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DIRECTORY OF BEREAVEMENT

AND LOSS

Contacts and Suggested Reading List

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Foreword Effective strategies for managing bereavement and loss take a whole school approach. There is a clear policy context for promoting the wellbeing of bereaved children and young people through Personal, Social and Health Education (PHSE), the Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning (SEAL) Resource, and the achievement of Healthy Schools status. Over the years, members of the Educational Psychology Service have been networking and compiling information on the range of organisations across East Sussex providing bereavement services to children, young people and their families. This is in order to assist families, multi-agency practitioners, early years and school personnel in identifying resources and in accessing appropriate support.

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Child Bereavement Charity Geographical Coverage National Telephone 0800 02 88 40 Website https://www.childbereavementuk.org/ E-mail enquiries@childbereavementuk.org support@childbereavementuk.org Types of Services

• Support for families, children and young people, and professionals in coping with bereavement

• Support for when a parent passes away

• Helpline (number above) providing confidential support, information, and guidance to families and professionals.

• Training for professionals on how to support bereaved pupils, staff, and children and young people

• School support: bereavement guide, a range of training options, guidance films, and sudden death amongst many more

• Various online resources including coronavirus support Last updated 11 June 2020

CRUSE Bereavement Care/Hope Again Address Cruse Bereavement Care The William and Patricia Venton Centre Junction Road Eastbourne BN21 3QY Geographical Coverage East Sussex Website https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-help/local-services/south-east/east-sussex & https://www.hopeagain.org.uk/ (youth website) Telephone 01323 642942 - National Cruse Helpline 08088081677 helpline@cruse.org.uk E-mail eastsussex@cruse.org.uk Types of Services

• Confidential support to bereaved people of all ages, free of charge

• One-to-one bereavement support/counselling for all ages

• Coronavirus support

• Training in staff awareness, developing bereavement policy, developing bespoke packages

Last updated 11 June 2020

Demelza House Childrens Hospice Geographical Coverage East Sussex, Kent, and South East London Telephone 01323 446 461 Website https://www.demelza.org.uk E-mail info@demelza.org.uk Types of Services

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• Pre and post bereavement support for children and families with a child with a life-limiting condition

• Coronavirus support

• One-to-one support

• Grandparents support

• Sibling support

• Special reassurance events throughout the year Last updated 11 June 2020

Dragonflies Bereavement Project – FSN Address St Nicholas Centre, 66 London Road, St Leonards on Sea, TN37 6AS Website https://www.fsncharity.co.uk/projects/dragonflies-bereavement-project Geographical Coverage Hastings, St Leonards, Rother, and Wealden Telephone 01424 855222 E-mail fhamilton@fsncharity.co.uk Types of Services

• Initial home visit and assessment • 8 sessions of peer support groups for children and young people aged 5 – 18

years • Bereavement awareness for parents and carers in 8 sessions of peer support

groups • One-to-one counselling for 15 years plus • Signposting and support for Early Years bereavement • Support for families coping with pre-bereavement • Telephone and email support

Last updated 11 June 2020

East Sussex County Council Education Psychology Service Geographical Coverage East Sussex Website https://czone.eastsussex.gov.uk/inclusion-and-send/isend-services/educational-psychology-service-eps/what-is-eps/ E-mail eps@eastsussex.gov.uk Types of Services

• Immediate debriefing to schools in response to a critical incident

• School based training in relation to bereavement support

• Workshops for parents in relation to supporting children who have experienced bereavement

• Guidance to school on development of bereavement policies and protocols

• Modelling of group activities for use with children in school who have experience bereavement

• Advice and support to school staff on supporting CYP who have been bereaved.

Last updated 11 June 2020

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Fegans Address 160 St James’ Road, Tunbridge Wells, Kent, TN1 2HE Geographical Coverage London and South East Telephone 01892 538288

E-mail info@fegans.org.uk

Website https://www.fegans.org.uk/counselling-support/ Types of Services

• Support for children ages 4-18 and their families

• Individual counselling, play therapy, and family therapy

• Support for abuse, anger, anxiety, bereavement, bullying, depression, and self-harm

• Parent support courses and counselling

• Training Last updated 11 June 2020

Grief Encounter Geographical Coverage Nationwide Telephone Helpline - 0808 802 0111, Main Office: 0208 3718 455 E-mail contact@griefencounter.org.uk Website https://www.griefencounter.org.uk/ Types of Services

• Support for children and their families: family visits, assessments, support planning, linking with bereaved families, one-to-one counselling, and residential camps

• Coronavirus support

• Training for professionals

• School support resources

• Training for schools, colleges, corporates, and professionals

• Youth support – E-Counselling (14 and over), ‘Grieftalk’, memorial support, books, and playlists.

Last updated 12 June 2020

St Michael’s Bereavement Service

Address St Michael’s Hospice, 25 Upper Maze Hill, St Leonards On Sea, TN38 OLB Geographical Coverage Hastings and Rother Telephone 01424 456361 Website www.stmichaelshospice.com/bereavement & https://www.escis.org.uk/advice/bereavement/st-michaels-hospice-bereavement-service/ E-mail bereavement@stmichaelshospice.com Contact number 01424 456361 Types of Services

• Confidential service to anyone aged 18 or over

• One-to-one counselling and group support Last updated 11 June 2020

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St Wilfrid’s Hospice Bereavement Service

Geographical Coverage Seaford, Hailsham, Uckfield, Heathfield, Pevensey, and Eastbourne Telephone 01323 434257 (1:1 Support, Ella Williams, Family Support Co-ordinator), 01323 434200 (General) E-mail hospice@stwhospice.org or stwh.spcreferrals@nhs.net Website https://www.stwhospice.org/1-to-1-bereavement-support Types of Services

• Currently extending bereavement support to everyone in the community due to COVID-19 (previously those linked to the hospice)

• Bereavement support one-to-one and in groups, including adults and children aged 6-17 years

• Short-term bereavement-focused counselling support to any bereaved child in the catchment area

• Online resources including children’s workbooks Last updated 12 June 2020

The Mix

Geographical Coverage Nationwide Telephone Helpline: 0808 808 4994 Website https://www.themix.org.uk/ Types of Services

• Support for children and young people (under 25) with any troubles

• One-to-one webchat open daily 4-11pm

• Counselling service

• Email service

• Online support articles and video content Last updated 12 June 2020

Winston’s Wish - The Charity for Bereaved Children Address Head Office, Westmorland House, 80-86 Bath Road, CHELTENHAM, Gloucestershire, GL53 7JT Geographical Coverage UK Website www.winstonswish.org Telephone 08088 020 021 E-mail info@winstonswish.org.uk Types of Services

• National Helpline providing bereavement support for parents, carers, and professionals who are looking for childhood bereavement support

• Therapeutic support to bereaved children and young people by phone, email, and face-to-face

• Support for adults bereaved as children

• Drop-in sessions

• Coronavirus support

• Online chat (Wednesday to Friday 12-4pm)

Updated June 2020

• Online resources

• Training for professionals

• Publications and resources

SUGGESTED READING BOOK LIST

Under 5s Always Remember (3-7 years) Written by CeCe Meng (2016) After Old Turtle swims his last swim and breathes his last breath, and the waves gently take him away, his friends lovingly remember how he impacted each and every one of them. As the sea animals think back on how much better Old Turtle made their lives and their world, they realize that he is not truly gone, because his memory and legacy will last forever. Dear Grandma Bunny Written and Illustrated by Dick Bruna (1996) Suitable for very young children, this book tells the story of what happened and how Miffy felt and coped when Grandma died. Goodbye Mousie Written by Robie Harris (2003) A little boy's pet mouse dies and his parents help him to understand what death means by answering his questions. Granpa Written by John Burningham (2003) This picture book shows happy memories of a girl and her grandfather. The last picture shows his chair empty - children may need some explanation of what might have happened. Heaven Written by Nicholas Allan (2006) Dill, the dog, knows his time is up, so he packs his case and tells Lily, his owner, that he's off "up there". "Can I come too?" asks Lily. "Er...not yet," replies Dill. While he is waiting for the angels to collect him, Dill explains to Lily what he thinks heaven is like: hundreds of lamp posts to pee against, lots of whiffy things to smell and bones everywhere - with meat on them! But, Lily completely disagrees; she thinks heaven is quite different. Luckily, they agree to disagree just in time for a fond, and very poignant, last goodbye. I Miss You: A First Look at Death (4-7 years) Written by Pat Thomas & illustrated by Lesley Harker (2001) This bright and colourful picture book very simply talks about life and death. It briefly covers a range of issues such as why people die, how you may feel when someone dies and what happens afterwards. It includes questions for the reader to answer

