked at its yellow eyes, and felt distrust and dislike emanating from them.
"I don't think he wants you to help him," Cyrus muttered.
Allen ignored him and tried lifting the branch up. He pulled as hard as he could, but the
branch wouldn't budge. He felt his face turning red as he imagined Cyrus judging him from
behind, but when he turned around Cyrus was examining the trunk.
"Hey, could you help me out here?" Allen asked.
Cyrus nodded, then stepped beside Allen and lifted the branch with ease. Allen felt
humbled and jealous at Cyrus's strength but tried to forget about it. He then reached down for
the cat, but when his hands came close to the cat's face it hissed and bit him. Allen yelled in
pain and fell back, clutching his bleeding hand. Cyrus watched, amused, then approached the
cat himself. It hissed at him as well, but Cyrus stared at it for a moment and the cat eventually
stopped, whereupon Cyrus picked it up in one arm, then walked over to Allen and helped him up
with the other. They then walked back to the schoolhouse, Cyrus standing upright and leading
the way and Allen trailing close behind, hunched over and grasping his hand.
Ms. Lena was still tidying up the classroom when they walked in, and Cyrus handed her
the cat and explained the situation to her. Allen felt somewhat lame, standing off to the side
grasping his bleeding hand, and felt annoyance and resentment when Ms. Lena thanked only
Cyrus for helping the cat. He wasn't even the one who had wanted to help the cat in the first
place. Allen looked at the two of them, then decided that they wouldn't notice if he slipped out.
Before he went, he looked back at the cat, who was glaring and hissing at Ms. Lena.
[ 5 ]
Eventually, Allen grew tired of the sorrow that came from depressing thoughts that
crossed his mind when he was alone and wanted to alleviate them. It had never occurred to him
to try to tell anyone else about it, but he decided that he would share it with Cyrus.
They were on the way back from school, and it was under the walnut tree that Allen
brought up the topic.
He was tentative at first, and said slowly, "Hey, Cyrus... have you ever thought of
death?"
Cyrus turned toward him and seemed surprised, then said, "'Course I have. Everyone
does, don't they?"
It was then Allen's turn to be surprised. He had never considered that others might think
the same thing he had. He felt slightly annoyed, as he had felt a kind of pride in the idea of
being a lone sufferer. He paused for a moment, trying to come up with the right words for what
he wanted to ask.
"Well, when you think about death, do you get really scared? I mean, isn't it scary to
think about not being there, not seeing or hearing or smelling anything forever?"
Cyrus considered the idea, but as he had never thought of it much himself, the concept
went over his head and he didn't try to understand it.
"I suppose so," he said off handedly. Then he began talking about how Ms. Lena had
praised him for his handwriting earlier in the day.
Allen felt a pang of annoyance, and maybe it was then that he realized that for the most
part Cyrus talked only of himself and thought only of himself. He tried to recall a time when
Cyrus had asked Allen something about himself, but found that he could not. This troubled him.
He had always thought that their friendship was an ideal one, but he was beginning to realize
that they both rarely talked about anything other than themselves. He dwelled on the idea a little
longer, then put the thought out of his head and tried to talk to Cyrus as he had before.
From that moment on Allen began to lose his motivation. He began to talk to Cyrus more
and more of death and pointlessness of life, and when Cyrus bragged about his
accomplishments Allen began to reprimand him in a condescending tone, reminding him that no
one really cared about him and were all only thinking about themselves. Cyrus felt annoyance at
the change that came over Allen. He got the impression that Allen was overstepping the place
of inferiority that Cyrus had gotten used to him occupying, and he disliked the idea of Allen
talking to him as if he knew more than him. Despite his dislike of the new manner in which Allen
talked, Cyrus attempted to ignore it and tried to talk as he always had, deciding to use the
opportunity to establish himself as mature enough to brush off Allen's words.
