Doing Conflict Well joe gerstandt #SHRMDiv
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Transcript of Doing Conflict Well joe gerstandt #SHRMDiv
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conflict done wellFight. More. Better.
@joegerstandt #shrmdiv
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“We need in every community a
group of angelic troublemakers.”
Bayard Rustin
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joegerstandt.comtwitter.com/joegerstandt
linkedin.com/in/joegerstandt
facebook.com/joegerstandt
youtube.com/joegerstandt
joegerstandt.com/blog
slideshare.net/joeg
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@joegerstandt #shrmdiv
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MT
engineers
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MT
management
MT
engineers
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MT
management
MT
engineers
NASA
management
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MT
management
MT
engineers
NASA
management
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MT
management
MT
engineers
NASA
management
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Tuesday
morning
January
28th
1986
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MT
management
MT
engineers
NASA
management
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MT
management
NASA
management
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g
r
o
u
p
t
h
i
n
k
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groupthink:
mode of thinking that happens
when the desire for harmony in a
decision-making group overrides a
realistic appraisal of alternatives.
Group members try to minimize
conflict and reach a consensus
decision without critical evaluation
of alternative ideas or viewpoints.
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consider
decision
making… 1 - 10
What
makes it
better?
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We simply decide
without thinking
much about the
decision process.-Jim Nightingale
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Group vs. Individual Decision Making
groups individuals
accuracy
speed
creativity
degree of
acceptance
efficiency
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Group vs. Individual Decision Making
groups individuals
accuracy x
speed x
creativity x
degree of
acceptancex
efficiency x
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Groups often fail to
outperform individuals
because they prematurely
move to consensus, with
dissenting opinions being
suppressed or dismissed.
-Hackman, Morris (1975) Advances in Experimental
Social Psychology
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Group vs. Individual Decision Making
groups individuals
accuracy x
speed x
creativity x
degree of
acceptancex
efficiency x
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Group intelligence is
not strongly tied to
either the average
intelligence of the
members or the team’s
smartest member.-Thomas Malone, MIT Center for Collective
Intelligence
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Minority dissent, even
dissent that is wrong,
stimulates divergent thought.
Issues and problems are
considered from more
perspectives and group
members find more correct
answers.-Nemeth, Staw (1989) Advances in Experimental
Social Psychology
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low
belongingness
high
belongingness
low value in
uniqueness
high value in
uniqueness
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low
belongingness
high
belongingness
low value in
uniqueness
high value in
uniqueness
inclusion:Individual is treated as
an insider and also
allowed/encouraged to
retain uniqueness within
the work group.
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low
belongingness
high
belongingness
low value in
uniqueness
exclusion:Individual is not treated
as an organizational
insider with unique
value in the work group
but there are other
employees or groups
who are insiders.
high value in
uniqueness
inclusion:Individual is treated as
an insider and also
allowed/encouraged to
retain uniqueness within
the work group.
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low
belongingness
high
belongingness
low value in
uniqueness
exclusion:Individual is not treated
as an organizational
insider with unique
value in the work group
but there are other
employees or groups
who are insiders.
high value in
uniqueness
differentiation:Individual is not treated
as an organizational
insider in the work
group but their unique
characteristics are seen
as valuable and required
for group / organization
success.
inclusion:Individual is treated as
an insider and also
allowed/encouraged to
retain uniqueness within
the work group.
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low
belongingness
high
belongingness
low value in
uniqueness
exclusion:Individual is not treated
as an organizational
insider with unique
value in the work group
but there are other
employees or groups
who are insiders.
assimilation:Individual is treated as
an insider in the work
group when they conform
to org. / dominant culture
norms and downplay
uniqueness.
high value in
uniqueness
differentiation:Individual is not treated
as an organizational
insider in the work
group but their unique
characteristics are seen
as valuable and required
for group / organization
success.
inclusion:Individual is treated as
an insider and also
allowed/encouraged to
retain uniqueness within
the work group.
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Is it safe to be
unpopular?
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@joegerstandt #SHRMDIV
“Trust
precedes the
truth.”
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Is there a
penalty for
candor?
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Are there
things we do
not discuss?
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War for
talent?
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dysfunction
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dysfunctional disagreement
dysfunctional agreement
@joegerstandt #shrmdiv
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also
dysfunction
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dysfunctional disagreement
dysfunctional agreement
dysfunctional agreement
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dysfunctional disagreement
dysfunctional agreement
dysfunctional agreement
always
disagree lack of
trust
personal
conflict
us vs.
them
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dysfunctional disagreement
dysfunctional agreement
dysfunctional agreement
always
disagree lack of
trust
personal
conflict
us vs.
them
always
agreelack of
honesty
meeting
after the
meeting
lacking
skills
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dysfunctional disagreement
dysfunctional agreement
dysfunctional agreement
sweet
spot
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#1: champion decision making
How do we
make
decisions
here?
