Deep Healing_ the Essence of Mi - Emmett Miller

8/10/2019 Deep Healing_ the Essence of Mi - Emmett Miller

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T%E "EE& %EALIN#

E'&E(IENTIAL !O(O)T

&(O#(A$

Throughout this )ook, &ou will !ind Experiential Workouts. These include checklists, relaxationexercises, mental isuali;ations, and a!!irmations that allow &ou to actuall& appl& the mind/)od&

principles in real wa&s in &our own li!e. There are C Experiential Workout sessions in all. %ome people ma& wish to do these as the& are reading through this )ook !or the !irst time, pausing in theirreading to experience each workout )e!ore going on to the next chapter. +thers ma& wish to skip theworkouts in their !irst reading and go )ack and do them later as a continuing program. Either wa&, &ouwill !ind that these workouts constitute a power!ul training program in mind/)od& skills, which isinalua)le !or taking greater control o! &our health and improing &our 5ualit& o! li!e oerall. "an& o! the workouts re5uire that &ou to either hae some)od& read instructions to &ou or that&ou make an audiocassette to !ollow. As an alternatie to this, &ou might wish to purchase complete, pro!essionall& produced cassette tapes to guide &ou through this same material. These tapes areaaila)le !rom %ource assettes, listed in the (esources section at the end o! the )ook. ' cannot stress how important it is to regularl& practice the skills contained in this program. <ustas &ou would expect to practice a new skill such as tennis, gol!, )ic&cle/riding, or swimming i! &ouwanted to )ecome reall& good at it, to master these mind/)od& skills &ou must do some work. Becausethe workouts all lead to a state o! deeper relaxation, ease, and pleasure in &our li!e, there is animmediate pa&)ack whose )ene!its &ou will reap the da& &ou start doing them. %o, like most peoplewho are alread& !ollowing this program, &oull !ind &oursel! highl& motiated to continue. 0or &our !uture re!erence, ' hae proided the !ollowing list o! Experiential Workouts and theircorresponding page num)ers:

Experiential Workout F C..............................................................9GExperiential Workout F ............................................................CCExperiential Workout F ............................................................CCIExperiential Workout F G............................................................CGExperiential Workout F J ..........................................................CICExperiential Workout F I ..........................................................CKExperiential Workout F 9 ..........................................................Experiential Workout F K............................................................Experiential Workout F ............................................................9CExperiential Workout F C ........................................................GExperiential Workout F CC ........................................................IIExperiential Workout F C..........................................................9J

'$T(+D1T'+$%EALIN# BE#INS !IT%

A LO*E FO( LIFE

“I cannot stop having reverence for all that is called life. I cannot avoid compassion for everything that is called life. It is the beginning and foundation of morality.”



# Dr. Al)ert %chweit;er

Earl& in m& medical career, ' knew ' was looking !or something 5uite di!!erent !rom what mosto! m& associates were seeking. +thers saw prestige, creatiit&, serice, or a good income as theirreward !or enduring the incredi)l& punishing, expensie, lonel&, and o!ten dehumani;ing &ears o!

training we all had to endure. ' knew ' was )eing called )& a di!!erent oice, )ut it took me awhile torecogni;e this. ' remem)er the !irst time ' peered into a microscope, some three decades ago, to watch thecaorting single/celled animals in a tin& drop o! pond water. ' was awestruck, to put it mildl& 't wasntwith the dispassionate e&e o! a scientist that ' )eheld that wondrous phenomenon through the lens thatda&. 0ar !rom it That da& was the )eginning o! a long loe a!!air with li!e#one that grew into aconsuming passion#a passion that has neer waned, not een !or a moment, in all the winters thathae passed since then. Microscopic Muse

At that moment, earl& in m& college career, ' was lured awa& !rom m& !irst loe, pure

mathematics. And it was this !ascination with the li!e !orce, as expressed through eer& liing cell, thatguided me through m& medical studies. 't is this same committed loe that has gi!ted me with a deepappreciation and understanding o! its expression in human health. Perhaps it was this ital relationship with the tiniest o! li!es )uilding )locks that inspired me todiscoer the in!inite importance o! eer& moment ' spend with each human )eing that ' treat. 'n a er&real wa&, the spirit o! li!e ' discoered under the microscope that da& )ecame m& muse. 't allowed meto see not =ust the innate miracle o! li!e )ut how precious its expression is in eer& person. Through the inspiration o! that moment, ' made the extraordinar& discoer& that eer&moement a patient makes, eer& word, eer& ocal in!lection, o!!ers clues that take us past thedistractions o! present s&mptoms, and closer not onl& to the essential source o! each illness, )ut also tothe source o! the healing powers that can )ring wholeness and i)rant new health to each person.

Miracle of Healing

"& microscopic muse alwa&s reminds me, gentl& )ut !irml&, that m& own health and wholenessare necessar& i! ' am to success!ull& )ring the miracle o! healing to others. ' )ring all that ' am to thehealing relationship#m& general health, m& state o! mind, and the )elie!s and images ' entertainconcerning m&sel!, m& patient, and the nature o! m& role in this persons li!e. Alwa&s, there are5uestions to ask: What am ' here !orM What am ' here to gieM What am ' here to receieM What is thereal meaning o! this relationshipM Am ' to )e a purel& o)=ectie o)sererM %hould ' )e an actie, caring participantM %hould ' !eel m& patients pain or )e num)ed to itM "& microscopic muse constantl& reminds me that eer&thing ' hold in m& consciousness pla&sa alua)le part in the healing relationship. This reali;ation came like a )olt out o! the )lue#that the

nature o! m& relationship with m& patients is )& !ar the most power!ul aspect o! healing, a richreseroir o! energ& and guidance !or the healing process ' came to see that the hand that gies the pillis more o!ten a more potent healing !orce than the pill itsel!. '! it seems to &ou that ' am putting an unusual amount o! emphasis on the doctor/patientrelationship, &ou are pro)a)l& right. To m& mind, the usual emphasis is not enough. 0ar too !ew ph&sicians recogni;e and are committed to presering the sacred nature o! this relationship. Whereas most o! m& medical school !ellows dedicated themseles to the awesomel& power!ulexternal tools o! medicine#drugs and surger&# m& own sense o! wonder was most nurtured )& thedeepening understanding o! the healing powers we each hae within us. -uided )& m& muse, )& the



science o! medicine, )& m& mathematicians mind, and )& whateer creatie gi!ts ' possess, ' )egan tosee how this emerging )od& o! in!ormation could not onl& help millions to higher leels o! health, )utcould make the spark o! li!e, o! loe, o! =o&, o! )eaut&, )urn eer more )rightl&. ' had the delight o!discoering that disease is not the onl& thing that is 7catching48 healing, too, is in!ectious. As a personexperiences deep healing in her li!e, her !amil& mem)ers, her communit&, and her co/workers also )egin to heal through the deeper, more honest, congruent, and authentic relationships that the& hae

with her. ?er& earl& in m& medical career, ' was luck& enough to )e motiated )& a dream, a ision thatwent !ar )e&ond sel!/interest, prestige, and !inancial gain. "ore and more, ' was drawn to share m&whole )eing in the serice o! people who sought me out. Hand in hand with m& gi!ted teachers andtrusting patients, m& tin& muse continued to guide me toward a richer and !uller 5ualit& o! relationshipwith m& patients#a relationship that was mutuall& healing, a relationship o! compassion, passionateintegrit&, and loe. Perhaps the reason !or m& seemingl& extreme sensitiit& to the importance o! the doctor/patientrelationship and the role o! the healing power within each person will )ecome clearer as ' share anexperience ' had earl& in m& medical career. ' )eliee this anecdote proides ample eidence !or howdangerous it is !or medicine to lose sight o! the importance o! the healing powers o! the doctor/patientrelationship and its impact on our own in)orn healing capacities. *ou will see how m& experiences,een as !ar )ack as medical school, proided compelling eidence that ' would hae to care out a er&di!!erent path than mainstream medicine could o!!er me i! ' was going to honor m& own truth and sereothers to the )est o! m& a)ilities.

CASE %ISTO(+

Primum, Non Nocere (First, o No Harm!

The a!ternoon was warm, and the chemical disin!ectant smell o! the hospital corridors mingledwith the sour stench o! stale omitus as we entered the room. Dr. Harrington, the British surgeon,wearing his long, white attending ph&sicians coat like a ro&al gown, strode purpose!ull& to the rightside o! the rooms single metal )ed. +ne )& one, the seen second/&ear medical students !iled in and stood silentl& around the )ed.+ur !ocus was on Dr. Harrington. This was our time to spend with this highl& respected a)dominalsurgeon, and we wanted to learn as much as we could a)out examining acutel& ill patients. The expression on the !ace o! the middle/aged woman l&ing )eneath the white sheet was one o!agon&, exhaustion, and despair. Her hair )adl& needed )rushing, and a low moan escaped her parchedlips with each )reath that she took. 7This woman is an alcoholic,8 Dr. Harrington announced in the impatient tone wed come toexpect !rom our pro!essors. The& seemed to want us alwa&s to )e aware that the& had more importantthings to do than teach a )unch o! wannabe doctors things the& should hae known since )irth. 7%he has acute pancreatitis, a common seuela to alcoholism,8 he continued. 7This disease can produce one o! the most pain!ul a)dominal conditions &ou will eer encounter.8 Without an& warning, he grasped the )ed sheet and a)ruptl& pulled it down to the patientsknees, exposing her naked )od&, her distended a)domen, and seeral clear plastic tu)es carr&ing !luidsto and !rom her )od&. %he showed almost no response to this, so depleted was her strength, and socomplete was her immersion in her pain. Dr. Harrington continued, 7With acute pancreatitis such as this woman has, &ou will !ind themost seere re)ound tenderness o! an& disease8 Dr. Harrington now placed his hands on the womans a)domen, =ust )elow her ri) cage and pressed !irml& with the tips o! his !ingers. Her !ace contorted in agon&4 she cried out, and her handsstruggled weakl& to push him awa&. "& own e&es widened in horror, and m& mouth went dr&.



Harrington kept his hands there !or a long time. Then suddenl& he =erked his hands awa&, a maneuer that causes a sharp pain i! the peritoneallining o! the a)dominal cait& is in!lamed. The patient shrieked. Her )ack arched, and her )od& wentrigid !or a !ew moments as she so))ed. A wae o! nausea swept oer me, and m& )reath stuck in m&throat. At last the poor womans )od& collapsed )ack onto the damp sheets, the last o! her reseres

exhausted. %weat )eaded up on her !orehead, her )reathing )ecame rapid and shallow, and tears poured!rom her e&es. The room !ell silent except !or her weak, whimpering so)s. ' !elt con!used and paral&;ed. ' wanted to do something, )ut didnt know what. Then, 5uite a)ruptl&, Dr. Harrington )arked at me, 7Dr. "iller, demonstrate re)oundtenderness.8 ' gasped inoluntaril&, looked at him, then looked at her. ' was speechless. 7%ir,8 ' protested,7'e demonstrated re)ound tenderness man& times in the emergenc& room, and its clear that this isthe most seere 'e eer seen. ' dont see wh& its necessar& !or me to do that.8 7Dr. "iller, demonstrate re)ound tenderness8 Harringtons oice rose to a demanding growl. ' ga;ed at the woman in the )ed. Who was sheM Was she the wi!e o! a man killed in the 2oreanwar, whose children had )ecome delin5uentsM Was she someones daughter whose songs once warmedthe hearts o! her !amil&M How did she )ecome reduced to her present state, to mere 7clinical material8M 7' think shes su!!ered enough,8 ' said, shocked )& m& own )ra;enness. 7' dont !eel theressu!!icient indication to hurt her again.8 7?er& well, Dr. "iller,8 Harrington said in the most clipped British tones. 7Please step )ack!rom the )ed.8 ' did. But then ' watched in horror as he instructed each o! the other students to demonstratere)ound tenderness#not =ust once )ut six more times Harringtons e&es !lickered toward m& !aceeach time the woman screamed. The message was clear. ' was responsi)le !or the torture this womanwas enduring. '! ' had !ollowed Harringtons instructions instead o! m& conscience, she would hae )een spared these aw!ul torments. Een as ' write these words, something in me recoils. ould this reall& hae happenedM Did 'reall& witness such )latant torture, in )road da&lightM ould ' hae )een the onl& one who !eltin!uriated, guilt&, and ashamedM Am ' simpl& a diso)edient, oersensitie wimpM What crime did this poor woman commit to desere such inhumane treatmentM And was this memor& the punishment 'would !oreer endure !or diso)e&ing the order o! m& superior! Although ' would loe to erase this memor&, ' cannot. "an& times oer the &ears, ' hae reliedthat moment, standing )& helplessl& as six medical students in!licted pain on that poor woman, underthe stead&, searing ga;e o! Dr. Harrington. Thousands o! times ' hae re/experienced her pain and m&own. Part o! me alwa&s wants to step !orward and push the others awa&, to protect this poor creature as' would m& own mother. Another part o! me is a!raid. ' chastise m&sel!: "a&)e ' dont hae what ittakes to )e a real doctor.

%omething changed in me that da&. The denial and callousness ' had deeloped to help meendure medical school !ell awa&. ' was stunned not onl& )& the utter heartlessness o! Dr. Harringtonsactions, )ut )& the stark realit& that this man was highl& respected throughout the medical communit&.He was the assistant chair o! the department, and should ' choose to complain a)out what he did thatda&, m& onl& reward would hae )een !urther ostracism )& those in power. ' might hae een )een puton pro)ation, or worse, until ' had proed m&sel! capa)le o! respect!ul compliance. Aside !rom the hideous incongruit& o! a ph&sician )ehaing like a $a;i prison guard, there wasan important lesson Dr. Harrington taught me that da&. Harrington himsel! was an exceptionall& !inesurgeon. He was sought a!ter !or his surgical skills and his scienti!ic expertise. He was widel&



pu)lished in the most prestigious medical =ournals, and he held respected academic appointments. 'nman& wa&s he re!lected a dominant trend in medicine, with technical expertise and scienti!icknowledge taking the place o! our humanit&. But certainl& there had to )e more to the healing pro!ession Where was the patients sense o! well/)eing in all thisM Where was the caring that wasonce such an important part o! the healing processM

“"he evil in this world is not done only by those who commit it# but by those who stand bac$ and watch it happen.”

#Al)ert Einstein

"& microscopic muse, which had sered me so well up to this point, has remained a strongin!luence in m& li!e. "& interest in the healing arts turned more and more toward mind/)od& medicine #that is, toward the stud& o! the relationship )etween mind and )od& in health and disease. %ince, atthat time, &ears ago, there was no !ield o! ps&choneuroimmunolog&, no practitioners o! )ehaioralmedicine, ' called m& new su)specialt& 7Ps&choph&siological "edicine.8 What ' saw in this !ield o!

medicine was a chance to explore two ke& areas that were particularl& important to me: !irst, thehealing powers o! the doctor/patient relationship4 and second, how we might work more closel& withthe natural healing capacities o! the human mind and )od&. When ' )egan this 5uest, J extraordinar& and eent!ul &ears ago, mind/)od& medicine was )arel& in its in!anc&. Those o! us who were priileged to act as its midwies were er& much in theminorit&. Toda&, howeer, this )ranch o! medicine is de!initel& growing up, and is now in what 'ddescri)e as its !ull adolescence. 'n the CIs, the medical communit& was onl& )eginning to accept the !act that the mind andemotions had an& kind o! impact on health. 't is di!!icult to imagine now, !or example, that een thatshort a time ago there was resistance to the theories o! stress that were then )eginning to emerge. Whilethere is now wide acceptance that stress is a ma=or !actor in certain kinds o! heart disease, that theor&

was met with considera)le opposition in the &ears when ' started practicing. As a champion o! thisemerging art and science, ' o!ten !elt er& alone indeed. Toda& the ps&choph&siolog& o! heart disease istaught in irtuall& eer& medical school. *et, een as mind/)od& medicine is making these important inroads to conentional medicine,the !ull implications o! this !ield o! health are onl& )eginning to )e appreciated. 't is sa!e to sa& thatmost ph&sicians toda& accept the theor& that the mind and emotions can hae a negatie a!!ect onhuman health, in man& cases contri)uting to disease or inhi)iting the healing process. But there is stillde)ate in that communit& a)out whether or not the mind can create health. an we, !or example, teacha person to reduce their stress leels through mental isuali;ationM an we teach people mental skillsthat stimulate the immune s&stem to !ight in!ection or cancerM Eidence !rom )oth la)orator& studiesand clinical practice indicates that in most cases the answer is &es.

"& own work in mind/)od& medicine has coninced me that there are intimate links )etweenour minds and the healing capacities that we all inherit at )irth. "oreoer, ' am coninced that ourminds pla& a ma=or role in a great man& o! the diseases that we humans are heir to, and ma& well )e themost power!ul tool we hae !or implementing health. 'n !act, true healing#what ' call deep healing # can o!ten take place onl& when we identi!& the speci!ic mental, emotional, and spiritual sources in a persons li!e and then change them. Put another wa&, i! we are to heal ourseles and others, it can )e =ust as important to identi!& certain mental !actors as it is to identi!& the ph&siological !actors o! illness.'n !act, this is a ke& premise o! deep healing. As this new )ranch o! the healing arts emerges, we )egin to see how trul& critical the doctor/



the medical corporation has taken its place, as the 7)ottom line8 has )ecome the central !ocus o! !ar tooman& medical institutions.

"he only real voyage of discovery consists not in see$ing new landscapes but in having neweyes.”

#"arcel Proust

A recent court case reealed that the directors o! one o! our countr&s largest H"+s orderedtheir ph&sicians to recommend the cheapest treatments possi)le !or their ailing patients, een when amore effective course o! medical treatment was aaila)le. This polic& was en!orced een !orli!ethreatening illnesses. The directors#who we should remem)er are emplo&ed )& the medicalcorporation#!urther ordered that an& ph&sician who made this order pu)lic would )e !ired. The same!ate would )e!all an& ph&sician/emplo&ee who re!used to o)e& this order. This, so !ar, is one o! the

more shame!ul and )latant cases o! medical care )eing dictated !rom the counting room. Butun!ortunatel&, the o!!enses this case )rings to li!e are all too commonplace. "ost ph&sicians toda& are, e!!ectiel&, emplo&ees o! large health/care corporations. Een &ears ago, most ph&sicians were sel!/emplo&ed, with their own priate practices, where each was !reeto honor the most sacred o! medical tenets, the care o! the patient, in keeping with the dictates o! his orher own conscience and heart. $ow, the oerseeing e&e is !ocused not on ethics )ut on !inancial gain,with accountants keeping er& close ta)s on the ph&sician/emplo&ee. 'n some managed care programs,as much as J percent o! the premiums paid )& patients and their emplo&ers go directl& to thecorporations, the stockholders, the managers, and the law&ers. With an increased !ocus on pro!its, an& ph&sician is considered a lia)ilit& whose st&le o! practicing medicine iolates the guidelines o! the cost accountants. When controersies a)out medical

=udgment ersus cost arise, ph&sicians who challenge the management ma& soon !ind themselesunemplo&ed What =usti!ies such a termination o! emplo&mentM %pending too much time with patients4ordering expensie therapies when a cheaper )ut less e!!ectie course o! treatment could )e taken4 orre!erring too often to specialists. And once a ph&sician has )een !ired !rom a managed careorgani;ation, his career in medicine is placed in =eopard&, since other managed care organi;ations arelikel& to )e er& reluctant to hire a doctor who, in their parlance, has )een 7deselected.8 How ironic it seems that, in spite o! the awesome ariet& o! new tools and approaches to thedeep healing o! our patients, ph&sicians are )eing !orced to eliminate them !rom their practices %wimming &gainst the "ide

Deep healing methods, such as those ' descri)e in these pages, hae the potential !or helping to

counter)alance the assault on the American health/care s&stem, een as the& lead the wa& toward thegreater 5ualit& o! li!e that we all seek. '! thats true, &ou ma& ask, wh& arent we hearing more a)out this new mind/)od& researchM%houldnt our ph&sicians )e telling us a)out such adancesM Well, the truth is that there is an increasingnum)er o! clinics and enlightened hospitals that are )eginning to get this in!ormation disseminated."oreoer, increasing num)ers o! hospitals and clinics are making use o! healing principles andresearch that ' descri)e here: stress reduction programs, acupuncture, nutritional consulting, andexercise consulting, to name =ust a !ew. 'n addition, increasing num)ers o! ph&sicians and health care practitioners the world oer are using guided imager& tapes, such as those ' hae authored and



produced. @%ee the (esources section in the )ack o! the )ook !or more in!ormation a)out these. %till, it is true that most ph&sicians toda&, particularl& those dependent on corporate stipends,hae little time to go )e&ond the )ounds o! their medical specialt& to stud& the research on deephealing. $or is there time, during those precious seen minutes the& hae with their patients, to discussthis topic with them. Be&ond the enormous rate at which ph&sicians are expected to process patients,and the resulting lack o! time, ph&sicians are !acing huge !inancial pressures as well. 'n man& cases,

ph&sicians incomes hae dropped )& as much as J percent in states where corporate medicine hasgained a stronghold. "edicine is no longer seen as a human serice )eing carried out )& dedicated pro!essionals. 't isa multi)illion dollar 7industr&,8 with ownership !reel& traded on Wall %treet, along with stocks !or oilwells, steel production, and computers. ertainl& there are still a great man& caring and conscientious ph&sicians, )ut ' !ear that the s&stem that is now gaining power in the 1nited %tates is chasing man& o!them completel& awa& !rom medicine. 0or pure surial, those who remain are o!ten selling out and )eginning to )ehae more and more like technicians and !ellow stockholders than healers. Deep healing, which &oull )e exploring in this )ook, is, ' )eliee, an antidote to thesedistur)ing trends in medicine. 1ndou)tedl& one o! the most important )ene!its !rom stud&ing thismaterial is that &ou can immediatel& )egin emplo&ing the processes and the philosoph& o! health andhealing that ' descri)e here. Whether or not this )ook helps to sae the priceless gi!t we once had in the doctor/patientrelationship, and once again esta)lish healing as our highest priorit&, the material ' present here can )eo! enormous personal alue to &ou and those &ou loe. The knowledge and skills ' descri)e here, andthat ' hae shared with patients and students !or nearl& three decades, can help &ou )uild a solid!oundation o! health and awaken the healer within &ou. Een people with serious, chronic illnesseshae !ound these principles and techni5ues to )e alua)le !or enhancing their healing process andimproing the 5ualit& o! their lies. 'n the pages that !ollow, &oull !ind the research o! a li!etime condensed into the short span o! a )ook. ' am certain that in man& readers li!etimes we will )e seeing these ideas )rought more !ull& intothe mainstream. But we need not wait !or these changes in order to reap the )ene!its. *ou will !indskills here that will empower &ou, inspire &ou to take greater responsi)ilit& !or &our own health, andultimatel& improe &our sense o! well/)eing. This door leads in a direction alread& taken )& millions who are en=o&ing greater health andlonger li!e through changes in their diet, deelopment o! an exercise program, cessation o! to)acco andalcohol, acupuncture, stress management, pain and weight management, and )ooks and tapes on sel!/help health. 'n !act, recent studies showed that people paid more !or 7alternatie8 health/care productsand serices than the& did !or conentional primar&/care doctors. As a ph&sician, m& )ottom line concerns li!e, and uality o! li!e. To )eliee that this )ook mightmake a contri)ution in that direction !ills me with a sense o! hope. Writing a )ook isnt something thatcomes easil& !or me. ' would much rather )e working with people !ace/to/!ace. But ' also know that thein!ormation ' present here can make a tremendous di!!erence in the lies o! )oth indiidual patients and ph&sicians. At the er& least, &oull discoer the magic o! &our own internal healing a)ilities, a)ilitiesthat each one o! us inherits at )irth. That magic will come alie as &ou learn how to work e!!ectiel&with these in)orn capacities. Thats the track we must take i! health care is to eole in a positiedirection. Whether were ph&sicians or la& persons, there are skills here that can astl& improe ourindiidual lies and the wa& we practice health care as we moe into the new millennium.

HAPTE( +$E%EALIN#

AN"



$E"ICINE,

T%E NEE"

FO( A

S+STE$S

A&&(OAC%

“&verything has been thought of before. "he problem is to thin$ of it again.”

# <ohann Wol!gang on -oethe

"he Physician as $arrior

%ince the dawn o! time, humanit& has )een plagued )& in=ur& and disease. 'n earl& times, mostmedical crises were the result o! trauma or the )reaching o! the )od&s de!enses )& some external entit& # in!ection )& iruses or )acteria, ingestion o! poison, snake )ites, aalanches, )eing kicked )& ahorse, or getting hit )& lightning. 0ittingl&, the goal o! most medical research was to help us deal withthese issues. The medical weapons that science has proided help us !ight poisons and microorganisms,remoe !oreign )odies and materials, de!end against in!ection, and repair in=uries. The tools o!medicine hae )een deeloped to the point that een nonph&sicians, such as ph&sicians assistants,nurse practitioners, and emergenc& medical technicians, can dispense man& o! them and per!orm li!e/saing procedures sa!el& and e!!ectiel&. "oreoer, man& potent oer/the/counter remedies are nowaaila)le that were once aaila)le onl& )& prescription.



The result is that most o! toda&s health pro)lems are not due to enemies such as inading

germs and !oreign )odies. Wheres the enem& in a tension headacheM Wheres the enem& when a person continuall& rein=ures her )ack )ecause she doesnt learn and appl& health& principles o! )ackcare and li!tingM Where is the enem& when a person consistentl& drinks, smokes, or uses drugs to hisown detrimentM Where is it when a person grinds his teeth )ecause hes worriedM Where is it when weoereat, gain weight, and create premature arthritis and arteriosclerosisM What a)out a person whose )lood pressure rises to dangerousl& high leels )ecause she is tense and anxiousM Where is it when people !eel so pressured )& time that heart disease deelops, or the& speed in their car, causing aserious accidentM Toda&, more than eer, it seems that Pogo Possum was right when he uttered thoseimmortal words:

“We have met the enemy# and he is us.”

%hooting 'urselves in the Foot

What can the doctor do in cases where the enem& is withinM What tools are aaila)le when ourthoughts, emotions, and )ehaiors are the source o! our pro)lemsM "ust we turn our weapons# power!ul drugs and surger&#on ourselesM +ur medications can attack the a)ilit& o! the neres to !eel pain or the a)ilit& o! the cere)ral cortex to !eel anxiet& or stress. We can attack the muscles a)ilit& to



tense up. We can paral&;e the a)ilit& o! the immune s&stem to create in!lammation, and we can inhi)itthe )loods a)ilit& to clot. We can cut out the lung that has to)acco/induced cancer. But are not thesecommon, eer&da& medical interentions simpl& 7cutting o!! our nose to spite our !ace8M "an& medications, especiall& those gien to suppress s&mptoms, hae side e!!ects, some whichma& )e more detrimental than the condition the& are designed to correct. 0re5uentl&, !or example, awoman will not take her antidepressant )ecause it causes her to gain weight, and her unchecked

depression pla&s haoc with her ph&sical health as well as her !amil& li!e. A man will re!use to take his )lood pressure medication )ecause it produces impotence, and he dies a premature death as a result. +ra woman will deelop an addiction to medications gien to calm anxiet& or lose weight. The usual solution that technological medicine o!!ers to deal with these side e!!ects is toresearch the deelopment o! )etter drugs, an increasingl& expensie route with diminishing returns.There is, howeer, another, !ar )etter wa&#one which )ecomes o)ious when we go )e&ond thes&mptoms and look more closel& at the actual roots o! our diseases and d&s!unctions. ehavior Is the )ey

't ma& come as a surprise to hear that the ast ma=orit& o! our ills are the result o! our ownactions and )ehaiors. Perhaps this is easier to under/ stand when &ou reali;e that thinking and )elieing are )ehaiors Emotions are )ehaiors, too. And so are the ha)its o! our )odies at themacroscopic and microscopic leels, such as oereating and allergies %tress proides us with an excellent example o! the correlations )etween illness and )ehaior.%tress#)& de!inition 7the nonspeci!ic reaction to a perceied demand8#is a )ehaior. When thehuman )eing experiences constant, unresoled stress, characteristic im)alances deelop, such as thosethat cause heart attacks. When li!e )ecomes un)eara)le and we )eliee there is no wa& to make it )etter, we turn to harm!ul ha)its, such as eating, drinking, and smoking. We cease making wisechoices, and our health ultimatel& su!!ers. +ur marriages )reak up, we su!!er crippling depressions, andwe make decisions that leae us ulnera)le to illness and d&s!unction. "he Non*&ccidental &ccident

onsider the enormous toll su!!ered in home and auto accidents, ma=or causes o! death andin=ur& in our countr&. %omehow the word accident implies that the eent causing the in=ur& wasunexpected and somehow unaoida)le. But when we look closer, we discoer that most accidents,though unplanned, are the logical conse5uence o! how we are thinking, !eeling, and )ehaing.1ltimatel&, most o! them could hae )een aoided. The next time &ou cut &our !inger slicing a tomato, or strike &our thum) with a hammer, stop,and )e!ore &ou curse the tool &ou are wielding, ask &oursel! what &ou were thinking the instant )e!ore.What were &ou !eelingM Where was &our !ocus o! attentionM hances are &ou were mentall&somewhere else, working on some other pro)lem, tr&ing to do more than one thing at time. The conscientious ph&sician, as part o! her duties in the allotted seen minutes o! the aerageisit, ma& )rie!l& attempt to tell us what we need to do to take )etter care o! ourseles. %he ma& o!!ersuggestions such as, 7Take it eas&4 relax more. Dont worr& so much. Take )etter care o! &our )ack.Eat a healthier diet.8 As a rule, howeer, the doctor assumes no responsibility !or getting us to change.%he !eels that she has done her =o) )& diagnosing, prescri)ing, and recommending. As patients, it is our task to !ollow through. But making such changes can )e er& di!!icult. Where do we )eginM A simple recommendation,no matter how reasona)le, does not produce enough motiation !or most o! us, and most o! us dontknow how to produce the prescri)ed change een when we hae the motiation. We !ind it irtuall&impossi)le to stop drinking, worr&ing, oerworking, oereating, or )eing tense. %ince techni5ues !ormaking these changes exist, our current medical s&stem, in essence, denies us the in!ormation we needto heal ourseles.



"he Invisible Patient

“"he physician should not treat the disease# but the patient who is suffering from it.”

# "aimonides @A.D. CCC

We are liing in the 7Age o! %peciali;ation,8 and nowhere is speciali;ation more pronouncedthan in medicine. Primar&/care doctors re!er to specialists. %pecialists re!er to super/specialists. Thegeneral practitioner re!ers her patient to a heart specialist, who re!ers him to a specialist in the esselso! the heart, who re!ers him to a cardioascular surger& specialist. 't is a)solutel& true that we are producing more specialists, with each one knowing more and more a)out less and less. Taken to itsextreme, this means that one da& we will know a)solutel& eer&thing a)out a)solutel& nothing Herein lies the traged& o! our s&stem: With eer/increasing speciali;ation, the patient )ecomes

increasingl& inisi)le. To compensate !or the resulting increase in costs, toda&s ph&sician isencouraged to restrict his examination to s&mptoms and the ph&sical reasons !or them. The patientsthoughts a)out himsel!, his sel!/image, his anxieties, his !ears, his !aith in his a)ilit& to heal or to !ollowinstructions, his general emotional state#all these are iewed as irreleant. '! &ou were to ask them,most ph&sicians would agree that these pla& ke& roles in our health, &et comments a)out them rarel&turn up on the patients medical charts. 't is ama;ing what doctors dont know a)out their patients# and dont een know that the& dont know. 't should come as no surprise to the reader that most prescriptions are neer !illed or taken#and the doctor neer !inds out. At the er& least, ph&siciansshould know this much a)out their patients %uch a m&opic approach to medical treatment and patient care is perhaps permissi)le in thetrauma unit o! a hospital, or in emergenc& settings. Here, the high/tech approach reaches its ;enith as

patients come in to )e treated !or )ullet wounds, meningitis, and other seere crises. "oreoer, their!ear and pain usuall& motiate them to !ollow instructions care!ull&. But !or the primar&/care doctor,who is presented with the da&/to/da& illnesses and in=uries people !ace#the little acute ones and theongoing chronic ones#the tools o! conentional medicine proe woe!ull& inade5uate. How to "each an 'ld oc New "ricks

When ' entered medicine, it was rare !or a doctor to schedule time to help a patient !ull&understand his chronic disease in a wa& that would ena)le him to preent !lare/ups through changes inhis own li!est&le. We merel& gae the orders: 7Do this, do that,8 and expected the patient to duti!ull&o)e&. 'n recent &ears, there has )een a )it o! a change. The pathwa& this change has taken is 5uite illuminating. $ow, !or instance, most o! us are

aware o! the importance o! reducing our dietar& !at, and we know a)out the role o! serum cholesterol inheart disease. Twent& &ears ago, we ph&sicians alread& knew a)out this, &et !ew attempted to in!orm patients. Doctors had not )een trained to see themseles as responsi)le !or teaching people how to prevent disease. "eanwhile, the pharmaceutical companies were hard at work tr&ing to deelop a drug thatwould help lower serum cholesterol. When the& !inall& deeloped one, howeer, the& ran into a )randnew pro)lem: the& !ound it di!!icult to get ph&sicians to prescri)e it. The pro)lem was that the drug didnot treat an& disease4 it onl& prevented it. A!ter stud&ing the pro)lem, the drug compan& !ound the&had to deelop a two/phase adertising campaign. Heres the stor& o! how that campaign un!olded:



Parable for 'ur "imes+

"he holesteroff - %tory

'or months# bright shiny brochures arrived in doctors( offices around the country. &achdisplayed the photo of an obviously distressed cardiac patient# along with the information that thistragic result could be prevented by giving her information on diet and exercise when her cholesterol is

first noted to be elevated. Nowhere in this mailer was there any mention of a drug treatment forhypercholesterolemia )high cholesterol*. +t least not at first. "he drug company $new such mention might well have landed the brochure in the trash can since it would have been seen as advertising for something the physician did not feel he needed. +fterall# the doctor(s ,ob was to treat diseases# not prevent them. +s it was# physicians had enough to do ,ust staying on top of patients who were in crisis. "he drug company(s strategy was to slowly educate physicians to a new role they could play incaring for their patients. "hey could alert the doctors to the dangers of high cholesterol in the sameway they had learned to inform them about high blood pressure# which they did by mar$eting highblood pressure as “the hidden $iller.” +lmost imperceptibly# doctors were being nudged in thedirection of helping patients modify their behavior so as to prevent disease. If the drug company could sell physicians on the idea of a medication that could prevent disease# they would open up a hugemar$et for their new drugs. Within a year this multimillion dollar advertising campaign# through glit-y mailings# professional conferences# and articles in ,ournals# changed physicians( images of themselves as well astheir role in patient care. radually the name of the new drug started to creep into the drugmanufacturer(s new mailings. +t the bottom of the page# it would mention# modestly# “If exercise anddiet cannot control your patient(s cholesterol# prescribe /holesteroff.” 0ales soared. 1hysicians were eager and proud to fulfill their newfound responsibility ofhelping people lower their cholesterol levels. 'urthermore# the implication was that they didn(t have tobe uite so concerned about whether their diet and exercise advice was being followed. If it wasn(t#they could always prescribe /holesteroff. +nd# what the hec$# as long as you were at it# why not prescribe /holesteroff to start with and forget having to swim against the current of patients(resistance to giving up bacon and ice cream. "he positive side of the /holesteroff story is that health2care professionals have begun to ta$emore responsibility for prevention. "he negative side is that rather than discovering how to motivate people to ta$e better care of themselves and teach them healthy behavior strategies# we are li$ely todeepen our mutual self2delusion that one day there will be a pill for every ill.N

"he %till &lmighty ollar

"& intent here is not to malign drug companies, ph&sicians, or patients. Actuall&, drugs likeholestero!! hae worked where dietar& modi!ications hae !ailed. The& hae saed man& lies and

improed the 5ualit& o! li!e !or others. "& point here is that our health, our experience o! li!e, and ourer& )elie!s a)out ourseles, are continuall& @and usuall& inisi)l& )eing in!luenced, limited, andmodi!ied )& !orces in our enironment. 1n!ortunatel&, the controlling interests o! toda&s social enironment are primaril& !inancial.+!ten it is greed or the demands o! stockholders that motiate the institutions and companies that proide our medical care. 0or indiidual health pro!essionals, there is the !eeling that 7times are hardnow so stick to what &ou know )ecause that usuall& appears to )e the straightest line !rom medicalschool de)t to !inancial securit&.8 A!ter all, who has the time or resources to look at something new,much less put it into actionM Doctors are )eing !orced to knuckle under to !inancial pressures in man&



wa&s. 0ar too o!ten the patients well/)eing )ecomes a secondar& concern. The paradox is that technological medicine has proen so success!ul that our appetites hae )een whetted !or eer more 7magic )ullets.8 The success we hae en=o&ed in the treatment o! a !ewdiseases and in=uries has created a !alse sense o! expectanc& in ph&sicians and patients. As patients, wetend to think, or at least hope, that doctors hae all the answers#or will soon enough to make us well i! we should get something serious. As a result, we tend to ignore our health, sa!e in the )elie! that

medicine will )e read& with new parts !or our )odies when the& !inall& gie out. "eanwhile, !inancial pressures !orce doctors to work longer hours and spend less time with patients =ust to make ends meet.1nder the pressure o! the marketplace, more and more ph&sicians are !orced to !urther a)dicate theirtraditional roles as trusted health adisors and guides. The marketplace is conerting medicine into a )usiness instead o! a human serice#the same thing that happened to the legal pro!essions. As costs !or health care continue to rise, and as health/care proiders increasingl& conert tocorporate structures pu)licl& traded on the stock market, with goals to produce high pro!its !orinestors, the pu)lic is coming to hold doctors in the same contempt that the& now hold law&ers Andthat is a er& sad state o! a!!airs, indeed. Habits &re .eality Forming

“"he physician must place his emphasis on 3s$ills( rather than 3pills.(”

#<. Elkes, ".D.

The %urgeon -enerals +!!ice reports that oer I percent o! cancers are the result o! improperdiet. Then there are the cancers o! the lungs and mouth that come !rom smoking and taking snu!!. +erJ, people die prematurel& each &ear as a result o! smoking, and man& times that num)er are ill

and incapacitated with emph&sema, )ronchitis, and secondar& in!ections induced )& this ha)it. Heartdisease, the num)er/one killer in America, is much more prealent in those who smoke and eatimproperl&. Then there is alcohol and drug a)use, H'? in!ection @!rom careless sex, and theautomo)ile accidents resulting !rom stress#all o! which are preenta)le through relatiel& smallchanges in the wa&s we lie our lies. $ow with the growing popularit& o! cell phones, we hae a newset o! pro)lems: statistics are showing that cars with cell phones are inoled in percent moreaccidents than those without. Thats certainl& an example o! a )ehaior/oriented medical pro)lem thatcould easil& )e aoided Een in the most conseratie medical circles, it is agreed that a clear ma=orit& o! een our ph&sical pro)lems can )e traced to our )ehaior. And the most salient point here is that we can changeor modi!& our )ehaior. 't can )e changed )e!ore it produces an illness or in=ur& that costs us our li!e

saings, de)ilitates us @or someone else !or li!e, or literall& kills us @or someone else. "ost o! our )ehaiors hae their roots in how we see ourseles and the world around us. 0eelings o! low sel!/esteem, !or example, can )e the )asis !or a wide range o! )ehaiors !rom eating disorders to 7accident/ proneness8 and h&pertension. With knowledge gained !rom a good )ook, cassette program, orcounselor, irtuall& an&one can ac5uire skills !or sel!/management. *et, it is a rare ph&sician whoaddresses these !actors in the t&pical o!!ice isit. $ow lets add to that the undenia)le role o! stress leading to anxiet&, muscle tension, and all theother diseases produced or exacer)ated )& stress. High )lood pressure, asthma, migraines, tensionheadaches, gastrointestinal complaints, )ack pro)lems, =oint pro)lems, colitis#the list grows almost



dail&. Then there are the pro)lems o! emotional tension and anxiet& caused )& inner con!licts that wema& )e experiencing. To !ind relie!, it is all too eas& to turn to alcohol, drugs @prescription or streetdrugs, and to iolence @particularl& domestic iolence. %o where is the enem&M There is no external enem& to )e !ound in most o! the diseases that plague us toda&. And i! we appl& the conentional medical models to their treatment, an&thing weattack results in our attacking ourseles. 't is a so)ering prospect, indeed

"& patients hae taught me that most o! the im)alances that lead us to seek medical attentioncan )e traced to our reactions and responses to the world, our )ehaiors, and most !undamentall& ourbeliefs a)out who we are and our relationship to the world in which we lie. To appropriatel& deal withthe pro)lems o! modern li!e, not at the s&mptomatic leel )ut at the root leel, we must look withinourseles eyond the /uick Fi0

“I have given up my search for reality and am loo$ing or a good fantasy.”

#Bumper sticker

As a medical doctor, ' am well ac5uainted with the 75uick !ix8 mentalit& so prealent in oursociet&. "ost o! us treat our )odies like old cars4 when the& arent working right wed pre!er to dropthem o!! at the mechanics on the wa& to work or hae them !ixed 5uickl& while we wait: 7He&, Doc, =ust unscrew the old part, and slip in a shin& new plastic replacement so ' can )e on m& wa&.8 Empt& promises such as 7thin thighs in da&s8 sell millions o! womens maga;ines eachmonth, )ut !ew such articles seriousl& ask their readers to consider li!elong changes in their eating patterns. 'n !act, the same maga;ine is likel& to hae a thick, rich, -erman chocolate cake on the coer

%imilarl&, patients are eager to hae their pain relieed when the& hae a )ladder in!ection, )ut as soonas the pain goes awa&, the& stop taking their anti)iotics. Be!ore the& know it, the in!ection is )ack, eenworse than )e!ore, a condition that could hae )een preented i! the&d taken a !ull course o! the prescri)ed medication. The& are een less willing to reexamine their ha)its o! personal h&giene toaoid introducing the organisms that gie rise to their repeated urinar& tract in!ections in the !irst place."oreoer, the careless use o! anti)iotics, such as the )ehaior descri)ed a)oe, has )een a ma=orcontri)utor to the eolution o! microorganisms that are resistant to anti)iotics#an alarming pro)lem inmedicine toda&, and one that takes thousands o! lies eer& &ear While ' dont )eliee that there are man& ph&sicians who would den& that our nations healthcould )e dramaticall& improed i! we !ocused more attention on changing those )ehaiors that aredetrimental to health, most ph&sicians did not go into medicine with that !ocus in mind. $or hae the

institutions where the& were trained gien much attention to this area o! medicine. Medical Motives

' reali;e that what attracted me to medicine was 5uite di!!erent !rom what interests most o! m&colleagues. "an& hae !ollowed a !amil& tradition, )ecoming doctors )ecause one or )oth o! their parents were. +thers were !ascinated )& technical and chemical approaches to disease, and some weresimpl& seeking the prestige and !inancial rewards that this pro!ession o!!ered. ' am a!raid that the less popular motie !or entering medicine has to do with exploring theessence o! li!e and seeing people )ecome well and happ& as a result o! treating them. %imilarl&, in m&



own area o! interest, the relationship o! mind and )od& in health and diseases, ' !ound er& !ew peoplein medicine open to the knowledge now aaila)le to us in this !ield. Een toda& ' !ind too !ew whoeen look upon this arm o! the healing arts as legitimate, in spite o! the growing literature not onl&supporting it )ut indicating it as the wae o! the !uture. 0or the health o! the nation, we might hope that all ph&sicians would one da& know a)out,em)race, and practice preentie medicine )ased on these )ehaioral approaches to health. While we

ma& not like )eing told that our high )lood pressure has its source in the wa& we lie our lies, wecould certainl& !ind com!ort in knowing what to change and how to change so that we would hae theoption o! working toward greater wellness.

' once )elieed that all ph&sicians would one da& )ecome more pro!icient in addressing the ps&choph&siological side o! health, )ut m& )elie!s hae changed through the &ears as 'e watchedtrends in modern health care. ' now )eliee that while doctors need to recogni;e when to re!er patients!or ps&choph&siological ealuation and treatment, the aerage ph&sician will pro)a)l& not )e the one torender this treatment. ertainl& changes are a!oot in medicine and health care. The )urgeoning popularit& o! medical sel!/care in this countr& indicates that people eer&where are interested in gettingwell and sta&ing health&. Books, tapes, and other resources are educating all o! us to the role our ownminds pla& in our health. But !urther changes in medical pro!essionals approaches are essential.Ph&sicians can do more to educate their patients a)out the health !actors associated with the mind and personal )ehaior. But there is such a wide gap )etween the wa&s we practice ph&sical medicine andthe art o! ps&choph&siological interention that ' suspect this is as !ar as most doctors can )e expectedto go.

“I do not $now a single thoughtful and well informed person who does not feel that the tragedyof illness at present is that it delivers you helplessly into the hands of a profession which you deeply

mistrust.”

# -eorge Bernard %haw

.ecogni1ing the 2imits

't is important !or patients to understand where ph&sicians generall& stand on these issues.+erestimating what their doctors know, what their ph&sicians hae time !or, and the honest limits o!their ph&sicians skills in the areas o! preention and wellness can )e a )ig pro)lem. "illions o! peopletoda& know more a)out wellness than their doctors#whose education, a!ter all, has largel& !ocused onthe treatment o! illness a!ter it has occurred. We might een speculate that in toda&s world some o! thehealthiest people are those who hae educated themseles and know how to make sound =udgments

a)out the resources our medical s&stem o!!ers. The aerage doctor cant )e expected to administer these )ehaior/change methods to patients, )ut the& can )e expected to know how signi!icant the& are and what is actuall& aaila)le in theircommunities !or helping patients whose lies can )e improed )& such care. ' dont think this isimpossi)le. Though o!ten caricatured as hopelessl& rigid, arrogant, and unwilling to accept newthinking, ph&sicians hae, in actualit&, shown themseles 5uite willing to shi!t their wa& o! thinking. The& hae done so in their approach to the health/destro&ing roles pla&ed )& high cholesteroldiets and li!est&les, and the& are )eginning to change their approach and understanding in relation tothe role o! stress in disease. A!ter all, a mere two decades ago, it was rather unusual !or a ph&sician to



tell a person that stress might )e a !actor in his headaches, gastrointestinal complaints, colitis, or )ackaches. $ow such adice is )ecoming commonplace. '! the growing num)er o! doctors and clinicsenthusiasticall& welcoming programs such as <on 2a)at/6inns "ind!ulness "editation training program or m& own %ource cassette programs is an& indication, there is growing recognition that thesenew approaches can at least cut health/care costs and reduce human su!!ering. "he %elf*.esponsibility and %peciali1ation onundrum

+ur own health is our responsi)ilit&. But so is our collectie health. As a worldwidecommunit&, patients eer&where are )ecoming increasingl& aware o! the importance o! ps&choph&siological )alance in our lies. "edical studies lending credi)ilit& to the )ehaioralapproach to health hae not )een as conincing as research in other areas. The reason !or this has littleto do with the e!!ectieness or legitimac& o! these new approaches themseles. (ather, it is tied tosome er& !rank economic realities. "ost medical research in this countr& has )een !inanced )& drugcompanies and manu!acturers o! medical e5uipment. The& can a!!ord the price tag o! such research )ecause it will ultimatel& result in the manu!acture o! salea)le products that can de!er those expensesoer a period o! &ears# and ultimatel& reward inestors with great pro!its. Howeer, how does one pa& !or research that not onl& wont result in a product to sell )ut ma& actuall& reduce the sale o! itemsthat presentl& make drug companies so pro!ita)leM Een so, priate research mone& and treatment programs in this !ield are !orthcoming4 examplesinclude the ps&choneuroph&siological programs at the Harard "edical %chool, the H&pertension%ection at Bostons Beth 'srael Hospital, spearheaded )& Her)ert Benson, ".D., and the )io!eed)ackresearch sponsored )& the "enninger 0oundation, spearheaded )& Elmer and Al&ce -reene. ' !urther )eliee that as the results o! such programs are made aaila)le, ph&sicians and otherhealth pro!essionals, who )& and large are intelligent, sensitie, and care!ul people committed to practicing within a alid scienti!ic structure, will em)race these new !indings. 1ntil this time arries,howeer, we must as patients remain indiiduall& alert, do our own inner research, deelop our ownskills o! sel!/o)seration, and expand our a)ilit& to respond appropriatel& to li!es challenges.

)now 3our .esources

“+ $nife of the $eenest steel reuires the whetstone# and the wisest man needs advice.”

# 6oroaster

'ts important these da&s !or eer& one o! us to recogni;e how the medical s&stem works4

knowing this can )e as important to &our health as reading the latest )ook on sel!/help health, such asthe )ook &ou now hold in &our hand. 0or example, i! &ou know the role specialists pla& in health care,&oull )e in a position to use their knowledge appropriatel& and to not expect answers that are too !aroutside their specialt&. The specialist, )& de!inition, continuall& narrows the !ocus to one particular area o! stud&, pa&ing a relatiel& small amount o! attention to how her knowledge interrelates with the s&stem as awhole. To use an extreme example, the anxiet&/inducing st&le o! the media is undou)tedl& animportant !actor in producing some o! the !ear and tension that can trigger heart !ailure in those withcardiac disease. *et, cardiologists do not usuall& consider it their dut& to attempt to stud& this health



!actor or to put pressure on news programs to tone down the crisis orientation o! their )roadcasts.While there is eidence that eer& night the news )roadcasts su)=ect us all to imager& that een &ears ago would hae )een considered too upsetting and stress!ul !or all )ut the most hardened lawen!orcement and medical pro!essionals, !ew medical specialists consider this when the& are assem)linga treatment program !or their patients. *et, common sense would tell us that i! we hae a seriouscardiac disease, we might do well to limit ourseles to the morning newspaper and read a good )ook

instead o! watching the eening news. The specialist is an essential and permanent part o! modern medicine. <ust as essential, thoughrarel& adertised these da&s, is the generalist. 'n )&gone da&s, the generalist was represented )& theelders o! the tri)e, the teacherOphilosopher, the trusted grand!ather, the shaman, the enerated gier o!wise counsel who was aaila)le !or consultation an& time o! the da&. These were men and women whohad lied their lies with a certain inspiration, integrit&, intelligence, and wisdom#isionaries whoseword could )e accepted as true )ecause the& genuinel& cared a)out the people who sought their adice. The&, and their guidance, were highl& alued. +!ten the& charged no mone& !or their serices@though the& o!ten )artered or accepted gi!ts, and the& had nothing to sell. 'n !act, the& o!ten aoided5uestioning )& those who were not su!!icientl& committed to a program o! personal growth andlearning. But where are these wise ones toda&M Where are these enerated eldersM At )est, we hae mediaspecialists#Dan (ather, Bill "o&ers, and our !aorite eening news anchor. At worst, we hae politicians, talk/show impresarios, and man& di!!erent !laors o! teleision and streetcorner eangelists.'! ' am one o! those !ortunate enough to know a wise minister, priest, ph&sician, therapist, or counselor,' can turn to them !or high/5ualit& input. "ost o! us hae no such people in our lies and are !orced torepeat the !ailures o! histor& )ecause there is no)od& around us to pass along such lessons.

0or some time now, the suppl&/and/demand cure has leaned awa& !rom the generalists, the!amil& practitioner who o!ten sered as a wise counselor, particularl& in matters that impinged on heror his patients health. 't seems that these da&s, the world much pre!ers specialists. The& are alwa&s paid more and held in higher regard than generalists. (ecentl& ' spoke to a &oung man completing one

o! the rare multidisciplinar& Ph.D.s at %tan!ord 1niersit&. He in!ormed me that this was anextraordinaril& di!!icult achieement. +ut o! graduate students, he was the onl& one who hadsucceeded in conincing the uniersit& that it made sense to let him !ollow a path that com)ined studiesin two di!!erent departments. The picture that can )e help!ul to all people concerned with their health is that the specialistsare great as resources concerning the deep, !ocused anal&sis o! medical conditions. But we need to seek out and learn to deelop our own capacities !or heart!ul s&nthesis.

%ystem*"hink4onte0t, %et, and %etting

“)+ system is* an organi-ed set of components that is conveniently regarded as a whole#consisting of interdependent parts. If one part or subcomponent is replaced by a different but similar

one# the system functions as before4 if the organi-ation among the parts is changed# however# the system(s function is altered even though the parts remain.”

#Daid %o)el, ".D.



+ne o! the generalists most important !unctions is the a)ilit& to look at an issue or su)=ect notonl& as an isolated eent, )ut !rom the perspectie o! how it is related to a larger whole. 0or instance,what is causing the stress in a patients li!eM The specialist might sa& it is the result o! an oer actieadrenal gland and prescri)e a drug that inhi)its that glands actiit&. The generalist might see a )roader picture, !or example, that this particular gland is highl& sensitie to images held in the persons mind,

and that these images are intensi!ied )& the demanding work enironment within which the patient isemplo&ed. Added to this, the generalist might discoer that the patient has pro)lems at home. Thetreatment in this case might inole a much )roader approach, including instructions or een7coaching8 !or handling stress in the workplace, and !amil& therap& to reduce tension at home. The generalist asks a)out the relationships o! this person, organism, or s&stem with theenironment around it. What is the whole pictureM How does the person !unction within a largers&stemM And how does the enironment within which the person lies a!!ect the s&stem within his orher mind/)od&M 'n what wa&s is the person supported )& the enironment, and in what wa& is he or sheharmedM 'n what wa& does the person support the enironmentM 's the enironment degraded )ecauseo! the person, organism, or su)s&stems actiitiesM These are ital 5uestions, o!ten oerlooked, that thegeneralist must ask.

The enironmental issues we !ace toda& proide a good example o! s&stem thinking. +uractiities, such as driing our cars, hae changed the chemical composition o! the air in our cities,which is an integral component, o)iousl&, o! the s&stem that we depend upon !or the health&maintenance o! our )odies. '! we simpl& look at an isolated eent within this s&stem#sa&, =umping inour car and driing down to the supermarket !or groceries#it looks )enign enough. But !rom the larger s&stems approach we can see the )roader health ha;ards inoled when we multipl& that short trip )& a!actor o! one )illion.

The generalist looks at our relationships with )oth our external and internal enironments, aswe can see in the a)oe example o! how our )ehaior a!!ects air 5ualit& @external, and the air 5ualit&

a!!ects our respirator& s&stems @internal. Eer& s&stem is made up o! numerous su)s&stems. Acommunit&, !or example, is made up o! !amilies. Each !amil& is made up o! indiidual mem)ers. Each person is made up o! su)units, organs, and organ s&stems. 'n turn, each organ s&stem is made up o!cells, and the cells themseles are made o! liing intracellular organelles. The generalist recogni;es that!or a s&stem to )e health&, its su)s&stems, too, must )e made health&. (ather than wait until a personhas lung cancer, at which point our onl& option would )e a lung transplant, how much )etter it is tohelp that person stop smoking or to create healthier conditions in the as)estos mine where he works.

ivili1ation and #nvironment+ 'ur %etting



“It is difficult to reconcile oneself to the fact that one belongs to that idiotic# rotten specieswhich boasts of its freedom of will. How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who

are wise and of good will5 In such a place even I should be an ardent patriot.”

#Al)ert Einstein

Each o! us is a child o! a particular !amil& and has lied in that !amil&s enironment. %o too,we and our !amilies are 7o!!spring8 o! our culture and lie in its shadow. %o it should come as nosurprise that Western culture as a whole has )ehaed more like a specialist than a generalist. hristopher olum)us did not seek to sere humanit& as a whole, and he certainl& made no!riends )& cutting o!! the hands o! 'ndians who !ailed to )ring their allotment o! gold out o! the mineeach da&. The colonies that sprang up in the $ew World were there to support England and the 2ing,

not to nurture the 7heathen saages8 who were originall& on the land. "ore recentl&, the wanton destruction o! the rain !orests !lies in the !ace o! the !undamentaldependence we hae on these ancient and irreplacea)le woodlands !or )iodiersit&, watersheds, andeen the ox&gen we )reathe. Their general alue is sacri!iced !or the special alue to the cattle rancherwho sells his products to !ast/!ood !ranchises throughout the world. Likewise, our lack o! attention tothe planetar& )irth rate seems destined to condemn us to the twin "althusian horrors o! pestilence andwar. We sere our personal needs and ignore the more general needs o! the un)orn. There is no intent to critici;e or )lame here4 all these )ehaiors, and the )elie!s !rom which the&sprouted, were 5uite appropriate in the social enironment where the& were originall& spawned. Buttimes hae changed radicall&, and such limited wa&s o! thinking are too constricted and inade5uate !ortoda&s world. We know )etter. We are onl& now learning how to correct our course and !ind )ehaior

more conducie to our health. 't is high time to deelop a new iew, a new perspectie, to see our world with new e&es. Thischange must come a)out not onl& !or aesthetic or philosophical reasons, )ut )ecause our er& surial #as indiiduals, !amilies, spiritual, and cultural communities, and as people liing in a world o!increasing stress#depends upon it. The growing complexit& and ulnera)ilit& o! our lies dependsupon our haing the courage, wisdom, and patience to open our hearts, our e&es, and our minds to themore generali;ed perspectie needed !or )road and deep social healing the world oer. "he Healer5s hoice

%ome o! the most important choices we make in our lies are those that a!!ect our health and per!ormance. To exercise or not, what to eat, how to deal with stress!ul situations, whether to take time

!or relaxationOmeditation, how to approach disease and d&s!unction#these are the choices we all haean opportunit& to e!!ect, whether we are in the healthcare pro!essions or are the patients seekingmedical help. When m& practice was primaril& !amil& medicine, most o! the people came to see me )ecausethe& had ph&sical s&mptoms: 7"& head aches,8 7' hae a recurrent rash,8 7' cant sleep,8 7' cantconcentrate,8 7' !eel sad,8 and the like. 'n the short run, giing something to reliee the s&mptom is theeasiest, and people do appreciate that: 7Doc, those pills &ou gae me worked great The pain wentawa& and 'e neer slept )etter.8 B& con!ining ones practice to dispensing pills, a ph&sician can seelots o! patients in an hour, and the insurance companies are happ& to pa&. The current medical



ph&sician is not greeted with a new anti)iotic to learn a)out. Penicillin and the !irst generation o!anti)iotics hae lost their e!!ectieness )ecause the& hae )een astl& oerused. Doctors know thatanti)iotics are not e!!ectie in the treatment o! iral in!ections such as colds and the !lu. But when a patient sacri!ices seeral hours o! income )& taking the morning o!! and then spends an hour in thewaiting room, he is likel& to )ecome angr& when told simpl& to take aspirin and drink lots o! !luids.Whats more, now that he can )u& e!!ectie decongestants oer the counter, he is not satis!ied with a

s&mptomatic remed&. All he knows is that he has a 7germ,8 and since 7anti)iotic8 means 7against theli!e o! a microorganism,8 he demands an anti)iotic. This leaes the doctor with !our choices: 6. 1rescribe the antibiotic4

7. 8ose the patient# who will simply find a more compliant doctor49. et awa$ened in the middle of the night by a patient concerned that he may have something

horrible4 or:. Deal with that patient again tomorrow as the virus continues to run its course.

%o he prescri)es the expensie anti)iotic. As a ph&sician, he has !ailed to appreciate the entires&stem, including the patients excess anxiet&, irrational desires, and insensitiit& to the needs o! theculture at large. The un!ortunate results are a huge num)er o! people with anti)iotic allergies, chronic&east in!ections, and the appearance o! irulent new strains o! hard&, anti)iotic/resistant )acteria@E)ola, Enterococci that spread into the enironment !or other un!ortunate souls to catch. As a resulto! these illadised decisions, wee een produced organisms that are resistant to all known anti)iotics'n a general sense, )oth ph&sicians and patients in our culture hae deeloped a oracious appetite !orhigh/cost, high/risk drugs and procedures. The much pu)lici;ed health/care crisis is !ueled )& thishunger. All the while we ignore a !ar more cost/e!!ectie approach to health: disease preention andhealth enhancement. an our current st&le o! medical practice continue to !unctionM The answer is pro)a)l&, 7*es,!or a while, )ut onl& i! we are, as a societ&, willing to pa& J percent o! our total income !or eer moretechnical medical diagnosis and treatment.8 't seems that instead o! correcting our present course, we are moing toward a s&stem o!medical rationing. This s&stem will make the )est health care aaila)le to the upper class o! the what is!ast )ecoming a two/tiered societ&, where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. 't will consign theunderclass to a minimalist 7Doc/in/a/Box8 )asic surial, 7managed health care plan.8 Presentl&la)eled 7managed health care,8 it is more accuratel& called a 7managed patholog& plan8 since illness istreated onl& a!ter it has progressed to )eing a medical emergenc&. Medical Miracles and the ody*Mind

+ur alternatie is to )e !ound in "ind/Bod& medicine. The practice o! this medicine is )ased on ps&choph&siolog&#the stud& o! the positie and negatie in!luences that the mind and the )od& @more precisel&, ps&che, )rain, nerous s&stem, and )od& hae upon each other. We must stud& not onl& thee!!ect o! the mind on the )od&, )ut also the e!!ect o! the )od& and its ph&sical condition upon the mind. The human )rain is the most care!ull& protected organ in the )od&. 't !loats gentl& in its ownlittle sea, a )enign solution o! glucose and )land proteins. 't is shielded !rom outside harm )& thecranial ault, one o! the hardest )ones in the )od&. 't is een care!ull& sheltered !rom the chemicals inthe alread& highl& sterili;ed )loodstream )& the 7)lood/)rain )arrier.8 B& such means does naturede!end this most delicate organ !rom distur)ance and keep it independent o! unwanted in!luences. Eents in the external world reach our awareness through the nerous s&stem, which itsel!receies these signals !rom receptor organs @our !ie senses. These sense impressions are the rawmaterial !rom which we construct our inner image o! the world in which we lie. But to make sense o!these impressions we must draw upon in!ormation we hae preiousl& stored in our minds. What isaaila)le, and how it comes to us, is highl& dependent on our internal enironment#that is, our inner



a)out how we will respond to them. +ur choice is !ound in the mental imager& we create with our ps&ches. Here we hae a positie !eed)ack loop where our )elie!s and prophecies tend to )e sel!/!ul!illing. Herein lies the potential danger, )ut also the potential hope, !or taking a more actie role inkeeping ourseles well. The internal enironments we create can enhance our health or destro& it. Thisis a phenomenon well )e exploring in depth in the chapters to !ollow.

