does this mean anythinga zine by julia leiby

spring 2014-present

i’d like to touch you

but i’ve forgotten how*

*kath bloom - the breeze/my baby cries

this is my friend luke. shortly after i took this picture i threw up on my friend’s car and was so disoriented that my friends drove me to a hospital where i was stuck in a bed and given fluids. i was so afraid i was going to be sent away again and i couldn’t stop crying and when i woke up the next day in my dorm my hair was matted with pink puke. it was on my shoes too.

2/14/14

...Then we came in the room and Kara was there unfortunately so we held eachother in the hall and then went down to the base-ment and kissed there and I forgot this but my heart was racing really fast before when I was just at the party talking to him. He touched me a little and kissed my neck and touched my cheek too and i held him and kissed him and his neck but still didn’t want to do anything (i never do) and then we were just holding eachother and his head was on my shoulder for what felt like forever.

I forgot what that was like in fact i can’t remember if i’ve ever experienced it before. i had my shirt off and was just tracing my hand up and down his back and he was so warm and i felt a great tenderness in my spirit. this happened on valen-tines day too. then all of a sudden he was like ‘i have to go/i think i should go” and i said some-thing dumb i think, i can’t remember what, but he held me close again and then he left. when i went to bed i woke up and there was this sticker, a heart sticker, stuck in my hair. it had been on his neck and i put it on the door.

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