DivorceGroup!Proposal! “BEARy!Special!Families”! EDHS7240 ...€¦ · DivorceGroup!Proposal!...

Divorce Group Proposal

“BEARy Special Families”

EDHS 7240—Group Counseling

April 20th, 2012

Lisa Addison

David Talmage

Introduction

Creating a group for elementary school children of divorce is an effective way to

address a stressful family transition and provide an opportunity for support. Children’s

participation in a group can normalize the experience of divorce. The process of building

group unity and teaching children about divorce can benefit the students and reduce the

negative effects that a major family transition can have on a child. Goals of the BEARy

Special Families group include a system of support for each of the children, along with the

development of coping strategies to deal with the difficult feelings and experiences that

coincide with a divorce.

Literature Review

Divorce affects nearly one million children each year (Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005). Divorce

is a stressful process for the entire family, and is characterized by a period of conflict and

instability that can disrupt parent to child relationships, cause geographic transitions, and

may lead to a decrease in resources for children to adjust to their new environment (Kim,

2011; Potter, 2010). Although the effects of divorce can vary based on the situation and the

child, many outcomes for children of divorce can be negative (Potter, 2010). Furthermore,

these outcomes can be short-‐term by only lasting the duration of the divorcing process, or

they can be long-‐term, leading to disadvantages and trials in adulthood (Kim, 2011).

Associations found between children of divorced parents and adulthood disadvantages

include higher rates of depression, anxiety, and interpersonal difficulties, poorer subjective

well-‐being, lower socioeconomic status, and increased marital problems (Pedro-‐Carroll,

2005). In elementary school children whose parents are currently involved in a divorce,

prominent effects that can be seen are sadness and vulnerability, a lowered performance of

appropriate interpersonal skills, increased internalizing behaviors, a decrease in academic

performance, feelings of hopelessness, self-‐blame, and the fear of abandonment (Pedro-‐

Carroll, 2005).

Despite the negative effects that divorcing or separating parents can have on their

children, participation in a school-‐based group with other elementary school children

struggling with a similar family transition can provide the amount of support needed to

cope with divorce. However, in order for a group for children of divorce (like BEARy

Special Families) to be successful, it should follow guidelines of goals and procedures that

align with research. Firstly, the group should be child-‐focused (Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005). An

important goal for groups for children of divorce is the development of group cohesion;

children need an atmosphere of trust to facilitate the discussion of feelings and situations

that may be uncomfortable (Rose, 2009). A supportive group environment is critical for

children to feel safe and respected (Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005). Moreover, the mutual support of

talking to other children with shared experiences can contribute to the normalizing process

of divorce (Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005). The development of group cohesion is a fundamental

aspect of a group for children of divorce.

In addition to working as a unified group, a successful group for children of divorce

should also provide opportunities for teaching elementary school students. Demystifying

the process of divorce and familiarizing children with the terminology they might hear

throughout the process (custody, separation, etc.) is important for the child’s

understanding (Rose, 2009). Holding onto misconceptions about divorce and family

changes can be harmful to children who are prone to rely on wishful thinking to cope

(Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005). Similarly, helping children understand what aspects of divorce are

in or out of their control can ameliorate feelings of guilt or self-‐blame the child might have

following the separation of his or her parents (Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005). Providing children

with accurate information can be beneficial to elementary school children who may be

confused by the process of divorce.

Groups for children of divorce also provide an opportunity to children to learn

coping strategies. Not only can they learn to identify the complex feelings that may be

triggered by their parents’ divorce, but they can also learn what aspects of their lives they

can control (Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005). Providing children with the opportunity to express

themselves creativity is a unique way that children can brainstorm and express their

feelings (DeLucia-‐Waack, 2011). This increases their awareness of the goals being

discussed in the group and provides control in expressing their sense of self.

Empowerment is an important aspect of a child-‐centered group, and can contribute to

higher levels of self-‐esteem for the children and increase their ability to cope.

