Divorce Mediation Basics - Ben Bosley · •All That’s Required To Make A Divorce Mediation...

Divorce MediationPresented By Ben Bosley

Burlington, VTMarch 2019

Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights Reserved

My Background

• Bachelors of Business Administration, University of Massachusetts, 2001• Masters of Mediation & Applied Conflict Studies,

Champlain College, 2014In Private Practice Since 2017 Offering: • Mediation of Divorce & Post-divorce Disputes• Mediation of Buyer & Seller Contract Disputes• Organization Development Workshops


Dispute Resolution Methods Costs vs. Benefits Of Each

ARBITRATIONNEGOTIATION MEDIATION LITIGATION

More Adversarial & Greater Expense


What is Mediation?

A Voluntary Negotiation Between Two Parties To Reach A Resolution Facilitated By A ‘Mediator’ That Is A Neutral, To Assist The Resolution Process.

Mediators Help Identify Issues And Use Skills To Keep The Parties On Track To Resolution. Mediators Do Not Make Decisions About The Issues, The Parties Themselves Make Them.


Mediators Help The Parties By….

• Defining An Issue Or A Proposal In A Way That It’s Easier To Solve

• Focusing On Needs And Interests.

• Moving Beyond Negative Emotions & Derailment

• Working Out Specific Solutions, Rather Than Vague Ones

• Drafting And Finalizing An Agreement In Writing That Includes The Solutions Set Forth For Implementation By The Parties

Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights

Reserved

The Mediator Must….

• Be Impartial • Explain The Process And Ground Rules • Maintain Confidentiality• Make Clear The Process Is Voluntary• Make Sure The Parties Feel Safe And Unthreatened• Assist Parties In The Most Efficient Use Of Time• Inform You Of Their Mediation Training And Experience• Disclose Any Conflicts Of Interests Or Biases• Give You An Estimate Of The Time And Fees Involved


• May Settle All The Issues• Confidential • Subjectively Fair• Maintain Legal Counsel• Improves Communication & Mitigate Future Conflicts• Much Less Expensive Then The Alternatives (Ex. Litigation)


The Most Common Divorce Issues For Mediation

PropertyDivision

Child Custody

And Parenting

Child Support

Ongoing Family

Relations


Property Division

What sorts of things are divided? • The House, Any Other Real Estate You Own, • Your Vehicles, • Your Bank Accounts, • Your Retirement Accounts, • Your Credit Card Debt, Etc.


Child Custody & Parenting

Parenting Plan: I like to tell people to think of parental rights and responsibilities as a “parenting plan.” Because that’s what it is! It’s a plan that you and the other parent come up with (or a judge does if necessary) for taking care of the kids. These include:• Physical Living Arrangements• Parent–child Contact• Legal Responsibilities• Medical And Dental Care And Health Insurance• Travel Arrangements• Communicating With Each Other• Resolving Disagreements


What Are Some Examples Of Parenting Plans?

• Shared. If the two of you agree to this, your parenting plan can be as simple as this: shared legal responsibilities and shared physical responsibilities, as determined by the parents. • 50/50. Your parenting plan can be split. You can share legal

responsibilities (decision making) and split time with the kids• Every other weekend. Another common parenting plan has legal

responsibilities and most overnights with one parent, and the other parent spends every other weekend with the kids.


Child Support

• The first question for figuring out child support is which parent has physical responsibilities for the kids. For purposes of child support, all this means is which parent has more overnight visits? • If you know your monthly income, the other parent's monthly

income, and how many overnights you have, you can figure out yourself how much the child support will probably be on the Vermont Office of Child Support Website Calculator


Ongoing Family Relations

• Process for making changes to the parenting schedule or other parts of the parenting plan (Consider a process for reviewing arrangements as circumstances of you and your child change.)

• Method for resolving disagreements over the parenting plan

• Arrangements for holidays• What if one parent proposes to move?• Decisions about medical or dental care

• Decisions about any testing or assessments (Consider assessments for special accommodations in school, psychological or psycho-educational testing.