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about their own experiences and a section at the back for adults on how to best use the book. An excellent educational book, which could be used as a starting point for discussion. Remembering My Brother Written by Ginny Perkins and Leon Morris (1996) A boy finds ways to remember his brother in positive ways. The Best Day of the Week Written by Hannah Cole (1997) Angela and Carole always spend Saturdays with their grandparents. Their Granny becomes ill and dies, and the book shows the family coping and managing to have fun, while still remembering her. The Boy Who Didn’t Want to Be Sad (4-8 years) Written by Robert Goldblatt (2004) This book is about a boy who didn’t want to be sad, so he tried to get rid of everything that made him sad, but what he found out was that sadness is a very big lesson in happiness. This book helps children face and celebrate their emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, as part of the whole experience of being alive. The Goodbye Book (3-6 years) Written by Todd Parr (2015) Through the lens of a pet fish who has lost his companion, Todd Parr tells a moving and accessible story about saying goodbye. Touching upon the host of emotions children experience, Todd reminds readers that it's okay not to know all the answers, and that someone will always be there to support them. An invaluable resource for life's toughest moments. The Grandpa Tree (3 years+) Written by Mike Donahue (2001) This book is an elementary tale of the life cycle of a tree and is also a life lesson for people. The Red Woolen Blanket (2-4 years) Written by Bob Graham (1996) Even before Julia was born, she was given a red woollen blanket that she used "right from the start." PW said, "Graham's colourful paintings show a humorous, tender regard for a pre-schooler’s inexplicable attachment to a particular object." Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children Written by Doris Stickney (2002) This book uses the analogy of a water bug transforming into a dragonfly to illustrate the idea of life after death. Written from a Christian viewpoint, children may need an adult to help understand the relevance of the story. What Do We Think About Death? Written by Karen Bryant-Mole (2000) Talks about life, death, and the feelings associated with bereavement. Useful as a general education book as well as for bereaved children.

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What Does Dead Mean? (4-7 years). Written by Caroline Jay and Jenni Thomas (2012) This is an illustrated book that guides children gently through 17 of the 'big' questions they often ask about death and dying. Suitable for children aged 4+, this is an ideal book for parents and carers to read with their children, as well as teachers, therapists, and counsellors working with young children.

When Uncle Bob Died Written by Althea (2001) A simple book about a boy whose uncle dies from an illness. Explains the facts around death and explores some of the feelings people have. Where Do They Go? (3-7 years) Written by Julia Alvarez (2016) This book is a poem for children that gently addresses the emotional side of death. The book asks, "When somebody dies, where do they go?/Do they go where the wind goes when it blows? ... Do they wink back at me when I wish on a star? Do they whisper, 'You're perfect, just as you are'? ..."

5 – 12s A Birthday Present for Daniel: A Child’s Story of Loss Written by Juliet Rothman (2001) Told by a young girl whose brother, Daniel, has died, she talks about how things have changed in the family. She also talks about the things she does when she is sad and how these differ from other members of her family. This book has small black and white pictures with minimal text. It would be particularly useful to broach the subject of birthdays as it describes how the family remembered Daniel on his birthday. Always and Forever Written by Alan Durant (2003) Otter, Mole and Hare miss Fox when he falls ill and dies. They stay at home and don’t want to talk about him because it makes them sadder. Then Squirrel visits and reminds them of all the fun times they had together. They all find a way to remember Fox and get on with their lives. Colourful, detailed pictures in this book emphasise the importance of holding on to memories. Always Remember (3-7 years) Written by CeCe Meng (2016) After Old Turtle swims his last swim and breathes his last breath, and the waves gently take him away, his friends lovingly remember how he impacted each and every one of them. As the sea animals think back on how much better Old Turtle made their lives and their world, they realize that he is not truly gone, because his memory and legacy will last forever.

Am I Like My Daddy?

Updated June 2020

Written by Marcy Blesy (2019) This beautifully illustrated and poignant book will help children bereaved when very young who struggle to remember the parent who died. Grace, in the process of learning about who her father was through the eyes of others, learns about who she is today. Badger’s Parting Gifts Written by Susan Varley (1992) Badger is old and knows he is going to die soon. When he does, the other animals think they will be sad forever, but they begin to talk about the memories they have of the things Badger taught them and learn to cope with his death. A lovely picture book that emphasises the importance of remembering the person who has died. Beginnings and Endings with Lifetimes In Between: A Beautiful Way to Explain Life and Death to Children Written by Bryan Mellonie & Robert Ingpen (1997) This thought-provoking book has large pictures complemented with small sections of text. It clearly explains about life and death focussing on plants, animals and insects before moving on to people. It emphasises that death is part of the life cycle and is natural and normal whenever it occurs. A simple book with a powerful message. Charlotte's Web Written by E B White (2003) A classic story of Wilbur the pig and other animal friends of Fern who lives on a farm. Charlotte the spider saves Wilbur's life, but dies herself after her babies are born. Death: What’s Happening? Written by Karen Bryant–Mole (1994) This factual book has clear text and large photos. It uses stories of young people to discuss issues surrounding death such as feeling frightened, the funeral and the future. It includes advice on how to feel better and cope with difficult situations after someone has died. Using straightforward language, this book may reassure the reader there are other young people who have had someone important to them die and answer some of their questions and concerns.

Dogger

Written by Shirley Hughes (2009). A sensitively written story, with which adults and children will identify. It is about a little boy who loses his favourite toy “Dogger” and describes his feelings and responses as a result. Useful as a gentle introduction to loss.

Drop Dead Written by Babette Cole (1998) A humorous book with comic-like pictures, two ‘bald old wrinklies’ tell their grandchildren about their life growing up and how one day they will just drop-down dead. It is a light-hearted book about life that emphasises the normality and inevitability of dying. This book is written very directly. Flamingo Dream

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Written by Donna Jo Napoli (2003) In this bright and colourful book, a young boy tells the story of his Dad who is seriously ill and dies soon after a trip to Florida to see the place where he grew up. The collage style illustrations capture the things the boy collects to remind him of his Dad. A sensitive, but honest book which emphasises the importance of memories. Fred Written by Posy Simmonds (1998) A light-hearted book with detailed illustrations about Fred, Nick, and Sophie’s lazy cat that dies. After burying him in the garden, they wake up at night to find all the cats in the area have come to say goodbye to Fred, the famous singer! This funny and touching story would be useful to introduce death to children. Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying Written by Joyce Mills (1993) A simple story suitable for all young children. This is an illustrated story for children who are terminally ill or facing the death of a loved one. Gentle Willow is sick, and Amanda calls upon the Tree Wizards to help him. But they cannot, and Amanda struggles with feelings of loss, confusion, anger and, finally, hope. Granpa Written by John Burningham (1991) This detailed picture book has very few words but tells the story of a little girl’s relationship with her Granpa. It takes the reader through many happy times they spent together playing games, telling stories, and on outings. On the last page, Granpa’s chair is empty, signifying that he has died. Children may benefit from reading this book with an adult to talk about the pictures and to elaborate on some of the messages it conveys. Her Mother’s Face Written by Roddy Doyle (2009) This book is a sensitive portrayal of a young girl’s grieving as she struggles to come to terms with the loss of her mother. Siobhan was just three years old when her mother died, and Siobhan can no longer remember her face. She is given encouraging words by a kind lady in the park who tells her to look in the mirror to see the face of her mother through her own reflection. I Miss My Sister (4-10 years) Written by Sarah Courtauld (2009) A young girl’s sister has died and the impact on her and her family is sensitively illustrated with minimal text. Designed to be shared with an adult, it will help to start conversations, answer questions, and allay any fears. I Miss You: A First Look at Death (4-7 years) Written by Pat Thomas (2001) When a close friend or family member dies, it can be difficult for children to express their feelings. This book helps children to understand that death is a natural complement to life, and that grief and a sense of loss are normal feelings for them to have following a loved one's death. Titles in this sensitively presented series explore the dynamics of various relationships experienced by children of preschool through

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early school age. Kids are encouraged to understand personal feelings and social problems as a first step in dealing with them. Ida, Always (4-8 years) Written by Caron Levis (2016) A beautiful, honest portrait of loss and deep friendship told through the story of two iconic polar bears. Gus lives in a big park in the middle of an even bigger city, and he spends his days with Ida. Ida is right there. Always. Then, one sad day, Gus learns that Ida is very sick, and she isn’t going to get better. The friends help each other face the difficult news with whispers, sniffles, cuddles, and even laughs. Slowly, Gus realizes that even after Ida is gone, she will still be with him—through the sounds of their city, and the memories that live in their favourite spots. ‘Ida, Always’ is an exquisitely told story of two best friends—inspired by a real bear friendship—and a gentle, moving, needed reminder that loved ones lost will stay in our hearts, always. Josh – Coming to Terms with the Death of a Friend Written by Stephanie Jeffs and Jacqui Thomas (2006) Josh’s friend Max has died. The book explains with simple clarity not only what happens to the body of a dead person, but also the Christian belief that we will be safe in heaven.