"he ultural #nvironment

+ne er& important additional ingredient in &our set o! )elie!s a)out &oursel! and the world is&our cultural enironment. +ur concepts o! sel! and how we !it into the world would )e radicall&di!!erent i! we had )een raised as an Amish !arm child, or as an 'ndian in the Ama;on hunting with a )lowgun, or as the )lack/eiled daughter in a !undamentalist "uslim !amil&. +ur ps&ches would create a er& di!!erent world picture !or each o! these situations. Held in themind, these pictures o! how the world works and how we relate to it would )e no more 7real8 than ourmental picture o! a lemon or a ride on an eleator. *et these pictures and the )elie!s that go with themwould determine how we lied our lies, how we iewed ourseles, and how we experienced theexternal world. 'n the 5uick/!ix world in which most o! us lie, we ma& !eel a strong pull to sa&, 7+h, m& entireli!e is determined )& m& internal enironment,8 or 7'ts all a matter o! whats happening in the externalenironment.8 But, alas, its not that eas&. We must recogni;e that there are alwa&s multiple !actorsa!!ecting our reactions, our decisions, and our !eelings. %ome come !rom inside and some outside.%ometimes the external enironment ma& )ear most o! the responsi)ilit&, such as when we are rear/ended )& another car while we are waiting at a stoplight. At other times, our )elie!s, sel!/image, and )ehaior @conscious and unconscious are the most signi!icant !actors, as when we imagine that a !riendhas spread rumors a)out us onl& to discoer much later that it wasnt true. To ade5uatel& address our health and wellness, we can get an accurate picture onl& i! we look atmultiple leels, including: ; enetic influences

; <esiduals from prior trauma; Diet and nutrition; &ffects of environmental toxins# radiation# etc.

; <esiduals of previous nutritional deficiencies; Infection; 0tress effects; =ehavioral imbalances and maladaptive habits; %oods# emotions; 1ast and current effects of social>cultural environment"hinking+ "he ognitive 2evel of the Mind

“"here is nothing either good or bad# but thin$ing ma$es it so.”

#William %hakespeare

't isnt eas& to ealuate all the !actors wee discussed in this chapter and make well/in!ormeddecisions a)out our lies. Howeer, &our own mind is the onl& entit& that has the capacit& to do this !or &ou. *our mind can simultaneousl& )e aware o! itsel!, examine itsel!, and make intentional choices



)ased on what it !inds. Animals hae )rains and ma& een )e capa)le o! 7thinking.8 But onl& thehuman mind seems capa)le o! knowing and re!lecting on the process o! thinking itsel!. 't is this uni5ue a)ilit& !or sel!/awareness that is responsi)le !or so man& human tragedies, aswell as !or man& creatie ictories. 'n a sense, it is the knowledge o! good and eil that ena)les us toexercise responsi)ilit& !or our own destin&#a knowledge that is apparentl& denied other animals.

"hin$ing...“What# precisely# is 3thin$ing(! When# at the reception of sense impressions# memory pictures emerge# this is not yet 3thin$ing.( +nd when such pictures form series# each member of which

calls forth another# this too is not yet 3thin$ing.( When# however# a certain picture turns up in many such series# then ? precisely through such return ? it becomes an ordering element for such series ...0uch an element becomes an instrument# a concept. I thin$ that the transition from free association or 3dreaming( to thin$ing is characteri-ed by the more or less dominating role which the 3concept( plays

in it.”

#Al)ert Einstein

"an is the measure o! all things. Without the human )eing, there is no measure. We humanscreate right and wrong, we de!ine good and )ad4 we act with or without wisdom. 't is we who eende!ine what wisdom is and what it is not.

“@ne(s philosophy is not best expressed in words. It is expressed in the choices one ma$es ...the process never ends until we die. +nd the choices we ma$e are ultimately our responsibility.”

# Eleanor (ooseelt

't is through our choices that we ultimatel& guide ourseles toward social success or !ailure,toward happiness or unhappiness in our !amil&, toward or awa& !rom satis!action or !ul!illment in ourlies, toward e!!ectie or ine!!ectie handling o! stress, and toward )ehaior patterns that aresupportie or destructie o! the directions in li!e we hae chosen to go. These choices a!!ect our a)ilit&to loe, to )e creatie, to en=o& solitude, to )e patient, to )e generous or kind, to laugh and to cr&, tocreate and maintain good health, or to ignore the signals !rom within and su!!er illness, pain, andd&s!unction.

“+ll that we are is a result of what we have thought.”

#The Buddha

"& purpose in writing this )ook is to help health/care consumers as well as proiders, patientsas well as medical pro!essionals, deelop a )roader and deeper perspectie o! health and how each o!us can )ecome more proactie in the serice o! our wellness. 't is m& hope that in the chapters that!ollow &oull !ind the guidance to make the kinds o! decisions that create )etter health !or &oursel!,&our loed ones and, i! &oure a medical pro!essional, &our patients. 't is an&thing )ut a simplistic



approach to health. But i! we look honestl& into the past, we will hae to conclude that much o! thetrou)le were in toda& has )een the direct or indirect result o! tr&ing to take the eas& wa& out.Hope!ull& were heading in a new direction, one that is trul& holistic, and one that takes into account allo! the human organisms capacities !or creating health, )oth within our own )odies and glo)all&.

N holestero!! T" is a !ictional name. +therwise, this stor& is true. HAPTE( TW+

"EE& %EALIN#,

A NE!

INTE#(ATION OF

$IN" AN" BO"+

“'urther improvements in the health of the +merican people can and will be achieved ...through a renewed national commitment to efforts designed to prevent disease and to promote health.

"raditional delivery systems )alone* are incapable of fulfilling this promise. "o mount a successful public health revolution in the next generation# we must go far beyond the traditional health care

community.”

# 7Health& People: The %urgeon -enerals (eport on Health Promotion and DiseasePreention8

#mbracing the Healthy %elf

People dont usuall& seek a ph&sician )ecause the& are well and want to achiee higher leels o! wellness4 the& come )ecause the& )eliee something is wrong#in other words, )ecause the& haes&mptoms. %&mptoms ma& come in man& !orms and ma& appear in one or another s&stem: ; =ody )physical symptoms# tension# malfunction# disease*

; &motions )fear# destructive anger# depression# anxiety# sadness*; %ind )obsessiveness# inability to concentrate# procrastination# low creativity*; 0pirit )lac$ of faith# negative philosophy# meaninglessness of life# terminal nihilism*; =ehavior )smo$ing# drin$ing# accident2proneness# social dysfunction# and relationship

failures*(egardless o! the s&mptoms, a similar series o! eents o!ten ensues. As ' get to know the patient

during the initial interiew or oer the course o! seeral weeks, something occurs that )egins to !ormthe )asis o! our !uture work together. 't is almost as i! ' )egin to see two people sitting in !ront o! me# one who !eels trapped, sick, !rustrated, lost, and alone4 and another who is health&, ital, enthusiastica)out li!e, ph&sicall& well, creatie, and a)le to experience =o& in li!e. Through the mist o! their con!usion and the crushing )urdens o! their cruel li!e situation, ' see a!lash o! radiance and hear the !aint echo o! a power!ul and indomita)le spirit. +!ten the person isconsciousl& unaware o! this spirit4 their !ocus is on the s&mptoms. As ' sense the presence o! this other )eing, m& own heart gladdens, and ' !eel a surge o!enthusiasm and hope!ulness. The !eeling is much like what rescue workers must experience when, a!ter



da&s o! !ruitless searching the ru))le o! a collapsed )uilding, the& hear a !aint tapping that tells themsomeone is alie inside. ' attune m& senses to this presence and !ocus m& skills as a ph&sician on itsrescue, resurrection, and renewal. Deep healing is the strengthening o! the patients connection to this )eing, the nurturing o! thisspark o! li!e. The process includes clearing awa& )locks so that it ma& )e more !ull& expressed throughmind, )od&, and emotions. The challenge is to communicate m& !aith, loe, !riendship, and support#to

teach new perspecties that can oerthrow the t&rann& that has oppressed this deeper sel!. Healing "hat Makes 6s Feel $hole

“0urely historians will marvel at the heresy we fell into# the recent decades in which wedisregarded the spirit in our efforts to cure the body. Now in finding health# we find ourselves.”

# "aril&n 0erguson

Toward the )eginning o! the C9s, a dierse group o! health pro!essionals, distur)ed )& thegrowing tendenc& to !ocus onl& on the parts o! the patient that were producing unwanted s&mptoms, )egan to ask a new kind o! 5uestion: 7What would happen i! instead o! !ocusing on isolated s&mptoms,or onl& on that part o! the )od& that was ailing, we !ocused instead on the persons wholenessM8 Werecogni;ed that the s&mptoms could o!ten )e )est approached )& examining the persons diet, exercise,world iew, attitudes, and emotions. We called our new approach 7Holistic "edicine.8 Although our perspectie was )ased on alid o)serations and re!lected the highest principleso! medicine, the initial response )& the medical esta)lishment was resistance, and een hostilit&. Wewere astounded. +ur patients were success!ul and satis!ied, )ut the medical/industrial complex didntseem to understand. Wasnt it o)ious that this 7s&stems8 approach#/treating the whole person, ratherthan isolated parts#was e!!ectieM A!ter all, people were en=o&ing greater health and an improed

5ualit& o! li!e. And the& were spending less mone& on health care The world has changed dramaticall& in the &ears since. At that time, !ew people knew the word stress, and it was rare !or a ph&sician to een pa& lip serice to the role o! emotions or li!est&le.Doctors considered themseles to )e the curers o! disease. Their =o) was to cut out or poison o!!endingagents, not to design programs !or sustaining health or preenting disease. 0or instance, we knew therole o! !at in cardioascular disease, and we knew the role o! exercise in health4 )ut it was a trul&unusual ph&sician whose treatment included giing people tools to help them create attitudes and )ehaiors that would support their health. The success o! modern medicine in treating in!ectiousdiseases with anti)iotics had seduced us into )elieing that, in time, we would win the )attle against alldiseases. 't was the era o! 7Better Liing Through hemistr&.8 'n ps&chotherap&, wed )egun to look at indiidual pro)lems within the )roader context o!

!amil& d&namics. 0ystems thinking allowed us to see that the d&s!unctional )ehaior o! a single !amil&mem)er rarel& occurred in isolation )ut was the expression o! the larger whole represented )& the!amil&. While that wa& o! thinking was =ust in its in!anc& in the pro!essions dealing with emotionalhealing, it was unheard o! in the medical model. %imilarl&, the role o! spiritual !actors was essentiall&neer acknowledged in medicine until the last moment, when doctors, haing exhausted all o! theirtools !or !ighting disease, in!ormed the !amil&, 7'ts all in -ods hands now.8 How dramaticall& our societ& has changed, at least in how we thin$ a)out health and diseaseWe now acknowledge the importance o! li!est&le and stress. "editation, )io!eed)ack, support groups,and een &oga are o!ten prescri)ed )& doctors. 'nsurance rates are lower !or nonsmokers and !or people



who exercise regularl&. orporations hae wellness programs. %till, the changes within our medicals&stem lag !ar )ehind our knowledge and expectations. %omething is missing. We all want tools that will gie us more control oer our lies andhealth. People now spend more mone& on so/called alternatie practitioners @massage, acupuncture,chiropractic, homeopath& than on primar&/care doctors Whether the& actuall& !ind what the& areseeking is not known4 the one thing that is clear is that we are looking !or something more.

What we want is a deeper kind o! healing. We want a healing that doesnt merel& eliminates&mptoms )ut that makes us !eel more whole again. We want to )e aware o! and express all that we are #mentall&, emotionall&, ph&sicall&, spirituall&, and sociall&. We want sel!/respect, enthusiasm, =o&,and meaning in our lies. We want a healing that )rings us closer to other human )eings and empowersus to create a health& and supportie enironment all around us. Is "echnological Medicine .eally the Miracle $e "hink It Is7

"ore than &ears ago, we entered a period o! so/called scienti!ic rationalism. The notionunderl&ing this wa& o! addressing the world is that complex entities can )e )roken into smaller andsmaller pieces, and that each o! these smaller pieces can )e studied, understood, and !ixed. The s&stemas a whole will )e healed in this wa&. When &our car )atter& !ails, &ou need merel& add water andrecharge it4 i! that !ails, &ou simpl& replace it. %houldnt we )e a)le to appl& the same logic to !ixhuman )eingsM "a&)e not +ne result o! this kind o! logic has )een the tendenc& to iew the deelopment o! a disease as alinear process: A person is doing !ine, then something comes along @the cause that throws the )od&into some !orm o! chaos or d&s!unction @the disease and reeals its presence through the appearance o! discom!ort or other ph&sical signs @s&mptoms. The doctor aims to )lock the discom!ort o! the mosttrou)ling s&mptoms while using those s&mptoms and signs to track down the cause o! the disease. Thiscause is then attacked, !or example, with surger& or anti)iotics. With the elimination o! the cause, the patient recoers and, voilA, we hae a cure. +r do weM 1n!ortunatel&, the realit& o! human disease is not 5uite that simple. %till, technologicalmedicine leads us to )ehae, in !ar too man& cases, as i! it were. All too o!ten were like the drunkenman searching !or his car ke&s )eneath the street lamp )ecause the light is )etter there, rather thandown the )lock where he lost them. We all know the a)surdit& o! this. *et, whether were looking atillness as a ph&sician or a patient, we too o!ten look !or answers where the light is )rightest rather thanwhere we actuall& dropped the ke&s. $here o $e Find the .eal auses of Illness7

“0o what if we are headed in the wrong direction# loo$ at what good time we(re ma$ing5”

# 0amil& 0reewa& Humor

Eer& s&mptom or disease has an etiology. The etiolog& is that set o! !actors that, actingtogether, hae produced an im)alance in the s&stem and !inall& resulted in a disease. %uch anim)alance ma& announce its presence in an& num)er o! wa&s, which a patient ma& or ma& not )e awareo!: pain, coldness, num)ness, anxiet&, depression, anger, !orget!ulness, lack o! concentration,



o)sessieness, loss o! temper, an eleated )lood pressure, a mass seen on an x/ra&, pus on the tonsils, aloss o! meaning in li!e or a lack o! inspiration. A s&mptom in one area, howeer, can actuall& hae its primar& etiolog& in a completel&di!!erent area. 0or example, a person who is anxious ma& hae a tumor o! the th&roid gland4 a personwith omiting and diarrhea ma& )e reacting to a )reakup o! an important relationship. '! we onl& treats&mptoms, instead o! treating the whole person, we ma& )e masking a more essential pro)lem and end

up doing that person a ast disserice instead o! helping him or her. onsider the !ollowing examples: CASE %ISTO(IES

%eeral people are exposed to a irulent disease/producing organism. Lets sa& its a rare )acterium. +nl& hal! o! them get sick. +ne/!ourth o! those who get sick remain ill !or seeral months.A !ew een die. The onl& di!!erences among them are the ade5uac& o! their immune s&stems. 'n somesense, then, we might sa& that the condition o! their immune s&stem was as much the 7cause8 o! thedisease as was the rare )acteria that the medical la) discoered in their diagnosis o! the cause.

Two men are in an automo)ile accident. +ne is tall and slender4 he su!!ers a seere whiplashin=ur& leading to man& months o! disa)ilit&. The other is short and muscularl& )uilt4 his musculature

preents the whipping motion o! the head that caused the !irst man his in=uries. This second man walksawa& !rom the accident with no pro)lem at all. ouldnt we then sa& that the !irst mans genealogicalheritage is as much the cause o! his pro)lem as the car accidentM

A woman had a particularl& iolence/prone !ather. When he was unhapp& with dinner or thecleanliness o! the house, he would call her names and slap her so hard it made her ears ring and herhead ache. "an& &ears later, as a single parent, she !inds hersel! working as a secretar& !or a er& angr&and er)all& a)usie )oss. During a time when his )usiness is doing especiall& poorl&, this man )eginsto take it out on her. He stands oer her desk, &elling at her, telling her how incompetent and worthlessshe is.

An old re!lex in her nerous s&stem is triggered. Her neck and muscles on the side o! her !aceand scalp tense up. Be!ore long she deelops chronic headaches and ringing in her ear. The pain )ecomes so incapacitating she is una)le to work. +ne could sa& that the cause o! her headaches wastension in her muscles. +ne could also sa& that it is a disease induced )& stress, o! which the )oss is thecause. +ne could =ust as well sa& the cause o! her disease was her d&s!unctional !amil& d&namic. '! wewere to call her !athers )ehaior the 7cause,8 then perhaps we ought to consider that his extreme!rustration was the result o! an extremel& un!ortunate war incident. He had )een captured, )ound,gagged, and !orced to watch two o! his )est !riends tortured to death. 's the war, then, the 7cause8 o!this womans pro)lemM

As we look at examples such as these, we )egin to see that the issue o! s&mptoms and how we

can trul& restore health isnt as simple as it might seem. "oreoer, we ma& suddenl& discoer that eenthough we ma& )e coninced that were looking !or our proer)ial ke&s where we dropped them, werereall& looking under a lamppost a mile awa&. 'ndeed, the light ma& )e )etter there, )ut were not goingto achiee our desired goal in this wa&. '! were to reall& get hold o! a s&stem !or creating health, weneed to see where were !alling short when we leap to =udgment a)out a cause or a cure. Perhaps the!ollowing anecdote will help. When ' !irst started practicing medicine, ' had man& experiences such asthe !ollowing:

CASE %ISTO(+: (ONAL"



(onald comes to see me !or a routine ph&sical examination. ' discoer he has high )lood pressure, and ' place him on a low dosage o! tran5uili;ers. Because his high )lood pressure is due tostress, and )ecause what ' hae gien him does not address the source o! that stress, his tension )uilds. Within weeks he returns and ' prescri)e, in addition, diuretics @water pills. The tran5uili;er makeshim a little grogg&. He sleeps more and is a little less creatie at work, )ut he manages to lie withthese side e!!ects.

But )ecause (onalds li!est&le is generating so much stress, his )lood pressure creeps up again. $ow ' must start him on medication to relax the muscles in the walls o! his arteries. Although thismedication is 5uite e!!ectie at lowering )lood pressure, the )ad news is that he !eels di;;& much o! thetime. Whats worse, he )ecomes sexuall& impotent. 's it an& wonder that the next time ' see (onald he is !eeling !rustrated, helpless, angr&, andcon!usedM

Let me descri)e what happens )ehind the scenes, the decisions and actions that ultimatel& haea power!ul impact on the total health o! the patient. '! ' teach (onald relaxation procedures to lower his )lood pressure, his insurance compan& ma& re!use to pa&, stating that this is 7ps&chotherap&,8 !orwhich he is not coered. '! he cant pa& !or the relaxation training on his own, he will get pills !rom the

doctor his insurance compan& recommends. The )ottom line is that (onalds )asic im)alance neergets addressed. And lets remem)er that as long as that im)alance goes unaddressed, the mechanismsthat create (onalds disease continue to exist. %imilarl&, lets go )ack !or a moment to the stor& a)out the woman with headaches triggered )&her )oss &elling at her. '! her ph&sician, who is paid )& the insurance compan& @whose contract is withthe emplo&er, diagnoses this woman as haing a 7stress/induced disease,8 it could make her emplo&erlia)le !or legal action. As a result, the ph&sician working !or this compan& would most likel& aoidactiel& exploring this diagnosis. Twent& &ears ago, ph&sicians were sel!/emplo&ed pro!essionals,answera)le to the ethics o! their pro!ession. $ow most ph&sicians are the paid emplo&ees o! medicalcorporations, who are answera)le to the stockholders. '! a doctor makes decisions that dont protect the5uarterl& earnings, she will soon lose her =o) to someone who is willing to keep her attention !ocused

under the street lamp that the compan& has proided. 'n the old da&s, taking the time to gie patients what the& needed to reall& get well o!ten meantseeing !ewer patients and thus making less mone&. But now going that extra mile can cause ph&sicianstheir =o)s and make other emplo&ers unwilling to hire them. -ien that this is the picture, it seemsmore important than eer not =ust to treat s&mptoms )ut to do eer&thing we can to create and maintainthe highest leels o! health. Health and isease4"he $hole %tory

“Nature is the +rt of od.”

#Ancient !olk sa&ing

True health is much like a )eauti!ull& written and per!ormed s&mphon&. 't re5uires man&instruments, each pla&ing its correct part, at the right time, and in proper )alance with the otherinstruments. *ou simpl& cannot draw a line around a part o! the human )od& and exclude the other



aspects o! )eing human. That would )e a little like expecting to get a )eauti!ul per!ormance o! Bachs %ass in =2%inor , written !or a !ull choir and orchestra, with =ust two iolins and a single tenor. Theres no 5uestion that in some cases treatment needs to )egin with medication or surger&. Buttheres no legitimate medical reason, gien the mass o! research that demonstrates the alue o! deeprelaxation, meditation, and other ps&choph&siological approaches, !or going !irst, or onl&, to the pillca)inet or surgical suite. *et this gentler approach is )ecoming increasingl& di!!icult to o!!er within the

structure proided )& our current technological medical s&stem. 't is a situation )est descri)ed )& theold aphorism, 7*ou cant get there !rom here.8

The health/care crisis o! recent &ears has spawned a multitude o! 5uick/!ixes. These, in turn,hae produced tremendous pressures on health pro!essionals. The upshot has )een an een greaternarrowing o! the !ocus so that the ph&sician looks onl& at acute ph&sical pro)lems, and ps&chotherapists onl& look at urgent emotional crises, particularl& those where medication or short/term therap& can )e help!ul. 'n part )ecause the bean counters in the accounting o!!ices know nothinga)out treating patients, the& !eel much )etter when the& can use set !ormulas, written down in a )ook o! standards and codes authori;ed )& the legal sta!!, to count and limit the num)er o! prescriptions,surgeries, and clinic isits the& pa& !or. urrentl& the& hae concluded that patient isits should

consume no more than !ie to seen minutes o! ph&sician time. This makes it more likel& that een the most conscientious doctor will oerlook the moredi!!icult emotional or spiritual dimensions o! a patients s&mptoms. "oreoer, haing worked in thes&stem !or m& entire adult li!e, ' am coninced that man& people in the health/care !ield, een some o!the )est, come !rom d&s!unctional !amilies where denial is the rule. +!ten it is the onl& wa& to suriein a di!!icult !amil& situation. How simple to continue that !orm o! )ehaior as their own practices ares5uee;ed How much easier it can seem to remain detached or een aloo!. 't takes enormous emotional )alance and maturit& to interact in a sensitie, compassionate wa&with a person who is unhapp&, in pain, !rightened, or !acing a terminal disease, and still )e a)le tomake o)=ectiel& sound medical =udgments. ould it possi)l& )e that we are expecting too much o! our ph&sicians to accomplish all this in seen minutesM

$hen Is eep Healing Needed7

“"he doctor of the future will interest his patient in the care of human frame# in diet# and in thecause and prevention of disease.”

#Thomas Edison

As a &oung, energetic, well/trained, creatie ph&sician, with a real interest in and loe !or m& patients, ' had the priceless opportunit& to deelop a trul& !ascinating approach to medicine. When a

person appeared in m& o!!ice, ' reasoned that she had a pro)lem she was capa)le o! soling on herown, once shed receied some pro!essional adice. "& task, as ' saw it, was to emplo& her con!idenceand trust in m& skills and a)ilities to track down the roots o! her di!!icult& and then proide her with thetools she needed to heal. ' like to think that m& present practice is in the tradition o! the ph&sician as healer, a traditionthat is thousands o! &ears old. *et ' continue to respect the trul& e!!ectie tools o! modern medicine. To practice traditional medicine and technological medicine simultaneousl&, ' had to learn more than themodern methods !or diagnosing and treating#' had to learn how to listen and how to keep an openmind. Like a )loodhound ' had to deelop an acute 7nose8 !or !ollowing trails that were inisi)le to



most other people. ' had to deelop skill!ul interiewing techni5ues, which, !ortunatel&, ' had )egun tolearn during m& earl& medical training. ' was taught in medical school that percent o! diagnoses can )e made )& simpl& taking agood health histor&. The ph&sical examination and the la)orator& results merel& con!irm the diagnosis.But in addition, it 5uickl& )ecame o)ious that good medicine should also take into account how thedisease, or the treatment, might impact patients in their lies )e&ond m& o!!ice. How was what we

discoered or did here going to a!!ect the person at work, at home, and in their most priate momentsaloneM A!ter a !ew &ears, ' !ound that ' could o!ten discern how sick a person was during the !irst !ewseconds o! our contact. %imilarl&, when health was restored, ' could !eel that the& were )ack in )alance.And so, o! course, could the& There is a =o& the& express in )eing alie. There is a !eeling that li!e hasmeaning and purpose. There is a sense o! empowerment, a !eeling o! )eing alued and alua)le. The&!eel com!orta)le in their )odies, with enthusiasm !or going out and tackling the challenges o! li!e. '! &ou hae eer parented a small child, &ou pro)a)l& know the experience o! reali;ing,intuitiel&, when she was 7o!!8 in some wa&. %he seemed health& to eer&one else, )ut &ou picked upthe !irst signs o! illness. There was something a)out the gla;e in her e&es, her letharg& in getting out o! )ed, the lack o! sparkle that no one else could possi)l& see. And sure enough, within a !ew hours shewas running a high !eer and was ill enough !or an&one to recogni;e. %imilarl&, when the crisis had passed, &ou could tell immediatel&. Her energ&, her =o& in li!e, her enthusiasm returned. The changes that let us know that deep healing has occurred are like those we !eel with ourchildren#su)tle, &et de!inite. ' noticed in m& practice that i! a person came in with headaches and 'gae them pills that would dull the pain o! their headache, the& were happ& to )e pain !ree, )ut therewas something missing. When ' learned to teach people with chronic headaches the tools !oreliminating muscle tension, as well as the mental and emotional tension that was underl&ing theirdiscom!ort, the& came )ack to see me with a di!!erent kind o! smile on their !aces. The& reported!eeling more in charge o! their lies, more con!ident in their a)ilit& to meet health challenges. The& !eltmore independent and !ree. Trul&, the 5ualit& o! their lies had improed, and with it their oerallexperience o! health. Deep healing inoles looking at the human )eing !rom a higher leel o! the s&stem than wewould ordinaril& do i! we were onl& looking !or s&mptoms. $o one would argue that it is important tostop )leeding, to immo)ili;e )roken )ones, to reduce su!!ering, and protect the )od& !rom dangerousmicroorganisms. But we must also recogni;e that certain emotional states#/)ereaement, !or example #can impair the healing response that is )uilt into each o! our )odies. When we !ail to address theseissues, )ones ma& take longer to heal or the& ma& not knit together well. A wound ma& not close properl&, and the immune s&stem ma& !ail to protect against microorganisms. Deep healing recogni;es that wheneer there is an& signi!icant health issue, mind, )od&,emotion, and spirit are always inoled. A person ma& leae the hospital with their )od& cured, )utthe& ma& hae lost their =o), their !riends, and perhaps their li!e saings during their two/month sta&.Healing that !ails to look at such !actors certainl& cannot )e called deep, !or there is much healing to doin that persons li!e )e&ond the walls o! the medical institution. %ometimes healing can onl& )emeasured )& the 5ualit& o! li!e we can o!!er#measured not )& 5uantit& )ut )& 5ualit&. A person coulddie, )ut experience more healing surrounded )& !amil& and !riends, !eeling at peace and trul& loed,than a similar person receiing the er& last word in high/tech li!e support )ut with no loe oremotional support. 'n spite o! the loss, the death supported )& loing caregiers can )e inspiring, rich,and )eauti!ul !or eer&one who participates, including the person who dies. This is a wonder!ulexample o! deep healing at the time o! death. As contradictor& as it might seem, health cannot alwa&s )e de!ined in terms o! li!e and death. ertainl&, li!e itsel! is precious. But perhaps onl& an ethic o!genuine caring, =oined with whateer knowledge and expertise we can o!!er, can complete this newalchemy o! healing.



"he Marriage of uring and Healing

The title o! this )ook is Deep Healing# not Deep /uring . /uring can )est )e understood asrestoring a person to a preexisting state o! wellness. The track star who deelops pneumonia and isuna)le to run can )e said to )e cured when penicillin renders him a)le to run once again with speed andendurance.

uring, howeer, isnt alwa&s possi)le, amputations )eing a prime example. But een the person who loses a lim) can alwa&s )e healed. Healing indicates a return to wholeness, a wholeness inwhich all parts and su)s&stems work in a new kind o! harmon& with each other. When curing isconsistent with this, it is a natural part o! deep healing. %ometimes healing is more desira)le than curing. A person who repeatedl& in=ures his )ack ismore healed )& changing his li!est&le than )& continuall& rein=uring it until he receies the cure o!ma=or )ack surger&. Healing alwa&s inoles reaching a new state o! )eing. As well )e exploring together in thecoming chapters, it o!ten means learning a)out parts o! ourseles we didnt know. 't means discoeringnot onl& the multiple !actors, the )ehaiors and !eelings that trigger disease responses, )ut also learningto appreciate and em)race inner resources that empower and gladden our lies. When we commitourseles to a healing path such as 'm descri)ing here, the experience o! the disease er& o!ten produces a !uller understanding o! sel! and the nature o! li!e. eciding $hat an e one

'n an& gien situation, there are !actors we can in!luence and those we cannot. We cannotchange our !amil& histor&. We hae little or no a)ilit& to reorgani;e our genetic makeup. We ma& not )e a)le to undo preious ph&sical trauma wee experienced. The damage produced )& malnutrition or ph&sical in=ur& in childhood ma& )e irreersi)le, and ' hae &et to see an&one grow )ack an amputatedlim). %till, there are man& other !actors that can )e changed. We can a!!ect the leel o! stress in ourlies and reduce distress. We can change the image we hold o! ourseles and the )elie!s we hae a)outthe world. We can resole unconscious issues, including ps&chological trauma !rom the past. The tools!or doing these things arent scalpels and drugs4 howeer, the& are at least as power!ul since the& workin concert with the most miraculous tools o! all#the sel!/healing mechanisms that hae eoled oermillions o! &ears within our own )odies. -uided imager& and a!!irmations ena)le us to change our wa&s o! thinking a)out ourseles, andto change the wa& we handle our inner emotional states. 'n this wa&, we can achiee control oer howwe experience our lies, and thus deelop new patterns o! )ehaior. Deep states o! consciousnesscom)ined with healing imager& can enhance the !unctioning o! man& organs o! our )odies, includingour heart rates, our nerous s&stems, our digestie tracts, and perhaps een our immune s&stems. Though &ou ma& )e unaware o! this enormous potential, it neertheless lies waiting to )e useddeep within &ou. "uch o! the knowledge &ou need can )e made conscious and aaila)le to &ou at an&moment. Another large portion o! it is stored in &our unconscious. As &ou learn the principles that 'descri)e in this )ook, ' hope &ou will !ind man& insights, and that there will )e man& opportunities !or&our deeper mind to )ring up new inner resources, to gain insight, and to expand &our ision. The goalis not onl& to understand &oursel! )etter, and thus grow in wisdom, )ut also to hae an impact on &ourthoughts, &our !eelings, &our imager& and &our sel!/talk. All o! these shine a radiant light on the man&assets &ou alread& hae within &ou, thus allowing &ou to hae more access to the deep healing toolsthat are &our )irthright. Through deep healing, we can )ring all parts o! our lies @mind, )od&, emotions, spirit, )ehaiors into harmon&. We do this )& examining relationships with our !amilies and our culture4 welook at philosophical and spiritual )elie! s&stems4 and we look at the principles !or increasing thee!!ectieness and e!!icienc& o! all the s&stems o! our mind/)od& complex. We inestigate honest&,



integrit&, trust, and passion. We em)race the dark side as well as the light. All o! these comprise the =ourne& to deep healing. 't is a =ourne& that takes us to the greatest treasures o! our lies#/not =ust ph&sical health, )ut a =o& in liing that )rings out our greatest gi!ts and instills li!e with new purposeand meaning. 0ortunatel&, to en=o& the )ene!its o! deep healing, we dont need to wait !or the medicalesta)lishment to change. We can )egin deep healing with ourseles. The tools and the knowledge

&oull !ind descri)ed in the !ollowing chapters proide &ou with the cornerstones !or )uilding a solid!oundation in this new art o! sel!/help health.

HAPTE( TH(EETAIN# (ES&ONSIBILIT+

FO( +O)( O!N %EALT%,

"EE& (ELA'ATION-

T%E $ASTE( SILL

“If there is peace in the heart# there will be beauty in the character. If there is beauty in thecharacter# there will be harmony in the home. If there is harmony in the home# there will be order in

the nation. When there is order in the nation# there will be peace in the world.”

# Lao Tse

As our world speeds up, )ecoming increasingl& complex and crowded, the num)er o! peoplewho )eliee the !uture will )e )etter than the past steadil& decreases. "ost o! us !eel we are workingharder !or !ewer rewards. The all/too/common result o! this )leak ision o! our lies is chronic stressand the s&mptoms that are the result o! that stress. The purest antidote !or stress is deep relaxation. 1n!ortunatel&, this concept is either !oreign toor poorl& understood )& most o! us. As we !eel the power to control our lies slipping awa&, we )ecome less com!orta)le with change. We !ear losing what little we hae. This produces an innertension and de!ensieness, a holding/on that resists change, een positie change that promises healing.'t is in this seemingl& no/win situation that deep relaxation is so enormousl& )ene!icial. Deep relaxation can )e dramaticall& e!!ectie in relieing s&mptoms such as in!lammation,anxiet&, and muscle tension. 't can )e a li!esaer when dealing with stress and li!e crises. And whenrelaxation is com)ined with positie imager& !or guiding us through an upcoming eent, it can astl&improe our a)ilit& to per!orm at optimal leels, een when taking on some o! li!es greatest

challenges. B& relieing tension, deep relaxation improes circulation and speeds up healing. When deeprelaxation is used )e!ore surger&, people need less anesthesia, hae less postoperatie pain, leae thehospital sooner, and get )ack on their !eet with minimal complications.

“Bou can only see what you(ve grown an eye to see.”



# (achel $aomi (emen, ".D.

A!ter a)out ten &ears o! practicing this new kind o! medicine, ' )egan to comprehend that

whether the person was dealing with a cigarette ha)it, headache, cancer, anxiet&, or arthritis, there were pro!ound similarities in what the& needed to learn a)out themseles in order to gain relie!. (egardlesso! the s&mptoms that )rought the person to me !or help, the critical phase o! deep healing inoledsimilar shi!ts in )elie!s a)out themseles and the world#a shi!t toward greater sel!/reali;ation and sel!/esteem. 'n addiction there seemed to )e a particular wa& o! relating with m& patients that heightenedtheir own leel o! sel!/knowledge. The most pro!ound healing occurred as the& experienced theseheightened leels. A central !eature o! the relationship that deelops )etween m& patients and me is a sense o!securit&. ' hae heard people descri)e the !eeling again and again. The& call it a deep, perasie sa!et&that allows them to gie themseles permission to relax, to let go, and to trust m& guidance while inthis relaxed and open state. This trust is particularl& important since the e!!ectieness o! the deep

healing techni5ues ma& inole reliing past experiences that were particularl& traumatic. 0or example,in this relaxed state, patients hae )een a)le to relie, and release themseles, !rom the terror o! )eing )eaten )& neigh)orhood )ullies, the shame and rage o! )eing raped )& an uncle, or the a)iding grie! andhorror o! )eing !orci)l& separated !rom their !amil& in a concentration camp. Through relaxation, wecan see what needs to )e learned at the intellectual and spiritual leel, while not oertaxing our s&stemsat the ph&sical and emotional leels. eeper 8oals, eeper /uestions

'n time, new, een more pro!ound 5uestions )egan to demand m& attention. What was the mostbasic thing people were learning as a result o! their work with meM What was the nature o! thisextraordinar& power that can heal so deepl&M

' had deeloped a set o! tools ' called 7%electie Awareness,8 which ' !irst discussed in m& )ook, @pening Bour Inner I. %electie awareness re!ers to the power each o! us has @though most o! ushae not &et awakened to it to choose to !ocus our attention. +ur most potent tool !or healing is the!act that we actuall& hae a choice a)out what well pa& attention to and what well either ignore or puto!! !or another, perhaps more conenient time. The reali;ation that we hae this kind o! power meansthat we can change our perspectie on man& things, and in this wa& change our experiences and our )ehaior. %electie awareness was proing inalua)le !or pro)ing the deeper leels o! onesconsciousness, and !or asking ke& 5uestions, such as: 7Who am ', reall&M8 and 7What kind o! world isthis ' lie inM8 ' !ound that when we honestl& con!ronted these 5uestions, not as a)stract concepts, )utas ph&sical, mental, emotional, and spiritual realities# the healing that people achieed was pro!ound.

The& !elt more whole, more connected to their !amilies and loed ones. The& also reported !eeling as i!the& were more a part o! the natural world, an experience that )rought them !eelings o! well/)eing anddelight. Their lies )egan to take on more meaning, and the& alued themseles !or who the& were,rather than !or what the& owned, what the& could do, or the opinions others had o! them. Through this work, people were graduall& discoering deeper aspects o! their )eing. Throughthis gradual moement toward !uller connection and expression o! this deeper %el!, there )egan toemerge that inner process ' hae come to call 7Deep Healing.8 The deeper %el!, we !ind, o!ten )ringsus !ace to !ace with aspects o! ourseles wed much rather keep hidden !rom ourseles and the outsideworld. The pro)lem is that as long as we keep them hidden, we also hide our greatest )eaut& and our



greatest strengths. As we con!ront what wed rather keep hidden, a strange thing happens: we comeinto our own power and into our highest leels o! healing and health. %ince ' loe stories !or theira)ilit& to teach us complex concepts, ' o!!er the !ollowing, which so )eauti!ull& illustrates this process:

"he )ing5s /uestion

=ecause Cing +rthur(s $ingdom had fallen upon hard times# he and his men went far afield in

search of game to feed their hungry clan. While hunting on the neighboring land# they were capturedby the $ing who ruled that area. <ather than $illing them outright# this $ing devised a devious scheme. He held half of Cing +rthur(s men hostage and put to him the following challenge “I will give you a uestion#” this $ing said# “and you will have two wee$s to answer it. If youanswer it correctly# you and your men may go free. If your answer is incorrect# then you and your men shall lose your lives.” “Eery well#” said Cing +rthur. “What is the uestion!” “"he uestion is# what does a woman really want!” as$ed the $ing with a wily smile. 0ince in those days there were no female Cnights of the <ound "able# +rthur sent 0ir awain)whose popularity with women was widely $nown* to canvass the countryside and return with theanswer. 'or days# awain rode from village to hamlet# as$ing the opinion of all he met. 'inally# hecame up with three answers# each of which seemed to be of eual importance to those he had ueried. &xhausted by his labors# he lay down beneath a huge spreading oa$ to ta$e a nap. His sleep was interrupted by the snorting of a horse. +wa$ening with a start# he saw directly in front of him the legs of a horse# and in a silver stirrup# the most dainty foot he had ever seen. +s heraised his eyes# he saw a shapely leg# a most attractive thigh# and a beautifully trim waist. +s his eyeslifted up to the satiny shoulders and graceful nec$# awain reali-ed this was by far the most beautiful specimen of femininity he had ever come upon. =ut the biggest shoc$ was yet to come# for# from the nec$ up# this woman was uglier than awarthog. 'rom the long# twisted# point of her chin# to the swollen# pustule2covered nose4 from the scraggly yellow teeth and filthy# un$empt hair to the dull# bloodshot# crossed eyes# this face washorrible beyond imagination. “Who are you# and what are you doing here!” she inuired imperiously. awain told of +rthur# the predicament of his men# and his tas$4 to discover what it is a womanreally wants. “+nd what have you found!” she as$ed. “+ woman wants to be accepted as she is# and treated with respect#” he replied. “+ womanwants a home and a family. + woman wants to be beautiful in the eyes of her husband at all times.” “I $now the $ing#” she informed him# “and all those are incorrect. Bour men will surely die.” 0tunned by her aplomb# awain as$ed if she $new the correct answer. “Bes# I do#” sheanswered with a confident air# “but if you use my answer# then you must marry me.” awain(s stomach twisted in a $not. "he thought horrified him. @n the other hand# if this strange woman was right# +rthur and all his men would die. He reali-ed that he had no choice. If oneof his answers was correct# the men would go free and he would have no need to use hers. If heranswer proved necessary# then marrying her would be a worthwhile sacrifice. “Eery well#” he agreed. “What(s the correct answer!” “+ woman wants to have her way#” she replied. 0o off awain rode and with +rthur proceeded to the fateful meeting with the $ing. +s awain offered each of the three answers# the $ing(s response was the same. He nodded and said# “Worthy answer# worthy answer. =ut not the correct one.” 'inally# in desperation# awain blurted out# “+ woman wants to have things her way.” “+rrgh5” snorted the $ing. “Bou must have been tal$ing to my sister. +h# well# that is the



want our medical )ills paid )& someone else. The enormous amount o! mone& that is spent on medicalmalpractice suits and on medical tests whose primar& purpose is to protect the ph&sician is staggeringand re!lects the irrationalit& o! our s&stem. @+ne law&er smugl& in!ormed me that in law school he wastaught that 7".D.8 stood !or 7"ight& Deep Pockets.8 ' )ring this up )ecause deep healing can onl& occur as we con!ront the arious wa&s that we )lock the process. The ictim role is one o! the greatest weapons we hae against real healing, and

)ecause it is so prealent in our culture, we learn the pattern as i! )& osmosis. We learn it so easil& andat such an unconscious leel that when were most immersed in it we are also the most )lind to it. 0orour own healing, its critical to take a closer look at how it mani!ests in our lies, particularl& in ourrelationship to the medical s&stem to which we turn !or help when we are ill. '! were to trul& em)race that part o! us#the )ride in the stor& ' =ust told#we hae to )rae thehidden ugliness o! this theme. But take heart, the reward !or &our e!!orts trul& will )e to hae it &ourown wa&. 3our Health4$hose .esponsibility7

harlatans, panderers, and cleer marketing specialists hae capitali;ed on our irrationalit&a)out health care )& !eeding and !anning the !lames o! ictimi;ation and resentment. The& do this )&maligning the medical pro!ession and o!!ering !or sale an un)eliea)le plethora o! unproen, illogical,and sometimes !rankl& dangerous 7alternatie8 nostrums. 1n!ortunatel&, this pla&s all too well into thedenial that protects doctors !rom haing to open their minds to legitimate growth and change. Thereare, er& clearl&, power!ul alternaties to the wa&s in which medicine is presentl& practiced. But!inding them is not alwa&s eas& in a climate where all too man& opportunists are read& to exploit our present dissatis!action and desire !or something more ' )eliee that m& health is m& responsi)ilit&, and &our health is &our responsi)ilit&. '! ' want torun a marathon, clim) "ount Eerest, pla& tennis wearing a wet suit, drink two 5uarts o! alcohol, orstick m& !inger into an electrical socket, ' )eliee ' hae the right to do that But ' also )eliee that 'hae the responsi)ilit& @response2abilitythe a)ilit& to respond to cope with an& negatie outcomesthat might come out o! m& choices. When we tr& to protect people !rom the realistic conse5uences o!their actions, the& )ecome less and less capa)le o! choosing appropriate )ehaiors, and the more the&are likel& to engage in pursuits that are dangerous to themseles and to others. 'n the ideal world, wedhae the !reedom to make our own mistakes#and correct them as well That would )e trueresponsi)ilit&. Howeer, i! were to !ull& understand the meaning o! responsi)ilit&, its necessar& tolook at how our lies intertwine, how we are actuall& dependent on one another. People $ho Need People

+ little learning is a dangerous thing# Drin$ deep# or taste not the 1ierian spring "here shallow draughts intoxicate the brain# +nd drin$ing largely sobers us again.

#Alexander Pope

Lets !ace it, in toda&s world more than eer, we need each other. +nl& the luckiest, hardiest,and most talented and committed among us hae een a prayer o! suriing the harsh li!e o! the ruggedindiidualist who does it all himsel!. To this tough )unch, growing their own !ood and generating theirelectricit& with wind/drien generators, ' )ow low, and marel as the& recount their exploits. ' donteen dream o! )ecoming one o! them. As !or the rest o! us, we are all interdependent, our lies interwoen in a rich and complex



pattern o! dependencies. '! &ou dou)t this, tell me how to deelop a cure !or A'D% in &our homela)orator&, or how to design the logic )oard on &our computer, or een how to get the !ood to &ourta)le !rom the !armers !ield, miles awa&. Eer& time we =ump in the car to drie across town,were drawing upon an interdependenc& o! manu!acturers, oil re!iners, truckers, highwa& constructionworkers, railroads...the list goes on and on. We are dependent upon each other to )uild the structuresand engineer the e5uipment that each o! us needs to )e success!ul, to surie and to thrie. We need

each other to create the tools re5uired in our )usinesses, cars, computers, clothing, !urniture, homes, )uildings, and shoes. To maintain our modern wa& o! li!e, we need plum)ers, electricians, highwa&maintenance workers, teachers, sales people, and doctors. 0urthermore, the high/speed, high/oltage complexities o! our enironment hae gien )irth todangers that onl& specialists can understand. 0or example, how could we indiiduall& ealuate thedependa)ilit& o! the )rakes on a new car, the sa!et& procedures o! the commercial airline, or the 7sa!e8degree o! pesticides in our !ood, much less the impact on the enironment caused )& the )ehaior o!our eer/expanding )illions o! planet/mates: nuclear contamination, o;one holes, glo)al warming, anddeadl& new diseasesM But it is our responsi)ilit& to !ind and emplo& people who can do these things,and to care!ull& consider their adice )e!ore making our decisions, indiiduall&, and as a group.

“8isten to what the experts say# but always rely on your own ,udgment.”

#Al)ert Einstein

People $ho Need "hemselves

Each o! us must )ear the indiidual responsi)ilit& o! determining what is at the root o! our personal pro)lems, whether it is mental, ph&sical, emotional, spiritual, social, or !inancial, and to

deelop or !ind solutions !or them. Toda&s health pro!essionals stud& the knowledge and approacheso! a particular specialt&. The& are tested on their competence in that specialt& and are granted a licenseto practice, hospital priileges, and een the right to prescri)e drugs, )ased on this kind o! learning. But as the consumers o! medical serices, we must indiiduall& decide !or ourseles when it is prudent and wise to seek health adice !rom a ph&sicianOspecialist, whether and when to appl& thatadice, and when and how to explore other possi)ilities. "an& doctors delier their adice as i! the&had hotlines to -od. As their patients, we must hae the personal strength to know that the& are notalwa&s so diinel& guided, and to make our own decisions accordingl&. +n the other hand, =ust as &ou pro)a)l& cant personall& repair &our sewage s&stem, cellulartelephone, or the a5ueduct that proides &our drinking water, &ou cannot indiiduall& )e expected todeelop anti)iotics at home, or to conduct clinical trials o! new surgical techni5ues. 't is a !act that i!

&ou set out to merel& read the volumes o! the scienti!ic research pu)lished each da&, it would )eoerwhelming !or an& human )eing, specialist or not We need each other. We need specialists4 we need health pro!essionals. (ather than reinentingthe wheel, we must learn what competent, trustworth&, and legitimate practitioners hae !ound to )euse!ul and sa!e. That re5uires asking 5uestions when a doctor prescri)es a certain course o! treatment!or us. 't takes time and some e!!ort on our part. 't ma& een re5uire doing a little reading in themedical li)rar& or asking the pharmacist who !ills our prescription !or a printout a)out the drug weregoing to take. B& law, pharmacies now hae to proide such in!ormation. %u)scri)e to a newsletter )&a competent ph&sician and, a)oe all, insist on explanations that &ou can understand. Were not used to



doing things that wa&. But taking this kind o! responsi)ilit& is the onl& wa& we can trael the path totrue health. 1ltimatel&, each o! us has to take responsi)ilit& !or our own health. $o one else will, orcan. To )e trul& responsi)le !or our health and well/)eing, we must look at a wide ariet& o!interactions )etween ourseles and others. The onl& true healing is holistic in nature, that is, a!!ectingeer& part o! our lies. Taking this kind o! responsi)ilit& goes )e&ond simpl& correcting a disease or

disorder. 't means looking at what came )e!ore the disease, the patterns o! )ehaior we might hae )een !ollowing that somehow contri)uted to our illness. And it means making wise, in!ormed decisions!ollowing treatment so that we can not onl& 7cure8 )ut 7heal.8 '! that means reading more newslettersand )ooks on healing, or going to pu)lic lectures where health issues are discussed, so )e it. '! it meanstalking to other ph&sicians, getting second opinions, or checking out ideos !rom a local hospital orH"+, its going to )e time well spent. 2evels of the Human %ystem+ Mind, ody, #motion, and %pirit

%ince the adent o! the 7%el!/Help Era,8 with its increased awareness o! ps&chological issues,we hae )een !re5uentl& reminded that a human )eing is more than the )od&, that health inoles mind, )od&, emotion, and spirit. There is, howeer, one important !eature o! this )asic truth that is o!tenoerlooked. '! we think o! these !our in the same wa& that we think o! !our ingredients in cooking# sa&, eggs, !lour, milk, and sugar#we make an error. %pirit, mind, emotions, and )od& representdi!!erent leels in the hierarch& o! our s&stem, )ut the& are woen together in a wa& that one cannot )eseparated !rom another. B& wa& o! analog&, imagine that &ou are in an o!!ice at an Arm& )ase sitting in the room with a!ie/star general, a lieutenant, a sergeant, and a new recruit. There are certain o)ious similarities#allare male, all are wearing the same color uni!orm, and all are sitting in similar chairs. *ou might almost )e tempted to oerlook the small di!!erences in the num)er o! stripes on their sleee or stars on theirshoulders. '! &our goal was to in!luence the Arm& to attack, retreat, or )u& &our compan&s product,treating them all as e5uals would )e er& unwise.

+nl& the general could make a decision !or the entire Arm&, and onl& the general could decideupon an& large/scale moement o! troops. 'n !act, een i! &ou were so persuasie as to conince thelieutenant to hae his men attack a target that was not approed )& the general, &ou would succeed onl&in creating chaos and getting the lieutenant court/marshaled and retired !rom serice.



*our )od&, emotions, mind @intellect, cognition, and spirit stand in a similar hierarchicalarrangement. 'n!luencing one o! the lower leels without permission and participation )& higher leelscan result in another kind o! chaos and inactiation, which is =ust the opposite o! healing. 't might )e well to recall again the !undamental unit&, or wholeness, o! the indiidual#mindand )od& are, !or instance, no more separa)le !rom one another than are the hen and her a)ilit& to produce eggs. *et, !or all practical purposes, =ust as we must distinguish )etween chicken and egg, it

ma& )e help!ul to look at these aspects o! our wholeness separatel& )ut alwa&s with the understandingthat the& must )e studied in context. We can correctl& understand them onl& with re!erence to thes&stem as a whole. Mind 'ver Matter

ertain 5ualities emerge as we go up the leels o! an& s&stem. The higher @superordinate leelsare )est designed to control lower @su)ordinate ones )ased on !eed)ack !rom those leels. Actionstaking place within the higher leels @thoughts and images inole small amounts o! matter@nanograms o! neurotransmitters and ma& seem inconse5uential. *et, when the channels o!communication are open and !unctioning smoothl&, these su)tle changes hae a pro!ound impact whenthe& in!luence actions carried out at lower leels. The generals pencil draws a single line across a map. At this leel, er& little material isinoled, =ust whateer graphite material !rom the pencil ru)s o!! on the paper. But one week latermillions o! tons o! high explosies and two million soldiers inade that area marked on the mapLikewise, minute changes in &our thinking can pla& themseles out in enormous ph&sical changes. Welook up at the sk& and notice that rain is on its wa&. 0rom this mental image comes a series o! actions4we rush outside and unclip a huge load o! clothes !rom the clothesline, !old them neatl&, then carr&them into the house. %elective &wareness4How It Influences #motions and odily Functions

Had we looked up into the sk&, noted dark, hea& clouds gathering oerhead, and decided thatthis meant onl& one thing#that we should run into the house and get an um)rella#we might haeended up with a line !ull o! sopping wet clothes. But our awareness o! the clothes on the line and whatwould happen to them i! it rained proided us with a model, or template, !or a di!!erent course o! action #to gather up the clothes so that the& wouldnt get soaked. Thinking is )asicall& a linear process. Although there are millions o! di!!erent thoughts thatcould possi)l& )e )rought to mind, in !act onl& one thought can )e held at an& gien moment. +urawareness is selectie4 intentionall& or unintentionall&, our minds !ocus on onl& one thought at a time.'t is this capacit& to !ocus, literall& selecting where we will place our attention or awareness, thatallows us to consciousl& choose the mental image upon which we will )ase a choice to take action. 0orexample, &ou might look up in the sk&, notice the dark clouds, and suddenl& )ecome er& !ear!ul )ecause the last time &ou saw clouds that dark &ou were a child and &our house was hit )& a tornado.This image triggers the emotional )ehaior o! !ear with memories o! destruction all around &ou. 0or amoment, &ou are drien )& !ear, which )egan with the image o! the cloud. *our mental image, in turn, determines the 5ualit& o! &our emotional state. Wrapped up inmemories o! the tornado, we go into a state o! panic, resulting in our running into the cellar !or protection. But i! we relax and inhi)it that image !or a moment, we recogni;e that were not liing intornado countr&, and the clouds we see are onl& rain clouds. That more appropriate image results in our hurriedl& )ut e!!icientl& gra))ing the clothes o!! the line. The )ottom line is that our a)ilit& tointentionally focus @that is, hae selectie awareness allowed us to take appropriate action in the lattercase. With an& image we hold in our minds, we are going to hae some chemical reactions take placein our )od&. We can literall& !eel the e!!ects o! chemicals and hormones secreted )& su)cortical centers



and neres surging through our )odies when we hold a !ear!ul image in our minds. And when we holda relaxed and peace!ul image, we experience the e!!ects o! a er& di!!erent set o! hormones and )od&chemistr&. 'n this wa&, our mental images create the !ramework !or the )ehaior o! the ph&sical )od&.When the image triggers !ear, our muscles and internal organs prepare to run or !ight. When the imageis calming and peace!ul, our muscles receie chemical signals to let go and rest. With each and eer&image, large or small, a multitude o! internal )ehaiors is stimulated, een at the su)cellular leels. 'n

!act, it is o!ten these su)cellular changes that allow the medical la) to determine &our leel o! health ordisease. 0or each o! us, our thoughts are chosen according to speci!ic patterns that we hae learnedduring our li!etimes. %ome o! this learning has )een conscious and intentional, such as the kind o!training the mind receies !rom reading a )ook or stud&ing a certain su)=ect oer a period o! &ears.+ther learning is less intentional, such as the !ears or sense o! shame we learned !rom )eing raised in ahighl& d&s!unctional !amil&. +ut o! the sum total o! our knowledge#conscious and unconscious#wedeelop algorithms# which is =ust a !anc& wa& o! sa&ing formulas for solving problems that arise in our lives. These !ormulas !or liing will determine how we think, see, !eel, )eliee and act. Here, in iiddetail, maintained )& algorithms, is the =ourne& !rom mind to matter. As an example, a person raised )& a parent who drank and )ecame a)usie when !eeling pressured ma& adopt that algorithm as a pro)lemsoling !ormula !or their own lies. +r, o! course, the&ma& re=ect that algorithm and look !or )ehaiors that sole their stress pro)lem less destructiel&.%imilarl&, the person who was raised in a !amil& situation where there was a concerted e!!ort to seekappropriate causes and reall& make a sincere e!!ort to e!!ect solutions that were widel& )ene!icial, willtend to adopt that algorithm in their li!e. There is no reason !or this person to seek signi!icant change. The algorithm, )ehaioral pattern, set o! rules, or moral or ethical code that &ou use !orselecting &our thoughts is represented )& what ' re!er to as &our philosophical or spiritual s&stem. 't isa higher leel than mere thought, and its !unction is to proide a !ramework, or guide, !or thinking. 't isa potent !orce in selecting the kinds o! thoughts and images that pass through our awareness. 'n turn, aswee )egun to see, these images trigger choices that result in )oth inner and outer actions. Within themodel o! the human mind/)od& 'e )een presenting so !ar, spirit is seen as the highest leel o! &ourinner hierarch&. Thought is lightning !ast. As such, it ma& )e )est understood as electrical in nature. We canchange a thought through a tin& shi!t o! an electrical charge, moing a mass o! electrons that can )arel& )e measured )& een our most sophisticated technolog&. %imilarl&, creating a mental image andholding it in our minds re5uires the moement o! su)microscopic amounts o! chemicals, calledneurotransmitters, that in spite o! their nearl& in!initesimal mass, are !ar more massie than theelectrons o! thought. As tin& as these chemicals components are, the& are the things !rom which ourmental images are made. The& represent the glue that holds our algorithms intact within ourconsciousnesses. We experience emotion when a current mental image @the rain cloud oerhead triggers thememories o! past experiences @a tornado &ears )e!ore, deepl& held )elie!s @that the world is adangerous place, and philosophical s&stems @its eer& man !or himsel!. When an emotion istriggered, it is represented in our nerous s&stem )& a still larger 5uantit& o! chemicals than werere5uired to create the mental image, and it takes a little longer !or us to )ecome aware o! them. Ando)iousl& the moement o! a muscle, the production o! an anti)od&, or a change in the growth rate o!cells re5uires much more complex and massie ph&sical/chemical changes, and thus ma& take longerthan an& o! these, measured in seconds, minutes, da&s, or een weeks. learl&, the more control we hae oer the thoughts that !low through our minds, the )etter wecan guide the healing process: !rom the image we create in our mind, to chemical or electrical actiit&,to an actual change in the muscular responses o! the )lood essels in &our sinus mem)ranes, to the production o! certain kinds o! cells in &our immune s&stem designed to destro& a speci!ic irus, to the



creation o! new cells to repair a cut !inger. All these !actors are inoled in the mind/)od& connection that we work with in healing. Tounderstand this !low o! in!ormation and control !rom spiritual to ph&siological leel is to )egin to graspthe power we each hold to change our lies !or the )etter#or, as it were, in the opposite direction. $ext we will examine how our state o! consciousness a!!ects our thinking. %tates of onsciousness

“"here can be no transforming of dar$ness into light and of apathy into movement without emotions.”

# .-. <ung

When ' )egan m& exploration o! clinical h&pnosis, ' discoered that, like the !ield o! medicine,

this one was er& practitioner/oriented. That is, h&pnotists acted as i! the& were the center o! the process, as i! the& had some sort o! 7power8 that could ma$e people change, een against their ownwill. %tage h&pnotists still perpetuate this m&th. Actuall&, the situation is 5uite the opposite. Theh&pnotic state is a means !or helping the su)=ect get out o! her own wa&4 it is a wa& to empower thathealing part that ' spoke o! in hapter Two, to come !orth and create positie change. The commonl& held m&th o! h&pnosis supposes there is a single, uni5ue waking state, and a5uite di!!erent @and m&sterious h&pnotic state. The truth o! the matter is that there are actuall& manydi!!erent states o! consciousness. B& state of consciousness ' mean a particular mode o! operation o! the mind/)od& complex. The!ield o! h&pnosis o!!ers a collection o! speci!ic tools and procedures through which one canintentionall& shi!t !rom one state o! consciousness to another.

“"here are 7#6GG#GGG#GGG#GGG#GGG connections among the nerve cells of the brain . . . "hismeans that there are more possible mental states in each person(s brain than there are atoms in the

$nown universe.”

# Ernest (ossi

We are all aware o! the !act that on a particular da& we ma& !eel happ&, on another sad, and onanother nerous, although we ma& )e una)le to !igure out wh& we experience these di!!erences.ollo5uiall&, we ma& sa&, 7' must hae gotten up on the wrong side o! the )ed.8 +n one da&, we ma& notice that it is 5uite eas& to sing a song, write a )ook, or tackle chores thatneed to )e done4 then, m&steriousl&, the next da& we cant sing in tune, concentrate, or seem to !ind theenerg& to work. +n another da&, we ma& !ind it 5uite en=o&a)le to )e with a particular person, or in a particular place, while a !ew da&s later we !ind the same experience not at all pleasant. The di!!erence )etweenthese pairs o! da&s is merel& that we are in a di!!erent state o! consciousness.



We ma& )e 5uite distur)ed a)out something, then sit down and share our trou)les with a !riend,then notice that the load has )ecome inexplica)l& much lighter. The world reall& hasnt changed, )ut itlooks er& di!!erent to us. Heres an eent that )rought this message home to me in a most iid wa&.