[ 6 ]
It was a cold and boring day that Allen and Cyrus decided to visit the dock near the
schoolhouse. They had gotten bored of their usual spot, and were curious about the place
where they had often seen other children playing. As they approached the dock, Cyrus seemed
to be excited, but upon seeing it Allen felt apprehension. The dock was perched up on some of
the steeper parts of the beach, and the aged wood looked dark black from a distance due to
countless years of battering from the sea. The pillars that supported the dock were covered in
mussels that protruded out like spikes above the waves. Many of the structural cross-beams
that connected the pillars had come lose and hung diagonally by one nail. The dock itself only
extended into the ocean by five or six pillars, but the water was already relatively deep there.
Many of the planks and boards that made up the dock were missing or barely attached, and the
pieces of wood still standing were rotting and falling apart. They were cracked along their veins,
and all of their knots had fallen out. The nails holding the planks together were coated in brown
rust that stained the wood around them along the path that the water flowed. Many of them were
broken and protruded out from the planks far enough to pierce a thick shoe. The boards and
pillars creaked and moaned under the stress from the wind and the waves.
Allen was hesitant to come closer to the dock, but Cyrus was walking quickly toward it
and Allen felt himself pulled toward him. He caught up as Cyrus reached the beginning of the
dock, and paused when he saw that Cyrus was staring into the ocean. The waves were
reflected in his eyes, which looked strangely cold and detached as they gazed at the crash and
roll of the ocean. Allen turned toward the ocean himself and was mesmerized by the infinite
grayness that lay before him. He felt naked, and a shiver went up his spine as he tried to grasp
the vastness of it. Suddenly he crouched down and grabbed hold of the ground, as if the ocean
would carry him away if he stood too tall. As he was crouching, Cyrus began to walk forward on
to the dock.
Allen was afraid. He called for Cyrus to come back, but Cyrus continued to walk forward.
Allen wanted to go with him but his body rejected the idea of being exposed on the dock so far
in to the gray and vast ocean. He tried to move but couldn't.
"Wait, Cyrus!" Allen called.
By the time Allen called out Cyrus was already at the end of the dock, and standing with
his hands behind his back, the wind whipping at his hair as he stared into the ocean. Allen
suddenly felt anger at himself. Why was he so afraid? He forced himself to get up, and walked
shakily to the dock. His legs felt like they would give out from under him with every step, but he
eventually made it and got beside Cyrus, whereupon he immediately crouched down and
grabbed onto the sides of some of the planks. Cyrus looked down at him, and Allen felt
embarrassed and pathetic but said nothing. He and Cyrus stood, staring out at the sea for a few
minutes, Allen staying only because Cyrus was. He felt more and more inferior as time passed,
feeling envious of Cyrus's strong stance and stare, and also angry because he had the
impression that Cyrus was enjoying being in such an obvious position of superiority.
Eventually Cyrus slowly turned and headed back on the dock. Allen felt relief, and got up
as well, but when he tried to follow Cyrus back he wavered and fell - a nail had gotten stuck in
the hem of his pants and threw off his balance. He screamed as he fell off the dock.
He felt a blind panic as he fell into the ocean and its coldness surrounded him. He
struggled to breathe but found that he couldn't. He thrashed his body around but the world was
growing darker around him. He regretted even coming close to the dock and hated Cyrus for
pulling him toward the dock. Then the world went black.
Allen awoke later in the classroom. He was covered in a towel and propped up in a
corner. He felt extremely cold and shivered, then cracked his eyes open and peeked out at the
room. He saw Cyrus standing on the other side of the room, surrounded by a gaggle of boys
and girls. He closed his eyes and listened to what they were saying.
"Was the water cold?"
"How were you not afraid of the water?"
"How did he fall in? Did you push him?"
"I can't believe you saved him!"
Allen closed his eyes, and felt resentment and hate slowly coursing through his body. He
felt like a tool that Cyrus had used to further his own greatness. He realized that he hated
everything about Cyrus; how he selfishly talked only of himself, how he looked down upon
everyone else and was so sure in his superiority, and how he could move forward and face what
Allen feared. He tried to suppress the feeling again, telling himself that it was useless to be
angry and that in reality his temporary glory would be gone anyway, but the anger stayed
nagging at the back of his head and he decided to let it stay.