Losing Uncle Tim Written by Mary Kate Jordan (1999) This picture book for slightly older children explains how a young boy finds out his Uncle Tim has AIDS and is going to die. It is a serious and sensitive book covering many of the issues, changes, and difficult feelings that can occur when someone has a serious illness. Sad Book Written by Michael Rosen (2004) This book has large illustrations and small snippets of text. It is wonderfully honest and will appeal to children and adults of all ages. We all have sad stuff, but what makes Michael Rosen most sad is thinking about his son who died. This book is a simple, but emotive story. He talks about what sad is and how it affects him and what he does to cope with it. Milly's Bug-Nut Written by Jill Janney (2002) A short story of Milly, whose father has died. She knows that when people die, they can't come back, but she keeps a wish to see her Dad one more time. Missing Mummy (3-6 years) Written by Rebecca Cobb (2012) Beautifully illustrated and with moments of wonderful warmth, this is a touching, honest, and helpful book about the death of a parent. With minimum text, it touches on some of the worries and fears that a young child may have after a death, offering reassurance and hope.

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Mum’s Jumper (4 years+) Written by Jayde Perkin (2019) A simple and heartfelt book that looks sensitively at loss and grief through the story of a young girl losing her mother. Told by the girl, this book explores the emotions of grief, including fear and anger, and draws on the personal experience of the author. This book can be used as a tool to introduce children to the concept of death, even if they haven’t experienced it.

No Matter What (1999) Written by Debi Gliori (4-7 years) When children feel anxiety about losing a parent, often their fears focus on their worry that their parent no longer loves them. In this charming book, Gliori’s characters ask and answer these very questions your little one may have and prove that a parent has an endless capacity for love, even after death, and that their child is always loved, no matter what. Saying Goodbye to Daddy Written by Judith Vigna (1991) Clare’s Dad died in a car accident and this book looks at changes in the family, difficult feelings, funerals, and memories through the eyes of Clare. It would also be a good book to help parents understand the child’s perspective. It gives good examples of how adults can answer children’s questions, emphasising the need to be clear and honest. Saying Goodbye: A Special Farewell to Mama Nkwelle Written by Ifeoma Onyefulu (2002) This book has large, bright, colourful photos and follows a little boy, Ikenna describing what happens at the ceremony after his great-grandmother’s funeral. It gives ideas of different ways to remember someone and an insight into Nigerian culture. A lovely book that could be used in many different situations, including schools. The Boy Who Didn’t Want to Be Sad (4-8 years) Written by Robert Goldblatt (2004) This book is about a boy who didn’t want to be sad, so he tried to get rid of everything that made him sad, but what he found out was that sadness is a very big lesson in happiness. This book helps children face and even celebrate their emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, as part of the whole experience of being alive. The Cat Mummy Written by Jacqueline Wilson (2002) Verity’s Mum died the day she was born, but she rarely talks about her. Verity doesn’t want to upset her dad or grandparents. This humorous, but sensitive story mainly focuses on Verity’s missing cat, Mabel, but reveals some of the misunderstandings and anxieties children can have about death. It also shows it can be good to be open, honest, and to talk about difficult issues. The Ghost of Uncle Arvie

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Written by Sharon Creech (1997) This fun and humorous book is about Danny, an ordinary nine-year-old boy. However, once or twice a year, a ghost visits him. This time, it is the ghost of his Uncle Arvie who follows him, persuading him to make his three wishes come true. As a result, Danny and his dog get into adventures which make him think about his dad who has also died. This book has some important messages and talks about death in an open way but is primarily fun and imaginative. The Golden Bird Written by Berlie Doherty (1995) When Andrew's father dies, he finds he cannot talk to his friends or teachers about it. His teacher casts him as the golden bird in a school play and he learns to express himself again. The Goodbye Book (3-6 years) Written by Todd Parr (2015) Through the lens of a pet fish who has lost his companion, Todd Parr tells a moving and accessible story about saying goodbye. Touching upon the host of emotions children experience, Todd reminds readers that it's okay not to know all the answers, and that someone will always be there to support them. An invaluable resource for life's toughest moments. The Huge Bag of Worries Written by Virginia Ironside (1996) Jenny begins to worry about lots of different things and these worries build up and get out of control. She just can’t get rid of them, until she meets the old lady next door who helps her feel better. A lovely story with fun illustrations encourages children to talk about their worries. The Little Flower Bulb: Helping Children Bereaved by Suicide (3-8 years) Written by Eleanor Gormally (2011) This book tells the story of Jamie, his mum and his twin sisters, and of how Jamie comes to deal with the death of his father. A beautifully illustrated book that will be helpful for parents when talking to children bereaved by the suicide of a close relative. The Lonely Tree Written by Nicholas Halliday (2014). A story based on the life cycle in the natural world. The young tree is sad when his old friend the Oak dies, but Spring brings joy to the little tree. The Magical Wood Written by Mark Lemon (2018) This magical story sensitively offers children and families an opportunity to share the journey of its characters finding their way through grief. With its imagery and language exploring the themes of bereavement, this story offers children and families time and safety within which to talk about death, loss, and emotions. The Memory Box: A Book About Grief (4-8 years) Written by Joanna Rowland and Thea Baker (2017)

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From the perspective of a young child remembering what it’s like to remember and grieve a loved one who has died. The child in the story creates a memory box to keep mementos and written memories of the loved one, to help in the grieving process. This helps children and adults to talk about this very difficult topic together. The Mountains of Tibet Written by Mordicai Gerstein (1989) Based on Tibetan teachings, this book tells of a small boy who grows up to be a woodcutter. When he dies, he discovers there is a chance to live again, but first, he must make several choices. The Scar (5-9 years) Written by Charlotte Moundlic (2012) When the boy in this story wakes up to find that his mother has died, he is overwhelmed with sadness, anger and fear that he will forget her. He shuts all the windows to keep in his mother’s familiar smell and scratches open the cut on his knee to help him recall her comforting voice. He doesn’t know how to speak to his dad anymore, and when Grandma visits and throws open the windows, it’s more than the boy can take – until she shows him another way to hold on to the feeling of his mum’s love. With tenderness, touches of humour, and unflinching emotional truth, Charlotte Moundlic captures the loneliness of grief through the eyes of a child, rendered with sympathy and charm in Olivier Tallec’s expressive illustrations. The Sunshine Cat Written by Miriam Moss (1999) Sunny the cat is loved by all his human family, but one day, there is a knock at the door - Sunny has been killed in an accident. A sensitive story which aims to help children come to terms with death. The Tale of Two Dolphins, When My Sister Died Suddenly (5-16 years) Written by Sarah Fitzgerald (2000 edition) Suitable for family and educational use ‘The Tale of Two Dolphins’ expresses in beautifully simple, yet poignant language, the author's feelings at the tragic loss of her older sister. It is suitable for family use and within the school setting. It offers a unique and valuable insight into the feelings associated with bereavement while leaving the reader with a positive outlook for the future. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney Written by Judith Viorst (1987) A young boy’s cat dies, and his parents suggest that he could think of ten good things about Barney to tell at the funeral. But he can only think of nine, until he talks to his Father about what happens to someone after they have died, and he discovers the tenth. A carefully written book with black and white pictures that sensitively deals with death and lets the reader make his or her own decisions about what happens after the funeral. When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death Written by Laurie Krasny (1998)

