Dr. O’Connor’s English 101: Introduction to Composition Fall 2014

English 101NB (CRN 12665) Tues. and Thurs. 2:30-3:45 pm, N202 English 101EA1 (CRN 12954) Tues. and Thurs. 5:30-7:50 pm, N202

Syllabus; Writing Advice Packet Table of Contents

Regulations and Policies……………………………………………….……...2 Semester Schedule of Readings and Writings………………………….……8 About Writing Essays……………………………………………….………...11 Essay Rubrics……………………………………………………….…………12 Checklist for Essay Submission………………………………………………13 From Notes to Revision: Sample Student Essay ………….………………...14 Topics for Paper 1……………………………………………………………..21 Topics for Papers 2-5……..………………………………………………...…22 Documented Essay Workshop………………………………………………..26 Explanation of Papers 6 and 7………………………………………………..27 Documented Essay Criteria Sheet……………………………………………30 Thesis Statements.……………………………….…………………….……....31 Writing Topic Sentences…………………………….…………….…….…....35 Appendix: Transitions…………………………………………………………………….37

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Eng. 101: Introduction to Composition VERY IMPORTANT: AT NO TIME DURING OUR CLASS CAN YOU USE ANY ELECTRONIC DEVICES WITHOUT PERMISSION FROM ME DURING CLASS TIME. IF A STUDENT USES ANY ELECTRONIC DEVICE WITHOUT PERMISSION FROM ME DURING CLASS TIME, HE

OR SHE WILL BE EJECTED PERMANENTLY FROM CLASS.

Dr. Fran O'Connor ENGLISH DEPARTMENT: 572-7185; Press 0; dial Ext. 2-5662 EMAIL: Fran.OConnor@ncc.edu WEBPAGE: http://faculty.ncc.edu/Default.aspx?alias=faculty.ncc.edu/oconnof MAILBOX: Bradley Hall Y20 PUT ANY CORRESPONDENCE UNDER THE NAME O’CONNOR OFFICE HOURS: Tues./Thurs. 4-5:15 pm and by appointment. OFFICE: Y 210/211 MATERIAL REQUIREMENTS: Computer: MS Word Access to a printer A stapler Pens, pencils, highlighters Notebook A folder for papers and Xeroxed materials Our textbook All Course Packets

REQUIRED BOOKS AND MATERIALS: They Say, I Say Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein-Graff, 3E All Course Packets: Main (Yellow) Reading (Gray) Documented Essay (Blue) READINESS FOR ENGLISH 101: If you have not passed English 030 or 001, you MUST drop English 101 and take English 030 or 001 again. If you dislike reading and writing and tend to avoid assignments that require both, I encourage you to seriously rethink your enrollment in a class that requires substantial preparation on your part.

ENG. 101 COURSE GOALS:

• To strengthen the ability to analyze texts, • To write coherent and cohesive responses to texts, • To engage actively in the art of revision.

WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR FINAL GRADE, THE FOLLOWING ITEMS ARE VERY IMPORTANT:

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Ø Class Discussion and Participation (10%) means asking appropriate and pertinent reading and discussion-centered questions, initiating discussions, paying careful attention to your classmates and me, taking notes, following instructions, engaging enthusiastically in group work.

Class discussion is NOT sitting passively waiting for the class to be over; verbally agonizing over your own standing or progress in the class during actual class time; monopolizing or dominating class discussion; being passive during group work; bringing up inappropriate topics during class time; engaging in distracting or self-absorptive behavior, or asking questions of and/or chatting with classmates outside of group work.

Ø All papers (10%, with exception of the documented essay) must be submitted on time.

Ø Quizzes (10%) must be done in class. There are no makeups for quizzes.

Ø Attendance is defined as attending class from start to finish, that is, the entire 75-minute period. ONLY FOUR ABSENCES ARE ALLOWED. MORE THAN A TOTAL OF FOUR (4)) LATE ENTRIES AND EARLY EXITS FROM CLASS RESULTS IN AT LEAST ONE, IF NOT TWO, ABSENCES.

GRADES AND POINT VALUES:

• 50%: Papers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 are worth 10% apiece. • 20%: Papers 6 &7: the Documented Essay • 10%: Quizzes • 10%: Documented Essay Workshop • 10%: Group Work, Verbal Participation

For your information, ONLY A, B+, B, C+, or C transfer. However, D and D+ do carry credit.

Classroom Environment: Please respect your fellow students and me: attend class, arrive on time, and do not partake in disruptive behavior. Please read the particulars below.

*ATTENDANCE POLICY AND RESPONSIBILITY FOR MISSED CLASSES: Four absences are permitted – there are no “excused” or “unexcused” absences for my class – an absence is an absence. A missed class can only be made up by attending the other section I teach: more on this in class. If you cannot do that, you have to take the absence. You’d be wise to get the telephone numbers/email addresses of your fellow classmates so you can catch up if you miss class. Call a classmate, preferably someone who attends class frequently if not constantly.

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*LATENESS/LEAVING EARLY: I don’t need to know why you are late or why you are leaving early unless either of these develops into a chronic problem. Please make sure these two events happen rarely, if at all. If you are leaving early, please signal to me as I sometimes take attendance at the end of class. Remember, more than a total of four (4)) late entries and early exits from class results in at least one, if not two, absences.

*CLASS PARTICIPATION: Required. Even our NCC catalog requires enthusiastic participation, which means active on your end. Please make sure to respond to the readings or to class discussion aloud in class during each meeting. Ask questions. Take the lead during group work.

COMMUNICATION BY EMAIL:

• Unfortunately, I cannot accept papers submitted online. All papers must be handed in in print versions and during the class in which they are due.

• Expect updates for our course via MYNCC email. Please make sure that you not only enable your NCC account but that you check it at least once a day. The email that comes to you will look something like this: 12662@lists.ncc.edu. You would be wise to read all email messages that come from “lists@ncc.edu.”

• It would be very helpful if you observe conventional spelling, capitalization, etc. when you text or email your professors. I find text speak incredibly hard to follow and quite annoying. Example of text speak:

prof. how r u, whats up wit the paper due this week? LOL

I can’t even begin to respond to this and have zero desire to do so.

How to fix text speak:

Dear Prof. O’Connor: I’m not sure I understand Topic 1 for the paper due Thurs., Sept 23rd. What exactly do you mean by “analyze the following ideas”?

Thank you very much,

Diego (from Eng. 101ND)

My Website At http://faculty.ncc.edu/Default.aspx?alias=faculty.ncc.edu/oconnof, you’ll find your course listed as well as Web Resources for Eng. 101 (right on the main page) and, to the left of the Web Resources, Eng 101. Click on that to take you to my Eng. 101 page where you can download some of the handouts for the course. Certainly use the link on the main page to contact me. If I must cancel class, I will post it on this page as early as I can and will notify you through the class list (see above).

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Paper composition and submission: All papers are due on time. You need to observe all of the conventions associated with college-level paper composition when submitting your papers in this class. These can be found in the Course Apparatus Packet. It goes without saying that ALL papers submitted MUST be typed, double-spaced, and STAPLED. I WILL NOT ACCEPT LOOSE SHEETS AS A “PAPER.” A WORD ABOUT DEVICES AS “AIDS” IN COMPOSITION: More and more, students are informing me that they “do” their papers on their phones. While some students probably can produce some kind of intelligible text on their phones, composing an entire paper without the full access to MS Word is very limiting on many levels. Indeed, even composing essays on tablets limits students’ options and access to a full program designed to maximize their success as writers. In short, use a laptop or desktop computer with MS Word, preferably the newest version.