+nce an important pro=ect ' had )een working on had !ailed a!ter man& months o! e!!ort. ' !eltmisera)le. The whole world looked )leak and colorless. "& recent !ailure seemed to )e =ust the latest

in a long and unending string o! disappointments, and the !uture looked dismal. As ' droe down thestreet, colors were dull, the air smelled )ad, and the sk& was as dark and oercast as ' !elt inside. Beingalone sounded terri)le, &et ' would neer hae wished m& agon& on an& o! m& !riends. ' was stuck. At that moment, ' was passing a motion picture theater and noticed that "he =lues =rothers wasshowing. Well, ' thought, things cant get an& worse. ' might as well =ust waste the rest o! thea!ternoon. ' parked m& car#illegall&, o! course, since nothing made an& di!!erence to me an&more#and went in. 't took a)out !ie minutes !or the moie to get me laughing, )ut soon ' was hopelessl& institches, and it lasted all the wa& through. The plot and the characters were so ludicrous, so man&hundreds o! cars were destro&ed, and the concept was so outlandish, ' laughed till it hurt. When ' le!t the moie, ' !elt wonder!ul. olors seemed )righter, and the oercast sk& made the

air com!orta)l& cool. "& recent !ailure had )ecome merci!ull& minor in the whole scheme o! things,and ' went o!! to spend a pleasant eening with a !riend. At the same time, ' couldnt help )ut )eimpressed )& the sudden shi!t in m& perspectie. ' had )een to see a nonsensical motion picture, whichis, in the !inal anal&sis, =ust a )unch o! colors on a screen and the i)rations o! some loudspeakers.How had the shi!t occurredM The moie had triggered a shi!t in m& state o! consciousness. This example clearl& illustrates how a shi!t in the state o! consciousness, in the higher leels o!our thinking, can produce changes in how we see the world. Likewise, it changes our interpretations o!eents in the world around us. +ur sel!/image changes. And we experience changes in the relationships )etween ourseles and the world around us. %uch shi!ts can trigger changes in emotions,interpretations, and )ehaiors, as well as in our a)ilit& to per!orm, either )etter or worse.

%ometimes we !eel assertie and work hard to get our wa&, while on other da&s it seems that wecouldnt care less. %ometimes we are in a er& romantic mood4 sometimes we =ust want to spend timealone. %ometimes we are eager to go out and )e ph&sicall& actie in nature4 on other occasions, it !eelsmuch more com!orta)le to retire to our inner world. +!ten we call these 7moods8 or 7 !rames o! mind.8We can also iew each as a di!!erent state o! consciousness. %ome states o! consciousness are 5uite !amiliar and common. +thers, such as somnam)ulisticstates, trance states, states o! &ogic meditation, h&sterical paral&sis, and the phenomenon o! multiple personalit&, are less common and less !amiliar. Although it ma& seem a )it extreme to lump our dail& moods together with such pro!oundl&unusual occurrences, and re!er to them all as 7states o! consciousness,8 ' hae some er& good reasons!or doing so. %o please )ear with me.

2essons from Hypnosis

A person in a h&pnotic trance ma& )e gien a suggestion, called a 7post/h&pnotic suggestion,8to )egin singing 7The %tar %pangled Banner8 wheneer the door)ell rings. The h&pnotist ma& !urthersuggest that the su)=ect )e incapa)le o! remem)ering an&thing that happened during that h&pnotictrance. Later, when the door)ell rings, that su)=ect will )egin singing as instructed. (esearchers hae shown that while a person is carr&ing out a posth&pnotic suggestion, the&reenter a h&pnotic t&pe o! trance. To an& )ut a trained o)serer, the person appears 5uite normal@except !or the !act that he is inappropriatel& singing.



lemon is a tin& shi!t in the state o! consciousness4 going into a somnam)ulistic trance or preparingonesel! in the last !ew moments o! an +l&mpic contest are much greater ones. Each o! us is !amiliar with certain states o! consciousness and not so !amiliar with others. 0orexample, &ou might )e most !amiliar with happ& or sad states o! consciousness, less !amiliar with panicor despair, and een less !amiliar with satori, a state o! consciousness achieed through man& &ears o!meditation. But the important thing to note is that each state o! consciousness leads us to perceie the

world in a certain wa&, to exhi)it certain pre!erred )ehaioral responses, and to conceptuali;e our sel!/image in a particular wa&. As &ou progress through the remaining chapters o! this )ook, &oull )ecome increasingl&!amiliar with how each o! us has our own indiiduali;ed states o! consciousness. During most o! ourlies, these are complexes o! man& emotions, moods, and )elie!s that are not easil& descri)ed. Howthese a!!ect how we see the world around us and how we perceie our place within that world are ke&aspects that we need to take into account in deep healing.

E'&E(IENTIAL !O(O)T ./:

I$A#E(+ FO( "EE& (ELA'ATION

The experience o! deep relaxation takes &ou to a state o! pro!ound tran5uilit& with a sense o!sa!et&, com!ort, and !reedom. This is not an altered state o! consciousness )ut rather a natural state thateach o! us came into li!e knowing and )eing a)le to en=o&. Although it ma& hae )een man& &earssince &ou last experienced it, entering deep relaxation simpl& re5uires !reeing &our attention !romdistractions. This deepl& relaxed state is alua)le !or three ke& reasons: C 't is the direct antidote tostress4 it is a power!ul tool !or inhi)iting unwanted )ehaiors4 and it is the !irst step in deephealing. 2eep in mind that this relaxation exercise is a cornerstone !or the deep healing process thatwell )e exploring in this )ook. All o! the other Experiential Exercises in this )ook are dependent upon&our a)ilit& to easil& enter this relaxed state. The !ollowing instructions proide &ou with a mental map o! the deep relaxation process,descri)ing each step and telling &ou exactl& what to expect. A!ter reading the description o! the process, &ou ma& !ind it 5uite eas& to deelop a recordedcassette on &our own )ased on the six steps ' hae outlined here. Alternatiel&, &ou could listen to oneo! the tapes prerecorded !or this purpose, which ' hae listed in the (esources chapter in the )ack o! the )ook. Step /: "eciding

"ake a conscious decision to enter the state o! deep relaxation )& telling &oursel! that this is themost important thing !or &ou to do at this moment and that &ou are sa!e in letting go o! an& attention&ou might otherwise )e giing to an&thing else. As &ou enter the deepl& relaxed state, &our heart will do its work unattended, and the air will )reathe &ou. 'n !act, all the organs o! &our )od& will )e working at their optimal leels as &ou deepl&relax. *ou ma& deepl& relax )& simpl& taking a deep )reath in and then letting it out, $nowing that&ou hae made this conscious decision to go ahead with this exercise. %ome people !ind it e!!ectie tothink the !ollowing words to themseles or to actuall& sa& them out loud: “I consciously choose to let everything else go at this moment in time# and I give myself permission to relax.” Step 0: A11uring +our "eeper $ind and Bod2 That It I1 Safe to (elax

*our )od& and deeper mind depend on &our thoughts and images to determine their actions. %othat the& will not interpret an& o! the normal sounds and sensations o! the external enironment as



re5uiring an immediate response, think to &oursel!, or sa& aloud, words such as: “"here(s no place I have to go right now# nothing I have to do# no problem I have to solve . . .therefore# this is a safe place and I can relax.” As &ou sa& these words, take in another deep )reath, and as &ou let it out, allow &our e&elids toclose, and think: “<elax# I am moving toward a deeper and deeper state of relaxation.”

Step 3: &h21ical (elaxation

There are man& di!!erent wa&s to induce ph&sical relaxation, and &ou ma& hae heard a)outsome o! them alread&. +ne o! these inoles s&stematicall& going through &our )od&, either !rom thetop o! &our head down to the tips o! &our toes, or in reerse order, imagining each part relaxing. *ouma& isuali;e painting it a relaxing color, !illing it with warm oil, or imagining that &our )od& is )ecoming, )it )& )it, as light as a helium/!illed )alloon. *ou ma& also imagine that with eachexhalation o! air &ou are )reathing tension out o! each part o! &our )od&4 each inhalation o! )reath is )ringing in a soothing !eeling o! peace and calm. This phase o! the exercise should take !rom one to ten minutes depending upon how tense &ouare and how !amiliar &ou are with the procedure. Step 4: $ental (elaxation

There are also a num)er o! wa&s to achiee mental relaxation. +ne o! the simplest is to imagine&oursel! !loating through time and space to a er& com!orta)le, er& sa!e enironment. 't could )e a peace!ul tropical )each, a mountaintop, a )eauti!ul garden, or a er& )eauti!ull& decorated room in asa!e, 5uiet house. This ma& )e an actual place &oue )een, a place &ou would like to go to, or acompletel& imaginar& place. %ome people simpl& imagine themseles !loating on a cloud high a)oethe earth, while others construct ela)orate structures such as castles with parapets and moats. A!ter &ou decide @or let &our deeper mind suggest to &ou the place &ou want to go to, let&oursel! )egin to isuali;e it, using all &our senses. %ee the colors, hear the sounds, !eel the sensations,the temperature. Een smell the !ragrances o! this place. The more senses &ou can emplo&, the )etter. 'magine that in this place &ou not onl& )ecome ph&sicall& more relaxed, )ut mentall& morerelaxed, entranced )& the )eaut& and peace!ulness o! this enironment. +! course, as &our mind )egins to let go o! its usual concerns, things !rom lower down on &ourmental 7to do8 list leap into consciousness and tr& to occup& &our attention. *our =o) at this moment isnot to !igure an&thing out or to make plans. Theres nothing !rom the past that &ou need to )econcerned with, and the !uture can wait. %impl& let the thoughts dri!t )& like clouds dri!ting across a )lue sk& and disappearing oer thehori;on. 'magine the thoughts !loating awa& like dead leaes on a swi!tl& moing stream. Each time athought comes along, take a deep )reath in4 then, as &ou let it out, imagine the thought !loating awa&,out o! sight. -raduall&, !ewer and !ewer thoughts come4 there are more and more spaces, or lulls, )etweenthose thoughts. 't is in these lulls that &ou will experience the deepest state o! relaxation. This phaseshould take an&where !rom two to six minutes. Step 5: (elaxation I6ager2 to "eepen and $aintain the State

*ou can now use imager& to take &ou een deeper into a relaxed and peace!ul state. *ou mightimagine walking along the shore o! a peace!ul lake. Perhaps &ou imagine a )oat rocking on the gentlewaes near a dock. '! dri!ting out onto the lake in this )oat sounds relaxing to &ou, &ou mighte!!ortlessl& imagine &oursel! !illing the )oat with pillows and !loating out on the gentle waters. '! &outhen imagine it might )e nice i! this )oat were !loating on clouds instead o! the lake, &ou can imagine it!loating upward into the clouds.



As &ou grow more and more accustomed to relaxing, &our deeper mind will o!!er more relaxingimages and ideas. The suggestions that come !rom &our deeper mind are generall& the most e!!ectie. 'tknows what it needs. *ou ma& allow &oursel! to sta& in this deepl& relaxed state !or !ie to !i!teen minutes. At theend o! this time, &ou ma& waken &oursel!, or gie &oursel! some a!!irmations !irst. Step 7: Affir6ation1

Technicall& speaking, a!!irmations are part o! the imager& process#the& are spoken imager&, =ust as what &ou are picturing within is isual imager&. 'n the present experience, &ou want &oura!!irmations to rein!orce &our a)ilit& to relax. Here are some examples o! a!!irmations &ou might use: “I am peaceful# comfortable# and deeply relaxed.” “%y body# emotions# mind# and spirit are all at peace.” “&ach time I relax# I am able to feel the temperature# even smell the fragrance of this place.”)"he more senses you can employ# the better.* “I(m allowing relaxation to heal me at every level.” “I can re2enter the state of deep relaxation any time I want to# but only when I choose to.” Step 8: Awa9ening

+wa$ening is something o! a misnomer, since &ou hae not reall& )een asleep. But it is accuratein that &ou hae, in e!!ect, )een 7asleep8 to the outside world, &our external enironment, and now that&oure relaxed, &ou are awakening )ack into &our eer&da& state o! mind. 2eep in mind that no matter how relaxed &oue )ecome, &ou will alwa&s )e a)le to snap )ackto wake!ulness instantaneousl& should &ou wish to4 !or example, i! &ou hear &our child cr&ing down thehall, &ou would respond in &our normal wa&. +n the other hand, during this period o! time, &ou hae )een er& non/responsie to ordinar& stimuli#planes !l&ing oer, the telephone ringing in anotherroom, dogs )arking, or een the teleision )laring in the liing room. %o heres how to reawaken &oursel!. 0irst o! all, it is usuall& )est to come )ack slowl& andgraduall&. B& taking the time to come all the wa& )ack to )eing !ull& awake, &ou will not )e le!t with a!eeling o! drowsiness een though &ou will still !eel 5uite relaxed. 0urthermore, &ou will )e a)le to )etter appreciate how deepl& relaxed &ou hae )een. This practice also assures that all parts o! &ou willreawaken together so &ou will not )e uncom!orta)le or drows&. -ie &oursel! a minute or so to slowl& come )ack. *ou can imagine &ou are coming )ack intothe room !rom deep down in a )asement )elow &ou4 now &ou can imagine riding up on an eleator.@ount to ten and !eel &oursel! coming up on the eleator, !loor )& !loor. *ou might also =ust graduall& )egin to )ring each part o! &our )od& into !ocus, moing it a little )it, )reathing a little more deepl&, and !inall& letting &our e&es open. As &our e&es open, =ust take a !ewmoments to en=o& what &ou see in !ront o! &ou )e!ore getting up to go a)out &our normal actiities. onclude this reawakening portion )& standing up, stretching &our arms and legs, &awning, ordoing what &ou usuall& do when &ou wake up !rom a com!orta)le sleep. A!!irm to &oursel! the !ollowing positie, health!ul 5ualities as &ou reawaken: “+s I reawa$en# I come bac$ feeling relaxed# refreshed# and alert. %y body feels invigorated#my mind is clear# and my emotions are calm.” "raining 3ourself to .ela0 at $ill

(epeated practice is needed to reall& learn this new skill. (emem)er, =ust as it takes man&repetitions to master a skill such as riding a )ic&cle !or the !irst time, learning to pla& tennis, orunderstanding a new program on &our computer, so it re5uires regular practice and repetition to masterthe art o! deep relaxation and the other deep healing skills in this )ook. Eer& time ' discuss this withnew people, ' am reminded o! the !ollowing stor&:



Practice $ill 8et 3ou $here 3ou $ant to 8o

+ tourist driving through %anhattan for the first time becomes lost while trying to get to/arnegie Hall for the rare treat of seeing one of the world(s greatest musicians perform. +s time grows shorter and shorter# he hurriedly pulls to the curb and rolls down his window to as$ a passerby fordirections.

“How do I get to /arnegie Hall!” he shouts to a man standing on the curb. “1ractice# practice5” is the New Bor$er(s laconic reply.”

' cannot oeremphasi;e the importance o! consistent practice !or achieing the deepest leels o! health and the highest leels o! per!ormance. "an& people report that a!ter their !irst Deep (elaxationand guided imager& experience, the& !eel a leel o! relaxation, com!ort, and alieness that is indeedextraordinar&. +ne would think that the& would want to make such an experience a regular part o! their li!e. But the truth is that onl& a !raction o! people do this. ' want to emphasi;e that i! &ou repeat &our relaxation and imager& experience een once a da&,within a !ew da&s or weeks &ou will )egin to notice that &ou !eel more calm, more com!orta)le, morecon!ident in general, and that when &ou actuall& choose to take a !ew moments out o! &our )us&

schedule to relax, these wonder!ul, upli!ting experiences will )ecome a regular part o! &our li!e. 'n later sections o! this )ook, &ou will notice that, as the deeper leels o! &our mind learn thesemore open and !lexi)le wa&s o! )eing, these new )ehaiors will automaticall& come !orth into eer& part o! &our li!e. *ou will notice &oursel! unconsciousl& and automaticall& achieing the goals that &oureall& want to achiee. %ta& with it 0or the !irst !ew da&s, or perhaps !or a long as a week, &ou ma& !ind that &ou haeto !orce &oursel! to practice these new skills. But within a short period o! time the& will )ecome a pleasura)le part o! &our dail& li!e that &ou will eagerl& look !orward to. As the $ew *orker sa&s, 7Practice Practice8

N With m& thanks to Angeles Arrien, !rom whom ' !irst heard this stor&. HAPTE( 0+1( T%E %I""EN &O!E(

OF E$OTIONS,

#ETTIN# IN TO)C%

!IT% T%E CO(E

ENE(#IES

OF %EALT%

“"he body>mind connection is a discovery that relates to process. Not only does the bodyreflect all the historical and present conflicts of the mind# but the reorgani-ation of one helps

reorgani-e the other... Intervention anywhere in the dynamic body>mind loo$ affects the whole.”



# "aril&n 0erguson, "he +uarian /onspiracy

%tate*%pecific #motions

Each speci!ic state o! consciousness#whether were in a good mood or a )ad mood, primed to

per!orm at high leels or procrastinate and goo! o!!, !eeling romantic and outgoing or laconic andintroerted# is generall& associated with a particular emotion or range o! emotions. '! wee =ust )eenre=ected )& the loe o! our li!e, chances are were not going to )e experiencing a romantic state o!consciousness. And i! a pro=ect in which wee inested great hopes and a huge amount o! ourresources has =ust crashed, we are pro)a)l& going to )e !eeling prett& rotten. -ien the !eelings were experiencing at those times, our state o! consciousness is pro)a)l&going to )e less than up)eat. 'n turn, that state o! consciousness is going to hae a ma=or in!luence onhow we respond to the world around us. Een i! we attempt to act up)eat and positie, other people are pro)a)l& going to pick up on the !act that were down, that we dont appear as excited as we usuall&are, or that we seem to )e o!! in our own little world. At the same time, well tend to experience theworld around us !rom that mudd&, shadow& place o! the consciousness state were experiencing at that

moment. "ost o! the time, we dont go around checking out our consciousness states. The !act is, li!e =ustseems to )e howeer were perceiing it as we go along. We dont o!ten 5uestion wh& wereexperiencing the world a certain wa& at an& gien moment. We tend to assume that what we notice inthe world is wholl& determined )& whateer is going on around us. We dont readil& see that our stateo! consciousness itsel! is a kind o! guide, directing our attention toward speci!ic kinds o! eents. 'tseen more di!!icult to see that these same states o! consciousness can hae a ma=or impact on our ph&siological processes#!or example, how we digest our !ood, the stress we put on our hearts, or thestrain we put on our musculoskeletal s&stems#causing a wide range o! dis2ease and discom!ort. '! were to e5uip ourseles to make the )est use o! deep healing, its ital that we hae anunderstanding o! these processes. 'ts important to see how our states o! consciousness impact our

health and how our emotions !unction as messengers, linking our consciousness states with our inner, ph&siological states. Haing the a)ilit& to open up and !ull& recogni;e our !eelings and how the& a!!ectour total health empowers us to hae !ar greater control o! our lies.

“8ord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change# the courage to change thethings I can# and the wisdom to $now the difference.”

#The %erenit& Pra&er

The 0erenity 1rayer addresses the challenge we all !ace dail&#the crucial choice o! when andwhen not to act. This 5uestion assumes special importance when it comes to our emotions. "o Feel or Not to Feel

As long as li!e and lim) are not in immediate danger, theres nothing wrong with letting go o!the !ear were experiencing in irtuall& an& situation. But does this mean that &ou should alwa&s )lockor num) emotions such as !ear )ecause the& are uncom!orta)leM ertainl& not. There are times when!ear is =usti!ied, appropriate, and use!ul#when it might actuall& )e dangerous to suppress it. '! &ou are



on a date with a person &ou dont know well, and &ou experience a sense o! !ear, it can )e wise to makecertain &ou sta& on &our guard, or een terminate the date. Taken a step !urther, i! &ou are )eing chased )& a mad dog, &ou o)iousl& want the )ene!its o! adrenaline that gie &ou the rush necessar& !or thatextra strength and speed &oull need to outrun the animal. There are techni5ues, which well )e exploring in later chapters, that can guide &our awarenessawa& !rom sad !eelings. A li!e o! no sadness ma& sound wonder!ul, )ut sadness is part o! dealing with

loss and a wa& to achiee empath& with others. (ather than erasing sadness !rom our lies, we needwa&s to determine when health& grieing turns unhealth&, when it has moed awa& !rom proidingcatharsis toward sel!/indulgence or depression. Likewise, &ou ma& )e a)le to guide &oursel! into a =o&!ul !rame o! mind regardless o! the sadness and trou)le in &our li!e4 )ut at what point do &ou )ecome a Poll&anna, that is, a person who is simpl& re!using to acknowledge whats happening in herli!eM Een though &ou ma& deelop pro!icienc& at accessing and expressing assertie !eelings o! angerand getting what &ou want, there are some times when the wisest counsel is serene acceptance. As we explore these 5uestions, its important to keep one )asic principle in mind: <ust )ecause&ou can control how &ou !eel and how &ou respond to the world around &ou, this doesnt mean &oualwa&s should . %ometimes unexpected and un)idden experiences, such as a chance meeting with an old!riend or een a stranger, can proe to )e some o! the most alua)le ones in our lies. Who has not hada 7hunch8 that paid o!! or an intuition that saed the da&M How do we choose )etween those !eelingsthat might proe inalua)le and those which are little more than drains on our liesM 'n short, when dowe s5uelch, and when do we allowM 'n all o! this, keep in mind that taking responsi)ilit& !or &our health starts with these inner processes. To know how our emotions impact our ph&sical and ps&chological health at these deepestleels is a power!ul asset. "oreoer, knowing how the interactions work )etween our emotions and our )odies proides us with choices that can astl& improe the 5ualit& o! our lies. #motions &s Information

“Information "hat which has the potential to change the activities of a component of the

system. "he patterns of information flow determine the orderly organi-ation among the subcomponents permitting the system to function as more than a random collection of parts.”

#Daid %o)el, ".D.

Eer& meaning!ul experience &ou hae has a certain emotion connected to it. The experienceitsel! can )e short/lied, lasting !rom a !ew seconds to an hour or so. Howeer, we !ile awa& our!eelings within our memor& )anks to call upon !or !uture re!erence. As an experience is placed into

mental storage, a mar$er to relocate it is stored along with it. This marker is a little like a !ile name on&our computer, though it is rarel& stored as a single word or categor&. -enerall&, the marker is in the!orm o! a certain memor&. 0or example, &ou might hae a categor& !or experiences where &ou wereapplauded !or something &ou did, another !or times when &ou were humiliated, and still another !ormoments o! !eeling loed. Within &our 7mental !iling ca)inet8 these markers go through an extensiecross/re!erencing process, !ar more complex than an& computer, setting up a network o! associatedexperiences. Then, wheneer deeper centers o! the mind are alerted that &ou are con!ronting an eentthat resem)les these preious ones, &our )elie!s, emotions, and )ehaiors !rom the past are reactiated.'ts almost as i! the stored memories ote on how &ou should !eel and respond. Were generall& not



conscious o! this process going on, howeer4 it =ust seems to us that we are responding directl& toeents occurring outside us. Later, in the chapter on re!erence memories, well discuss how tointentionall& create these markers. This is how &our emotional reactions are determined#not )& an immediate, one/to/onecorrespondence with whats happening outside &ou, )ut through a complex sorting process that calls up past experiences. This process links up whats happening outside &ou with the memories o! seemingl&

similar situations that &ou hae stored within &our memor& )anks. As complex and thorough as this process ma& )e, it occurs at such a deep, mostl& unconscious leel, and at such lightning/!ast speed,that most o! the time were not een aware o! it going on. 't is almost as i! our minds are like moie pro=ectors, alwa&s !lashing images on the 7screen8 o!the external world. Thus, our experiences might )e compared to an intermingling o! inner and outereents. And much o! the time, it is the past pro=ected images were responding to as much as the newimages )eing created in the external world. <ust as complex s&stems within &our )od& determine the num)er o! red )lood cells &ou willneed without consulting &our conscious mind, parts o! &our mind automaticall& undertake thisemotional sorting and determine what will come through to &our awareness. All &ou are aware o! isthat &ou like or do not like something, that &ou are attracted or not attracted. 't happens spontaneousl&.*ou dont hae to go )ack, sort through &our memor& )anks, and then consciousl& remem)er eer& past eent that was aguel& similar to the current one. 'magine how taxing that could )e#to sa&nothing o! the conse5uences#wheneer we were con!ronted with potentiall& dangerous situations. $otice that as &ou are reading these words, &ou dont hae to consciousl& decide the meaningo! each letter &our read or sound out eer& word. 'n &our childhood, when &ou were exposed to trainingexperiences, &our unconscious @deeper mind eoled highl& speciali;ed expert systems to do all thatwork !or &ou.*our expert s&stems are a little like a )atter& o! internal specialists who help &ou per!ormhighl& speciali;ed tasks. *ou dont hae to decide whether or not to !eel sad i! &our dog is killed )& a car, or happ& i!&ou win the lotter&. The reaction is automaticall& carried out )& the expert s&stems in &our deepermind. *our emotions will thus always )e an accurate reading o! what &our deeper mind )eliees isimportant a)out the current eent, so !eelings alwa&s hae some alue as in!ormation. *our !eelings arealwa&s, in this sense, 7true !eelings.8

“+ll feelings are honorable. "he problem is how we use those feelings.”

#?irginia %atir

issociation4Finding 'ur #motional lind %pots

Een though our emotions are naturall& automatic, we can suppress them. "ost o! us hae

learned to s5uelch !rom our awareness at least some o! the emotions we hae experienced and stored inour minds. This suppression ma& hae )een necessar& !or our surial at some point in our lies, !orinstance, to surie a)usie eents in childhood. +r the suppression ma& )e the result o! a consciousdecision in adulthood. We can assume that in most cases this )lunting or num)ing o! our naturalresponses was use!ul. The pro)lem is that the ha)it o! suppression tends to outlie its use!ulness.Whats important to note here is that healing and growth are )est sered )& regaining access to the !ullspectrum o! our !eelings. %uppression )lunts our awareness, isolates us !rom our past experiences, anddenies us what could )e important in!ormation !or making choices.

& isarming "ale



consciousness, we ma& neertheless hae the ague awareness that there is something there. This partial awareness o! an emotion usuall& results in some sort o! e!!ort on our part to make sense o! it.This is particularl& true o! unwanted emotions or emotions that we would rather not accept as )elonging to us. <ust as ' thought m& num) hand must )elong to someone else, it is common !or us to interpretour dissociated !eelings as )elonging to someone else. Ps&chologists call this pro,ection. The paranoid

person doesnt reali;e it is not eents in the outside world, )ut his own suppressed anger that ishounding him. The dishonest woman is alwa&s suspicious o! the intentions o! others. And the man whocannot complete the experience o! his own grie! !inds the tears o! others intolera)le. When we are disconnected !rom our emotions @or an& other part o! ourseles, this part ismissing !rom our sel!/image. And we present ourseles to others in this wa&4 theres a part missing.%omehow were not 5uite whole +!ten we take stances and champion iewpoints that would hae to )e a)andoned i! we were to )ecome more whole. The person who suppresses all !eelings o! sadnessma& aoid all contact with people who are sad, or ma& put them down as )eing 7weak8 or 7wish&/wash&.8 %imilarl&, !riends and !amil& mem)ers ma& !ind this person cold, uns&mpathetic, and an&thing )ut help!ul wheneer experiences o! loss and hurt arise in their lies. +er time, we learn how to !unction 5uite well in spite o! how much we suppress certain!eelings in our lies. We automaticall& deelop a personalit&, or wa& o! )eing, where we might een!eel proud o! our inulnera)ilit&, our iron/willed determination not to )e moed )& those eents thatseem to trou)le others. 0or example, the man who has learned to suppress all sadness ma& look uponhimsel! as 7strong,8 a)le to !ace an& emotion head on and neer )e a!!ected )& it. Theres a point whenit )ecomes a huge challenge to change, to let in the emotions wee pushed aside !or so long. To do sowould create 7cognitie dissonance,8 a !anc& term meaning that 7it =ust wouldnt seem right.8 Thelonger we hae dissociated !rom a particular emotion, or set o! emotions, the more di!!icult it can )e toreclaim all parts o! ourseles. 't must )e clearl& understood that, generall& speaking, when we are dissociating, we are notchoosing# in an& conscious sense, to )lock out our emotions. +nce we take up a certain pattern o!dissociation )egins, it easil& )ecomes unconscious and ha)itual. As we choose the path to health ' descri)e in this )ook, it is crucial to explore our learned patterns o! dissociation completel& !ree o! guilt or )lame. -uilt and )lame simpl& produce a iciouscircle, deepening the dissociation rather than li)erating us !rom it. %impl& )ecoming more aware o!&our !eelings will help encourage &ou to teach &our deeper mind new responses, ones that are morecurrentl& appropriate than the older dissociatie patterns &ou hae )een holding. +! course, some people su!!er !rom the opposite o! dissociation. The& are too aware o! their!eelings and lie on a irtual emotional roller coaster. +nce the& hae an understanding o! the meaningo! these !eelings, the use o! deep relaxation can temper the intensit&. The& can rein in the energ& o!these passions to the point that the& can )e consciousl& directed in a wise, productie, and morecreatiel& rewarding manner.

Implicit and #0plicit #motions

“0eeing is believing# but feeling(s the truth.”

't is o)ious that some people !eel things strongl&: the& cr& watching toothpaste commercials4the& laugh heartil& at een the corniest =okes4 and the& isi)l& melt when the& see an adora)le in!ant.+ther !olks seem as immoa)le and resered as the (ock o! -i)raltar. Dissociated !rom their !eelings,



the& rarel& crack a smile and neer hae tears. ommonl&, we re!er to people in the !irst group as 7emotional,8 and those in the second as7unemotional.8 0rom what we hae said, howeer, it should )e clear that the ina)ilit& to consciousl&express emotions @ps&chologists call it 7alexith&mia8, or to een !eel them, does not mean that thereare no emotions. 'n the stud& o! energ& in elementar& ph&sics, the example is o!ten used o! a rock !alling down a

hill. The !alling rock is said to possess $inetic, or explicit , energ&. '! there is another rock o! exactl& thesame si;e still at the top o! the hill, we sa& that the rock has the same amount o! energ&, )ut that itsenerg& is potential# or implicit energ&. Although this is an imper!ect metaphor, it does gie us some sense o! the two primar& !ormsour emotional energ& ma& take. When &ou are !ull& experiencing an emotion and are consciousl&aware that &ou are doing so, that emotion can )e thought o! as )eing in a kinetic or explicit state. Putanother wa&, that emotion, like the rock plummeting down the hill, is in motion. onersel&, &ou ma& hae an emotion that is highl& actie in the deeper mind, although &ou arenot consciousl& aware o! it. That emotion could )e descri)ed in terms o! )eing implicit or potentialenergy. People o!ten recall, !or instance, that, 7At the time ' didnt reali;e how angr& ' was, )ut on thewa& home ' =ust )lew up ' wanted to punch that gu& in the mouth !or what he said.8 Emotions that wehold in a dissociated state in the unconscious parts o! our minds are implicit emotions. %till, as conenient as this metaphor might )e, emotions are di!!erent !rom rocks. The potentialenerg& in a rock sitting on the top o! a hill does nothing until it )ecomes kinetic. 'mplicit emotions,howeer, are 5uite actie within us. The& are potential onl& in the sense that in order to )e aware o!them and consciousl& use them, we hae to let them )ecome kinetic to some degree. We hae to allowthem to tum)le a short wa&s down the hill. But heres an important consideration: Een when &ou are dissociated !rom an emotion and donot !eel it, it continues to operate )elow the leel o! consciousness. 't has an impact on &our li!e, o!teneen more o! an impact than it would i! &ou could !reel& !eel and express it @since it is inisi)le and outo! &our control. 't will determine what attracts &ou and what repels &ou, and it will )e a prime @al)eitunconscious !actor in &our decision/making processes4 it will a!!ect &our choice o! words, &our tone o! oice, and how others experience &ou. This is an un!ortunate state o! a!!airs. 't is ironic that weoriginall& dissociate !rom a !eeling in order to gie us a sense o! control oer a di!!icult or threateningsituation. But as the dissociation )ecomes increasingl& entrenched, =ust the opposite )egins to occur4 ine!!ect, we are out o! control since we cannot !eel and guide our emotions intentionall&. "oreoer, toaoid cognitie dissonance @7the impression that it =ust doesnt seem right8, &ou are preented !romreali;ing how out o! control &ou reall& are. This is o!ten mani!ested as needing to )e super/igilant atall times, rarel& eer letting go. Paradoxicall&, when our suppressed emotions hae deeloped into a pattern o! dissociation, weusuall& appear to others to )e a more in/control t&pe o! person. +ur li!e o!ten shows a rigid samenessand unwaering linearit& that passes !or 7sta)ilit&8 or !or )eing 7in charge8 at all times. We ma& lie,surie, and een )e externall& success!ul, )ut we relegate ourseles to an inner li!e that is an&thing )ut peace!ul or relaxed. We neither en=o& much nor su!!er much )ecause we lie in that gra& twilight thatknows neither ictor& nor de!eat. on5t )ill the Messenger+ 2istening to 3our #motions

'! &our emotional reaction to an eent is clear, sound, and appropriate @coherent, then it is wiseto pa& attention to it. 't is an opportunit& to discoer something in the enironment that &ou should )e pa&ing attention to. +nce &ou hae attended to it, it should )e sa!e and eas& to let the emotion su)side. As a simple example, imagine that a spider crawls onto &our shoulder. The emotion eoked inresponse to this ph&sical sensation demands that &ou attend to this situation. 't will trigger the sudden,nearl& re!lexie withdrawal response#a moing awa& and )rushing o!! )ehaior. $ow, with the spider



gone, &ou can relax. This is an example o! a coherent emotion and response. +n the other hand, when the !eeling state @and the associated state o! consciousness is theresult o! a series o! incoherent experiences, and inappropriate associations, it is still worthwhile to pa&attention to the emotion, to identi!& it, to ascertain that it is maladaptie, and then to let it go. An example o! an incoherent, maladaptie reaction would )e i! &ou ran screaming !rom thelittle spider, re!using to eer enter that house again.

A paral&;ing !ear o! giing a talk to a large group o! people, re5uesting a raise, or askingsomeone out on a date are also clearl& maladaptie )ehaiors linked to dissociated !eelings. %o isuncontrolla)le anger or paral&;ing grie! *ou are generall& !ull& aware that such reactions are illogicaland maladaptie. "oreoer, their continued existence )locks deep healing.

"he Freedom to Feel

“0mall is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.”

#Al)ert Einstein

'! &ou are like most people, there are some !eelings &ou easil& gie &oursel! permission toexperience and other, more uncom!orta)le ones, which &ou will attempt to aoid or )lock. Women, !orexample, tend to !ind !eelings o! anger di!!icult to handle. And no wonder Who wants to )e la)eledwith the B/wordM +n the other hand, women in our culture can o!ten permit themseles to !eel !ear andsadness, sa!e in the knowledge that this will )e seen as sensitie, caring, and demure. 'n this respect,certain emotions !it certain stereot&pes o! the culture or a certain sel!/image we would like to uphold.ertain other emotions clearl& dont !it the enelope. "en, on the contrar&, o!ten !ind it di!!icult or impossi)le to !eel or show !ear and sadness. Thesocial results o! )eing seen as a 7wimp8 or a 7wuss8 can )e deastating. Anger, on the other hand, is

seen as a positie trait o! masculinit& in our culture, so men are usuall& 5uite proud to tell &ou what politician or co/worker the& are 7ticked o!! at8 or would like to 7punch out.8 Anger makes men seemaggressie, con!ident, and dominant# though secretl& =ust the opposite might er& well )e closer tothe truth. 'n general, women in our culture are supported in )eing much more in touch with theiremphatic emotions and hae much more !reedom to let them show. +! course there are some men whoare emotionall& expressie and some women who are 5uite resered, )ut these are the exceptions morethan the rule. $ature seems to hae made !emales more !lexi)le and responsie. This is pro)a)l&related to their primar& biological role in caring !or ulnera)le, need&, in!ants. 'n !act, anatomicaleidence shows that een at )irth the central nerous s&stems o! women is actuall& structureddi!!erentl& !rom that o! men so as to !aor more exchange o! in!ormation )etween the le!t

@linearOanal&ticOtime/oriented and right @emotionalOartisticOcreatie cere)ral hemispheres o! the )rain. +ur culture has capitali;ed upon the !undamental di!!erences )etween the sexes. 0or example,we hae encouraged men to suppress their !eelings, especiall& !eelings such as compassion andulnera)ilit&. Part o! this is so the& could )e more predicta)le on the )attle!ield or tolerate long hoursdoing nois&, ph&sicall& uncom!orta)le !actor& work, or hold up under ps&chological com)at in the )ack rooms and )oardrooms o! corporate America. We dont want our soldiers !eeling compassion !or the people the& are a)out to slaughter. $or do we want our )usinessmen shedding tears in the )oardroomor shirking their corporate responsi)ilities due to some sentimental @read !eminine weakness a)outla&ing o!! C, lo&al emplo&ees



1n!ortunatel&, this )lunting o! our emotional awareness costs us dearl& on )oth indiidual andsocietal leels. The )rain usuall& dulls emotional awareness )& placing a kind o! neurologicalroad)lock across the central pathwa& that is responsi)le !or carr&ing all emotions. As a result, all!eelings are !orced to take a detour. "an& neer make it to consciousness, and those that do get throughare o!ten distorted. 'n other words, the num)ing o! one set o! !eelings will tend to )lunt all emotions,dulling &our excitement and en=o&ment o! li!e and inhi)iting &our responsieness and per!ormance.

0urthermore, this emotional suppression @denial o!ten produces a )uildup in ph&sical, mental, andemotional tension resulting in chronic !rustration, irrita)ilit&, and stress. This can, in turn, lead to otherintense, and perhaps een extreme, emotional reactions and, o! course, im)alances that can lead to awhole range o! ph&sical illnesses.

“It is so many years before one can believe enough in what one feels even to $now what the feeling is.”

#William Butler *eats

#0perience Is Not #0pression

Another un!ortunate mistake we make concerning our emotions is to con!use the emotion withits expression. Again, this is an arti!act o! how we were reared. "an& people, !or instance, aoid!eeling anger )ecause to them )ecoming angr& means &elling, )reaking dishes, or een )reaking heads.The& seem unaware that the feeling o! anger and its expression are two er& di!!erent things, andalthough the& ma& occur together, the& are not inextrica)l& =oined. As children, most o! us got er& little help in distinguishing )etween what we were !eeling and

what we were expressing. +ur parents were too concerned with how we were )ehaing. How commonit is to hear parents sa&, 7%top that cr&ing, or 'll gie &ou something to cr& a)out8 or 7Behae&oursel!8 Theres no attempt to help the children get to know and understand what the& are !eeling.The goal is simpl& to get them to stop whining, stop the 7)ad8 )ehaior, and do as the& are told. 't is er& harm!ul to tr& to manipulate the )ehaior o! children as i! the process o! 7training8them was no di!!erent !rom training dogs or horses. "ost animals dont agoni;e oer a sel!/image.The& hae onl& incidental a)ilities to re!lect, !ind meaning, or guide their lies through the use o!reason, emotion, and wisdom. When the higher leel o! human !unctioning is ignored and suppressed )& teachers, parents, and care giers, children )ecome emotionall& stunted and creatiel& crippled. Thewords, 7+h what a well/)ehaed little )o&,8 could well )e re!erring to a child whose spirit has )eencrushed and who is !unctioning at a leel o! sheer surial.

8etting to )now 3ou

To sa!el& and thoroughl& esta)lish an intimate relationship with &our emotions, &ou must useawareness, rationalit&, and discernment. *our !irst decision is how !ull& to let &oursel! !eel anemotional reaction to a person or eent. 0or the sake o! health, it is )est to train &oursel! to open to,!eel, and recogni;e all o! the emotional reactions that take place within &ou. +ccasionall&, there ariseemotions whose intensit& is so great that !eeling them is deastatingl& pain!ul, paral&;ing, or eendangerous. '! &our emotions are !re5uentl& o! this magnitude, it is )est to seek the skilled guidance o! a pro!essional#a counselor, therapist, or trusted spiritual teacher.



$ext comes the decision a)out whether or not to express that !eeling, whateer it might )e.%ometimes &our own awareness o! the !eeling is all thats important. +ne example o! this might )e i!&ou are angr& with &our )oss at work and &ou know, !or certain, that he or she will !ire &ou i! &ou tr& toexpress what &ou are !eeling. ertainl& there are times when keeping our !eelings to ourseles is the )est polic&. '! &ou decide that it is most health& !or &ou to express the !eeling, the third decision is, should it

)e directed at the person who triggered this emotion, or should &ou share &our !eelings with a close!riend or trusted counselorM How $e hoose

'n toda&s complex world, with so man& options and demands, at an& moment there can seem to )e in!inite choices. We can take a nap, clean the house, do some work that is oerdue, !inish theincome taxes, wash the car, or see a moie. How can &ou make the right choicesM All &ou hae to go onare: 6. "he image you have of yourself “+m I capable of accomplishing this!” or “Is thiscongruent with my beliefs!” 7. "he image you hold of the world around you “How will others respond!” or “What impactwill I ma$e!” 9. "he relationship you imagine exists between the two “What events will be set into motion bymy actions! Will it benefit me or other people!” As a result o! the interpla& among these three ke& !actors, each option in !ront o! us will possessits own speci!ic, emotional potential. @This will, o! course, )e di!!erent !or each o! us )ecause o! ourdi!!erent inner pictures and maps. The choice we make will then )e the ultimate result o! the meaningand alue &ou assign to each o! these actiities and the !eelings &ou hae a)out them. ' ma& 7know8 intellectuall& that tonight ' reall& need to work on m& oerdue taxes, )ut ' mightgo to the moies instead, telling m&sel! what an idiot ' am the whole time. This simpl& means that tom& deeper mind, the alues and emotional strengths o! going to the moies are greater than the alueand emotional strength o! aoiding getting into trou)le with the '(%. +nce again, our )ehaiors ma&not )e the wisest, considering the long/term conse5uences. "oreoer, the& ma& not match ourconscious desires or long/range goals. But the& always make sense to the unconscious mind, so the&alwa&s tell us something o! alue a)out ourseles. "o )now and to Not o Is to Not 3et )now

At the conscious leel, we can see that certain )ehaiors o! our mind/)od& complex aremaladaptie and d&s!unctional. %u)ordinate leels o! our s&stem, which should )e concerned withlower/leel !unctions, hae usurped the role that should )e pla&ed )& the conscious awareness. 1suall&we are onl& aware o! the results o! these unconscious decisions# !inding ourseles losing our temper,smoking, oereating, or procrastinating. >uite accuratel&, we experience our lies as )eing out o!control. The same internal mechanisms that can a!!ect )ehaiors such as eating, !ingernail )iting, and procrastination also operate to trigger internal )ehaiors. Thus, our emotional responses to eents, oura)ilit& to think e!!icientl& and )e creatie, and our ph&sical health...all o! these can also )e determined )& unconscious processes. .ational #motions

“We first ma$e our habits# then our habits ma$e us. +s the twig is bent# the tree inclines.”



#?irgil

The teleision show 7%tar Trek8 got great mileage out o! the apparent con!lict )etween

emotions and pure logic, represented )& aptain 2irk @emotion and "r. %pock @pure logic. "an& people hold the mistaken )elie! that emotions and rationalit& are somehow opposites, or, at the er&least, that decisions must )e made using one or another. People are o!ten critici;ed @and in )usinesssettings, not promoted !or )eing 7too emotional,8 which usuall& means that the& !irst consider howtheir decisions will a!!ect co/workers and onl& then ask how it will a!!ect the !ront accounting o!!ice. 'tis common to hear, 7Act rationall&. %et &our emotions aside. Put &our sentiments a)out other people ona )ack )urner.8 But how realistic is such adice in the !inal anal&sisM B& now it should )e clear that our emotions are always inoled in our important decisions and )ehaiors and are ultimatel& er& important to our health and well/)eing. The choice is not whether weshould or should not )ehae in a certain wa& )ased on our emotions4 rather, the choice is whether ornot to )e aware o! the emotions that drie our decisions and )ehaiors. +nl& then can we decide upon

the appropriateness o! responding with our present emotions !or dealing with the issue at hand, orshould we modi!& the !eeling, and thus its in!luence, on the outcomeM This is how we can make moreconscious decisions in our lies. The a)ilit& to relax and inhi)it certain emotional reactions through deep relaxation, along withthe power to eoke certain other emotions and strengthen them, can ena)le us to make eer moreconscious and rational choices. "astering these internal skills ena)les us to !eel our !eelings, learn!rom them, and continuall& modi!& them to produce health and wellness in our da&/to/da& lies. B&continuing to do these things, we train our own internal expert s&stems. -raduall& all o! the lowerleels o! s&stem @muscle tension, glandular secretion, and emotional responses are restructuredaccording to this wiser and healthier !ramework. 0rom this point &ou will )e a)le to make )etterdecisions, taking !eelings into account with less need to make a conscious e!!ort to do so.

#0periencing the %tate of eep .ela0ation

“I am going to go to my uarters# put my feet up and put on one of my personal relaxationtapes.”

# aptain <ean/Luc Picard @7%tar Trek8 character

'n m& medical practice, m& task is to help people experience deep relaxation and healing, not tomerel& understand the principles. %imilarl&, to !ull& discoer what this )ook has to o!!er, it is er&important that &ou experience this material with &our )od&, emotions, and spirit, as well as &ourintellect. ' urge &ou to pause in &our reading to aoid slipping into the illusion that an intellectualunderstanding is all that matters. Wheneer &ou can, anchor what &ou are learning intellectuall& in &our own personal experiences4 look !or memories o! past eents in &our li!e that would sup/ port orillustrate what &ou are reading. Deep relaxation is the core skill upon which this work is )ased and the !undamental process



upon which all !uture exercises in this work will )e )uilt. The instructions )elow will help &ou enter thedeepl& relaxed state.

E'&E(IENTIAL !O(O)T .0

I$A#E(+ FO( "EE& (ELA'ATION

'n upcoming chapters, well )e exploring wa&s to intensi!& experiences and emotions.

"eanwhile, the !ollowing deep relaxation imager&, excerpted !rom m& cassette Healing ourney, willguide &ou in )asic relaxation !or )oth ph&sical and emotional tension. @'! &ou wish, &ou can purchasethis tape !or &our own use. %ee the (esources section in the )ack o! this )ook.

0irst o! all, prepare &our enironment so that &ou will not )e interrupted. Hae someone readthe !ollowing exercise slowl& and peace!ull&, or read it &oursel! into a tape recorder, perhaps withrelaxing music in the )ackground. (ead slowl& and in a relaxed oice. Leae time to !ollow the arioussuggestions and !or images to !orm in &our mind. 't ma& take some practice )e!ore &ou get the pacethat works )est !or &ou. Then, as &ou listen to the tape, do &our )est to allow &oursel! to !ollow theinstructions without e!!ort. (emem)er, the state o! relaxation is a er& natural state o! consciousnessand is alwa&s present within.

With all o! this in mind, proceed with the !ollowing exercise:

=ecome aware of your location in space and time at this moment. 8oo$ around you# noting particularly the walls of the room and your proximity to them. =ecome aware that there(s no other place you have to go# nothing you have to do# and that there(s no problem you have to solve. "a$e adeep breath in...and as you let it out...repeat the word relax silently to yourself several times. Now# rather than ,ust saying the word relax, let yourself feel the different parts of your body aseach relaxes in its own way. ive yourself permission to go within for a while# to go deep within and simply be with yourself# your own thoughts# your own feelings# whatever they may be...to relax...and tolet go.

Don(t tr& to relax...,ust reali-e there(s nothing you have to do except give yourself permissionto relax...to let go. =ecome aware of the surface beneath you...and ,ust let yourself thin$ how the surface beneath you continues down...all the way down...deeper# deeper down...to the very center of the earth. 'eel how firm and solid it is# this earth beneath you...how securely it supports you...allowing your body to feelli$e part of the earth...li$e a mountain...still...utterly and totally still..and uiet. 8et yourself be aware of any clothing touching your body...your hair where it touches your s$in...and feel the gentle sensation of little bree-es that gently caress uncovered areas of your s$in. 'eeling your s$in li$e an envelope of velvet or sil$...covering your body from head to toe. 'eel the gentle support of the surface beneath your body.Pause.

+s you let yourself sin$ even deeper into the surface beneath you# effortlessly let your eyes roll gently upward behind your closed eyelids. Imagine that you can now see the word# or perhaps ,ust sense the word relax written there on the bac$ of your forehead. +nd as you see or sense the word relax, perhaps you can feel a gentle fluttering of youreyelids...a fluttering that is a sign that your eyelids are becoming more relaxed...and feel the warm#moist feeling behind your eyelids...and let the relaxation from your eyelids flow gently outward into your forehead...flowing outward li$e ripples# flowing outward from two small stones thrown in theuiet# calm surface of a crystal2clear mountain la$e...ripples flowing outward slowly from your eyelidsacross the entire surface of your body...a gentle massage of relaxation from the top of your head all the



way down to the tips of your toes. 'eel all the muscles of your face relax...feel the weight of the s$in on your face...and as the muscles around your mouth and your ,aw muscles relax# you notice your upperand lower teeth drifting slowly apart and perhaps your lips even part as the ,aw muscles relaxthoroughly and completely. 'eel those ripples of relaxation from your eyelids flowing outward into your scalp...as if youcan feel each hair on your scalp relaxing...

+nd let that relaxation flow through all the muscles of your nec$ relaxing here...through your shoulders...out through your arms...down through your elbows# your forearms# your wrists...a gentle#warm# smooth# peaceful feeling of relaxation flowing through your wrists and into your hands...anddown into each finger...all the way down to the very tips of your fingers. +nd as you feel that relaxation reach the tips of your fingers# notice how it feels...perhaps a feeling of warmth...or tingling...or gentle pulsation...a $ind of feeling that lets you $now that therelaxation has reached your fingertips. +nd as you feel that feeling of relaxation in your fingertips#ta$e a deep breath in and draw that relaxation all the way up into the center of your chest...and as youlet that breath go# feel your chest and abdomen totally relaxing...and now let the air begin to do thebreathing for you. ust as when you(re asleep at night...doing nothing...the air breathes you...Pause. +nd as you feel your abdomen calmly rising and falling with each breath# let that be a gentlemassage of relaxation to all your internal organs...and feel all your internal organs letting go. 'eel your bac$ relaxing...and let that relaxation flow all the way down to your lower bac$...to your pelvisand your buttoc$s...down through your thighs...your $nees... your legs...your an$les...and your feet...a gentle# pleasant feeling of relaxation flowing all the way down to the tips of your toes.Pause. No matter how relaxed you become# you(ll notice that you can always become more relaxed. Ina moment# I(m going to count from ten down to -ero# and as I do# allow yourself to feel relaxation going deeper and deeper. If you wish# you can imagine yourself on an elevator# a beautifully designedelevator that will ta$e you down into a place of very great relaxation. @r if you wish# you can imagine yourself wal$ing down a stairway or down a path through a beautiful garden. +s I count# with eachnumber you can feel your relaxation growing greater and greater. 8et yourself begin to go deeper#relaxed# now... 6G# ,ust a feeling of letting go... # going deeper and deeper# becoming more and more comfortable... J# imagine at this level that you allow all excess physical tension to leave... K# allowing all accumulated stress to leave at this level... L# going deeper and deeper down... M# letting all unnecessary thoughts leave at this level... :# allowing your emotions to relax thoroughly and completely. 9# now really letting yourself go deeper... 7# into a very safe# peaceful# comfortable place... 6# all the way down to the very bottom... G# completely peaceful. +nd imagine that you(re in the very beautiful place now...perhaps a tropical garden...andimagine you(re standing beneath a gentle waterfall...a crystal2clear... warm# liuid# flowing# gentle# smooth# soothing# relaxation flowing and spreading from the top of your head all the way through your body# cleansing your body of all remaining tension. +nd any time any unnecessary thoughts or uestions enter your mind# ,ust imagine thatunnecessary thought is li$e words written in the sand...and with your next breath out# as the air leaves#imagine a wave sweeping up across the sand washing those words away...smoothing the sand...andleaving little bubbles glistening and whispering in the sun.



+nd now let yourself travel to some place peaceful and ,oyful...some place in the past# the present# or the future...to an island# distant shore...or someplace near...a mountain# la$e#desert...anyplace...a private place where you can relax. +nd let yourself en,oy being in this peaceful place. Bou can stay here as long as you li$e and all the time that you are here you will be growingmore and more peaceful...your body will be letting go of any accumulated stress...and you will berelaxing to a deeper and deeper level.

Pause. +ny time you thin$ bac$ to this image you have in your mind# and give yourself permission todo so# you will feel yourself becoming more relaxed# wherever you are# whatever you are doing. +ndevery time you guide yourself into relaxation# it(ll be easier...you will go deeper...and each time youwill become more and more aware of your ability to relax yourself and eliminate unnecessary thoughtsas well as physical tension. radually now# as I count from one to five# let yourself gently become more and moreawa$e...coming bac$ slowly 6# gently floating upward... 7# as though you(ve been asleep for awhile# and fully rested...you are wa$ing up... 9# coming up feeling alert# refreshed# and comfortable... :# yet bringing with you some of the peaceful relaxation you(ve discovered within...relaxationthat you will be able to $eep with you during the day... M# coming all the way up# feeling wide awa$e# refreshed# relaxed# and clear.

HAPTE( 0'?ESELFTAL,

E$&LO+IN# T%E

&O!E(

OF FOC)SE"

AFFI($ATION

THE BE$E0'T% +0 P+%'T'?E %EL0/TAL2

“Destiny is not a matter of chance# it is a choice. It is not a thing to be waited for# it is a thing to be achieved.”

#William Br&an

“+ffirm to state positively# with conviction4 to ma$e a declaration of truthfulness4 to ma$e a

statement of the affirmative )as opposed to the negative*...”

#We)sters Enc&clopedic Dictionar&

Deep healing inoles awakening and nurturing &oursel! at &our most essential leels, that is, atthose leels we sometimes descri)e as 7unconscious,8 or 7spiritual,8 or the 7soul8 leel. Positie



o!!er. Deep relaxation also lowers the resistance o! &our mind to new material, allowing newin!ormation in and literall& reprogramming the nerous s&stem. $eedless to sa&, the e!!ect o! &our positie a!!irmations, done regularl&, can )e pro!ound. During deep relaxation, the mental state &ouenter is similar to that o! a &oung child who is so receptie to the words it hears. %ometimes people react negatiel& to the notion o! using a!!irmations. The& sa& thata!!irmations seem sill& and Poll&anna/ish. To them it seems as i! &ou are lying to &oursel! )& making

such statements that seem so opposed to 7o)=ectie realit&.8 Wh& tell &oursel! &ou are a great athlete i!&ou are a couch potatoM 'snt this )eing like the !ool who pretends he doesnt smell smoke as his house )urns to the groundM +r the 7D8 student who a!!irms that she is so smart she doesnt need to stud&M 'tsclear that positie a!!irmations onl& work when the& are supported )& the necessar& actions to makethem come true. The primar& purpose o! an a!!irmation is not to change ob,ective reality )ut to change sub,ective reality. What that means is that we are changing the inner material, our attitudes andthoughts a)out our relationship to our actiities and our wa& o! li!e. The outer material sta&s the same.Because we think in metaphors, in an& situation a wide range o! interpretations are aaila)le to us.rucial to using positie a!!irmations is distinguishing )etween immediate conse5uences and long/range pro=ections a)out what happened. 0or example, what was the outcome and what could we possi)l& learn !rom it in !uture e!!ortsM Perhaps, in certain situations, &ou ma& )e doing less well than &ou had expected or hoped. %till,it is incorrect to conclude !rom this that &ou are in!erior, weak, or helpless. A !ailure at this time doesnot necessarily mean that &ou will !ail next time, nor does it impl& that &ou should !eel )ad a)out it."ost pro!essional athletes sa& that their !ailures are o!ten their )est teachers. +nl& )& !ailing can the&know their own weaknesses and shortcomings and thus know what to correct in order to per!orm athigher leels. 't ma& well )e that &ou were )rought up in a household that su)scri)ed to the old adage: 7%parethe rod, spoil the child.8 *our ina)ilit& to lie up to !amil& expectations ma& hae )een met )& punishment, )lame, ridicule, and condemnation. As we descri)ed in hapter Three, our minds hae awa& o! calling !orth these old memories and appl&ing them to present situations. *our reaction to thecurrent situation is not a logicall& thought/out one, it is simpl& a conditioned response haing roots in&our past. 0or one reason or another, the present situation pushes your buttons #which is another wa&o! sa&ing that negatie sel!/talk !rom the past is triggering !eelings &ou had at a time in &our li!e when&ou were much more dependent on other people than &ou are toda&. "& !irst step with new patients and clients is to help them look at errors in their inner logic andopen up to new possi)ilities !or thinking and !eeling that will empower them. ' tell them to remem)erthat negatie sel!/talk usuall& )ecomes a sel!/!ul!illing prophec&4 it leads to depression, poor mental!unctioning, tiredness, and a lack o! enthusiasm. 't can also depress &our immune s&stem, causing &outo )e less resistant to in!ections such as colds, !lus, mononucleosis, and the like. Positie a!!irmations produce a sense o! stimulation, con!idence, well/)eing, enthusiasm, andcreatiit&. Thus, as long as we frame and state them in a way that does not run counter to logic andcommon sense, positie a!!irmations can help us restore a sel!/image that is positie and strong, theimage we hae o! the world, and the map we hae constructed as a wa& to understand the relationship )etween ourseles and the world. The positie a!!irmation re/creates our sel!/talk so that it !aorssuccess and healing rather than )eing tied to negatie and nonsupportie experiences o! the past.

"he "hree %tone utters

"he first of three stone cutters was as$ed what he was doing. He replied# “What does it loo$li$e I(m doing! I(m cutting stones# and I have to wor$ overtime ,ust to feed my family because the payis so low.” When the second was as$ed the same uestion# he answered# “=y cutting these stones# I(m



going to be able to earn enough to add a new room to my house.” "he third answered# “I(m cutting stones to build the most beautiful cathedral ever built5”

The !irst man worked with resentment, the second with purpose, and the third with inspiration. 'gie this example to show that een though all three men are doing the same thing#that is, cuttingstone#the& hae er& di!!erent sel!/talk a)out wh& the&re doing it and what their e!!orts are going to

produce.

“od as$s no man whether he will accept life. "hat is not the choice. @ne must ta$e it. "he onlychoice is how.”

#Henr& Beecher

6sing the .ight "ool

1se the right tool !or the =o). 1nderstand that een where the mind/)od& connection isconcerned, there are speci!ic tools !or the emotions, !or the mind, !or the )od&, and !or the soul. 'tswhen we choose the wrong tool, or one that is poorl& designed, that we get into trou)le. This needs to )e taken into account when were designing a!!irmations !or healing. 0or example, there are timeswhen dissociation @turning &our attention awa& !rom the present can )e a use!ul tool4 when &ou are inthe dentists chair, &ou can create an a!!irmation to help &ou dissociate !rom the discom!ort o! the drill.Lets sa& this a!!irmation inoles &our creating a positie mental image a)out a wonder!ul acation&oure planning. +r, when &ou hae a mountain o! work to do, it can )e use!ul to )lock out themountain so that &ou can gie all &our attention to the single pro=ect &ou are working on right now. +nthe other hand, it is pure !oll& to go into denial @tune out whats happening when &our house is on !ire4to handle such a crisis ade5uatel& &ou need &our sharpest awareness. %imilarl&, we ma& !eel like

running awa& !rom pain!ul con!rontations with loed ones, tr&ing to escape what might in=ure us. Butin most cases, this response can )e one o! our graest errors. Thus, &ou might want to create a positiea!!irmation in which &ou see the con!rontation as going er& well, with a positie outcome. This canhelp &ou not onl& get oer the impulse to slip into denial or dissociate, )ut keep &ou guided toward a positie solution when &ou get together with &our partner. The ke& !or designing positie a!!irmations is &our logical mind. 't is a !antastic tool and isindeed a terri)le thing to waste, particularl& when it comes to creating a!!irmations that can meet thechallenge o! the =o) at hand. Heres an example o! how our logical reasoning capacities can sere us, particularl& when we support these a)ilities with positie a!!irmations:

"he og, the hicken, and the orn

Bou are returning home from the mar$etplace with a dog# a chic$en# and a buc$et of corn. @nthe last leg of your ,ourney# you must cross a wide river in a small boat. "he boat is only large enough for you to ta$e one thing across at a time# either the dog# the chic$en# or the corn. /learly# you willhave to ma$e more than one trip. The pro)lem is that i! &ou leae the dog alone with the chicken, the dog will eat the chicken,and i! &ou leae the chicken alone with the corn, the chicken will eat the corn. 1sing onl& what has )een gien &ou here, can &ou !igure out how to get all &our purchases to the other side o! the rier so&ou can continue homeM +nswer 'irst ta$e the chic$en across. 8eave the chic$en there and come bac$ to get the corn.



"a$e the corn across# leave the corn# and return with the chic$en. 8eave the chic$en on the other sidewhere you began and ta$e the dog across. 8eave the dog and the corn together# return# then ta$e thechic$en bac$ across for your final crossing.

This pu;;le illustrates how )& using a well/thought/out, logical approach we can !ind solutionsto seemingl& insolu)le pro)lems. 'n our dail& lies, our a)ilit& to think logicall& ma& determine

whether or not a relationship succeeds, as well as whether or not we heal ourseles. Histor& shows usthat it has o!ten )een the mind, not the lack o! other tools or weapons, that determined who won or lostthe greatest )attles and whose societ& was the most success!ul. +!ten the in!ormation and pro)lem/soling st&le we learned in our d&s!unctional !amilies orinade5uate schools does not proide us with su!!icient appreciation !or the innate a)ilities we possessto heal ourseles or create a wa& o! li!e that we !ind com!orta)le, satis!&ing, and health&. 0urthermore,i! we hae )een taught to )e closed to new in!ormation and to go on the de!ensie an& time it issuggested that we explore new alternaties, we will surel& end up liing unnecessaril& limited lies.