[ 7 ]
Over the next few months, the relationship between Allen and Cyrus degraded from
healthy rivalry into bitter hatred hidden beneath a facade of friendly social interaction. Allen was
sick of being under Cyrus and Cyrus began to loathe the dreariness and listlessness that Allen
had taken on. They had both grown tired of talking to each other and only continued to do so
because they had been friends for so long that neither wanted to destroy the relationship that
they had built.
As the hate for Cyrus that Allen had been housing grew, he began to grow impatient with
Cyrus. Whenever Cyrus tried to talk about himself, Allen would either interject with a sour
interruption or reply in a biting manner. It was because of this that Cyrus' patience also began to
waver, and eventually it got to the point where the anger in both boys was fiery and barely held
back, with both ready to snap given the right opportunity.
The opportunity came when Cyrus began absent mindedly reminiscing about how he
had saved Allen from drowning. He began to talk of how he had gotten presents from many of
the other students' parents and how they were relieved that Cyrus had been there.
All of the sudden, the hatred that Allen had been cultivating for Cyrus broke to the
surface. He felt anger like he never had before, and wanted to destroy everything about Cyrus;
his confidence, his superiority, his self assured encouragement.
"I despise you. You're such a selfish person. You gave me empty encouragement
because you think you're better than me. No one's going to care no matter how great you
become anyway." The words came out like a hiss.
Cyrus looked taken aback, but then regained his composure. He looked down at Allen
with a cold eye, causing him to falter and regret lashing out. Cyrus stared at him for a moment
before speaking.
"You're such a funny boy, you know that? The way you talk about death and life being
meaningless makes me sick. Does it make you feel good to act like you know better than
everyone else? Do you think you're better than anyone just because you're a stick in the mud
who can only think about the depressing parts of life? You think you're smarter 'cause you're
scared? You're pathetic. I think you're jealous because I am better than you. I would clobber you
but you're not worth touching with my fist. Has it ever occurred to you that other people think
about death too? You're nothing special."
Allen opened his mouth several times, trying to speak, but couldn't think of anything to
say. He felt hot blood rise into his face and he fell to the floor, crying tears of frustration. Cyrus
looked at his pathetically crumpled body and felt disgusted. He kicked Allen in the stomach as
hard as he could then turned and walked away.
As Allen laid on the floor, the feelings of misery and pain pouring over his body, he tried
to consider everything that had happened. He suddenly felt as if a curtain had fallen away and
he was able to see the harsh reality behind everything. He realized with his negative self
reassurances that what he did wouldn't matter in the end, he had gotten carried away and
overconfident. It was foolish to think that he could ever reach Cyrus. He also realized that he
and Cyrus had never really been friends, just two people talking for the sake of talking. Lastly,
he realized that in the end there was no one to pity him. People like him were what stopped
society from moving forward, and weren't worth sparing attention to. He suddenly felt very tired.
He was tired of being alive and feeling such fleeting emotions that always passed so quickly it
was like they had never been, tired of feeling irrational fear, tired of trying to reconcile himself
with death. He reflected on how once he died it would be as if he had never lived at all and he
would be forgotten quickly, and how whether he died early or late the end result would be the
same. It was then that he made up his mind. He was tired of running.
[ 8 ]
Allen slowly stepped out on to the dock. He took a deep breath, and marveled at the
crisp and fresh air. He felt the warmth of the sun on his back, and a cool breeze rustled his hair.
He looked around at the rolling hills beside the dock, with the vibrant hues and swaying grass,
and his eyes passed over the black walnut tree, which appeared withered and shrunken.
Looking up, he saw a sky of the deepest blue and fluffy white clouds lazily drifting by. Then, he
looked forward into the ocean. It was peaceful, with gray waves rolling serenely on the water's
surface. He braced himself and fell from the dock.
Cyrus was later told that Allen and his family had moved away. While at first he missed
Allen's company, he forgot about him in a week. He was busy aspiring to greatness and had no
time to dwell on his lost friend.