VIP: I will lower the grade on papers that use text speak.

REWRITES: I will indicate rewrites with an R in a circle. Many times students take the wrong turn in a paper as they’re learning how to write academic essays. A little extra motivation on your part and instruction on my part may result in a better, more focused, paper from you. Please see me briefly about the rewrite before you embark on it. Also, you must submit the rewrites along with the original paper. Revisions submitted without the originals will not be graded. GRAMMATICAL AND GENERAL WRITING INSTRUCTION: Eng. 101 assumes that entering students can write a basic essay with an introduction containing a thesis, a discernible pattern of organization, clear paragraphing with use of transitions, developed ideas with clear and relevant examples, and a conclusion that does NOT merely restate the introduction. If you suspect you might need help with essay writing, go to the Writing Center, which is free and run by professional tutors who are only too happy to help you write better. The Writing Center is in the Y building, where my office is also located.

QUIZZES: I will administer quizzes periodically to make sure everyone does the reading. Quizzes are worth 15% of your overall grade. Quizzes can be made up only during a concurrent class. They cannot be “made up” in classes that are not concurrent. ACADEMIC HONESTY AND PLAGIARISM: By enrolling in Nassau Community College, you “assume an obligation to conduct yourselves in a manner compatible with the function of the College as an educational institution.” (Nassau Community College Catalog). Under Student Code of Conduct, a student can be suspended or expelled if he or she

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commits plagiarism or indulges in any form of academic dishonesty. ) I do not expect Eng. 101 students to be experts in documenting sources. I will review documentation during the course of the semester. After our class review of plagiarism, any student who plagiarizes any paper, including the documented essay, will receive an F for the course.

DEFINITION AND KINDS OF PLAGIARISM: Plagiarism is the unacknowledged use of somebody else's words or ideas and is considered an instance of academic dishonesty that instructors must report. You commit plagiarism by doing one or more of the following: • buying, stealing, or borrowing a paper from any source including the

Internet; • hiring someone to write a paper; • allowing someone to help you write the paper • building on someone's ideas without providing a citation; • copying from another source or using a source too closely when paraphrasing.

(This includes all material obtained from the Internet and WWW.) • abuse of sources (more on this in class).

In other words, submit only your own work. Turnitin.com will help you make sure that you have used sources not only correctly but professionally. In addition, please know that submitting work from one course to another course and submitting simultaneously are also against NCC’s Student Code of Conduct.

NON-NEGOTIABLE REASONS FOR PERMANENT EXPULSION FROM CLASS:

• Texting during class • Excessive lateness or early leaving • A fifth absence • A fourth failed quiz • Disruptive, inappropriate behavior Should you be removed from class, you need to make sure that you drop the class officially. Before Nov. 7th, you have the right to receive a Withdrawal with no penalty. After Nov. 7th, professors can refuse to give you a W, resulting in a UW (Unauthorized Withdrawal) or an F for the course. Regardless of when and why you left class, you need to bring a Drop/Add form to the professor in question for a signature. Please make sure to fill out the form accurately.

WHAT MIGHT AFFECT YOUR OVERALL SUCCESS IN THE COURSE is an undisclosed or unacknowledged disability. PLEASE take advantage of the Center for Students with Disabilities if you have a disability. PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING:

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If you have a physical, psychological, medical, or learning disability that may affect your ability to carry out the assigned coursework, I urge you to contact the staff at the Center for Students With Disabilities, Bldg. U (behind the old College Union), 572-7241. TTY 572-7617. CSD will review your concerns and determine with you what accommodations are necessary and appropriate. All information and documentation are confidential.

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Our Readings and Writing Schedule for the Course

The Q Word: The success of this class hinges on all of us doing the readings. I hate giving quizzes – it’s very stressful and it makes students anxious, but I have to do it to make sure people are reading the assigned material. There are readings before every class. Most of the readings are short (under 20 pages). You only have to demonstrate that you read the material on the quizzes. You will not be able to bluff your way through the quizzes, so if you didn’t do the reading “man” or “woman up,” write I did not do the reading on the quiz with your name and hand in the quiz to me. You have to leave the class for the day and take the F for the quiz. And… Don’t let yourself get to the magic number of failed quizzes as 4 quizzes mean expulsion from the class, and, remember, a fifth absence means expulsion from the class as well. Some advice: Readings in any new class are uncomfortable at first – it gets much easier as you go along. Put your efforts into doing all the work during the first week and I assure you reading the articles and chapters will get easier as you go along.

Tues 9/2: Introduction to the course. Handouts.

Thurs 9/4: Reading from They Say/I Say: Introduction: Entering the

Conversation (1-15). Introduction to argument. Discussion:

Mark Bittman: “Bad Food? Tax It, and Subsidize

Vegetables.” (Gray packet, p. 1-10) Assign first paper.

Tues 9/9: Reading from They Say/I Say: Part One: “They Say”:

Starting With What Others Are Saying (19-29). Do ex.

1(29) in class. Read Natasha Singer’s “Fixing a World That

Fosters Fat.” (Gray Packet, p. 11-14)

Thurs 9/11: Reading from They Say/I Say: “Her Point Is”: The Art of

Summarizing (30-41). Paper 1 due.

Tues 9/16: Reading from They Say/I Say: “As He Himself Puts It”:

The Art of Quoting (42-51) Read “Fat Tax” by David

Leonhardt. (Gray Packet, p. 15-18

Thurs 9/18: In-class exercise on summary: Bittman, Singer, Leonhardt.

Assign Paper 2 (Issues in Food)

Tues 9/23: Return Paper 1. Read Sara’s drafts in Main Packet. (17-

24)

Thurs 9/25: College Holiday: No Classes

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Tues 9/30: Reading: “A Girl’s Nude Photo, and Altered Lives” by Jan

Hoffman. (Gray Packet, p. 19-36)

Thurs 10/2: Reading from They Say/I Say: Part Two: “I Say”:

Yes/No/Okay, But: Three Ways to Respond (55-67). Read

Assorted Cartoons and “Turn Off the Phone (And the

Tension)” by Jenna Wortham. (Gray Packet, p. 37-43)

Paper 1 Revision due

Tues 10/7: Issues in Social Media: In-Class work. Paper 2 Due

Thurs 10/9: Readings from They Say/I Say: “And Yet”: Distinguishing

What You Say from What They Say (68-77); “IMHO”

(167-172.)

Tues 10/14: Reading from They Say/I Say: “Skeptics May Object”:

Planting a Naysayer in Your Text (78-91)

Thurs 10/16: Issues in Social Media; Discussion of Paper 4 (Issues in

Education)

Tues 10/21: Film

Thurs 10/23: Film

Tues 10/28: Brief discussion of film. Works Cited Instruction (Paper

3.)

Thurs 10/30: “So What? Who Cares?”: Saying Why It Matters (92-101).