How to onstruct Powerful &ffirmations

“No values are effective in a person or a society except as there exists in the person the prior capacity to do the valuing# that is# the capacity actively to choose and affirm the values by which he

lives.”

# (ollo "a&

As simple as the concept o! a!!irmations ma& )e, creating reall& e!!ectie ones re5uires someskill. 'mproperl& constructed a!!irmations hae little or no e!!ect on the unconscious mind and can een )e harm!ul. onsider the student who, )e!ore a tough examination, keeps 7a!!irming8 to hersel!, 7' amnot going to !lunk this test. 'm not going to )e the laughingstock o! the class again. 'm not going to )ekicked out o! this class and lose m& scholarship.8 While her conscious goal ma& )e to aoid !ailure andthe resultant pain, her statements are !illed with negatie rather than positie statements. 'n a peculiarwa&, the unconscious mind picks up on the !ear )ehind these statements and is drawn to !ailure ratherthan success %top reading and tr& not to think a)out an alligator. Tr& reall& hard not to think a)out thatalligator. Dont think a)out a small )a)& alligator or a huge adult. Dont think o! an alligator with hismouth wide open or one !loating in the water with his mouth closed. Tr& to stop thinking a)out that

alligator now. $otice how di!!icult this is to do. The instant &ou reali;e that &ou hae momentaril& succeededin not thinking o! the alligator, &ou discoer that &ou hae to )e thinking o! it in order to have thisreali;ation, and so the alligator is )ack again in all its glor&. %imilarl&, when &ou think thoughts and images o! 7not !ailing,8 the image o! !ailing is moredeepl& imprinted in &our mind. 't then !orms the model that the deeper mind will tend towards. *ourdeeper mind assumes that i! &ou are holding some image in mind, that must )e what &our current goalis That )eing esta)lished, our internal expert s&stems set a)out producing automatic )ehaiors so as toensure the outcome &ou are inadertentl& isuali;ing. <ust as isuali;ing a delicious dessert eokes the



congruent )ehaior o! saliation, isuali;ing !ailure @een the aoidance o! !ailure eokes sel!/de!eating )ehaiors. The a!!irmation o! our &oung test/taker a)oe has a hidden message# that o! a ictim. %he ma& )e wanting to get out o! that role and on to a more positie track, )ut the !act is that her 7a!!irmation8 ismainl& a!!irming the er& role she is tr&ing to escape. As much as we might !ind it conenient# orsimpl& 7automatic8#to wallow around in negatiit&, pessimism, and sel!/pit&, this is =ust another wa&

to conince &our deeper mind that &ou are a victim. This little exercise leads us to the rules !or creating power!ul a!!irmations:/; Choo1e a 8oal for +our Affir6ation1

'deall&, it should )e something that &ou deepl& desire, a state o! )eing or a )ehaior that &ouwish to en=o& on a regular )asis, inoling &our mind, )od&, or emotions. '! there is a negatie )ehaior &ou want to get rid o!, &ou must !ind a positie )ehaior with which to replace it. 0or instance, a )ehaior to replace smoking could )e a!!irmed )&: I en,oy breathing fresh# clean air all day. When I am feeling tense# I relax by ta$ing a wal$around the bloc$. “I $nit to $eep my hands busy and relieve tension.” 0; eep +our Affir6ation1 Co6pletel2 Positive

Aoid the use o! words such as: no and not , and contractions such as don(t# shouldn(t# andwasn(t. The deeper mind does not per!orm simple negation er& well. As &ou will learn later, this is )ecause the mind does most o! its work through the use o! images. Because an alligator is a er& clearimage, the mind gra)s onto it. The word not# on the other hand, doesnt !orm a er& good image in themind4 it slips through. %imilarl&, telling &oursel! to not )ecome the laughingstock o! the class o!ten )ack!ires )ecause the image o! people laughing at &our inade5uacies is such a power!ul one. Whatmight our test/taker hae said insteadM Heres an example: “I am fully prepared for the examination. I feel calm# relaxed# and confident in my ability to perform. "he answers to all the test uestions are available in my mind# and I can produce them at amoment(s notice.” 3; $a9e +our Affir6ation1 &er1onal

The two statements, 7This test is an eas& test,8 and 7"& teacher is going to understand m&answer,8 are poor a!!irmations4 the& !ail to ground the statement in ones sel!. Talking a)out onesel! inthe third person is an excellent wa& to dissociate, howeer. 'ts so much more e!!ectie to sa&: “I am a s$illful test ta$er. I have the ability to understand and communicate each problem sothat my instructor will understand.” These more personal expressions motiate the deeper mind. %ometimes people use thetechni5ue o! repeating sel!/a!!irmations in the !irst, second and third person: “I am calm and confident.” “Bou )spea$ing to self* are calm and confident.” “erry )which is your name in this example* is calm and confident.” 4; )1e &owerful &ffirmation !ord1 and *ivid- Enriching Ad<ective1

7' !eel relaxed,8 and 7' know the answers8 are rather insipid and not highl& motiating. $owtake a look at these: “I feel a deep# rich# soothing feeling of peace.” “%y mind is crystal2clear and alert# and the answers I need are available for instant recall.” 5; State +our Affir6ation1 in the &re1ent Ten1e

"an& people go through li!e with a 7someda&8 attitude. %omeda& the&re going to settle down,



#0amples of $ell*onstructed &ffirmations

Performance+ Within me is the capacity to be a success# and I choose to be a success today.” %elf are+ “%y body is valuable# and I ta$e good care of it.” %elf*#steem+ “I am a good person# and by opening myself to people# I allow them to see my goodness.”

Pre*%urgical+ “I have chosen an excellent surgeon for this operation. Now my body will relaxand cooperate fully.” Healing+ “%y immune system is cleansing my body of all foreign materials and cells that donot belong there.” “"hrough relaxation I am lowering my blood pressure.” “&very day# in every way# I(m getting better and better.” .ela0ation+ “I am in charge of my life# and I stay cool# calm# and confident at all times.” ehavior hange+” "oday I choose to be a nondrin$er )nonsmo$er# sober eater# etc.*.” %piritual+ “+t all times I am aware of my relationship with od.” &ssertiveness+ “I have the right to spea$ my mind# and I choose to assert myself clearly.” .elationship+ “I choose to be relaxed# receptive# and loving with my family.”


!(ITIN# +O)( O!N AFFI($ATIONS

When constructing &our a!!irmations, especiall& the !irst !ew times, it ma& )e worthwhile to sitdown with pen and paper to create a set o! !ie or six high/5ualit& a!!irmations. (eiew the material inthis chapter to help &ou with this. A!ter &ou get the knack, &ou ma& )e a)le to simpl& compose them in&our head. +ne o! the great adantages to writing out &our a!!irmations, howeer, is that &ou are less likel&to !orget them that wa&. Haing them on a page in &our appointment )ook or on &our computer so that&ou can recall them each da& is a er& good idea. ' hae !ound this is, !or man& people, one o! the mostimportant parts o! their =ournaling. '! &ou !ind =ournaling to )e an e!!ectie practice, )& all meansrecord &our a!!irmations there. %ome people !ind it alua)le to write out each a!!irmation on a di!!erent x J card, or on an K/CO x CC sheet o! paper. @Do it up !anc& on &our computer i! &ou like. These reminders can now )e posted where the& will do the most good#on &our )athroom mirror, on the !ront door, on thedash)oard o! &our car, on &our desk at work, on the re!rigerator4 7' !eel completel& satis!ied and !ullwhen ' eat =ust three small meals a da&.8 *ou ma& !ind that &ou will a)sor) the material )etter i! &ou write out each a!!irmation C or times, and perhaps repeat this practice each da&. @Those o! us who were !orced to write repeatedl&, 7'will not talk in class8#&es, ' con!ess, ' was one o! them# ma& hae to get oer an initial repulsion tothis idea. As teachers know, the more wa&s a person interacts with a su)=ect to )e learned, the more5uickl& and thoroughl& it will )e assimilated. A!!irmations allow &ou to see it, hear it, rehearse it, andwrite it. ;oing< 3our &ffirmations

+nce &ou hae constructed the a!!irmations &ou want to use, the next =o) is to reiew themrepeatedl&. -enerall& this is done )& setting aside one or more sessions a da&. "orning and eening isexcellent4 three times a da& is een )etter. Each session ma& range !rom two to !ie minutes. Duringthis time, &ou repeat each o! the a!!irmations seeral times to &oursel!. %a& them slowl&, withconiction and passion. Leae !ie or ten seconds o! silence a!ter each a!!irmation to let its meaningsink in. 'ts )est to do &our a!!irmations in a 5uiet place awa& !rom all distractions. %ome people like to



sit !acing a )eauti!ul iew, a garden, or a !lowering plant. +thers !eel it is )est to simpl& sit looking at a )lank wall to help keep the !ocus where it should )e#within. %it com!orta)l& and enter a receptie state o! mind. The relaxation exercise at the end o! the preious chapter proides excellent training !or eoking that state. Take a deep )reath in, and as &ou let the )reath out, !eel a wae o! relaxation go through &our )od&. Let go o! all unnecessar& ph&sical, mental, and emotional tensions.

%ometimes &ou ma& want to sa& the a!!irmations out loud4 sometimes simpl& mouth them as&ou repeat them mentall&4 other times =ust state them mentall&. '! &ou like, &ou can sing them to&oursel!. As &ou listen to &oursel!, )e completel& receptie to the idea, and receie it as i! it is totall&true at the moment &ou are sa&ing it#and, indeed, it is Throughout &our da&, !rom time to time, &ou ma& simpl& repeat one or two o! &our a!!irmationsto &oursel!, such as when &oure waiting !or the cop& machine to warm up at the o!!ice, on &our wa& tothe laator&, or eer& time the phone rings, )e!ore &ou answer it. A!ter a while, &ou ma& notice thatthere is an inner oice that )egins to repeat these a!!irmations to &ou without &our haing initiatedthem. This is a er& good sign that the deeper mind is accepting this realit&. @$ot eer&one who usesa!!irmations e!!ectiel& experiences this automatic oice, howeer. %o i! &ou dont hear it, dont )econcerned. How 2ong to ontinue &ffirmations

How long &ou continue &our a!!irmations is a matter o! personal choice and how e!!ectie &oure!!orts hae )een. Basicall&, its )est to continue them until the desired )ehaior has replaced the oldha)it or wa& o! thinking. 'n practice, people tend to alter their a!!irmations eer& week or so as the& )ecome aware o! a clearer, more highl& motiating wa& to phrase them, and as the !ocus o! &ourdesired change eoles. The idea is to pla& with &our a!!irmation statements. Work with di!!erent wa&so! stating them until &ou !ind the words, images, impressions, or !eelings that reall& energi;e andmotiate &ou. Another wa& to keep the desired message repeating in &our mind is to read &our a!!irmationsinto a tape recorder with silence, nature sounds, or een music in the )ackground. This tape can now )e pla&ed while &ou drie to work. *ou can een pla& it as &ou go to sleep at night or while &ou aregetting up in the morning. +ne interesting ariation on this is to )u& a continuous loop tape that repeatseer& three minutes. A!ter &oue listened to a tape !or a while, &our attention will tend to wander, )ut the messagema& still )e getting through su)liminall&. Do not, howeer, !all into the ha)it o! =ust putting in the tapeand then getting )us& with something else. *our conscious intention and !ocus is important. And i! &oudo !ind that &ou are totall& tuning out the tape when its pla&ing, perhaps its time to record a new onewith new imager&, new statements, and new )ackground sounds that hold &our attention. Pla&ing it at alow olume can drown out mind chatter. Leae pauses on the tape a!ter each a!!irmation so that &ou can repeat @echo the statement to&oursel! in &our mind. ' hae listed seeral audiocassettes )elow. *ou ma& !ind that the& work er&well !or &ou and that &ou dont need to record one o! &our own, or &ou might use them as models !or&our own recording. *ou will !ind that the topics the& address are ones most people !ind use!ul in theirlies. 8aunching Bour Day# )& Emmett "iller, ".D. @%ource assettes, presents a series o!a!!irmations designed to address the state o! inner awareness and relaxation present when &ou !irstwake up. 't gentl& guides &ou into wake!ulness and actiit&. The a!!irmations !inall& culminate in power!ul suggestions o! con!idence and success in &our dail& actiit&. "he 0erenity 1rayer# )& Emmett "iller, ".D. @%ource assettes, presents a num)er o! insights,as well as man& a!!irmations, to help &ou !ull& understand and em)od& the principles o! the %erenit&Pra&er. This tape can )e used !or !reeing &oursel! o! unwanted ha)its, esta)lishing new )ehaioral



patterns, and increasing &our appreciation o! &our own accomplishments. Inner /hild Healing# )& Emmett "iller, ".D. @%ource assettes. This is an excellent exampleo! the most )asic a!!irmations !or )uilding sel!/esteem and healing !rom a)use. %elf*/uestions to Identify &reas to &ffirm

The !ollowing 5uestions were designed to help &ou identi!& areas o! &our li!e where &ou might

want to )egin using a!!irmations. These ma& help &ou pinpoint the speci!ic areas that &ou want tochange and improe in &our li!e. At the same time, the more accuratel& &ou can identi!& these areas,the easier it ma& )e to design a!!irmations that will work !or &ou. /; What are &our most common sel!/limiting statementsM 0or example, when &ou encounter achallenge, do &ou tell &oursel! that &ou couldnt possi)l& meet itM 0; What positie 5ualities would &ou like most to a!!irm in &oursel!M 0or example, think )ack tothe most positie experiences o! &our li!e, when &ou accomplished something that made &ou !eel er& proud. What personal 5ualities came !orth at that timeM 0ocus attention on those. 3; When hae &our negatie sel!/statements produced !ailure, d&s!unction, or illnessM 0orexample, tr& to remem)er a time when &ou approached a =o) interiew or a meeting with a new personin a pessimistic wa&, telling &oursel! &ou wouldnt )e liked#and sure enough, &ou werent 4. When hae positie sel!/a!!irmations helped &ou succeed or healM 0or example, ma&)e &ouhae had the experience o! )eing on an athletic team where a coach or cheerleader led a mentalisuali;ation !or the team to work together to win#and the& did A!ter answering the a)oe !our 5uestions, &ou might wish to make a list o! all the negatie sel!/statements &ou regularl& make to &oursel!. 0or example, &ou might !ind &our negatie sel!/statementshae to do with people not liking &ou. List these statements in a column on the le!t side o! a page,skipping a !ew lines a!ter each one. Then, !or each o! these sel!/negations, construct three well/!ormed positive a!!irmations that counteract and annihilate it. Write these on the right side o! the page oppositethe negatie statement. Learn this sheet well, then eer& time &ou catch &oursel! making the negatie statement, stopBe!ore &ou do another thing, repeat the three a!!irmations one or more times each. &mplifying 3our &ffirmations

Earlier in this chapter, ' )rie!l& discussed how the deep relaxation process can )e used toampli!& the power o! &our a!!irmations. 'n this deepl& relaxed state, our minds )ecome more open andreceptie to the a!!irmations we hae deeloped. +ne o! the most e!!ectie methods 'e !ound is the autogenic method. Autogenic literall&means 7created )& the sel!,8 the implication )eing that it is an inner process, a state o! )eing and )ehaing that is sel!/induced. Deeloped )& Wol!gang Luthe @ +utogenic "raining# pu)lished )& -runeand %tratton, CIJ, it has, !or decades, )een used to produce pro!ound healing changes and high leelso! per!ormance. 'n an interesting side stor&, a group o! mountain clim)ers was trapped )& a )li;;ard.Hal! o! them had learned to dilate their )lood essels as part o! the standard auto/genic training. B&using this knowledge, this hal! o! the group was a)le to escape their ordeal without !rost)ite, whereasthose who did not know it su!!ered seere !rost)ite o! their !ingers and toes. Essentiall&, this techni5ue consists o! a num)er o! statements which are, in the !inal anal&sis,simple a!!irmations o! those ph&sical and ph&siological 5ualities we associate with deep relaxation. The process is simple enough. 't consists o! a num)er o! statements designed to induce the relaxationresponse. The !irst o! these is simpl& this: %y hands are heavy and warm. This was originall& the onl& statement taught during the !irst training session, and it was to )erepeated do;ens o! times, each repetition !ollowed )& ten seconds o! silence. This was practiced athome !or a week, then the second statement was taught in the same wa&. -raduall&, additional



statements were introduced, and oer a period o! months, pro!ound changes took place. As with alla!!irmations, no particular attempt is made to cause the desired change to take place#the statement issimpl& held in the mind as it is spoken, then released. 0or our purposes here, simpl& repeat each statement !rom three to eight times, leaing a !ie/ toten/second gap )etween each statement. “%y arms and hands are heavy and warm.”

“%y legs and feet are heavy and warm.” “%y ,aw is heavy and relaxed.” “%y abdomen is soft.” “It breathes me.” “%y forehead is cool and calm.” “I am relaxed from head to toe.” A!ter &ou hae used these autogenic a!!irmations to relax &oursel!, &ou are in a highl& receptiestate o! mind to read, speak, or listen to &our a!!irmations. '! &ou hae them recorded, switch on thecassette pla&er at this time and pla& them as &ou are relaxing. '! &ou hae memori;ed them, simpl&hold the a!!irmations in &our mind.

HAPTE( %'3T(ANSFO($IN#

LEA(NE"

%EL&LESSNESS

“"he fault# dear =rutus# is not in our stars# but in ourselves...”


onscious and 6nconscious ecisions

There are two )asic wa&s we process in!ormation in our minds: consciousl& and unconsciousl&."uch o! the time, the line )etween the two can seem extremel& thin. 'n !act, conscious andunconscious thoughts are constantl& intermingling, and this intermingling )ecomes criticall& importantin mind/)od& medicine. 0or example, we can consciously want to succeed in a new )usiness enture,&et our success ma& )e sa)otaged )& a small oice within us, much like a 7irus8 or 7)ug8 in acomputer program that is short/circuiting our e!!orts )& telling us to !ail. This message to !ail isunconscious# meaning that we are not aware o! its presence or the role it is pla&ing in !rustrating oure!!orts to achiee. To make certain our unconscious in!ormation isnt negating our conscious choices to

succeed, we need to know a little a)out how each o! these work within the mind/)od&. To get a !eel !or the di!!erence )etween conscious and unconscious in!ormation, think a)outwhat happens on a summer da& as the temperature graduall& increases. %oon &our )od&, as a result o! perspiring, )ecomes slightl& deh&drated. The unconscious part o! &our mind detects this in!ormation )&measuring certain changes within the )loodstream. When it detects these changes, it sends a signal tothe cere)ral cortex. When this signal arries, the cortex interprets it @an unconscious actiit& andtriggers a series o! ph&siological eents that we experience as thirst. 't is onl& at that point that &ou )ecome aware o! )eing deh&drated and can take action at a conscious leel. Wanting to get relie! !romthe s&mptoms o! deh&dration @dr& mouth, !or example, &ou go in search o! water. -etting a glass,



drawing that water !rom a !aucet, and drinking are all conscious processes. +! course, walking to the kitchen re5uires a complicated set o! coordinated ph&sical maneuers,most o! which are carried out )& processing and acting upon unconscious in!ormation, that is,in!ormation that we hae collected and stored in our minds when we learned to walk as children. While our deli)erate intention to go to the kitchen ma& )e )ased on conscious in!ormation,wed neer get there without the unconscious in!ormation that tells us how to walk.

All da& long, throughout all our waking hours, there is a stead& stream o! thoughts goingthrough our minds, a !low o! )oth conscious and unconscious in!ormation. To some degree, we canchoose how to guide this in!ormation. 0or instance, read and carr& out the !ollowing, one at a time: => =ring to mind the names of three different $inds of fruit. ?> How many of these are citrus fruits! @> %entally picture an airplane.. A> +s$ yourself if you noticed anything strange about the last sentence. If not# loo$ at the period at the end of that sentence. B> %entally count to three before reading further. As &ou carr& out each o! these actiities, &ou are guiding &our nerous s&stem )& using &ourconscious mind. $ow, at this moment, &ou could consciousl& decide to go )ack and repeat thoseactiities so that &ou might )etter understand them, or &ou ma& choose to keep reading. "ake thatchoice now. 'n cases such as these, we hae maximum control o! the conscious in!ormation )eing presentedto us, which thoughts we hold on to, and what actions we take. But lets consider some situations wherewe do not hae conscious control. Here are some examples: 0itting around worrying about something over which you have no control4

8ighting up a cigarette in spite of the fact that you have made a solemn promise to yourself to stop smo$ing4 and

'inding yourself continually distracted while trying to focus on an important issue. These are situations where we consciousl& understand the issues and actions descri)ed )utcannot control certain unconscious in!ormation that is a!!ecting us. 0or example, we consciousl& graspthe idea that there is nothing to gain )& worr&ing a)out something oer which we hae no control. Butour unconscious mind is telling us that we must keep our attention !ocused on tr&ing to !igure outsomething we can do to regain control. +r, we hae made a conscious decision to stop smoking, )utour unconscious mind cries out !or the taste and the )iochemical e!!ects o! smoking a cigarette. +r,een though we consciousl& understand how important it is to !ocus our attention on driing our car,our unconscious mind keeps pulling our attention awa&, plunging us into the grie! we are !eeling a)outthe loss o! a close !riend. We can hae direct control oer onl& the string o! thoughts, images, and ideas that !low throughour conscious minds. Are &ou going to eat at a hinese restaurant, or call &our )oss and con!ront herconcerning a recent memoM 't is onl& through &our capacit& to choose @selectie awareness to act uponthis in!ormation that &ou can in!luence &our )ehaior. To the degree that &ou are unconsciousl&in!luenced to )ehae in a certain !ashion, such as eating at an expensie restaurant )ecause &ou !eel itis important to exhi)it &our wealth, or con!ronting the )oss )ecause &ou !eel a man must neer let awoman hae the upper hand, the decision is )eing made )& &our unconscious mind. To the degree that&ou take &our true !eelings, priorities, and goals into account, &ou are deciding consciousl&. ' use theword choose onl& !or decisions that are )eing made with the conscious mind. This thought stream is also &our onl& means o! intentionall& in!luencing &our !eelings, )elie!s,and inner images. 7'! &ou alwa&s do what &oue alwa&s done,8 as the old adage goes, 7&oull alwa&sget what &oue alwa&s gotten.8 +r, as the hinese sage tells us: 71nless we change our direction,well end up where were headed.8 The )ehaior that is elicited !rom our deeper mind is the result o! the unconscious in!ormation



we hold, and o! the !ormulas it applies in making the thousands o! decisions it makes eer& da&. 0orexample: “"he body is tense and stressed. "ime to have good stiff drin$.” “"he music is good# and there are lots of good2loo$ing guys here. =ut I(m not very pretty# so probably no one will as$ me to dance. 0o# although the dance has ,ust begun# I(ll start in feeling lonelyand frustrated again.”

“I should reprimand my child# but if I do he may not love me anymore. =ut if I sit idly by and permit this behavior I am a bad parent.( "he best thing to do is develop a blinding headache )ordiarrhea# or cancer# or hives*. "hen no one can expect me to perform# especially not myself.” “If I do a good ,ob delivering my speech# and if the audience is really interested# they willapplaud me. =ut if I ma$e a mista$e# they will thin$ I(m a =o-o and laugh at me. 0o the thing to do is toactivate the sympathetic nervous system# go into a fight2or2flight mode# and panic.” 1nconscious and ha)itual patterns such as these must )e altered in order to progress along the path o! deep healing. Please remem)er, these are not conscious choices, )ut unconscious decisions. $oone would consciously choose such responses. Taking responsi)ilit& !or the !act that it is &ourunconscious mind that is making the decision is a alua)le step in the healing process. But remem)er: '! &our unconscious !eelings are working in this wa&, dont )e hard on &oursel!a)out it. A)oe all, such !eelings are nothing to !eel ashamed or guilt& a)out. To get caught up in guiltor shame would )e to set in motion another unconsciousl& mediated reaction, a icious circle thatwould de!eat &our new purpose o! unleashing &oursel! !rom these )elie!s or streams o! thought. These patterns were programmed in )e!ore &ou had an& choice in the matter. 'ts part o! )eing human. B&seeing this clearl& and dispassionatel&, without guilt or shame, we open the doors to change. The use o! deep relaxation and a!!irmation can inhi)it such )ehaiors and allow &ou to look at &our li!e withintelligence and wisdom. hoosing with %pirit

“+ person will become what he thin$s about all day long.”

#Earl $ightingale

"ost o! us go a)out our da& processing mental in!ormation in er& stereot&ped wa&s. Although&ou make man& choices during the da&, there is usuall& a sameness a)out the choices &ou make. “Don(t trust women# they(re fic$le.” “Don(t ma$e waves. =etter safe than sorry.” “Why try again and ma$e a fool out of yourself!” “It(s better to not feel your feelings4 it(s not the macho thing to do.” “No matter what you thin$ or feel# the most important thing is to live up to the expectations of

others.” Here, the rules we !ollow in making choices are those that hae )een prerecorded in ourunconscious. But )ecause &ou hae the a)ilit& to decide how &ou will choose &our own thoughts, &oucan make pro!ound changes in &our li!e and health. When &ou )egin to intentionall& alter the !ormula@the algorithms or )elie!s that &ou use to select, order, and interpret the thoughts that pass through &ourmind, &our li!e guidance )egins to come !rom the philosophical or spiritual leel. As a result, thechoices that &ou make )ecome een increasingl& conscious. How do you characteristicall& see the world#as a lush meadow or a mine !ieldM Do &ou seestepping stones or stum)ling )locksM 's the glass hal!/empt& or hal!/!ullM Are &ou capa)le o! healing



!rom a current disease or notM Do &ou consciousl& choose the !low pattern o! &our thoughts, images,!eelings, and )ehaiors so that the& hae the desired impact on &our li!e, or are &ou simpl& a helplessictimM Half*#mpty, Half*Full

What, actuall&, is the di!!erence )etween a glass that is hal!/empt& and one that is hal!/!ullM The

di!!erence is not 7out there84 it is within us. 't is in the wa& we construct our image o! whats out thereand our relationship to it. Although this concept ma& seem incredi)l& simple, it is neertheless a crucialone. +ur interpretation o! our relationship with our enironment impacts us on man& leels. At the 1niersit& o! hicago, researchers studied nurses, air tra!!ic controllers, and people inother pro!essions who experience great amounts o! pressure in their =o)s. 't turned out that one group o! these people su!!ered and reported !re5uent stress/related illness. The other group seemed to do =ust!ine, and some actuall& thrived on the excitement. (esearchers discoered that the primar& di!!erence )etween the two groups was their outlook on li!e and the perspectie !rom which the& iewedthemseles and their enironment. +n the tests the& were gien, the health& @or, as the researchers called them, the 7hard&8 onesscored much higher in their commitment to their =o)s. The& also tended to look at the rigors o! the =o)as challenges rather than as obstacles. A third wa& the hard& workers di!!ered was that the& had a !eeling o! control in their work.The& !elt as i! what the& did made a di!!erence. This and numerous other studies proide conincing scienti!ic support !or the notion that7seeing the glass as hal!/!ull8 can actuall& keep &ou more health& in the !ace o! stress. 'n other words,the attitudes and )elie!s stored in &our deeper mind can help protect &ou !rom such ailments as ulcers,migraine headaches, and high )lood pressure, as well as emotional and addictie pro)lems. Deceptiel&simple and su)tle, the 7hal!/!ull8 principle is enormousl& power!ul. 't has long )een clear to political leaders, militar& commanders, athletic coaches, schoolteachers, and parents that a !eeling o! helplessness or empowerment is o!ten the deciding !actor )etween stunning success and dismal !ailure. As we hae discussed, )elie! in &our helplessness canalso impair healing, while !eelings o! empowerment o!ten improe the healing response. 0inall&,science has )egun to address these issues. "an& o! the studies appear in the scienti!ic literature underthe name inented )& pioneer researcher "artin %eligman, 7Learned Helplessness.8

“Whether you thin$ you can or you thin$ you can(t?you are right.”

# Henr& 0ord

These insights proide nourishing !ood !or thought. When three groups o! rats, !or instance, are

gien a series o! inescapa)le electric shocks, escapa)le shocks, or no shocks at all, onl& those ratssu)=ected to inescapa)le shocks demonstrated suppressed l&mphoc&te @a t&pe o! cell in the immunes&stem growth in response to a chemical challenge. 'n other words, their power to !ight in!ection waslessened. (ats gien exactl& the same num)er o! shocks, !or exactl& the same durations, )ut underconditions in which the& thought the& could escape, su!!ered no immunological conse5uences. When we unconsciousl& portra& ourseles as ictims, the resulting sense o! helplessness istransmitted through the entire s&stem. The ph&sical conse5uence o! this can )e !ailure or )reakdown inan organ or organ s&stem.

Helpless &stronauts



might )e a )irds tree, the hunting ground o! a lion, or the harem o! a walrus. 't has long )een o)sered that, all other things )eing e5ual, when two animals o! e5ual si;e andstrength )attle oer a territor&, the original owner generall& wins. Een i! an attacking animal has genesthat make it a little )it stronger, nature gies the !amil& a special adantage. %omehow signals are gieno!! that produce a sense o! helplessness in the interloper and a sense o! empowerment in the animalwho presentl& holds the territor&. We can think o! the !ormer as a kind o! 7genetic learned

helplessness.8 +nce an animal has created a home or a nest and has )egun to hae )a)ies, thiscommitment is alued )& "other $ature, and she rewards him with empowerment. The same thinghappens in human competition, too. Athletic teams nearl& alwa&s win more games at home than on theroad. We call it 7home !ield adantage.8 When we !eel territorial ownership, the corresponding mental image is associated with a certain pattern o! cortical neuropeptides. These, in turn, cause corresponding shi!ts in other )odil& chemicalsthat produce the sense o! empowerment. Testosterone is one o! the chemicals inoled in this process. 'n woles and other pack animals,!or instance, we !ind that the dominant alpha male has a higher leel o! testosterone than less dominantmem)ers o! his pack. When he is !inall& toppled, his testosterone goes down, and the ictorstestosterone goes up. %imilar results hae )een !ound in studies o! human populations. "en who are promoted in corporations deelop dominant testosterone leels4 those who are demoted show a drop.onersel&, i! males are gien in=ections o! testosterone, the& ma& )ecome more aggressie anddominant. How purel& this is a )rain response to the chemicals is shown )& the !act that !emales, too,show these same changes when in=ected with testosterone. %o, =ust as the )elie! that we are powerless chemicall& impairs our a)ilit& to de!end or adanceourseles, the )elie! that we are powerful enhances those a)ilities. This )asic 7territorial instinct8 proides us with an innate propensit& to de!end what we consider to )e our territor&, our entitlement,our personal @or tri)al space. 'n addition, it motiates us strongl& to de!end that which is within ourspace, what we consider to )e our 7ps&chic propert&.8 The rage o! a !emale )ear whose cu) isthreatened is a well/known expression o! this instinct. 0ull& owning and protecting &our territor&,whether it is &our =o), &our ideas, &our marriage, &our )od& or &our neigh)orhood, means )eing a)le tosa& and mean N'C

“ood indignation brings out all one(s power.”

# (alph Waldo Emerson

+n the other hand, when we are attempting to sei;e something @or some territor& that we dont,at a deep leel within, trul& !eel we are entitled to, we are at a relatie disadantage. This is wh& the

school )ull& )acks down when one o! his usual targets ultimatel& stands up and de!ends himsel!. "he %pectrum of Helplessness and #mpowerment

With learned helplessness, its almost as i! the spirit, the li!e !orce itsel!, has a)andoned the )od&. 'n situations where helplessness has not )een learned, )ut a health& sense o! ones territor& has )een learned, this spirit !ull& inhabits us. Likewise, =ust as those with learned helplessness ma& su!!er a )reakdown in the )od&s normal de!ensie mechanisms, particularl& the immune s&stem, the powerthat )ecomes aaila)le when we are empowered )& the territorial instinct can enhance the e!!ectienesso! these important s&stems to our health. That sense o! empowerment ma& een create an extraordinar&



healing response. Fear of %elf*#0pression

The degree o! disempowerment in our culture is extreme. At a deep leel, man& o! us donteen !eel entitled to the simplest !orm o! sel!/expression. The most common pho)ia in our culture, !or instance, is the !ear o! pu)lic speaking. When

people in a classroom o! are re5uested to state their name, where the& lie, and their !aorite ho))&,!ull& one/third o! them !eel graduall& increasing leels o! !ear as it comes closer and closer to their turnto speak. This nameless dread is simpl& a learned helplessness. The new)orn in!ants igorous cr& is a power!ul statement o! sel!/acceptance and sel!/esteem.r&ing )a)ies are sa&ing, loud and clear, 7' am8 Where hae we lost this !reedom, this powerM Wh&do we hide our !aces, su)=ugate ourseles to the opinion o! others, )lunt our personal power, and sti!lethe expression o! our creatiit&M Ba)ies dont hesitate to let &ou know when the& need something. And as the& grow older,children will continue to make their needs known# unless and until &ou conince them that the& dontown this right. To heal deepl&, we must reclaim our )irthright. Helplessness, "erritory, and Healing

As we hae seen, when a person !eels helpless and disempowered, the e!!ect ma& )e seen notonl& in their external enironment. This )ene!icial helplessness can also a!!ect the internal enironmentand inhi)it the proper ph&siological !unctioning o! the )od&, including the immune s&stem. "& experience, which is paralleled )& our experience with patients at The ancer %upport andEducation enter, is that indiiduals can learn to )e assertie, to awaken the territorial instinct, andeen to learn to sa& 7$+8 People going through our training at the center learn deep relaxation,meditation, and sel!/awareness. 'n doing so, the& deelop sel!/respect and sel!/appreciation. Then, )uilding on this )asis o! sel!/esteem, the& now learn assertieness and tools !or recogni;ing,acknowledging, and con!identl& protecting their space. This includes taking charge o! their medicaltreatment decisions, insisting on the time the& need !or rest, and expressing their needs to their !amilies.The& also learn to !eel and express health& anger. 0or man&, the most power!ul step is to state clearl&that the& hae cancer, without apolog&, shame, or !ear. We !ound that people at the enter showed highl& signi!icant changes, including a sense o! positie sel!/regard, perceied control oer their health, and increased a)ilit& to express emotion.Patients were also shown to hae a er& signi!icant decrease in helplessness and marked improementin their optimism !or recoer& and sense o! meaning in li!e. 'n short, we consistentl& saw a dramaticdecrease in the sense o! helplessness so common with people who hae receied a diagnosis o! cancer. Learned helplessness can )e reersed through learning the skills that ena)le &ou to de!ine andde!end &our own territor&, &our personal space. When this is achieed, the 5ualit& o! li!e improesconsidera)l&. "& )elie! is that an enhanced 5ualit& o! li!e, and the a)ilit& to occup& &our appropriate territor&improes &our chances o! not onl& suriing )ut thriing, regardless o! &our o!!icial medical prognosis.Although this has not )een clearl& proen through scienti!ic experiment as &et, certainl& the ps&chosocial and emotional )ene!its to the patient make it worthwhile to help him or her gain theseempowerment skills. And een i! it doesnt actuall& energi;e the white cells directl&, it certainl&doesnt inhi)it them. To achiee deep healing, we must gie ourseles permission to !eel entitlement, assertieness,and personal power when the& are appropriate, and to cultiate the a)ilit& to express them. Learning toexperience anger is a alua)le wa& to do this. Actiating this sense o! territorialism does not necessaril& mean !l&ing into a rage and shouting7' hate &ou8 at &our )oss or parents or &our children wheneer things get a little !rustrating.



strong...you can succeed...you are strong...you are confident... &ffirmations

0ollowing this imager&, or as a stand2alone session, &ou can gie &oursel! a!!irmations such asthe !ollowing. Be!ore doing these a!!irmations, tr& to !ind a place where &ou can take a !ew moments todo the deep relaxation process &ou hae learned. A!ter entering the deep relaxation state, read each o!

the !ollowing statements and allow &oursel! to experience how each o! them !eels. “%y inner spirit is alive and vital.” “I am valuable# loved# and filled with self2respect.” “&very day I grow more and more in touch with my essence.” “I feel and respond to the essential pulse of life ? the spirit within me.” “I am strong and courageous.” “I am competent and I $now it.” “Within myself I $now I have the power to fulfill my true needs.” “I feel inspiration at wor$ and at play.” “I am enthusiastic# positive# and in touch with the best that is within me.” “I feel a deep sense of commitment to those things I truly believe in.” “%y actions reflect my inner feelings of commitment.” “I wor$ and play with a sense of purpose# mission# and vision.”

HAPTE( %E?E$(ECLAI$IN#

+O)( INBO(N

%EALIN# &OTENTIAL,

E$OTIONS AN" T%E

I$$)NE S+STE$

“We physicians must become instruments. When that happens# motivated patients will use us towor$ miracles.”

# Bernie %. %iegel, ".D.

& New ranch of Medical %cience

A woman walked into a la)orator& at the 1niersit& o! Arkansas claiming that she could control

the reactiit& o! her immune s&stem. A test was administered in which she was in=ected with antigensmade !rom the )acteria that causes tu)erculosis. Her )od& reacted to it in the normal manner: a large,swollen red lump appeared at the site o! the in=ection. The woman then placed hersel! in a deepl& relaxed, meditatie state. This time when the&administered the tu)erculosis antigens, she instructed her )od& not to respond. "uch to the surprise o!the inestigators, there was no swelling or reddening o! the in!ected area. The experiment was repeatedseeral times with the same results 'n the C9s, a new )ranch o! medical science appeared, launching the stud& o! relationships )etween the mind @ps&che, the nerous s&stem @neuro, and the immune s&stem @immuno. With a



tongue/twister o! a name, 7ps&choneuroimmunolog&,8 this new area o! medical research gae scienti!iccredi)ilit& to an o)seration that some ph&sicians had )een noting !or centuries: the immune s&stemcould indeed )e pro!oundl& a!!ected )& sel!/image, )elie!s, and expectations. "uch o! this research has )een extended )& our new!ound a)ilit& to detect and measure theactiit& o! chemical messengers @called neurotransmitters. The neres @neurons within our )odies usethese chemical messengers to communicate with each other and with arious organs throughout our

)odies. While there hae )een man& exciting medical )reakthroughs in this area o! research, progresshas )een slow. The tremendous cost o! research, the complexit& o! the mind/)od& s&stem, and strictethical limitations on human experimentation hae all contri)uted to this slowdown. 0urthermore, ithas not )een eas& getting !inancial )acking !or this research. We hae to remem)er that most medicalresearch in this countr& is !inanced )& pharmaceutical companies who are looking !or new drugs the&can produce and sell. Ps&choneuroimmunolog& research is aimed at showing that the )od& is capa)le o! producing its own healing su)stances. The )ottom line is that stockholders o! the companies that inestin medical research cant see how the& can pro!it !rom such research and so will naturall& put theirdeelopmental mone& into the mone&/making entures instead. The upshot o! this is that in spite o! great progress, we still do not hae de!initie, irre!uta)le,la)orator& eidence demonstrating conclusiel& that disease states can )e predicta)l& a!!ected )& ourthoughts and !eelings. 1ntil such studies are completed, the pure scientist must resere opinion."eanwhile, )ased on m& clinical experience, ' am coninced that there are pro!oundl& importantconnections )etween thoughts, !eelings, and immune s&stem actiit&. While pure scientists and medical researchers must limit their e!!orts to those that attract theattention o! stockholders in Americas ast pharmaceutical industr&, clinicians like m&sel! ma& hae aer& di!!erent wa& o! looking at what works or doesnt work out here in the trenches. 0or the clinicianwho is constantl& on the lookout !or wa&s to get their patients well and keep them that wa&, the5uestions are much more down to earth. 0or the clinician, the motto is more like, 7'! it works and doesno harm, then make the er& )est use o! it that &ou can.8 Put another wa&, 7'! it walks like a duck and ittalks like a duck, then treat it like a duck.8 'n the end, i! m& patients get well, 'm going to assume it isa duck until ' learn something di!!erent

$arts and &ll

+ hundred years ago# family physicians $new how to rid their young patients of their warts.Opon examining the child who showed up with this common viral infection of the s$in# the doctorwould pretend to be fascinated by the swollen# callused lump. He would then reach into his poc$et and produce a shiny new uarter# which was a huge amount of money in those days. I(ll give you two bits for that wart#” he would offer. "he child(s interest in the uarter# combined with her faith in the doctor# somehow galvani-edthe child(s mind to produce a powerful reaction in her immune system. In a few days# the wart was gone and the happy youngster showed up at the doctor(s office to collect her uarter. "hough this wascommon practice up until MG years ago# we still can(t scientifically explain how why it wor$s.

*our immune s&stem is responsi)le !or the constant sureillance o! &our health. 't is anama;ingl& complex s&stem, a)le to detect the tiniest )its o! !oreign materials that might )e a threat to&our health, and in most cases, isolate or destro& them immediatel&. 'n the case o! an in!ectious agent,such as a irus, &our immune s&stem identi!ies speci!icall& what kinds the& are and then s&nthesi;essu)stances to eliminate them or render them )enign. As a result o! stressors !rom either external orinternal sources, howeer, &our immune s&stem can )ecome oerloaded and im)alanced,compromising its usual e!!ectieness. While the !ollowing explanation perhaps oersimpli!ies how the



that ultimately results in disease! ; 8earned helplessness seems to predispose us to many diseases. 0ince anger is# in many ways#an antidote to helplessness for some people# could the inability to express anger appropriately be atthe root of many immune dysfunctions! 0or instance, could the presence o! sel!/anger trigger the immune s&stems 7!riendl& !ire8 in a person who was geneticall& predisposedM +r could unexpressed anger toward others trigger an allerg&,

that is, cause our immune s&stems to somehow start identi!&ing a health& cell as an unhealth& oneMould the ina)ilit& to deelop een the su)tlest awareness o! anger#den&ing that harm!ul agents doexist in the world#leae our )odies open to inasion !rom the outside @in!ection, or !rom the inside@cancerM "& clinical experience, as well as research in the !ield o! ps&/choneuroimmunolg&, leads usto some er& interesting possi)ilities. To make &our own =udgment a)out this controersial su)=ect, itcan )e use!ul to look at the anecdotal eidence that is aaila)le, as well as the man& documentedclinical stories. +ut o! it there =ust might come some answers that &ou !ind help!ul in &our applicationo! deep healing. "he &ngry 9agina

As a !amil& ph&sician, ' o!ten saw women diagnosed as haing chronic, treatment/resistantaginitis. 'n such cases, the agina is una)le to throw o!! in!ections such as &east organisms or7nonspeci!ic8 )acteria. $onspeci!ic organisms are generall& )acteria that are part o! the normal !lora o! the agina. %ometimes, !or reasons not alwa&s discerni)le, the& )egin to multipl&, resulting inin!lammation, soreness, and discharge. ' )egan to wonder i! this in!lamed condition o! the agina mighthae its roots in an emotional con!lict. ' )egan taking a more complete emotional histor& !rom thesewomen, particularl& asking a)out !eelings associated with their most intimate relationships. 'n a surprisingl& large num)er o! cases, a!ter a !ew moments o! introspection, the womenacknowledged that the& were !eeling !rustrated with their partners, and o!ten the& !elt suppressed angerand sadness. 'n spite o! these !eelings, howeer, these women had decided to continue to hae sexualrelations, although the& were 5uite con!licted a)out this choice. +!ten the& were responding to pressure!rom their partners to suppress their own !eelings and engage in sexual intercourse. The& rationali;edthis )ehaior as 7a wi!es dut&.8 1ntil we talked, it had not occurred to them that this inner state o! ps&chological im)alance might )e contri)uting to their in!ection. When suggesting that this might )e the case, ' would o!ten see an unmistaka)le !lush o!recognition, as though some slum)ering part o! them had alwa&s known )ut had =ust awakened. $ext, ' o!!ered them suggestions !or improing communication with their partners and possi)l&changing their relationships. %ometimes this inoled the rather pain!ul con!rontation o! unresoledissues such as indiscretions, a)andonment, and ph&sical, sexual, or emotional a)uses that had )eenswept under the rug long ago. $eertheless, motiation was high, and the& were a)le to do it. Theresults were !re5uentl& dramatic and grati!&ing. +!ten, no new medications were necessar&, as the pro)lem with in!ection swi!tl& resoled. 'n man& o! these cases, anger was )eing suppressed. 'nstead o! )eing in!lamed with passion,these women were in!lamed with rage. $ot recogni;ing that it amounted to a)use o! their )odies toagree to sex in the presence o! such resentment, the& placed their aginas in a con!licted situation. Thenormal, congruent !low o! energ& to this organ was distorted, resulting in a )reakdown in de!ensesagainst normal !lora and other organisms commonl& present in the health& agina. *east and normal )acteria oerproduced and )ecame dominant residents, crowding out health&, protectie )acteria thatnormall& inha)ited the area. %imilarl&, ' also !ound that throat in!ections and upper respirator& in!ections were signi!icantl&more common in people who were nerous )e!ore oral examinations, pu)lic speeches, or di!!iculter)al exchanges. 'ts as i! the a)ilit& o! the throat to resist in!ection is )locked when we are con!licteda)out oicing our personal iews.



2istening to the Immune %ystem

+!ten what conentional medicine calls 7diseases8 are, in actualit&, learned reactions or eencreatie attempts on the part o! the deeper mind and immune s&stem to sole a pro)lem. +ne o! the )est examples ' eer o)sered o! this phenomenon inoled a patient named "arin: %arvin was a large man with a thic$ blac$ beard and a resounding bass voice that I often

envied. He was a well2respected dentist in the community. He always seemed calm# confident# secure#and at peace with himself# so I was uite surprised when he showed up in my waiting room. “I have come to see you because I want to ta$e a vacation#” he told me# in his usual# humorous#enigmatic way. He then went on to relate a most remar$able story.

CASE %ISTO(+: $A(*IN

't seems that soon a!ter )eginning his dental practice ten &ears ago, "arin !ound himsel! plagued )& recurrent iral in!ections o! his upper respirator& tract. 'n spite o! taking !lu shots eer&&ear, swallowing lots o! itamin , eating well, sleeping at least eight hours a night, and maintaining aigorous exercise program, he still got sick. His illnesses usuall& lasted a)out a week, during whichtime he was una)le to come to the o!!ice to see his patients. "ost people get sick during the damp, chill& winter months. But not "arin. He seemed to getthe !lu or a )ad cold an& season o! the &ear. As a result, he missed three or !our weeks o! work per &ear.The conse5uence o! this was that he was neer a)le to take enough time o!! !or a real acation. The !rustration he was !eeling a)out this was o)ious as "arin shared his stor& with me. With!urrowed )row and attenuated oice, he almost seemed to )e pleading with me: 7' was hoping &oucould !ind out whats going in m& su)conscious mind that makes me suscepti)le to these in!ections.8 During our !irst session together, "arin proed to )e a most willing su)=ect. He rapidl&entered a deepl& relaxed state. ' sent him home with a tape recording o! the experience along withinstructions to practice twice dail&, which he did, !aith!ull&. +n his second isit, ' decided to explore the historical roots o! his pro)lem. ' reasoned that i!the deeper mind was inoled, we might discoer the trigger causing his mind to in!luence his immunes&stem in such a wa& as to diminish its normal de!ensie !unctions. '! we could identi!& that trigger,then ma&)e "arin could train his deeper mind to a new kind o! response#one that !ought o!! thesein!ections rather than initing them in. A!ter "arin entered the deepl& relaxed state, ' asked his deeper mind to guide his awareness )ack oer the last !ew months to a er& speci!ic moment. ' asked him to go )ack to the period )e!orehis most recent illness. What had happened =ust a !ew moments )e!ore the inhi)ition o! his immunes&stem was triggeredM To gie his deeper mind a wa& to communicate that would aoid conscious thinking, whichtends to )reak the !ocus, ' deeloped a !inger signal. This is a techni5ue ' o!ten use in m& work. 'instructed "arins deeper mind to cause his le!t thum) to twitch when he recalled the memor& wewere seeking. "arins thum) twitched, and ' then asked him to relate what he was remem)ering at thatmoment. He descri)ed how he was working in his o!!ice, preparing a gold crown to go on a tooth. 'nthe )ackground he heard a song that he !irst heard man& &ears )e!ore during a isit to $iagara 0alls. 'nhis mind, he )egan to picture $iagara 0alls. He )egan re!lecting on how relaxing this isit had )een. Hecompared the =o& o! that isit with the exhaustion he now !elt. How wonder!ul it had )een to relax likethat 7' !eel so tired8 he sighed. 7' !eel like 'e )een working !or a thousand hours straight, and 'wish ' could hae a )reak.8 The !ollowing da& he woke up with s&mptoms o! the !lu 'n our next session, ' asked his deeper mind to guide us )ack to seeral more times =ust )e!ore in!ections showed up. Eer& trigger point he



identi!ied was accompanied )& thoughts a)out his work and how oerloaded with responsi)ilit& he !elt.How he wished he could relax and take it eas& ' then suggested that his deeper mind might guide him )ack to =ust )e!ore the !irst time in hisli!e that he experienced this association )etween !eeling oerwhelmed and the onset o! a iral in!ection.He went )ack to a memor& o! )eing ten &ears old. 't was earl& in the morning, and he was =ust wakingup. 't was a school morning, )ut this one was di!!erent. +rdinaril&, he liked school and was eager to get

to his classes. But on this da&, his usual enthusiasm was missing )ecause he !elt unprepared. "arin had alwa&s )een a good student. Hed alwa&s gotten the highest grades in spelling. Butthis time, prior to a spelling test, he had !ailed to stud& his words. 'nstead, he had pla&ed cards with a!riend late into the night. That morning he knew he wasnt prepared !or the test. His !irst thought uponawakening was, 7+h, no 'm going to !ail the spelling test, and 'm going to disappoint m& parentsThe teacher will )e upset with me, and m& !riends will tease me. ' wish ' didnt hae to go to schooltoda&.8 He !elt a sinking !eeling in his stomach, his heart was pounding, and he !elt hot all oer. At thatmoment, his )edroom door opened, and his mother came in to tell him it was time to get up. But on this particular morning, much to his surprise, she stopped in the middle o! the room, stared down at him,and shook her head. 7Well, theres no school !or &ou toda&8 she said. %he took a mirror !rom his )ureau and held it up to his !ace. 't was coered with little red dots."easles, he had measles But "arin )arel& heard her. All he knew was that he was sa!e. He wouldhae another chance to stud& his words, and no one would laugh at him. His parents wouldnt )edisappointed, and he wouldnt )e em)arrassed. He !elt a tremendous sense o! relie!. He could almosthear himsel! sa&ing thank &ou to all those little spots on his !ace. As he reiewed his memories, "arins recurring in!ections suddenl& made sense to him. His )od& had learned that i! it was !eeling oerwhelmed, it could get relie! )& permitting an in!ection."arins nerous s&stem had inadertentl& learned to inhi)it his immune s&stem. +! course thisremed& !or his stress had its down side, since it was happening at a deep leel that was )e&ond thereach o! his conscious mind. What had )egun as a er& e!!ectie de!ense mechanism had turned into anightmare oer which he had no control 'n a deep state o! relaxation, "arin decided that the )est solution !or his pro)lem was to taketime o!! work immediatel& when he )egan to hae !eelings o! )eing pressured. Through mentalimager&, he rehearsed working in his o!!ice, getting into a !eeling o! anxiet&, then walking directl& tohis receptionist and canceling the next !ew da&s o! work. This was a er& new )ehaior !or "arin. He generall& did not do things spontaneousl&. Hisnearl& ironclad commitment to the work ethic made it di!!icult !or him to take a acation no matterwhat. The !ollowing &ear was er& di!!erent !or "arin. He did not hae a single iral in!ection. Butin addition to that, he en=o&ed seeral weeks o! acation. He !elt much happier and got much more restthan he eer did at home in )ed with the !lu. And his wi!e and !amil& were much happier with his newli!est&le, too Perhaps the onl& one who wasnt happ& was his receptionist, who !ound that "arinsnew pattern o! a)ruptl& telling her to cancel seeral da&s worth o! patients caused her greatconsternation. As he got the hang o! it, "arin started planning his acations seeral weeks in adance. Heknew how long he could work )e!ore the !eelings o! )eing oerwhelmed and exhausted crept in, so henow set up acations accordingl&. ' last saw "arin a)out !ie or six &ears !ollowing our initial work together. He was stillacationing 5uite a )it, and like eer&one else, he caught a minor cold two or three times a &ear. But inmost cases he was )ack on the =o) a!ter a da& or two o!! work.



How the Mind*ody 2earns

We can onl& speculate, o! course, )ut theres enough research to reconstruct the learning patternthat "arins immune s&stem went through on the da& o! the spelling test, wa& )ack when he was achild. To )egin with, the stress that &oung "arin !elt as he woke up that morning was added to

pressures going on inside his )od& at a totall& unconscious leel. At the same time that he wasemotionall& distressed, his immune s&stem was in a state o! alarm and igilance as a result o! themeasles irus that had inaded his )od&. Then, the reward o! not haing to go to school somehow ledhis deeper mind to examine the oerall status o! the )od& and conclude that the disease state @iralin!ection might )e a alua)le mechanism !or 7saing his li!e,8 when he !elt pressure in the !uture. Likea police sergeant taking a mug shot o! a suspect, his )rain !iled awa& this in!ormation !or possi)le usein the !uture. Then, as an adult, wheneer !aced with !rustration and !eelings o! )eing oerwhelmed#as hewas that morning o! the spelling test# "arins nerous s&stem would search through its !iles and re/create a state that would allow iruses to multipl& and perhaps inhi)it the production o! in!ection/!ighting su)stances in the area @tissue inter!eron. There are alwa&s iruses around us, o! course. Butmost o! the time our immune s&stems success!ull& repel them. Howeer, "arins mind/)od& hadlearned to make use o! such iruses. 'nstead o! closing the door to the irus when the pressure was on,"arins s&stem !lung the door wide open and rolled out the welcome mat. +nce inside "arins respirator& tract, the irus went a)out its )usiness o! producing thein!ection. The !lu s&mptoms appeared, and he was ill !or a !ew da&s as his )od& prepared to deplo& itssecond line o! de!ense: the anti)odies. Eentuall&, the inader was destro&ed, and "arin could returnto work. 1n!ortunatel&, his )ills piled up, hed spent his acation sick in )ed, and instead o! resting allthat time, he worried a)out his patients and his !inances. "arin reersed this pattern, and retrained his mind/)od&, !irst )& recogni;ing the source o! his pattern, and then !iguring out a wa& to sta& one step ahead o! his immune s&stems response. A!ter a period o! consciousl& maintaining this new pattern, the old wa& o! operating was supplanted, and"arins 5ualit& o! li!e improed accordingl&. efending 3our Inner %pace

't can )e use!ul to think o! &our immune s&stem as a wa& &ou express and assert &oursel! at theinternal @ph&sical leel. Through the immune s&stem we set )oundaries !or what we will and wontallow to happen. <ust as we pa& to protect our homes, propert&, and loed ones in the external world, soour immune s&stems eliminate !oreign inaders and keep our inner enironments clean and happ&. Theimmune s&stem also destro&s and eliminates the waste products o! groups o! cells within us that haegone awr&. 'n C99, ' had the priilege o! co/!ounding, with "agdalene reighton and William Buchhol;,".D., the ancer %upport and Education enter in "enlo Park, ali!ornia. As one o! the !irst, and nowthe oldest cancer patient sel!/help organi;ations, we hae had an enormous amount o! experience with people who hae had cancer. "uch o! our work has had to do with the links )etween disease and oura)ilit& to express ourseles. %ome o! the most important aspects o! what cancer patients learn is to )emore assertie, to !eel com!orta)le with )eing who the& are, and to gie themseles permission to lie!ull&. This is usuall& accompanied )& a tremendous upswing in sel!/esteem and increased 5ualit& o!li!e. The !ollowing is an excellent example o! the kind o! results we witnessed at the enter.

CASE %ISTO(+: BA((+

'n C9K, Barr& )rought his third marriage to an end and was coninced he was a !ailure andwould neer hae a health& relationship. He was an architect, and during that &ear, he recalled sitting at



his drawing )oard thinking to himsel!, 's this all there is to li!eM 's this whats going to continue !or thenext G &earsM To him, the end o! his third marriage !elt like a prison sentence. 'n his mind, it wascertainl& not an opportunit&. He )egan to notice swelling in his neck and armpits and went to the doctor. A )iops& showedthat he had metastatic cancer, although the doctors could not determine where the primar& tumor was. 0urther tests reealed the primar& tumor to )e in his lier. The doctors decided that surger&

would )e useless4 he had a)solutel& no chance o! recoer&, and surger& would onl& weaken him anddela& chemotherap&, the onl& reasona)le approach. Barr& was eating poorl&, was una)le to sleep,re5uired round/the/clock pain killers, and had lost pounds. 7' was wasting awa&,8 he said. Barr& came to the ancer %upport and Education enter in "enlo Park a!ter haing read the )ook etting Well +gain )& arl %imonton, ".D. @see (esources section. He )egan to practicerelaxation and imager&. He started chemotherap&, although his doctors were sure that this would )ringhim onl& temporar& relie! and that nothing would eer cure him. ?er& soon a!ter his diagnosis o! cancer, Barr& )egan to reali;e that he had a power!ul reason tolie: his two sons. He reali;ed how dearl& he wanted to see them grow up. Li!e )ecame much moreimportant and alua)le to him. He decided to lie and to tackle his disease. Ten da&s a!ter starting chemotherap&, he )egan to show dramatic improement. He continuedto do his imager& !aith!ull& and made seeral )rie! explorations into other healing approaches,including diets, megaitamins, !aith healers, and#Barr& is still ama;ed that he did this#co!!eeenemas The doctors were ama;ed at his response to the chemotherap&, and in an attempt to perhapsextend his li!e a !ew more months, the& insisted that he )egin treatment with a second drug. His remission continued much longer than the ph&sicians had expected. oninced the& wereon a roll, the& urged him to continue still another !orm o! chemotherap& in an attempt to stretch theremission a !ew more months. Barr&, on the other hand, was )ecoming increasingl& coninced that his healing was more thantemporar& and was due to something more than chemotherap&. He insisted on )attling his doctors,graduall& conincing them to let him lower the dose and increase the time )etween treatments. Eentuall&, he was on such a low dose that een his oncologists had to agree that the drugs hewas taking couldnt possi)l& )e the reason he was still in remission. Bemused, the& agreed todiscontinue treatment. Barr& was !irst diagnosed with cancer in C9K. 0or the last C &ears, he has had no !urtherchemotherap&. "eanwhile, he met a woman, !ell in loe, and has )een happil& married !or more thanten &ears. He now teaches 7'ntroduction to 'mager&8 at the ancer %upport and Education enter.

