Adoption….. Do something amazing for a child today (Examples of children looking for families)

We are committed to treating prospective adopters with openness, fairness and respect, and approach recruitment in a spirit of

inclusiveness with a view to identifying potential for adoptive

parenting. However we are aware that adoption often brings joys

as well as challenges and we are committed to being realistic with

you about the needs of the children who need adoption……

• Our agency has more boys waiting to be placed for adoption

than girls and this has been the case for some time

• We need adoptive placements for children between 2-5 years

of age, and sibling groups of 2, 3 or more children.

• We rarely have newborn or very young babies to place for

adoption.

• The youngest children that we have waiting for adoption under two, are usually within the age range 15 to 22 months age range.

• Some of our children have a disability or learning difficulties,

we need adopters who can support and meet most of the

needs of the children.

• We have children who are from different ethnic cultural and

religious backgrounds and try to look for adopters who can

meet most of the needs of the children

Reasons that children may need adoption

Background factors such as:

• Physical/emotional/sexual abuse • Neglect • Alcohol/drug abuse • Mental health issues • Violence and domestic abuse • Disability and ill health

What do Adopters need?

• Flexibility • Ability to accept difference • A good understanding of their own losses and difficulties • A curiosity about why their child might be behaving in the way they are

• Patience • A sense of fun • Support from those around them

In this leaflet we have included information about children that we have been Family Finding for. All the details relate to real children but their names have been changed to protect their identity.

Carl is a lively, energetic 4 yr old. He is sociable and enjoys the company of his peers and adults. Carl is generally co-operative and well behaved but as

with most children he can have a short lived tantrum when he does not get his own way. Carl is affectionate with his foster carer and loves a cuddle. He

relates well to other young people and appropriate adults.

Likes – Carl excels at jigsaw puzzles, enjoys crayoning, construction games, and playing card games such as ‘snap’ and playing with his toy ‘tool box’. Carl

also enjoys being out of doors, playing with his car, bike and generally

running around. He enjoys trips out, to the zoo for example.

Health - Carl is in good health. He has a speech delay although there has been a marked improvement in his speech recently.

Contact - A recommendation has been made that Carl be placed separately

to his older siblings although there is an expectation that direct contact will be maintained.

History - Having experienced neglect as a young child Carl has been cared

for in a stable foster placement for over two years. Carl presents as emotionally secure within the placement although there have been changes

including the departure of his sister from the placement and other ‘looked

after’ children joining the placement.

Justin – is 9 months and is a dual heritage baby. He is affectionate, sociable and interested in other children and adults.

Likes and Dislikes: Justin likes playing independently, music and animals.

He is a good eater but prefers purees and yoghurts to solids. Justin enjoys bottles in between his meals. Justin is a happy baby and smiles and is able to

vocalise well. He reaches out to grasp toys and puts his hands in his mouth. He is able to sit up but is not yet mobile.

History: Justin is placed with carers and has maintained regular contact with his birth parents and one half-sibling. Justin has been attending a

mother/toddler group and does well playing in parallel with other babies. Occasionally he becomes frustrated but he is generally good natured and calm.

Justin has 8 half-siblings, 7 boys and 1 girl who are all White British. The majority of his male half-siblings have dyslexia and wear glasses. He also has

a half-sibling in Africa.

Health and Development: Justin is a healthy little boy. He is meeting developmental target. His left eye is slightly lazy.

Justin would thrive in a one or two parent family who could reflect his dual

heritage or a family who could encourage and develop his understanding and identity with his own culture. Justin will need support to help him manage and

understand his family history. Adopters would need to support twice yearly

indirect contact with half-siblings and if in Justin’s best interests direct contact in the future. Post contact plans with birth parents are for annual indirect

contact.

.

Kirsty is 20 months old and has a very lively, generally cheerful and ‘sparkly’ personality. Kirsty is full of energy and determined to explore her world.

Likes: Kirsty is a toddler who loves exploring her environment and playing

with baby/toddler toys. Kirsty very much enjoys going swimming, going to adventure play areas and going to the park. Kirsty eats a variety of foods and

has no real dislikes. Kirsty very much enjoys her evening bath. Kirsty loves to be sociable and to play alongside other children.

Health: Kirsty is generally healthy. Her speech is slightly delayed and it is hoped with time she will catch up. Kirsty does suffer with nappy rash and it is

thought that this is brought on from eating certain fruits. Kirsty does suffer with slight eczema at times which requires the application of cream.

Contact: Kirsty will have letterbox contact twice a year with her birth mother

and her birth father. It is planned that direct contact should take place between Kirsty and her birth parents annually if considered to be in Kirsty’s

best interest. The local Authority will consult with the adopters and any other appropriate agencies before the decision is reached as to whether the direct

contact will take place.

Family: Kirsty needs adopters who can help her reach her full potential and can nurture her attachment

Kirsty is White British with no identified religion

Kerry and Debbie: Ethnicity/Nationality: Kerry and Debbie are happy, healthy White British sisters who have been in a foster placement for just over

a year and waiting go move to an adoptive placement where they can grow up together.

