Domestic Violence and Its Impact On The Developing Child
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Transcript of Domestic Violence and Its Impact On The Developing Child
Jennifer Vaida, MPHPrevent Child Abuse Tennessee
4721 Trousdale Dr., Suite 121Nashville, TN 37220
www.pcat.org
ME WHEN VIOLENCE WAS HAPPENING
ME WHEN THE VIOLENCE HAD STOPPED
Hard to tell what is wrong lack of clear
physical signs
often have emotional and psychological wounds
Signs of exposure are as varied as personalities
Different reactions at
The Threat OR Use of Violence or
Intimidation by an Intimate Partner in
Order to Gain and Maintain Power and
Control Over Another Person
CHARACTERISTICS EXAMPLES
Escalation
Type of Perpetrator
Perpetrator’s Relation to Child
Victim’s Role in the Assault
Resolution
Extent to which violent episodes escalate
Family only; anti-social; mental health concerns/borderline personality
Biological father; stepfather; live-in boyfriend; transient boyfriend; or mother
Whether victim is passive or attempts to defend herself
Academic difficulties
Overly aggressive behavior
Isolated from counseling
Isolated from other children
Limited interaction outside of family
Move frequently
Nightmares/bedwetting/flashbacks
Often believe violence is OK
Boys are more likely to batter
High risk of alcohol/drug abuse
High risk of juvenile delinquency
High risk of running away
Conflict between love/hate
Fear
Anger
Pressuring mom to return to abuser
Resisting authority
Insecurity
Sadness, depression, suicidality, guilt
Fletcher in his bedroom listening to his parents argue
Kate’s picture of her mother’s attack at the fence
Women who report physical violence during pregnancy evidence higher than expected rates of adverse outcomes for the fetus such as: Intrauterine growth restriction (birth weight at
the 10th percentile or less)
Low birth-weight
Pre-term birth
Neo-natal or peri-natal death
Homicide is the leading cause of death among pregnant women in some US jurisdictions, and most of these deaths occur at the hands of intimate partners.
Babies can’t understand what is happening between adults, but they hear noise and feel the tension.
Key Aspects of Development in
Infants and Toddlers
Potential Impact of Domestic
Violence
Take information from the world
around them through the five senses
Loud noises, vivid visual images
associated with violence can be
distressing
Form secure attachments Parents may not consistently respond
to infant’s needs, negatively
affecting the parent-child bond
Become more active explorers of
their world through play
Fear and instability may inhibit
exploration and play; imitation in
play may be related to the aggression
they saw or heard
Learn about social interaction and
relationships from what they hear
and observe in family
Learn about aggression in observed
interactions
Loud noises, such as banging and yelling
Sudden and unpredictable eruption of loud noise
A distract, tense, unhappy, socially isolated mother
Angry, inconsistent father or father figure
Chance of being injured physically by accident or physical maltreatment
When yelling and tension become normal, even babies learn to adapt:
They stay in a heightened sense of arousal
They numb and turn inward
Neither is a healthy response, but it is how they adapt
Babies and toddlers can’t protect themselves or leave a stressful situation and depend entirely on adults to keep them out of harm’s way.
Javier’s drawing of frequent visits by the police
For this age group, what they experience is more real than anything you tell them
Key Aspects of DevelopmentIn Pre-Schoolers
Potential Impact of DomesticViolence
Learn how to express angry feelings and other emotions in appropriate ways
Learn unhealthy ways to express anger and aggression
Experiences and observations most salient in forming meaning in their world
Confused by conflicting messages (what I see vs. what I am told)
Outcome is more salient than process
May be distressed by perceived unfairness, father’s arrest, or trip to shelter
Think in egocentric ways May attribute violence to something they did
Form ideas of gender and roles based on social messages
Learn gender roles associated with violence and victimization
Increased physical independence Instability may inhibit independence
Seeing Mommy upset, crying, and maybe bleeding or with a bruise
Seeing (and hearing) Daddy angry and yelling
Sounds and sights of police or EMT when they secure the scene and answer a call to the home
Chaotic change and unpredictability
Fear they might be injured
Disruption of their routine if they leave a familiar home to go to a shelter
Worry about being hurt and have nightmares about being hurt
Believe they caused the “fight” by something they did
Hope that a TV character or super hero will come and save them
Try to stop the fight by, for example, yelling
“Tune out” the noise by focusing on something else like TV or toys
Be distressed when Mom is upset, but better when she is okay again
Be confused if Dad is gone and worry that Mom might leave too.
