East Lothian NCT branch smallTALK East... · or its products and services by the NCT, nor does it...

Spring 2014

smallTALK

Inside:

©NCT, Alexandra House, Oldham Terrace London W3 6NH, Registered charity no. 801395

x Get involved with your local NCT branch x Sharing parental leave - Christina and Neil’s story x Forthcoming Antenatal and First Aid courses x Sam’s birth story - a homebirth this time round

East Lothian NCT branch

NCT East Lothian 2 Spring 2014


EDITOR’S WELCOME

CONTENTS SPRING 2014 About the NCT / Who’s who in East Lothian NCT 4 Branch Coordinators’ update 5 Recent events A bit of pampering for Mum… 6 What’s on in East Lothian Bumps, Babies and Toddler group 7 Baby and Child First Aid course 9 Nearly New Sale / Looking for bargains? 10 NCT Signature antenatal courses 12 New arrivals 13 Sam’s birth story 14 Joyce and Shane Presley share their homebirth experience Sharing the responsibility 20 Shared parental leave has been a success for Christina and Neil How about getting involved? 28 NCT East Lothian is on the look out for new volunteers Looking for breastfeeding support? 34

DISCLAIMER The views expressed in this newsletter are those of contributors and not necessarily those of the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) or the Editor. Articles may not be reproduced without permission from the Editors. The information in this newsletter is intended for the use of NCT members only in connection with NCT activities and may not be used for any commercial purposes. The conditions of the Data Protection Act 1998 may apply. The appearance of an advertisement in this newsletter does not imply endorsement of the advertiser or its products and services by the NCT, nor does it constitute a recommendation. The NCT does not accept liability for any loss, injury or damage arising out of goods or services sold through any advertisement in this newsletter. Any discount offered to NCT members by advertisement is done so entirely at the discretion of the advertiser.

Jane Short lives in Haddington with her husband,

Doug, and their two children Ben and Emily

Welcome to the Spring issue of smallTALK, the East Lothian NCT newsletter. Produced quarterly, smallTALK is free to NCT Members as well as being available in health centres, baby and tod-dler groups and libraries. Once you have read this issue, please do pass it on to other parents and parents-to-be. In this issue, we have a wonderful birth story from Joyce Lukkes who achieved the homebirth she was hoping for. Plus we have an article written by both Christina and Neil Lambert on sharing parental leave to look after their daughter, Issy. And turn to page 28 for an insight into volunteering for your local NCT branch. Hope you enjoy reading this issue!


The NCT (the National Childbirth Trust)

is a charity with over 100,000 members across the UK. We are a campaigning organisation that works to give all parents access to the choices and rights that make parenthood an even more enjoyable experience. We also provide a range of information and services, everything from antenatal courses to breastfeeding counselling. On a more local level, the NCT is a net-work of friends, expertise and support that once experienced, you’ll never want to be without. Our strength comes from the dedication of our volunteers, who work through our network of branches to provide and sup-port local services, training and evidence-based information for parents, families and health professionals.

Our vision The NCT wants all parents to have an experience of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood that enriches their lives and gives them confidence in being a parent. The NCT’s charitable purpose xWe offer information and support in

pregnancy, childhood and early parent-hood.

xWe campaign to improve maternity care and ensure better services and facilities for new parents.

xWe aim to give every parent the chance to make informed choices.

xWe want to make sure that everyone has access to our services and activities.

ABOUT THE NCT

Who’s who in East Lothian NCT Branch Coordinators Mhairi Christie / Jane Short Treasurer Gill Ball Parent Support Coordinator Sandra Brodie Website Manager Alistair Nelson Membership Coordinator Joyce Lukkes Newsletter Editor Jane Short Ordinary Members Fiona Docherty / Fiona Fisher Antenatal Teacher Nicky Neighbour Postnatal Leader Larraine Rettie Breastfeeding Counsellor Kirsty Nicol Nearly New Sale Coordinators Mhairi Christie / Fiona Heys First Aid Coordinator Lucy Pritchard

NCT helpline For useful information and support during pregnancy and birth, call our telephone helpline on 0300 330 0700 or use our online service. Our services are provided by a small team of trained and experienced NCT workers. Visit www.nct.org.uk for full details and opening times.