Contact arrangements: Kerry and Debbie have two older siblings (a brother

aged 12 and a sister aged 8) who are going to be placed in permanent foster care. The hope is that the adoptive parents will be willing to provide them with

the opportunity to stay in contact with their older siblings. Following adoption

the plan is for them to have letter box once a year where the girls can write to their mother.

Religion (if specified): Kerry and Debbie’s birth father used to attend

services from the Salvation Army and has indicated a preference for them to be brought up in a family with a Christian faith orientation.

Debbie (aged four) Debbie is an affectionate, little girl who interacts well

with her carers and the other children in the home. She has just started full time at school and is described as friendly and chatty with teachers and other

children in her class.

Debbie has come from a birth family that was chaotic and did not have boundaries or routines. She has thrived in her foster placement, responding

well to consistency. She was developmentally delayed when she first came into

care, but has caught up, and proud of her achievements, such as becoming fully toilet trained in time to start school this September.

Debbie is described by her carers as an affectionate and engaging child. She

has formed secure attachments with both her carers and this bodes well for

future positive attachments. Cont/……

Health and Development: Debbie is small for her age having been born prematurely. Her growth has been extensively investigated and the conclusion

has been that she is of genetically small stature. Debbie has a stigmatism for which she wears glasses. She is meeting all her developmental milestones.

Education: Debbie head teacher states “Debbie is a true delight and we are all

very fond of her”. Debbie is interacting well with other children and asking teachers questions appropriately and confidently.

Kerry (aged 3) Kerry is an easy going child who has easily adapted to new circumstances. She

is articulate and affectionate to her carers, and is able to hold her own when her big sister tries to boss her around.

Behaviour and Attachments: Kerry was exposed to neglect and domestic

violence between her parents when she was pre-verbal and it is possible that some of the trauma will surface later in her development. Initially her speech

and language was delayed but now she has caught up and is now chatty and confident.

Health & Development: Kerry is a healthy little girl. When she first came

into care, Kerry was on lactose free milk because of her blotchy skin. However, with a healthy diet, the problem has resolved itself and she is not intolerant to

cow’s milk. Kerry has met all her developmental milestones.

Family Needed: Debbie and Kerry will thrive in a placement with adoptive

parent (s) who are energetic enough to provide them with lots of time for individual attention for example with reading and homework. Given their

traumatic early experiences, Kerry and Debbie have responded well to a

nurturing environment with consistent boundaries and routines.

Some questions for you to consider……….

• What do you know about the history of the children who are placed

for Adoption?

• What do you understand about the impact of being removed from

their birth family, and of any neglect and abuse they may have

suffered?

• What do you think might be the differences between being a parent to birth children and being an adoptive parent?

• What do you know about the experiences children may have had

which lead them to need to be placed for adoption?

• How do you think the experiences and the effects of loss may

impact on the children?

• Some children being placed for adoption are “stuck” in their development and may act younger than their actual age? How

might you be able to help such a child?

• Do you understand the need for being open in adoption – the

importance of telling a child at different ages and stages of development that they are adopted? What do you imagine the

challenges might be of doing this?

Our commitment to you……..

We are committed to supporting prospective adopters to make an informed decision about whether adoption is right for them. We can do this through

providing information, having informal contact through email, telephone or visits to the office.

We also provide preparation courses for you to attend during the assessment

stages of adoption and offer on-going training and support once a child/ren are placed.

East Sussex Preparation Course is facilitated by Adoption Workers with input from

adopters. The course is run over four days in two day slots and covers the

following subjects using didactic input, group work, case studies, video, and adopter visits:

• Loss issues for both adopters and children placed for adoption.

• Information about “Looked After Children” and overcoming the effects of

abuse and neglect.

• Child Development and the importance and promotion of attachment.

• “Maintaining Links” with input from the Contact team and adopters, considering what and when to tell.

• Resilience, Identity and Diversity issues considered in the context of

adoptive parenting. Strategies for adoptive parenting and an introduction to

Theraplay which can be used by adopters to promote attachment.

Things to think about……..

• Adopters need to have resolved any personal loss issues if they are to be able to be emotionally free to fully invest

in adopting for a child/ren. These losses may be historic

for example in childhood, or related to infertility, or other

issues.

• Adoption workers would be happy to discuss these issues with you at an early stage of your thinking about

adoption to help you explore whether you feel they are

fully resolved.

• Adopters need to consider who will be available and willing to support them over time in parenting children

who may present with additional needs. These supports

need to be in place before you embark on the adoption

process.

THINGS TO DO………

Do as much research and reading as you can – we

provide a reading list. You can also access BAAF, Adopt

UK and other websites.

Consider meeting with experienced adopters and gain as

much knowledge as you can from them.

There are support groups around the county run by

Adoption UK co-ordinators funded by East Sussex. You

are able to visit these on a one off basis and if you think

they may be useful you can think about joining Adoption

UK as a member which entitles you to attend meetings.

We would invite you at any time to contact us if there is

anything you wish to discuss or have more information

about. We are committed to providing you with as

much information as we can about all aspects of

adoption.

East Sussex Adoption Team

Tel: 01323 747154

Email: registertoadopt@eastsussex.gov.uk