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This factual picture book uses cartoon dinosaurs to illustrate the text and comment on what is said. It is a bright and colourful book that explains death in a simple and unthreatening way. It covers many issues, including ‘why does someone die?’, ‘feelings about death’ and ‘saying goodbye’. The Very Hungry Caterpillar Written by Eric Carle (2002) Suitable for all younger children A newly hatched caterpillar eats his way through all kinds of food in this story aimed at the very young. An analogy can be made with life and death. Two Weeks with the Queen Written by Morris Gleitzman (1999) When Luke gets cancer, his brother, Colin, is sent to stay with relatives in the UK from their home in Australia. He has adventures trying to get the Queen to lend him the best cancer doctor to treat his brother. What Does Dead Mean? (4-7 years) Written by Caroline Jay and Jenni Thomas (2012) This is an illustrated book that gently guides children through 17 of the 'big' questions they often ask about death and dying. Suitable for children aged 4+, this is an ideal book for parents and carers to read with their children, as well as teachers, therapists, and counsellors working with young children. What’s Heaven? (5-8 years) Written by Maria Shriver (2007) This book gives real answers for many questions that children tend to have about death and where our loved ones go. It can help your own little ones find peace and understanding in their grief. When My Daddy Died, I…: Things I Miss About My Dad (4-8 years) Written by K.J. Reider (2013) This book was written by a man who lost his best friend, his father, when he was just a young boy. In it, he talks about the memories that he will always cherish about the time he had with his father, which is perfect for little ones who are afraid they’ll forget their parent. Where Do They Go? (3-7 years) Written by Julia Alvarez (2016) This book is a poem for children that gently addresses the emotional side of death. The book asks, "When somebody dies, where do they go?/Do they go where the wind goes when it blows? ... Do they wink back at me when I wish on a star? Do they whisper, 'You're perfect, just as you are'? ..." Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You (4-8 years) Written by Nancy Tillman (2010) This book is for children who are worried their parent will leave their memories and their hearts. It reassures a child that a parent’s love is endless, no matter the distance, and that it is always there, even if they don’t notice it in a traditional way.

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12 UPWARDS A Grieving Teen: A Guide for Teens and Friends Written by Helen Fitzgerald (2000) In this unique and compassionate guide, renowned grief counsellor, Helen Fitzgerald, turns her attention to the special needs of adolescents struggling with loss and gives teens the tools they need to work through their pain and grief. Fitzgerald guides teens through everything from the sickbed to the funeral, from the first day back at school, to the first anniversary of the death. Above all, she lets teens know that even in their darkest hour, they are not alone.

Coping with Loss: The Life Changes Handbook (11-15 years) Written by Anita Naik (2009) Advice, facts, tips, and quizzes on coping with loss. Cures for Heartbreak (13 years+) Written by Margo Rabb (2008) Nine days after her mother’s diagnosis, Mia's mother is dead, and Mia, her older sister, and her father, must find a way to live on in the face of sudden, unfathomable loss. But even in grief, there is the chance for new beginnings in this poignant, funny, and hopeful novel. Double Act Written by Jacqueline Wilson (1996) Ruby and Garnet are 10-year-old twins. They do everything together, especially since their mum died three years ago. When their dad finds a new partner and they move to a new house, Ruby and Garnet find it hard and get into all sorts of trouble. Eventually, they settle down and learn to live with the changes. A lively and humorous book that deals sensitively with change. Dustbin Baby Written by Jacqueline Wilson (2002) April was abandoned in a dustbin as a baby on the 1st April. Having spent all her life in a children’s home and with different foster parents (one of whom committed suicide), things haven’t been easy, and April is struggling. Now, she’s fourteen, and on her birthday, determined to find out more about her past, she sets off to find some important people. Facing Grief: Bereavement and the Young Adult (18-25 years) Written by Susan Wallbank (1991) Deals with the experience of losing a parent, sibling, partner, or friend between the ages of around 18 and 25. Grieving for the Sibling You Lost: A Teen's Guide to Coping with Grief & Finding Meaning After Loss (13-19 years) Written by Erica Goldblatt Hyatt (2015) Grieving for the Sibling You Lost will help you understand your own unique coping style. You'll find effective exercises based in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help you work through negative thoughts and learn the importance of creating

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meaning out of loss and suffering. Most importantly, you'll learn when and how to ask for help from parents, friends, or teachers. Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas - Simple Tips for Understanding and Expressing Your Grief Written by Alan Wolfelt (2001) Being told to "get on with your life" is the most annoying and unhelpful advice ever, writes grief counsellor Alan Wolfelt. He urges anyone who has lost someone close to take their time to feel the emotions they're going through. He also offers lots of ideas for activities that are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge gap in your life that losing someone you love can cause, so that you can begin to live your life again. Heaven's Child (13-17 years) Written by Caroline Flohr (2012) The book covers sudden loss; death of a child; relationships within a family; funerals and traditions; doubts, faith and hope; marriages, divorces, and parenting; forgiveness and healing; the power of memories and intuition; inner strength, and the resilience of the human spirit. Heaven's Child shows us that the grieving process is personal, that it's not just about death but also about any loss in our life; that grieving is not about endings...but about new beginnings. Help for the Hard Times: Getting Through Loss (12-17 years) Written by Earl Hipp (1995) Because loss is such a big part of everyone's life, it's important to understand the normal feelings, thoughts, and behaviours associated with grief, and to know how to take care of yourself in the healing process. Knowing what to expect makes the experience less scary and increases the likelihood of getting through loss without unnecessary pain. At the centre of it all, loss is about complicated feelings. This book is a guide to help you find your way through difficult emotional territory. Michael Rosen’s Sad Book (8 years+) Written by Michael Rosen (2008) Suitable for older children (8 plus) and adults A simple, beautifully illustrated book, which provides a good discussion opportunity to talk about sadness and loss. Ostrich Boys Written by Keith Gray (2008) ‘It's not really kidnapping, is it? He'd have to be alive for it to be proper kidnapping.' Kenny, Sim and Blake are about to embark on a remarkable journey of friendship. Stealing the urn containing the ashes of their best friend Ross, they set out from Cleethorpes on the east coast to travel the 261 miles to the tiny hamlet of Ross in Dumfries and Galloway. After a depressing and dispiriting funeral, they feel taking Ross to Ross will be a fitting memorial for a 15-year-old boy who changed all their lives through his friendship. Little do they realise just how much Ross can still affect life for them even though he's now dead. Drawing on personal experience, Keith Gray has written an extraordinary novel about friendship, loss and suicide, and about the good things that may be waiting just out of sight around the corner.

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Sometimes Life Sucks: When Someone You Love Dies Written by Molly Carlile (2010) There are lots of different ways to feel loss, and whether you are experiencing the death of a parent, a grandparent, a school friend, or a pet, you might struggle to come to terms with your shock and grief. This book, written by a former nurse who looked after people at the end of their lives, is full of helpful tips, stories and advice to help you deal with your emotions when someone you love has gone. Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love Written by Earl A. Grollman (1993) If you are a teenager whose friend or relative has died, this book was written for you. Earl A. Grollman, the award-winning author of ‘Living When a Loved One Has Died’, explains what to expect when you lose someone you love. Teens, Loss, and Grief: The Ultimate Teen Guide (ages 12-17) Written by Edward Myers (2006) Teens, Loss, and Grief is a self-help guide for teenagers who are experiencing bereavement and the emotional difficulties it presents. The book describes grief as a painful, but normal process, and it offers insights from bereavement experts as well as practical suggestions for coping with loss, including accounts from teens. The Charlie Barber Treatment Written by Carole Lloyd (1997) When Simon's mother dies suddenly from a brain haemorrhage, he clams up. But his new friend, Charlie, helps him to talk again to his family and friends, and to find ways of enjoying life. The Colour of Absence: 12 Stories about Loss and Hope (12 years+) Written by James Howe (2002) Different types of loss experienced by teenagers and how they try to cope with their grief are portrayed in this collection of short stories. The Lost Boys' Appreciation Society Written by Alan Gibbons (2004) When Gary and John's mother dies suddenly, the boys and their father are thrown into turmoil. John feels responsible for Gary who starts hanging out with the wrong crowd. The Spying Game Written by Pat Moon (2003) Joe’s dad died in a car accident and he feels really angry towards the man who killed his father. He decides to set up a secret ‘Nightmare Plan’ to vent his anger and begins to persecute the man and his family by scratching his car and sending hate mail. This powerful book reveals the difficult emotions Joe faces both at home and at school. A very readable and fast paced book that would appeal to many young people. Up on Cloud Nine Written by Anne Fine (2006)