Dear Mums, Dads and Parents-to-be, With the clocks going forward and the evenings getting lighter, it definitely feels like spring is here. So, if you fancy doing some spring-cleaning, why not take advantage of our upcoming Nearly New Sale on Saturday 3 May in Haddington. It’s a great way to sell on baby and chil-dren’s items which you no longer need – whether it’s buggies, cots, toys or clothes. There’s sure to be someone who would appreciate your pre-loved items. Details of how to book a table are on page 10. Alternatively, if you’re looking to build up that summer wardrobe for your little one, searching for some toys or games to keep them entertained outdoors, or simply fancy a bit of a browse and some thrifty retail therapy, then pop the date of Satur-day 3 May into your diary, and come down to the Corn Exchange to take a look. There will even be tea, coffee and homebaking to keep you going! Another date for your diary is our Baby and Child First Aid course on the evening of Wednesday 28 May. Designed specifi-cally for the NCT and run in partnership with the British Red Cross, the course is a great way to boost your confidence as a parent. Priced at just £25 for an individ-ual, or £45 for a couple, I'm sure that you'll agree that it is money well spent. Places do go quickly so email us on [email protected] to book or register your interest. And if the longer, spring days make you feel that there are more hours in the day, then why not think about some volunteer-ing – we are always on the look out for

BRANCH COORDINATORS’ UPDATE

Mhairi Christie and Jane Short, Branch Coordinators, NCT East Lothian

HOW TO STAY IN TOUCH There are three ways to stay up-to-date with activities in your local branch and to let us know what you would like to see: Join us on Facebook: For regular updates on what’s happening, visit our Facebook page. Simply type in East Lothian NCT. Visit our website: www.ncteastlothian.org.uk Email us on: [email protected]

people to join us, whether it’s helping out at a one-off Nearly New Sale, or perhaps getting involved with the committee. We welcome anyone with enthusiasm what-ever your skills. We’re a friendly bunch of local Mums and Dads, who enjoy organising activities and events for our local community. We’d love to have more people on board so do get in touch on [email protected] if you’re in-terested. Turn to page 28 to find out why some of the present committee got in-volved, and what they enjoy most about being part of the NCT.

mailto:[email protected]


RECENT EVENTS

A bit of pampering for Mum...

Local Mums and tots enjoy a special Pamper Event treat for Mother’s Day

Lucy Wrinn, and mini-manicures by Paula Macdonald from the Macdonald Beauty Room at the Maitlandfield Hotel in Had-dington. Emma Shields from Pot-tyemma was on hand to take chil-dren’s hand and foot im-prints, and Marion Ritchie was there to tempt Mums with goodies from Phoenix Cards and jewellery from Truly Madly Beads. Keeping the little ones entertained was Big Petes Magic Treatz with cunning card games and balloon-modelling, and Lorraine from Lori Creations who did some beautiful facepainting. We hope to organise other special events during the year at our regular Bumps, Babies and Toddler group - if you have ideas for events, do get in touch.

Local Mums were given a well-deserved treat for Mother’s Day with a special Pamper Event at our Bumps, Babies and toddler group in Haddington. Celebrated on the Thursday nearest the big day in March, lots of local Mums took the chance to take a bit of time out for themselves. Along with the usual tea and coffee, there were extra special baking treats on offer.

Treats for Mum contin-ued with relaxing mas-sages given by Gifford-based therapist

Mini-manicures from Paula Macdonald

Enthralled by magic tricks Facepainting from Lori Creations


WHAT’S ON IN EAST LOTHIAN



Looking for bargains?

If you are looking to sell items or are in search of bargains, look no further than NCT’s ever popular Nearly New Sale in Haddington on Saturday 3 May...

The rising cost of living and the tough economic climate means that many fami-lies are having to tighten their belts. Recent NCT research showed that one in two new parents had bought second hand baby or toddler items in the last six months and the majority were more likely to buy things such as baby or toddler clothes, toys, prams and high chairs, sec-ond-hand rather than new. Our next Nearly New Sale in the Corn Exchange in Haddington on Saturday 3 May is the ideal place to find top quality baby clothes, toys and equipment. Well-established and trusted by over 200,000 parents who visit them every year, NCT Nearly New Sales across the UK represent the best sales of excellent quality used baby and children’s items. With NCT sales every six months, East Lothian is no exception. Lots of local parents agree. Fiona Murrell from Dunbar said: ‘I’ve bought masses of toys, books,

clothes and baby equipment at the NCT sales over the years, and doing so enables me to give my kids more as it’s good quality, but way less than half price! Helping out is great fun too and it’s re-warding to know that it’s in aid of a great charity. And this time I’ll be the one be-hind the table as I’ve already booked my spot, and am looking forward to selling stuff on so others can benefit from them too.’ Similarly, Gill Ball from Haddington said: ‘I just love the Nearly New Sales;; discovering items I never know I needed for my two boys. You can find some amazing bargains often in fantastic condition.’ Entry to the sale is just £1 (with children going free). Plus there is a cake stall, de-signed to tempt you with delicious home baking and tea/coffee whilst you browse. Equally, if you are looking to sell baby or children’s goods that you no longer need, then why not book a table, with prices from just £18, and ensure that your items go to a good home and make some cash at the same time. A limited number of tables are still available as we go to print - see opposite for details. ‘NCT Nearly New Sales are a simple idea, with so many benefits’, said Mhairi Christie, Nearly New Sale Coordinator. ‘Some parents sell items they no longer need, others hunt for bargains, and whether you’re buying, selling or both, you can be sure you’re helping to support other parents in East Lothian by funding NCT charity’s vital work.’

