Descriptive Writing

What is not descriptive writing

A list of details.Information that does not help

the reader “see” the story.A timeline of events.

It was so real!

Have you ever read a book that made you feel like you were there?

What details made you feel that way?

The Old CarThe old car slowly chugged down the street like the

caboose of a steam engine train. The car goes up the hill it goes Ka boom , kachunk. The car is old and weathered with rust covering the entire body like cancer consuming its victim. Wheels and tires wobble like a drunk bum on his way home from the bar. Hub caps are gone along with all the mirrors and extras on the car. Black smoke flows out the rotten tail pipes like the smoke out of and old cobb pipe. The local junk yard had seen better cars then this. The interior was a dusty brown with holes covering almost every square inch of the seat covers. The ceiling was hanging down and the rust had eaten through the roof like a Billy goat through a tin can. This old car is my old car and it is as faithful as a good old dog by always starting and getting me from were I need to go.

~© Jace Oeleis 2005~

The Old CarThe old car slowly chugged down the street like the

caboose of a steam engine train. The car goes up the hill it goes Ka boom , kachunk. The car is old and weathered with rust covering the entire body like cancer consuming its victim. Wheels and tires wobble like a drunk bum on his way home from the bar. Hub caps are gone along with all the mirrors and extras on the car. Black smoke flows out the rotten tail pipes like the smoke out of and old cobb pipe. The local junk yard had seen better cars then this. The interior was a dusty brown with holes covering almost every square inch of the seat covers. The ceiling was hanging down and the rust had eaten through the roof like a Billy goat through a tin can. This old car is my old car and it is as faithful as a good old dog by always starting and getting me from were I need to go.

~© Jace Oeleis 2005~

What to think of when writing Descriptively

Can the reader…

…see it?

…feel it?

…hear it?

…sometimes smell or taste it?

Have I used similes to help describe it?

Before and After

A big white house has some trees around it and snow on the ground. It’s by the ocean. The sky has a lot of dark clouds in it.

Telling, not showing

The scene that stretched in front of me offered a hint of shelter from the bitter cold. I stood on the icy, snow-covered shore. To my left stretched the waters of the mighty ocean. The shoreline curved ahead of me to the left, reaching a short arm out into the unrelenting cold water. Waves rolled in and frothily snapped at the edge of the land. Broken slabs of ice had already given in to fate and were lying helplessly in front of me, waiting to be devoured by the hungry sea. Jaws of ice and frozen froth dressed the shoreline’s arm. The crisp blue morning sky above was being attacked by a multitude of dark gray clouds which looked like an army rushing overhead to overtake the sunny day. Beyond the shoreline, on the slight hill ahead, protected by an array of tall, thin, spindly trees, was refuge. A set of three strong, sturdy, white-and-brown buildings were standing firmly in the sunlight. The entire property was wrapped with a chain-link fence. The closest building to me appeared to be a large, two-story home with a small, round lighthouse attached to its left side. An American flag peered above the house and seemed to wave, bidding me to warmth. I felt safe at last!

Assignment

As you read, look for good descriptive sentences.

Write down at least three. Tell what makes them good Descriptive

Sentences (see, hear, feel) Think if they might become Lit Letters?! Hand in 3 sentences by tomorrow.