Reading: “Checkers and Chess: What’s in a Game? The

Transition from High School to College” by David Johns.

(Gray, 44-46) WC1 Due

Tues 11/4: Film (Issues in Education) WC 2 Due

Thurs 11/6: Film. WC 3 Due (This is Paper 3). Discuss film.

Tues 11/11: College Holiday: No Classes

Thurs 11/13: Paper 4 Due/ Discussion of documented essay

Tues 11/19: Discussion of documented essay (Evening Activity Hour:

No 5:30 classes)

Thurs 11/20: Reading from They Say/I Say: “As a Result”: Connecting

the Parts (105-120). Reading: “Hidden Intellectualism” by

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Gerald Graff (in They Say/I Say, 244-251).

Mon 11/24: THURSDAY SCHEDULE: Discussion of Documented

Essay

Tues 11/25: Reading from They Say/I Say: “What’s Motivating This

Writer?”: Reading for the Conversation. Reading: “What

Message Does College for All Send?” by Chris Myers

Asche

Thanksgiving Break: 11/27-11/30

Tues 12/2: Documented Essay Topics due/Paper 5 due

Thurs 12/4: Sample Documented Essays (In Documented Essay Packet)

Tues 12/9: Documented Essay Workshop – P/F

Thurs 12/11: Sample Documented Essays (In Documented Essay Packet)

Tues 12/16: Last-minute Documented Essay Concerns

Thurs 12/18: Documented Essays Due (Papers 6 and 7 combined)

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About Writing Essays:

The best thing you can do is follow the advice laid out in our text, They Say, I Say and in my advice, mixed together below:

• You are entering a conversation: understand the basics of the debate and make sure to cite those basics early in your paper;

• This is a class in composition: to compose something is to figure out what one wants to say, how it should be said, and to whom it should be said. Composing comes in components: it doesn’t come all at once. Think, take a few notes, think some more, more notes: now you’re on your way.

• Composing something good means, after the text is written out, to select, reject, and shape a form that reflects you. Writing, adding to, and editing that form: do as you go along rereading and rewriting that form.

• Care about what you are saying. If you don’t give a shit about what you are saying, it will show. And I, as your main audience, won’t care either.

• I assign the text because I believe in what it says and I expect you to use the templates discussed and the advice that both the authors and I give you, so if you write a paper disregarding any or all of the advice and/or templates, expect to do badly on or fail the paper.

• Use the templates Graff and Birkenstein-Graff lay out; • Be respectful of your audience: please don’t use “you” and please don’t use

command form; • Temper your anger if you are angry; be mindful of sarcastic or condescending

tones in your draft: this paper is not a reply to something posted on a website nor is it a personal blog, tweet, or Facebook posting. Remember, compose yourself: you are a thoughtful writer.

• Be aware that this is a composition class, not necessarily a “get-it-right-on-the-first-draft” class, so if you get a paper back that you can revise (a B- or below or a paper with an R on it), take advantage of the chance to recompose the paper. Follow my instructions and seek help from The Writing Center as well.

• Set realistic expectations for yourself in terms of writing your papers: it’s important to hand in decent-to-good papers on time rather than waiting for inspiration to compose the greatest papers ever; it’s also NOT a good idea to slap something together to hand in on a due date, knowing you’ll be offered a revision. As I save all of my commentary on all papers, I will know the “slacker writers” in no time. And I will not look kindly upon them.

• One failed paper that you can’t or won’t (for whatever reason) revise does not mean a failing grade in this class. Please DO NOT disappear from class if your performance on papers isn’t good during the first month or so: please come talk to me – we might figure something out together, ok? It’s no fun taking Eng. 101 over again if you don’t have to.

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Essay Rubrics The levels below do not correlate exactly to letter grades. However, they do serve as guidelines for both students and teacher. The grades in the parentheses are approximate. Exceeding (B+ to A) Writer presents an easily identifiable, focused, original, and thought-provoking controlling purpose or thesis. The paper moves coherently, logically, and even creatively from an engaging introduction to a well-demonstrated conclusion. Paragraphs fit within this structure coherently and present pertinent examples and evidence to support central and subsidiary ideas. Sentence structure displays sophistication and variety; transitions add to the logical development of the topic. The essay exhibits a solid command of word variety and a tone and diction appropriate for the subject and its implied audience. Mechanics (grammar, punctuation, spelling, and documentation, if needed) are nearly flawless. Meeting (C to B) Writer presents an identifiable and focused controlling purpose or thesis. The paper moves coherently and logically from a satisfying introduction to a solid conclusion. Paragraphs fit within this structure and provide examples and evidence to support the ideas presented. For the most part, sentences are well constructed and transitions are sound--though the sequence of ideas may occasionally be awkward. The essay exhibits some degree of control over the tone and diction appropriate for the subject and its implied audience. Mechanics (grammar, punctuation, spelling, and documentation, if needed) are mostly accurate and rarely impede meaning. Approaching (D to C-) Writer presents a wandering, vague, or unfocused controlling purpose or thesis. The paper moves awkwardly from a weak introduction to a conclusion that does not adequately represent the body of the paper. Basic paragraphing exists, but often fails to support or even recognize a central idea, and the use of evidence and examples is inadequate. Sentence and paragraph transitions are often unclear, awkward, indirect, and/or illogical. Tone and diction are often inconsistent and/or inappropriate for the subject and its implied audience. Mechanics (grammar, punctuation, spelling, and documentation, if needed) are not well executed and may at times obscure meaning. Not Meeting (F to D) Writer fails to present a controlling purpose or thesis; consequently, it is difficult to identify exactly what the thesis is. The essay moves from an unsatisfactory introductory paragraph to an ending that does not serve as a conclusion, thus conveying the sense that much of what has been presented is unresolved. Sentence structure is often awkward, and transitions are ineffectual, abrupt, or simply missing. Diction, tone, and word choice are not appropriate for the subject or for the implied audience. Mechanics (grammar, punctuation, spelling, and documentation, if needed) disrupt reading and often obscure meaning.

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Checklist for Essay Submission (Except for Papers 3 and 5)

1. You need to summarize your argument in the essay. The summary needs to come early in

your essay and needs to be accurate. That means you have to understand your argument.

Read, reread, highlight the reading and try your best to break it down¶ by ¶.

2. Your discussion needs to be an argument where you present your main idea and

perspective in either the first ¶ or the second (if you have decided to open with an

anecdote or extended example.)

3. Should you decide to use any outside sources, you need to cite them directly in the text of

your paper. If you have figured out how to append a Works Cited page, before we

embark upon the instruction for Paper 3, and you do decide to use secondary sources,

please include a Works Cited for any paper that uses sources.

4. Your essay needs to be typed, double-spaced, stapled at the top left corner, with an

appropriate, eye-catching title. No cover page needed. Double-sided printed is fine.

5. NO text speak should appear in the paper.

6. Proofread your paper for grammatical errors, please.

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From Notes To Revision

Sarah has decided to write her paper on fast food, an area she knows something about. Though she is mindful about “proving” fast food is bad for us (duh!), she does want to talk about why many of us still eat fast food even though we know it’s bad for us. Here is her brainstorming: Fast food: It’s cheap It’s fast We love it Chemicals in it The pie chart for food: what’s on your plate? Lots of people don’t make a lot of money and they’re too busy to cook Documentaries and news reports about disgusting things in our food, but we feed it to our kids anyway People need to cook for themselves Notice that Sarah doesn’t have a main idea yet – she’s just jotted down some ideas. She decides that she’s done enough and can start a draft now. Her first version appears on the next page. She revises twice more. Please read all three drafts of Sarah’s paper and think about the following questions for class discussion on 9/23.