A group for children of divorce can foster resilience in children, or their ability to

adapt in the context of a significant challenge (Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005). The results of

outcome studies for short-‐term counseling groups for children of divorce are generally

positive. Groups that last less than ten sessions can reduce feelings of anxiety, aggression,

and depression in elementary school children (Rose, 2009). Furthermore, teachers report

that students participating in counseling groups are be better able to tolerate frustration,

follow rules, ask for help when needed, and get along well with peers (Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005).

Counseling groups for children of divorce can minimize acting out in the classroom and

improve academic performance.

Not only can group counseling help children achieve and behave in the classroom,

but it can also contribute to children having a more positive self-‐perception (Rose, 2009).

Following their participation in a divorce counseling group, children develop an openness

in sharing feelings and the ability to deal with problematic situations (Rose, 2009). Overall,

counseling groups for children of divorce, such as BEARy Special Families, lead to generally

positive changes and better adjustment for the children in their personal and academic

lives (Rose, 2009).

Although this is not included in the actual curriculum of the children of divorce

group, BEARy Special Families, counselors should remember to keep parents involved

throughout the process. Providing them with resources and information about how to help

their children cope with the divorce is important (Rose, 2009). Because of the transitions

that are happening within a divorcing family, parents can lose focus of maintaining a stable

parenting style or be unaware of the effects divorce can have on their elementary school

children (Pedro-‐Carroll, 2005). Parents have to power to influence their children

considerably; therefore, the maintenance of a healthy parent-‐child relationship can

mitigate the negative effects of divorce.

In conclusion, elementary school students whose parents are divorcing may

experience negative effects in their psychosocial well-‐being or have trouble coping with

their family’s transition. Implementing and facilitating a counseling group or following the

curriculum of BEARy Special Families can create a forum for children to gain support from

their fellow classmates and learn effective coping skills to help them through the change.

Children who participate in this program can benefit in various domains of their lives,

including academics, personal and social adjustment, and develop an overall positive self-‐

perception. Furthermore, they can increase their understanding of the process of divorce

and learn how to express their feelings and thoughts about their family’s changes. A group

for children of divorce can give them the forum to identify and discuss their feelings and

allow them the time to focus their energy on being a child.

Population and Concerns

This group is designed specifically for those children who are in second through

fourth grade, roughly aged seven to ten. Research has shown that the younger ages in this

spectrum who experience divorce are likely to feel sadness, confusion, guilt, and fears of

abandonment. Looking at the older end of our range, feelings of loyalty, isolation, and

stigma associated with divorce are most pertinent. This divorce group attempts to

combine both primary concerns for each age group and address both simultaneously. In

addition, group members should be selected with an about even split with respect to sex, as

well as a varied divorce background. This is to say that group members should come from

several points in the divorce process, e.g. those whose parents are separated, just divorced,

and some time after divorce. In addition, it will be helpful to choose children who have not

been observed being behavioral issues in the classroom as this may have the potential to

disrupt the process. Consideration, however, should be made for those cases in which the

behavioral issues are a result of the divorce.

A group setting has been chosen due to the social support that is gained from having

a diversely composed group. Divorce is a very common issue, especially for this age group,

and the amount of social support and experiences that will be exchanged through group

members is invaluable. One of the main instruments of therapy in this setting is the

interaction among group members who have been selected because of their varied points

in the divorce process. The experiences and knowledge that may be offered from the

various perspectives is a main goal of the group that often cannot be suggested through

interaction with one counselor alone.

The issue of divorce appears to be a somewhat universal one, thus necessitating a

very wide variety of potential group members across cultures. Since the impetus of the

strife-‐causing event is located with the parents, the issue has the potential to affect all kinds

of children across all walks of life. Thus, a wide net should be cast to utilize all types of

children according to the aforementioned standards. Most children within this age range

will be in the Preoperational stage of development, and will likely be faced with the

“Initiative vs. Inferiority” stage. This is a crucial detail and one of the main reasons why

this age group has been targeted. Parental influence is a fundamental aspect in the

development of initiative, especially initiative independent of the parents. When the

parental paradigm is compromised, serious developmental complications could potentially

occur. The target age for the participants in this group is an essential aspect in this process.

