Difficult Conversations dojo from Agile By Example 2016
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www.bnsit.pl Difficult Conversations Mariusz Sieraczkiewicz @ BNS IT m.sieraczkiewicz@bnsit.pl http://blog.technicalleadership.pl http://bnsit.pl @ms_bnsit_pl 1
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Transcript of Difficult Conversations dojo from Agile By Example 2016
www.bnsit.pl
Difficult Conversations
Mariusz Sieraczkiewicz @ BNS IT [email protected]
http://blog.technicalleadership.pl http://bnsit.pl
@ms_bnsit_pl
1
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Experiment
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Experiment
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Technical Leadership
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Emotional triggers
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# Denialofresponsibilityforownfeelingsandpu8ngthemtosomebodyelse• Youmademenervous• Ifeela=acked
# LookingforanegaAveintenAon• Youdidittospiteme.
# Wetalkaboutwhatwethinkaboutone’sbehaviour• Ithinkyoudidn’tthinkoverthissoluAon.
# Wedon’tdirectlysaywhatwewant• Youshouldn’tbesopassive• YoushouldbemoreproacAve
What triggers our emotions?
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# Givinganadvice• Youshouldhavestartedyourworkwithsheetofpaper.
# ComforAngsomebody• Ithink,nextAmeyouwillbebe=er.
# Goingtobatforsomething• Sendmethatpieceofcodeyoudon’tknowwhattodowith.
# Pityingsomebody• ThatPMsetonyou.
What triggers your emotions?
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# InterpretaAon,opinion• Youhaveaproblemnow,becauseyouhaveonlytouchedthesufraceoftheissue.
# Comparisons• Howmanybugsyouhaveinyourcode?Ihaveonlytwo.
# EducaAng• Whendealingwithsuchkindofpersonyoushould…
What triggers your emotions?
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4 steps of clear communication
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Aprocessof4stepofclearcommunicaAon(„I”perspecAve)1. YourobservaAon?(withoutjudgments)2. Whatyoufeel?(„I”form)3. Whatyouneed,whatyouvalue,whatisimportanttoyou?
(need/intenAon)4. Yourrequest?(expectedacAon)
Atemplate1. WhenIsee/hear….......2. Ifeel/am......(feeling)3. BecauseIneed/want/itisimportantforme........4. Wouldyoubewillingto.......?
4 step of clear communication
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NVCIntroducAonh=p://www.ayahuasca-wasi.com/english/arAcles/NVC.pdfNVCFoundaAonbookNonviolentcommunicaAon–AlanguageoflifeNVCWorkshopbyMarshallRosenbergyoutubeh=ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwXH4hNfgPg
Selected Resources
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