1. What is the issue Sarah is discussing?

2. Does Sarah have a thesis?

3. Does Sarah merely describe a problem or does she offer a solution?

4. The first draft is 3 ¶s long, not enough for a developed essay. The last version is 6 ¶s.

What are the specific additions Sarah includes in her third draft that aren’t there in her

first or second draft?

5. What kinds of proofreading changes happen from the first to the third draft? Cite some

here.

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Here is Sarah’s first attempt at the “Issues in Food” essay. Think about whether or not her

argument is successful.

Sarah B.

Eng. 101

3/17/13

What’s on your Plate?

Americans often live their lives at a fast pace. The average American works long hours

(roughly 5-7 days a week) to support a family. In today's economy more and more family’s

struggle every day to pay bills yet alone putting food on the table, but after a hard-days’ work

who has the time or energy to cook? The most reasonable solution in their eyes is to run to the

nearest fast food place or the most affordable restaurant. But after a filling meal the last thing that

crosses their mind is “what did I just eat?” and what will it do to my body? This is one of the

major issues in America, not being aware of what you’re eating and how it’s going to affect your

health. Being that the average Americans food fast solution is doing nothing but creating several

long-term problems such as heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure, it’s time for all of

America to stop and think “What’s on your plate”

Most Americans love fast food. Its quick, taste great, inexpensive and you get a large

amount, which is what people look for today in this economy, but do you ever wonder why you

don’t feel so great after? The amount of chemicals, fat, grease, calories, and mystery meat that

they just put inside your body is extremely hard to process especially if your body is not used to

it. Food today in America unless paid for the quality is unsafe and damaging. People are unaware

of the risks that they are taking by “saving money” because what they are not saving is their

life. Going to place like McDonald’s where a burger has the same amount of calories one should

intake in a day should already be an aspect that should make you second guess eating there. A

restaurant like Taco Bell where you’re not even eating 100% meat you’re eating about 60 and the

rest is chemicals that will harm your body and places like a diner where you have enough food for

2 days the meat most likely comes from 5000 different cows, and the vegetables aren’t always

washed. Delicious meals can sometimes be your last. The news tries to educate us by telling us

stories about children dying from food poisoning from eating a burger but that doesn’t stop us.

There are documentaries and articles to help educate us on what is in our food and why we

shouldn’t eat it what to buy and why, but it is considered too big of an effort then it would be to

order a fast food meal. People wonder that if this food is so horrible why is it available? That is

because we allow it; we pay for these establishments to remain and of course because of

Congress.

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The world is very diverse in several ways religion, clothing, culture, and are greatly

diversified by food. Most places in the world have longer life expectancy because of the food that

they eat, its natural, healthy, and home grown. It’s rare to find a fast food restaurant when in a

place such as Europe. Many places in the world are disgusted by the eating habits of Americans

and have every right to be. There are several sources that can help educate Americans about how

to eat well and cheap and the answer usually is to make your food yourself but the right way

(healthier meat and other ingredients), so when you’re wondering what is on my plate? You

actually know. Studies show that people who cook their own food with healthier ingredients live

a healthier lifestyle, don’t feel as sluggish and also save money! Now, who doesn’t want that?!

(To see how horrible fast food is in this country go on YouTube.com: Heart Attack Grill.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Here is Sarah’s second attempt at the “Issues in Food” essay. Think about whether or not her

argument is successful.

Sarah B.

Eng. 101 G4

3/17/13

What’s on your Plate?

Americans often live their lives at a fast pace. The average American works long hours

(roughly 5-7 days a week) to support a family. In today's economy more and more family’s

struggle every day to pay bills and to put food on the table, but after a hard-days’ work who has

the time or energy to cook? The most reasonable solution in their eyes is to run to the nearest fast

food place or the most affordable restaurant. But after a filling meal the last thing that crosses

their mind is “what did I just eat?” and “what will it do to my body”? This is one of the major

issues in America, not being aware of what we’re eating and how it’s going to affect our health.

Food fast is doing nothing but creating several long-term problems such as heart disease,

diabetes, and high blood pressure, and it’s time for all of America to stop and think “What’s on

your plate” ?

Most Americans love fast food; it’s quick and tastes great; it’s inexpensive and we get a

lot of food for a little money, which are what people look for today in this economy. Unless we

pay for good quality food, the quality of fast food is unsafe and damaging. People are unaware of

the risks that they are taking by “saving money” because what they are not saving is their

life. Going to places like McDonald’s where a burger has the same amount of calories one should

take in one day should make us second-guess eating there. At Taco Bell we’re not even eating

100% meat --we’re eating about 60% and the rest is chemicals that will harm our bodies. In

places like the local diner where they give you enough food for 2 days, the meat most likely

comes from 5000 different cows, and the vegetables aren’t always washed. Delicious meals like

these can sometimes be our last. The news tries to educate us by telling us stories about children

dying from food poisoning from eating a burger, but that doesn’t stop us. There are

documentaries and articles to help educate us on what is in our food and why we shouldn’t eat it,

and what to buy and why, but paying attention to these is more of an effort than it would be to

order a fast food meal.

The world is very diverse in several ways religion, clothing, culture, and are greatly

diversified by food. Most places in the world have a longer life expectancy because of the food

that they eat, its natural, healthy, and home grown. It’s rare to find a fast food restaurant when in

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places such as Europe. Many places in the world are disgusted by the eating habits of Americans

and have every right to be. There are several sources that can help educate Americans about how

to eat well and cheap and the answer usually is to make our food ourselves but the right way

(using healthier meat and other ingredients), so when we’re wondering what is on our plates, we

actually know. Studies show that people who cook their own food with healthier ingredients live

a healthier lifestyle, don’t feel as sluggish and also save money. Now, who doesn’t want that?

(To see how horrible fast food is in this country go on YouTube.com: Heart Attack Grill.)

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Here is Sarah’s third attempt at the “Issues in Food” essay. Think about whether or not her

argument is successful.

Sarah B.

Eng. 101 G4

3/17/13

What’s on Our Plates?

Americans often live their lives at a fast pace. The average American works five to seven

days a week to support a family. In today's economy more and more families struggle every day

to pay bills and worry about putting food on the table, but after a hard day’s work, who has the

time or energy to cook? The most reasonable meal solution in people’s eyes is to run to the

nearest fast food place or the most affordable restaurant to grab dinner. But after a filling fast-

food meal, the last thing that crosses their minds is to wonder about what they just ate and what it

is doing to their bodies. One of the major issues in America, then, is not being aware of what

we’re eating and how it’s going to affect our health. Consuming fast food in large quantities is

doing nothing but creating several long-term problems such as heart disease, diabetes, and high

blood pressure. It’s time for all of America to stop and think about changing what’s on their

plates.