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Stol falls out of a top floor window and ends up unconscious in hospital with lots of broken bones and no-one knows whether it was attempted suicide or an accident. This book is written from the perspective of his best friend, Ian, whilst he is sitting by his bedside. He recalls all the fun times they have had together as well as acknowledging the slightly different way Stol sees the world. Ian captures the emotions of his own adoptive parents as well as Stol’s family and the hospital staff in an amusing, yet moving way, illustrating how Stol has had an inspirational effect on everyone. Vicky Angel Written by Jacqueline Wilson (2001) After Vicky died, her best friend Jade is confused to find that Vicky is an even more distracting presence than when she was alive. This book covers the power of friendship and the overwhelming feelings around a sudden death. We Get It: Voices of Grieving College Students and Young Adults (17 years+) Written by Heather Servaty-Seib & David Fajgenbaum (2015) Grieving the death of a loved one is difficult at any age, but it can be particularly difficult during college and young adulthood. From developing a sense of identity to living away from family and adjusting to life on and off campus, college students and young adults face a unique set of issues. These issues often make it difficult for young adults to talk about their loss, leading to a sense of isolation, different-ness and a pressure to pretend that everything is OK. The narratives included in this book are honest, engaging and heartfelt, and they help other students and young people know that they are not alone and that there are others who 'get' what they are going through. The narratives are usefully divided by themes, such as isolation, forced maturity and life transition challenges, and include commentary by the authors on grief responses and coping strategies. Each section also ends with helpful questions for reflection. Weird Is Normal When Teenagers Grieve Written by Jenny Lee Wheeler (2010) Jenny Lee Wheeler wrote this book when she was 16. Two years earlier, her dad died from cancer, so Jenny has lived the experience she is writing about. She talks about death and grieving as it really is for teenagers, emphasising that whatever emotions you are going through, they are not weird or wrong, but completely normal. Following Jenny’s journey as she comes to terms with her painful loss might help you feel less alone. When Parents Die: Learning to Live with the Loss of a Parent Written by Rebecca Abrams (2012) Bereavement counsellor, Rebecca Abrams, talked to lots of different adults, teenagers and children about what it's like to lose a parent and shares their thoughts and feelings. This book tackles the entire grieving journey, from how it feels immediately after a parent's death, to when and how you might start to recover. She also looks at what can make coming to terms with such a devastating loss even more difficult, such as if it was a sudden death.

WORKBOOKS

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Good Grief 1: Exploring Feelings, Loss and Death with Under 11s (1995) Good Grief 2: Exploring Feelings, Loss and Death with Over 11s and Adults (1996) Written by Barbara Ward (1995, 1996) With 20 educators contributing ideas piloted with children of different abilities and backgrounds in their care, this text has been designed to explore and demystify the experience of loss - in different contexts- within the framework of the National Curriculum. Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine Written by Kate Shepherd (2000) - Winston's Wish A range of fun and thoughtful creative activities and exercises for bereaved children, fully illustrated, and introducing friendly characters of Bee and Bear. Grief Encounter Workbook Written by Shelley Gilbert (2003) - Grief Encounter Project A workbook to encourage conversations about death and bereavement between children and adults. When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens Written by Marilyn Gootman (2005) The death of a friend is a wrenching event for anyone at any age. Teenagers especially need help coping with this painful loss. This sensitive book answers questions grieving teens often have, like “How should I be acting?” “Is it wrong to go to parties and have fun?” and “What if I can’t handle my grief on my own?”

When Someone Very Special Dies Written by Marge Heegard (1991) For children and adults to use together to talk about general concepts of death and loss, as well as around a bereavement. Talking with Children and Young People About Death and Dying Written by Mary Turner (1998) Covers concepts of death and dying and aspects of bereavement, including anger, fear, dreams, and ways of remembering. Can be used as a basis for opening discussions between a bereaved child and adult. Remembering… Written by Dianne Leutner (2009) A workbook for children when someone important to them has died. Sensitively illustrated, it will help a child to talk about their memories and make some sense of how they are feeling. Helping Children Think About Bereavement

Written by Heather Butler (2013) This fun story and related short activities are presented as four differentiated lesson plans including one for pupils with learning difficulties. It helps pupils develop resilience and coping skills should someone they know die. Story presented at

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following levels: 9-11 years, 7-9 years, 5-7 years, children who speak English as a second language, and children in early years or with learning difficulties

Finding a Way Through When Someone Close Has Died (5-15 years) Written by Pat Mood and Lesley Whittaker (2001) This workbook is written by children who have experienced the death of someone close. They offer advice based on their own experiences. The activities encourage young people to express their feelings and responses to death.

BOOKS FOR PARENTS AND CARERS SUPPORTING A BEREAVED CHILD

A Child's Grief: Supporting a Child When Someone in Their Family Has Died Written by Julie Stokes, Diana Crossley, Katrina Alilovic & Di Stubbs (2008) A useful and informative introduction for any adult who is supporting a child through bereavement. Covering a variety of issues that may affect a child when a person close to them dies, both immediately and in the longer term, the booklet also offers practical activities to do together and a section on further reading and support. And When Did You Last See Your Father? Written by Blake Morrison (2006) The book tells of how Dr Morrison’s life slowly slips away during the last few weeks of his life. Interspersed with this are the authors recollections of his father, who whilst being a difficult man at times, always remained a loving husband and father. The author is always open and honest - sometimes brutally so - and lays open his feelings for all to share. One of the strengths of the book is that whilst it is about the death of a loved one, it never gets too mawkish or sentimental, and always remains a good read.

As Big as it Gets: Supporting a Child When a Parent is Seriously Ill (2007) This booklet provides a range of ideas for parents and carers so that they feel able to involve their children in what is happening. The book also includes some suggestions about what parents might say to children and how to offer support.

Caring for Bereaved Children Written by Mary Bending (1993) - Cruse Bereavement Care Offers insights into the ways that children grieve from birth to adolescence, and suggests ways of helping. Death and Bereavement Across Cultures Written by Colin Murray Parkes (1996) All societies have their own customs and beliefs surrounding death. In the west, traditional ways of mourning are disappearing, and though science has had a major impact on views of death, it has taught us little about the way to die or to grieve. Many who encounter the dying and the bereaved from other cultures are at a loss to know how to offer appropriate and sensitive support. This is a handbook with which to meet the needs of professionals involved in the care of the dying and bereaved. The work describes the rituals and beliefs of major world religions; explains their

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psychological and historical context; shows how customs change on contact with the west; and considers the implications for the future. This book explores mourning traditions around the world with the aim of increasing the understanding, which we all bring to the issue of death. Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults Written by Atle Dyregrov (2008) Many children experience the death of a relation or friend, or of other known adults or children. At such times it is important for parents, teachers, social workers and other responsible adults to know how to respond appropriately to the child's needs. This practical book explains children's understanding of death at different ages and gives a detailed outline of exactly how the adults around them can best help them cope with the death, whether it is of a parent or sibling, other relation or friend, or of class mate or teacher. The book deals with the whole range of responses, from those on the physical and pragmatic level to psychological reactions, which may be less obvious to the caring adult, and describes the methods that have been shown to work best. It addresses in depth the consequences of sudden and dramatic death, which can create more anxiety and give rise to more reactions than anticipated deaths. Helping Children Cope with Grief - Facing a Death in the Family: Overcoming Common Problems Written by Rosemary Wells (1988) Nothing can take away the pain and loss for a child who has lost someone close to them, but there is a great deal that a caring adult can do to avoid the long-term distress which can be caused by hidden fears and anxieties. This book also deals with the problems special to terminal illness or sudden death, and the misunderstandings that can arise from a well-meant remark. Sad Book Written by Michael Rosen (2008) Suitable for older children 8 plus and adults A simple, beautifully illustrated book, which provides a good discussion opportunity to talk about sadness and loss. Someone Very Important Has Just Died Written by Mary Turner (2004) This short book tackles the sensitive issues of what to tell children, how far to include them in the events immediately after the death, and how to tend to their physical and emotional needs. The material is suitable for anyone regardless of their background and beliefs and is supplemented with information on where to go to obtain longer term bereavement support. Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child Written by Earl Grollman (1991) This guide to helping children cope with death includes an illustrated, read-along story, and discusses coping with a child's anger, denial, or guilt, and how to discuss funerals, cemeteries, and grief. It includes advice from parents and acknowledges that they may be grieving too.