There is, o! course, no wa& to proe that the deep healing that Barr& did with us at the enter iswhat saed his li!e. But oer the &ears, ' hae witnessed enough similar healing stories that 'mconinced these methods should not )e ignored4 at the er& least, the& should )e emplo&ed incon=unction with an& other medical treatment the person is receiing. ' am sure that in time we will )e

a)le to esta)lish the links )etween our emotions and our a)ilit& to !ight serious illnesses, includingcancer. 'n the meantime, when emplo&ed in a responsi)le wa&, deep healing can do no harm, andtheres an excellent chance it can make a er& positie di!!erence. &nger and 9iolence

' hae !ound in m& work that people with immune s&stem d&s!unctions associated with ps&choph&siological components o!ten hae di!!icult& with expressions o! anger. Anger is certainl&one o! the more di!!icult emotions to understand, control, and tolerate in our societ&. '! we are to getthe most !rom the deep healing processes 'e )een descri)ing here, we need to peel )ack the eils that



our societ& has placed around the experience o! anger and get to know it a little )etter#where it comes!rom, what it reall& means, and what we can do to express it in health& wa&s. Earl& in a childs li!e, she )egins to experience hersel! as a separate, independent )eing. %heattempts to make choices that re!lect this. This o!ten inoles sa&ing no. As parents, most o! us are!amiliar with this stage, and our lack o! understanding and patience is o!ten re!lected )& the name giento this wonder!ul period o! the childs li!e#7The Terri)le Twos.8 Because the& are not 5uite

com!orta)le with anger and assertieness within themseles, parents o!ten suppress this ital energ& intheir child. onersel&, other parents go too !ar in the opposite direction and crum)le )e!ore theirstu))orn two &ear old, there)& creating a little t&rant. What is the alternatieM What is a parent to do during this period o! their childs li!eM What ma& )e an een more important 5uestion to ask is, 7What is the child tr&ing to accomplishM8 To get someanswers, lets look at the issues o! assertieness and territorialism. This will reeal some ke& aspects o! wh& we !ind anger a di!!icult emotion to express. $hat5s Me, $hat5s 3ou7

+ur territorial instinct coers a er& wide range, !rom exerting ourseles in order to protect ourto&s !rom our pla&mates, all the wa& down to the !unctioning o! indiidual white )lood cells in our )odies and the anti/ )odies the& secrete. Anger is one o! the wa&s we express our territorial instincts. 'nessence, anger is what comes out when we hae experienced a iolation o! our territor& or )oundaries.'t is a com)ination o! health& sel!/assertieness and !ear that tells the intruder that he or she or it hasgone too !ar. Anger and rage can )e particularl& !rightening !orms o! expression, particularl& when the& leadto loss o! control, which onl& worsens the pro)lem. Thus, while it is clearl& important to !eel the !ullexperience o! anger, it is usuall& wise to !ind a sociall& accepta)le wa& to express it. 'n a health&!amil&, we learn that there are man& ade5uate and appropriate wa&s to protect ones space, anddeeloping the a)ilit& to choose the most appropriate !orm o! anger is the challenge. Here are some o!the choices o! expression we commonl& hae at our disposal: ; =lind <age# leading to physical violence )losing control of our emotions and punching someone in the face*. ; 'ury# unbridled anger that could easy lead to physical violence )losing control of ouremotions and throwing ob,ects# threatening violence*. ; /ontrolled +nger# with verbal and emotional attac$s# or silent resentment )brooding# refusingto communicate# name2calling# belittling others# being hypercritical# and being verbally abusive*. ; +ssertiveness# from a strident demand# through convincing arguments# and browbeating# to simply claiming the territory as our own )“&xcuse me# but you(re sitting on my hat5”*. As children, particularl& during the so/called 7Terri)le Twos,8 we are )ecoming aware o! ourseparateness and the territor& that goes with haing our own identit&. We ma& also )e starting to learnthat we need to protect our territor&. We dont want to )e hurt ph&sicall&, and we dont want our!eelings to )e hurt, !or example. But as we recogni;e these challenges, either consciousl& orunconsciousl&, we also discoer anger when some)od& crosses the line. %o, in a er& real wa&, those )ehaiors we experience as our children go through this period o! their lies is their trial/and/errorexperimentation with these issues. The child is seeking to de!ine her territor&, and she is attempting todiscoer how to express these new, un!amiliar !eelings that go with that process. The =ourne& tounderstanding territorialism and the expression o! emotions associated with it is a ha;ardous one, particularl& in a societ& where our main wa& o! dealing with these issues is to den& that the& exist or toallow them to explode into destructie aggression. %elf*&cceptance and "erritorialism

When we hear the word anger , the !irst thing most o! us think a)out is iolence. But =ust as



anger is a special expression o! assertieness, so iolence is a special expression o! anger, one whereanger is not onl& felt , )ut expressed , and expressed in a wa& that is aimed at destro&ing the target @or person either ph&sicall& or emotionall&. '! &ou learn to accept the !eelings &ou hae within &ou, and&ou !ull& comprehend the di!!erence )etween !eeling an emotion and acting on it, &ou can !reel& permit&oursel! to !eel &our anger. *ou can !eel secure that &ou will not translate it into destructie ph&sicalaction unless &ou choose to do so. @0or example, i! a person attacks &ou ph&sicall&, punching &ou and

wrestling &ou to the ground, &ou will pro)a)l& want to respond with ph&sical !orce. '! &ou do not !ind wa&s to sa!el& experience &our anger or assertieness, &ou ma& !ear it orsuppress it. This sets the stage !or man& ph&siological im)alances, some o! which ma& a!!ect &ourimmune s&stem, as wee alread& )egun to explore. &llergies4"he 'veractive Immune %ystem

As we hae discussed, when an immune s&stem is oeractie, the s&mptoms and a!!ectedorgans ma& depend upon the ps&chosocial stressor that originall& oerwhelmed the s&stem. The!ollowing stor& is an excellent illustration o! how the !ear associated with a iolation o! ones territoriescan hae an impact on the immune s&stem when the anger associated with that !ear is not appropriatel&expressed.

CASE %ISTO(+: >E((+

<err& was a short, slim man who walked and talked slowl&, as i! care!ull& choosing each stepand each word. The look in his e&es was one o! igilance and ague apprehension, as though he was perpetuall& concerned a)out what might )e lurking around the next corner. He 5uestioned me care!ull&a)out m& methods and m& )elie!s )e!ore he was willing to reeal the pro)lem that )rought him to seeme. His allergies had )een a pro)lem !or as long as he could remem)er, and the& )ecame particularl& )ad each !all when the ha& was harested. His e&es would water and his nose would )ecome so congested that on some da&s he could )arel& drie his car. He had also noticed that hisallergies to grass )ecame somewhat worse when he was under stress. He wanted to !ind out i! there wassomething he could do to improe matters. During a session with <err&, ' had him trael )ack through a num)er o! situations in which hisallergies had )een triggered )& emotional !actors. %ome images that arose had to do with deadlines he!eared he would not )e a)le to make. +thers inoled situations in which he was critici;ed. Another seto! images related to his driing along the highwa&, seeing !reshl& cut !ields o! ha& with )ales stackedhigh. 'n all three kinds o! situations, howeer, he reported an inner sense o! !ear, a !eeling o! loomingdisaster. ' then suggested that his deeper mind regress )ack to a !ew moments )e!ore the er& !irst timethis reaction was eer triggered.

<err& was !our &ears old, and it was a )right, sunn& da& on his !athers !arm. 't was late summer,and the air was !illed with the smell o! !resh ha&. Huge )ales were stacked neatl& in the close/cropped

!ields. <err& was )reathing well, there was no trace o! allerg&. 'n !act, he had a long )lade o! grass inhis mouth and was chewing it the wa& he had seen the !armhands do. He had =ust !inished lunch andwas walking )eside his !ather, who had o!!ered to take him to watch the mechanics !ix the tractor. <err&walked proudl& with his chest out. He !elt er& grown up to )e inited to go see the men working. As the& rounded the corner o! the )arn, the smell o! the ha& was particularl& strong, as the lo!thad =ust )een !illed with the !reshl& cut )ales. %uddenl&, <err& saw something that caused him to !ree;ein his tracks. (ight in !ront o! him, standing next to the tractor, was a huge monster. 't was as tall as aman, )ut looking up at it perched high on the tractor, it seemed twice as tall as an&thing <err& had eerseen.



Where a !ace would normall& )e there was =ust a )lo), with a )ig )right rectangle where thee&es should hae )een. 'n one o! its hands was something that looked like some kind o! glowing 0tarWars weapon that emitted the )rightest light <err& had eer seen. 'noluntaril&, he let out a shriek. Thething heard him and 5uickl& swung around to !ace him. To <err& it looked as i! it were =ust a)out toattack. <err&s centuries/old !ight/or/!light reaction was instantl& actiated. Panic/stricken, he turnedand started to run as !ast as his little legs could carr& him. %uddenl&, he !elt something large and stronggra) his upper arm. Looking up through his tears, he could see it was his !ather who glowered at himand growled, 7ome )ack here, &ou little scared& cat.8 <err&s !eet still churned in the dust, )ut his

!athers hand pulled him )ackward. <err&s mind was thrown into con!usion. Wh& was his !ather dragging him )ack toward themonsterM He had alwa&s wanted to please his !ather and had alwa&s tried not to )e a 7scared& cat,8 )utthis was too much. He !elt completel& oerwhelmed. As the& rounded the corner o! the )arn again, the !armhands who had )een standing around thetractor were laughing uproariousl& and pointing at him. The !aceless monster had =umped down !romthe tractor and came menacingl& toward him. 't still held the !earsome sword in its hand, and the otherhand was raised menacingl&, encased in a huge gloed claw. Terrori;ed, <err& reali;ed his !ather was pushing him within arms reach o! the thing. He kicked and screamed with all his strength, )ut it wasntenough. 0inall&, in sheer desperation, he )it his !athers hand, and )roke !ree. He died through a smallhole under the !ence and ran home to his mother )e!ore an& o! the men could catch him.

As he relied the trauma o! this terri)le da& in m& o!!ice, <err&s e&es teared pro!usel&, and hehad to )low his nose a num)er o! times. When ' )rought him out o! the memor& and )ack to the peaceand calm o! his special place, he remarked on how odd an experience it was to hae relied that eent,seeing it simultaneousl& through the e&es o! an adult and those o! a child. Although he had neer consciousl& recalled this scene )e!ore, <err& could clearl& see that the!earsome monster was merel& a sa!et&/helmeted man repairing a tractor hitch with an arc welder. $eertheless, there was still an appreciation o! the !ear experienced )& the child part o! him. He



recogni;ed that this panic had the same 5ualit& as the !eeling he had experienced in each o! the otherscenes we had reiewed. He could also understand the source o! the childs con!usion. An& !our/&ear/old !arm )o&would hae )een !rightened )& this strange encounter. He was a)le to understand other things the little )o& couldnt understand#that his !ather had not turned against him, )ut had simpl& wanted him togrow up to )e strong and independent. 0rom these adult perspecties, <err& was now a)le to speak to

the little child within him, soothing him and easing his !ears. $ext, we literall& rewrote that earlier scene. +nce again we started with a !our/&ear/old <err&, )ut as he relied that experience in our new ersion o! the stor&, he went through it with his adultknowledge and understanding. He was a)le to )e er& relaxed when he saw the welder. There was nocr&ing or screaming, no runn& nose. He could !eel his !athers hand holding him, and although he !eltsome anger at his !athers in!lexi)ilit& and insensitiit&, this time he !elt no !ear or panic. He could seethat the !arm hands were =ust teenage )o&s, and their opinions o! him were unimportant. 1sing the tape we made o! his session with me, <err& went through this memor&, as well as allthe other memories we had reiewed, in the priac& o! his own home. He also rewrote other childhoodscenes in which he had !elt an exaggerated amount o! !ear and apprehension. As he relied thesescenes, once again !eeling his !ear, he used deep relaxation to reduce the tension o! his !ear response.He isuali;ed himsel! as relaxed, competent, and sa!e. As he practiced with the new recordings o! these eents oer the next weeks, <err&s li!echanged considera)l&. He )ecame much more assertie at work and approached con!rontations anddeadlines with much more securit&. But most dramaticall&, when late summer and autumn arried, hisallerg& was )ut a pale shadow o! what it had alwa&s )een. He needed no medication, and except !orhaing to )low his nose a !ew times a da&, he !elt completel& normal in eer& other respect.

To understand the mechanism inoled in <err&s stor&, we need to remem)er that the stressresponse @the general adaptation s&ndrome is the )od&s all/out alarm, which goes into action when ademand appears !or which there is no read& response. The terror and con!usion <err& originall& !elt hadoerwhelmed the capacit& o! his !our/&ear/old mind to make an& order or sense o! what was

happening. 'n his mind, not onl& was he a)out to )e killed, )ut he was )eing dragged to his death )& the!ather he had trusted and loed 0aced with this extraordinar& demand, the deeper leels o! his mind!ranticall& called out all o! their emergenc& reseres to tr& to sae the da&. 'n his panic, <err&s digestion ceased, and )lood !low was pumped to his muscles, )ut the& wereincapa)le o! deliering him !rom the danger. His )lood pressure went up, )ut the increased ox&gen tohis ital organs didnt sole the pro)lem. He h&perentilated and cried out, )ut ridding his )od& o!car)on dioxide sered no purpose, and no one responded to his pleas. "eanwhile, <err&s immune s&stem, !ollowing its eolutionaril& programmed script,s&stematicall& searched all areas o! his )od&, seeking !oreign proteins that might represent someinading organism or toxin. As it searched through the tender mucosal tissue o! his nose, which washighl& in!lamed due to his !ear and cr&ing, it discoered proteins that were not a normal part o! his

)od&. 't took a chemical 7!ingerprint8 o! this possi)l& dangerous su)stance and )egan to attempt tocreate an anti)od& to it. 1n!ortunatel&, the human immune s&stem cannot make complete anti)odies to molecules o!ha& proteins. Had this )een possi)le, the resulting particles would hae attracted macrophages, hungr&de!enders o! the inner space, who would hae 5uickl& cleared the )od& o! them. But )ecause ha& protein is not reall& a natural enem&, the )od& can onl& make incomplete anti)odies, called 7haptens.8The pro)lem with haptens is that the& trigger mast cells located along the walls o! capillaries, causingthem to )urst. These )urst cells then released histamine into the nasal mucosa. The histamine then produced the s&mptoms that we associate with allerg&#stu!!& nose, clogged sinuses, and !acial pain.



0rom that point on, wheneer <err& was con!ronted with situations in which he might )ecritici;ed or em)arrassed, or wheneer molecules o! ha& protein were deposited on his nasal mucosa,the allergic reaction would )e triggered, along with a !eeling o! dread. Each o! these kinds o! eentsconstituted a 7partial stimulus.8 'n response to this partial stimulus, his s&stem attempted to re/createall the other stimuli that had )een present during the conditioning trials. Thus, it called !orth the allergicreaction =ust descri)ed.

+! course, this is not to impl& that eer&one who su!!ers !ear is going to deelop an allerg&. $or does it mean that eer&one who is emotionall& a)used )& a !ather will deelop a histamine reaction.Another person, with a di!!erent emotional constitution and immune s&stem, might walk awa& !romthat same @or similar eent, with no allerg&. This person might, instead, tend to react with stomachtension and )egin a li!elong pro)lem o! gastritis. +r, the& might not deelop an& associated s&mptomsat all #nvironmental &llergies

As the ciili;ed world dumps more and more toxins and allergens into our air and water,enironmental allergies are on the rise. Part o! our healing as a species is to reerse this situation. $eertheless, we must remem)er that the exposure to a noxious su)stance or eent is onl& one !actor inthe etiolog& o! an& disease.

CASE %ISTO(+: &A)LINE

At the age o! , Pauline deeloped seere enironmental allergies. 't was rather a heroic trip!or her een to trael to m& o!!ice, since an& excursion out o! the house, especiall& on the !reewa&,inaria)l& led to seeral da&s o! de)ilitating allergic s&mptoms. Through a %electie Awareness Exploration session we discoered a deep/seated )ut neerrecogni;ed or expressed anger towards her mother. We used modeling, imager&, role/pla&ing, and sel!/image rescripting to help her learn to mo)ili;e the !eelings o! resentment and irritation and then expressthem. 0inall&, we eoled imager& !or in!orming her immune s&stem that hence!orth she would takemore responsi)ilit& !or expressing her true needs directl&. $ow, it was no longer necessar& !or herimmune s&stem to tr& to compensate, and it could stop producing the !ault& anti)odies it had )eencreating. Within three months, Paulines allergies had irtuall& disappeared. %he applied to college andmoed out o! her mothers house and onto the campus. %eeral &ears later, there was still no recurrenceo! the pro)lem.

The immune s&stem, and the mechanisms )& which it works, are extremel& complex, and ourknowledge o! this ama;ing s&stem is trul& in its in!anc&, as is our knowledge a)out how it inter!aceswith the ps&che. How a person will react to a gien stimulus, threat, or stressor is highl& indiiduali;ed.Allergies represent onl& one o! these wa&s.

&utoimmune isease4Implicit %elf*&nger

The social ta)oos a)out expressing anger lead man& people to suppress this ital emotion. As aresult, the anger sometimes turns inward. 'nstead o! expressing our anger a)out something that hashappened in the external world, we attack ourseles, though it should )e noted that this attack is usuall&unconscious. The attack ma& take the !orm o! negatie sel!/talk, emotional !ear and depression, or ph&sical im)alance. This ph&sical sel!/aggression ma& also take the !orm o! an autoimmune disease.%arahs stor& is an example o! this.

CASE %ISTO(+: SA(A%



%arah was in her mid/!orties when she )egan to experience sti!!ness and swelling in her =ointsand a )utter!l& shaped rash on her !ace. A!ter isiting seeral doctors, she was diagnosed with7%&stemic Lupus Er&thematosus,8 a disease in which the immune s&stem manu!actures anti)odies thatattack the nuclei o! the )od&s own health& cells. The course o! this chronic condition usuall& includedarthritis and the gradual d&s!unction o! man& ital organs.

'n a therapeutic session with me, we went )ack to her childhood. %arahs !ather was a well/respected )usinessman and a leading citi;en o! the "idwestern town where the& lied. %he had preiousl& descri)ed him as )eing strict )ut also er& compassionate. During the regression, %arah relied memories in which her !ather punished her !or not liingup to expectations: a low grade on a test, not going to )ed on time, 7sassing.8 The usual punishmentwas to hae her strip o!! all her clothes and )end oer so he could whip her with a )elt. %he duti!ull&su)mitted. A!ter all, she had mis)ehaed, and she 7had it coming to her8#at least that is the wa& shed!elt a)out it up until now. During the course o! the )eating, the pain would oerwhelm her, and when she had )eenreduced to choking so)s and desperate pleading, her !ather would stop. %he then descri)ed, in a littlechilds oice, how he would 7take pit& on her su!!ering8 and com!ort her. He would do this )&remoing his clothes and getting in the )ed under the coers with her and holding her close to him, asher little )od& so))ed. When we looked at the situation !rom the perspectie o! the adult mind, %arah could seesomething she had neer een considered )e!ore. %he had alwa&s )elieed her !ather to )e a kind andcompassionate man, and since childhood she had actuall& iewed this a)usie )ehaior as eidence o!this. %itting in m& o!!ice, she reali;ed she had )een duped. He had led her to )eliee that whippingher was what a !ather had to do, that he had no choice, and that he was doing it )ecause o! his deeploe !or her. 1ntil this moment, she had considered hersel! the cause o! the )eating. The onl& thing shehad seen her !ather initiating was the 7soothing8 o! her, the gentle stroking o! her )ruised thighs and )uttocks that he did as he held her close to him. %uddenl&, the aw!ul truth )egan to dawn upon her# she had )een the ictim o! ph&sical, sexual, and emotional a)use. The recollection o! een more )latantsexual a)uses !ollowed. %ara was !urious. When she had !ull& mo)ili;ed her anger, we went to the next stage o! healing4 we rescriptedthose traumatic eents. Then we )egan to examine her adult li!e. 't turned out, not surprisingl&, that %arah had married a man who was also er& success!ul andhighl& respected )ut who had a seere drinking pro)lem. His a)uses o! her took the !orm o! er)alattacks and un!air restrictions !orced upon her. %he )egan to reali;e that her hus)and was also sexuall&a)usie. %he con!ronted him, and he was dum)!ounded )& the power o! his !ormerl& timid wi!e. Hestopped drinking, and the& entered marriage counseling. %u)se5uentl&, %arah )egan to experience a change in her ph&sical condition. %he was a)le todrie, walk, and een clim) stairs. The results o! her la)orator& studies )egan to look much )etter,indicating that her immune s&stem was making !ewer and !ewer anti)odies to her own cells. %he is stilldoing well six &ears later and is liing a li!e much more expressie o! her personal alues and desires.

Miracles of the ody*Mind

As we hae seen in this chapter, our )odies and minds are clearl& not independent o! oneanother. +ur li!e experiences, and the wa&s we process and hold those experiences in our minds, candramaticall& in!luence those mechanisms within the )od&/mind that are intended to keep us well. Theimmune s&stem, it seems, is particularl& suscepti)le.



"ost o! us know that traumatic experiences in our lies can a!!ect our health. We hae pro)a)l&had the experience o! getting sick to our stomachs during or a!ter an upsetting eent, or getting a )adcold or the !lu !ollowing a traumatic emotional loss. But =ust as our minds can send out messages thatimpact our )odies in negatie wa&s, the er& power to do that suggests the exact opposite: that perhapsour minds can also hae a positie in!luence on our health. "a&)e, as the clinical anecdotes in thischapter suggest, we can een rewrite those old stories that are presentl& proiding the internal model

!or disease. And ma&)e in the rewriting, we can erase the disease model and reprogram our internals&stem !or health. 'denti!&ing the roots o! an illness is not, as one might suspect, an eas& task. But it is importantto know that it can )e done. Then, once wee identi!ied that stor&, it is possi)le to rewrite it in a wa&that reerses the original disease/oriented e!!ect, giing the )od& a new wa& to react. While there arentan& simple instructions !or accomplishing all this, the stories in this chapter are excellent examples, perhaps guiding &ou toward &our own healing. 'n the remaining chapters, well )e discussing other methods &ou can appl&. B& the time &ouhae !inished reading this )ook, &oull )e well e5uipped to make !ull use o! these insights !or rewriting&our own stories.


The !ollowing 5uestions are not usuall& ones that most people answer immediatel&. The& areintended as guidelines, !ocusing &our attention on issues that a!!ect the mind/)od& )& producing eitherillness or health. As these 5uestions come into &our awareness and &ou continue to ask them in &ourdail& li!e, &oull moe closer and closer to taking charge o! &our health in wa&s &ou ma& hae oncethought impossi)le. These are 5uestions that draw &ou closer to making optimal use o! the greathealing powers o! &our immune s&stem. Focusing /uestions

C. Begin to !ocus on wa&s that &our health is a!!ected )& &our )elie!s and emotions. 0orexample, hae &ou eer noticed that &ou get more colds when &ou are depressed, under great pressure,or are !eeling angr& at someone in &our li!eM +r, has a ph&sician or !riend eer told &ou that i! &oudont slow down#7Take time to smell the roses8#&oure going to end up haing a heart attackM . Do &ou recogni;e the a)oe situation in an& people around &ouM . 0ocus some attention on the )elie!s that guide &our li!e. 0or example, is the drie !or materialwealth such an oerriding )elie! that &ou take no time !or &our !amil&, personal recreation, or doingsomething reall& good !or &oursel!M Are there religious, ethical, or spiritual )elie!s that guide &ou,tending to direct &ou toward making those choices that are nurturing and health&M Whateer issuescome up when &ou ask &oursel! these 5uestions, explore them a )it, particularl& in terms o! how the&a!!ect &our mind/)od&, either positiel& or negatiel&. Particularl& keep in mind the stories in thischapter, which illustrate the correlations )etween the )elie!s and emotions &ou hold in &our mind andhow these 7mental8 issues can hae an impact on &our ph&sical )od& through their impact on &ourimmune s&stem. 8oing Inside

Deep healing depends not =ust on deep relaxation, )ut on consciousl& holding within &our mindimages o! ideal health !or eer& part o! our )od&. +ne wa& to do this is to imagine that &ou can gowithin &our )od&. *ou ma& want to consult a ph&siolog& )ook that has clear pictures to help &ou withthis. 'magine traeling within &our )od&, or haing x/ra& ision that allows &ou to see an& areas o!&our )od& that &ou wish to heal. $ow, enision the natural healing !orces o! &our )od& in an& wa& that the& appear to &ou. 0or



example, &ou might hae images o! anatomicall& correct immune cells, or &ou might get good results )& imagining a posse on white horses charging in to surround and annihilate a iral or )acterialin!ection, or perhaps a cancer. %ome people imagine do;ens o! superheroes swooping down to knockout o!!ending cells or microorganisms. The important thing is to choose an image that works !or &ou,that reall& strikes a chord with &ou. +nce &ou hae &our healing images in mind and !eel good a)out them, isuali;e &our healing

!orces )ringing a)out the trans!ormation to health that is needed )& &our )od& at this time. The!ollowing imager&, adapted !rom Healing ourney @see the (esources section in the )ack o! the )ook,is an excellent example o! how &our inner resources can )e mo)ili;ed through imager&. To use thisimager&, !irst go into a deepl& relaxed state, as &ou hae done in preious exercises. Then isuali;e thehealing process as !ollows. $ote that ' call the image that s&m)oli;es the healing !orce &ou haechosen, the 7'nner Healer.8 Bour Inner Healer may be white blood cells# an army of doctors and nurses# $nights on whitehorses# a glowing mist of healing energy# or whatever other image wor$s best for you. 0ee your inner healer in your mind(s eye. 0ense it in any way you can...and now imagine it atwor$ removing whatever impediment to your health that you have imagined. Watch the process you have visuali-ed as if you were watching a movie or a television program...watch# hear# experience this healing...this cleansing process. +nd as you see it# $now that your body is bringing about a physical healing in the area that needs it. With each breath# your body is sending more healing energy to the area you are imagining. Discomfort drains from your body through your relaxed fingers and toes...and the color...themusic...the healing chemicals produced by your body...flow from your chest and other areas with eachbreath...flowing smoothly# powerfully# gently# and lovingly whenever they are needed...you feel thehealing occurring right now. 1erhaps you can sense# deep within# a feeling of relief as you reali-e that the healing process is speeding up within your body...you watch the healing being completed...li$e a movie...li$e a flowerblossoming from a bud to full bloom... Bou see your Inner Healer finish this marvelous healing wor$...and you see the healthy imageof this part of your body coming to light# vibrant# and vitally healthy. Bou have healed...you are one with your image ideal...the ideal of perfect health...time hasdissolved...and now the healing is completed. Thousands o! people hae greatl& )ene!ited !rom doing this healing exercise. $ote that it is notsomething that works like some medications, which get results a!ter swallowing the !irst one. The e!!ect is cumulatie, creating the health& state graduall& and gentl& oer a period o! da&s,weeks, or een months. <ust as with an& reall& power!ul medication or procedure, healing happensgraduall& and oer a period o! time. "ake this exercise a regular part o! &our dail& li!e, and &ou will )esurprised )& the results.

HAPTE( E'-HT

I$A#E(+,&)TTIN# "EE&(ELA'ATION TO !O(

“"he uest for lasting solutions is hopeless.

/hange is a matter of living.”



#William <ames

"odern scienti!ic theor& and traditional Buddhist teachings )oth tell us that the essence o! theknown unierse is change. The Buddhists go a step !urther#to state that the root o! all humansu!!ering can )e traced to our e!!orts to resist change#o! wanting to control what is happening or !orce

eents to un!old according to our personal desires. Part o! $ewtons and Descartes theor& o! the unierse was that we could )reak down complexentities into their !undamental )uilding )locks. 't was thought that these indiisi)le )locks would )euni5ue and di!!erent !or each su)stance. Thus, iron would ultimatel& )e shown to consist o! tin& piecesthat were di!!erent !rom the tin& pieces that make up, sa&, water or )one. What we now know, howeer, is that there are no uni5ue, indiisi)le components. Whenscientists split the atom, the& !ound onl& electrons and protons that were the same no matter whatelement the& came !rom. "oreoer, when the& inestigated what was inside these su)atomic particles,the& !ound onl& i)ration#a hum, a regularl& changing electromagnetic !ield. The&, like the Buddhists )e!ore them, had to draw the conclusion that in its essence all is change, an in!inite, immuta)le,su)atomic @m.

$here "here5s %tress, "here5s hange

“+ll progress stems from change# but all change is not necessarily progress.”

# E. "iller

hange and our resistance to change are the core issues surrounding stress. All )ut the mostinsigni!icant changes produce stress, since stress is, )& de!inition, a response to a demand. What we perceie as small changes can and usuall& do produce a small amount o! stress4 what we perceie aslarge changes produce larger amounts o! stress. But notice: the ke& word here is perceive. +ur success in most important endeaors in li!e is )ased on our a)ilit& or ina)ilit& to handlestress. 0urther, man& o! the im)alances we call s&mptoms and diseases are the result o! ourmishandling stress in the past. We need to keep in mind here that =ust )ecause we perceie something as true does notnecessaril& make it so. +!ten our channels o! attention are cluttered )& anxiet&, !ear, worr&, and eenemotions such as grie! and regret, all o! which are produced )& our past experiences. The memories o!those past experiences can so thoroughl& color our perceptions o! the present that the stress we !eel inresponse to the current eent ma& )e wa& out o! proportion to its actual challenges or demands.Learning deep relaxation ena)les us to slow down or een stop the memories and concerns we are pro=ecting into the present. Deep relaxation can calm down our minds, our nerous s&stems, and our )odies. When we hae mastered this skill, we possess a tool o! extraordinar& potenc& )ecause it canassist us in meeting een li!es greatest challenges.

"he Pain*%pasm ycle



“What goes around# comes around.”

# 0olk sa&ing

'n stud&ing the man& diseases and disorders that human !lesh is heir to, it is not long )e!ore one )egins to notice how man& o! these inole tension and muscular spasm. Excessie leels o! tension in )oth oluntar& and inoluntar& muscles can result in pain, d&s!unction, and illness. A !ew &ears ago, Harard doctor Her)ert Benson conducted controlled research on people whohad high )lood pressure, as he reported in his er& reada)le and in!ormatie )ook, "he <elaxation <esponse. He demonstrated that a ma=orit& o! people could signi!icantl& lower their )lood pressure )&emplo&ing relaxation techni5ues on a regular )asis. %ince that time, numerous other studies haecon!irmed that a wide ariet& o! techni5ues ranging !rom &oga, to transcendental meditation, to auto/genic training and h&pnosis, can e!!ectiel& relax muscles. Eleated )lood pressure represents =ust one o! an entire class o! diseases whose s&mptoms

inole inappropriate muscle tension. +thers we might include in our list o! such disorders are: gastric pain and spasm, asthma @terminal )ronchioles go into spasm, tension headaches @muscles o! the neckand scalp, migraine @headache s&ndrome @ascular musculature, diarrhea and constipation@uncoordinated tension o! colonic muscles, )ack spasm, sciatica, and )ackache, and teeth grinding andclenching @T"<. There are man& other health conditions we could add to this list, )ut medical science has onl& )egun to uncoer the com)ined !actors that ma& )e causing them. 'ts no wonder, then, that such alarge proportion o! all medications ph&sicians prescri)e are solel& !or the purpose o! inducing muscular relaxation. "ost prescriptions contain a ariet& o! ingredients, one o! which is a muscle relaxant@?aliumT", LomotilT", or a!ergot T". %ince our muscles )elong to us and are here to do our )idding, it seems odd that the& are the

source o! such trou)le. But heres an explanation a)out oluntar& musculature that can help usunderstand wh& this ma& )e so. +ne o! the primar& purposes o! muscles is to help us aoid and escape !rom threateningsituations, ones that could cause in=ur&, pain, or death. +ur muscles dont need to go to school to learnto =erk our !oot awa& i! it is touched )& something hot or sharp. The natural reaction o! muscles to the perception o! in=ur& is to contract so as to withdraw the part that is in danger. %imilarl&, at a time o!generali;ed danger or when the source o! the danger is unclear, there tends to )e an oerall increase inmuscle tension throughout the )od&. This is part o! the stress response. As a teenager, &ou ma& hae pla&ed the game o! 7making a !rog in the muscle8 )& punchingsomeone sharpl& with &our knuckle or haing this done to &ou. This phenomenon demonstrates thetendenc& o! a muscle to react to in=ur& )& contracting and going into spasm.

+ur )odies originall& eoled in enironments where such responses were alua)le protectieresponses to ph&sicall& threatening situations. But toda&s world is di!!erent !rom that o! the past4were not con!ronting wild )easts on a dail& )asis who perceie us as tast& morsels, nor warringneigh)ors who tr& to kill us with )ig clu)s. 'n !act, the muscular responses that once sered us so well,giing us the power to !ight )ack or run, can themseles cause pro)lems !or us in a world where thethreats are much more internal. onsider the person who has )een er& worried. The natural responseo! the muscles in the neck and scalp will )e to tense, read&ing the head and neck !or action. '!maintained in this state !or long, this can produce tin& areas o! in=ur& in the muscle !i)ers4 this in=ur& isdetected )& local neres and is experienced as pain.



The re!lex o! the nerous s&stem is swi!t and speci!ic: it contracts muscles in the area. The pro)lem here is that additional muscle tension does not remoe the )od& part !rom danger4 on thecontrar&, it compounds the damage, giing rise to more pain. The pain produces more tension, and soon, until the muscle goes into a state we call spasm.

"he 9icious ircle of "ension

As &ou can see !rom the diagram, a icious circle has )een produced. 't continues until thec&cle is interrupted )& a muscle relaxant, a pain killer, a deep relaxation techni5ue#or a trip to Hawaii.%imilar icious circles can inole the inoluntar& muscles. The man with a tendenc& toward spasticcolitis and diarrhea, !or example, is a!raid he will hae an attack during the middle o! a moie or in themiddle o! an important )usiness meeting. The resulting !ear increases the possi)ilit& o! an attack andma& actuall& trigger the er& situation he is tr&ing so desperatel& to aoid. During an asthmatic attack, the musculature around the bronchioles in our lungs constricts,limiting the !low o! air. This results in air )eing trapped in the air sacs, or alveoli# much as air istrapped in a )alloon when &ou s5uee;e its neck. The trapped air is 5uickl& depleted o! its ox&gen,leading to a !eeling o! su!!ocation and the impulse o! wanting to take in more air. This attempt tooerin!late the aleoli !ails, and the persons anxiet& rises. The increased anxiet& causes more tensionin the walls o! the )ronchioles, and the trapping o! the air )ecomes een more acute.



The wa& out o! this particular icious circle is to somehow conince the asthma su!!erer to relaxduring the exhalation phase o! )reathing. This adice seems to )e =ust the opposite o! what we want todo4 we !eel like taking in more precious air. We want to gulp it in, irtuall& panic/stricken in oure!!orts. Howeer, the truth is that lengthening the exhalation phase allows the air sacs to relax andempt& more !ull&, making room !or !resh ox&gen. Een though the spasm ma& not )e not immediatel&relieed, more air is neertheless taken in. As com!ort increases, anxiet& su)sides, and that part o! the

muscle spasm that is )eing triggered )& anxiet& is relaxed. This eased )reathing produces more com!ortand relaxation4 a di!!erent kind o! positie !eed)ack loop, a 7irtuous circle,8 replaces the 7iciouscircle.8

+nce again we see the positie a!!ects o! change in the internal environment. And we learn!rom this how a )asic surial mechanism, one that works !ine !or lower animals in a primitieenironment, can )e modi!ied# either !or )etter or !or worse#)& our a)ilit& to think, to ealuate oursituation, to imagine an outcome, and to hae an emotional reaction to what we hae imagined.Depending on how well we are a)le to harmoni;e our more conscious e!!orts with health&, natural processes within our )odies, the ph&siological response that takes place ma& then improe thecondition.

Positive Feedback and the ;%elf*Fulfilling Prophecy<

?icious circles are sometimes called 7positie !eed)ack loops8 not )ecause the outcome !or uson a personal leel is positie or en=o&a)le, )ut )ecause the response o! the s&stem is to create more o!

the same rather than to interrupt the circle. 'n other words, the& are positie only insofar as theymaintain the cycle thats )een esta)lished. These loops, un!ortunatel&, are er& common reactions in awide ariet& o! situations. When the& occur, the& tend not onl& to exacer)ate the d&s!unctionalcondition, )ut the& )lock our a)ilit& to deelop a healthier response. Although this is perhaps easiest tosee in the case o! the painOspasm c&cle, it is also a ma=or !actor in a ariet& o! ph&sical, emotional,mental, and social conditions. The more mental, emotional, or ph&sical distress we hae, the less weare a)le to complete all the tasks re5uired o! us, and the more tense we )ecome, resulting in an increaseo! the distress. The !ear o! giing a poor speech or presentation creates so much inner turmoil that een though



we ma& actuall& )e a)le to per!orm excellentl&, that a)ilit& eludes us. A sel!/!ul!illing prophec& occurs: Q + man who has experienced a series of devastating losses feels helpless. "his# in turn#depresses his immune system# and he becomes susceptible to infection. Q +nxiety about driving on the freeway leads to physical tension and abrupt actions thatactually produce an unsafe driver. Q "he child who is severely scolded for doing poorly on a test feels even more inadeuate4 the

failure is reinforced# and future failure is assured. 'n such situations as these, deep relaxation can help )ring )alance and healing to the mind/)od&complex. 8oing Further with eep .ela0ation

"an& people tend to think o! deep relaxation and meditation as i! these processes inoledleaing a 7normal8 state o! mind and entering an unnatural one. "& )elie!, )ased on man& &ears o!clinical experience with thousands o! patients, is that entering deep relaxation is actuall& a kind o!remem)ering, a returning home, in which we enter a more natural state, one that is )alanced andhealth& !or the organism as a whole. -ranted, it ma& !eel 5uite di!!erent !rom the stressed/out state wehae )ecome more !amiliar with. But deep relaxation is completel& normal and health&, perhaps themost normal mind/)od& state we can experience. 'magine seeing stars in a clear night sk& !or the !irst time and mareling at the )eaut& andma=est& o! the "ilk& Wa& against the )lackness o! space. $ow, imagine &our disma& upon looking upthe next morning and !inding no trace o! these sparkling =ewels in the cloudless )lue sk& a)oe. *et, inspite o! what &our senses tell &ou, &ou know the stars are still there. 't is =ust that at this moment their!aint light is oerpowered )& the )rilliance o! the sun.

“When it is dar$ enough# you can see the stars# and when it is uiet enough# you can hear the faintest sound.”

# E. "iller

%imilarl&, within each person there is a still point, a 5uiet center that is alwa&s present, eenthough we dont alwa&s experience it. Because o! what we hae )een trained to )eliee#the tasks wethink we should )e doing, our !ears a)out what might happen next, our o)sessions and our compulsions #we !ind our appreciation o! our gentle, peace!ul, loing nature oerwhelmed, and this 5uiet placewithin us )ecomes as inisi)le as the stars at noon.

8od 8ames

"he gods and goddesses of ancient reece# I am told# once gathered on %ount @lympus to playone of their favorite games Hide the "ruth from Human$ind.” “8et(s hide it at the bottom of the ocean#” cried one. “No# he(ll eventually build submarines and find it.” “How about up on the moon!” suggested another. “No# he is too ingenious for that. He(ll eventually get there# too.” 'inally# the most mischievous of the gods# the one represented in humorous drawings as thelittle angel whose halo is always somewhat as$ance# spo$e up. “I(ve got a great idea. 8et(s hide it deep inside of him. He(ll never thin$ to loo$ there.”



' am told that there was great re=oicing on "ount +l&mpus that da& !or the& reali;ed that, ashuman ciili;ation grew more and more complex, the resulting stresses would generate a state o! mindso distracted that !ew would eer perceie the su)tle nature o! truth within. +ur response to the constant pressure, the incessant demands, and the continual threats o! theexternal enironment can produce chronic stress and an ha)itual 7!ight/or/!light8 state#mental h&per/

alertness and persistent muscular tension. +ur nerous s&stems interpret current social pressures as i!the& are immediate threats to our surial. +ur )odies, emotions, and thoughts are reacting as the&were )iologicall& programmed to do wa& )ack when we lied in caes and in trees. 'nternall&, ourentire s&stem is doing its er& )est to sere us, een though its oerall e!!orts can hae a negatieimpact on our health. "he Most asic "ruth

+nce ' help m& patient to see that the exaggerated degree o! tension is harm!ul andinappropriate, ' then introduce her to a most pro!ound and su)tle, &et enormousl& power!ul truth:7(ight now, take a moment and )ecome aware o! the !act that at this moment in time there is no other place that &ou need to go and nothing &ou need to do. There is no pro)lem &ou need to sole.

There!ore, &ou can gie &oursel! permission to relax.8 Actuall&, relaxation is not a)out something we do4 it is a)out something we don(t do. 't is whatis le!t oer when we allow ourseles to stop doing what we dont reall& need to )e doing in the !irst place. Like the stars in the sk&, the relaxation state is alwa&s there. When we think or !eel we are indanger or )eliee we hae to respond to some demand, an inner pressure to per!orm arises within us.The tension o! our )odies, the anxiet& o! our emotions, the o)sessie racing o! our minds, are all !utileattempts to do# which onl& increases the strength o! the icious circle. The moment &ou accept this new truth, that right now, in this moment, there is 7nowhere to go,nothing to do, and no pro)lem to sole,8 &ou )egin to discoer a new wa& to deal with the m&riadthoughts that come along, un)idden, !rom &our preprogrammed unconscious minds. %uddenl&, ratherthan )eing at the merc& o! the unconscious, &ou reali;e &ou hae permission to identi!& and )ring to

consciousness those thoughts that are telling &ou that 7eer&thing is not oka&,8 or 7&ou had )etter sta&igilant and on guard,8 or 7there is something else &ou should or could )e doing at this instant.8 Armed with this conscious awareness, &ou can now interrupt the icious circle created )& the positie !eed)ack loop. +nce silenced, these thoughts can no longer gather momentum and recruit other unsupportie thoughts and images. 'n this wa&, &ou preent them !rom ripening into the usual stress/enhancing !actors the& had )ecome in &our li!e. As this c&cle is interrupted and &ou do less, relaxationalmost magicall& appears. Like the !irst stars at dusk, the still point within, that peace!ul place thatexists deep within &our )eing slowl& comes into !ocus and &ou graduall& slip into that com!orta)lestate we call relaxation.

“"here is nothing but you# nothing different from you# nothing to attain other than you# nothing that can be ta$en from you. "hat is all you need to understand. "here is nothing to $now other than

that.”

#Ba)a "uktananda



.ela0ation and %tress

“0tress is “the nonspecific response of the body to any demand.” It is manifested first by analarm reaction# followed by a stage of resistance during which increased defenses to the stressor occur# and finally a stage of exhaustion resulting in disease or death. "his is called “the eneral

+daptation 0yndrome.”

# Hans %el&e

%tress is, )& de!inition, a generali;ed, internal, nonspecific reaction o! our s&stem to a perceieddemand. There!ore, we can look upon relaxation, and especiall& deep relaxation, as the speci!icantidote to stress. When we are !eeling stressed out, or are in a state o! stress oerload, we are reacting mentall&,emotionall&, and ph&sicall& as though there was an immediate de!ensie solution to a threat or ademand we perceie. 'n man& cases, it turns out that there actuall& is no threat or demand. And een in

those cases in which there is a legitimate demand, the success!ul response is much more likel& to )e acreatie one, such as deeloping a new plan, writing a new speech, or organi;ing a meeting or a dinner part&. 'n an& case, what is not needed is a de!ensie !ight/or/!light response such as punching someonein the nose, hiding out in the sewers o! $ew *ork it&, or =oining a )and o! armed re)els in the )ackwoods o! "ontana. During the stress response, our entire s&stem is primed to act in some ph&sicalwa&, )ut it cannot )ecause a decisie ph&sical response o! that magnitude would )e a sociall&inappropriate one. The result is a chronic state o! ph&sical and emotional tension, !rom which arise soman& diseases and disorders.

“I(m an old man and have $nown a great many troubles# most of which never happened.”

# "ark Twain

The immediate )ene!its o! een a single deep relaxation experience is a dramatic lowering o!our perception o! stress. Along with this comes a sense o! com!ort and wholeness, a clarit& o! mind, asthough anno&ing thoughts hae drained awa&. +ur o)sessions and compulsions diminish4 our )lood pressure lowers, muscles relax in our head and gut, and we experience increased !eelings o! warmthand serenit&.

Finding a ure "hat 2asts

"ost o! m& patients, when ' !irst guide them into the deepl& relaxed state, tell me that the& haeneer )e!ore !elt so calm, so sa!e, so sel!/con!ident. '! the& could =ust keep those !eelings with themwhen the& le!t m& o!!ice The pro)lem, o! course, is that we cannot remain in the deepl& relaxed statecontinuousl&. ' can introduce people to this wonder!ul experience, )ut the moment the& walk out o! m& o!!icethere ma& )e little in their usual enironment to rein!orce the notion that the& are sa!e, that there isnowhere to go. 'n !act, the signals the& are t&picall& exposed to rein!orce the perception that there are



alwa&s places the& need to go, things the& =ust must do, people the& need to see, and schedules to keep.The& )etter get there on time...or else This was the pro)lem that con!ronted me in the earl& C9s. 't was too costl& in terms o! )othtime and mone& !or people to come )ack !or repeat o!!ice isits seeral times a week, &et onl& )&continuall& entering this state can &ou learn the )asic process and appl& it at will. Although ' exhorted people to practice these deep relaxation exercises at home, man& !ound entering this state o! mind so

di!!erent !rom all the other actiities o! their stress/packed da&s that the& o!ten couldnt !ollow m&adice. Although ' printed up handouts with the instructions !or entering the deepl& relaxed states, itwas di!!icult to !ollow the instructions and surrender to the relaxed state at the same time. Without m&oice and the sense o! another presence within the room, most people 5uickl& dri!ted o!! to their usualmode o! thinking and worr&ing. "he Magic of the &udiocassette

't was at a)out this time that a most wonder!ul tool was )orn into m& practice, theaudiocassette. Prior to its inention, ' had made reel/to/reel recordings !or some o! m& patients, )utthese were )ulk&, clums&, and !ew people owned these rather expensie pla&)ack units. The cassetterecorder opened a whole new world. 't was small, porta)le, and sel!/contained. There was no tape tothread. 't ran on )atteries and could een )e listened to in the car, which !or some people represents theonl& time the& are reall& alone. ' soon made it a re5uirement that each o! m& patients purchase a small, porta)le cassette pla&er. $ow it would )e possi)le !or them to practice this new skill o! letting go one, two, or een three timesa da&. -raduall&, the relaxation )egan to spill oer !rom their practice sessions into eer&da& li!e. The& )egan to reali;e that at almost an& point during their da&, wheneer the& )egan to !eel tension oranxiet& creeping in, the& could stop and =ust mentall& repeat to themseles the words, 7There isnowhere ' hae to go...8 The& would )ecome percepti)l& more peace!ul and calm. -raduall& theirdeeper minds )egan to reali;e that !ew o! the challenges in their current/da& lies re5uired either ph&sical !ight or !light. As a result, the& were ph&sicall& more relaxed and had more energ& to appl& inthe wa&s the& reall& wanted. As these people approached li!e more calml& and rationall&, the& discoered that the& weremaking )etter choices and were )etter a)le to resole the pro)lems that had )een triggering theirtension and anxiet&. -raduall&, a positie !eed)ack loop was )eing deeloped in the other direction: airtuous circle. As health pro!essionals saw these dramatic changes in their patients and clients, the& )ecamemore interested in the relaxation approach. ' )egan to proide tapes !or other ph&sicians and therapists!or use )& their patients and clients. B& allowing m&sel! to enter a er& relaxed and centered stateduring the recording o! these tapes, ' was a)le to achiee a tone and tim)re that was as e!!ectie attransmitting the !eeling o! relaxation as the poetr& o! the words themseles. To !urther enhance theimager&, ' woe it into a )ackground o! speciall& composed music and nature sounds. B& the latter part o! the C9s, the tapes were )eing distri)uted nationall&, and the& were )eingmade aaila)le at hospitals, in health maintenance organi;ations, and at local )ookstores throughout thecountr&. urrentl& there are a)out J di!!erent cassette programs aaila)le that emplo& arioustechni5ues o! relaxation and imager&. 'n addition to their use as guides !or sel!/healing, the& are widel&used as training tapes )& health pro!essionals learning these approaches, and the& proide excellentmodels !or creating &our own sel!/healing imager&.

“"hings are not always what they seem4 s$im mil$ oft masuerades as cream.”




+er the past two decades, man& other guided imager& cassettes hae )een pu)lished, some o!excellent 5ualit&. "ost, howeer, are poorl& made, ine!!ectie, and irritating. ' mention this )ecause '

hae )een saddened to hear a)out the man& people who, a!ter )eing exposed to these shodd& attempts,hae concluded that deep relaxation and imager& hae nothing to o!!er them. The& o!ten change theirmind when the& experience a well/designed and a)l& per!ormed tape, or )etter still, the personalguidance o! a skilled practitioner in an indiidual appointment. omparing .ela0ation "echniDues

%el!/h&pnosis, meditation, deep relaxation, guided imager&, autogenic training, )io!eed)ack,and pra&er are all er& similar in one important respect: the& all inole the intentional guidance o! thethoughts and images within &our consciousness according to speci!ic patterns @7selectie awareness8.%uch guidance is o!ten called 7suggestion.8 %uggestion inoles o!!ering someone an option that the&ma& or ma& not choose to !ollow. The suggestion ma& )e to think a certain wa&, to isuali;e a certain

image, to repeat certain words @as in pra&er, to hae the )od& per!orm a certain )ehaior, and so on. Asuggestion is not an order or a command. We usuall& think o! suggestion as images o!!ered throughwords, although there are numerous power!ul noner)al techni5ues, also. -enerall&, in each o! these approaches a person !ollows not one )ut a series o! suggestions.These suggestions are chosen according to a certain algorithm#which &oull recall is a !anc& wa& o!sa&ing 7s&stem8 or 7pattern.8 +lgorithm is a good concept to remem)er, howeer, when were thinkinga)out how these methods work. The goal o! this series o! suggestions is a certain kind o! ps&chological, ph&sical, or spiritual state. 'n e!!ect, the series o! suggestions entrains the mind and )od&, leading to achange in the state o! consciousness. #ntrainment

+ne !ascinating and important !eature scientists hae discoered a)out s&stems is that the& tendto entrain. When a particular s&stem moes or changes according to a regular, rh&thmic pattern, othersimilar s&stems near)& will tend to echo, re!lect, or imitate that rh&thm. 'n time, interrelated s&stemscan )egin working in concert, producing a larger e!!ect not unlike what happens when ariousmusicians get together to per!orm in concert. When the clock maker winds a set o! pendulum clocks and sets them in his window, )& the endo! the da& all o! the pendula will )e !ound to )e moing in phase with one other. Analogousl&, groupso! &oung women liing together o!ten !ind their menstrual c&cles tend to occur in phase with eachother. The )odies o! two good !riends haing a chat at a co!!ee shop )egin to resem)le a dance, soidenticall& do the& re!lect each other in their moements#leaning !orward at the same time, throwingthe head )ack and laughing at the same time, nodding, sipping co!!ee and moing their hands. 't

!ollows that when one s&stem is more regular and predicta)le in its pattern than is another, the one thatis less regular and predicta)le will tend to )e entrained to it. +ur total s&stem possesses man& s&stems nested within it, working together in a more or lesss&nchronous wa&. *ou hae undou)tedl& noticed how &our !oot )egins to tap in time with a catch&rh&thm &ou are hearing, and how the o)=ect o! &our romantic loe or the words o! a song can entraineen &our conscious mind: 7<ust like the strain o! a haunting re!rain, shell start upon a marathon andrun around &our )rain.8 When one part o! &our )rain puts !orth a strong, regular wae !orm, other parts within &our totals&stem will tend to entrain with it. When &ou listen to a relaxation tape, or otherwise guide &oursel!



into deep relaxation, &our mind is entrained to the imager& and 5ualities o! the tapes suggestions.-raduall&, oer a short period o! time, more and more o! &our )rain, &our nerous s&stem, and &our )od& as a whole will entrain to this pattern. (egardless o! which techni5ue &ou use, the initial suggestions proide a regular rh&thmdesigned to coax &our conscious attention awa& !rom its usual distractions. These ma& )e explicit, aswith the suggestion that theres nowhere &ou hae to go, nothing &ou hae to do. +r the& ma& )e

implicit, as might happen to &our mental !ocus i! &ou walked into the silence o! a cathedral illuminatedonl& )& the sunlight emanating through )eauti!ul stained glass windows, the air pungent with incense. Meditation

"editation, strictl& speaking, re!ers to the empt&ing o! the mind o! all distraction so as to )emore completel& in the 7here and now.8 We o!ten use the terms meditation and contemplationinterchangea)l&, een though the two are 5uite di!!erent. ontemplation is di!!erent !rom meditation inthat when were contemplating, we are !ocused on a speci!ic image, pro)lem, or issue4 when weremeditating, were empt&ing our minds o! pro)lems or issues. To contemplate is to !ocus without theimmediate goal o! doing an&thing a)out the issue thats on our mind. "editating, )& contrast, is thenonaction o! !ocusing on nothing or emptiness. "editation and deep relaxation o!!er wa&s o! accepting each thought, each experience, each!eeling, and each eent as it occurs, !ree o! the need to do an&thing or change an&thing. The result isthat we lie more in the present moment, in the now# rather than )eing separated !rom it )& ourthoughts, plans, ealuations, anal&ses, comparisons, and calculations. %uch an attitude leads to peace,relaxation, and a sense o! harmon&. $ew awarenesses occur as we )egin to see and perceie things thatwere inisi)le to us when we were so )us& 5uestioning and calculating. 'n man& wa&s, the !orm o! deep relaxation techni5ue ' generall& use is similar @)ut notidentical to that which is taught as 7"ind!ulness "editation8 and 7?ipassana "editation.8 Based onBuddhist principles, these !orms o! meditation inole simpl& sitting and o)sering the )reath, neitherengaging with nor disengaging !rom the thoughts that come along. Depried o! our actie participation,these thoughts tend to slow down, and a deep inner sense o! tran5uilit& soon !ollows. & /uick omparison of Methods

We can sa& that the ma=or di!!erences )etween arious techni5ues such as meditation,contemplation, pra&er, h&pnosis, and deep relaxation are: 6. "he specific state desired and the ualities of that desired state4

7. "he goal of going to that state of mind4 and9. "he beliefs about what will happen when we reach that state of mind.

Deep relaxation, !or instance, has as its goal the reduction o! tension in the )od&, the relie! o!stress and anxiet&, and the creation o! a peace!ul, receptie, !ocused !rame o! mind. Pra&er generall&has as its goal a deeper appreciation o! and communication with a higher power than ourseles."editation ma& aim toward 7oneness with the unierse.8 The aim o! h&pnosis is to create a state o!mind that is highl& receptie to whateer suggestion is gien. The goal ma& )e a mental, ph&siological, )ehaioral, or emotional change. H&pnosis also o!!ers adantages !or the health pro!essional since ithas )een extensiel& inestigated in scienti!ic settings and is a widel& accepted therapeutic tool. %elective &wareness

Whether &ou meditate, contemplate, pra&, relax, or use an& other method to produce the deepl&relaxed, open state o! mind, the& all hae one thing in common: selectie awareness. ' use this term tomake it easier to discuss the ke& aspect o! most deep relaxation approaches. %electie awareness simpl&means that we are consciousl& selecting what we )ring into our consciousness4 it is the awareness thatwe can !ocus our attention @awareness at will. We can choose what we want to allow into our



consciousness and what we want to !ilter out. 1se whicheer approach to the deepl& relaxed state works )est !or &ou, remem)ering that the primar& outcome &ou are seeking is a state o! pro!ound ph&sical stillness, mental 5uietude, emotional peace, a sense o! wholeness, a complete lack o! pressure, and an inner 5ualit& o! lightness and !reedom.'n this deepl& relaxed state, &our mind is open and receptie to positie imager&, a!!irmations, andhealing suggestions.

Finding a 8uide

't can )e alua)le to work with an experienced health pro!essional who can gie &ou !eed)ackand let &ou know when &ou hae reached optimal leels o! relaxation. "an& practitioners will record&our priate session on a tape recorder, proiding a cassette that &ou can pla& at home. *ou might alsowish to purchase a pro!essionall& prepared cassette, proiding &ou with exactl& the guidance &oure5uire. 0or others, it is )est to work in a group setting with a 5uali!ied health pro!essional as a guide. "eachings of the uddha

Buddhism proides wonder!ul teachings !or an&one wishing to deelop more techni5ues and a philosoph& o! li!e that supports what wee )een discussing a)out deep relaxation. +ne does not haeto approach Buddhism as a religion to )ene!it !rom these teachings. The essence o! Buddhist teachings has )een summed up in the !ollowing:

“Nothing is worth holding to# if you let go of everything# ob,ects# concepts# teachers# =uddha# self# senses# memories# life# death# freedom?let go and all suffering will cease. "he world will appear

in its pristine self2existing nature# and you(ll experience the freedom of the =uddha.”

#<ack 2orn!eld

' was !irst introduced to Buddhism a)out &ears ago. At !irst ' was a )it shocked anddisillusioned. 0or &ears ' thought ' had come to a completel& new philosoph& o! li!e as a result o! m&work. $ow here, in the person o! the Buddha, was someone who had come to man& o! the sameconclusions concerning the nature o! li!e and how to lie it. "oreoer, he had done it without a medicaldegree and man& centuries )e!ore m& grand!ather was )orn, at that As ' learned more a)out what theBuddha had said, howeer, m& disappointment eased. ' learned that 7Buddha8 comes !rom the %anskrit word, =uddha# which means 7to enlighten.8This root also gies us the English word bud. Buddha, there!ore, re!ers to one who is enlightened. There is not one Buddha, )ut many @as the name o! the !amous 7Temple o! the Ten ThousandBuddhas8 suggests. 'n !act, when an& one o! us, like the )ud, opens to allow in the light that is alread&

there @a!ter all, the )ud does not invent the sunshine, it onl& discovers it )& opening to what is so, we )ecome Buddha The Buddhist does not worship a particular deit& or person. 'n !act, it ma& )e incorrect to callBuddhism a religion at all. "ore than an&thing else, it seems to )e a kind o! acknowledgment. Hainghad m& !ill with prosel&ti;ing religions earl& in m& li!e, ' was 5uite pleased to read how the Buddhaso!ten chided !ollowers who thought that imitation and reerence were what was re5uired. The Buddhacould er& well hae originated sa&ings such as the !ollowing, which are !amiliar to most students o!this discipline: 7Please do not take m& word !or it. Tr& these ideas out and keep onl& those that &ou !indto )e true !or &ou in &our experience.8 +r, 7'! &ou meet the Buddha on the road, kill him8



practice and awareness, &oull discoer more and more a)out the 5ualit& o! the tension &ou hold, aswell as where &ou hold it. As &ou )ecome increasingl& aware o! &our tension patterns, ask &oursel! i! there is an&correlation )etween where &our tension occurs and an& health pro)lems &ou ma& )e haing. 0orexample, &ou might )e a person who su!!ers !rom carpal tunnel s&ndrome4 people who hae this kindo! pain o!ten carr& tension in their necks, shoulders and arms. Likewise, i! &ou hae headaches,

consider the possi)ilit& that the& ma& )e linked to tense muscles in &our neck and )ack. '! &ou haetension in &our stomach, do &ou also hae pro)lems with indigestionM 2eep an open mind, and !reel&explore the associations )etween an& health issues &ou hae and the areas where &ou carr& tension. 0; Tr& to )ecome more aware o! an& icious circles @positie !eed)ack loops that ampli!&undesira)le )ehaiors or !eelings that ma& )e working in &our li!e or in the lies o! those around &ou.0or example, earlier in this chapter ' gae the example o! the man with a tendenc& toward spasticcolitis. He was so !ear!ul o! haing an attack in the middle o! a )usiness meeting or when going out to amoie, that the tension he !elt actuall& triggered such attacks. %imilarl&, the !ear a person !eels whenhaing an asthma attack causes the kind o! tension that initiates its onset. 't is onl& through deeprelaxation and deep healing techni5ues that we can interrupt this circle and trans!orm the icious c&cleinto a irtuous one. 3; "ake a list o! those deeper truths and wise reali;ations that would enrich &our li!e i! &ou keptthem more consciousl& aaila)le. 0or example, ma&)e the stor& a)out the gods o! +l&mpus hiding thetruth deep inside humans is a reminder to &ou that true healing and change can occur onl& )& lookingwithin. Tr& to keep stories like this !resh in &our mind. Write the lessons the& teach as a!!irmations. 0or example, 7' !ind the truth ' seek as ' look within.8 Put these where &ou can regularl& see them@)athroom mirror, re!rigerator door, or on &our desk at work, and start appl&ing them in &our li!e. 4; "ake note o! an& situations in &our li!e where &ou !eel a great deal o! tension, so muchtension that &ou know it is a!!ecting how &ou per!orm. 0or example, &ou might )e a person who has togie regular presentations to large groups as part o! &our work. Eer& time &ou are !aced with thisresponsi)ilit&, &our whole )od& tenses up, &our )reathing )ecomes shallow, and &our hands trem)le.*ou know &our per!ormance under these circumstances would )e greatl& improed i! &ou werent sotense. Look at this situation care!ull&. %ee it as clearl& as &ou possi)l& can. Then ask &oursel! i! thea)ilit& to relax deepl& at will wouldnt astl& enrich &our li!e in this area. Then deelop a plan !orlearning to induce deep relaxation. 0or instance, a person with whom ' worked su!!ered greatl& eer&time she had to gie a presentation. %he learned to relax deepl& an hour or more )e!ore scheduled presentations. During her periods o! relaxation, she would picture hersel! up in !ront o! the crowd )eingexpressie, en=o&ing hersel!, and haing all the in!ormation re5uired to answer an& 5uestion that arose.'n the )eginning, she practiced the exercise dail&, een on those da&s when she had no presentation togie. Then, on the da&s when she was going to gie a presentation, it was eas& !or her to slip into therelaxed and positie state where she per!ormed her )est. 5; There are man& di!!erent programs aaila)le these da&s !or deeloping greater sel!/awarenessand sel!/master&, !or ph&sical health, !or success in a =o) or career, !or more satis!&ing personalrelationships, or !or the deelopment o! our spiritual side. *ou ma& alread& )e aware o! some o! these.'! not, simpl& open &our mind to the !act that the& are out there. *ou might !ind the kind o! in!ormation&ou want as &ou )rowse the sel!/help or spiritual section o! &our local )ookstore. *ou might know a!riend who is in such a program. Perhaps such programs are o!!ered through a church or communit&organi;ation to which &ou )elong. 'n an& case, keep &our e&es open !or di!!erent kinds o! relaxation,meditation, or regular spiritual guidance that &ou would like to explore !urther. eep .ela0ation42etting 8o of %tress

The !ollowing is taken !rom m& cassette program 8etting o of 0tress @see (esources section.The process ' descri)e here reliees stress )& )reaking the icious circle o! painOtension. This is



accomplished )& deli)eratel& tensing and then relaxing arious muscles, or groups o! muscles, one at atime. The idea is that &ou tense a muscle, )ecome aware o! exactl& how the tension !eels, and thenrelax that same muscle and )ecome aware o! how the relaxation !eels. 'n the process, &ou learn to )etter discern )etween relaxation and tension. 'n doing so, &ou )ecome increasingl& skill!ul at )einga)le to relax at will, een when &ou are in highl& pressured situations.