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With their relaxed and friendly style, you probably already know that NCT Signature antenatal courses are famous for the friendships that grow as new

mums and dads prepare for one of life’s most wonderful transitions. So after the birth of your baby, there are playmates for them and a ready-made social and

new-parent support network for you.

In East Lothian, we run approximately five antenatal courses each year. Each course usually consists of four or five sessions on Saturday afternoons in

Pencaitland. From time to time, however, we do offer a different format or time and sometimes classes run in other venues. For more detailed information on the

courses below, visit www.nct.org.uk/signature Dates of classes Due dates 26 Apr - 24 May 2014 Late June to mid August 28 June - 12 July 2014 Mid August to early Oct 16 Aug - 6 Sept 2014 Mid Oct to early Dec 1 Nov - 29 Nov 2014 Late Dec to mid Feb

To book, please email: [email protected] or call 0844 243 6994.


NEW ARRIVALS

NCT Antenatal class babies

Congratulations to all the couples who participated in our recent NCT antenatal class:

Parents Baby Date of Birth Joanne and Gary Cooper Peter Harris 23 Nov 13 Victoria and Graeme Aitken Chloe Aurora Balnaves 9 Jan 14 Ernesta Salciute and Mindaugas Kmieliauskas Rojus Kmieliauskas 9 Jan 14 Lesley and Cameron Anderson Glen Gordon 20 Jan 14 Sarah and Andrew Washbrook Bethan Natalie 29 Jan 14 Rebecca and Ben Thayer Jack Robertson 7 Feb 14


BIRTH STORY

Sam’s birth story

With baby number two on the way, Joyce and Shane Presley from Haddington were keen to have a home birth this time round...

When I fell pregnant with Sam and met the midwife for the first time, I explained that I was keen for a homebirth. I had planned for a homebirth in my first preg-nancy in 2009. We were at home for most of the labour (first and into the second stage) but in the end, my first son, Neal, was born at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. As it was my first birth, I was then quite happy to be looked after in hospital for a few days to get breastfeeding established (which I found more tricky than ex-pected). Neal’s birth was relatively short

(about 5 and half hours) and straightfor-ward and without any medical interven-tion, so I felt confident that I could plan for a homebirth second time around. To my delight, the midwives in Hadding-ton were very supportive of a home birth; more supportive than I had experienced in Edinburgh when I had Neal. I felt I was in good hands and felt even more confident. A friend of mine, who had successful homebirths with her children, recom-mended that I listen to some Hypno-Birthing affirmations and a special relaxa-tion meditation. I had read a Hypno-

Joyce holding baby Sam for the first time, in a birthing pool at home


BIRTH STORY helped me with breathing and taught me some comfortable movements to use dur-ing labour. My due date was 12 December 2013. As my first son was born a few days before his due date, I was expecting something similar second time round. I had a good experience with acupuncture sessions in 2009 with an Edinburgh based therapist and therefore I booked myself some ses-sions in late November and early Decem-ber. I felt that three sessions of acupunc-ture would help me in having a shorter labour and a natural birth. My parents were due to come on 8 De-cember (for two weeks) and I was hoping my baby would arrive around 12 Decem-ber. I didn’t want to ‘wait’ for baby with my parents around me for too long. On 13 December in the middle of the

Birthing book in 2009 and had practised some focusing techniques then, so I was aware that HypnoBirthing can be a pow-erful tool both before and during labour. (For more information on HypnoBirthing, see the panel on page 17).

I started to listen to the ‘Hypno-tunes’ a few months before my due date, every day and at least once a day. I listened every night before going to sleep and the ‘tunes’ helped me to relax and sleep well. As in my first pregnancy, I also partici-pated in antenatal yoga classes and prac-tised some of the exercises at home; this

‘I was aware that HypnoBirthing can be a powerful tool both before and during labour’