• Decisions about any choice or change in school, school program, special educational needs, tutoring etc. (How will these decisions be made?)

• Extra-curricular activities (How many? What type?)

• Notice of travelling with the child (Will notice of travel be given to the other parent?

• Involvement of new partners


Getting Started Intake & The Divorce Mediation Process

OPENING STATEMENT

INDIVIDUAL TIME DISCUSSION ISSUE

IDENTIFICATION NEGOTIATION AGREEMENT

INTAKE

Separate Meetings(At Any Time)


Intake Goals

• Sharing Of Information Between The Mediator And Parties • Determining Appropriateness Of Mediation • Developing Clear Expectations Of The

Mediator And The Parties• Accurately Define The Issue(s)• Build Trust Among The Parties And Mediator• Prepare The Parties For The Mediation


Sample Intake Questions

• “What would you like to accomplish through mediation?”• “What are some of your biggest concerns

about mediation?”• “Have you discussed any of these issues

with the other party?”• “What happens when you tried to discuss

these issues?”


Mediator’s Opening Statement• Appointment Of Mediator & Objectives

Of Mediation• Legal Representation• Voluntariness• Confidentiality• Schedule Of Mediation Sessions• Settlement Authority & Agreement• Fees


Uninterrupted Time For The Parties

A Way To Begin The Mediation That Allows For:

• Each Person To Tell Their Story & Be Heard

• The Parties To Communicate Their Feelings, Needs And Interests

• Each Person To Receive Individualized Attention

• Learning Of New Things

• Clearing Up Of Any Misunderstandings


Exchange Between the Parties

Conversation Among The Parties That Allows For:• Asking Questions Of Each Other &

Clarification • Talking About What’s Already Happened And

The Consequences• Reexamine Ones Own Needs And Interests• Reflecting On New Information• Summarizing What’s Worked And Not

Worked


Identifying The Issues A problem frame is a statement of problems both parties want to work out: • Focused on the interests and needs of both

parties• Often Ties together common interests• Gives parties a focus point from which to begin

working


Examples Of Positive Problem Frames

• Living arrangements for the kids that will provide for their best interests andwill be fair to both parents• How assets and liabilities will be

divided that will be fair and meet each others’ financial needs• How ongoing issues will be resolved

(such as holiday schedules) that will be practical and fair for everyone


Negotiating An Agreement

The Mediator Helps The Parties:• Prioritize And Deal With Simpler Issues First• Express Their Opinions, Positions, And

What’s Important To Them• Listen To Each Other In Ways That Will Make

A Resolution More Likely• Understand Your Spouse’s Needs And Point

Of View• See The Mutual Benefits To Compromise


Writing & Signing The Agreement• After you sign the agreement, you or

the other party may bring it to court and ask the judge to include its terms in a court order.

• After that happens, both parties must follow the court’s order. The order will remain in effect until the judge agrees to modify it.

• Only you can decide whether a draft agreement is right for youCopyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights

Reserved

Is Mediation Right For You?Cases That Are Most Successful In Mediation

Where Both Parties Are Willing & Interested In:• Cooperative Resolution Process• Self Determined Outcome• Controlling The Risks Of Litigation.• Economical And Expeditious Resolution.• Privacy And Confidentiality.


All In All

• All That’s Required To Make A Divorce Mediation Successful Is For Both People To Show Up Willing To Negotiate And Be Open To Compromise. • Don’t Reject Mediation Just Because You And Your Spouse See A

Particular Issue Very Differently—in Other Words, Don’t Give Up Before You’ve Begun. • Mediation Is A Powerful Process And Many Cases That Seem Impossible

To Resolve At The Beginning End Up In A Settlement If Everyone Is Committed To The Process. • Mediation Is Voluntary. If You’re Not Happy With The Process, You Can

End It At Any Time, And Go To Court.Copyright 2019 - Pinnacle Resolutions, LLC - All Rights

Reserved

Questions & Comments

Ben Bosley Mediator(802) 881-7909 [email protected]


Divorce Mediation Basics - Ben Bosley · •All That’s Required To Make A Divorce Mediation...

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