Group Theories

The facilitator of the BEARy Special Families group for children of divorce should

embody Rogerian principles of client-‐centered therapy. In order to encourage the children

in the group to be open with their complex feelings and emotions, the group leader can

model the qualities of being empathetic, non-‐judgmental, and showing unconditional

positive regard for each of the children in the room. Starting with this basic counseling

theory can lead to the ideal environment for children talking about a topic that may be

uncomfortable; having an atmosphere of acceptance and allowing the expression of

feelings during each group session is critical for participants to benefit from the group

process.

Although each session does follow along with an activity, many of them are

creativity-‐based, encouraging group members to use the arts to express their feelings. For

example, session 3 focuses on discovering the students’ feelings about the divorce by

looking at pictures, discussing them, and cutting and pasting feeling words. The overall

focus of the group work is for each individual member to benefit from the sharing and

conversation with peers; instead of the facilitator explicitly directing how the clients are

supposed to feel and what specific way they should be coping with divorce, they develop

meaning from each session by working with each other. The group members, through a

support system and an environment of expressing feelings, are allowed to rely on each

other for successful and unsuccessful experiences and strategies for coping. By taking a

person-‐centered approach, focusing on the environment of the group sessions, and

allowing the members to learn from each other and the creative group process, the

outcomes can lead to positive changes for children of divorce.

Membership

This group will consist of 6-‐8 members who will, are, or have experienced divorce in

their families and is reserved primarily for second to fourth grade students. The group wil

be a closed group due to the sensitive nature of the work and the balance of experience

level with divorce. Having a closed group ensures that this balanced is maintained and that,

for instance, the group is not composed completely of children who are currently

undergoing divorce. This diversity in the group will promote the inter-‐group work that is

necessary for the end goal and is an absolutely necessary component for the group to

function as planned.

Group members will be selected by teacher reference, word of mouth, and

expressed interest from parents. Letters should be sent home to parents letting them know

that there is a divorce group that will be occurring and interest should be gauged. From

there, further information should be obtained from parents regarding a background,

including family history and superficial information on the divorce. Selections should be

made with the aforementioned criteria in mind. The group will optimally consist of 6-‐8

members of a relatively even split in sex, as well as screening out for non divorce-‐related

behavior issues. This number of members will provide for a personal flow and exchange of

information without being overwhelmed by the number of people. Secondarily, this

number of participants provides for the greatest opportunity for diversity in experience

with divorce. Lastly, from a logistical standpoint, one counselor can adequately maintain

behavioral standards for 6-‐8 children effectively whereas a greater number would lessen

effectiveness.

Group members will be oriented to the group in the first session with the rules and

introductions. Parents will be primed with the group plan prior to the start of the group

and will be instructed to explain to their child the contents of the group generally. This

overview will prime the child to be ready for their group experience without significantly

biasing them toward the content. Group members will have the right to leave the group at

any time. Responsibilities extend to the group rules that are set out during the first

meeting. Group members are expected to show up to each meeting and offer meaningful

experiences for group process. Confidentiality is a responsibility, not a right in this group.

Members are expected to keep the process confidential, but it is made clear that

confidentiality is not guaranteed due to the group nature of the setting. This is the only risk

for participants of the group.

Curriculum

Please see the next page for curricula and group plan, including all appendices.

SESSION 1 (EST. 25 MIN)

Overview This session will primarily focus on group members getting to know each other and becoming familiar with the rules. Students will understand in general terms what the group is about and why they are there. Students will come away from this group understanding that they are members in a cohesive unit. Group rules will also be established for the duration of the group process. Objectives

Students will be able to recall each group member’s name Students will be able to concretely define what the group will focus on Students will be able to understand that the group is finite and will know how many

sessions it entails Lesson Procedure

1. Welcome students and begin with student introductions. Explain confidentiality piece. Use a yarn ball to regulate emotions. Have students throw the ball to other students sitting in a circle. Demonstrate the web of support that is created at the end of introductions.

2. Group Rules—Collaborate with students to come up with rules that will regulate the group. Rules should end up controlling the flow of talking and promoting nonjudgmental attitudes toward what is said in group.