Many Americans love fast food despite all that we know about its dangers. We all know

that fast food tastes great and is inexpensive – it is a good deal for Americans who have limited

means. However, many working-class and poor people are unaware of the risks that they are

taking by “saving money” on food because what they are endangering are their own lives and

probably the lives of their kids. When we go to McDonald’s where a burger has the same number

of calories one should take in an entire day, we should really pause before eating there. Recently,

we found out that Taco Bell’s “beef” is only 60% of the patty and the rest is chemicals that will

harm our bodies. Though we think that local, family-owned diners are healthier than fast-food

places, the portions are huge – we wind up with enough food for two days -- the burger patties are

often formed from dozens of cows, and the vegetables aren’t always washed. These “delicious”

meals can sometimes be the ones that push us over the edge health-wise.

We hear and read about food recalls and tainted fast food, but that doesn’t stop us. There

are documentaries and articles to help educate us about what is in our food and why we shouldn’t

eat it, what to buy and why, but many people who are overworked and in a hurry don’t take these

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into consideration. They also think that the government is looking out for their safety, but they

don’t realize our government has very little control over food safety.

So, how can we convince Americans to eat more healthily? Maybe people of limited

means could take simple steps towards being responsible for their own food. The supermarket in

my neighborhood marks down produce that is a little old or a little bruised. Maybe the

supermarket could post suggested recipes right near the marked-down food. Also, lots of

supermarkets have a “dented can” section that people can pick through. The reduced produce

plus some meat on sale and some water could make a large stew that could feed a family. Also, if

we could convince people to cook big, freezable meals on the weekends, it would go a long way

towards breaking the cycle of reliance on fast foods.

Another way we could get people to cook more is to suggest that they look back into their

ethnic heritage for recipes. For instance, when I looked up the word “stew” in Wikipedia, I was

amazed at all the different kinds of stews coming out of all these different countries. So, if you’re

Russian, you could make a stroganoff, and if you are Latino, you could make chili con carne, for

instance. Since stews have been around for thousands of years, they have to be healthy meals.

There are several sources that can help educate Americans about how to eat well and

cheaply and the answer usually is to make our food ourselves but the right way (by using

healthier meats and other ingredients), so when we’re wondering what is on our plates, we’ll

actually know. Studies show that people who cook their own food with healthier ingredients live

a healthier lifestyle, don’t feel as sluggish, save time and also save money. Now, who doesn’t

want that?

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

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Paper 1: Due on 9/11

Choice of Three Topics Let’s kick off the discussion by having you all choose one of the below topics, which anticipate our discussions for the semester.

1. Despite our knowledge of the addictiveness of certain foods and flavors; the knowledge that fast food places vastly outnumber farm stands, fresh food kiosks, markets, produce stands, especially in poorer areas; the knowledge that most middle-class people have jobs encouraging sedentary habits, we are still debating the ultimate responsibility for weight gain and the health issues that come with obesity (Type II diabetes, heart disease, etc.). One the extreme sides of the issue are those who believe that weight gain is solely a matter of choice. If people had will-power, they could lose weight and keep it off. On the other side, there are those who believe that that weight gain is fostered by the scarcity of good food choices and the food industry of the USA. Where do you stand on the issue of responsibility for food choice and management of weight?

2. Almost all of us would acknowledge that the Internet has become an integral and

necessary part of our lives: we are expected to have working familiarity with computers, social media, smart phones, and we are expected to have a passing knowledge of new trends in social media (Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram,). However, experts and users both agree that there have been problems caused by both overuse of social media and improper use of them as well. Where do you stand on the issue of the use or (and?) misuse of one form of social media? NB: Media is a plural word: medium would be the proper form for talking about Facebook only; if you were to talk about Instagram and Pinterest, then you can talk about media.

3. Many experts in the field of education a well as parents and educators believe the

American system of education is in trouble in many ways. In recent books such as College Unbound by Jeffrey Selingo and Is College Worth It? by William J. Bennett, the authors contend that a four-year education is simply unsuitable and unaffordable for many. In addition, many students are underprepared for the rigors of college for a variety of reasons: high schools have become unable to produce students who can bypass remedial college classes; the emphasis on standardized testing plus the cutbacks in “frills” courses such as music and art deprive college entrants of a well-rounded educational experience that might “tip” them towards majors they may never have chosen without artistic experiences; third, high schools as well as colleges present few occupational options for those who might flourish in certificate programs and on-the-job training. Where do you stand on the issue of affordable, appropriate education in the USA today?

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Paper 2: Issues in Food: due 10/7

The writers Bittman, Singer, and Leonhardt explore some important issues in food production and consumption in the United States. You are free to develop your paper in response to one of these writer’s ideas or to one of the following issues:

1. Taxing/governmental intervention 2. Obesity – “fixing” American diet 3. The role of the diet industry in “fostering” fat 4. Food industry lobbying

Please realize that these subjects are huge: you will need to narrow down the topic as you think about it. See the sample student essay on page Follow the “they say/I say” templates since you need to do the following things:

1. Acknowledge and discuss the majority opinion. (“They say”); 2. Explain the majority opinion fairly; 3. Discuss what others say, if this is applicable; 4. Decide your viewpoint (agree, disagree, mixed opinion); 5. State your opinion clearly and outline your reasons for them. (The opinion=thesis;

the reasons=topic sentences and the bulk of your essay.)

Please make sure to use our textbook for guidance, paying particular attention the templates I expect you to use.

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Paper 3: The Works Cited Assignment Submit a sample Works Cited page for a grade. Please submit only one of each of the following. Please refer to THE MLA DOCUMENTATION included in this packet before attempting this assignment. You MUST include the following entries: THESE ARE NOT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER, SO DO NOT FOLLOW THIS ORDER UNLESS IT HAPPENS TO BE ALPHABETICAL. A book of any kind, print A selection from a newspaper, print or web A selection from a magazine, print or web An entry for a web page (NOT web site) An entry for a film, DVD, or video The entries you choose for this assignment do not have to be related in any way nor are they your choices for the documented essay due at the end of the semester. The due days for this assignment are firm: no late sample pages will be accepted. However, you do have a chance to do this assignment a total of three times. The highest grade will be the one and only one counted. I will count the same kinds of errors as one error. For example, if you make ten punctuation errors I will count them as one error, an error in punctuation.

Grading is as follows: Errors Grade

0 A 1 A- 2 B+ 3 B 4 B- 5 C+ 6 C 7 C- 8 D+ 9 D 10 D- 11 F

Due Dates: WC1: 10/30 WC2: 11/4 WC3: 11/6

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Paper 4: Issues in Social Media due 11/13

The writers Hoffman, Wortham, and the cartoonists explore some important issues in the production and consumption of social media in the United States. You are free to develop your paper in response to one of these writer’s ideas or to one of the following issues:

1. Sexting 2. Overwhelming involvement in social media 3. Distraction, impact on social skills 4. Netiquette 5. Phishing, scamming, hoaxing 6. Big Data

Please realize that these subjects are huge: you will need to narrow down the topic as you think about it. See the sample student essay on page Follow the “they say/I say” templates since you need to do the following things:

1. Acknowledge and discuss the majority opinion. (“They say”); 2. Explain the majority opinion fairly; 3. Discuss what others say, if this is applicable; 4. Decide your viewpoint (agree, disagree, mixed opinion); 5. State your opinion clearly and outline your reasons for them. (The opinion=thesis;

the reasons=topic sentences and the bulk of your essay.)