BIRTH STORY

night, I felt that things were happening and we phoned the midwife. After a few hours, however, the contractions stopped and although I was one centimetre di-lated, nothing further happened. On the days that followed, we enjoyed ourselves. I had an evening out with friends one night, and on the Sunday, we had a lovely walk in North Berwick. I started to feel vague sensations around my lower back that day and needed to move my hips frequently for comfort. My mum reassured me that baby was on its way soon. In the middle of that night (16 Decem-ber), I woke up with sensations around my lower back and what I thought were contractions. I got up and went down-stairs. By then it was about 2.30am and the contractions were more defined and regular, about every four to six minutes. My midwife had suggested that I should phone her if contractions were about seven minutes apart; she expected me to have a short birth this time (as my first birth was relatively quick). I timed the

contractions for the next half an hour. Then at around 3am, I went upstairs to wake up my hus-band Shane, and told him we should phone the midwife. I was coping alright, just focusing on the breathing with every con-traction. We went down-

stairs to the room we had prepared for the birth. The

birthing pool (which was preheated and ready for use when I needed it) was there and I started to walk around the room and eat sweets for energy. I also put on the HypnoBirthing ‘tunes’ so I could listen to these during labour. Shane lit candles and made sure the room felt all calm and cosy. At about 3.35am, one of the midwives arrived and she prepared her notes and saw I was coping quite well. Not long after her arrival, she wanted to check how far I was dilated and she was a bit sur-prised to feel I was already eight centime-tres! She therefore felt I was ready to get into the pool. The water was lovely and soothing. I was able to use the sides of the pool for sup-port during the contractions that had now got more intense as we progressed. Shane was rubbing my back and stayed calm throughout. A second midwife then ar-rived, but she kept herself in the back-ground. At one point, I asked the first midwife: ‘How long to go now?’ and she replied: ‘You’re the one who can tell.’

Proud brother Neal with baby Sam, aged 8 weeks


BIRTH STORY

She encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing. Not long after this, I could feel the baby’s head. I knew I just had to wait for the next contraction and my baby would arrive.

And so it happened. Baby Sam was born at 4.31am. I caught him myself and brought him straight onto my chest. I felt truly amazing, so happy that we had achieved the water-birth I had hoped for! We waited for the cord to stop pulsating, then Shane cut the cord. We stayed in the pool until the placenta was delivered

about 20 minutes later. We then came out of the pool and wrapped in towels, we rested on the sofa together with Shane. We had some tea and toast and were just in a state of bliss. Around 6am, our son Neal woke up and came downstairs won-dering where we were and was amazed to see the baby was out of my tummy! At 7am, we sent Neal back upstairs to tell his grandparents the big news! My par-ents were also surprised because they had not heard a thing, which was great. I am very happy that I can look back on a very positive birthing experience and I am grateful for the positive attitude of the local midwives, the HypnoBirthing tech-niques, the birthing pool and other re-sources that made the birth so natural and peaceful.

‘I felt truly amazing, so happy that we had achieved the water-birth I had hoped for!’

What is HypnoBirthing®? Having a comfortable, relaxing birth is a top priority for all mums-to-be. The Hypno-Birthing Childbirth method is as much a philosophy of birth as it is a technique for achieving a satisfying, relaxing and stress-free birth. HypnoBirthing teaches you, along with your birthing companion, a way of experiencing birth in a more comfortable manner. Through this method, you will learn to call upon your body’s own natural relaxant and potentially lessen or eliminate discomfort and the need for mediation. When a woman is properly prepared for childbirth, and when mind and body are in harmony, nature is free to function in the same well-designed manner that it does with all creatures. HypnoBirthing classes teach self-hypnosis/deep relaxation and breathing techniques, birth positions, the power of visualisation and the basic physiology of birth. Classes in-clude an official HypnoBirthing manual and CD, which contains two tracks. The first is a track of birth affirmations which can be listened to at any time. It consists of a series of positive statements about birth and adds to the HypnoBirthing experience by gently sug-gesting positive beliefs about birth into your mind. The second track ‘The Rainbow Re-laxation’ is a relaxation session that can be practiced often. It is especially designed to help you to teach your body and mind to drift smoothly and swiftly into the kind of re-laxation you will call upon during your birthing. Put simply, HypnoBirthing can offer women a better birthing experience. As a result, many mothers find birth empowering and life-changing - something that carries over into their new role as a mother, and often instils a greater confidence in other areas of their life too.


Sharing the responsibility...

Shared parental leave may not be the norm just now but it’s expected to become more popular in the future. Neil and Christina Lambert explain why it has worked for them...

Neil's story We’d always planned to make parenthood something we took on equally. Taking additional paternity leave seemed like the least I could do. So when Christina re-turned to work last November after seven months’ maternity leave, I set aside my work as an architect at a small Edinburgh practice and embarked upon three months full-time caring for our daughter Issy. ‘You’ll be an expert at changing nappies by the end!’ grinned a colleague.