3. Pre-‐Group Assignment-‐ Distribute the “BEARy Special Families” Pre/Post tests (Appendix A) to students.

4. Group Talk—Talk in very general terms about what divorce is. Ask students in the circle what they know about divorce. Have students offer their own experiences for how they have experienced divorce.


Overview Session two will focus primarily on understanding what divorce is. Children will come away from this group with a more concrete understanding of divorce proceedings using a mix of bibliotherapy and experiences from students who have experienced divorce for a longer period of time. Objectives

Students will gain a discrete understanding of the concept of divorce Students will be able to accurately judge within reason where their parents may be

in the divorce process Students will be able to define what their role is in the divorce. In addition, they will

understand that if there is “fault,” none lies with them. Students will understand what their parent’s role in the divorce is

Lesson Procedure

1. Dinosaurs Divorce—Read pages 4-‐10 of Dinosaurs Divorce (Appendix B). Be sure to discuss and appropriately explain each frame in the book as you come to it. Points of Discussion:

a. What does “divorce” mean to each student? What does it mean to the dino family?

b. Why did the parents in the book get divorced? Similar/different to any families in the group?

c. How has each child’s relationship with their family changed as a result of the divorce?

d. Whose “fault,” if any, is the divorce? What is the child’s role in the divorce? 2. Whose Job Is It?—Pass out the “Whose Job Is It” worksheet. Have students draw a

line for each item to either “parents” or “child,” depending on whose job the selected item is.

Connect this back to the Dinosaurs Divorce book. Look at whose role is whose in the book and relate that to the children’s’ lives.


Overview This session will bring the student’s emotions regarding the divorce into focus. Students will help each other introspect and discover how they feel about their role in the family dynamic. Objectives

Students will be able to identify and appropriately express any emotions they feel brought on by the divorce

Students will begin to develop strategies to deal with any negative emotions they are feeling

Reduce children’s anxiety and frustration developed due to the divorce Lesson Procedure

1. Dinosaurs Divorce—Reread pages 6-‐7 and read pages 11-‐12 of Dinosaurs Divorce. Discuss how each child feels about their family’s situation and how those feelings are valid, even though other children may feel differently.

Encourage students whose families are further along in the divorce process to explicate on their experiences and feelings. Direct these experiences to the students who are in the midst of the process.

2. Changing Feelings—Pass out the feelings worksheets (Appendicies D & E). a. First, discuss each picture on the feelings page and what each emotion entails.

Discuss how these emotions could carry over into school life—e.g. if you are distracted in school, your grades may suffer.

b. Have students cut out and glue the various emotions to the second feelings worksheet, separating their emotions into the two columns. After it is complete, talk about how their feelings have changed and why.


Overview In session 4, students will understand the immediate results of the divorce. For the children, the most likely impactful result will be the transition into two houses. Children will learn what to expect having two homes and will try to learn strategies to reconcile the split in their lives. Students will understand what they can do to ease the transition and provide focal points from which they can draw happiness in times of despair. Lastly, children will understand what to do if the divorce produces fighting between parents. Objectives

Students will understand that (usually) divorced parents live in different houses and that they will likely have two homes

Students will find ways to connect the two homes and identify items in each home that they can use to promote consistency

Students will identify activities that they enjoy doing with both parents Students will come away with an “Emergency Plan” in case there is physical or

verbal fighting between parents Lesson Procedure

1. Dinosaurs Divorce—Read pages 13-‐21 of Dinosaurs Divorce. Be sure to discuss each frame and the impact that it can have on the student.

a. Discuss with students why parents feel the need to move into separate houses.

b. Draw on experiences from more knowledgeable students who already have lived in two homes. What is it like? How do they manage two rooms? Any logistical details are welcomed.

2. Awesome Times with Parents—Pass out the worksheet where students list what they like to do with each parent (Appendix F). Have students draw or list activities that they have enjoyed or would enjoy doing with each parent. Have students share with the group their experiences and plans.