Please make sure to use our textbook for guidance, paying particular attention the templates I expect you to use.

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Paper 5: Problems in Education: due 12/5

The writers Johns, Graff, and Asche explore some important issues in education in the United States. You are free to develop your paper in response to one of these writer’s ideas or to one of the following issues:

1. Unpreparedness for college 2. Remediation within college 3. High cost of college 4. Lack of alternatives to a college education 5. The rise of MOOCs as alternatives to traditional classroom instruction

Please realize that these subjects are huge: you will need to narrow down the topic as you think about it. See the sample student essay on page Follow the “they say/I say” templates since you need to do the following things:

1. Acknowledge and discuss the majority opinion. (“They say”); 2. Explain the majority opinion fairly; 3. Discuss what others say, if this is applicable; 4. Decide your viewpoint (agree, disagree, mixed opinion); 5. State your opinion clearly and outline your reasons for them. (The opinion=thesis;

the reasons=topic sentences and the bulk of your essay.)

Please make sure to use our textbook for guidance, paying particular attention the templates I expect you to use.

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Documented Essay Workshop

Students must attend the Workshop: phone calls, text messages, or email messages will not substitute for attending the Workshop. NOTE: Mere attendance without doing the actual work will not result in a passing grade. (An F on this assignment will be factored into the final average of the course.) To earn a passing grade for this paper, the following must be demonstrated:

• Students must attend class on 12 /9, 2014. Absences will result in an F for this assignment. (Only extraordinary circumstances – my definition of them – might affect an F grade for this assignment should a student be absent.)

• Students need to bring a draft of their work in progress. It needs to show that the student has been thinking and writing about the topic. It can contain notes, fragments, pieces. It can be messy. BUT: it has to be something that shows genuine progress (my definition of genuine progress) on the topic.

• Students will verbally report on their progress during the class. You might be wise to write up a short summary.

• Some questions that you might consider brainstorming to help you come up with a draft are the following:

o I was offered a choice of topics. I picked this one. Why? What appealed to me about this topic?

o What do I know about this topic already? o Now that I’ve written what I know, what do I think about my topic?

Do I have an opinion, a main idea? o What do I want to write about/think about/research about my topic

now? o What sources that I have looked at already do I want to use as I think

or write about my topic? o What questions about my topic or main idea do I have at this point?

You are welcome to bring in any sources you are interested in using for your documented essay if you want me to take a quick look at them. If we run out of time during class, please send me a link to the sources via email, and I will get back to you that night.

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Paper 6 and 7: Documented Essay Due: 12/18, 2014

Documented Essay: Description and Guidelines First a definition: A documented essay is an essay which contains ideas and discussion generated by the student coupled with appropriate secondary sources employed to support and develop those ideas. Next, a description: the documented essay takes as its subject a student-generated and narrowed topic concerning some aspect of one of the three subjects in our class (issues in food, social media, or education in the United States.) The student’s point of view about the topic must appear throughout the paper: the documented essay needs to demonstrate conclusively that the student is providing a discussion wherein he or she is using sources to back up his or her argument in the paper. It is a relatively short paper, 4-6 pages of text, which excludes the Works Cited page. The documented essay uses parenthetical documentation to avoid plagiarism. Lastly, the documented essay is a departmentally mandated assignment and, as such, carries more weight than other papers in Eng. 101. Therefore, it is worth two paper grades. Under no circumstances are you to leave your opinion or evaluation of your topic to the end of the paper. You are in control of the documented essay, so I should see your ideas, opinions, and perspectives popping up in the paper often.

Also, please remember that you want to use at least THREE professional sources, one of which MUST be one of the readings from our course Reading Packet. Researching the topic online presets difficulties in distinguishing professional sources because certain sites (.com, or commercial, .net. or network, or even .org. or organization may not contain well-researched, professionally written or composed material. It’s best to stick to credible sites such as major newspapers and to look for actual, physical books in the physical, not cyberspace, part of NCC’s library. The second set of guidelines: The documented essay, an essay you compose will use sources that are appropriate to your topic and approach. Please read over the FAQs below to make your research, note-taking, paper-writing, and revisions efficient and productive. By no means will this be an easy assignment. It should not, however, be impossible or discouraging. If it turns into either of these, please contact me: let me help you. To get you started, consider the FAQs below.

Q. What should I do my research on? A. You have three options here:

1. Modify, lengthen and revise a paper you have already done for this class, or 2. Write a paper in response to an essay from the text, or 3. Write a paper that takes as its topic one of the topics covered in the text (i.e., food,

education, media.) Settle on something quickly, don’t change your mind, and get started on looking up short pieces and texts and get reading.

Q. Do I have to tell you what topic I’ve chosen? A. Yes, you need my approval for a variety of reasons that I will go into in class.

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Q. When do I have to make a decision about a topic? A. As soon as possible.

Q. I always research papers on the Internet. A. Are you sure you know what you need or want to know or write about is on the Internet?

The Internet is an evolving entity and is getting increasingly harder to find thoughtful articles and arguments. In addition, it is also being gobbled up by companies who are only interested in grabbing what was once free info and charging us for it. The scholarly information that we now pay for is available at college libraries for free. In fact, the info is available at all libraries for free – but, you are better off either visiting NCC’s library or accessing it as you are researching your paper. NCC has research librarians who can help you navigate the ‘Net.

Q. So, if I go to NCC’s library or access it from home, where should I start? A. Start by using the NCC’s computerized system when at the library or at home. When you

access it from home, you cannot get the actual articles from NCC’s library unless you have a valid NCC ID to do your research. Enter your N00 and you’re on your way. When you physically use NCC’s library, speak to a librarian about accessing the periodicals holdings.

Q. My local library’s really good. Can I do all of my research there? A. Please do your main research through or in our library at NCC and not your own library.

While your local library is probably a good one, it is not an academic library. You need to become familiar with an academic library if you are to go beyond an A.A. degree and/or if you are to navigate a college library while in pursuit of various college degrees. It’s vital that you make use of a college library for this assignment.

Q. Are there any sources I shouldn’t use? A. Commercial sources (.coms) exist to sell you stuff. They will put anything on their

websites in order to attract customers. Beware of them. A. Wikipedia is great. I use it all the time when I need to research something.

Wikipedia is a very, very dynamic, sometimes reliable, energetic website that seems to provide us with everything we need to know about everything in the world. However, since Wikipedia’s existence depends upon public input, it is notoriously full of errors. While many people enjoy posting carefully verified information, some “contributors” enjoy planting misinformation within pages that very well could have been considered reliable at some point. So, is Wikipedia “great” for serious research?

A. I’ve Xeroxed/printed out a bunch of articles from my sources. How do I know which

ones to use? Q. It’s trial and error, folks. There is no way to predict if something you read will be

something you can use. The usual course of events runs this way: students usually wind up reading more material than they actually use in a research paper.

Q. How should I take notes when reading through my sources? A. On the computer, take five minutes to generate a new file for every source you look at.

