Divorce For Any Cause?

Matthew 19:3-12

Not A New Question

• Asked of Jesus (vv. 3-6)

• Silenced His enemies (vv. 7-9)

• Silenced them

Some Not Satisfied

• Clear to the disciples (v. 10)

• Believed the answer was restrictive

• Accept the condition or remain single (vv. 11, 12)

Objectives

• See God’s attitude toward divorce

• Understand the context of Paul’s answers

• Know the limits in place today

God Hates Divorce

• Basis of everything–Crucial point (Malachi 2:14-16)

–Divorced Israel after efforts to “save the marriage” (Jeremiah 3:1-10)

–He had been a faithful husband (Jeremiah 31:31, 32)

Our Attitude?

• We should hate it as well–Instead some look for loopholes

–We either respect His Word or cease to be His people

–Theories ranging from no right to divorce to divorce and remarrying for any cause

Understandable

• Law not complicated–Man and woman bound by God

(Genesis 2:18-24)

–Death releases the survivor to remarry (Romans 7:1-3)

–May divorce an adulterous mate and remarry (Matthew 5:32; 19:9)

Situation At Corinth

• We have the answers–Must infer the questions

–Teaching is true regardless of the exact question

Several Questions

• In a time of distress (v. 26)–Better to remain unmarried?

Answer: Some can (vv. 1-9)–What about one married to a Christian?

Answer: Stay married (vv. 10, 11)

–What about one married to an unbeliever? Answer: Stay married (vv. 12-24)

Several Questions (Continued)

• In time of distress (v. 26)–What about marrying off a virgin

daughter? Answer: Not a sin (vv. 25-38)

–What about a widow marrying? Answer: Marry “in the Lord” (vv. 38, 39)

Divorce For Any Cause?

• Position set forth as follows–Divorce but can’t remarry

–Based on Paul’s statement to the married (vv. 10, 11)

–Options imply the cause was O.K.

–Not only optional but necessary at times to divorce for the “kingdom of heaven’s sake”

Response

• What’s wrong with this?–Causes another to sin (Matthew 5:32)

–Note: not just where remarriage is under consideration (Matthew 19:9)

–Based on emotions

–Keeps one from suffering (1 Timothy 3:12; 1 Peter 2:18-25; 3:1)

–Who decides which causes are right?

In An Unscriptural Marriage

• Break an unscriptural marriage–“A person may have to divorce his

mate to break an unscriptural marriage (Matthew 19:9) In this case, one is divorcing for the kingdom of heaven’s sake.”

In An Unscriptural Marriage

• Response–The list begins with a situation unlike

any of the others. Divorcing someone to whom they are not bound is what John the Baptist was trying to get Herod to do since he was married, but not bound, to Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife (Mark 6:17, 18)

To Become or Remain A Christian

• Becoming a Christian–“A person may have to leave his mate

to become or remain a Christian. (Matthew 10:34-38; Luke 14:26; 18:29, 30; 1 Corinthians 7:15) In this case, one is divorcing for the kingdom of heaven’s sake.”

To Become or Remain A Christian

• Response–Three of the passages cited do teach

us that we must love God more than our family. The remaining passage discusses what happens when an unbeliever is not content to dwell with his Christian mate. However, the Christian is passive in the divorce that may occur.

Irresponsible Mate

• Irresponsible mate–“A person may be in a marriage in

which his mate runs up bills which he has no intention of paying. In this case, one’s responsibility to God to pay one’s bills would demand that she not be supportive of her mate’s ungodly behavior. (Romans 13:8)”

Irresponsible Mate

• Response–The verse cited certainly teaches us to

be responsible for our debts, but it says nothing about what to do if one’s mate is irresponsible. Furthermore, who will decide how much debt is enough to justify a divorce?

Abusive Mate

• Abusive mate–“A mate may be abusive to the

children (beating). A person has a responsibility to bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) To fulfill that responsibility, may require him to leave his mate to provide for the children.”

Abusive Mate

• Response–Emotional arguments cannot be used

in place of Scripture. While we should be sympathetic toward anyone in such a situation, we must not add another cause to the one God has given. The author assumes this is the only way to solve the problem.

Physical and Emotional Health

• For physical and emotional health–“There are some cases in which one

must leave to have physical and emotional health. One’s obligation to serve God would require him to preserve his physical and emotional well being”

Physical and Emotional Health

• Response–Emotional arguments are substituted

for Scripture, and assumes there are no other remedies possible. We should be sympathetic to anyone in such a situation, but we must also recall that we are going to suffer for doing what is right. (1 Peter 2:20) Legal means are also available.

Alienation and Hostility

• Because of alienation and hostility–“Sometimes a couple becomes so

alienated from each other, the hostilities have reached such a point, they must live apart. (Proverbs 21:9; 25:24; 1 Corinthians 7:15, 16) We cannot force them to stay together. The Scriptures do not teach a person…”

Alienation and Hostility

• Alienation and hostility (continued)–“…that he must become a doormat to

his partner to keep the marriage together. A person who becomes another’s doormat will do more to destroy his mate’s love and respect for him that anything else he can do. A person has to maintain his own…”

Alienation and Hostility

• Alienation and hostility (concluded)–“…self-esteem to have proper Bible

love. One is to love his neighbor ‘as himself’ and the husband is to love his wife ‘as his own body.’ (Matthew 22:39; Ephesians 5:33)”

Alienation and Hostility

• Response–Notice that he now says, “They must

live apart.” The passages speak of bad situations in marriages, but do not prescribe the remedy he suggests. Why did Peter tell wives to win their husbands by dwelling with them in a proper way, not divorcing them?

I Corinthians 7:10, 11

• Was Paul giving permission?–We are told that the fact that the

alternatives imply that the reason must have been right.

–This is neither logically necessary nor scriptural

1 Corinthians 7:10, 11

• What was he teaching?–Some may have already divorced

their mates without scriptural cause

–He gave them their alternatives

Conclusion

• God hates divorce

• Be content with God’s revelation

• Extenuating circumstances do not change the law