3. Packing for A Fun Time—Pass out the suitcases worksheet. Have students “pack their suitcases” for everything they would need in order to do the things they listed with each parent. Share with the group. Show students that it would be a good idea to keep a bag with all of their “essential” toys and comfort items to transport between homes.

4. Crisis Plan—Hand out a blank sheet of paper and ask children to draw each of their rooms (or one room if family not yet divorced) on either side of the paper. Talk about how parents express anger when they are mad at each other. Have students find a “safe zone” in their room where they can go if their parents start fighting and mark it on their paper. Explain to students that this is where they should go if their parents start fighting, and stay there until the fight is over. Talk about calling 911 if the fight gets physical. Tell the child to list things that they can put in their “safe zone” to make them feel comfortable during the crisis.


Overview This session should focus on the different types of families that one can have. Focus should begin to move to post-‐divorce issues—i.e. families that result after a divorce. This lesson will focus also on parents dating other people, who could possibly become stepparents. Termination should also be brought up in this session. Objectives

Students will be able to list and define other types of families besides their own nuclear family

Students will understand the role of stepparents and will be more aptly able to identify and cope with their emotions toward potential new family members.

Lesson Procedure 1. Dinosaurs Divorce—Read pages 24-‐32 of Dinosaurs Divorce. This portion

discusses implications for children when parents start seeing other people and how to deal with emotions that result for the children.

a. Discuss the feelings that each child may have if their parents were to start seeing other people. Draw on experiences from the more divorce-‐experienced children.

b. How would children react to potential stepbrother/sisters? c. Discuss and list types of families. Some examples to be sure to cover include

nuclear families, single-‐parent families, same-‐sex families, extended families, and foster families.

2. Letter to Parents—Pass out to students two pieces of blank paper. Have students write a letter to their parents about how they feel. Suggest including the following:

a. How the child felt before the divorce and how he/she feels now b. What the child sees as his/her role in the divorce c. What the child wants to see as his/her ideal new situation (short of reunion)

3. Termination—The group’s should be brought up at this point by reminding students that the sixth and final meeting is next. Have students come to the next group meeting with suggestions for support after the group has ended. Examples could include:

Parents Grandparents/Extended Family Counselor Trusted Friends Journaling


Overview This final session will focus on termination and a recap of the work that the group has done. The group should focus on the process that it has undertaken to reach the point that it is at now. The group will review all of the activities that it has done and infer them into the near to distant future. Support systems will be established for aid after the group has ended. Objectives

Students will be able to recap the work that they have done by contributing to the BEARy Special Families group booklet correctly

Students will understand that this meeting is the last session for the group and that after this meeting the group is dismantled permanently

Students will understand that there are supports in place for further assistance. They will be able to demonstrate knowledge of how to access these support systems in the event that they become necessary.

Lesson Procedure 1. Support Systems—Begin with a discussion about the various support systems that

the students came up with since the group’s last meeting. Relate these support systems to the rest of the group and apply them to practical resources that students can use after today’s meeting.

2. BEARy Special Families Booklet— Explain to students that you need their help. Tell them that they have done such an amazing job in their BBES BEARy Special Families group that you want them to make a booklet to help other students going through divorce.

a. Distribute two questions to each child using the questions page on the booklet worksheet (Appendix H). Go around to each member and have them read their first question. Come up with answers as a group, and have each child write an answer for the question with bullet points or draw pictures.

b. Go around the room until questions have been answered. Then, on the main cardstock portion of the book, have each student paste their questions into the book together as a group.

c. Thank them for their work and let them know that future students will think this book is awesome and will find it extremely helpful.

3. Post-‐Test—Distribute the same Pre/Post Test worksheet (Appendix A). Have students complete.

4. Termination—Have students go around and say any parting words they may have for the group. Remind them of their support systems that they have in place and end the group.