Write the name(s) of the author, the title, the source (New York Times, etc.) and other bibliographic info. Save it, using the author’s name as well as your topic as the file name. ( Example: Bittmanfood.docx; Worthamsocialmedia.docx; Rosenbaumeducation.docx.)

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Q. How do I set up this essay? A. The same way you’d set up any other: you have to assemble it from the usual parts of

intro, body, conclusion. Try putting this essay together backwards: you might not be successful if you try to write it the way it’s supposed to be submitted to a reader. If the conclusion occurs to you first, write it, label it conclusion and then move on to another piece. The first drafts of this paper should be messy and all over the place. Save it from disorganization by having great notes and knowing your topic really well.

Q. How many sources or quotations do I need for this paper? A. You must use one of the articles from the Readings Packet as one of your sources. This

is non-negotiable. After you have chosen one and have read and absorbed it, you then can use as many as you need. A good documented essay will use between two to eight professional sources and will feature an involved conversation between you and your sources. You will be the guiding agent within the paper, getting your readers to understand what your sources are saying and why they are important to the conversation about the work. As far as quotations are concerned, a professor I once had said to me: “If your source can say it better than you, then quote it. If not, paraphrase.”

Q. How do I know when I’m done with the paper and it’s ready to be turned in? A. See if it measures up to the Criteria List of ten items. Make SURE the paper spills over

into 5 or 6 pages. Call the extra page “spillage” an insurance policy: papers that run too short are immediately consigned to C or below.

Q. I just finished printing the paper out on the due date, and I haven’t had anytime to

proofread it. What do I do now? A. First, bring your flash drive with you to school or save your paper in Google Drive

or to your email. On the final submission date, you will engage in an intensive proofreading session in class, which may result in your having to retype portions of the paper. Getting rid of every grammatical or typographical error is NOT expected for an A grade. Make time to go to the Library or to a campus computer lab so that you can retype sections of and print out the paper. Then you can hand in the cleaned up version of your paper if there is time.

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The Documented Essay Criteria that I use to evaluate your documented essays follows. This is the rubric I use to grade your documented essays. Name: Title of Documented Essay:

Criteria on which the grade for this paper is based are the following:

Documentation:

1. achieves a minimum 4 pages of text in length with no “filler,” such as lists of items, extra spaces, long or extended block quotations. YES NO

2. includes a correctly executed Works Cited page.

YES MOSTLY SOMETIMES NO

3. contains a Works Cited page that matches the parenthetical documentation also included in the paper. YES MOSTLY SOMETIMES NO

4. uses professional sources as evidence in support of a discussion, investigation, or

exploration of a topic. YES MOSTLY SOMETIMES NO

5. indicates those sources correctly, clearly and distinctly in the body of the paper.

YES MOSTLY SOMETIMES NO

Essay Construction:

6. focuses on one topic. YES NO

7. contains a main idea.

YES NO

8. contains arguments and counterarguments. YES NO

9. maintains the writer’s perspective throughout the essay. YES SOMETIMES NO

10. presents a competent grasp of grammar, sentence structure, diction, and essay form

YES MOSTLY SOMETIMES NO Grades for documented essay: / Paper Grades: P1: P2: P3: P4: P5: P6: P7:

Grade for course (includes class participation, completion of reading assignments, passing quizzes, adherence to absence policy):

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Thesis Statements

From: The Writing Center University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb

I, Dr. O’Connor, have rewritten substantial parts of this to make it pertain to our class in particular. To see the original document, please go to the web address above.

Writing in college often takes the form of persuasion—convincing others that you have an interesting, logical point of view on the subject you are studying. Persuasion is a skill you practice regularly in your daily life. You persuade your roommate to clean up, your parents to let you borrow the car, your friend to vote for your favorite candidate or policy. In college, course assignments often ask you to make a persuasive case in writing. You are asked to convince your reader of your point of view. This form of persuasion, often called academic argument, follows a predictable pattern in writing. After a brief introduction of your topic, you state your point of view on the topic directly and often in one sentence. This sentence is the thesis statement, and it serves as a summary of the argument you'll make in the rest of your paper.

A thesis statement does the following:

• It tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion.

• It is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper.

• It directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or Moby Dick; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the novel.

• It makes a claim that others might dispute. • It is usually a single sentence (it is NOT phrased as a question) somewhere in

your first paragraph that presents your argument to the reader. The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.

If your assignment asks you to take a position or develop a claim about a subject, you may need to convey that position or claim in a thesis statement near the beginning of your draft. The assignment may not explicitly state that you need a thesis statement because your instructor may assume you will include one. When in doubt, ask your instructor if the assignment requires a thesis statement. When an assignment asks you to analyze, to interpret, to compare and contrast, to demonstrate cause and effect, or to take a stand on an issue, it is likely that you are being asked to develop a thesis and to support it persuasively.

How do I develop a thesis?

A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Formulating a thesis is not the first thing you do after reading an essay assignment. Before you develop an argument on any topic, you have to

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collect and organize evidence, look for possible relationships between known facts (such as surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of these relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a "working thesis," a basic or main idea, an argument that you think you can support with evidence but that may need adjustment along the way.

Writers use all kinds of techniques to stimulate their thinking (brainstorming, freewriting, diagramming are but a few techniques) and to help them clarify relationships or comprehend the broader significance of a topic and arrive at a thesis statement.

How do I know if my thesis is strong?

If there's time, run it by your instructor or make an appointment at your Writing Center to get some feedback on your idea. Even if you do not have time to get advice elsewhere, you can do some thesis evaluation of your own. When reviewing your first draft and its working thesis, ask yourself the following:

1. Do I answer the question or respond to the topic? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working thesis can help you fix an argument that misses the focus of the question.

2. Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If your thesis simply states facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, it's possible that you are simply providing a summary, rather than making an argument.

3. Is my thesis statement specific enough? Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong argument. If your thesis contains words like "good" or "successful," see if you could be more specific: why is something "good"; what specifically makes something "successful"?

4. Does my thesis pass the "So what?" test? If a reader's first response is, "So what?" then you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue.

5. Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. It's o.k. to change your working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the course of writing your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.

6. Does my thesis pass the "how and why?" test? If a reader's first response is "how?" or "why?" your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. See what you can add to give the reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.

Examples

Suppose you decide to write something about America’s relationship with fast food. You’ve done some reading about it and you come up with “Fast food is bad for people because it can cause obesity and health problems.” On the surface, this looks like a great thesis: with so much information out there on the dangers of fast food, this thesis can practically write itself. That’s the problem: it’s NOT a thesis. Why not? Review the above list and write here why this “thesis” isn’t one:

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How could you rethink the statement above and produce a working thesis?

Once you have a working thesis, you will begin to do much more than simply restate tired old arguments and facts about the dangers of fast food almost everyone in America already knows. As you write and think, you will, we hope, end up revising the working thesis into a final thesis that really captures the argument in your paper.

Let's look at another example. Suppose your instructor hands out the following assignment in a class: “Pick a popular film that both audiences and critics loved. Discuss how and why this particular film is or has been considered successful.” "This will be easy," you think. "Everyone I know loved The Hangover, and I remember that it got some good reviews!" You grab a pad of paper and write:

The Hangover is one of the best comedies ever made.