SPECIAL FEATURE

‘I should blooming well hope so,’ I re-plied, given that I’d been doing it for seven months already at this point. But while I could take pride in my equita-ble sharing of Sudocrem duty so far, this would be the first time I’d had sole responsibility for Issy for more than a few hours. And it was quite simply one of the best things I’ve ever done. Yes, it was hard at times; there were difficult days where it was a straight contest to see who could be

Neil and Christina, pictured in Dirleton with their daughter, Issy (aged 11 months)


building my days around the likes of Bookbug and Bumps and Babies. I would regularly meet up with other par-ents to hang out in the kids’ section of the library, to go for coffee and cake, go on trips to the beach, or just to crash out ex-hausted at each other’s houses while the babies did all the talking for us. It helped that I’d gone to the antenatal classes with Christina and got to know other parents through them, so it wasn’t like being the new kid in town and having to make friends afresh. I’d been working part-time already so had been able to attend the daytime classes, but from the low male turnout, it struck me that other dads-to-be hadn’t been so fortunate;; I’d had an advantage that would definitely help when it came to my paternity leave. As an aside, if you’re an expectant dad, I’d strongly recommend getting along to antenatal classes, what-ever your plans are. The absence of other dads during my time on paternity leave was difficult to ignore. I was regularly the only male parent at organised activities, except for the occa-sional grandpa taking turns to help out. This wasn’t a problem for me;; I’ve long had as many female friends as male and am at ease in female company. And I was never made to feel any less than wel-come, with activity organisers often going out of their way to make sure I was in-cluded, comfortable and looked-after. But it did shed harsh light on the overwhelm-ingly gendered way in which our society apparently still divides responsibility for parenting and work. I had to remind my-self frequently that it was 2013 and not 1983. Although the days could be long the weeks flew by, and all too soon the three months were nearly up. Issy started her

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the most exhausted, bewildered and tear-ful (the baby usually won, although it was often close). But there were plenty of blissful days, with the simple fact of being able to spend whole days with the most amazing little person in the world, not having to worry about being anywhere else, and the wonderful feeling of getting to know each other and building a loving relationship, more than outweighing the challenging days.

‘Your boss must love you,’ smirked a friend when I told him about our plans. But in actual fact my work were wonder-ful and supportive throughout. Although I was the first in my firm to take advantage of the new arrangements, a couple of female colleagues had re-cently taken maternity leave, and my boss made it clear that he would not treat my additional paternity leave any differently. My leave was booked, and arrangements made to cover my absence, without ques-tions or fuss. Perhaps naively when I started out I en-tertained notions of blogging here and there, of taking photographs and getting lots of reading done. But pretty soon the reality struck just how full-time a job it is to be a stay-at-home parent. I quickly learned to lower my expecta-tions of selfish ‘free time’, put grand plans on hold and instead embrace living in a little person’s moment. Having initially approached the myriad activities for parents and babies in our small town with scepticism, I found my-self looking forward to them, and enjoyed

‘Pretty soon, the reality struck just how full-time a job it is to be a stay-at-home parent’


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settling-in sessions at nursery and I was left nervously painting the living room to pass the few hours each day she was away. I returned to work at the start of February this year and settled back into the old and the new routine quickly, and at nine in the morning it could feel like nothing had changed. But at home it had made the world of difference. Being primary carer for three months has given me a huge confidence boost in my parenting abilities - I know Issy's routine as well as Chris-tina does and am as likely to work out why she's crying as her. And Christina's confidence in my parenting has been boosted. Coming out of it we're a lot closer to par-ity, and we feel like we can move on from here on a more even keel. Issy is half my responsibility. It's as much my job to make sure her lunch is ready for nursery and we have enough nappies in as it is Christina's. Above all, I'm now closer to my daughter - we got to know each other better over the three months, laughed and played together, and she's now (almost) as likely to call for me as she is her mum. It was just the greatest fun for both of us - and now I'm back to work four days a week, the fun continues on my 'Daddy Mondays'. Christina's story I don't remember deciding we were going to share parental leave. For us it was a given, something that had been estab-lished long before we decided to start trying for a baby. We had a precedent - my oldest friend had a baby a year before us, and she and her husband shared their leave - so we had seen it work in practice. And for a couple who'd always tried to have a fairly equal relationship - two

careers and the housework halved - it made sense. Practically, it couldn't quite be an even split. I wanted to breastfeed Issy for six months, and allow enough time to smoothly introduce the bottle, so we de-cided I'd go back at seven months. Neil received what was left of my statutory maternity pay - two months - and we were just able to afford one month un-paid.