Evaluation

Evaluation will consist of a pre and posttest format. Appendix A illustrates a formal

evaluation that will be used at various points in the group process. Measurements should

improve over time as work is done within the group and the child develops a more

comprehensive and intricate understanding of the workings behind divorce. The

evaluation will show identification of resources, support network, basic understandings of

divorce process, child-‐parent roles, and implications for future family constellations, to

name a few. An effective group will meet all objectives listed in each of the curricula and

will show significant improvement in the post-‐group evaluation when compared to the

pretest. The counselor should measure participants against their own tests, as well as take

median scores for the group as a whole for each pre and posttest to evaluate the overall

effectiveness of the group structure itself.

Provisions for post-‐group work are built into the group process structure. Children

will learn to identify and access resources for a support network on their own. In addition,

students will come away from the group with a self-‐generated list of support network

resources and how to access each one. Students or parents who believe that the child has

been harmed or not progressed as a result of the group may set up individual counseling

with the school counselor, or talk to school administration about further directions. In

addition, the counselor will have a list of outside counseling resources to offer if the

parents would like to seek external assistance.

Ethics

In alignment with the goals of the Association for Specialists in Group Work, the

BEARy Special Families group uses the diversity of children of different genders, in

different stages of the divorce process, and with different family constellations. The

growth of the individuals within the group is based on the value of sharing different

perspectives, as group members are creating a sense of unity through their mutual

experience of divorce. Specifically, in starting the BEARy Special Families group, the

screening process is a way for the counselor to assess the needs of the population of

children at the school. Divorce is common, and children are likely to be reacting in

different ways to this family transition; providing a school-‐based counseling group for

these children in need is the responsibility for the counselor.

The goals set for the BEARy Special Families group, of helping children to

understand what it means to have a transitioning family and how they can gain support

from peers who have also experienced similar challenges, are in place for the benefit of the

group members. Having a clearly defined set of objectives for the children in accordance to

the ASGW guidelines is a way to provide the group members with a routine and stability, as

well as an understanding of what they can expect from the process. The person-‐centered

approach that will guide this group is ethically appropriate for working with children of

divorce. Studies have shown the importance of providing an atmosphere of support and

genuineness to allow for the emotional expression that is necessary for children’s growth

during divorce.

Because the BEARy Special Families group is based on the qualities of groups that

are supported by research, the interventions match with activities that have been

demonstrated to benefit children of divorce. With the careful implementation of the goals

and guidelines of the group, it is likely that the students involved will benefit from the

positive effects participation can have. On the other hand, it is important to remember that

research in the field is constantly being updated, so it is important to update activities and

lesson plans accordingly. Finally, this group plan for children of divorce includes a plan for

the evaluation of the program to ensure that students are receiving positive benefits from

the experience. Even if the group follows the suggestions of current research, it is

important that the specific children within a counselor’s school are getting their needs met

adequately and appropriately.

References

DeLucia-‐Waack, J. L. (2011). Children of divorce groups. In G. Greif & P. Ephross

(Eds.), Group Work with Populations at Risk (pp. 930=-‐114). Oxford: Oxford

University Press, Inc.

Kim, H. S. (2011). Consequences of parental divorce for child development. American

Sociological Review, 76(3), 487-‐511. doi: 10.1177/0003122411407748

Pedro-‐Carroll, J. L. (2005). Fostering resilience in the aftermath of divorce: The role of

evidence-‐based programs for children. Family Court Review, 43(1), 52-‐64.

Potter, D. (2010). Psychosocial well-‐being and the relationship between divorce and

children's academic achievement. Journal of Marriage & Family, 72, 933-‐946. doi:

10.1111/j.1741-‐3737.2010.00740.x

Rose, S. R. (2009). A review of effectiveness of group work with children of divorce. Social

Work with Groups, 32(3), 222-‐229.

Appendix A

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Appendix B

Krasny Brown, L., & Brown, M. (1986). Dinosaurs Divorce. United States: Joy Street Books.

Appendix C

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Appendix D

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Appendix E

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Appendix F

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Appendix G

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Appendix H

(Continued on next page)

! BEARy Special Families!

A BOOK BY:

Bethany Bagley Palmer Ware Lisa Addison Emily Warren Kerry Avakian Kathryn Aldrich Song Eun Han Sarah Epstein Ryan Schuyer Derick Williams

With a little help from: Mr. D.

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