A!ter this general training, &ou !ocus on deepening the degree o! relaxation in speci!ic muscles.0ollowing this, &ou extend &our awareness and skills )& super/relaxing the muscles o! one hand andarm. Then &ou learn to trans!er this super/relaxed state to an& part o! the )od& &ou wish#neck,stomach, =aw, )lood essels, or an& other area &ou ma& choose. This techni5ue o! directing relaxation to speci!ic organs and organ s&stems allows us to healirtuall& an& area o! the )od&. 'n the (esources section in the )ack o! the )ook, &oull !ind cassette programs to help &ou in a ariet& o! wa&s. "o egin>>>

'ind a position that is relaxing for you# preferably sitting or lying bac$ with your arms and legscomfortably supported. )0ome people find it helpful to ta$e a warm bath before carrying out thisexercise. In this way# you may be more aware of the degree of tension or relaxation in your muscles.* =egin by becoming aware of the fact that there is no other place you need to go at the moment#nothing else that you need to be doing. "a$e a deep breath in and as you let it out# let your eyelidsclose . . . and as they close# very slowly repeat to yourself the word “relax.” Imagine you are in your ideal place# the place where you feel safe# perfectly calm# and at peace. "his is the place of peace that you have previously explored in /hapters "hree and 'our. +llow yourself to begin experiencing all the feelings that you associate with this place. &llow 3ourself to Focus>>>

'ocus your awareness on your right hand. 0lowly ma$e a fist# and as you gradually clench it#let yourself feel exactly how that tension feels. Bou may wish to imagine that your awareness is li$e a spotlight# and you are focusing that light on your right hand and arm. 'or this moment# it is as though you can let everything disappear completely from your awareness in this one area of your body. Nowtense that area. Hold that tension for about five seconds# and let yourself feel its ualities. Does it feel hard or soft# cool or warm# sensitive or numb# dar$ or light# heavy or light# tight or loose# large or small#comfortable or uncomfortable!

Now# over a period of five to ten seconds# let it very gradually relax# feeling every nuance of therelaxation process until your hand feels totally limp and loose# li$e overcoo$ed spaghetti or acompletely deflated balloon. Now ta$e five or ten seconds and really appreciate the ualities of themost relaxed state you can allow your right hand to be in at this moment. 8et go of all awarenessexcept the awareness of this relaxed state. Bou need not “try” to relax more. ust let go of all criticalthoughts. 8et all your attention be on the purely positive aspects of what you are experiencing now. Now# repeat this same process with your left hand# being sure to feel each phase?the tensing#the holding of the tension# and the comfortable feelings that follow as you more and more deeply relax. I suggest that you ta$e five or ten seconds for each of these phases# but feel free to experimentwith different periods of time. $ow repeat this same process !or all the other muscle groups. 1se this tense/slow/relaxtechni5ue with the !ollowing muscle groups in the !ollowing order: 6. <ight forearm# left forearm. 7. <ight shoulder# left shoulder. 9. <ight foot and calf# left foot and calf.



:. <ight thigh# left thigh. M. +bdominal muscles and bac$ muscles While sitting upright# tense up your stomach musclesand your bac$ muscles simultaneously# as you would when you are preparing to get up from a chair.)o gently on this part if there is any sensitivity of your bac$.* L. =uttoc$s and pelvic muscles ently tense up your buttoc$ muscles and any other muscles in your pelvic area that you can get in touch with. Hold them tense for a moment. "a$e a moment to

experience how this feels# and now relax them# allowing yourself to experience this relaxed state aswell. K. /hest muscles "ense your shoulder muscles by drawing them up toward your ears. "hen let your shoulders gently drop as you relax them. J. Nec$ muscles 8et your chin drop slowly to your chest and allow it to rest there for amoment. "hen roc$ your head slowly bac$# and allow it to rest there for a moment. . /lench your ,aw and let it relax. 6G. "ense the muscles in your face. 8et them go. 66. /lench your eyelids tightly. 'eel the tension. Now release those muscles and feel therelaxation. @pen your eyes wide# feeling the tension in the muscles around your eyelids and perhaps your forehead. Hold your eyes open# then allow them to close by ,ust releasing then. 'eel therelaxation in your eyelids as they close...gently sealing them shut for a moment. +s you loo$ into the comfortable dar$ness behind your closed eyelids# imagine the word relax #or some other word or symbol that can serve as your own personal symbol of relaxation. +s you let your eyes roll gently upward behind your closed eyelids# your eyelids may flutter a little bit at first. Bouwill notice that they uic$ly become so relaxed they don(t want to open at all. When you feel that feeling in your eyelids# gently test them and notice how they resist being opened. +nd as you do this# send the relaxation flowing from your eyelids throughout all the rest of your body# all the way down tothe palms of your hands and the soles of your feet. +ny time any unnecessary thoughts come along# simply imagine that you breathe those thoughtsou with your next breath# then replace them with cool air and relaxation. Now select one hand# which you will use as a model of tensing and relaxation# and let the spotlight of your awareness fall upon that hand. Imagine that there is a person in the bac$ground counting from one to five. +s she starts tocount# let your hand slowly begin to form a fist. "ry to form a fist so slowly that you can feel in detaileach of the sensations involved as the muscles tighten. Eery slowly tighten it over the period of about aminute# slowly yet continuously tightening. +s you(re doing this# you may bring to mind any other muscle or groups of muscles in yourbody that have been tense. "hen use your imagination to superimpose your hand on these targetmuscles. When you hand has reached maximum tension# $eeping every other muscle of your body ascompletely relaxed as you can# focus the spotlight of your awareness on this extreme tension in thehand. <ecogni-e how similar this feels to tension you(ve felt in other areas of your body. %entally superimpose your hand over this part of your body# and# as you slowly relax this hand over a period of7G or 9G seconds# imagine that you are also releasing the grip on this other part of your body. +fter this hand has become completely relaxed# allow ten seconds to pass to appreciate thelevel of comfort# tranuility# and peace the hand is now experiencing. @nce again# gently test youreyelids and as you do# send the relaxation from your eyelids flowing through your body down to thishand# and feel it relax even more deeply. Next# allow a minute or so for the other muscles of your body to imitate the feeling in yourhand# increasing their relaxation as well. 'inally# thin$ about how your life will be different after you have completely learned how torelax tense muscles at will. +gain# visuali-e yourself loo$ing and feeling the way you(d li$e to feel in a



place you(d li$e to be# doing exactly what you(d li$e to be doing. =ring in all the details of your idealimage# and add to them the positive results of your having learned so well how to interrupt tension and spasm and produce relaxation in your muscles. +s you step into this scene# allow yourself to feel theincreased comfort# freedom of movement# and inner strength. When you(re ready# gradually guide yourself bac$ to an awareness of your present physical surroundings# remembering to always say to yourself# as you come bac$# “+s I reawa$en# I come bac$

feeling refreshed# alert# wide2awa$e# and ready to go on to my next activity.” +! course, &ou can )ring )ack as much o! the calm inner energ& as &ou wish, then goimmediatel& to whateer &ou !eel &ou now need to do in &our eer&da& li!e. The imager& &ou hae planted within, like a seed, will continue to grow. 't will soon )ear the !ruits that &ou seek.

HAPTE( $'$E FITNESS T(AININ# FO(

+O)( $ENTAL

$)SCLES,

"EE& (ELA'ATION

AN" I$A#E(+

“What the inner voice says will not disappoint the hoping soul.”

# <ohann hristoph 0riedrich on %chiller

eveloping a Mental Muscle

<ust as &ou can train &our )od& and nerous s&stem to speak another language, sing a new song,or dance a new dance, &ou can train &oursel! to relax at will. 't is reall& no great m&ster&. The worldhas trained &ou to )e tense4 &ou can retrain &oursel! to relax. Think o! it as deeloping a 7mentalmuscle8 that &ou can use to eliminate excess anxiet&, !ear, or tension that &ou ma& experience as areaction to an& eent. Dont worr& that such training is going to cause &ou to !eel so relaxed that &oulldo something !oolish, such as l&ing down in the middle o! the !reewa& or !alling asleep in an importantmeeting. 'n such cases, a state o! caution is appropriate, and &our mind/)od& will keep &ou alerted tothe need !or that igilant state. Deep relaxation can also so!ten the edges o! anger, sadness, resentment, and other emotions.Although we dont o!ten think o! them that wa&, emotions are actuall& behaviors. "ost o! us !eelhelpless in the !ace o! our emotions. We perceie our !eelings as )eing determined )& eents happeningoutside us. We !ind it extremel& di!!icult to grasp the !act that our emotions are separate !rom theeents that trigger them. We express this in phrases such as the !ollowing: 7He made me angr&84 7'wanted to do it )ut it was ,ust too scary84 and 7When ' heard <oe wasnt going to )e with us, I was tooupset to have a good time.8 Emotions are most assuredl& a part o! )eing human, and as such the& areappropriate and alua)le. But when the& preent us !rom doing something we reall& want or need todo, the& are simpl& excess )aggage4 its then that we can turn to deep relaxation to manage theminstead o! haing them manage us. *ou can, !or example, use deep relaxation to inhi)it anger )& centering, !ocusing on relaxingthe muscles o! &our )od&, and then empt&ing &our mind o! an& thoughts or images related to thesituation that is triggering &our emotional reaction. *ou can minimi;e &our leel o! sadness )& relaxing



and isuali;ing &oursel! releasing whateer it is &ou need to let go o! to complete the grieing process. Deep relaxation also seres admira)l& !or inhi)iting unwanted )ehaior patterns and changingthem. What we call 7)ad ha)its8 are !undamentall& avoidance )ehaiors, which originall& deeloped aswa&s !or us to decrease the leel o! stress in the nerous s&stem. 0or example, we ma& talk too muchwhen we !eel uneas& in a social situation, or we ma& im)i)e alcoholic )eerages to reduce our anxiet&.We )ecome !ixed on the idea that certain situations, such as )eing interiewed )& a new emplo&er, are

alwa&s going to )e threatening. 0or the most part, these are conditioned responses such as those thatcaused Palos dog to !lee the )ell that had preiousl& )een associated with an electrical shock.%omewhere in our minds wee created this pattern o! thinking that eer& time we hear the 7)ell8#asocial situation, a con!lict with a loed one, or a =o) interiew# were going to )e humiliated, punished, re=ected, or experience some sort o! unpleasantness. But, as human )eings, we hae an important adantage oer Dr. Palos dog. We can )econsciousl& aware that the thought or image we are aoiding is =ust a )ell and not a genuine danger. Wedont hae to go on 7automatic pilot8 and start =a))ering mindlessl& awa& eer& time we get into asocial situation. And we dont hae to get drunk eer& night )e!ore a =o) interiew, )ecause i! we allowourseles to open up a )it, we ma& discoer that the& can go 5uite well. This capacit& !or )eingconscious o! our patterns also gies us the extraordinar& a)ilit& to choose to relax deepl&, inhi)it the!ear and tension, and there)& eliminate the need !or this aoidance )ehaior. The ke& to taking control o! )um)ling or destructie )ehaiors in our lies is to enter a state o!deep relaxation. This immediatel& so!tens or inhi)its the unwanted re!lex o! the nerousness or painthat usuall& triggers the )ehaior we dislike. Deep relaxation also sets the stage !or us to create mentalimages to literall& unhook ourseles !rom old )ehaior patterns. 'ts important to remind ourseles thatthese old )ehaior patterns were originall& taken on with all o! the )est intentions#to aoidthreatening situations. $o matter what the original intention, howeer, we now reali;e that these patterns are causing more pro)lems than the& are soling. +therwise, wh& would we een considerchanging themM 'nstead o! taking a drink to !eel more com!orta)le @an earl& learned )ehaior that ma& now )ecausing us pro)lems, we can relax and transport ourseles to a peace!ul place. %imilarl&, we caninhi)it unwanted eating )ehaiors )& relaxing our )odies so much that our arms !eel too hea& to li!t,then !ocusing our minds awa& !rom thoughts o! !ood to some !ood/neutral image such as clim)ing tothe top o! a )eauti!ul mountain. And, o! course, we can use our newl& ac5uired deep relaxation skills tograduall& decondition ourseles so that certain eents no longer sere as triggers !or mental, ph&sical,or emotional )ehaiors that we hae !ound to )e uncom!orta)le or pain!ul to us. Homeostasis

Eer since that !irst group o! molecules !loating in a primordial sea decided to wrap amem)rane around themseles and !orm the !irst liing cell, maintaining homeostasis @health&, li!e/giing )alance has )een a crucial goal o! all li!e !orms. The conditions inside that !irst cell had to )emaintained within certain speci!ic limits, or li!e would simpl& not hae suried. 0ood had to )e takenin, and waste products had to )e excreted. +x&gen had to )e a)sor)ed, and car)on dioxide had to )eeliminated. The outside enironment was o! no importance to the organism unless manipulating it insome wa& could help maintain its inner )alance. As organisms )ecame more complex, there were eer more needs, dries, sensations, anddecisions to )e )alanced. 0lexing muscles had to )e )alanced with those that were )eing extended. Thenum)er and kinds o! white cells had to )e )alanced against the presence or a)sence o! in!ecting agentssuch as iruses and )acteria. The amount o! water and salt taken in had to )e )alanced with the amountlost through perspiration or urination. The composition o! the )lood and the thickness o! the water&su)stances within the glo)e o! the e&e had to )e strictl& controlled. %oon, complex li!e !orms !ound it essential to deelop nerous s&stems to keep all the di!!erent



parts working in coordination and harmon&. Then came the deelopment o! the )rain, which re5uiredmore delicate )alancing than an&thing else. To optimi;e the !unctioning o! these er& sensitie organs,organisms learned to hold their temperature at an ideal leel#!or us humans, thats K.I degrees0ahrenheit. +ne o! the s&stems the human )od& deeloped !or maintaining )alance was rh&thmic c&cles# )reathing in and )reathing out, waking and sleeping, contracting and relaxing muscles, and the

pumping actions o! the heart. +ne o! the most important o! these is the stress/relaxation c&cle. "he %tress*.ela0ation ycle

The enironment in which we now lie is not the one into which we originall& eoled !romthose primordial seas. 'n that earl& natural enironment, the challenges that our )odies and minds hadto deal with were primaril& o! a gross ph&sical nature. The& were o! short duration: aalanche, !lood,attack )& a neigh)oring tri)e, and con!rontations with wild animals who saw us as !ood or ascompetitors !or !ood. These encounters could usuall& )e handled through )rie!, intense, mental, and ph&sical actiit& @the !ight/or/!light response. +ur )rains would 5uickl& choose one response or theother, which would )e immediatel& transmitted to the muscles that would then carr& out the appropriateactiit&. '! the wrong response was selected, death or disa)ilit& might )e the result. '! the correctresponse was selected, wed surie. Within a short period o! time, we would hae @a killed thethreatening )east, @) run !rom it, @c had it run !rom us, or @d ended up as its dinner. '! &ou hae eer =ust narrowl& escaped death, &ou know what comes next#&ou take a deep )reath, let it out, and then collapse !or a little while. Whew "ost o! us hae had this experience =ust a!ter narrowl& aoiding an automo)ile accident. 'n the )est o! circumstances, we pull to the side o! the road, shut o!! the engine, and =ust take a )reak. A!terdealing with a seere ph&sical challenge like this, &ou might lie down or take a walk, i! &ou hae anopportunit& to do so. 'n other words, !or a short period o! time a!ter the stress o! meeting a threat to our well/)eing, we actuall& tend to go into a hyper2relaxed state. 0or a !ew moments, the man& thoughtsand worries running through our minds stop, and we are grate!ul =ust to )e alie.

This 7relaxation response8 is a time o! re)alancing, recoer&, and renewal. 0ollowing it we !eelre!reshed, )righter, more energetic, and creatie. 1nnering as the& might )e at the time, challenges

such as these trigger a kind o! stress that we are ph&siologicall& er& well designed to deal with. 't iscalled 7T&pe ' %tress.8 The !ollowing diagram shows the rh&thmic c&cles our )odies and )rains expect.

Another ind of Stre11

The stressors o! modern li!e are 5uite di!!erent !rom those o! con!ronting the )easts o! the



=ungle or the earliest human societies 'e )rie!l& descri)ed. Een so, our ph&siological e5uipment !ordealing with stress hasnt eoled )e&ond that o! our ancient ancestors. +ur world has changed !ar toorapidl& !or eolution to keep up with it. The challenges that most o! us !ace in the modern world are notin the realm o! immediate ph&sical surial so much as the& are social or ps&chological challenges.

"ore o!ten than not, we are dealing with challenges that extend oer a period o! time. The&cannot )e soled )& igorous, short/duration, ph&sical actiit&4 the& re5uire a !undamentall& di!!erentset o! skills and a)ilities than our ancient ancestors !aced.

“0tress?the confusion created when one(s mind overrides the body(s basic desire to cho$e theliving crap out of some ,er$ who desperately needs it.”

# ontemporar& !olk wisdom

The 5ualities we need !or dealing with most modern stressors @and eliminating the stress the& produce within our )odies and minds are not merel& a strong )ack, a strong arm, and the a)ilit& to run!ast. What we need is 5uite di!!erent !rom the e5uipment issued to us at )irth4 we need wisdom, care!ul planning, care!ul stud&, patience, and accurate, up/to/date in!ormation upon which to )ase ourdecisions and responses. The )rain does its )est to carr& out the actions we ask o! it. '! we tell it to sole !ie, ten, ortwent& pro)lems simultaneousl&, it will attempt to do so. But unless were super/geniuses, those e!!ortsare going to create much more nonspeci!ic stress than appropriate and accurate solutions. eep .ela0ation for %hifting into Neutral

“No man ever san$ under the burden of the day. It is when tomorrow(s burden is added to theburden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear.”

# -eorge "acDonald

"ental imager& is like a two/edged sword. We can couple our emotions with a single, iidmental image to motiate ourseles or to trigger deeper leels o! healing. 0or example, i! &ou deepl&relax and learn to hold an image in &our mind o! )eing in a place where &ou !eel per!ectl& sa!e,



com!orta)le, and happ&, &our )od& and mind will respond accordingl& with a sense o! serenit& andwell/)eing. B& the same token, when &our mind is pulled in competing directions )& multiple imagesand !eelings @as o!ten happens in highl& pressured work or social situations, &ou will )e distracted andthus preented !rom using &our !ull potential in a positie wa&. 0or example, lets sa& that to get to theserene and com!orta)le place &oure hoping to isuali;e, &ou hae to wade through a swamp o!alligators#real or metaphorical ones. hances are that &oure not going to want to go there er& o!ten,

no matter what reward it ma& ultimatel& promise. While our image o! alligators ma& exaggerate howli!e reall& is, ' hope itll make the point that when were haing di!!iculties achieing our goals, perhaps its not )ecause the thing we want is so di!!icult to achiee. (ather, we are perceiing thatthere are con!licting issues in our wa&. There are simultaneous demands competing with our goal.@*oull )e reading an excellent illustration o! that in a moment under 7%tressed/+ut harlie.8 (ushing !rom one demand to another re5uires us to shi!t gears, much as we must shi!t the gearso! our cars. Theres something to )e learned !rom this metaphor: When driing an automo)ile with amanual transmission, we hae to go through a neutral position )e!ore we shi!t !rom one gear @demandto another. 'n a car with a manual transmission, this is achieed )& pushing in the clutch with our !oot4then we push the shi!t leer to another position, in the process going through the neutral place on thetransmission. @The same thing happens in an automatic transmission, although were not aware o! ithappening. Without )eing a)le to pass through this neutral place, the gears would )e competing witheach other, causing a lot o! grinding, terri)le noises, and ultimatel& preenting the car !rom moing inan& direction. 'n e!!ect, this gnashing and crashing o! gears and metal, resulting in uncoordinated moements,is exactl& what happens when we hae con!licting or competing images in our minds. We would dowell to take a lesson !rom the transmission engineers and pause )etween actiities to shi!t into a neutralstate, in this case achieed )& a !ew moments o! deep relaxation. +ur gears would grind less, and theli!e o! our vehicle would no dou)t )e prolonged. While in neutral, wed choose which gear were goingto shi!t into next: !irst, second , third, !ourth, or reerseM

“+s soon as you apply yourself to reflection# you will at once feel your senses gather

themselves together4 they seem li$e bees which return to the hive and there shut themselves up to wor$ at the ma$ing of honey...+t the first call of the will# they will come bac$ more and more uic$ly. +t last#

after countless exercises of this $ind# od disposes them to a state of utter rest and perfect contemplation.”

# %aint Theresa o! Aila

ivide and onDuer

+ father# tiring of hearing his sons fighting and suabbling with each other# called them all to

him. He showed them a bundle of small stic$s and challenged each of them to brea$ it. No one wasable to do it. "hen# he cut away the bonds with which the bundle was tied together and handed the sons each stic$ individually. Now he instructed them to brea$ the stic$ they were holding. &ach stic$# of course#was easily bro$en. “Bou see#” the father said# “li$e these stic$s# your strength as brothers comes from wor$ingtogether. +cting only on your own will ma$e you wea$.”

#Aesop



'n a similar !ashion, the )rain, which might ena)le us to sole our pro)lems one )& one, )ecomes oerloaded and oerwhelmed when too man& pro)lems are presented at the same time."oreoer, when we put pressure on ourseles to per!orm each and eer& one o! these demands to per!ection, the )rain tends to see eer& pro)lem as a challenge to li!e or lim)4 it cannot risk letting an&o! them go unheeded. This leads to stress oerload and its unwanted conse5uences.

This is where &our intellect and wisdom can work !or &ou. *ou can in!orm &our )rain that &ouare not in danger o! losing li!e or lim) @&oure not, a!ter all, going to )e killed and eaten and that a!ight/or/!light response is not needed at the moment. This is precisel& what happens when &ou relaxmentall& and 5uiet &our mind. But to accomplish this, each o! the issues con!ounding the thinking process must )e set aside, so the process ma& take seeral minutes. +nce &our 7mental )lack)oard8 has )een completel& erased, &ou can !ocus on each o! the issues that need to )e resoled, one )& one. Then,like sticks separated !rom their )undle, the& can )e more easil& )roken. 0rom this we )egin to see thatalthough we o!ten think o! relaxation in ph&sical terms, mental relaxation is an e5uall& ital !eature o!deep relaxation and meditation. "he 9icious ircle of %tress

%tressed*'ut harlie

0ince /harlie(s wife was rear2ended by a hit2and2run driver# she has only been able to wor$ part2time in her sales position. "he loss of income means that in order to pay the rent# the car payments# and the doctor bills each month# they are having to dip more and more into their life savings. Word has reached /harlie(s boss that he is loo$ing for a new ,ob# and the boss has started toharass him at wor$. /harlie has found another ,ob# but it would mean moving away from his family ata time when his teenage son is having trouble coping and has been experimenting with drugs. What(smore# the city where the new ,ob is has much meaner streets# and he fears for the safety of his ten2year2old daughter. /harlie has been having stomach pains lately# both due to his worrying and to the two or three

drin$s he ta$es at night to# as he explains# “help me relax and sleep.” His wife# whose father was anabusive alcoholic# has become frightened# clingy# and irritable. It(s getting to the point where /harliedoesn(t feel he can relax# even at home. /harlie is in stress overload4 he is “stressed out.” He has begun to have headaches and hasbecome short2tempered. 'riends and others who might be supportive have begun to avoid him. Henotices that he has begun to ma$e poor decisions and is getting forgetful. He worries constantly# but itis not useful thin$ing4 he never comes up with any good answers and only ends up exhausting himselfand feeling increasingly powerless to do anything to improve his lot in life.

1oor /harlie can(t move forward or bac$. He(s li$e a car whose transmission is being pushedinto all gears at once. "here(s a lot of gnashing and grinding# but /harlie is ,ust sitting still and feeling frustrated# pressured# and hopeless about his life. But imagine what could happen i! harlie simpl& paused, went into neutral, en=o&ed his !eelings



o! relaxation !or a moment, and then made the decision o! which gear to go into. He could !ocus oneach single pro)lem at a time, sta&ing in that one gear until he got to a place that !elt com!orta)le. Thenhe might go into neutral again, shi!t to a di!!erent gear, and set o!! in a second direction to sole thenext pro)lem. Each time hed moe a little !urther ahead, gaining sel!/esteem and a new sense o!accomplishment with each e!!ort. <ust as tense muscles can produce a icious circle in which pain leads to spasm which leads to

more pain, a similar kind o! situation can take place at the mentalOemotional leel. A person worrieda)out not doing well on a test might get no sleep the night )e!ore, thus making the chances o! his!ailing the test more likel&. A woman a!raid to con!ront her alcoholic hus)and !or !ear o! harming therelationship, might, through her inaction, contri)ute to its demise. The pro)lem in each o! thesesituations is that there is a lack o! )alance, an ina)ilit& to moe !orward )ecause o! con!licting imager&,goals, or !ears that we are simultaneousl& holding in our minds. 3our Image Ideal

0rom harlies case, it )ecomes clear that how we see ourseles in relationship to ourenironment is critical. '! we perceie ourseles as incapa)le o! meeting the challenges o! the externalenironment, were going to experience tremendous stress. This stress will impact on us in man& wa&s #mentall&, emotionall&, ph&sicall&, and spirituall&. Li!e is going to !eel er& much out o! )alance !orus. '! we see ourseles as helpless ictims at the merc& o! external eents, our internal tension andstress increases exponentiall& and we ma& )ecome exceedingl& depressed. +n the contrar&, i! we seeourseles as competent, een though con!ronted with extraordinar& challenges, tension is lessened, ourinner )alance returns to normal, and we suddenl& )ecome )etter a)le to meet our challenges. What is it that makes the di!!erence hereM Lets assume that the external challenges hae notchanged, &et we ourseles hae changed. That change, an inner one, is contingent upon sel!/image, inthis case changing or rein!orcing our image ideal o! ourseles. Theres an interesting wa& to approach this process. "an& great students o! human )ehaiorhae said that we each hae man& su)personalities within us. (ather than haing =ust a single personalit&, each o! us has multiple personalities we can draw upon. We are a little like a complexnoel that em)odies seeral characters, all created )& a single author . We can switch !rom a ictimsu)personalit& to a highl& competent leader su)/personalit& through a isuali;ation process. To shi!t tothe stronger image ideal, it can )e help!ul to recall a su)personalit& o! extreme competence andcon!idence. This can )e accomplished )& simpl& remem)ering ictories !rom &our past, times when&ou actuall& were operating at an optimal leel and !eeling &our true power as an indiidual. +ne o! the most power!ul and healing uses o! imager& is the isuali;ation o! the image ideal,remem)ering that the image &ou hold o! &oursel! is cruciall& important to eer&thing that happens in&our li!e, particularl& &our own healing. 't turns out that this image is one &ou can create within &ourmind/)od& through the process o! selectie awareness, which wee explored in preious chapters. "an& people lack motiation to moe toward healing or change in their lies simpl& )ecausethe& do not hae a clear ision o! how the new condition can enrich their lies. Een when the& haean appealing picture, man& still lack the con!idence that the& can succeed in changing their )ehaiorsto achiee that ideal. The deelopment o! a highl& desira)le image ideal helps resole thesede!iciencies. Deeloping a positie ision o! the !uture and gaining the cooperation o! the )od& and theemotions in support o! this ision is an important part o! deep healing. 't allows us to inent andmentall& rehearse those new )ehaiors that will lead unerringl& to this important new guiding ision!or our lies. '! &ou were going to )uild a house, &ou would pro)a)l& aoid merel& gra))ing an armload o!whateer materials were near)& and hapha;ardl& !astening them together. *ou would pro)a)l& start



with a kind o! ideali;ed outcome, which might )e in the !orm o! an architects drawing. *ou wouldcontinue to modi!& this drawing until it looked as per!ect as &ou could get it. +nce &ou had it as close as it could get to &our ideal, &ou would )egin construction, using thisdrawing as a model to !ollow. 'n other words, &ou would start with a mental image o! &our ideal,trans!er it to paper, then use the paper drawing to help &ou create the actual house. Presuma)l&, &ouwould ultimatel& produce on &our lot or acreage a )uilding that closel& resem)led the ideal image

&oud once held onl& in &our mind. *ou would understand that true per!ection is neer reached, andthus would not demand this o! &our pro=ect. But haing an ideal to aim !or proides solid guidance !or&our e!!orts and helps &ou mold the outcome to &our desires. Although we are alwa&s in the process o! constructing our inner and outer worlds, we seldomuse the same care and wisdom that we exercise when we )uild a house in creating the sel!/images wecarr& around with us eer& da& o! our lies. +ur ph&sical, emotional, and mental characteristics haedeeloped in response to man& people around us. We ma& hae used parents and pla&mates as ourmodels. Later we ma& hae deeloped our sel!/image !rom o)sering our own school and work mates.There was pro)a)l& no one who was an excellent role model !or us to !ashion ourseles a!ter. Therewas no grand design, no ideal, that we were guided toward. And i! there was an ideal, it was certainl&not one that came !rom our heart, or inner sel!, )ut !rom o)sering other people in our enironment. 0or all o! us, the net result is a cra;& 5uilt o! relatiel& success!ul and unsuccess!ul wa&s o!relating with ourseles, the world around us, and our a)ilit& to achiee those things we wish to achiee #whether it is )etter health, )etter relationships, )etter !eelings a)out ourseles, or success in ourcareers or )usinesses. With the tools o! deep relaxation and imager&, howeer, we hae an opportunit& to re/inentourseles, to !ashion a di!!erent set o! emotions and wa&s o! thinking, )ehaing, and relating withothers. And we can maximi;e our health potential in the process. <ust as in )uilding a house, we can start out )& creating an image ideal. But how would we goa)out doing thatM Actuall&, its easier than &ou might imagine. Heres how: To deelop &our image ideal, imagine that a !air& godmother appears with her magic wand,telling &ou that she could touch &ou with it and &ou would )ecome exactl& the person &ou want to )e.The hitch is that &ou hae to tell her what that is. *ou hae to tell her what &ou imagine &our per!ectweight to )e4 &our energ& leel4 what &oud like to )e !eeling emotionall&4 what would )e thecharacteristics o! &our thinking4 and how would &ou !eel in &our )od&. This image ideal also includes ph&sical )ehaiors#how &ou would like to moe, the ph&sical actiities &ou would like to )e inoledin, and how &ou would like to dress. And, o! course, it would relate to &our health. '! health pro)lems were gone !rom &our )od&,what would the di!!erent parts o! &our )od& !eel likeM The !ollowing exercises will help &ou deelop&our personal image ideal.


To )egin this workout, consider the !ollowing 5uestions: /; What reactions or )ehaiors in &our li!e would &ou like to learn to inhi)it with deeprelaxationM 0or example, do &ou want to )e more patient with others in &our li!eM Would &ou like to )emore at ease in social situationsM 's there an addictie @alcohol a)use or compulsie pattern@oereating &oud like to changeM 0; At what points in the da& would it )e alua)le and health& !or &ou to shi!t into a neutralstress stateM 0or example, there might )e a time in the middle o! the da& when &ou can close the door o! &our room or o!!ice and )e in a deepl& relaxed state !or !ie or ten minutes. "ake a plan to tr& this. 3; Where do &ou most !re5uentl& encounter T&pe ' stress in &our li!eM 0or example, whiledriing to work on the !reewa& do &ou get tense and anxiousM Where do &ou see T&pe '' stressM 0orexample, do &ou o!ten !eel dou)le/)inds a)out doing extra work at home and meeting the demands o!



&our !amil&M What changes would &ou like to makeM 0or example, &ou might like to )e working closerto home so &ou wouldnt hae to commute such long distances, and &oud like to take more weekendso!! to take &our !amil& to the )each. 4; Deelop the characteristics o! &our image ideal. How would &ou look, !eel, moeM Whatthoughts would &ou hold in &our mindM What would &our mood )e: happ&, optimistic, openM *ourspirit )right, open to new ideas, responsieM How would &ou relate to other people around &ou, at

work, at home, in &our leisure timeM 0riendl& and !lexi)leM How would &ou !eel a)out &oursel!M1p)eat, con!ident, and proud o! &our accomplishmentsM 5; Deelop these ideas, then appl& them in the image ideal imager& )elow. Imagery49isuali1ing 3our Image Ideal

'irst# enter the state of deep relaxation that you(ve learned about in previous chapters. "hen#after you have transported yourself to your special place# imagine that you are standing in front of amagic mirror. 0lowly# as you loo$ into this mirror# you begin to ma$e out the shape of your body. +s your body slowly comes into focus# however# you see that your weight is exactly what you would li$e itto be. Bour body is as firm# supple# and shapely as you desire. Bou notice that your body moves fluidly# flexibly# strongly# and confidently. Bou notice that your body is dressed in exactly the $ind of clothes you li$e best# and your hair is perfectly groomed. +s your face comes into focus# you notice that your eyes are spar$ling and there is a smile on your face.radually you begin to reali-e that the body you see in the mirror is the one you possess. =egin to feel the new shape of your legs# abdomen# and torso. 'eel your face being transformed to that of your image ideal. +s you turn and loo$ at yourself from different viewpoints in the mirror# you notice that all parts of you loo$ perfect. +lso# it feels wonderful to be in this body. Now that you fit your image ideal perfectly# you turn away from the mirror and go off to do something you en,oy?running# swimming#riding horsebac$# or even flying through the air li$e a bird. Whatever you do# ma$e sure that you give yourself the experience of really feeling wonderful. "his image ideal now serves as a positive model for your deeper mind. "he responses it beginsto generate are consistent with this new image. radually# you will begin to notice ways in which you are beginning# more and more# to behaveli$e your image ideal. Bou may notice improvements in your health# a greater feeling of well2being#and an easier# more comfortable way of relating with other people. Hold this ideal in your mind regardless of what you may be experiencing in the external world."a$e a few moments each day# perhaps in the mornings before you start your day# or in the evenings as you are getting ready for bed# to deeply relax# and once again vividly create this image in your mind. In time# and with practice# you will be able to reproduce this image ideal any time you wish. "hin$ of it as guiding your action in the same way that the architect(s drawing might guide you in creating a newhome. The more adept &ou )ecome at holding this image ideal, the more &ou will )egin to see changestaking place in &our li!e. 't will )ecome a driing !orce in motiating &ou to make choices that willsupport the image &ou are holding. 't will seemingl& attract to &ou those per!ect opportunities to dothings and meet people who can help &ou achiee &our goals. As simple/minded as this single exercisecan appear to )e, it is &our passport to the kind o! li!e &oue onl& dreamed o!. To go een !urther with &our image ideal, &ou can actuall& rescript &our li!e. Thats the su)=ecto! the !ollowing chapter.

HAPTE( TE$T%E $A#IC OF



$ENTAL I$A#E(+,

(E!(ITIN# +O)(

O!N LIFE SC(I&T

“8i$e the waves of the sea are the ways of fate as we voyage through life# 3tis the set of the soul which decides its goal and not the calm nor the strife.”

# Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"he Mother of &ll ecisions

The human nerous s&stem, which includes the central nerous s&stem @the )rain and spinalcord and the peripheral nerous s&stem @the neres that go out to our !ingers, toes, muscles, andorgans must make an enormous num)er o! decisions each da&. %ometimes these are lower/leel

decisions such as whether to tense certain leg muscles in order to clim) a !light o! stairs or to 5uickl&withdraw our hand !rom a hot stoe. %ometimes decisions must )e made at a higher leel o! the s&stem,such as whether or not to )u& a new car, propose marriage, or take a =o) in another countr&. 0inall&, howeer, all these decisions must )e )ased upon three essential !actors. E 3our %elf*Image+ "he image you hold of yourself?your strength# s$ill# physical health# personal values# attractiveness# and talents. E 3our $orld 9iew+ "he image you hold of the world around you?whether it is day or night#whether you are in a safe or an unsafe location# whether you are with a friend or a foe. E 3our Inner Map+ "he map of relationship?where you stand in relationship to the externalworld# what you can impact# what can hurt you4 what response patterns are available to you# whatinteraction is ta$ing place in the present.

*ou were not )orn with these inner models, maps, and mental structures in their completed!orm. The& took shape through the man& experiences o! &our li!e. <ust as the character o! the -randan&on is the result o! interactions )etween the !orces o! nature and the underl&ing rock strata, theinteractions )etween nature @genetics and nurture @learnings !rom &our !amil& o! origin and &ourenironment hae gien rise to these )elie!s. A petite woman in her !i!tieth &ear and a seen/!oot pro!essional )asket)all pla&er in his mid/twenties will hae sel!/images that di!!er astl& due to their di!!erent genetic heritages. The )asket)all pla&er might think o! himsel! as someone who en=o&s parades since he can alwa&s see oer the heads o! others. And certainl& )eing in a crowd poses no great risk to his ph&sical well/)eing, since people willaoid pushing around such an imposing !igure, and he would su!!er little harm i! the& did. "eanwhile,the petite woman might perceie crowds as dangerous to her ph&sical well/)eing )ecause she might )e

=ostled a)out and in=ured. "oreoer, i! shes going to )e a)le to en=o& the parade at all, shell hae to )e in the !ront row. +n the other hand, part o! their sel!/image is determined )& their up)ringing4 either ma& !eelashamed o! his or her at&pical height. 0or example, the petite &oung woman ma& hae grown uparound )rothers and sisters o! aerage height who made !un o! her !or )eing so small. At the other endo! the scale, she might hae )een raised )& a mother who thought there was nothing )etter in the worldthan haing a petite !igure. ' can attest to the !act that )eing tall isnt alwa&s the asset one mightimagine it to )e. Because ' had nearl& reached m& adult height o! IG8 in =unior high school, ' su!!eredgreatl& !rom the teasing o! m& classmates, who called me names such as#7%tretch,8 7string/)ean,8 and



7!reak.8 Later, as a )asket)all pla&er and high =umper, ' was 5uite happ& to tower oer m& peers. %o thenurturing ' receied had )oth its upside and its downside, )oth o! which ' incorporated into m& sel!/image. %imilarl&, our world iew ma& di!!er due to our genetic endowment. As an o)ious example, acolor)lind person sees a er& di!!erent world !rom the normal/sighted person. Li!e experiences can hae a great impact on sel!/image, too. 0or example, a child who was

a)used )& a drunken !ather ma& see all men as potentiall& dangerous, while a person raised )& er&loing parents might grow up to )e too trusting o! eer&one she meets. The inner map )& which we de!ine our relationship to our enironment ma& also hae )othgenetic and learned components. 0or example, an attractie woman ma& !eel competent a)out gainingthe attention o! &oung men. The learned components can also help us deelop a sense o! personalcompetence. 0or example, ' ma& !eel a)le to gie a lecture or ride a sur!)oard )ecause o! the trainingand experience ' hae deeloped in these areas. 'n an& gien situation, our )elie!s ma& or ma& not proide us with realistic and accurateappraisals o! what is actuall& true. learl&, choices )ased on unrealistic assumptions @its sa!e to walkthe cit& streets at night ma& lead to unwanted conse5uences. $ext, we will explore how mechanismswithin us, some o! them in)orn, some learned, ma& trigger reactions to li!e challenges that ultimatel& produce im)alance and disease. We will also examine how these ma& )e re)alanced and healed. "hree ases of High lood Pressure

Here are the stories o! patients ' hae worked with, each o! whom had )een diagnosed witheleated )lood pressure. 'n each case, the healing took place#/that is, wholeness and )alance o! thecardioascularOnerous s&stem was restored#&et the pathwa&s taken to restore that )alance di!!erconsidera)l&.

CASE %ISTO(+: ELSA

Elsas )lood pressure had )een slowl& clim)ing !or man& &ears. Treatment with medication had )een di!!icult4 one had made her nauseated, another had a!!ected her kidne&s. Adised )& her ph&sicianto !ocus on whateer non/drug treatments she could !ind, she turned to diet, exercise, and her)s. Therewas some improement, )ut her )lood pressure was still too high. A !riend sent her a cop& o! m&audiocassette program Down with High =lood 1ressure in the hopes that it would )e help!ul. Elsa !ound the relaxation portion o! the tape most en=o&a)le. %he )egan to !eel more relaxedthan she had !or a long time. Taking her )lood pressure !ollowing each experience, she !ound that itwas lower. 1n!ortunatel&, it tended to slowl& dri!t )ack up during the next !ew hours as she went a)outher normal actiities. Then she started working with the part o! the tape that suggested to her deeper mind that sheexplore those situations that had triggered increases in her )lood pressure. The theor& )ehind this process is that there is a part o! the nerous s&stem that knows !ull well when the )lood pressure iseleated, although this knowledge is generall& not aaila)le to the conscious mind. There are nosensor& receptors to proide input !rom )lood pressure to an& other sensation in our )odies such astouch, warmth, i)ration, tickle, itch, or position. +n the other hand, )& using the deepl& relaxed state,it ma& )e possi)le to communicate with that part o! the mind that does recogni;e when the )lood pressure changes, and ask it to reeal the nature o! those kinds o! situations that triggered eleations. Through this process, Elsa discoered that there were a num)er o! regularl& occurring situationsin her li!e in which she !elt that she, her !amil&, or her !riends were )eing treated in an unkind andun!air wa&. 'n each situation, howeer, she !elt curiousl& una)le to speak out a)out what she saw andwhat she )elieed. 't was at these times, according to her deeper mind, that her )lood pressure was pushed upward. 0inall&, a!ter a)out a week o! working dail& with this section o! the tape, she suddenl& !ound



7Wait a minute, Doc,8 he !inall& said, 7' hae )een there long enough to hae m& pick o! an& place ' want to work, and ' reall& dont want to work in the top secret area an&more8 't took him less than a month to )e reassigned to an area with a huge window that looked outonto a pleasant shru) garden. His )lood pressure went down, and although he checked it at homeregularl&, there were no unusual eleations oer the next seeral &ears that ' !ollowed him.

'n this case, the deep healing took place primaril& through a change in the enironment,although ultimatel& it was his own increased responsieness to his inner needs that led to the clarit& onthis decision.

CASE %ISTO(+: >I$

<im was in excellent health !or a J/&ear/old man. He was a regular winner in the "astersompetition in long distance swimming. He was clear and !ocused and er& sel!/disciplined. The pro)lem was that he had experienced an eleation in his )lood pressure, and his ph&sician was insistinghe treat it with drugs. The notion o! taking a drug on a regular )asis was anathema to a super/health&gu& like <im. He came to see i! ' could help him out. 't turns out that as a &oung man <im had )een a )oxer, and one with 5uite a )right !uture it

seemed, until it was discoered in a pre/!ight ph&sical that his )lood pressure was slightl& eleated. Hewent on a low/salt diet, )ut still, prior to each !ight, his )lood pressure went up. 0inall&, he was !orcedto gie up )oxing. +er the next or &ears, his )lood pressure remained within normal limits. Then, at a)outage GJ, during one o! his regular ph&sical exams, his doctor noted that <ims )lood pressure wasdeeloping a slow and relatiel& constant eleation. We explored these )lood pressure eleations )& asking his deeper mind to reeal the triggers !or these increases, much as Elsas did. 't turned out that =ust )e!ore an& con!rontation, whether at work orat home, <im )ecame rather tense. 0urther, he was the ice president o! a )illion/dollar corporationwhere such con!rontations were 5uite !re5uent. 't seems that su)consciousl& he approached eachcon!rontation as i! it were a )oxing match, in which the slightest error on his part might result in his

)eing knocked unconscious. Because <im was so accustomed to discipline and training, he was 5uite receptie andenthusiastic a)out learning how to lower his )lood pressure through deep relaxation and imager&. He practiced diligentl& and soon was a)le to )ring his )lood pressure to within normal limits. Hedeeloped a wa& o! doing this that inoled slowl& opening and closing his e&es three times whilecounting !rom ten down to ;ero and thinking the word relax. %oon he )egan to notice that wheneer his )lood pressure was eleated, he could detect a slightsalt&/metallic taste on the tip o! his tongue. Then, he reported that he noted this taste =ust )e!orecon!rontations at work. He soon trained himsel! to carr& out this relaxation procedure at the slightest hint o! that taste.-raduall&, <im )egan to notice that con!rontations )ecame much easier. There was a certain !eeling he

had alwa&s associated with these eents that was disappearing. "ost o! us would call it a !eeling o! fear# although this word did not seem to )e in <ims oca)ular&. %oon, his deeper mind seemed to graspthe idea, and his )lood pressure descended to, and remained at, a er& normal leel. $ow, he onl& hadto use his relaxation techni5ue a couple o! times a week to sta& in shape. He also does the relaxationtechni5ue =ust )e!ore going to isit the doctor !or a )lood pressure check, one o! the !ew situations thatcontinues to retain the old 5ualit& o! threat.

'n <ims case, the pathwa& o! deep healing was one o! s&stematicall& training his



ps&choph&siological s&stem, the mind/)od& complex, how to maintain a lower )lood pressure. As aside e!!ect o! this training, there was a change in the emotional response center o! his nerous s&stemthat had )een responding to con!rontational situations. His personal histor& had )een o! some alue in!inding an e!!ectie treatment !or him, )ut the primar& change did not take place merel& through atrans!ormatie understanding. There was signi!icant insight, )ut it was more o! a contri)utor&, ratherthat a primar& !actor in terms o! changing the presenting s&mptom. 't was his diligent sel!/training that

!inall& turned the tide. As with <im, insight can lead us to change our )ehaior, our perspectie on things, and oura)ilit& to maintain new and more health& ha)its and response patterns. .eactions to 2ife hallenges

As we hae seen, a gien disease or s&mptom can )e the result o! a ariet& o! circumstances.%imilarl&, the same s&mptom in a di!!erent person ma& respond to a er& di!!erent mode o!examination and treatment. %imilarl&, when a gien situation or eent occurs in the lies o! twodi!!erent people, it might set a di!!erent chain o! eents into motion and produce er& di!!erents&mptoms. We can speculate a)out how these di!!erent s&mptoms might mani!est. As a result o! !eelingtrapped in the Top %ecret area, the engineer might hae deeloped a pattern o! chain smoking insteado! h&pertension. "an& smokers can empathi;e with this, noticing that the& o!ten smoke while driing,when the&re stuck !or long periods !illing out !orms, or t&ping. +r he might hae turned to alcohol atlunchtime and dinnertime to relax on those da&s when he was assigned to the Top %ecret area, and hemight ultimatel& hae deeloped alcoholism. He might hae had a di!!erent target organ !or the ps&choph&siological stress, and deeloped an ulcer instead.

CASE %ISTO(+: !A+NE

At the start o! the war, Wa&ne and three o! his !riends all =oined the Air 0orce together. The&had grown up and gone to school as a close/knit unit4 now the& would all sere together as aircra!tmechanics. At the end o! the training, Wa&ne !ailed the 5uali!&ing examination on his !irst tr&, while histhree !riends all passed. He had onl& one more chance to take it, and i! he !ailed again, his )uddieswould go on to adanced training, )ut he would )e shunted o!! into some other militar& specialt&. The thought o! this happening was excruciatingl& pain!ul !or Wa&ne. As the da& o! the examapproached, he )ecame more and more tense and !rightened. He had trou)le sleeping and di!!icult&concentrating. The eening )e!ore the exam, he was so distraught that one o! his !riends suggested he hae adrink o! whiske& to calm down. Desperate !or some release, Wa&ne had one drink, then another. Presto <ust like magic, his anxiet& and tension melted awa&. 0or the !irst time in weeks, Wa&ne!elt calm. He slept well that night, passed the exam the next da&, and was a)le to continue as an aircra!tmechanic alongside his )uddies. But Wa&ne neer !orgot the trick he had learned. Wheneer there was a ma=or challenge in hisli!e, he would calm himsel! )& haing a !ew drinks. -raduall&, smaller and smaller challenges wouldtrigger his drinking )ehaior. %oon, =ust the normal anxiet& o! eer&da& li!e was enough to create thecraing !or alcohol, and Wa&ne )ecame a dail& drinker, an alcoholic. Wa&ne came to see me )ecause o! his alcoholism. Had he reacted di!!erentl& to the stresses inhis li!e, he might hae come in with s&mptoms o! generali;ed anxiet&, agorapho)ia, or a !eeling o! panic wheneer he crossed )ridges. +r he might hae deeloped headaches, insomnia, )lurred ision,or high )lood pressure.



%o, the situation is complex. How nice it would )e i! )ladder in!ections alwa&s meant &ou were7pissed o!! at someone,8 or i! diarrhea meant there was 7someone or something &ou wanted to dump!rom &our li!e.8 Although certain s&mptoms ma& o!ten correspond to speci!ic li!e eents, there is norelia)le one/to/one correlation, no simplistic mapping o! situations and emotional reactions ontos&mptoms and diseases. Well/meaning experiments hae )een per!ormed to attempt to show such correlation, )ut the&

hae not )een success!ul. 1n!ortunatel&, this has led some in the scienti!ic communit& tounceremoniousl& discard the )a)& along with the )ath water. %o, as unnering though it ma& )e, we must take leae o! those com!orta)le medical models inwhich a certain kind o! pustule on the skin invariably means smallpox, where acute rheumatic !eeralways means preious in!ection with the Beta Hemol&tic %treptococcus, and where a corkscrew!racture o! the thigh alwa&s indicates 7ski/slope trauma8 and the need !or surgical immo)ili;ation.

“+bsolute rules are a device of cowardice to escape the difficulty of decision when anexceptional case occurs4 a consistent refusal is always easier than an occasional compliance.”

#Author unknown

The good news is that there is a general approach that proes er& success!ul. 't inoleslearning deep relaxation. %tudies that inoled teaching people with a ariet& o! s&mptoms anddiseases to relax, meditate, or practice &oga show er& positie results. The deepl& relaxed state these practices induce interrupts the icious circle. The& allow participants in those programs to look at theirlies !rom a new, less de!ensie and more creatie point o! iew and to deelop new )elie!s, )ehaiors,and li!est&les that gie rise to deeper changes. "he ;ancer*Prone Personality<

'n C9, Dr. Lawrence Le%han deeloped the concept o! a cancer patient pro!ile. The idea is

that certain li!e changes, when the& occur in the lies o! people with certain personalities, ma& predispose them to the deelopment o! cancer. The pattern that seemed to occur in a surprising num)ero! times inoled: C a li!elong histor& o! !eeling unloa)le4 !inding someone or something thatsatis!ied that longing to !eel loa)le and loed4 and losing that loed o)=ect or person, !or example,through death, diorce, or !inancial crisis. According to this model, six to nine months a!ter the loss,s&mptoms o! cancer )egin to appear. The !uror oer these !indings could hae )een predicted. %ome cancer patients !elt accused, asthough the& were )eing blamed !or setting up the situation that produced their own cancer. +thercancer patients called the idea nonsense )ecause the& could not see this pattern in their lies. Hus)andsand wies who had diorced their spouses !eared the& would )e )lamed !or the disease in the personthe& had a)andoned. People who had su!!ered a recent pain!ul loss )egan to !ear that the& were in

grae danger o! contracting cancer. The pro)lem, o! course, was that people interpreted this idea o! a pro!ile as claiming that therewas a one/to/one correlation )etween a certain set o! li!e eents and the su)se5uent deelopment o! atumor. +! course, this is not true. 't could well )e, howeer, that the stress o! certain kinds o! emotionalreactions @such as the loss o! a loed one, com)ined with a certain kind o! mental sel!/image, couldcontri)ute to the deelopment o! cancer. The correlation might )e increased i!, in addition, this occurred in an indiidual who was alsogeneticall& predisposed to haing cancer. '! this person had also not eaten a health& diet and wasexposed to radiation or toxic chemicals, the chance o! deeloping a tumor might )e !urther eleated.



'n a culture such as ours, with its )roken !amilies, shattered communities, and widespread!eelings o! personal isolation, the situation in which a person !eels unloa)le is actuall& !airl& common.%imilarl&, it is not unusual !or a person to !ind loe and then to lose it. '! stress in general is a predisposing !actor in the deelopment o! cancer, this rather common situation could )e expected toshow up reasona)l& o!ten in those who had deeloped a tumor. But association does not mean cause.The association, although neither necessar& nor su!!icient, ma& still )e important and might teach us

something. People &re Individuals

“&xperience is not what happens to us# experience is what we do with what happens to us.”

# (alph Waldo Emerson

Een though certain antecedents @eents or situations ma& )e somewhat more !re5uentl&associated with certain ph&siological conseuences @diseases and s&mptoms, too o!ten such theoretical

associations are not er& use!ul in clinical practice. Basicall&, an& situation ma& contri)ute to an&outcome. 't all depends upon what we do ps&choph&siologicall& with that eent. 'magine a particular child who a)solutel& hated spinach. The parents insisted that she eat iteer& da&, and to ease the experience, the& gae her an ice cream cone a!ter each plate!ul. Would shegrow up to loe spinachM +r to hate ice creamM 't all depends on a num)er o! !actors )ased on her sel!/image, world iew, and inner map. Thus !ar we hae seen that: ; 1hysical diseases and symptoms vary according to what is happening in our lives. ; enerally# inner conflict or stress tends to ma$e the condition worse. ; Different people show different symptoms in different organs and organ systems. ; Different people react to different antecedents )events# situations# triggers*. What is toxic for

one person might actually be pleasurable for another?divorce and heavy metal music being examples. Making eeper hanges

%ometimes deeper or more complex changes are inoled in deeloping new )ehaiors.@(emem)er: )ehaiors can )e external, like speaking and driing or internal, like emotions, thoughts,and muscle tension. And =ust as &ou can learn to pat &our head and ru) &our )ell& simultaneousl&, sotoo can &ou learn to change other, more important !unctions and responses that up till now &ou hae )elieed &ou were una)le to a!!ect. These include lowering &our )lood pressure, altering the actions o!&our stomach or )owel, or modi!&ing the !unction o! &our immune s&stem. %ometimes more than =ust training is needed4 an actual trans!ormational process is called !or. A person who will not keep his )io!eed)ack appointments, !or instance, ma& need to undergo a personal

trans!ormation in order to )e willing to gie up his other pursuits and make himsel! aaila)le !or thetraining that will ease his )ack pain. +r a person ma& hae so walled o!! the part that needs to learn orchange that it is not aaila)le !or retraining, and so she makes no progress in controlling her ph&sical or emotional )ehaior. %ome kind o! trans!ormation is needed in order !or this part to )ecome aaila)le.We will discuss what trans!ormation is and some o! pathwa&s to achiee it later. How "houghts ecome Physical .eality4%elective &wareness

“Bour mind will be li$e its habitual thoughts for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its



thoughts.”

#"arcus Aurelius

%ince our culture adopted the artesian notion that the mind and )od& are separate,

philosophers hae wrestled with the seeming paradox o! how the intentions o! the mind can hae ane!!ect on the )od&. The more modern notion is that the& are not separate entities at all )ut are di!!erentaspects o! the same phenomenon, simpl& iewed !rom a di!!erent perspectie.C

This is metaphoricall& similar to the situation that scientists encounter when the& stud& light.%ometimes light )ehaes like particles @photons and sometimes like waes @rain)ows. 0urthermore, i! we set up an experiment to show that light is particulate, it is success!ul. The pro)lem is that when wedesign an experiment to show that it is a wae, this too succeeds. Paradoxicall&, light is )oth particleand wae. 'n a like manner, we cannot separate the )od& !rom the mind or the mind !rom the )od& andstill hae what we call a human )eing. When we !ull& reali;e this we can see much more easil& how change in one can induce changein the other. This perspectie also has the practical adantage that it permits us to deise a wa& to

consciousl& )ring a)out desira)le changes in parts o! us that usuall& !unction without conscious input."& )asic tenet !or m&sel!, as well as m& patients and clients, is that an& trans!ormation, )e it ph&sical,mental, emotional, or )ehaioral, should )e in agreement with the deepest principles and wishes o! theconscious mind. ' o!ten use the !ollowing a!!irmations to help esta)lish a sense o! the health& andharmonious relationship among the parts o! the )od& and mind. $ote as &ou consider these a!!irmationsthat it is when conscious and unconscious minds are in con!lict that the most pain!ul disorders anddiseases result. These a!!irmations are designed to rescript how &ou !eel a)out &oursel! and &ourrelationship to the world, and to help )ring a)out an harmonious )alance and unit&. &ffirmations

%y mind belongs to me.

%y body belongs to me. I have a mind# but I am not my mind. I have a body# but I am not body. I have a brain# but I am not my brain. I have the right and ability to decide whether or not a particular behavior is appropriate. It is I who should decide whether “my mind is playing tric$s on me” or if I am getting accurateinformation and desirable behavior from my mind. +ll conscious $nowledge comes through the window of my awareness. %y thoughts are the $eys to all consciously directed change. I can choose thoughts that nurture all parts of my being. %elective &wareness, )ey to onscious hange

“"houghts lead on to purposes4 purposes go forth in action4 action forms habits4 habits decidecharacter4 and character fixes our destiny.”

#T&rone Edwards

Through the conscious use o! mental imager&, we hae the a)ilit& to a!!ect our leel o!



relaxation, com!ort, pain, enthusiasm#and the )asic ph&siolog& o! our )odies. But what kind o!imager& will do this, and how can we create itM

“"he world is an illusion created by a conspiracy of the senses.”

#(oger Penrose

As we hae discussed, our short/ and long/term responses to our internal and externalenironments must ultimatel& )e )ased on our sel!/image, our world iew, and our inner map. +urmodern understanding o! the )rain tells us that it does its work through the secretion o!neurotransmitters and hormones, chemical su)stances that act as messengers carr&ing in!ormation andinducing changes in other neurons and in other organs o! the )od&. This leads to the rather startlingreali;ation that the )rain is actuall& an endocrine gland , and what we call 7realit&8 is dependent uponits secretions and electrical !ields. Because these chemicals and electrical !ields are continuall& )eing changed )& our thoughts, )elie!s, and images, it is scienti!icall& accurate to sa& that each o! us 7creates our own realit&.8 "ore

speci!icall&, our nervous system creates our realit&, and i! we know how to guide the !unctioning o! thenerous s&stem, we can consciousl& and intentionall& )ring a)out desira)le changes. The )asic means )& which this can )e accomplished is through the use o! a er& !undamental propert& o! the humanmind called %electie Awareness. #0periencing %elective &wareness

"hin$ of an apple. Now thin$ of a polar bear# the &iffel "ower# a pile of ashes# an ostrich egg# a space ship# a cigar# a mountain# the planet 0aturn# and a computer chip. $ot too di!!icult. Now thin$ of all of them at the same time5 Een though &ou can )ring to mind more than a million thoughts at an& gien moment, it is

di!!icult or impossi)le to !ocus on more than one. This is what ' call selective awareness. +! course,oer a period o! time as short as a minute, not =ust one )ut numerous thoughts ma& pass through &ourawareness, )ut the& do so one at a time in a se5uence. '! &ou do nothing, &our thoughts will meander on, will&/nill&, shi!ting !rom one track toanother, distracted )& irreleant 7clang8 associations, enironmental phenomena, memories, !ears, andso !orth. This is the state some philosophers hae called 7drunken sleepwalking.8 "aladaptie )ehaiors o! mind, emotions, and )od& @including man& diseases are the result o! this unguided @ormisguided mode o! thinking. The good news is that with a little practice &ou can deelop the a)ilit& to exert a great deal o!in!luence oer this string o! thoughts. '! &ou sta& alert, each time the string o! thoughts wanders o!! thecourse &ou want it to sta& on &ou can oerride the automatic pilot and re!ocus on whateer thought or

pathwa& o! thoughts &ou wish. All &our experiences are the direct result o! &our thoughts, including &our mental images and )elie!s. What &ou experience in li!e, where &ou go, and what decisions &ou make must ultimatel&depend upon the nature o! the thoughts that pass through &our mind. 1nderstanding the phenomenon o! selectie awareness leads us to a most signi!icant reali;ation: 0ince you can consciously and intentionally choose what thought is in your mind at anymoment# you have the potential to learn to consciously guide and control what you thin$# see# feel# anddo on an ongoing basis. As simple as this !act is, it is extraordinaril& power!ul. This is )ecause through skill!ull&



guiding &our awareness, &ou can hae decisie impact upon mental, ph&sical, emotional, and )ehaioral processes that are not normall& aaila)le to conscious modi!ication. The ke& to doing this isthe use o! mental imager&. Imagery and Physiological hange

“Cnow the 0elf to be sitting in the chariot# the body to be the chariot# the intellect thecharioteer# and the mind# the reins.”