Often feel guilty and think if they had done something differently, the violence would have lessened
They feel bad not being able to protect
Impact can be increased by:
Direct involvement in the violence
Exposure to violence for a long time
Child or family member has a mental illness or behavioral issues
Ongoing stress (starting a new school, family financial difficulties, not having many friends)
Tell them it is okay to feel the way they do
Will keep them from Thinking that the violence is normal Becoming confused and blaming
themselves Thinking it is NOT okay to ask about
violence or discuss Learning to deny their feelings or hold
inside Feeling they are crazy Feeling lonely and isolated from their
friends Forming unrealistic beliefs about the
Listen without judging
Respond calmly
Help them identify feelings
If you don’t know the answer to a tough question, say so
Write down specific worries and talk about each
Encourage children
Tell them what happened is not their fault
Help them find a safe place to go when overwhelmed
Make a plan for how to respond to triggers
Don’t make promises you can’t keep
Help them make a plan for what to do the next time violence happens
Pari’s drawing of fighting at her house
“Those perceptions, interactions, and behaviors that the youth define to deal with their exposure and understanding of family violence”
Key Aspects of Development Potential Impact
Increased sense of self and autonomyfrom family
Care taking roles or premature independence, increased parent child conflict, early home leaving, school drop out
Physical changes from puberty Use size to try and stop
Increased peer group influence Shame, secrecy, high-risk behavior
Self worth more strongly linked to physical attractiveness
Distorted view of self, may experience eating disorder
Dating raises issues of sexuality, intimacy and relationship skills
May avoid or seek intimacy, see child bearing as escape
Increased capacity for abstract reasoning and broader view
Less able to see shades of gray, attitudes and values of violence
Increased influence by media More influence by negative message
Pre-maturely adopt care-taking roles
Pre-mature independence/ emancipation from family
Intervening in physical fights
Cognitive distortions
All-or-nothing interpretations
Pro-violence attitudes
Interruption of normal transition to young adulthood
Peer relationship problems
Use of costly coping strategies such as substance abuse
Difficulty establishing healthy relationships
Gender-role stereotypes
Mental blocking or disconnecting emotionally
Making it better through fantasy
Physical Avoidance
Looking for Love and Acceptance in all the Wrong Places
Taking charge through caretaking
Reaching out for help
Crying out for help Re-directing
emotions into positive activities
Trying to predict, explain, prevent or control the behavior of an abuser
Violence solves problems
Intimidation gets results
The victim is at fault
Controlling and manipulating others = satisfaction
Harmful stereotypes
Love = abuse Domestic
violence is normal
When compared with boys who have not witnessed DV, boys who have are:
4 times more likely to abuse in a dating relationship
25 times more likely to commit rape as an adult
6 times more likely to commit suicide
1000 times more likely to commit violent acts against an adult partner or their own children as adults
Young criminal offenders are 4 times more likely to have come from abusive homes
Girls from abusive homes are 6.5 times more likely to be sexually assaulted, and are more likely to become pregnant as teens
33% of girls who witness domestic violence while growing up, will become victims of domestic violence themselves as adults
80% of runaways come from homes
Increased by: Intellectual and
interpersonal skills development
Positive attention Self-esteem and
self-sufficiency Attractive
personality/appearance
Individual talents Religious
affiliations Socio-economic
advantage Opportunities for
good schooling
Safety Planning Children should
NEVER intervene
Identify a safe, secure place to go
During, after the violence
Best way to get there
Teach child to call 911 and not hang up
Rehearse full name and address
Rehearse
Give children choices whenever possible
Help children learn not only what not to do, but what to do instead
Teach children to put feelings into words
Validate children’s feelings about their parents
Create opportunities for children to be successful (i.e. sports, music, art, academics, peer relationships)
Send the right
How the violence made Maddie feel
The ability to survive, and even thrive, in the face of adversity
Safety
A relationship with a caring adults who offers unconditional support the child as a person
Positive and high expectation of the child
Opportunities for meaningful participation in positive community activities
Although children can demonstrate enormous resilience, this resilience is not likely to be realized if our system of services remains as fragmented as it is today
THE PRECIPICE
Child healthandwell-being as itstands today.
Child healthandwell-being as it could be.
Acknowledgment and Awareness
Robust Prevention Efforts