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You Just Don’t Understand: Supporting Bereaved Teenagers By Winston’s Wish The transition from childhood to adulthood can be a challenging process at the best of times. This booklet aims to help you understand what normal adolescent development is, and to recognise the additional problems teenagers may face if someone important dies during these years. This booklet is based on many years’ experience of working with bereaved teenagers, families, and professionals who support them and the information here will help you to consider how to respond to the individual needs of a bereaved teenager.

BOOKS TO SUPPORT SCHOOLS AND OTHER PROFESSIONALS WORKING WITH BEREAVED

CHILDREN A Child's Grief: Supporting a Child When Someone in Their Family Has Died Written by Di Stubbs, Julie Stokes, and Katrina Alilovic (2009) This booklet offers practical suggestions and activities for adults who are supporting children through a bereavement. It covers a range of issues that may affect a child when someone important to them dies, both immediately and in the longer term. Death and Bereavement Across Cultures Written by Colin Murray Parkes (1996) All societies have their own customs and beliefs surrounding death. In the west, traditional ways of mourning are disappearing, and though science has had a major impact on views of death, it has taught us little about the way to die or to grieve. Many who come into contact with the dying and the bereaved from other cultures are at a loss to know how to offer appropriate and sensitive support. This is a handbook with which to meet the needs of professionals involved in the care of the dying and bereaved. The work describes the rituals and beliefs of major world religions; explains their psychological and historical context; shows how customs change on contact with the west; and considers the implications for the future. This book explores mourning traditions around the world with the aim of increasing the understanding, which we all bring to the issue of death. Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults Written by Atle Dyregrov (2008) Many children experience the death of a relation or friend, or of other known adults or children. At such times, it is important for parents, teachers, social workers and other responsible adults to know how to respond appropriately to the child's needs. This practical book explains children's understanding of death at different ages and gives a detailed outline of exactly how the adults around them can best help them cope with the death, whether it is of a parent or sibling, other relation or friend, or of a class mate or teacher. The book deals with the whole range of responses, from those on the physical and pragmatic level to psychological reactions, which may be less obvious to the caring adult, and describes the methods that have been shown to work best. It addresses in depth the consequences of sudden and dramatic death, which can create more anxiety and give rise to more reactions than anticipated deaths.

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Grief in School Communities: Effective Support Strategies Written by Louise Rowling (2003) This book aims to help individuals and school communities to create environments in which grief, while a difficult experience, is seen as a normal life event. It demonstrates the components in a school that can be used to support grieving individuals in times of personal crisis and to support whole school communities when traumatic incidents occur. Loss, Change and Grief: An Educational Perspective Written by Erica Brown (1999) This work aims to explore experience of loss, change and grief, and foster positive attitudes towards teaching and learning about these issues. It outlines the different beliefs and practices associated with death and dying, and aims to help adults understand how children grieve. Suggestions are provided of ways in which adults might include teaching about loss and change within the school curriculum, and ways in which professionals educating and caring for children can collaborate in their work. Supporting Teenagers Through Grief and Loss Written by Anna Jacobs (2013) A wealth of advice and helpful suggestions for those helping children through bereavement and loss. This book gives an overview of different behaviours you may encounter in school and how to respond, as well as discussing questions children may ask and how to answer them. Children's understanding of death varies according to stage of development, and the author provides guidance on age-appropriate, honest responses, along with a toolkit of creative and arts activities to help children. Talking About Death and Bereavement in School: How to Help Children Aged 4 to 11 to Feel Supported and Understood Written by Ann Chadwick (2011) This book offers important advice and guidance for school teachers and staff on what to do when a child is grieving. It includes advice on explaining death to children, insights into how children may be feeling and how they may react, and ways in which they can be supported. Talking to My Gran About Dying – My School Project (8-11 years) Written by Gina Levete (2014) Teacher resource to promote class discussion. Written in a diary format in a fun and engaging tone, this illustrated book is an excellent way to talk to children about dying, to answer their questions, and to help them understand what dying means. Questions to the reader throughout the book help to spark discussions and will allow the child to safely explore their thoughts and feelings. This is an ideal resource for teachers and parents to read with children aged 8-11. The Copper Tree Written by Hilary Robinson and Mandy Stanley (2012) When Olivia’s teacher dies, the children at her school are encouraged to think of everything that reminds them of her. Written with sensitivity and sprinkled with light

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hearted moments, The Copper Tree approaches grief with sensitivity and sound judgement. A delightful and touching short story. The Forgotten Mourners: Guidelines for Working with Bereaved Children Written by Margaret Pennells and Susan Smith (1994) Children have long been the 'forgotten mourners'. This book attempts to raise awareness of the issues involved for bereaved children, highlighting their needs and their emotional and behavioural responses when bereavement occurs. Adults have to be made aware of the need to include children in the mourning process in a positive and non-threatening way. Each section gives easy access to the relevant information, and the books clear and concise presentation of practical guidelines will be of use to teachers, social workers, and all those working in the field of child bereavement, particularly when faced with difficult situations. The book concludes with an outline of working methods and provides a useful resource list. The Invisible String Written by Patrice Karst (2018) This book offers a very simple approach to overcoming the fear of loneliness or separation from parents, written with an imaginative flair that children can easily identify with and remember. Specifically written to address children's fear of being apart from the ones they love, The Invisible String delivers a particularly compelling message in today's uncertain times that though we may be separated from the ones we care for, whether through anger, or distance or even death, love is the unending connection that binds us all, and, by extension, ultimately binds every person on the planet to everyone else. The Little Book of Bereavement for Schools Written by Ian Gilbert, with William, and Olivia and Phoebe Gilbert (2010) The Little Book of Bereavement for Schools is written by author Ian Gilbert together with his three children. It is a very personal account of the way educational institutions tried and succeeded, tried and failed, and sometimes didn’t try at all to help William, Olivia, and Phoebe come to terms with the death of their mother. Several months after their mother’s death, BBCs Newsround aired a brave and still controversial programme in which four children talked about their losses. This prompted Ian and his children to sit down and think about their own experiences and draw up a list of DOs and DON’Ts that could help steer schools - and indeed all professionals working with children - towards a better understanding of what is needed from them at such a difficult time. You Just Don’t Understand: Supporting Bereaved Teenagers By Winston’s Wish The transition from childhood to adulthood can be a challenging process at the best of times. This booklet aims to help you understand what normal adolescent development is, and to recognise the additional problems teenagers may face if someone important dies during these years. This booklet is based on many years’ experience of working with bereaved teenagers, families, and professionals who support them and the information here will help you to consider how to respond to the individual needs of a bereaved teenager.

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ADULTS SUPPORTING BEREAVED INDIVIDUALS WITH SPECIAL EDUCATIONAL

NEEDS SEND: A Special Kind of Grief Written by Sarah Helton (2017) Children with SEND (special educational needs and disabilities), especially those in special schools, often experience grief at a much younger age than others, as some of their peers are more likely to have life-limiting medical conditions. This book provides all the resources that educational professionals need to ensure their community is fully prepared to acknowledge and support pupil bereavement and loss. SEND: Autism and Loss Written by Rachel Forrester-Jones and Sarah Broadhurst (2003) “Autism and Loss” is a complete resource that covers a variety of kinds of loss, including bereavement. It includes factsheets and practical ideas which families and professional carers may find useful. SEND: Finding Your Own Way to Grieve Written by Karla Helbert (2012) A creative activity workbook for grieving children and teens on the autistic spectrum. The clear, concise language will help adults communicate with children around the abstract concepts of death and grief. SEND: Let’s Talk About Death By Down’s Syndrome Scotland A booklet about death and funerals for young people and adults who have a learning disability. Includes some simple text on why people die, what happens at funerals and possible grief reactions. Photographs support the text. SEND: Remembering Lucy: A Story about Loss and Grief in School Written by Sarah Helton (2017) This touching short story will help children with SEND (special educational needs and disabilities) aged 3+ understand feelings caused by death and loss, and the illustrations help convey the complex experience of bereavement in a simple and clear way. Included is a teacher’s guide to talking about bereavement, making this the ideal aid for teachers and support staff at SEND schools and colleges. SEND: We All Grieve: Supporting Bereaved Children who have Special Educational Needs and Disabilities By Winston’s Wish ‘We All Grieve’ looks at how children with SEND are affected by a bereavement, how those around them can support them and help to develop the child’s understanding of death and loss. This book is designed for parents, carers, education professionals, and other adults supporting children and young adults with SEND who have experienced the death of someone close to them. It offers

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information, practical suggestions, and ideas for activities as well as where to find other support.