Before handing over, I drafted a worried looking Neil comprehensive timetables in several different colours of ink - Issy was taking to solids like a duck to water but still having milk feeds and three naps a day so there was barely a minute un-scheduled - and tried on all of my work-ing wardrobe to figure out what still fitted. Returning to work is a nerve wracking and emotionally charged time for any new mum, but I have to say for me it was easier than most. Yes, I was leaving my baby - but with her Dad, someone who loved her as much as me and who she knew and trusted. I still ran out of the office and off my train at the end of the day at first - but on the days I was really missing Issy, Neil would email me a photo at lunchtime. Issy would welcome me home with smiles, all her limbs wav-ing at once with excitement. On the bad days, Neil was scarcely less happy to see me. Neil's confidence with Issy grew hugely as well. He's always been a hands-on Dad, but suddenly at the weekend, he would be as likely to spot that it was nap

‘Returning to work is a nerve wrack-ing time for any new mum, but for me, it was easier than most’


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time or notice an ominous smell as me. He was as likely to be able to settle Issy during the night as me, or to make her giggle. Neil had always taken me seriously when I'd talked about just how full on a day at home with a small baby could be, but I did tease him slightly at the end of his first week when he said he was knackered and couldn't believe what physically hard work it could be. There might have been a slightly wry 'I know' before I topped up his wine. Of course there were harder moments. I went back to work four days a week, and I'm lucky to love my job and it can be fairly frantic at times, which stops me dwelling on missing Issy. But Neil would text me to say he was having a coffee with 'my' friends or send me pictures of the babies playing and I would sometimes Christina with Issy, aged four months


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feel it should have been me there. And the changes in Issy between seven and ten months saw her become her own little person, with her own likes and dislikes and babbling stories to tell.

Part of me does think Neil did get a slightly easier shift - although to be fair, he never got to just go back to bed with Issy, snoozing and feeding all morning, like I did in the early days! And if I'm honest, I appreciate Issy a lot more on the three days I am home. Now Neil's back at work and we're trying to find out what the 'new normal' is - both working four days and splitting the child-care between us. Neil's time as a stay-at-home-Dad has really helped that, even though it was a relatively short period.

He's been in charge - for three months it was his job to pack the change bag if he wanted to leave the house, and he can't unlearn that now! We're both equally confident parents, equally able to take care of Issy, and she's equally happy with both of us. Of course, I'm her mother, and there is a different and special bond there, which nothing can change. She does calm down slightly more quickly if I'm holding her after a nightmare, and occasionally tries to jump from Neil's arms to mine shout-ing 'Mama'. I'd be lying if I claimed not to love that. Sharing parental leave hasn't altered that in any way. When you have a baby, you're astounded to find you don't love your partner or family any less, but more love appears from nowhere for this new little person. It turns out the same applies to Issy - I'm still just as much 'Mama', it's just she has more 'Da-dy!' as well.

How does shared parental leave work? Parents are currently able to take a total of 52 weeks off work after having a baby or adopting. Mothers can hand some of their leave over to fathers, but only when the child is 20 weeks old. Under new rules unveiled in 2013, due to come into force in October 2014*, a mother could choose to return to work more quickly and hand over her unused allowance to the father. They could even switch back if they choose. Fathers will still be entitled to their two weeks’ paternity leave straight after the child’s birth. Commenting on the new rules, Business Minister, Jo Swinson said: ‘Thanks to extensive discussions with business and family groups, we have found a workable approach to shared parental leave. We want to shatter the perception that it is mainly a woman’s role to stay at home and look after the child and a man’s role to be at work. Employers too can gain from a system which allows them to keep talented women in the workforce and have more motivated and productive staff.’ For more information, visit www.gov.uk/government/publications/shared-parental-leave-and-pay-draft-legislation or visit the NCT website (www.nct.org.uk/parenting/work-and-childcare and www.nct.org.uk/parenting/flexible-working). * In March 2014, the Children and Families Act 2014 was given Royal Assent, meaning parents and adopters will be able to share the care of their child following its birth or placement from April 2015. The legislation will come into force in October 2014.

‘For three months it was his job to pack the change bag and he can’t unlearn that now!’


How about getting involved?

NCT East Lothian is on the look out for new volunteers, to help us continue with the events and activities we run for local parents

VOLUNTEERING FEATURE

Just some of NCT East Lothian’s volunteers at the Family Fun Day in August 2012

The East Lothian branch is run entirely by volunteers. We organise a range of events throughout the year, including Nearly New Sales, First Aid courses, Pamper afternoons, Pub quizzes, a big Family Fun Day, a Christmas ceilidh, and of course our regular Bumps, Babies and Toddler group in Haddington. The more volun-teers we have, the more we can do, and the more fun it is for those involved. Volunteering enables you to meet other local parents and do something worth-while to make a difference for other new parents. It’s a great way to utilise your skills - perhaps you are a budding writer, event organiser or have experience in fundraising, websites or graphic design?