#The 1panishads

"ost o! us hae )een taught that there are two er& separate nerous s&stems: oluntar& andinoluntar&. The oluntar& s&stem allows &ou to carr& out intentional actiities such as )rushing &ourteeth, walking, running, or writing a letter to a !riend. The inoluntar& s&stem is responsi)le !oractiities such as the regulation o! digestion, )lood pressure, and )od& temperature. Here(s a little exercise to try

@pen and close your hand and notice how you do it. 8ift your eyebrows and then relax them. =reathe in deeply# then let that breath go. "hese are all actions available to us through voluntary pathways. Now# try in the same way to tell your heart to speed up. "ell it to slow down. "ell your whiteblood cells to increase in number. 0low down your digestive processes. "ell your thyroid# youradrenals# or your salivary glands to secrete. *ou cant, o! course, since there is no oluntar& pathwa& o! neurons aaila)le to carr& theinstructions to these sites, or to alter the actiit& o! the muscles within &our stomach or intestine, or tochange the muscular tension in the walls o! &our )lood essels. *ou cant do it )ecause this, the so/called inoluntar&, or autonomic nervous system# does not respond to commands gien in this manner. But thats not the end o! the stor&. 't turns out that, indeed, there are wa&s &ou can oluntaril&

in!luence &our inoluntar& nerous s&stem. To test this out !or &oursel!, lets see what we can do withan image. '! possi)le, close &our e&es and hae someone read the !ollowing to &ou while &ou do assuggested. +r &ou can record it on tape and isuali;e as &ou listen to it pla&ed )ack. This is animportant experience to hae. Imagine a lemon. Imagine you are holding the lemon in your hand. Eisuali-e it clearly in yourmind. Bou can see its color# feel its bumpy surface# and see the stem. Imagine that you drop it on awooden table and hear the sound it ma$es. Imagine you have a very sharp $nife and are cutting thelemon in two. 0ee the cut surfaces glistening# and notice that you have even cut one of the seeds in half. Now visuali-e a spar$ling clean glass and suee-e the ,uice from one of those halves into the glass. 0eeit run down the side of the glass. Now imagine that you are lifting the glass towards your face so you can smell the lemony flavor

of the ,uice. 1lace the rim of the glass in your mouth and as you tilt the glass up# let the lemon ,uice flow down the side of the glass into your mouth. "aste the lemony taste. "aste the sourness of the ,uiceas it flows over and around the sides of your tongue. 0avor the tart flavor# and notice the flow of saliva. Through the use o! mental imager&, &ou are a)le to hae an in!luence on a normall& inoluntar& process @saliation. omplete the !ollowing imager& in the same wa&: Imagine yourself standing on top of a narrow bric$ wall about two inches wide. Imagine thatthis bric$ wall is along the edge of the roof of a 7G2story building. 8ean forward a little bit and loo$



down the side of the building. 0ee the window sills ,utting out. 0ee the sidewal$ and the street fallbelow with the cars and people loo$ing li$e little ants. It(s a bree-y day. 0ometimes the wind blows from behind you and you have to pull yourself bac$ a little bit to $eep from tipping too far over theedge. /arefully# bend forward a little bit and loo$ down at the sidewal$ far below you. Notice what you feel inside. Notice your heart. /an you feel it speed up! Notice the emotions#the fear. 1erhaps you are able to feel your palms sweating. /an you feel the increase in your heart

rate! How about tension in your stomach muscles! "ost people who do this exercise will notice eleations o! their heart rates, sweat& palms, andincreased tension in their stomach muscles or elsewhere in their )odies. +! course, i! &ou areaccustomed to heights or it doesnt )other &ou to look down !rom a high eleation, this exercise ma&not hae as much o! an e!!ect on &ou as on a person who is uncom!orta)le with heights. %imilarl&, itwill hae a greater e!!ect on a person who is highl& isual than it will on people who are notisuali;ers. Although the !actors we are in!luencing in these two isuali;ation examples are ratherelementar&, the )asic processes we are emplo&ing, selectie awareness and imager&, can )e used in awide ariet& o! wa&s to create positie change. *our unconscious mind and nerous s&stem do not distinguish well )etween a cortical image@image within &our )rain that is the result o! actual stimuli in the present enironment and an imagethat is the result o! !antas&, a dream, or intentional imager& through selectie awareness. This is wh& our ph&siolog& changes with an imagined lemon @we saliate, and our hearts speedup when we isuali;e something scar& or exciting. *ou will soon see how this !act can ena)le us todirectl& in!luence ph&siological processes with imager&. This su)tle )ut power!ul o)seration puts aalua)le tool at our disposal. 't proides us with a wa& to alter the associations that we hae to ariousstimuli. How "houghts Form Images

“Imagination is more important than $nowledge.”

#Al)ert Einstein

A series o! thoughts is much like a series o! sounds pla&ed on a drum. When separate anddiscrete, the& hae no meaning, )ut when pla&ed according to a coherent pattern, the& do. The& hae arh&thm. The meaning o! a er& catch& rh&thm is expressed )& &our !oot, which starts to tap in timewith it. '! arranged randoml&, the !ollowing words hae little meaning: years# four# seven# forefathers#this# ago# brought# score# upon# our# forth# land. But when the& are arranged according to a speci!ic,intentional pattern, we get the )eginning o! the -ett&s)urg Address: 70ourscore and seen &ears ago

our !ore!athers )rought !orth upon this land...8 +ur experience o! that latter grouping is 5uite di!!erent!rom the !ormer. %imilarl&, when a series o! thoughts that hae a certain common element or pattern pass throughour minds, an image will tend to !orm. The image ma& hae auditor&, isual, or kinesthetic attri)utesand sensations o! touch, !eeling, and moement, or a com)ination o! those 5ualities. As the result o!holding such an image in &our mind, &ou will )egin to notice ph&siological and emotional changes inthe rest o! the mind and )od& that are consistent with that image. Thats what happened when &ousaliated with the image o! the lemon, and wh& &our heart sped up and &our stomach !elt 5ueas& when&ou imagined &oursel! looking oer the edge o! the roo!.



"he asic .ule of Imagery

When an image is held in the mind, it will tend to elicit !rom the nerous s&stem @and through it!rom all the other organs o! the )od& reactions that are consistent with that image. %o, as &ou can see, the responses o! the unconscious leels o! &our mind and )od&, includingtheir a)ilit& to per!orm optimall& or to undergo a healing change, is the result not o! what &ou want ,

what &ou tell &oursel!, or what the true reality o! the situation might )e. (ather, it is the result o! animage that &ou are holding in &our mind. "ost people do not recogni;e this simple !act. And een those who do seldom know how toalter that image to produce the responses the& want. %o the 5uestion arises, 7What are the rules !oraltering our inner images so that a trul& positie and health& result occursM8 When &ou hae learned thetools and methods to modi!& &our inner images, &ou hae the power to change &our inner chemicalenironment and, thus, to make pro!ound healing changes in &our li!e. The secret o! inner magic, o! mental medicine, o! 7mind oer matter,8 starts with &our thoughts.To understand how this works, isuali;e &our thoughts as )eing )asicall& electrical in nature. The& areshort/lied4 the& come and go 5uickl&. When the& are completel& random, the& cancel each other out,and no image !orms. When, oer a period o! time, a string o! thoughts is maintained in a coherent manner @ashappens when we use isuali;ation exercises such as the one inoling a sour lemon a)oe an image!orms. This image is represented within the cortex )& minute 5uantities o! chemicals calledneuropeptides. These, in turn, induce deeper leels o! the )rain to secrete the chemicals o! emotion #/epinephrine, serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, and enkephalins#which are present in much larger5uantities. 'n parallel with and in response to these emotions, ph&siological changes are induced.

These chemicals eoke our perception o! emotion, and through the peripheral nerous s&stem,as well as the circulator& s&stem, the& induce corresponding changes in the muscles, glands, and otherorgan s&stems o! the )od&, including the immune s&stem. "he Pathway of Mind*ody hange

How )eauti!ull& and elegantl& designed is the mind/)od& complex Thoughts, )ecause the& areelectrical, ma& )e produced and changed without moing a great deal o! mass around4 the changes arerepresented )& shi!ts in electrons and electrical !ields, which weigh almost nothing. This gies usenormous !lexi)ilit& and selectiit& o! thought, and ena)les us to whip through complex reasoningtasks with lightning speed. When a series o! thoughts cluster to !orm a concept or image, the cere)ral cortex secretesneuropeptides. These molecules are much larger than electrons4 the& hae more mass, and the& dont



'n an analogous manner, eer& human )eing is )orn with a light, )right, !ree, happ& spirit. Li!e presents numerous challenges. When handled properl&, these challenges proide opportunities tounderstand, digest, assimilate, en=o&, and grow. %ometimes these challenges are too great !or the mindto success!ull& manage4 oerwhelmed )& the stress, the )rain ceases to process in!ormation and thetotal s&stem goes into a 7!ight/or/!light8 reaction, triggering aoidance )ehaiors and strategies to

de!end and surie. This surial )ehaior )ecomes linked to the memor& o! the eent and is thus programmed intothe s&stem. 't persists as either a de!ensie reaction, in the !orm o! anxiet&, pho)ias, somati;ation, pro=ection, displacement, or as a distorted sel!/image or world iew. %ignal tracing in a radio is !airl& simple4 signal tracing in a computer is much more complex. Asa result, the onl& reasona)le wa& to approach the repair o! a computer is to proide a program thatena)les the computer to examine itsel! and diagnose the source o! its own d&s!unction. Accordingl&, 'set out to deelop a process )& which the human )io/computer could trace its own deelopmentthrough time and isolate those experiences that had oerwhelmed it and produced the processing errorsthat appeared as disease and d&s!unction in present/da& li!e. The result was the %electie AwarenessExploration. The %electie Awareness Exploration has proen to )e a highl& e!!ectie wa& to sleuth out theessence o! a ps&chological or ph&sical pro)lem. The in!ormation it proides ena)les us to restore )alance and, in e!!ect, write a new script !or the mind/)od& complex at whicheer leel is )ehaingd&s!unctionall&. 't has also allowed us to make great strides toward a more complete understanding o!how the human ps&choph&siological s&stem operates and how we can assist in the healing process. Because ' used and re!ined the Exploration with the ma=orit& o! patients and clients ' workedwith )etween C9 and CK, the in!ormation that it has generated proides an excellent !oundation onwhich to )uild our understanding. 'n this )ook, ' hae illustrated m& !indings with cases in which anExploration was per!ormed4 howeer, this should not )e interpreted to mean that this is alwa&s thetherapeutic approach o! choice. 't is onl& one o! the approaches in m& therapeutic repertoire, &et it still proides the )est wa& ' hae !ound to understand ps&choph&siological disease and deep healing. 2et 6s #0plore "ogether

The deeper mind has a record o! all memories, especiall& those concerning eents that led toour present conditioning. '! ' am working with a person who would like to change a recurring pattern,whether it )e an emotion, a ha)it, or a ph&sical s&mptom, we )egin )& going into a deep state o!relaxation. This permits us to explore the past more e!!ectiel&, while remaining calm throughout the process. ' guide the deeper mind to “go bac$ to some time in the past# ,ust a few moments before that pattern was triggered on one particular occasion.” We )egin with a more recent eent, then graduall&reiew eents more distant in time. We reiew the eents, the emotions, and the )ehaiors that themind used at the time to deal with what usuall& turns out to hae )een an oerwhelming experience.The di!!erence is that we use the state o! deep relaxation to keep anxiet& and tension within tolera)lelimits. Eentuall&, we get )ack to the er& !irst time this kind o! situation and this kind o! reaction eeroccurred. The next instruction goes something like this: +s you go through this scene# see what is happening# hear what is being said# and feel exactlywhat is happening in your body. What emotions are you feeling! What is happening in your thin$ing! +s the child that you are# how are you interpreting your experience! What are you concluding about yourself# the world# and your relationship to it! What beliefs are forming# or being reinforced! We slow time down so that an instantaneous response is not necessar&. This time, as the deepermind iews the situation, there is an opportunit& !or the now more mature s&stem to deelop a muchmore creatie and appropriate response. The next instruction is:



+s you re2enter this scene# you remain completely relaxed. Bou understand that you are goingto ma$e it through safely. +s you go through it this time# you understand much more than you did the first time. +s you go through# pay attention to each thing that happens# and allow yourself to imaginethat the wise# adult part of you is present to support you. What do you see as you go through it this timethat you didn(t see the first time! What do you understand now that you didn(t understand the first timethrough! How would you li$e to respond this time!

$ext, ' hae them relie this same eent, this time appl&ing the new, more adaptie response. +s you go through it this time# feel yourself responding the way you really want to. Notice theeffect of responding this way. Notice how others behave when you do it this way. o all the waythrough this scene feeling yourself calm# confident# and strong4 visuali-e the $ind of success you reallywant to have here. <ewrite this scene so that it comes out exactly the way you want it to because youhave been able to respond adeuately from your center# with intelligence# wisdom# and clarity. We rewrite each scene in this wa& and ' record man& o! m& suggestions on tape. ' then suggestthat this last process )e repeated dail& !or the next week or two. 'n addition to the memories we haereiewed, ' suggest that i! the& can !ind an& other memories that echo this same pattern, the& can reliethem in the same wa& numerous times. $ext, ' suggest that the& pro=ect ahead to the near !uture to imagine situations much like thosewe hae =ust dealt with. ' hae them isuali;e going through these scenes in a wa& that is relaxed andcon!ident, allowing them to respond rather than react, to appl& high/5ualit& solutions that )ring all their adult skills into the picture. The rescripting process inoles reisuali;ing past situations and practicing the new )ehaior inthe deepl& relaxed state. A!ter a week or more o! dail& practice, people o!ten !ind that their responseshae changed, and their a)ilit& to deal with !ormerl& upsetting and trou)lesome situations has markedl&improed. The ph&sical, mental, and emotional s&mptoms improe as well.

&pplying the %elective &wareness #0ploration

While ' use the Exploration in m& practice, ' do not wish to impl& it is a panacea or that it is theonl& wa& to approach deep healing. $ot eer&one is willing and a)le to reach deep into the past,recoer the primar& source o! negatie programming, and rescript their lies !rom that point !orward.Di!!erent disciplines use di!!erent tools and procedures, each with its own range o! alidit&, and thereare those that can )ene!it !rom each di!!erent approach. Een i! we dont !ind a critical eent in our past, ' )eliee that such an eent does exist, thoughit ma& )e deepl& )uried. -ien the right conditions, we could uncoer it, rescript the s&stem, and produce deep healing. Een i! ' use a di!!erent approach, ' hae !aith that such a change is possi)le, and' usuall& encourage people to work in that direction. What is most essential in working to support deep healing is the attitude o! the practitionertoward the client. '! &ou are doing work o! this kind on &our own, !or sel!/healing, it is important that&ou adopt a positie attitude toward &oursel! and &our own a)ilit& to achiee &our goals. This is anessential ingredient in this work. ' know that people hae the power to change and hae !ound prior li!eexperiences to )e potent resources !or empowering that healing. That positie, experience/)asedapproach is one o! the ke& components to success. The !ollowing examples will show how selectie awareness and deep relaxation can )e used tocreate li!e/changing imager&. 2osing $eight "hrough eep Healing

When the )od& takes in more !ood energ& @calories than it )urns through the actiities o!liing, it stores the rest as !at. "an& people are oerweight )ecause the& eat !or emotional reasons,rather than )ecause their )od& needs more !uel to )urn. As with most unwanted ha)its, the reason !orthis seemingl& irrational )ehaior is that it is a wa& o! lowering the internal stress leel, o! producing



an inner sense o! peace and !ul!illment. +!ten, such eating is impulsie. '! &ou hae eer struggled with eating pro)lems, &ou know thatin response to stress &ou suddenl& )ecome aware o! a desire to eat, and rather than )ehae in a wa& thatwill keep &our weight at a health& leel, &ou gie in to that desire to eat. Later &ou ma& punish &oursel! with guilt. This, o! course, completes the icious circle and ensures the maintenance o! the unwanted )ehaiors, as well as the su!!ering related to them.

Here, again, we see that een though the s&mptoms are on the ph&sical leel, the source o! theim)alance is elsewhere. 0re5uentl&, proiding high/5ualit& in!ormation and a new image o! how torelate to sel! and the world is all that is needed. The ha)it o! smoking is actuall& easier to )reak )ecause &ou can stop cigarettes completel&.Eating is essential to li!e. We cannot stop eating4 we can onl& eat more wisel&. This wisdom )egins inthe )od&, !or it knows what it needs. +ur =o) is to )ecome aware o! this and to guide our )ehaior tore!lect it. There are two classes o! !ood. The !irst group o! !oods represents things that &our mind and )od& need !or nurturance and per!ormance. <ust as deer know when to come to the salt lick, and dogsknow when to eat )lades o! grass !or their health, people also seem to hae an inner sense o! whatsgood !or them. The second group is made up o! !oods that are eaten to reliee pain and stress,sometimes called 7com!ort !oods.8

#ating Plaster

+s a young physician wor$ing in New Bor$ /ity hospitals# it was not unusual to see children from poor neighborhoods coming to the hospital with lead poisoning# which they got from eating chipsof paint from the tenement walls. +ctually# the $ids weren(t interested in eating paint chips. "he paint chips ,ust happened to be part of the chun$s of plaster wall they would eat every day. "heir bodies craved plaster because theirinner sensors detected that they were not receiving enough calcium in their diets. "he mothers werenot breast2feeding them# and they were not getting enough mil$ or other calcium2rich food. When thebody experienced the diminishing calcium# it led these children to eat the unpleasant2tasting walls oftheir slum houses# and with it# the toxic lead2based paint. In medical studies# when children are given a wide assortment of foods and allowed to ma$etheir own choices# they end up eating a balanced diet. It seems that there is an inner wisdom that$nows the healthy balance.

2istening for Hums and $histles

The !oods that &our mind and )od& need can )e thought o! as those that 7hum.8 A !ood humswhen &ou !eel the desire !or it at a deep leel. *ou ma& wake up in the morning wanting that !ood, andthoughts a)out it continue all da& or een !or the next !ew da&s. When &ou eat it, &ou usuall& sighdeepl&, relax, and !ocus on the deep satis!action it )rings &ou. These tend to )e !oods that hae some

nutritional alue to them, and are seldom @)ut perhaps occasionall& sweets and empt& calories. The second group o! !oods are those !oods that 7whistle8 at &ou. 'magine, &ou are walkingdown "ain %treet or through the mall a)sentmindedl& looking in store windows at clothes and sportinggoods. Eating is the last thing on &our mind. %uddenl&, &our nose picks up the delicious !ragrance o! hot chocolate chip cookies. *our e&es5uickl& discoer the source o! this incredi)le aroma: 7*e +lde hocolate Heart Attack ookie%hoppe.8 An image o! a plump cookie toasted to a golden )rown and )ulging with huge, melt/in/&our/mouth pockets o! chocolate, hot !rom the oen, !ills &our mind. Be!ore &ou know it, &ou hae a )ag inone hand and a hal!/eaten chocolate chip cookie in the other.



That was a !ood that whistled at &ou *ou were seduced. Learning the di!!erence )etween a whistle and a hum is the !irst step toward changing theunwanted )ehaior. The second step is to learn through the tools o! selectie awareness how torecogni;e when &ou are )eing whistled at: then its time to stop, relax, and tune in to the emotionwithin that needs &our attention. "a&)e its an old !eeling o! )eing lonel& that &ou !elt as a child, aneed !or 7sweetness8 in &our li!e that &ou satis!ied with cand&. Whateer it is, &ou let &oursel! !eel it.

Then &ou assure &oursel! that as an adult &ou hae more e!!ectie wa&s o! satis!&ing this need. A!ter dealing wisel& with &our emotion, &ou reconnect with &our deeper meanings, sense o! personal purpose, and long/range ision. 1sing this, &ou empower &oursel! through !uture imagerehearsals to make the choice that is )est !or &ou. A!ter &ou hae made the proper choice and )ehaedaccordingl&, &ou positiel& rein!orce &our success!ul )ehaior )& congratulating &oursel! and notingthat, indeed, &ou do hae )oth the tools and the will to meet this challenge in a new, more e!!ectiewa&. eep Healing ysfunctional ehaviors

The notion o! things that whistle or hum applies not onl& to !oods )ut to other actiities as well.hoices that hum to &ou will !eel as good to &ou tonight, tomorrow, next week, and next &ear as the&do right now. +! course, we cannot alwa&s )e certain, )ut i! we think with the )ig picture in mind, thatis, how what ' am doing toda& will a!!ect me tomorrow or next &ear, we are going to )e much morelikel& to recogni;e the wise choices when the& appear. Also, haing clear, deeper meanings, a long/term ision, and a sense o! purpose in our lies ena)les us to think not onl& smarter )ut more wisel&. Alcohol will whistle to the alcoholic, cigarettes to the cigarette smoker. But these are not what&ou reall& want. *our ideal image, &our deeper sel!/perception, the clear, health& iew o! &oursel! that&ou are deeloping, will guide &ou toward what &ou reall& want and !ree &ou !rom the )onds o!unwanted ha)its, o)sessions, and pho)ias. Freeing 3ourself from the "yranny of the Past

“"he past is the present unrolled for understanding. "he present is the past rolled up for action.”

#E. "iller

't is not alwa&s eas& to write a new script !or &oursel!. Behaiors &ou hae )ecome accustomedto oer a long period o! time )egin to !eel natural. Then, it )ecomes hard to think o! an& other wa& o!doing things, een to imagine an& other wa& o! doing things. *ou tend to get to a place o! shrugging&our shoulders and sa&ing, 7What can ' doM8 or 7' guess thats =ust how ' am.8 lasping Hands

/lasp your hands# interlacing the fingers of one with the other. Notice that you do this in acertain way# with either the right or left thumb on top. Now separate your hands and clasp them so that the opposite thumb is on top. Notice that thisway of lacing your fingers is the mirror image of the other. +lthough it loo$s almost exactly the same#the feeling is very different. It turns out that whenever you(ve clasped your hands on all the thousandsof occasions you have done so in the past# you(ve probably always done it in the same way. All that we are, nearl& eer&thing that we do, and generall& our a)ilit& to en=o& li!e, is )asedupon our past experiences. That we hae learned to eat, to dance, to write, to sing#all these were



learned in what we call the past. %till, how o!ten do we recogni;e that we or others are, in su)tle orenormous wa&s, somehow stuck in the pastM Except !or those rare occasions when we are con!ronted with actual ph&sical threats or when wehae done something to cause real pain to another person, the paral&;ing emotions o! guilt, !ear, andshame that we experience hae their roots more in the past than in the present. %imilarl&, theine!!ectie, regretta)le, or een hurt!ul )ehaiors we appl& in our relationships, the poor personal

ha)its and a huge num)er o! our ph&sical diseases also hae their roots in past learnings that wehaent &et unlearned. +n the other hand, the past no longer exists. The truth o! the matter is that it is totall& gone, andthe onl& thing that remains o! it are our memories# patterns o! neurochemicals painted on themem)ranes o! our cortical cells @cells in the )rain. Were reminded, once again, o! the old sa&ing: 7'!&ou alwa&s do what &oue alwa&s done, &oull alwa&s get what &oue alwa&s gotten.8 <ust as we hae )ecome accustomed to clasping our hands in a certain wa&, our eer&da& )ehaiors hae )ecome so automatic that the& seem natural to us. Een i! the wa& were doingsomething is causing us pain, doing it an& other wa& can seem unnatural. "ost o! us neer considerclasping our hands a di!!erent wa&. And most o! us neer reall& consider the enormous num)er o!options aaila)le to us in terms o! choosing new )ehaior. "ost o! us hae no idea how man& things inour lies would )e a!!ected i! we could onl& change our patterns o! thinking. Be!ore an& change can take place, howeer, we !irst hae to )e aware that it is possible tochange. $ext, we must hae the intelligence and the experience to recogni;e the wisdom o! makingchanges. Third, we must discoer tools that can help us accomplish our chosen goals. 0inall&, we mustappl& those tools and !ollow up. ' o!ten tell m& clients, 7The past is histor&, the !uture a m&ster&. (ight now is a gi!t. Thats wh&its called the present .8 There is onl& this moment, and in this moment we can examine what o! the pasthas )een recorded in our )rain cells. We can examine what our memor& believes happened, whatresponses we tried, which ones worked and which ones !ailed. "ost importantl&, i! we do this while ina relaxed state, we can see that there are more e!!ectie wa&s o! dealing with such situations. Then wecan write new scripts !or ourseles, practice these new approaches to li!e through mental imager&, and!inall& pro=ect them !orward into the !uture. The !ollowing should help &ou design health& responses )&accessing &our own deep inner wisdom.

E'&E(IENTIAL !O(O)T .?

(ESC(I&TIN# +O)( BE%A*IO(

0or each o! the !ollowing items, think a)out &our ph&sical health, &our ha)itual )ehaior patterns, &our emotional reactions, &our characteristic wa& o! thinking a)out things, and &ourrelationship with others and the world around &ou. '! &ou need reminders a)out what we mean )& 7sel!/image,8 7world iew,8 7relationship with &our enironment,8 or an& other concepts suggested )elow,go )ack a !ew pages in this chapter to reiew the sections where these terms and ideas are explained. Q What aspects o! &our sel!/image are supportie o! health and successM 0or example, i! &oulook upon &oursel! as a person who is competent, and who generall& gets what &ou want, chances arethat &ou hae en=o&ed at least some grati!&ing success in li!e. Q Which aspects o! &our sel!/image are not supportie o! good health and successM 0or example,&ou might note that iewing &oursel! as )eing dependent on the eents o! the external world places &ouin the position o! )eing a ictim, una)le to achiee &our goals )ecause the enironment neer !ull&supports what &ou want to do. Q As &ou think a)out the a)oe, what would &ou like to change, and wh&M Q What aspects o! &our world iew are empowering and accurate, and which are harm!ul and )ased on &our pre=udicesM What would &ou like to change and wh&M 0or example, i! &ou are a7per!ectionist,8 &ou ma& o!ten !ind &oursel! =udging others. The trou)le is that &ou also =udge &oursel!



the same wa&. And since no)od& is eer per!ect, the per!ectionist in &ou alwa&s looks upon &ou as!alling short. This is hardl& an empowering world iew Q What aspects o! the wa&s &ou perceie &our relationship to &our enironment work well, andin what wa&s does &our inner map o! these relationships need to )e updatedM What would &ou like tochange, and wh&M 0or example, do &ou see the world as &our adersar&, against whom &ou mustalwa&s competeM +r do &ou see &our world as )asicall& cooperatie, with whom &ou hae a special

)ond that helps &ou achiee &our goalsM Q Decide on a plan to change one or two o! the a)oe items that &ou think will respond to thetechni5ues o! deep relaxation andOor sel!/a!!irmation. 0or example, &ou might decide to start iewing&our relationship with the world as a cooperatie one rather than an adersarial one. Put this plan intoaction. Q What are the common thought and image patterns that tend to linger in &our mindM 0orexample, do &ou iew the world as )asicall& cruel or )asicall& loingM What are the emotional, ph&sical, )ehaioral, and social conse5uences o! theseM 0or instance, the ision o! a cruel world cancause us to !eel depressed, ph&sicall& )urdened @carr&ing the weight o! the world, and ma& cause us toact de!ensiel& and hostilel& most o! the time. Think a)out &our own particular patterns, and decidewhich &ou would like to change, and how would &ou change them. Q hoose some )ehaior patterns @o! mind, )od&, or emotion &ou would like to rescript.(escript them as descri)ed, or use the tape Writing Bour @wn 0cript# which ' cite in the (esourcessection. Q Think o! a )ehaior &ou !ind &oursel! carr&ing out to satis!& moties that gie onl& short/termrelie! and satis!action )ut that hurt &ou in the long run @!or example, smoking, losing &our temper, oroereating. That )ehaior, dependenc&, or addiction is a 7whistler.8 $ow relax, get in touch with &ourideal sel!/image, as well as the !uture ision that &ou !eel strongl& has heart and meaning !or &ou.Decide whats reall& going to sere &ou )est oer the long haul. What is the wisest choice !or &ou tomakeM all this choice the one that 7hums8 to &ou. Q (ewrite seeral o! those past eents, making the wiser choice @the hum. Then isuali;e !uturesituations where &ou will )e con!ronted with the same options, and isuali;e &oursel! a)le to make thechoice &ou reall& want to make. Imagery

The !ollowing excerpts !rom the cassette programs, Writing Bour @wn 0cript and 1ower Eision,show how past eents ma& )e rescripted. +s you loo$ at this scene from the past# you can feel completely relaxed...viewing yourself as you would watch an actor on a screen. "his event is past now...and you feel no tension over it...you canwatch it from beginning to end. Now rewind that scene# but this time as you see it# you(re going to rewrite your script...imagining how it would loo$ to see yourself responding to the situation with behavior that ismore acceptable to you. <elive this scene now...responding in the way you want to respond...and en,oy feeling in charge of the situation. Bou feel good about your new behavior...and how people around youmay be reacting to it. Bou feel comfortable and satisfied as you handle things ,ust the way you wouldli$e...let this scene complete itself now...and as you leave it# let yourself feel really good about the way you handled it.

$riting 3our 'wn %cript for Future ehavior

<ust as &ou can rewrite the past, &ou can write a desira)le script !or &our !uture. The !ollowingimager&, excerpted !rom Imagine Bourself 0lim# is an example o! how &ou can write &our own script )&



pro=ecting !orward into the !uture, and isuali;ing a new )ehaior. %ince man& people )ecomeoerweight )ecause the& oereat, and the& oereat )ecause the& do not pa& attention to the 7hum8 o!the !ood, imager& helping to create a new relationship with !ood can )e er& e!!ectie. This excerptcontains imager& to slow down the process o! eating while increasing &our en=o&ment o! that mostessential experience. ' include this exercise here as a model and guide !or writing &our own new scripts, whether it )e

!or changing an eating pattern or !or an& other pattern &ou might wish to change in &our li!e. $otice in particular how the script !ocuses on the senses, )ringing &our attention into the present. $otice how itconcentrates on the goal toward which &ou are moing, asking &ou to descri)e it as i! &ou had alread&!ull& achieed it and were completel& en=o&ing this new wa& o! )eing. 0lowly focus your awareness upon those senses that can help you en,oy and be satisfied by theright amounts of the right $inds of food. radually# let yourself see in front of you a dish with the $indof food on it that will help you reach your goal most rapidly. 1icture it clearly in your mind(s eye. Bour ability to taste is becoming greater...you are more aware...you appreciate the flavor of foods...subtle nuances of seasoning. Bou en,oy the textures and flavors of fruits and vegetables. Bou eat slowly and you chew your food very well. Bou are not distracted while you are eating...therefore you feel full uite soon. Imagine yourself beginning to eat...selecting a small amount of food on the end of your for$.Bou spend a few moments noticing the color# the texture# and the shapes of the food. +s you lift ittowards your mouth# you feel the weight of your for$ and the weight of the food on it...you en,oy...asthe food gets near your nose...its fragrance...you smell your food and en,oy it fully and completely# for you $now that the essence of the flavor of food is in its smell. Bou slowly place the food in your mouth# but even before beginning to chew it you feel it withthe tip of your tongue# the roof of your mouth# and the inner surfaces of your lips...you feel itstemperature...its texture...its consistency. Bou are letting this be a really sensual experience.

As &ou train &oursel! to eat in this slow and care!ul wa& @or make some other change that &oudesire, &ou en=o& &our !ood more, &ou are satis!ied much more 5uickl&4 and stick&, !attening !oods are

no longer pleasura)le or attractie. &ffirmations

“I am bringing my mind# body# emotions# and actions into greater and greater harmony withmy spirit.” “I ta$e the time to nurture the best parts of me.” “%y diet# exercise# sleep# and meditation patterns all support my image idea.” “&very day# in every way# I(m becoming better and better.” “&ach time I visuali-e myself the way I want to be# I become more and more this person#because this is who I really am deep down inside.”

C Damasio, Antonio @ Descartes(&rror &motion# <eason and the Human =rain, Aon Books,CG. "iller, Emmett4 Writing Bour @wn 0cript# two cassettes, %ource assettes Learning %&stems.This is a complete program !or changing old responses.

HAPTE( ELE?E$



"hroughout my tal$# I felt nervous and isolated# the heavy spectacles slipped forward on my perspiring nose# and I had to continually# nerd2li$e# push them bac$ up with my forefinger. @f course# I couldn(t listen very accurately to the speech I was giving# I was too busy being critical of my lac$ ofcontact# the errors I was ma$ing in reading and how foolish I must have loo$ed struggling to loo$ overor around the huge frames to see if there was any one left awa$e. "hen again# every time there was some movement or shifting about# I too$ it as a sign of their boredom and restlessness.

It is said that the mar$ of the true professional is to do what needs to be done# when it needs tobe done# whether you feel li$e it or not# and do a good ,ob. If that(s the mar$ of a true professional#then on that day# I was certainly a professional. I struggled bravely on and read my speech with asmuch gusto and conviction as I could muster under the circumstances. "hen came that wonderful# yetterrible# moment?the moment at which the tal$ and the stress associated with it would end. "heterrible part was that I would have to remove my glasses# survey the damage# and receive theinevitable evaluation. +s I removed my glasses# I could see people standing up all over the auditorium. 0tanding up towal$ out! No# the hands were moving bac$ and forth# and my beclouded mind began to register that thethunderous sound reaching my ears was their applause. I was receiving a standing ovation5

My Mental Filing abinet

'n the )ack o! m& mind, ' hae a !iling ca)inet, and in that ca)inet there is a !ile !older. The ta)on this !ile !older sa&s, 70A'TH '$ %EL0.8 The su)title sa&s, 7Press on, hae !aith in who &ou are andwhat &ou stand !or, do the )est with what &ou hae, and trust &oursel!.8 'nside that !ile !older are theimages that make up this memor& o! m& !irst lecture with reading glasses. Also in that imaginar& !older are arious a!!irmations and wise 5uotations, such as the!ollowing.

1ress on. Nothing in the world can ta$e the place of persistence. "alent will not4 nothing ismore common than unsuccessful men with talent. enius will not4 unrewarded genius is almost a

proverb. &ducation alone will not4 the world is full of educated derelicts. 1ersistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

#Author unknown

Wheneer ' relie this scene, power!ul !eelings o! con!idence, !aith, determination, andcommitment !low through eer& part o! me. An& time ' need these !eelings, ' can go within and !indthis !ile !older. This is what ' re!er to as a 7re!erence memor&.8

.eference Memories+ &n Inner File of Personal .esources

'n m& closet ' hae a num)er o! out!its to choose !rom. ' hae a !ine three/piece suit4 when 'wear it with a taste!ul tie and imitation diamond tie tack, people see me as a success!ul, conseratie ph&sician. 'n contrast, m& )lue sweatsuit with the stripes down the legs makes me look like a marathonrunner training !or his next race. When ' wear m& =eans and )lack cow)o& hat, people =okingl& call me7lint8 and sa&, 7-o ahead, make m& da&.8 ' hae other resources as well. +n m& )ooksheles ' hae a collection o! Ds. %ome contain $ew Age/st&le music and will induce !eelings o! relaxation and peace. Another group o! Ds,



containing Bachs =randenberg /oncertos, are inspiring and put me in touch with a sense o! grandeurand =o&. "& classic rock, A!ro/u)an, and reggae Ds make me want to dance. And it is irtuall&impossi)le !or me to listen to m& Beatles al)ums without singing along. "& mental !iling ca)inet o! re!erence memories seres a similar !unction. Each !older in thisca)inet holds an experience. The ta) on the !older has the name o! a !eeling or memor&, and when 'open it @in imager&, o! course, there is a memor& inside. When ' go into a state o! deep relaxation, '

can relie that memor& complete with isual details, the sounds that were around me at that time, thesensations in m& )od&, the emotions ' !elt, and the thoughts that were passing through m& mind. 'naddition, there are the intellectual learnings, a!!irmations, and 5uotes that are em)odied in that eent. <ust as ' can choose m& clothing to produce a speci!ic impression and e!!ect on the worldaround me, and =ust as ' can choose a D to ad=ust m& mood and m& leel o! ph&sical actiit& @tr&doing aero)ic exercise to slow classical music, ' can reach into m& mental !iling ca)inet, draw !orth a!older with a re!erence memor& in it, and produce a ps&choph&siological change. The idea o! re!erence memories !irst came to me while ' was hiking down the 2ai)a) trail in the-rand an&on $ational Park. Let me share that eent with &ou.

"he 8rand anyon

@ne spring wee$end a number of years ago# I had the good fortune of being flown to 1hoenix# +ri-ona# to teach a class. Now# 1hoenix is very near two of my favorite spots on the planet# the 1ainted Desert and the rand /anyon. 0o as soon as my teaching was done# I rented a mini2van# purchased aused mattress from a oodwill store# stuffed it in the bac$ of the mini2van# along with a 0tyrofoamchest filled to the brim with ice cubes# /oca2/olas# and cold cuts. In two hours# I was burning up theroad on the way to the rand /anyon. It was early afternoon when I arrived at the trailhead of the Caibab "rail. With a bottle ofwater in one hand and a bag full of carrots in the other# I started down. Within a few hours# I came to a place where the trail s$irted the edge of a cliff before it starteddownward again. =ecause it was already pretty late in the day# I decided it was prudent not to go further and decided to climb out onto some roc$s overloo$ing the cliff. I found one large conical2shaped boulder ,utting out over the cliff. It turned out that my legswould fit comfortably around it# much as if I were riding a horse. I straddled it and scooted forwarduntil I was virtually suspended in space out beyond the cliff. +round me# on three sides# I could nowloo$ down the 6#GGG2foot drop. In the distance# the mesas and buttes glowed dus$y rose in the low sunlight# set off by long blue shadows. 0ome low wispy clouds caressed some of the taller formations#and the s$y was a rich a-ure. 'ar below me# the high desert sands of the "onto 1lateau still radiated the day(s heat# and thewarm updrafts and convection currents smelled of the fragrant desert sage. +lmost di--y from the incense# I could loo$ down the sheer wall of shimmering red roc$ and see# far below me# the huge# blac$ desert ravens# wings spread# effortlessly rising in the convectioncurrents along the cliff face li$e so many freeloading hang gliders. "hey didn(t notice me# and as they passed barely an arm(s2distance away# I could hear the rubbing and suea$ing of their iridescent#blac$ feathers as they changed direction on meeting the cooler air over the rim of the cliff. I thought to myself# “Well# od# if you(ve been thin$ing of calling me up there# now would be areally good time to do it.” I felt li$e I was already in heaven. I closed my eyes and felt the roc$ I was straddling# and focused on the fragrant air. 0uddenly# I had a most peculiar thought. “&ven though my eyes are closed# I still feelwonderful. &ven if I hold my breath for a little while# this marvelous feeling doesn(t vanish. "hat(sbecause I $now I can open my eyes and breathe in and drin$ in all this beauty. I can breathe in and smell the sage. =ut the truth is# when my eyes are closed and I(m not breathing in# all I have is aneurochemical image of the rand /anyon on the cortex of my brain. +ctually# I could be anywhere



conscious and intentional#is important to our understanding. I(m having a conversation with my friend# describing how I went through great pains to meetwith a colleague at a recent conference but was# in the end# unable to ma$e contact. %y friendmentions to me that I sound angry. I stop for a moment and I loo$ within. I reali-e that I am# in fact# feeling anger. 1ntil m& !riend pointed out to me how ' was )ehaing, ' was unconscious o! how ' was !eeling.

When she pointed it out to me, ' was a)le, through a !ew moments o! inward re!lection, to )ecomeconscious o! m& !eelings o! anger. %imilarl&, lets sa& ' am tr&ing to remem)er the name o! the small town in 0rance where westa&ed !or a period o! time one summer. ' cannot )ring it to mind. ' am conscious o! the !act that 'know the name, although ' am not conscious o! precisel& what that name is. The name is present in m&unconscious mind. A !ew minutes later, !or no apparent reason, the name leaps into m& mind. At thatmoment, the name has )ecome conscious. Heres another example. 'm haing a disagreement with m& neigh)or a)out how high the !ence )etween our properties should )e. ' !ind him unreasona)le and er& !rustrating to deal with. -raduall&m& anger grows, and soon we are haing a heated argument. 't was not m& plan to )ecome angr&4 in!act, the anger is not helping the situation at all. ' am conscious o! m& !eelings een though ' am notintentionally choosing to )e angr& and )ehae in this wa&. 'm haing a pro)lem with another neigh)or. He repeatedl& )orrows m& tools and returns themeither dirt& or )roken. %ometimes he doesnt )other to return them at all. 0urthermore, he hasnt )eener& responsie to the gentle hints ' hae gien him that i! he is to )orrow m& things in the !uture, hellhae to return them in good shape. Perhaps, ' conclude, he needs to )e told in !irmer, more assertie,no/nonsense tones. ' !ocus on how un!airl& he is treating me, how he has ignored m& re5uests, and how much 'hae done !or him. -raduall& ' )egin to !eel angr& and resent!ul. ' am intentionall& choosing to !eelthese !eelings. The& will ena)le me to speak to him more aggressiel&. As ' tell him how disappointed ' am with his )ehaior, he seems to hear me !or the !irst time.7-osh, ' didnt reali;e what ' was doing or how it a!!ected &ou. Things hae )een so tops&/tur& in m&li!e latel&. 'm sorr&.8 'n this case, m& anger has )een )oth conscious and intentional. +! course, emotions are simpl& one kind o! )ehaior. +ther )ehaiors, !or example, mental or ph&sical ones, ma& )e unconscious or conscious, intentional or unintentional. +! course, the ast ma=orit& o! all our actions are )oth unconscious and unintentional, and thisis !ine, so long as the& support us in doing what we want to do and achieing what we want to achiee.When the& are not supportie o! those ends, it is important to )ecome conscious o! them so that wemight intentionall& make new choices and institute new patterns o! )ehaior. Intentional and 6nintentional .eference Memories

(e!erence memories, too, can )e either intentional or unintentional. 'ntentional re!erencememories are ones like m& 2ai)a) Trail memor&, which ' intentionally emplo& as a guide4 ' can purpose!ull& call it up into m& awareness an& time ' wish to experience the sense o! awe and =o& o! thatwonder!ul isit to the -rand an&on. +n the other hand, none o! us has that same leel o! intentionalit&with all our re!erence memories. 'n !act, most o! the )ehaiors that cause us, or others in our lies, painor displeasure hae their roots in memories that we are not intentionall& re!erencing. We can trace much o! our maladaptie )ehaior to memories )ased on earl& childhoodexperiences that were incoherent. 'n this case, incoherent re!ers to the wa& we perceied the originaleent#inaccurate, unclear, oerwhelming. '! there is con!usion @incoherence a)out the meaning o!what actuall& happened, the memories o! that eent can er& well end up )ecoming a re!erence !orinappropriate or maladaptie )ehaior in the !uture. Examples o! unintentional re!erence memories with incoherent elements that )ecome models



!or maladaptie )ehaior might include: cruelt& or unkindness, such as teasing schoolmates, sexuala)use, ph&sical a)use, an emotional or ph&sical trauma that was not sensitiel& handled, or the erraticemotions o! an alcoholic parent. 'ndeed, een parents who loe, and intend onl& the )est !or theirchildren, cannot guarantee that their kids wont incorporate some o! their li!e experiences incoherentl&. Incoherent .eference Memories4How Harmful Patterns &re reated

Although maladaptie patterns can deelop at an& time in our lies, we are at much greater riskas children. 'ncoherent responses occur and maladaptie patterns !orm when a persons @especiall& achilds a)ilit& to respond appropriatel& is oerwhelmed. "ost o!ten this happens when the eent werecon!ronted with is )e&ond our capacit& to !ull& understand. We simpl& dont hae the knowledge tomake sense o! whats happening or deelop an appropriate response. This results in the deelopment o! an incoherent image o! sel!, unierse, or inner map. This phenomenon is perhaps )est shown )&example.

CASE %ISTO(+: SALL+

%all& was sh& and retiring. Although she was commonl& known as one o! the gentlest, most polite people &oud eer hope to meet, this personalit& characteristic was not a er& positie one !orher. 't was actuall& the result o! her li!elong !ear o! asserting hersel! in an& wa&. %he could neerremem)er haing !elt good a)out hersel!, and een though she was married and had raised twochildren, she alwa&s had an inner !eeling o! loneliness. Her hus)and neer particularl& attended to her needs, and since she neer asked, he neerthought there was an&thing wrong with this. He simpl& saw her as sel!/su!!icient. %all& was depressed alot o! the time, and she accomplished little o! what she wanted )ecause she was a!raid that no matterwhat she did it would not )e good enough. %he descri)ed hersel! as 7m& own worst critic.8 Her ph&sical and mental a)ilities were 5uite a)oe aerage, so the& were not the pro)lem. Whatwas holding her )ack in her li!e was the inner perception she had o! hersel!. The earliest memor& wereached during an exploration session was as dramatic as it was reealing. +s the big red car with the red light on top vanished into the summer2green# New &ngland hills#0ally made a vow of silence. No matter how bad she felt# no matter how unfair the world seemed to be# she would ,ust ta$e it and never# never be a tattletale again. "he sound of the siren grew faint# and0ally felt very small# li$e the littlest three year old in the world. ust an hour ago# before she spoiled everything# it was a fine +ugust afternoon. "he sun washigh# the Eermont maples swayed rhythmically in the warm bree-es# and yellow duc$lings followedtheir mother in single file across the now2uiet surface of the pond. =ut 0ally wasn(t uiet. +ngrily# she stomped up the dirt path# $ic$ing one of her brother(s toytruc$s out of her way. “He(ll be sorry#” she thought. “He(ll get a span$ing li$e %ommy said. "hen hewon(t be mean to me anymore5” +s she neared the $itchen door# she made sure her sobbing was loud enough so her motherwould appreciate how hurt she felt. “%ommy5” she cho$ed out as the screen door slammed behindher# “=illy won(t play with me.” 0he felt a little surge of satisfaction inside as she saw her mother(sinitial reaction. =illy(s in trouble now5 “He(s ,ust floating in the pond on his stomach and won(t comeout and play with me.” 0ally was totally unprepared for what happened next. "he uietness of the afternoon was shattered by her mother(s screams and the crash of the glass mixing bowl she had been holding as it fell to the floor and burst into a thousand pieces. 0uddenly they were outside# and neighbors were coming from all directions. /onfused# 0allybegan to cry out# but no one paid any attention to her. "hey were all running down to the pond. Desperately she ran after them# screaming for them to stop. =ut no one did. "he whole world seemed to be falling apart. What had she done!



=y the time she reached the hilloc$ overloo$ing the cow pond# they had ta$en =illy out of thewater# and %r. Willis was beating him hard on the bac$ with his fists. @h# no5 "his wasn(t at all what she wanted to happen. “No# no# it(s o$ay# please stop. Don(t span$ him anymore#” she begged# trying in vain to pushthrough the excited crowd surrounding her seven2year2old brother. + strong hand and a frown firmly pushed her away.

0ally(s frustration turned to despair# and she threw herself to the ground behind the boathousein a torrent of helpless tears. "hen came the siren. &xhausted from fear and crying# her legs were toowatery to hold her. =y the time she had crawled around the corner# the doors of the big white truc$were being closed# with her %om# Dad# and =illy inside. “1lease come bac$#” she whimpered. “I won(t tattle ever again. I promise5” =ut it was no use. 0he never saw =illy again. +nd whenever she tried to as$ about him# %omburst into tears# and Daddy would tell her# “0top5 Don(t you see you(re upsetting your mother!” "henhe(d put his arm around %om and say# “"here# there.” 0oon 0ally stopped as$ing. +ll she $new was that she(d learned her lesson. 'n %all&s mind, this memor&, which she had not recalled since childhood, imprinted anindeli)le set o! )elie!s a)out the world, a)out hersel!, and a)out her relationship to others: that it wasdangerous to assert her needs, that as )ad as things might )e, i! &ou spoke up the& could get muchworse. %all& had learned a lesson, )ut it was the wrong lesson. 0rom that point on, she lied a li!ecrippled )& an incoherent set o! images o! hersel! and the world.

CASE %ISTO(+: >O%N

' was isiting m& !riend <ohn, and we were sitting on the so!a in his liing room haing aconersation as one o! his sons was pla&ing on the lawn and the other was cleaning up the kitchen. ' )egan to notice that, eer& once in a while, <ohn would look oer toward the kitchen, and he seemednerous in some wa&. 0inall&, ' stopped what ' was sa&ing to him and ' asked, 7<ohn, wh& do &ou keeplooking at the kitchen like thatM8 He answered, 7Tom is sweeping the !loor, and ' want to make sure that he doesnt leae the )room )& the door.8 ' thought this was a rather curious explanation. Wh& would he )e thinking a)out that, and wh&would it make him nerousM This is the stor& m& !riend told me: When <ohns grandmother was a little girl, she was sweeping the !loor in the kitchen. When she!inished sweeping, she le!t the )room standing )& the door and went out to pla&. While she was outside pla&ing, the wind )lew the )room so that it !ell across the doorwa&. $ot long a!ter that, her mothercame home !rom the grocer& store carr&ing two large )ags o! groceries. When she walked into thekitchen, she didnt see the )room. %he tripped oer it and !ell, )ags o! groceries spilling out onto the tile !loor. %he was in=ured )&the !all and had to go to the hospital to hae seeral lacerations stitched up. Because o! the su!!eringshe had caused her mother, the little girl was seerel& scolded. 't was all caused )& her leaing the )room near the door. %o she, o! course, was er& care!ul to teach her daughter neer to leae a )roomnear a door. Her daughter was m& !riends mother, and she passed the message on to him. And now hewas passing that message on to his children as well. When ' talked to his children, the&, too, had this!ear o! leaing the )room near the door. This was a pattern o! thinking that had come down through this!amil& !or generations. Eer&one in this !amil& !elt the horror o! leaing a )room at the door, &et most o! us hae pro)a)l& neer een considered this one o! li!es dangers. 'ts in this wa&, through man& di!!erent littleexperiences that occur in our lies, that we graduall& )egin to create our inner images o! the world andour !eelings a)out what is going on. Because each o! our experiences is as uni5ue as <ohns, we all



deelop our own complex set o! )elie!s and )ehaiors. Although these stories represent examples o! how a ma=or trauma can in!luence our lies,similar distortions o! less earth/shaking eents can also )e harm!ul. The multitude o! random eents weencounter as were growing up deelop into a panopl& o! stresses and tensions that ma& remain with us!oreer and can accumulate in our mind/)od& to produce harm!ul leels o! anxiet&, tension, or stress. How to reate and 6se .eference Memories

“"he opportunities of man are limited only by his imagination. =ut so few have imaginationthat there are ten thousand fiddlers to one composer.”

# harles 0. 2ettering

+ur goal is to )e a)le to pause, relax at will, and clear the mind and )od& o! all noise, all 7innerchatter.8 $ext, we want to )e a)le to choose the state o! consciousness we wish to )e in. We want tochoose the state that will gie rise to !eelings and )ehaiors that are most consistent with the goals

toward which we are presentl& working. %hi!ting to a di!!erent state o! consciousness inoles )ringinginto our minds a certain image that represents a positie and power!ul emotional state. This image ma&inole one or more sensor& channels4 it ma& )e isual, auditor&, kinesthetic @touch or moement, or acom)ination o! these. 'n our culture, we are usuall& taught that we are prett& much helpless when it comes to !eelings.We )eliee others can in!uriate us or 7make us !eel )ad.8 onsider, !or example, the phrase 7 falling inloe,8 with its connotations o! )eing a passie nonparticipant, or een a ictim. The message is that weare not in command o! our senses. While that ma& )e an appealing notion !or some, it has the e!!ect o!encouraging us to disaow an& responsi)ilit& in the matter. When we com)ine the notion o!helplessness !or our !eelings, with inade5uate training in experiencing our emotions, the prospect o!selecting one particular emotional 5ualit& and intentionall& 7turning it on8 ma& seem like a large

undertaking, indeed. But thats exactl& the challenge &oure a)out to take on. ack to Metaphors

(ecall that emotions are simpl& internal )ehaiors at the deeper leels o! our minds, in responseto what the& 7think8 is going on in the world. What those deeper leels thin$ is going on is a !unctiono! the chemical state o! the cortex, and this state is the result o! the images we are holding in our minds. Because we hae a wa& to intentionall& select the image we hold, we hae in our possession the power to choose one that generates the kinds o! inner chemistr& that we wish. %o, to !eel a particularkind o! emotion, )e it calm and receptie, excited, and enthusiastic, or power!ul and assertie, wesimpl& need to create a mental image that eokes such !eelings and then hold it clearl& in mind.(e!erence memories are inalua)le tools !or accomplishing this.

The richest source o! such images is &our own personal histor&. $earl& all o! us hae had anum)er o! emotionall& power!ul experiences !rom which to draw. *et, i! &ou walk up to someone andsa&, 7>uick, name the most power!ull& moing emotional experiences o! &our li!e,8 man& would!ind this a little di!!icult to do. +n the other hand, &ou might !ind &oursel! in a conersation this a!ternoon or tomorrow inwhich a su)=ect comes up that reminds &ou o! such an experience in &our past. As &ou tell the stor&,&ou )ecome more and more caught up in it. *ou !ind power!ul emotions o! =o&, loe, anger, and elationspontaneousl& coming to the sur!ace. '! &our !riend is attentie and excited )& &our stor&, &oull !ind&oursel! getting een more enthusiastic. 't is then that &ou ma& identi!& &our anecdote as a potential



re!erence memor&. '! &oure wise, &oull care!ull& presere it and !ile it awa& !or later re!erence. An& time &ou hae a power!ull& moing experience, )e it watching a moie, haing a dream, or when an eent !rom &our past pops into &our mind, &ou hae the )asic material !or creating a re!erencememor& !or &oursel!. To deelop a set o! re!erence memories, &ou simpl& hae to !ind a com!orta)le place to relax.Allow &our mind to dri!t through time. As &ou go through &our li!e, each time &ou come upon a

memor& associated with a power!ul !eeling, make a note to &oursel!. Then close &our e&es and continueexploring. 'ts not so necessar& to actuall& go into the memor& and !eel the experience right now4 thatwill )e the second step, a!ter &ou hae gathered a group o! memories. +nce &ou hae these memories, slowl& relie each o! them in &our mind. Allow &oursel! toiidl& experience the 5ualit& o! the !eeling that comes with that memor&. "ake a chart with threecolumns. Title the !irst column 7"emor&,8 the second column 7Emotions,8 and the third column7Behaiors This %tate Would 0acilitate.8 %ee the 7Ta)le o! (e!erence "emories8 i! &ou want a modelto !ollow.

Another wa& to generate re!erence memories is to decide on a particular emotional state &ou!eel would )e alua)le to access on a more regular )asis. Then explore &our li!e, starting !rom theneutral state o! deep relaxation. %i!t )ack through time, unearthing all the eents in &our li!e when &ou!elt these !eelings or were in the desired state o! mind &ou wish to reproduce. '! the& comespontaneousl&, =ust !ollow along, writing them down or speaking into a tape recorder. %till another wa& to approach this is to s&stematicall& work &oursel! )ackward !rom the presentand earlier into &our li!e, &ear )& &ear, or starting at )irth and working toward the present. People with whom &ou !eel rapport and empath& @kindred spirits can )e er& help!ul in this.Hae a conersation with a !riend, and hae him help &ou tune in to the appropriate experiences in &our li!e. A therapist might also )e a alua)le help. %ome people !ind the& can come up with pastexperiences much )etter when the&re with others. +nce &ou hae created &our list o! experiences and emotions, &ou can separate it so that &ourgeneral list is )roken into seeral su)lists, one !or each o! the ma=or emotional states &ou would like to )e a)le to gain access to and use. Then, choose those two or three memories !rom each list that hae themost power!ul !eeling associated with them, the ones that &ou will !eel most power!ul reliing. These will )e the primar& ones that &ou will use, although the others might )e hand& )ecausethe su)=ect matter is similar to something &ou are dealing with presentl& in &our li!e. 0or instance, eenthough the memor& o! winning a race might hae a stronger emotional impact than the memor& o!getting a good mark in school, i! &our present goal is to do )etter in school, the second memor& mightwork a )it )etter. +)iousl&, the actiities and emotions are more similar to what &ou are tr&ing toaccomplish right now. 3ou an5t &lways 8et $hat 3ou $ant, but If 3ou "ry, %ometimes > > >



The re!erence memor& &ou use need not hae actuall& happened. Although real/li!e experiencesare usuall& the strongest sources o! this kind o! energ&, emotion, and passion, and the easiest to accessand ii!&, we dont alwa&s hae ones we can call upon to achiee the ends we desire. The !ollowingillustrates this point in a color!ul wa&:

CASE %ISTO(+: %A(OL"

Harold came into m& o!!ice one sunn& a!ternoon. He was 9 &ears old, JK8, and had closel&/cropped )londe hair. 7' want &ou to h&pnoti;e me and make m& !ingers grow longer,8 he announced. ' was startled. Practicing something as outlandish as mind/)od& medicine in the C9s initedall sorts o! unusual re5uests, )ut this was the strangest &et. 7Wh& on earth would &ou want to do thatM8 ' asked tentatiel&. 7Look,8 he said, holding up his hands, and what appeared to me to )e per!ectl& normal !ingers.7What girl would want to go out with a gu& with !ingers like thisM8 7Did someone sa& something to &ouM Did some girl tell &ou thisM8 7$o, 'e neer, eer )een out with a girl,8 he !retted. 7Thats wh& ' want &ou to help me.8 ' explained to him that a!ter the teenage &ears, the epiph&ses, the cartilaginous growing portionso! long )ones, such as those in the !ingers, calci!&. There!ore, no growth is possi)le. 7Are &ou a)solutel& certainM8 he asked. 7Well, 'm as certain o! it as ' am o! eer&thing 'e learned in m& medical training.8 7Then &ou wouldnt )et &our li!e on itM8 he challenged strangel&. 'ntrigued, ' answered, 7$o, )ut then ' cant sa& that ' reall& know !or certain that the sun willrise tomorrow.8 Howeer, he was not dissuaded. 7' understand what &ou are sa&ing, )ut would &ou )e willing totr&, an&wa&M8 %uddenl&, ' knew what to do. ' guided him into a er& deep state o! relaxation. Then ' had himimagine a iid and clear image o! his !ingers growing longer. Then ' had him imagine holding atelephone )ook, with his long !ingers turning the pages to !ind the num)er o! a girl to whom he !eltattracted. ' then had him isuali;e his long, per!ectl& ade5uate !ingers picking up the telephone receier and dialing her num)er. ' asked him to imagine that as he conersed with her, he could !eel his long !ingers holding thetelephone. Then ' had him isuali;e his long !ingers pressing her door)ell, waiting !or the answer, as he!elt totall& relaxed and com!orta)le. We continued through his date in this wa&, with me emphasi;ing relaxation, con!idence,com!ort, securit&, and ade5uac&. When he le!t m& o!!ice, he took with him a tape wed made o! thesession so that he could practice this imager& twice a da&. ' told him that i! he was going to makemedical histor&, it was going to take a concentrated e!!ort. ' receied a call two weeks later, a !ew da&s )e!ore his !ollow/up appointment. He told me that,!or some reason, !ollowing our last appointment, een )e!ore his !ingers had )egun to grow, he !oundhimsel! calling some girls on the phone and had )een on a couple o! dates. 7%omehow, it wasnt nearl& as di!!icult as ' thought it would )e,8 he said. 7And the ama;ingthing is, the length o! m& !ingers didnt seem to make an& di!!erence to them. ' hae a water skiing datenext 0rida&, so ' hae to cancel m& appointment with &ou. Besides, haing longer !ingers doesnt seemall that important an&more.8 While Harolds stor& ma& )e a )it unusual, the principles inoled are uniersal. What we arelooking !or in all these examples o! change and trans!ormation is a change in attitude, a change in thewa& we perceie our lies and the world around us. While we cant alwa&s change our ph&si5ue oranatom&, we can change our minds a)out how were going to let it a!!ect our lies. %ometimes we !ind the re!erence experiences we need in moies, )ooks, or in the stor& o!



and supportie perspectie as ' turn m& attention to helping people deal with these issues. "emoriessuch as the !ollowing help me do this.

lood5s .evenge

“"he night was clear# and the moon was yellow#” rasped out the old 1.+. spea$er in itsdistorted attempt to deliver the latest roc$2and2roll music at full volume to the hundreds of teenagers

milling about in the street. + ma$eshift barrier# consisting of two2by2fours balanced precariously atop saw horses# served as barricades at either end of the street. @n each was tac$ed a handwritten sign4“=loc$ 1arty.” “I was standin( on the corner when I heard my bulldog bar$. He was bar$in( at the childrenwho were gamblin( in the dar$.” I usually avoided parties in this part of town. "he “=ric$town /haplains” ruled this turf andwere generally intolerant of interlopers. =ut the lure of music and dance and my friends( assurancethat it would probably be safe# since it was outdoors and adults would be present# had persuaded me to set aside my usual cautiousness and venture forth on this hot summer night. =ut now# as I watched the few adults who were there drin$ing cheap wine out of paper cups along with children as young as 6:and 6M years old# I began to doubt the wisdom of my decision. Here and there# among the sweating# posturing# dancing# and bragging gathering# a small fight would brea$ out# much to the delight ofonloo$ers. “0tagger 8ee threw a seven# =illy swore that he threw eight...” +lthough I had been there less then ten minutes# my survival instincts had uic$ly overwhelmedmy desire for social interaction. =ut it was too late. 0uddenly I found my way bloc$ed by six boys#ranging in age from about 6M to 6 and dressed in “itterbug” clothes? narrow2cuff# “high2water pants#” and button2down collars. %y heart san$. I $new the routine. 'irst they would point out that Ihad committed the unpardonable sin of entering their territory uninvited. Onder this pretext# I wouldbe challenged to fight one of them. If he bested me and I fell to the ground# this would be the signal forthe others to $ic$ me with their heavy# wing2tip shoes until each was certain they had done some significant damage. If# on the other hand# I were to begin to get the better of him# they would all ,umpme to retaliate# claiming that something in my fighting style was unfair and that it was up to them toexact retribution# $ic$ing me until I bled in apology. “0tagger 8ee told =illy# (I can(t let you get away with that...(” @ne of them stepped forward. "hough I did not $now him# his name# =obby %orrow# was tobecome deeply engraved on my mind over the next few months. His viciousness had earned him theaffectionate gang name of “=lood.” “"hrow up your hands#” he demanded# as he stared angrily into my eyes. I could tell he was slightly inebriated. “imme a (fair one#(” he insisted# suggesting I need not be concerned that themenacing thugs surrounding me would interfere. %y confidence in his promise was about eual to my faith in the moon being composed of greencheese. “I don(t want to fight you#” I replied. “I(m a peaceable man.” "his clumsy comment caused great merriment among the onloo$ers. “1unch his teeth out#”urged a youngish fellow standing next to him. “%a$e him bleed#” chimed in another well2wisher. 'ed up with my unwillingness to cooperate# =lood drew bac$ his right hand and delivered aright cross. "he blow landed somewhere on the left side of my face. 1erhaps =lood(s strength had been somewhat decreased by the alcohol he had consumed# or perhaps it was the uarts of adrenaline flooding through my veins that numbed me4 but somehow I barely felt the blow. Neither my head normy body moved from the spot where I stood# fro-en in panic. "here was a stunned silence among the onloo$ers# which was suddenly bro$en by one of themwho loudly moc$ed his friend# “/hec$ it out5 =lood threw his best punch# and the dude ,ust stood there



loo$in( at him.” "he growing crowd began to laugh and point derisively. I $new I was in for it now# I had committed the unpardonable sin of causing him to lose face. =lood(s expression contorted in rage. He reached into his poc$et and removed a slender blac$ ob,ect? a switchblade $nife seven or eight inches in length. "he mood of the onloo$ers shifted now to one of ,oyous expectation. I didn(t need a course in physiology to tell me that no amount of adrenaline was li$ely to protect me from the next attac$. "here

was only one thing left to do. I made a run for it# hurdling the barricade and sprinting down the side street# then out on to the main boulevard. =ehind me I could hear a do-en pair of wingtips chasing me."han$s to my bas$etball shoes# my veins filled with adrenaline# and their alcohol2induced motorimpairment# I uic$ly outdistanced them. I made it home that night but got little sleep. Cnowing =lood(s penchant for vengeance# Ireali-ed the ordeal was not yet over. 'or the next few wee$s# I didn(t venture out of my house very often except to go to school and tovisit friends nearby. I $new =lood would be loo$ing for me to clear his name of the stain left by hisrecent substandard performance. %y main protection lay in the fact that he didn(t $now where I lived. %y strategy was to lay low until the heat was off# perhaps a few months. I $new that although I hadnever felt safe in the city# I was destined to be loo$ing over my shoulder even more in years to come. “0tagger 8ee went home and got his (::# said (I(m goin( to the bar room# gonna pay that debt I owe.(” It was about six wee$s later# and I had let my guard down a little bit and had dared to appearin broad daylight on @live(s front porch# chatting with her and <ic$y. 0uddenly I heard a metallic clic$ disturbingly close to my right ear. <eflexively I turned my head to find myself staring into the businessend of a loaded# coc$ed pistol. +t the other end of the barrel was =obby %orrow. His mean eyes twin$led and his lips curledup in a smile. "his was clearly a moment he had been loo$ing forward to. He $new that with a single suee-e of the trigger he would redeem himself and rebuild his “rep.” “0tagger 8ee shot =illy# he shot that poor boy so bad...” "he next moment seemed an eternity. I don(t remember my life flashing before my eyes. I ,ustremember a very# very long# and very# very frightened tensing against the inevitable. "his was it. Nomore school# no more bas$etball# no more friends# nothing. =obby(s grin twisted into a sneer as he savored my panic and desperation. 0uddenly <ic$y(s hands reached out# grabbed =lood(s arm and swung it down and away fromme. 8ater I was to learn that <ic$y and =lood had been friends in grade school# and <ic$y felt safeinterrupting this way. “8et go of my arm# <ic$# let go5” =lood pleaded in a tone one would expect to hear from one seventh grader attempting to wheedle a stic$ of chewing gum out of a classmate. %y reaction was instantaneous. I dashed through a hedge and rounded the corner of thebuilding# -ig2-agging through alleys and bac$yards# $nowing that bullets couldn(t turn corners. I madeit safely home and out of harm(s way. I(ve been told that =lood continued his search for me# but apparently his alcohol abuse caughtup with him before he caught up with me. +bout a month later# he was found dead in an alley. "helocal scuttlebutt was that he bled to death from a chronic ulcer.