OTHER HELPFUL BOOKS (NOT DIRECTLY ABOUT DEATH)

There are several books that do not directly deal with death or bereavement but may help the reader face difficult feelings: Angry Arthur Written by Hiawyn Oram & illustrated by Satoshi Kitamura (1993) It’s time for bed, but Arthur wants to stay up, so he gets really angry. Every time someone tells him ‘that’s enough’, his anger gets bigger and bigger and takes over the world until he wonders why he was so angry in the first place. A wonderful, imaginative story that many children (and adults) will be able to relate to. Five Minutes’ Peace (The Large Family) Written by Jill Murphy (2001) This humorous book with lovely detailed pictures tells the story of Mrs Large who is desperate for five minutes peace from her three children, but it is harder to find than she expects! A lovely book that can be enjoyed by both adults and children and may help to explain that every so often, grown-ups need time to themselves. No Matter What Written by Debi Gliori (2003) A rhyming story with large, bright pictures about Small, a young fox who is feeling cross because no one loves him. Large, then reassures him that she’ll love him no matter what. A fun and imaginative book that only briefly talks about death, but would be a useful story to help support a young child through difficult times. Nothing Written by Mick Inkpen (2006) A ‘little thing’ has been stuck in the attic for so long, he has even forgotten its name. When the owners move to a new house and leave him behind, he sets off on an adventure to discover who he really is. A lovely book about families and the feeling that you belong. It could be used in many situations, particularly with a child who is feeling unsettled. Nothing Scares Us Written by Frieda Wishinsky (2001) Lucy and Lenny are best friends who have all sorts of adventures. Lenny then starts watching a scary programme on TV, which gives Lucy nightmares and she dare not tell Lenny in case he laughs at her. With colourful pictures, this fun book is a comforting story about friendship and adventure. Something Else Written by Kathryn Cave (1995)

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Something Else doesn’t belong and has no one to be friends with, until one day, Nothing knocks at his door, and although they seem very different, they get along and become friends. These unusual looking characters capture the feelings of young people in a sensitive and fun way. A lovely book that could reassure children who feel unsettled within their peer group. Supposing Written by Frances Thomas (1999) Little Monster starts telling his mother a wonderfully imaginative but scary story about what might happen tomorrow. Mother then gives him an alternative, happier story and takes away his fears. This story is reassuring as well as fun and imaginative. The Huge Bag of Worries Written by Virginia Ironside (1996) Jenny begins to worry about lots of different things and these worries build up and get out of control. She just can’t get rid of them, until she meets the old lady next door who helps her feel better. A lovely story with fun illustrations which encourages children to talk about their worries. There’s No Such Thing as a Dragon Written by Jack Kent Billy wakes up to find a tiny dragon in his bedroom. His mother insists that there is no such thing as a dragon, but the dragon gets bigger and bigger until it fills the whole house. When the family finally acknowledge that the dragon exists, it returns to its normal size. This colourful picture book is a useful tool to use with children to talk about difficult feelings and other issues that can increase when they are ignored. There are also many books where death is not the main focus of the story but feature bereavement or the main character has been bereaved. These include: A Little Princess By Frances Hodgson Burnett & illustrated by Tasha Wordsworth Editions Ltd; New Edition ISBN: 978-1853261367 Bambi By Felix Salten, Aladdin Paperbacks; Reprint Edition (Jul 1988) ISBN: 978-0671666071 Charlotte’s Web By E. B. White & illustrated by Garth William Puffin Books (2003) ISBN: 978-0141317342 Danny the Champion of the World By Roald Dahl & illustrated by Quentin Blake Puffin Books (2007) ISBN: 978-0141322674 Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone By J. K. Rowling Bloomsbury Children’s Books ISBN: 978-0747532743

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James and the Giant Peach By Roald Dahl & illustrated by Quentin Blake Puffin Books (2001) ISBN: 978-0141311357 Little Women By Louisa May Alcott, CRW Publishing Limited; New edition (2004) ISBN: 978-1587261329 Oliver Twist By Charles Dickens, Penguin Books (2003) ISBN: 978-0141439747 The Secret Garden By Frances Hodgson Burnett, Wordsworth Editions Ltd (1993) ISBN: 978-1853261046

BOOKS FOR FAMILIES WHEN SOMEONE IS SERIOUSLY ILL

As Big as It Gets: Supporting a Child When a Parent is Seriously Ill Written by Julie Stokes & Diana Crossley (2007) An information booklet to help families cope with the serious illness of a parent. It provides a range of ideas for parents or carers so that they feel more able to explain to their children what is happening, giving some suggestions to what parents might say to children and how to offer support. Chemo to the Rescue (8-12 years) Written by Mary Brent and Caitlin Knutsson (2008) This book focuses specifically on leukaemia. Written by a mother and daughter, the book is based on the daughter’s experiences of leukaemia (after she was diagnosed herself at the age of five). It’s honest without becoming too scary and answers all the fundamental questions children might have about life with chemotherapy; why blood tests and hospital visits are important, or why hair loss happens. This book is ideal for a child diagnosed with leukaemia, but also for their siblings, friends, and classmates. Eek! My Mummy Has Breast Cancer Written by Emma Sutherland (2013) Emma was 12 when her mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she struggled to find helpful information that was written for young teens. So, Emma wrote her own book to help other teenagers who had a parent with cancer. The book is heartfelt and practical in equal measure and has a beautifully reassuring tone that helps to normalise the scary emotions that can affect a child whose parent has cancer. For this reason, it’s also an excellent resource for parents with cancer who want to understand how their illness might be affecting their children. Recommended for older children and younger teens. Flamingo Dream Written by Donna Jo Napoli (2002)

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This bright and colourful book is told by a young boy whose Dad is seriously ill and dies soon after a trip to Florida to see the place where he grew up. The collage style illustrations capture the things the boy collects to remind him of his Dad. A sensitive but honest book, which emphasises the importance of memories. I Carried You on Eagles’ Wings Written by Sue Mayfield (1995) Tony’s mum is dying and there’s nothing he can do about it. He can’t always put on a brave face and his dad won’t talk about things. Only Clare seems to understand – somehow, she helps him keep it together. Then, Tony finds an injured seagull, a creature he can nurse back to health. Gradually, Tony begins to understand that death can sometimes bring freedom. Losing Uncle Tim Written by Mary Kate Jordan (1989) This picture book for slightly older children explains how a young boy accepts the changes in his life when he finds out that his Uncle Tim has AIDS and is going to die. It is a serious and sensitive book that covers lots of issues and difficult feelings that can occur when someone has a serious illness. My Brother and Me (4-10 years) Written by Sarah Courtauld and Rebecca Cobb (2009) A storybook about a boy who has a serious illness and stays in hospital, and how his brother copes with his different emotions and feelings. Saying Goodbye: A Guide to Coping with a Loved One's Terminal Illness Written by Barbara Okun and Joseph Nowinski (2012) When someone you love receives a terminal diagnosis, the whole family is suddenly faced with a prolonged crisis. While medical advances have given us the gift of extending life, meaning that a loved one could survive months or even years before dying, it has also changed the way we grieve. Published in collaboration with Harvard Health Publications, "Saying Goodbye" guides you through this complex journey, offering hope and healing for those who may be "living with death" for an extended period. The Cancer That Wouldn’t Go Away Written by Hadassa Field and Christina G. Smith (2013) A story written for children whose parent has metastatic cancer (cancer which has spread to other areas of the body). Uncertainty about the future can be particularly difficult for children (and parents) to deal with, and this book can help with coping. The Secret C: Straight Talking About Cancer (7-10 years) Written by Julie Stokes (2009) This illustrated guide for children provides a sensitive introduction for a child when a parent, sibling, or a person close to them is diagnosed with cancer. It is aimed at children aged 7 to 10 years and will work best when an adult is present to expand on the simple messages in the text. The Tide Written by Clare Helen Walsh (2020)