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#2:
champion
the
container
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How are we
going to be
here?
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• agreements & commitments
• objectives
• process expectations
• participation expectations
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divergent convergent
• explore
• imagine
• novelty
• defer judgment
• combine / integrate
• enlarge
• “yes” “and”
• clarify
• reduce
• categorize
• rate
• select
• cluster
• judge
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#3: champion assertive
communication
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low courage high courage
low
considerationpassive
aggressive
aggressive
high
considerationpassive assertive
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low courage high courage
low
considerationpassive
aggressive
aggressive
high
considerationpassive assertive
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passive:
• do not assert themselves
• allow others to deliberately or
inadvertently infringe on their rights
• fail to express their feelings, needs,
or opinions
• tend to speak softly or apologetically
• exhibit poor eye contact and slumped
body posture
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aggressive:
• try to dominate others
• use humiliation to control others
• criticize, blame, or attack others
• speak in a loud, overbearing voice
• not listen well
• interrupt frequently
• use “you” statements
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passive-aggressive:
• mutter to themselves rather than confront
the person or issue
• have difficulty acknowledging their anger
• use facial expressions that don't match
how they feel - i.e., smiling when angry
• use sarcasm
• appear cooperative while purposely doing
things to annoy and disrupt
• use subtle sabotage to get even
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assertive:
• state needs, feelings and wants
clearly and respectfully
• use “I” statements
• listen well without interrupting
• have good eye contact
• speak in a calm, clear tone of voice
• have a relaxed body posture
• not allow others to abuse them
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listen
actively
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ask good
open
ended
questions
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convey & invite
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express clearly and
completely
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third
chair
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#4:
champion
having a
beginner’s
mind
@joegerstandt #shrmdiv
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high
difference
low
difference
high
interaction
learning
growth
self-organization
stress
conflict
exhaustion
celebration
reinforcement
energy
low productivity
wasted energy
factions
low
interaction
reflection
safety
clearing the decks
isolation
misunderstanding
frustration
comfort
belonging
rest and recovery
boredom
stagnation
deathDifference Matrix
Glenda Eoyang HSDI
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high
difference
low
difference
high
interaction
learning
growth
self-organization
stress
conflict
exhaustion
celebration
reinforcement
energy
low productivity
wasted energy
factions
low
interaction
reflection
safety
clearing the decks
isolation
misunderstanding
frustration
comfort
belonging
rest and recovery
boredom
stagnation
deathDifference Matrix
Glenda Eoyang HSDI
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high
difference
low
difference
high
interaction
learning
growth
self-organization
stress
conflict
exhaustion
celebration
reinforcement
energy
low productivity
wasted energy
factions
low
interaction
reflection
safety
clearing the decks
isolation
misunderstanding
frustration
comfort
belonging
rest and recovery
boredom
stagnation
deathDifference Matrix
Glenda Eoyang HSDI
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high
difference
low
difference
high
interaction
learning
growth
self-organization
stress
conflict
exhaustion
celebration
reinforcement
energy
low productivity
wasted energy
factions
low
interaction
reflection
safety
clearing the decks
isolation
misunderstanding
frustration
comfort
belonging
rest and recovery
boredom
stagnation
deathDifference Matrix
Glenda Eoyang HSDI
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high
difference
low
difference
high
interaction
learning
growth
self-organization
stress
conflict
exhaustion
celebration
reinforcement
energy
low productivity
wasted energy
factions
low
interaction
reflection
safety
clearing the decks
isolation
misunderstanding
frustration
comfort
belonging
rest and recovery
boredom
stagnation
deathDifference Matrix
Glenda Eoyang HSDI
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high
difference
low
difference
high
interaction
move to low difference:Tell a joke.
State a shared value or
belief.
Share personal experience.
Pick a low difference topic.
move to low
interaction:Stop communicating.
Leave the area.
Explain yourself.
Pick a low
communication topic.
low
interaction
move to high
interaction:Ask a question.
Use another medium.
Listen more.
Pick a high communication
topic.
move to high
difference:Amplify little
differences
Play devils advocate
Pick a high difference
topicDifference Matrix
Glenda Eoyang HSDI
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resources• The Difference: How the Power of Diversity
Creates Better Groups, Firms, Schools, and Societies | Scott Page
• The Wisdom of Crowds | James Surowiecki
• A Whole New Mind | Daniel Pink
• The Medici Effect | Frans Johansson
• The Geography of Thought | Richard Nisbett
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resources• Achieving Success Through Social
Capital: Tapping Hidden Resources in Your Personal and Business Network | Wayne E. Baker
• The Whole Brain Business Book Ned Herrmann
• Competitive Advantage Through People: Unleashing the Power of the Work Force | Jeffrey Pfeffer