Or perhaps you just like meeting new people and giving something back to your community? If you’re on maternity leave or are cur-rently a stay-at-home Mum (or Dad!), it’s also a great way to use your professional brain and add experience to your CV. If you have ever thought about volunteer-ing - for however much or as little time as you want to give and in whatever capacity suits you best - then now is the time to do something about it. Lots of people think about volunteering but don’t get round to it, so why not get in touch to find our more. By getting involved, you’ll help NCT East Lothian continue to make a difference to parents locally.

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What has volunteering given you? For me, the main benefit from volunteer-ing has been the fantastic people that I have met along the way. I have made many good friends from those involved in the branch to other students and tutors during my postnatal training. Volunteering has also enabled me to fur-ther my education and make me recon-sider a career that fits in with my family.

What have you enjoyed most? There have been many rewarding mo-ments, from finally qualifying as a Post-natal Leader to seeing a full, lively Bumps and Babies group with mums and babies enjoying some time out. There have been fun times too, from really interesting NCT Scotland regional days where you get to hear some great speakers discuss issues surrounding birth and early parenthood and of course get to meet other volunteers from across Scotland. The committee meetings can also be a good excuse to nip out in the evenings (sometimes with little babies in tow) and have a catch up, cuppa and bit of cake! Why should others get involved? Volunteering for the branch can be a fan-tastic way to meet up other new parents. It is so rewarding when an event such as the Nearly New Sale, Family Fun Day, Pub Quiz, or Bumps and Babies group is a success and knowing that your involve-ment has helped to make it happen.


Three current volunteers share their ex-periences of volunteering with the East Lothian branch: Larraine Rettie, Postnatal Leader Larraine has been involved since 2005. She and her husband, Kevin, have three boys, Calum (9), Ethan (7) and Archie (5). What motivated you to become involved? I attended NCT antenatal classes during my first pregnancy and had such a posi-tive experience of the NCT. The antenatal teacher inspired me to consider the possi-bility of a home birth, which I was so thankful for. I also made some great friends with the other parents, which was a real lifesaver, especially in the early few months. What roles have you taken on? To begin with I volunteered as branch newsletter editor when my first baby was about a year old. The role was really in-teresting and gave me something else to focus on other than feeding and changing nappies! At the same time, the branch decided to try and restart the Bumps and Babies group, so I helped to set up the new group. It was a great success and quite a few of the mums volunteered to help out on the committee which was fantastic. It was around this time that I began to think about training with the NCT as a Postnatal Leader.

‘The committee meetings can also be a good excuse to nip out in the eve-nings, have a catch up and a cuppa’

‘For me, the main benefit from volunteering has been the fantastic people that I have met along the way’


Jane Short, Co-Branch Coordinator and Newsletter Editor Jane has been involved since 2009. She and her husband, Doug, have two chil-dren, Ben (4) and Emily (11 months) What motivated you to become involved? My husband and I took part in NCT ante-natal classes back in 2009 and had such a great experience, and gained some very close friends. Keen to meet other local Mums, I went along to Bumps and Babies when my son was just a few weeks old. A number of the branch committee at the time were looking to step down as their children were now older, so a few of us agreed to go along to an Extraordinary General Meeting. There was a real buzz about the meeting and lots of us got in-volved. What roles have you taken on? Initially I took on the role of Assistant Treasurer, which I still hold, but I soon learnt that the post of Newsletter Editor was vacant and therefore I was delighted to take on the challenge, given my back-ground in marketing and communica-tions. I relished the opportunity to de-velop it into a full colour newsletter with


significant revenue created through ad-vertising. I’ve also been very involved in a number of events, not least the annual Family Fun Day which we first held in 2010. We’ve grown it each year and although it in-volves lots of hard graft and late nights, it has been so rewarding to be part of it. Most recently, when the previous Branch Coordinator stepped down, I took on the role of Co-Branch Coordinator with Mhairi. What has volunteering given you? In the early days, I particularly enjoyed meeting other Mums and having some-thing in common other than talking about sleeping, feeding or nappies! Apart from the friendships, I’ve really enjoyed using my brain too – particularly whilst on ma-ternity leave – and feeling a real sense of shared satisfaction when an event goes well. It can certainly be said that NCT has been a big and very enjoyable part of my life since becoming a Mum! What have you enjoyed most? Although I’ve now produced over ten newsletters now, I still get a real sense of achievement when the boxes are deliv-ered by the courier company and I see them in print. And seeing a parent reading one when I’m out and about. It does sometimes feel a bit like my third child! Why should others get involved? It really is a great way to meet other like-minded people, and having something to share other than talking about our chil-dren (although we do that too!). I could never have predicted when I first got in-volved, that I’d gain so much from volun-teering and would be up for taking on the joint role of Branch Coordinator!