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This is a story for children of family members who are suffering from dementia. The book is about families, laughter, and how to help a loved one with dementia live well. Two Weeks with the Queen Written by Morris Gleitzman (1999) Twelve-year-old Colin, an Australian boy, is sent to stay with relatives in England when his brother becomes ill with cancer. He is determined to find a way of curing his brother, which leads him into all sorts of adventures including trying to visit the Queen! Colin finds a friend in an older man named Ted who helps him express his feelings and understand what he must do. Us Minus Mum (9-11 years) Written by Heather Butler (2014) This is a pre-bereavement book. The boys think mum is invincible. But they’re wrong. Because mum is ill. Really ill. It’s up to George and Theo to keep mum (and everyone else) smiling – which will almost probably definitely involve willies, shepherd’s pie and Goffo’s victory at the pet talent show. This book is funny and a little bit sad.

BOOKS FOR FAMILIES BEREAVED THROUGH SUICIDE

A Special Scar, 2nd Edition: The Experiences of People Bereaved by Suicide

Written by Alison Wertheimer (2001) Special Scar looks in detail at the stigma surrounding suicide and offers practical help for survivors, relatives and friends of people who have taken their own life. Fifty bereaved people tell their own stories, showing us that, by not hiding the truth from themselves and others, they have been able to learn to live with the suicide, offering hope to others facing this traumatic loss.

A Winding Road – A Handbook for Those Supporting the Bereaved

Written by Michelle Linn-Gust and John Peters (2010) The journey after the suicide of a loved one is always changing. For the people who want to support the bereaved or are asked to support the bereaved (professional or volunteer), it can be difficult to understand that winding road, especially because of the stigma that suicide has traditionally held with it. ‘A Winding Road’ discusses a myriad of issues around the topic from why suicide happens to helping children cope and how culture and religion take a role in how suicide and suicide grief are viewed. The book offers hope that the people who are supporting the bereaved can help understand the winding road so that the bereaved don’t have to travel it alone. Beyond the Rough Rock: Supporting a Child Who Has Been Bereaved Through Suicide Written by Diana Crossley & Julie Stokes (2008) An information booklet offering practical advice for families where someone has died by suicide. It aims to give parents and professionals the confidence to involve children in discussions about the nature of death by suicide. It also includes activities for children to do with the family to start making sense of what has happened.

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Coping with Suicide

Written by Maggie Helen (2002)

This book is aimed at those whose loved ones have taken their lives and will also be

useful for people working with the relatives and friends of those who have taken their

life suicide.

Ostrich Boys (4-10 years) Written by Keith Gray (2008) It's not really kidnapping, is it? He'd have to be alive for it to be proper kidnapping.' Kenny, Sim and Blake are about to embark on a remarkable journey of friendship. Stealing the urn containing the ashes of their best friend Ross, they set out from Cleethorpes on the east coast to travel the 261 miles to the tiny hamlet of Ross in Dumfries and Galloway. After a depressing funeral, they feel taking Ross to Ross will be a fitting memorial for a 15-year-old boy who changed all their lives through his friendship. Little do they realise just how much Ross can still affect life for them even though he's now dead. Drawing on personal experience, Keith Gray has written an extraordinary novel about friendship, loss and suicide, and about the good things that may be waiting just out of sight around the corner...jealousy. Age 4-10 but could be used with younger children. The Saddest Time Written by Norma Simon (1992) Explains death as the inevitable end of life and provides three situations in which children experience powerful emotions when someone close has died. The scenarios are an uncle with a terminal illness, a classmate killed in an accident and a grandparent who dies of old age.

Up on Cloud Nine Written by Anne Fine (2006) Stol falls out of a top floor window and ends up unconscious in hospital with lots of broken bones and no-one knows whether it was attempted suicide or an accident. This book is written from the perspective of his best friend, Ian, whilst he is sitting by his bedside. He recalls all the fun times they have had together as well as acknowledging the slightly different way Stol sees the world. Ian captures the emotions of his own adoptive parents as well as Stol’s family and the hospital staff in an amusing yet moving way illustrating how Stol has had an inspirational effect on everyone.

BOOKS ABOUT THE DEATH OF A NEW BABY A Guide for Fathers: When A Baby Dies Written by Tim Nelson (2004) This book is for men who experience the death of their infant child -- whether it be miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death. Meant to be a guide during the early hours and days after finding out the news of their baby's death, the book offers suggestions for communicating with medical caregivers, offering support to their partner, telling the news to other children, making funeral arrangements, and taking

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care of themselves in a time of crisis. It goes on to talk about effective communications during the weeks and months following the loss, going to a support group, returning to the workplace, and the issues surrounding a subsequent pregnancy. Baby Dust Written by Deanna Roy (2011) Based on the stories of dozens of real survivors, ‘Baby Dust’ is a moving tribute to the strength of mothers who must endure this impossible loss. Fathers Feel Too: A Book for Men on Coping with The Death of A Baby Written by Andrew Don (2005) Available from the Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (S.A.N.D.S), ‘Fathers Feel Too’ is a new book available from the Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society written by veteran journalist and poet Andrew Don whose baby Lara Jean died during the fifth month in the womb. For generations, men have been expected to keep a stiff upper lip and to hold it together for wives and partners. My Book About Our Baby That Died Written by Lynda Weiss (1996) This is a workbook for young children who have experienced the death of a baby sibling. With pictures that can be coloured in and spaces for children to draw pictures and fill in answers to questions, it covers topics such as hospitals, saying goodbye and feelings. It is a simple book that does not go into great depth but could be a good starting point for a child and adult to communicate about the death. No New Baby Written by Marilyn Gryte & illustrated by Kristi McClendon (1988) Recently revised, this book tells the story of a young girl whose sister died before birth. She talks about the preparations they were making for the new baby and the different feelings she now has. Her Grandmother takes her out for the day and tries to answer some of her questions. Surviving the Loss of a Child: Support for Grieving Parents Written by Elizabeth Brown (2010) Revised and updated, this tender book offers encouragement and hope to those who may think they will never be able to get on with life after losing a child. Three Minus One: Stories of Parents’ Love & Loss Written by Kelly Kittel and Jessica Watson (2014) The majority of those affected by the death of a baby often suffer their pain in silence, convinced that their grief and trauma is theirs to bear alone. This anthology of raw memoirs, heart-breaking stories, truthful poems, beautiful painting, and stunning photography from the parents who have suffered child loss offers insight into this unique, devastating and life-changing experience — breaking the silence and offering a ray of hope to the many parents out there in search of answers, understanding, and healing.” When a Baby Dies: The Experience of Late Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death

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A book offering support for bereaved parents. Describes the experience of bereavement and gives advice on coping. It is also useful to professionals in explaining what parents are going through.

BOOKS FOR FAMILIES BEREAVED THROUGH MURDER

A Grief Like No Other: Surviving the Violent Death of Someone You Love Written by Kathleen O’Hara (2006) From mass tragedies like suicide bombings, to sensationalised crimes that make the news only to be replaced by yet another victim, more families and friends are left with the aftermath of dealing with the violent death of a loved one. O'Hara offers concrete, practical steps, and stages for those who are left behind in the aftermath of violence, allowing family and friends safe passage through this harrowing journey. Hope Beyond the Headlines: Supporting a Child Bereaved Through Murder or Manslaughter Written by Di Stubbs, Danny Nugus & Kate Gardner (2008) This book offers practical advice for families in the immediate days, weeks, and months following a murder. It is written for both parents and professionals, giving them the confidence to involve children and young people in understanding and managing the particular difficulties and complexities that so often surround a death by murder or manslaughter. The booklet includes child-friendly activities to do with children or as a family to help them to make sense of what happened and to begin to express their grief. The Dougy Center: The National Center for Grieving Children and Families (2002) After a murder: A workbook for grieving kids www.dougy.org