Why is this thesis weak? Think about what the reader would expect from the essay that follows: you will most likely provide a general, appreciative summary of the movie. The question did not ask you to summarize; it asked you to analyze. Your professor is probably not interested in your opinion of the movie; instead, she wants you to think about why this particular film was both a popular and critical success —what exactly about this movie makes it successful when most raunchy and vulgar “kid” comedies are dismissed by serious critics? Notice that the topic (or prompt) that you are given offers you very little guidance in terms of how to approach the discussion. Here’s where you have to give things a lot of thought. Sure, The Hangover was hilarious, but what set it apart from other low-brow buddies flicks? You now write:

Because of clever plotting, The Hangover has become one of the best comedies ever made.

Here's a working thesis with potential: you have highlighted an important aspect of the film for investigation; however, it's still not clear what your analysis will reveal. Your reader is intrigued, but is still thinking, "What about the clever plot?” Perhaps you are not sure yet, either. That's fine—begin to work on selecting scenes from the film and see what you discover. Free write, make lists, jot down the evidence you think you’ll need. You also know that there’s a name for this kind of plot, but you have to look it up. Eventually you will be able to clarify for yourself, and then for the reader, why the plot matters. After examining the evidence and considering your own insights, you write:

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The Hangover (2009) was successful commercially and critically because of its reverse chronological plotline, so the plot twists and visual gags kept both audiences and critics laughing and wanting more. In this paper, I will argue that it wasn’t the casting or the “bromance” that made the film so successful but the careful plotting of key scenes.

This final thesis statement presents an interpretation of a text (in this case, a film) based on an analysis of its content. Of course, for the essay itself to be successful, the writer must now present evidence from the film that will convince the reader of your interpretation.

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Writing Topic Sentences

From: University of Ottawa For additional information, consult our list of contacts. http://www.writingcentre.uottawa.ca/hypergrammar/partopic.html Last updated: 2007.08.16 Original document written by Dorothy Turner. I, Dr. O’Connor, have made substantial changes to the original document. To see the original, go to the above link.

A topic sentence (also known as a focus sentence) encapsulates or organizes an entire paragraph, and you should be careful to include one in most of your major paragraphs. Although topic sentences may appear anywhere in a paragraph, in academic essays they often appear at the beginning.

It might be helpful to think of a topic sentence as working in two directions simultaneously. It relates the paragraph to the essay's thesis, and thereby acts as a signpost for the argument of the paper as a whole, but it also defines the scope of the paragraph itself. For example, consider the following topic sentence:

Though many fast-food restaurants post information about calories, fat and sodium content in their foods, many people seem to ignore this information before eating the food.

If this sentence controls the paragraph that follows, then all sentences in the paragraph must relate in some way to fast food, calories, fat and sodium, and people ignoring the menu information.

For instance, Green Cactus Grill, a local Tex-Mex chain, posts information on its website about the seemingly healthy option, the Vegetable Burrito, which contains 928 calories, 384 of them from fat.

The above sentence fits in with the topic sentence because it lists the nutritional facts about a menu item.

In addition, if a patron adds a large soda (over 250 calories) and dessert (Xangos, which is a deep-fried cheesecake in a wrap, 3160 calories), the caloric intake of this lunch is almost double the recommended total daily intake for men 19-30 and triple for women in the same age group, according to livestrong.com’s website.

The transitional phrase "In addition" ratchets up the argument about why people need to pay attention to nutritional information.

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From hereon in, the writer can use other facts and sources (other fast-food menus, David Zinczenko’s series of books called Eat This, Not That, interviews with friends and relatives to find out if any of them actually pay attention to calorie postings) to help shape this paper and advocate for greater awareness of the high caloric content of fast foods on the consumer’s part.

Analyzing a Topic Sentence

Topic sentences often act like tiny thesis statements. Like a thesis statement, a topic sentence makes a claim of some sort. As the thesis statement is the unifying force in the essay, so the topic sentence must be the unifying force in the paragraph. Further, as is the case with the thesis statement, when the topic sentence makes a claim, the paragraph which follows must expand, describe, or prove it in some way. Topic sentences make a point and give reasons or examples to support it.

Consider the last paragraph about topic sentences, beginning with the topic sentence itself:

Topic sentences often act like tiny thesis statements.

This is my claim, or the point I will prove in the following paragraph. All the sentences that follow this topic sentence must relate to it in some way.

Like a thesis statement, a topic sentence makes a claim of some sort. As the thesis statement is the unifying force in the essay, so the topic sentence must be the unifying force in the paragraph.

These two sentences show how the reader can compare thesis statements and topic sentences: they both make a claim and they both provide a focus for the writing which follows.

Further, as is the case with the thesis statement, when the topic sentence makes a claim, the paragraph which follows must expand, describe, or prove it in some way.

Using the transitional word "further" to relate this sentence to those preceding it, I expand on my topic sentence by suggesting ways a topic sentence is related to the sentences that follow it.

Topic sentences make a point and give reasons or examples to support it.

Finally, I wrap up the paragraph by stating exactly how topic sentences act rather like tiny thesis statements.

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TRANSITIONS

When you write, use transitions which indicating the relationships between ideas and the direction in which your discussion is going.

Signal words

These words signal to both reader and writer that what follows them is especially important.

above all and at any rate central chief despite especially -est forms of adjectives, e.g., (safest, greatest, best, worst) even though finally indeed instinctive just as key main

major moreover most (important, noteworthy, obvious) naturally not only ...but also of course primary principal [whatever] should be (remembered, noted, observed) significant still this, that, these, those, one vital

Illustration Words

Illustration words are used to introduce examples or illustrations to clarify, define,

explain, or develop an idea or a generalization.

as, as when for example for instance specifically

such as that is (to say) the following to illustrate

Order or Time Sequence Words Sequence words are used to help you arrange things according to their order of

importance or the order in which they happened.

before, after finally first, second from...to, until

here, there most important next presently

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soon, as soon as subsequently then

ultimately when, whenever

Addition Words

Addition words will help you to steer an idea in the same direction, with more points or details added.

in addition also and another furthermore next (reason, quality,

example, event) moreover again other (reasons, qualities, etc.)

Comparison Words

Comparison words signal that two or more things are the same or similar.

alike also and both can be compared (to, with)

comparatively each just as...so likewise same similarly

Contrast Words

Contrast words are used to signal that you will show an opposite view or change the direction of a previously stated idea. If a writer wishes to alter slightly or modify an

earlier statement, he or she can do so by using contrast words.

although, though but conversely despite different from, different than each either...or -er (forms of adjectives) than as in “bigger than, smarter than,” etc.

even though however in contrast instead more, less than (something else) neither...nor nevertheless on the contrary on the other hand

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one...the other (one is lighter than the other) some...others (some are more friendly than others) still

then...now whereas while yet

Cause/Effect Words

Cause/Effect words signal that one thing caused another to happen. Sometimes a cause-effect relationship is shown within a sentence that contains this kind of signal.

after as a result because consequently from...to, until hence

if...then since then therefore thus

Summary Words

Summary words signal the conclusion of a topic. Keep in mind that summary words can be used to indicate the most important point within a paragraph or at the end of a longer

discussion.

above all again finally hence in brief in conclusion, to conclude last, last of all

most importantly therefore to reiterate to repeat to summarize, to sum up ultimately