Mhairi Christie, Co-Branch Coordinator and Nearly New Sale Coordinator Mhairi has been involved since 2013. She and her husband, Stuart, have two chil-dren, Ross (4) and Amy (2). What motivated you to become involved? The previous Branch Coordinator, Caro-line, asked me to help out with reformat-ting the Nearly New Sales and as I par-ticularly enjoy these kind of markets, I thought I would give it a try. The fact it also helps such a great charity is an added bonus! What roles have you taken on? The first project I was involved in was

helping at the Family Fun Day last Au-gust. Then, in what seemed like a short time after that, I was one of the organisers of the new style table-top Nearly New Sale last November, which I enjoyed im-mensely. Since then, I have become Co-Branch Coordinator with Jane and had my first Christmas night out since becom-ing a full-time housewife four years ago! What has volunteering given you? A sense of achievement really. I worked in IT previously so organising events has taken me completely out of my comfort zone, but it’s good to do that once in a while. What have you enjoyed most? I have enjoyed it all really but I think organising the Nearly New Sale was my highlight. As the sale was in a new for-mat, there were quite a few tasks to do. So, by the end of the sale day, although I felt tired, there was also a huge sense of achievement that comes with organising such a large event. Why should others get involved? You need a break when you look after children all day and being part of some-thing like this helps to give you a focus outside of family life. It’s also a great way of meeting new people and giving you a new circle of friends.

WANT TO FIND OUT MORE? If you’d like to find out more about contributing to the NCT as a volunteer, please get in touch with our Branch Coordinators, Jane Short and Mhairi Christie, on [email protected]. Why not come along to one of our committee meetings to meet the team, ask about particular roles which are currently vacant, or join us for our informal Annual Meeting (over a drink in the pub!). The date and venue will be con-firmed shortly on our Facebook page - just find us under NCT East Lothian. We’d love to hear from you!


Breastfeeding groups There are a number of breastfeeding sup-port groups around the county run by a trained midwife or health visitor. Expec-tant mums, mothers and babies are wel-come at all groups. These groups offer an opportunity to discuss breastfeeding and other issues with fellow breastfeeding mums. You do not need to have a breast-feeding problem to attend these groups. Haddington Breastfeeding Group Newtonport Clinic, Newton Port, Haddington, EH41 3NA Tel: 0131 536 8304 Sally McGonigal 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of every month; 12.30-1.30pm

Prestonpans Breastfeeding Group The Library, West Loan, Prestonpans, EH32 9NX, Tel: 01875 818594 Every Thursday, 9.30-10.15am Dunbar Breastfeeding Group Dunbar Medical Centre, Queens Rd Dunbar, EH42 1EE Tel: 01368 863704/01368 861447 Every Tuesday, 1.30-2.30pm Gullane Breastfeeding Group Gullane Medical Centre, Hamilton Road Gullane, EH31 2HP Every Tuesday 11am - 12 noon Musselburgh Breastfeeding Group Musselburgh Primary Care Centre, Inveresk Road, Musselburgh, EH21 7PB Tel: 0131 446 4216 Jannette Hunter Every Monday, 1pm - 2.30pm For more information and any changes to the timings of the above groups, visit www.feedgoodfactor.org.uk Lothian breastfeeding clinics If you have seen your midwife, health visiting team or GP, and your breastfeed-ing problem isn’t getting better, you can ask to be referred to any of the following clinics, or you can just turn up: East Lothian Breastfeeding Clinic Newtonport Clinic, Newtonport, Haddington, EH41 3NF Wednesdays 9am - 11am

Looking for breastfeeding support?

If you are new to breastfeeding or just looking for some one to one support, there are a range of local networks to help you

SUPPORT


SUPPORT

Simpson Breastfeeding Clinic Simpson Centre, RIE, EH16 4SA Mondays 10am - 12 noon Leith Breastfeeding Clinic Leith Community Treatment Centre, EH6 5JQ Tuesdays 12.30-2.30pm St John’s Breastfeeding Clinic St John’s Hospital, EH54 6PP Wednesdays 10am-12noon Tollcross Breastfeeding Clinic Tollcross Health Centre, Ponton Street, EH3 9QQ Fridays 9-11am Visit www.nhslothian.scot.nhs.uk and enter ‘breastfeeding’ into the search field for more information.

Breastfeeding peer supporters Breastfeeding peer supporters are local volunteer mums trained by health profes-sionals, to offer new breastfeeding moth-ers practical help, emotional support and encouragement. For more information, contact your midwife or health visitor. NCT helpline Call 0300 330 0700 for support and infor-mation if you have questions regarding breastfeeding as well as all other aspects of pregnancy and birth. NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor Kirsty Nicol is NCT’s East Lothian Breastfeeding Counsellor. She can be contacted by email on [email protected] and may be able to provide support or offer other options.

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