The& sa& that eer&thing happens !or a reason and that there is a lesson in eer& experience.%eldom, howeer, has a lesson )een as iid as the one ' learned that da& on +lies !ront porch. "osto! us race along through li!e as i! we were immortal, o)liious to the true alue o! our lies, our health,and our !uture. Were seldom aware o! the preciousness o! eer& moment. But there is a curious clarit&that comes when one looks directl& into the )arrel o! a loaded gun.



are re5uired to do it !rom time to time in their =o) or pro!ession. How might &ou shi!t this state o!a!!airs using one o! &our re!erence memoriesM 0or instance, the person a!raid o! pu)lic speaking mighthae a er& positie re!erence memor& o! winning an award, cele)rating a )irthda&, or een giing aspeech that she could hold in her mind wheneer she !elt anxious a)out a presentation she must gie.Think a)out the wa&s that this practice might )e help!ul in &our own li!e. "ake a plan to put such as&stem into action in &our own li!e, and then !ollow through on it.

4; an &ou !ind memories o! eents in &our past that esta)lished undesira)le patterns in &ourli!eM A wonder!ul example o! this !rom this chapter is the stor& a)out the )room )& the door. "ake a plan to explore that memor&, and change it through a positive re!erence memor&. 5; Esta)lish a de!inite plan !or creating some positie re!erence memories. 0or example, 'suggest to m& clients that the& spend !ie or ten minutes a da& reliing one or two power!ul re!erencememories, complete with their names and their s&m)ols @see FC on this list. The& relie thoseexperiences as iidl& as the& can. Then, when the time comes to use the re!erence memor& to shi!t&our state o! consciousness when &oure haing a )ad da&, &ou will )e well ersed in )ringing that positie memor& to mind. 7; What situations that &ou usuall& aoid can &ou now con!ront with the help o! &ourempowering re!erence memoriesM ommon !ears such as pu)lic speaking, haing to talk with an ex/spouse who makes &ou nerous, going in !ront o! a reiew )oard at work, or haing to interiew !or a =o) are all examples where re!erence memories can help to empower &ou, keep &ou up)eat, and allow&ou to per!orm at &our )est with a minimum o! emotional discom!ort. Imagery

To access &our emotions and the personal potentials associated with &our re!erence memories,enter the deepl& relaxed state. $ext, while &ou are relaxed, iidl& )ring in the image o! the re!erencememor&. Then go through this experience as suggested )& the !ollowing, drawn !rom m& twoaudiocassettes, 1ower Eision and @ptimal 1erformance. +s you live through this scene# feel...deep within...the wonderful emotions you experience as you sense your ability to experience life in this way. Deep within# you feel a sense of confidence...of ,oyand satisfaction...a sense of deep inner fulfillment...Deep within# you feel clear about who you are. Bouare in harmony with the people and the activity in which you are involved...and there(s a sense ofmastery as you bring your best to life. "a$e a deep breath in# and breathe this feeling throughout eachand every part of your body. Bou are highly charged with this feeling now...and deep within you reali-e that this feeling canbe yours again and again... more and more strongly each time...and you confidently and consciouslychoose to create your own future.... As &ou come out o! the deepl& relaxed state, !or a !ew moments =ust allow &oursel! to )ask inthe glow o! the re!erence memor& and all o! the positie !eelings it )rings up !or &ou. This willesta)lish a clear space in &our consciousness where the re!erence memor& will )e maintained, allowing&ou to easil& access it wheneer &ou wish to make use o! it. Mental .ehearsal4asic "raining for Peak Performance

"ental rehearsal can )e o! enormous alue since it primes the deeper leels o! &our mind/)od&!or per!orming at &our highest and most productie leels. "ental rehearsal is similar to working with&our image ideal#except that here the spotlight o! &our awareness is directed not so much at theoerall health, igor, and com!ort o! &our mind and )od& as it is towards a er& speci!ic activity at aer& speci!ic time. When learning a !oreign language, &ou would want to listen to a natie speaker pronounce eachword and phrase as per!ectl& as possi)le, the )etter to attune &our ear. 'n a similar wa&, &ou are )ringing together all &our skill and wisdom, along with &our memories o! &our own )est per!ormances



and the )est per!ormances o! other people whom &ou hae witnessed in the past4 when all o! these are put together, the& !orm the most per!ect model !or &our per!ormance. A dancer would kinestheticall&create the per!ect model o! her dance, !eeling her )od& go through all the emotions associated with her per!ormance. %he would also isuali;e hersel! dancing, as though she were looking in a mirror oractuall& sitting in the audience watching hersel!. As alwa&s, the more sensor& channels &ou can !ill with coherent data, the more thoroughl& &our

nerous s&stem will learn to per!orm in the wa& &ou reall& want it to. A pu)lic speaker would !eelhimsel! giing a speech, hear his oice, !eel his gestures. 1sing his imagination, he would then sitdown in the audience and watch his per!ormance, en=o&ing eer& moment o! it. The woman preparing!or a =o) interiew would isuali;e her calm demeanor, clarit& o! mind, a)ilit& to answer 5uestionseasil&, in short, to pro=ect exactl& the image she wants to pro=ect to her prospectie emplo&er. Again,she would experience it !rom )oth inside and outside o! her )od&, that is, as hersel! doing the per!ectinteriew and as the interiewer talking with her and )eing er& positiel& impressed )& her. With the muscles completel& relaxed, it turns out its much easier to take the nerous s&stemthrough its paces to create a trul& peak per!ormance. The !ollowing imager& is adapted !rom "he 6G2 %inute 0tress %anager tape @see the (esources section. +s you have done in the past# begin this exercise by letting your body be in a comfortable position# in a uiet place where you won(t be disturbed. Ose one of the techniues of deep relaxation you have learned to ta$e mind and body into a comfortable# uiet place. "a$e a deep breath in# and as you let it out# do so with a feeling of letting go completely...andthen begin allowing the air to do the breathing for you. Notice how your chest rises and falls gently with each breath in and each breath out. Doingnothing# you notice your chest rises# then falls. Imagine that with each breath out# you(re breathing allremaining tension out of your body. Imagine with each breath out# you(re relaxing deeper and deeper.With each breath# you are growing more and more calm. Notice that little pause after the air leaves your lungs and before the next breath comes...and as you relax deeper and deeper# let that pause grow ,ust a little bit longer. Notice that during this pause it is the uietest time for your entire body and mind. Imagine you can ,ust sin$ into this pause as though you(re falling into a wonderfully soft cloud. Pause !or !i!teen seconds. With each breath out# imagine you(re breathing all unnecessary thoughts out of your mind...,ust en,oying these moments of relaxation. Now begin to let the spotlight of your mind shine forward toward the future. %ove forward tothat point in the future when you would li$e to bring forth the highest levels of performance from yourbody. "hat future situation may be a training or a practice session# or it may be a ma,or event. 1icture yourself at the beginning of this event. 1erhaps you have a few moments to relax yourmind and body# focus your awareness# and rehearse your ideal performance ,ust one more time. Now# slowly live this scene through from beginning to end# allowing your performance to be as perfect as you can imagine# ,ust the way you would want it to come out if you had a magic wand and all your fondest wishes would come true. In your mind# feel free to stretch your performance beyond prior limits# performing better#easier# stronger# more confidently# and more fluidly than ever before. Eisuali-e yourself meeting each challenge head2on# handling each efficiently and effectively. Imagine you are performing with grace# style# strength# and enthusiasm. 'eel your body relaxed yet strong. &motionally you are aware# flexible# and balanced. "he flow of your emotions supports all your efforts. Bour mind is crystal clear# you feel stimulated# perhaps even thrilled# as you en,oy every aspect of your performance. +ll aspects of your performance are finely coordinated. 8ive this performance through from the beginning...finally reaching the end# having achievedall your goals...and notice that you en,oyed every moment of this performance as it was unfolding.



+nd as you feel these really good feelings of success and confidence# notice again the impulsethat starts each new breath# letting this spar$ represent the continuous rebirth and growth of these feelings of confidence# strength# and ease within you. Now your deeper mind understands the behavior that you wish to carry out in the future# ,ust as you experienced it here. &ach time you visuali-e yourself doing things the way you really want to# youare strengthening your mind2body communication.

radually let yourself return to your present place# coming out of this rehearsal session feelingalert#comfortable# refreshed# and clear. (emem)er, as with all the other techni5ues o! deep healing &ou are learning, practice makes per!ect. The more &ou practice, the stronger will )ecome the mind/)od& )ond, and the more e!!ectiel&&ou will )e a)le to )ring !orth the )ehaior &our wish# mentall&, emotionall&, and ph&sicall&. &ffirmations

“%y body belongs to me and ultimately will do what my brain tells it to do.” “%y brain and mind belong to me# and I am learning to communicate more clearly with them.” “=ecause energy follows thought# as I guide my thoughts I am guiding my energy.” “%y body# mind# and emotions fully support the actions that I have visuali-ed in my mind.” “I am becoming more conscious and intentional in everything I do.” “+ll levels of my mind and body are wor$ing more and more smoothly together.” “I am capable of accomplishing what I most want to accomplish in my life...and I am doing it5”

HAPTE( TWEL?EE$OTIONS,+O)( E+

TO )N"E(STAN"IN#

AN" C(EATIN#

+O)( (EALIT+

“We sow a thought and reap an act4 We sow an act and reap a habit4 We sow a habit and reapa character4 We sow a character and reap a destiny.”

#William "akepeace Thacker&

'! &ou wish to attain the highest leels o! health and wellness, to )ring !orth &our !ull potential,to !ind true happiness and !ul!illment in &our li!e, &our primar& challenge is going to )e creatingintegrit& and )alance @homeostasis among all the elements o! &our total s&stem. +ccasionall&, a personhas so much o! their li!e in order that all the& need is a little !ix, the relie! o! a !ew s&mptoms at a lower leel o! the s&stem, that is, learning to relax a little more, relieing pain in a )od& part or increasingmental !ocus a )it. %eldom are things that simple, howeer4 most o! us need healing on man& leels.%o, the 5uestion arises: Where do &ou )egin this processM To )ring a)out the deepest and most complete healing, it is )est to )egin at the highest leel o!&our s&stem, that is, at the highest leel o! &our awareness. Here, &our goal would )e to attend to andmodi!& &our thoughts, images, and the rules )& which &ou choose those thoughts and images. ; %etaphor +t the level of spirit# od4 ; +t the physical level# light4 ; +t the emotional level# love4



; +t the mental level# consciousness. As we )egin to explore the role o! emotions, and include spiritual concepts in our discussion,we enter a realm where the terrain is more unstead& and landmarks indistinct. There is disagreement oneen the simplest 5uestions. 0or centuries, the running de)ate among philosophers and scientists hasreoled around one important 5uestion: 7Do we as human )eings hae an& independent existenceapart !rom our )odiesM +r is the notion o! Rmind or Rsoul =ust an epiphenomenon o! the electrical and

chemical actiit& o! the )rain su)stanceM8 As scientists hae reealed more and more a)out the role o! neurochemicals in mental!unctioning, man& people hae )een inclined to accept this latter conclusion. '! this is correct, then thenotion o! there actuall& )eing an 7'8 is =ust an illusion, haing no more o! an independent existencethan 2ermit the 0rog when the puppeteers who animate him go home. 7'8 would )e nothing more thana name gien to a set o! electrical and chemical processes taking place at a particular location in spacecalled 7m& )rain.8 %elf*&wareness, %elf*#steem

“"he universe is all there is. %y environment is everything that is not me. "herefore the

universe is everything that is not me# and me.”

#Buckminster 0uller

Personall&, ' !ind it hard to accept that ' am =ust an illusion created )& dum) chemical reactions.This idea is er& contrar& to m& personal experience and the experience o! other people whose mindsand alues ' highl& respect. ' hae the er& clear sense o! there )eing a sel! that is 5uite distinct !romm& )rain, )od&, and )ehaiors. ' hae a )od&, )ut ' am not m& )od&. ' hae a mind, )ut ' am not m&mind. ' hae alue and desere respect. "& ideas and m& !eelings are important. 7Ah,8 sighs m& technologistic adersar&, 7&our experience and &our !eelings are =ust other

illusions created )& the )rain. ' hae those illusions too, )ut ' am no !ool. ' recogni;e them as such.8 1ntil science creates sel!/conscious li!e in a test tu)e, there will )e no scienti!ic proo! o! eitheriewpoint, &et each o! us must take a position. ' wonder i! the technologist does, in !act, hae the same inner experience as '. When ' was a )o&, ' used to wonder i! other people had the same experience o! the colors o! the spectrum as ' had.Do &ou see the same red as ' seeM 's &our greenness the same greenness that ' experienceM Perhaps i! 'were a)le to get inside &our head, ' would experience the same color in the same wa& that &ou do. Butma&)e not. +! course, since &ou alwa&s hae the same experience o! green each time &ou look atleaes or other things o! that hue, how would we eer know i! our experiences were di!!erentM 'n something as personal as self , this is a er& apt 5uestion. Although it might seem counter/intuitie at !irst, the uality o! the experience o! sel! is er& di!!erent !rom person to person. ' can

program a computer to sa& a!ter six hours o! operation, 7'm tired. ' think 'll get some shute&e.8 'could instruct an actor to sa& the same thing. %till, this is 5uite a di!!erent situation !rom the one in which a!ter writing all da& ' sa&, 7'mtired. ' think 'll get some shute&e.8 People who go through therap& or deep personal growth processeso!ten report a pro!ound di!!erence in their awareness o! themseles as complete indiiduals. B&comparison, the& characteri;e their earlier experience as a kind o! sleepwalking. Perhaps those who assert that the sense o! sel! is an illusion hae a relatiel& impoerishedexperience o! sel!. A person !rom an a)usie )ackground, !or instance, ma& hae little !aith in othersand )eliee there is no such thing as 7loe,8 &et I !eel deep loe !or m& !amil& mem)ers, and $now it



exists. "& prepu)escent son thought that kissing was !undamentall& ic$y# and couldnt )eliee thatan&one could en=o& it. @He changed his mind a!ter a !ew &ears o! additional experience. %imilarl&, ' hae known people who neer had much o! an experience o! sel!. Their experienceis er& di!!erent !rom mine. The !ocus o! their attention and awareness was primaril& on the externalworld. Their concern was what others thought, wanted, and achieed, how the& looked, per!ormed, andlied up to external standards. How the& !elt and what was most inspiring to them was not honored and

had no meaning to them. $ot surprisingl&, these !olks o!ten make it to the top o! their pro!essions, and supported )& allthe social rein!orcement, the& !re5uentl& make it all the wa& to the grae without waking up. This o!tenre5uires extensie indulgence in drugs, alcohol, and co/dependent relationships, though. %ome o! these !olks, howeer, do wake up to the )leakness o! their lies. %ome reali;e that the&can, )& altering their thoughts and images, hae a pro!ound sense o! themseles and greatl& enhancethe 5ualit& o! their lies. The& recogni;e that this sel! can )e responsi)le !or the direction their liestake, and can )e empowered to skill!ull& guide lower leels o! their mind, emotions, and )od&.-raduall&, the& deelop a potent sense o! personal mission and a compelling ision o! what the& wantmost to create during their so=ourn here on earth. & 6seful Fiction

Thinking o! &our sel! as di!!erent !rom @though in intimate relationship with &our mind,emotions, and )od& is a crucial step toward deep healing. '! )elieing in the existence o! a sel! is toomuch !or those who are pragmaticall& oriented skeptics, ' would suggest that &ou simpl& iew theconcept o! sel! as a use!ul !iction. ' knew o! a man who spent seeral da&s preparing a presentation to delier to the )oard o!directors o! his compan&. He knew he had done a =o) that would win him praise and perhaps a promotion. He !elt calm and secure on his cross/countr& !light, )elieing that his precious presentationmaterials were sa!el& packed in his carr&/on )ag. 'n truth, he had inadertentl& le!t them on his desk )ut didnt discoer this until he was met at the airport )& a messenger who in!ormed him that the presentation had )een canceled. The mistaken )elie! had sered as a use!ul !iction, since it had protected him !rom !eeling distraught throughout the !light. Had he known this earlier, his entire !lightmight hae )een unnecessaril& misera)le. %o, opines m& inner skeptic, ma&)e m& !eeling o! haing a sel! is no more than this, a !ictionthat is use!ul )ecause it gies me courage, energ&, securit&, =o&, and the a)ilit& to inspire people to dogood things. +n the other hand, it =ust might )e that m& willingness to )eliee in the sel! and to nurtureit actuall& )rings it into )eing through a process o! induction. The phenomenon o! induction is well known in other, lower leels o! the s&stem. 'n thedeeloping !etus, !or instance, the lens o! the e&e is !ormed )& the cells that also go on to !orm the skino! the e&elid. Earl& in !etal li!e, the deeloping )rain sends !orth two outpouchings called the 7optic )ul)s.8 These )ul)s, which will ultimatel& )ecome the e&e)alls, secrete a tin& amount o! hormone thatinduces the skin cells to trans!orm into the clear cells that make up the lens o! the e&e. '! the optic )ul)s!ail to !orm, or i! an experimenter )locks the !low o! the hormone, no lens !orms and onl& skin cellsappear. The point here is that the special hormone that induces these cells to )ecome an e&e is whatturns the tide. The !ollowing is another example o! induction. 'n!ants, in their random gurgling, make eer&sound used in eer& language in the world. Loing parents re=oice eer& time their )a)& makes a soundthat approximates a word in their language, and the& repeat this sound meaning!ull&. As the child isinduced to )ecome !luent with the appropriate sounds, she learns words 5uickl& and =o&!ull&. Parentswho re!use to respond to a child until she speaks with crisp, !lawless articulation will raise a child whospeaks little and who will experience communication as an inherentl& unpleasant experience. Here,again, it is a special circumstance, the parents response to the in!ants gurgling, that induces the



change. ' am led to wonder, 7an our inner awareness, openness, and sensitiit& actuall& induce, oreoke a sel!M8 ' )eliee it can. "& clear experience with m& three children is that, )& honoring the precious seeds o! sel!, )& giing unconditional acceptance, support, and loe instead o!nonresponsieness, criticism, punishment, and demands, their sense o! sel! has )een power!ull&eoked. ' think each o! us can similarl& induce and empower the sel! i! we are willing to appreciate its

crucial importance. %u!!ice it to sa& that there is a wa& to approach our lies wherein we can choose to intentionall&guide thoughts, images, and )ehaiors according to a certain desired set o! philosophical assumptions.When we choose to step out o! our mind and )od& and consciousl& guide them, ' call this operating atthe spiritual , or philosophical leel.

"he Power of #motion

'n preious chapters, wee explored how our thoughts and images can guide our )ehaior. Butthinking alone ma& not )e enough, as the !ollowing will reeal:

My 2eft Foot

+s I sit here# I notice that my left foot is feeling a little uncomfortable. I $now it will be morecomfortable if I move it about a foot to the side. Without hesitation# the foot moves. Without my even$nowing it# the message has been carried through a long chain of commands consisting of internestedneural networ$s finally impinging on motor units on the membranes of distant muscles.

Tr& it. Decide to moe &our le!t !oot, and 5uickl& moe it. The thought o! moing &our !ootinoled merel& the moement o! nanograms @)illionths o! a gram o! neurotransmitters in &ourcere)ral cortex. "oing &our leg inoled the shi!t o! seeral thousand grams o! !lesh and )one. Thisrepresents a huge leerage4 the moement o! in!initesimal molecules )& &our thoughts was multipliedtrillions o! times But theres more to the stor&. 'magine &oursel! l&ing in )ed one morning a!ter a long night o!enthusiastic reeling. *ou know its time to get up )ecause &ou hae an appointment to keep. *outhink to &oursel!, All 'e got to do is to get this )od& moing. 'll start )& li!ting m& le!t leg and!lipping it oer the edge o! the )ed. But nothing happens. *our )od& seems to hae a mind o! its own, and it seems that no matterhow hard &ou think a)out it, the leer doesnt work4 the leg doesnt moe. *ou do;e o!! )rie!l&,awaken, and &et again gie it a tr&. But to no aail. *ou do;e o!! and the process repeats itsel! a !ewtimes.



Then, suddenl&, &oure aware o! &our roommate, !riend, or spouse standing oer &ou and telling&ou that &oue got onl& minutes to make &our appointment, and i! &ou dont, &oure going to lose&our =o), )low a thousand dollars, or !ail an important test. A =agged )olt o! !ear shoots through &ourwhole )od&. *our le!t leg, which seemed so hea& mere moments ago, literall& !lies !rom under thecoers. What makes the di!!erenceM

To )orrow !rom a presidential campaign slogan, 7'ts the emotions, stupid8 'nitiall&, &our attempts were motiated onl& )& a ague, almost technical conceptuali;ation# that its time ' should )e getting out o! )ed. An interesting, perhaps important o)seration, )ut not er&motiating. The second situation is 5uite a contrast. %uddenl&, &ou had a cr&stal/clear mental image o! how pain!ul it would )e i! &ou did not get out o! )ed. 0ear, as one o! the primar& emotions, has theenormous responsi)ilit& o! ensuring surial, and its demands rapidl& empower our actions. The second image inoles the moement o! a)out the same num)er o! nanograms o!neurotransmitter in the cortex as does the !irst. The image o! losing &our =o) or !lunking a test,howeer, causes the secretion o! a di!!erent set o! chemicals that eoke a much more power!ul response!rom the su)cortical structures o! our )rains. The hormones o! these lower centers that !low throughoutthe )od& are now present in much larger 5uantities than those our images eoke in the cortex. The&awaken eer& organ o! the )od& and set into motion the !ight/or/!light response that is hardwired intoour s&stem. The signals o! the cortex now !all upon much more receptie neuromuscular structures, and&oure out o! )ed in a !lash. 'n other words, as we go up in the hierarch& !rom )od& through emotionsto cognition, smaller and smaller amounts o! matter are moed, &et the potential !or control )ecomesgreater. learl&, emotion pla&s a piotal role.

"he og and the .abbit

@nce# while wal$ing in the forest with his dog# a hunter spotted a rabbit. “/atch that rabbit#”he ordered# and the dog too$ off in hot pursuit. 'or 6M minutes# the two dashed and dodged# but in theend the frightened rabbit managed to escape. "he dog returned# exhausted# tongue hanging out# to his master# who immediately began toupbraid him# “Bou good for nothing mutt# letting a stupid rabbit outrun you5” “=e not so harsh with me# master#” pleaded the hound. “+fter all# he was running for his life4 Iwas only running for my dinner5”

#Aesop

6sing Imagery to &waken the Healer $ithin

“@ur self2image prescribes the limits for the accomplishment of any particular goals. It prescribes the “area of the possible.”

# "axwell "alt;, ".D.

The human )eing learns )est through modeling. When we create a health& image o! ourselesand hold it in our mind, especiall& during a deepl& relaxed state, this image !unctions as a model that



the deeper leels o! mind and )od& use !or deeloping a response. +ne wa& to isuali;e what is happening here is to think a)out what happens when &ou moe themouse o! &our computer. When &ou moe the mouse upward, the little arrow moes upward on thescreen. When &ou moe it in a circle, the arrow draws a circle on the screen. 'n an exactl& analogous manner, whateer &ou do to the image &ou hold in &our mind willhappen in ph&sical realit& if the channels o! communication are open and the goal is su!!icientl&

desired. *our inner images, intentionall& chosen or not, are reealed )& what &ou sa&, how &ou )ehae,and )& the presence or a)sence o! health and health& )ehaiors. The pro)a)ilit& that an image &ou create and hold in &our mind will )e translated into macro/realit& is dramaticall& increased i! &ou are deepl& relaxed, i! &ou periodicall& rein!orce this image withthe regular use o! deep relaxation and positie a!!irmation, and i! &ou in!use it with passionate emotion.When &ou enter the relaxed state and hold an image in mind, &ou set up a preferred neurochemical pathway that !acilitates the desired )ehaiors o! mind, )od&, or emotion. Three challenging 5uestions to ask &oursel! are: Q 's the sel!/image that ' currentl& hold appropriate and adeuate4 Q 's m& world iew, the current image o! the unierse, and m& enironment, one that accuratel&re!lects the truth o! how things actuall& areM Q 's m& mental map o! m& relationship with the enironment one that re!lects reality andena)les me to )e successful M '! &ou !ail to pose and answer these 5uestions on a regular )asis, &ou are pro)a)l& not operating&our s&stem !rom the highest leel. *ou would )e a)dicating responsi)ilit& to whateer programs, patterns, ha)its, and )elie!s hae )een instilled in &ou during &our earl& &ears, when &ou were una)le tochoose !or &oursel!. *ou would )e liing unconsciousl& and unintentionall&, dependent upon lowerleels to take oer and do their re!lexie )est. Alice "iller descri)es how current child/rearing practices hae their roots in the pedagogicaltheories deeloped in the CKs. The child/rearing experts o! that time held that the =o) o! the parentwas to s&stematicall& 7)reak the childs spirit8 through all kinds o! deious maneuers, includingoutright lies and manipulationC. The& pointed out that when our children grow up the& would notremem)er how the& were a)used and would continue to )eliee and )ehae as we had programmedthem. hoosing to 2ive Intentionally

“Do we really believe that a nation that is starving can field a more powerful force than we? the most powerful nation in the world!”

#Admiral Arleigh A. Burke, urging the 1.%. to sei;e the 7eas& ictor&8 in ?ietnam

Belie!s act as filters and amplifiers. The& select what we are capa)le o! perceiing and not perceiing, how we think a)out what we perceie, and the choices that we think are aaila)le to us.When we do not make choices consciousl&, the unconscious parts o! the mind choose !or us, )ased onthese )elie! structures. But what i! we do want to lie intentionall& and are willing to examine the concepts, images,and )elie!s we hold a)out ourseles and the unierseM +n what )asis can we decide whether or not the&are ade5uateM %hould we assume that as long as the& !it the )elie!s o! our parents or teachers the& must )e oka&. %hould we decide that a certain )ook contains all the answers# the Coran# "he =ible# Dianetics# %ein Campf , or "he /harles %anson Handboo$! +r should we )lindl& !ollow a teacher or



guru, someone who claims to )e wiser, or more e5uipped to make our li!e decisions !or usM Follow the rowd7

“If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture# let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies.”

#Al)ert Einstein

*ou can dress to please others and not speak &our truth so as to aoid making peopleuncom!orta)le, and then reiterate the opinions o! others until the& !eel like &our own. At least &ouaoid the paradoxes o! personal responsi)ilit& and ethics. 0or m&sel!, ' would !eel cheated to reach theend o! m& li!e and reali;e that ' had allowed m& most important decisions to )e made )& others. %hould I 2et 8od o It7

%ome people sa& that the guidance in their decisions comes directl& !rom -od, and that direct

reelation tells them i! their current inner images and assumptions are appropriate. "other Teresareports that she was told )& -od to 7go and minister to the poorest o! the poor.8 +n the other hand, theA&atollah 2homeini, claiming to )e speaking !or -od, o!!ered a reward to whomeer would kill%alman (ushdie. %uicide )om)ers and those who murder g&necologists also claim to )e speaking !or-od. %o how do we eer know i! -od is reall& speaking to usM %elf*.esponsibility

Theres no wa& to honestl& aoid the responsi)ilit& !or &our inner images and )elie!s since,een i! &ou a)dicate in !aor o! some outside person or entit&, in the end it is &ou who choose toa)dicate. Theres a wonder!ul !olk sa&ing that has alwa&s impressed me: 7 In choosing the beginning of a road# we also choose its destination.”

To me, the wisest course o! action is to )e er& aware o! our own )elie!s and images. ' tr& touse all o! the a)oe sources as re!erences, as inputs o! in!ormation and wisdom. 'e learned anenormous amount a)out li!e !rom )ooks4 m& teachers and parents hae also gien me some excellentguidance. +!ten other peoples )elie!s hae sered me well as models and examples, )oth positie andnegatie. And sometimes ' !eel intuitie knowings that seem to go )e&ond the usual eer&da& sensor&impressions. But when it comes to making the ultimate decisions as to which ideas, perspecties, and )elie!s to use in creating m& sel!/image# m& image o! the world and m& )elie!s concerning m&relation to it#this is a right ' know ' must resere !or m&sel!. 9arieties of .eality

“Bour real self?the I am I?is master of this land# the ruler of this empire. Bou rightfully have power and dominion over it# with all its inhabitants and all contained in its realm.”

#(o)ert ollier

The notion o! 7realit&8 is !ascinating and trick&. 'n the stud& o! philosoph&, we encounter onetheor& o! realit& a!ter another, with no two o! them compati)le. *et, each has )een accepted as true )&



a di!!erent large group o! people. A most pu;;ling 5uestion once put to me )& a philosoph& pro!essor was, 7How do &ou knowthat &oure not dreaming right now, since when &oure in a dream &ou dont reali;e &oure in a dreamuntil &ou wake upM How do &ou know that in a !ew moments &ou wont wake up and sa&, R"&goodness, what an incredi)l& realistic dream ' =ust had8M 'n truth, there is no wa& to prove that &ou are awake, and that what &ou )eliee to )e real reall&

is. 'n !act, an& person who is growing and learning is continuall& !inding out that some o! what she )elieed a !ew months or &ears ago no longer seems true. *ou cant get external realit& inside &our head, so there is no wa& to know i! &ou arecompletel& right, or to know with an& certaint& what realit& is. %till, we want to make the )est possi)ledecisions )ased on the )est possi)le model o! the unierse. To )e alie is to encounter change, andchange re5uires us to weigh options and make decisions. 0lipping a coin is not a good enough wa& tomake choices. We must weigh the eidence and tr& to choose responses that will lead to the kind o!outcomes we )eliee we want. But how do we know when the eidence is correctM What in!ormation iso! high enough 5ualit& to sere as a )asis !or our most important decisionsM Faulty .ealities

%ome people hold )elie!s that are clearl& harm!ul. An extreme example is the paranoidschi;ophrenic who )eliees radios and street lamps are talking to him, and that the primar& purpose o!all the police !orces and armies o! the world is to capture him. This person has a er& personali;edworld iew. We would all agree that a sense o! realit& such as this is er& unrealistic. %o one test o! thealidit& o! our )elie!s is whether the& are shared )& others. This is what we ordinaril& re!er to as7consensual realit&,8 that is, a realit& that is true perhaps !or no other reason than the !act that most people )eliee it to )e true. But the consensual test cannot )e the onl& one. There are man& cultural, religious, and politicalgroups that see themseles as -ods own 7%peciall& Endowed and hosen People.8 To them, !olkswith a di!!erent genetic )ackground or a di!!erent set o! religious )elie!s are in!erior. The& accept thistruth as indisputa)l& as the& )eliee that the sun rises each morning. A!ter all, the& heard it !rom their parents, had it rein!orced in their schools, and are surrounded )& people who a!!irm this realit&.0ortunatel&, we humans hae the kind o! !ree will that allows us to stand )ack and examine ourassumptions a)out realit& and to reise them i! we !ind that the& dont 5uite measure up.

ack at the entist

It was 6G9G at night and I was seated at my des$ in the corner of my college dormitory room. %iles Davis softly played “Cind of =lue” on my newly installed stereo system. I was about halfwaythrough the notes I was studying for the next day(s physics test. "o the soft rapping on my door# I answered# “/ome in.” It was my good friend ac$ who lived down the hall from me. We had met during 'reshmanWee$ and had often had lunch together and played cards late on 0aturday nights. =ut now ac$ loo$ed distressed. His brow was furrowed# and as he closed my door behind him# he began to cry. "his was an odd occurrence# indeed. In 6LG# college men never cried# and certainly notaround each other. 0omething must be hurting ac$ very deeply. He sat on my bed# put his head on mydes$# and through his soft sobs he begged of me# “1lease forgive me# please.” I had no idea what he was tal$ing about. “'or what!” I as$ed. ac$ told me his story. + few years before# when he was in his first year of high school in 1ennsylvania# the class discussed the issue of racial integration. +t that time# of course# segregationwas total in the 0outh# and signs warned “colored people” to use segregated bathrooms andrestaurants# and to always sit in the bac$ of the bus. In the North# there were no such signs# but neither was there very much mixing of the races.



=lac$s lived in blac$ neighborhoods# and the schools that white children attended rarely had any students of color. "he teacher as$ed how many students felt in favor of desegregating communities and public facilities. ust about everyone in the class# including ac$# raised a hand. “/onsider this# then#” continued the teacher. “Bou are in the waiting room of a dentist(s office#and your turn is next. "he door to the treatment room opens and a woman wal$s out. 0he is very fatand blac$# and her s$in loo$s sweaty.

“"he dentist appears in the door behind her as she leaves# then points at you and says# 3Next(. “Now# how many of you would be willing to go in that treatment room and sit in the chairwhere that big# blac$# sweaty woman had ,ust been!” ac$(s sobbing became deeper. “I(m so sorry# &mmett#” he wept. “What happened# ac$! What happened next!” “No one raised their hand# and I didn(t raise my hand either. I $now I should have# but Icouldn(t. 1lease forgive me.” ac$ $new that part of my genetic and cultural heritage is +frican2+merican. He had $nownonly white +nglo20axon 1rotestants and ews until he met me. "o his surprise# he discovered that I wasas friendly# intelligent# and as much a human being as any of those he $new with less melanin in theirepidermal cells. + real friendship had begun to develop between us. "his created enormous cognitive dissonance for him. =ecause he had been afraid to enter theimaginary dentist(s office# he felt that this was a personal betrayal of me# his new2found friend. His guilt and shame had grown with each day of our friendship until he could bear it no more. ac$ had been abused by the culture in which he was raised. His native feelings had not beenhonored# and he had not been given the self2confidence to uphold his beliefs in the face of social pressure. He had succumbed to a consensual reality that he eventually could no longer accept.

onsensual .eality and &dvertising

The power o! consensual realit& can )e seen in the adertising industr&. %ports stars and othercele)rities actuall& earn !ie to ten times more mone& endorsing products than the& do !rom pla&ing

their sport or acting. 'ncredi)l&, i! the aerage consumer sees a pro!essional !oot)all pla&er drie a particular car in a teleision commercial, he or she is much more likel& to )u& that car. 'n most cases,the cele)rit& doesnt use the product regularl&, and in man& cases had neer een heard o! it or used itat all )e!ore doing the commercial. But the ruse works +nce again, peoples minds are )eingmanipulated, not with the goal o! actuall& helping them, )ut to separate them !rom their mone&. owling all .eality

“How fortunate for those of us in power# that people do not thin$.”

#Adolph Hitler

At the other end o! the spectrum !rom the idios&ncratic and largel& unsuccess!ul pseudo/realit&o! the paranoid schi;ophrenic, there is what ' call 7Bowling Ball (ealit&.8 To discoer Bowling Ball (ealit&, &ou need to merel& remoe one o! &our shoes and place &our !oot on the !loor. Then hold an eight/pound )owling )all @actuall& a shotput or sledge hammer will do =ust as well in the air !our !eet a)oe &our !oot, directl& oer &our )ig toe. $ext, )egin to philosophi;ea)out what will happen i! &ou let go o! the )owling )all.



+ne theor& might )e that, )ecause ?enus is in Pisces, a sudden updra!t o! air will cause thedropped )owling )all to swere toward the side o! the room and land harmlessl& in the corner. Another possi)le realit& is that &our !air& godmother will materiali;e and catch the )owling )all )e!ore it strikes&our toe. Another is that )& isuali;ing hard enough, the )all will leitate and stick to the ceiling.

“"here(s nothing so absurd or incredible that it has not been asserted by one philosopher or

another.”

#(ene Descartes

When &ou hae !inished philosophi;ing, &ou are read& to ph&sicall& release the )all andcare!ull& o)sere what happens. "& hope is that most o! those reading this )ook will not hae to per!orm this experiment to measure the outcome. @'! &ou do wish to carr& it out, ' strongl& adise that&ou do so onl& in the presence o! a 5uali!ied ps&chiatrist and orthopedist ' use the concept o! Bowling Ball (ealit& to make the point that the unierse is not ar)itrar&.There is order in the unierse and except under the most extraordinar& conditions, it will tend to !ollow

certain predicta)le rules. Whats more, the more congruent &our image with Bowling Ball (ealit&, themore likel& &ou are to surie and thrie. Monte arlo .eality

't has )een reported that one eening, at the gaming ta)les in "onte arlo, the roulette )alllanded on a red num)er 9 times in a row. '! &ou had put a dollar down on red the !irst time, and le!t it!or all 9 times, &ou would hae won SCG,C9,9K The wheel was not rigged, so Bowling Ball(ealit& tells us that there was a C in CG,C9,9K chance o! this happening, &et it happened. BowlingBall (ealit& sa&s it would not )e a good idea to go to Las ?egas and put &our li!e saings on red and letit sta& there !or 9 spins. @Actuall&, the casino made a killing that night in "onte arlo. ertain that the )all could not continue to land on red, people )egan to place eer higher amounts o! mone& on )lack,

!iguring the next spin would make them a winner. %ometimes people re!er to Bowling Ball (ealit& as 7common sense.8 But, as we all know,common sense is not er& common.

“"he race is not always to the swiftest# and the battle not always to the strongest# but that(s thebest way to bet.”

# 0olk sa&ing

The solutions to most o! the decisions and con!licts we struggle with are not nearl& soreproduci)le and agreed upon as whether or not to moe &our !oot !rom )eneath the )owling )all. %till,it is important to lie our lies with the knowledge that there is some leel o! o)=ectie realit& that must )e honored. hoosing 3our 8uides

“No man is wise enough by himself.”



# $orwegian !olk sa&ing

But how do we do thisM ertainl& we must emplo& our intellect, since it is onl& in that wa& thatwe can understand how to weigh data and reach alid conclusions. To use our intellect, we must )ea)le to relax and control our leel o! stress. A high leel o! stress puts great pressure on our s&stem4 it

motiates us to 5uickl& !ind a wa& to ease our discom!ort or pain. Easing pain is our !irst priorit&. +nl&a!ter wee gotten relie! will we )e read& to approach the )asic pro)lem in a )roader context, directingour attention to tracing the actual source o! our pain and what we might do to aoid repeating theunpleasant experience. Deep relaxation is o! tremendous alue in helping us through stress/inducing changes. 't is alsoalua)le to hae a support s&stem o! empathetic !riends and to listen to teachers and guides with moreexperience. 't is crucial, howeer, to choose these people wisel&. *ou must )e certain that &our aluesand theirs are similar and that the& speak with honest& and integrit& and are not simpl& stroking &ourego )& telling &ou that &oure doing !ine as &ou steer toward the proer)ial cli!!. '! possi)le, spend timewith them when the& are not the center o! &our attention. +)sere how well their own lies areworking. %pend some time with them at home. -et to know who the& reall& are. '! the relationship &ou

esta)lish with them 7hums,8 then &ou can grant a certain amount o! alidit& to their input. How to onsciously and Intentionally reate 3our 'wn .eality

Theres a popular axiom that sa&s, 7We each create our own realit&.8 While there is some truthin this, it might )etter )e stated, 7We each create our own experience o! realit&.8 The !ollowing stor&helps to shed some light on this insight.

Moving to a New "own

@n a hot# dusty summer afternoon# a man driving a pic$up truc$ arrived at the outs$irts of atown. He noticed an old man sitting in a roc$ing chair on the porch of a house near the road. “0ay# old man#” he cried out# “can you give me some help! I(m loo$in( for a new place to live. What are peopleli$e in this town!”

"he old man eyed the pic$up truc$# which was piled high with beds# chairs# suitcases# and other personal belongings. “Where are you from!” he as$ed. “@ver yonder. /ouple hundred miles east of here#” he answered. “What were the people li$e in the town you came from!” the old man continued. “@h#” he said# “they were great people# salt of the earth. Went out of their way to do for youwhenever they could and never needed anything more than a than$2you in return. 8ovely people.” “Well#” said the old man#” you(ll find they(re the same in this town.” "he newcomer nodded than$s and drove on. +bout a half hour later# another man stopped in front of the old man(s house. His pic$up truc$#too# was piled high with boxes and furniture. “"ell me# old man#” he said# “what are the people li$e in this town!”

“+nd what were the people li$e in the town you came from!” “Bou don(t want to $now#” the newcomer replied sourly. “"hey were mean# spiteful# vicious gossips. Wretched people. "hey(d steal the shirt off your bac$# then blame you if it didn(t fit.” “Bou(ll find they(re the same here#” the old man assured him with a nod.”

+ur expectations are power!ul determinants o! what we will !ind. There is good and )ad ineer& person, and eer& group has people o! all arieties. What we end up !inding depends on what weare looking !or and what we are willing to see. '! we hae the inner )elie! that people are mean, !or instance, then our experience will )e



!iltered )& the preconscious part o! the mind4 we will see more and more eidence that this is true. Wewill !ind people who !it this description. This is not too hard to do. 'n addition, the unconscious parts o! the mind, in their 5uest to )e right @and aoid the stress o! )eing contradicted, can produce )ehaiorsthat will irritate, anno&, and otherwise a)use people, there)& causing them to treat us poorl&, andthere)& proing us 7right.8 This phenomenon o! the 7sel!/!ul!illing prophec&8 is closel& related to learned helplessness,

which we discussed in earlier chapters, and to what is called the P&gmalion e!!ect. "he Pygmalion #ffect

“If you treat an individual as he is# he will stay that way# but if you treat him as if he were what he could be# he will become what he could be.”

# <ohann Wol!gang on -oethe

'n a stud& per!ormed )& (osenthal and <aco)sen in CIK, groups o! children with normal '>s

were descri)ed to their teachers as )eing 7slightl& retarded.8 The teachers were then asked to make the )est o! the situation. The& were instructed to tr& and get the kids to pass their exams )ut not to expecttoo much. +ther teachers were gien groups o! students o! identical intellectual capacities, )ut were toldthat the& were especiall& gifted students and that the& could )e expected to do er& well on the tests atthe end o! the &ear. The !irst group o! students scored poorl& on their exams, and their teachers descri)ed the school&ear as )eing a er& di!!icult one. The second group o! students scored exceptionall& well on the tests,and the teachers descri)ed the &ear as )eing a delight!ull& rewarding one. The conclusion )& the researchers was that: 7The most unaoida)le conclusion is that theteachers attitudes and opinions regarding his students hae a signi!icant in!luence on their success in

school.8

Ma1e right .ats

We een hae to )e care!ul o! the in!ormation that comes to us !rom scienti!ic studies. 'n oneexperiment, ps&cholog& students were told that selectie )reeding had produced a genetic strain o! ratsthat were superior to normal rats when it came to running through ma;es. The& were also gien a groupo! supposedl& normal rats. The students =o) was to conduct a num)er o! scienti!ic experiments todetermine the a)ilities o! the di!!erent rat groups to learn. A!ter care!ull& o)sering the rats in a num)er o! experiments, the students inaria)l& concluded that the 7ma;e )right rats8 were distinctl& superior intheir pu;;le/soling a)ilities. The students !ound these rats more lika)le, so the& pla&ed with themmore.

't wasnt until the end o! the experiment that the students were in!ormed o! the truth: that thereis no such thing as a genetic strain o! 7ma;e )right rats8 and that the animals had )een randoml&assigned to the di!!erent groups. Their supposedl& care!ul and impartial o)serations had )eendecisiel& distorted )& their unconscious )elie!s. Not %eeing the Forest for the "rees

An excellent example o! how we ma& )e h&pnoti;ed )& our technolog& and miss higher/ordertruths is proided )& an eent that occurred to me in nurser& school. Though ' recall the eents onl&aguel&, the& were indeli)l& and clearl& impressed on m& mothers mind.



Nursery %chool lues

In an attempt to provide me with the highest uality learning# my mother enrolled me in anursery school program designed for especially bright children. "he teachers and professors who ranthis school wanted to provide high2uality learning experiences for the children who could mostbenefit from them. 1art of the curriculum involved intelligence testing# which# for nursery school

children# too$ the form of interaction with various toys# then evaluating those choices against a scientifically established norm. +ccordingly# I was tested. 'ollowing the test# the head of the school# instead of waiting for theregularly scheduled parent2teacher conference# saw fit to call my mother immediately. +t the meeting#with grave compassion# she sadly informed my mother that instead of being above average li$e most ofthe children in school# I had tested well below average# and that I was# in fact# retarded. 0he regrettedinforming my mother that she would have to remove me from the school and suggested that I beenrolled in a special2education program for the mentally handicapped. %y mother# herself an elementary2school teacher# was blown away. 0he couldn(t believe herears. Her personal experience was that I was anything but retarded# and she too$ me straightaway to ahigh2uality professional testing center in New Bor$. "he results this time were startlingly different. "hey determined that intellectually I was functioning at the level of a ten year old. "he test that had been used in the nursery school# designed asit was to evaluate the thought processes of a very young child# could not measure the $ind ofintelligence I demonstrated. %y mother was vindicated# and one of her fondest memories is of the head of the school formally apologi-ing and imploring her to re2enroll me with promises of specialopportunities. %other refused.

' grew up with this stor& as a )it o! the !amil& lore. 't was not told with )itterness or anger,howeer, )ut with pride and a sense o! ictor&. 't stood as a reminder o! the importance o! haing !aith,trusting ones instincts, haing the courage o! &our conictions, and most o! all, re!using to acceptother peoples negatie ealuations o! &ou

't is ital to understand how &our deeper mind can )e programmed and conditioned so that &oucan e!!ectiel& choose the kinds o! images and )elie!s &ou want to guide the !unctioning o! &our mindand )od&. $ext we will examine how meaning is made and how thinking takes place. "he asis of 2earning and onditioning

Learning and conditioning are er& closel& related actiities. When &ou learned to read, &ouconditioned &our cere)ral cortex to produce the 7A8 sound in response to seeing a certain s&m)ol onthe page. %oon this association )ecame a habit , and the s&m)ol 7A8 automaticall& stimulated the pairedmeaning. Then it was conditioned to )ring to mind an animal that sa&s 7)ow wow8 wheneer it seesthe s&m)ol 7dog.8 This conditioning took place through repeated exposures to situations in which thes&m)ol was presented along with its associated meaning.

onditioning ma& occur either in the la)orator& or in the course o! eer&da& li!e wheneer &ouare exposed to a series o! similar eents that hae some signi!icance or meaning !or &ou. 1suall& thissigni!icance can )e seen in the !orm o! a positie or negatie response, and is usuall& associated with acorrespondingl& pleasant or unpleasant emotion. @'! a pair o! associated eents hae no meaningwhatsoeer, no conditioning occurs4 nothing is learned. Each o! these conditioning eents consist o! a num)er o! stimuli @smells, sights, tastes, andsounds that impinge on the nerous s&stem. The particular group o! stimuli that is common to all theseconditioning eents is called the stimulus complex. When a particular stimulus complex is repeated a num)er o! times, and when one o! the stimuli



in this complex eokes a strong response @!or example, a shock or a reward, either approach @moingtoward or avoidance @moing awa& !rom conditioning takes place. +nce conditioning @or learninghas taken place, &our central nerous s&stem will associate all these stimuli with each other. 0rom that point on, wheneer &our nerous s&stem is presented with one or more elements o!the items associated with the stimulus complex @the sound o! the )ell, the sight o! a large )od& o!water, the thought o! giing a pu)lic lecture, it attempts to recreate the other elements of that stimulus

complex. When Palos dog hears the sound o! the )ell, he reproduces the other elements o! theconditioning experience, the saliation, the stomach stimulation, and the wagging tail, !or example. The !orce o! ha)it can )e swi!t to push us to !ailure or to success. The more we do something,the more likel& we are to do it again. Ha)it is like a ca)le#coiled, it )inds us as its slae4 stretched likea )ridge, it ena)les us to walk across the deepest alle& to !reedom. Ha)it is a !orm o! exercise. The a)ilit& to )e conditioned cone&s a huge eolutionar& adantage to those who hae it. 'nthe case o! aoidance conditioning, !or example, the )rain knows that somehow when the !ullcomplement o! stimuli was present, it suried. B& recreating all the stimuli, including whateer )ehaioral responses were present, its chances o! surial are increased. +ne o! the pro)lems o! aoidance conditioning, howeer, is that it tends to )ecome generali-ed. '!, !or instance, a small child has seeral experiences o! )eing scratched )& her cousinscat, !eeling pain, then running out o! the room, she ma& )ecome conditioned to aoid the cat. $ow,when one or more element o! that stimulus complex is presented, her central nerous s&stem creates theremaining ones. The sight o! her cousins cat ma& make her recoil. %oon she ma& resist een going toisit her cousins house. %he ma& een aoid her aunt in a restaurant This is a phenomenon known as7stimulus generali;ation.8 The partial stimuli in each o! these situations eokes, within her centralnerous s&stem, all the remaining elements o! the original stimulus complex, including !ear, pain,cr&ing, running, and een the image o! the cat in her mind, complete with the !eeling o! )eingscratched.

'n a similar manner, what )egins as a !ear o! )eing em)arrassed in the supermarket ma&generali;e and )ecome !ull/)lown agorapho)ia. The tendenc& o! negatie conditioning to generali;e isone o! the reasons we must )e er& aware o! its presence in our lies, and to aoid it wheneer possi)le. A second reason is )ecause o! its tendenc& to persist. "he Persistence of Negative Patterns

“Habits?the only reason they persist is that they are offering some satisfaction. We allow themto persist by not see$ing any other# better form of satisfying the same needs. &very habit# good or bad#

is acuired and learned in the same way?by finding that it is a means of satisfaction.”

#<ulienne Berk

The purpose o! all our responses to other people and the enironment is to make us !eel )etter,to reliee us o! ps&chological stress. Each time a conditioned pattern makes us !eel )etter and relieesstress in the unconscious mind, it )ecomes more strongl& conditioned, more deepl& ingrained, the7mental grooe8 )ecomes deeper. We should remem)er, howeer, that the choices we make to relieeour stress are not alwa&s good !or us in the long run. We make such choices onl& on the )asis o! theoptions we see that are open to us at the time. "uch later, we ma& see that we hae a great man& otheroptions, some that are !ar )etter than the one wee alread& chosen. But then the mental grooe has )een esta)lished, which can make it di!!icult to change our minds. Eer& time the alcoholic reliees his un)eara)le tension )& taking a drink, the automatic



response o! reaching !or li5uor is strengthened. Each time a headache !orces the migraine su!!erer tosta& home !rom work, the reward to the unconscious mind is a da& o! relie! !rom the a)use o!un)eara)le work demands, a cruel )oss, or other pressures, and !uture headaches )ecome more likel&.At the conscious leel, we ma& )e unhapp& with this )ehaior, )ut the e!!ect on the unconscious leel,continues to rein!orce the conditioning.

“1eople in distress will sometimes prefer a problem that is familiar to a solution that is not.”

#$eil Postman

This is wh& aoidance conditioning @or negatie conditioning tends to )ecome stronger. Thelower leels o! the nerous s&stem cannot look at the whole picture4 the& are concerned mainl& withsoling the immediate pro)lem. 't is true that most o! the time our greatest !ear is o! !ear itsel!. enial and Ill 2ogic

“"he basic difference between the psychotic and the neurotic is this

When you as$ the psychotic the sum of two and two# he answers# “0eventeen#” or “1urple.” When you as$ the neurotic# he answers# “'our# but it really ma$es me angry.” 'n our culture, we learn to aoid seeing that we hae a pro)lem, and in that wa& we aoidseeing our ina)ilit& to handle it. We hae )een trained that it is good to appear that we are in control atall times, and it is bad to )e out o! control. The cognitie dissonance that would occur i! we letourseles recogni;e that we are not in control leads us into the inner denial that preents us !rom !acingthe !act that we are out o! control. All this happens at the unconscious leel. The unconscious mind accomplishes this mechanism o! denial )& conincing the consciousmind that it is actuall& choosing the d&s!unctional )ehaior. This explains wh& people who arehopelessl& addicted to cigarettes o!ten take the position o!, 7$o ones going to tell me how to lie m&li!e. '! ' want to smoke, ' will smoke8 1n!ortunatel&, rationali;ation o! !undamentall& irrational

)ehaior simpl& in=ects more illogic @ill logic and incoherence into our total s&stem, and we )ecomeeen more stuck and more out o! )alance. hange "hrough %elf*&cceptance

“"he curious paradox is that when I accept myself ,ust as I am# then I can change.”

# arl (ogers

$ow, in order to change, the person must not onl& admit that the )ehaior is mediated )&unconscious patterns, )ut also that their claims to hae )een in control were )ogus. '! the person hasmade this claim to a large num)er o! people @!or example, )& !orming an organi;ation to protect therights o! smokers disen!ranchised )& laws against smoking in restaurants, their ego inestment )ecomes so great that addressing the ha)it )ecomes all )ut impossi)le.

"he %oldier5s "herapy

"wo former +rmy buddies meet on the street after not having seen each other for 7G years. “Whatever happened with your problem of bedwetting!” as$s the first. “I remember you used



%o, in a certain er& real sense, all &ou can know o! the outside world is groups o!electrochemical metaphors on the cortex o! the )rain. *our reactions, !eelings, and responses are notactuall& due directl& to what is going on in the world around us. (ather, the& are the result o!conclusions )ased on those metaphors @images. 1suall& this arrangement works out 5uite well. '! we had to somehow put an elephant inside o!our head in order !or &ou to think a)out it, the world would )e !ar too unwield& !or us to deal with. An

architect doesnt hae to hold each piece o! wood in his hand in order to design a )uilding. 'n !act, oncehe has )een trained, he can design an entire )uilding, all the wa& down to the doorkno)s and lightswitches, without eer leaing his dra!ting ta)le or computer. 'n a similar manner, the higher leels o! our minds can !unction er& well, sole pro)lems,make plans, and )e 5uite creatie through working with the images we hae stored there, proided thatour inner images are high2uality metaphors !or what is going on in the world around us. '! our sel!/image is !ault&, howeer, or i! the world works in a wa& signi!icantl& di!!erent !rom the wa& weimagine that it works, then we run into trou)le. Sound1 in the Fore1t

“If a tree falls in a remote area of the forest# miles from the nearest animal or human# does it

ma$e a sound!”

#Ancient philosophical 5uer&

Although !or the person stud&ing philosoph& or 6en, this 5uestion ma& generate a stimulatingariet& o! responses, !or our purposes here, wed hae to conclude that there is no sound until there isan ear to hear, a nere s&stem to carr& the impulses to a )rain, and a su!!icientl& deeloped )rain todiscern a coherent pattern amidst all the )ackground noise. This perceied pattern is what we mean )&7sound.8 We could carr& the same metaphor oer into the experience o! looking at a lush rain !orest.Those o! us with normal ision would agree that it is green, )ut to a color/)lind person it would not )e

green at all. 't is green onl& )ecause our senses interpret the stimulation the& are receiing as green.

“What we observe is not nature itself# but nature exposed to our method of uestioning. ..natural science does not simply describe and explain nature# it is part of the interplay between nature

and ourselves.”

#Walter Heisen)erg

We all hae our own )elie!s a)out the world and a realit& that depends on how we look at it.

The phenomena we know as sel!/!ul!illing prophecies, denial and pro=ection, are simpl& arti!acts thatappear as a result o! the instrument @the )rain we are using to interact with the world. "he Mechanical loodhound

@ne of my neurology professors was fond of saying that “man will never be able to build amechanical bloodhound that wor$s as well as the one nature created.” He would go on to describehow a fugitive running from the law deposits with each footstep# through the leather of his shoes# themost minute uantity of protein molecules from his body. 0ince he is ta$ing tens of thousands of footsteps# this amount must be very small# indeed. +nd immediately after it is deposited# this minuscule



amount begins to evaporate and be carried away by bree-es. + few hours later# a bloodhound arrives on the scene. =y sniffing the trail# the dog(s nose candistinguish the smell of this man(s uniue protein from the protein of every other human being andanimal on earth. 'urthermore# he is able to do this from the minute amount of chemical still left afterthe man has gone by. Next# the bloodhound runs five yards in this direction and five yards in the other direction#

smelling the trail the whole time. Incredibly# his nose can detect that there are a few more moleculesescaping per second from the footprints in the north direction than from those in the southerlydirection. "he bloodhound then bar$s confidently to let his handlers $now that the culprit is movingnorthward. +nd the dog(s nose is able to do this in spite of wind# the smells of other animals that have passed by# the strong smell of lilac blooming nearby# and so forth.

The human nerous s&stem is certainl& no less sensitie than the )loodhounds. 'ndeed, it ismore sensitie. The di!!erence is that in the human )eing, the part o! the )loodhound responsi)le !orealuating smells, the ol!actor& cortex, has eoled. 't has grown !rom )eing the si;e o! an almond, asit is in lower animals, and now coers the entire sur!ace o! our )rain. The name we gie it is the

neocortex# or gray matter. This is the ama;ing apparatus with which we think and that has allowed usthe phenomenal eolutionar& success we now en=o&. All the ex5uisite sensitiit&, accurac&, anddiscernment that the )loodhounds nose is capa)le o! in the world o! smells, our cortex is capa)le o! inthe world o! ideas. How )i;arre to think that this !ine instrument o! thinking, !eeling, and perceiing that we possess could also lead us to indulge in chronic alcoholism, procrastination, stage !right, oruncontrolla)le !its o! temper#or that it could support crippling headaches, high )lood pressure,o)esit&, and cancer learl&, this could onl& come a)out i! the instrument has )ecome so )am)oo;led )& all the choices it is capa)le o! making that it )ecomes incapa)le o! operating e!!icientl& ande!!ectiel&. 'n the case o! a )loodhound, we ma& )e!uddle his !ine nose )& dragging the proer)ial red

herring across the trail. The smell o! the herring is so oerpowering that it sends the )loodhoundssensitie mechanism into a tailspin, and the dog runs aimlessl& around in circles, )arking in !rustration. "an& o! us hae )een trained )& incoherent !amilies and an insensitie culture to drag ps&chological red herrings across our thought trails. 'n e!!ect, through our sel!/criticism, guilt, andshame, we constantl& pelt ourseles with red herrings. The human nerous s&stem is treated moregentl& )& nature than an& other organ. 't is encased in the hardest )one, !loats in the so!test, purestli5uid, and is protected )& the highl& sensitie )lood/)rain )arrier. To operate it properl&, we musta)andon the hea&/handed approaches o! the past and respect its needs and the language it speaks.

“We are all in the gutter# but some of us have our eyes on the stars.”

#Tennessee Williams

"hinking in Metaphors

“%y ideas come unbidden# indirectly# directly. I could grasp them with my hands4 in the midst of nature# in the woods# on wal$s# in the silence of night# in the early morning# inspired by moods that



translate themselves into words for the poet and into tones for me# that sound# surge# roar# until at last they stand before me as notes.”

# Ludwig on Beethoen

The ultimate source o! all our in!ormation, experiences, reactions, and responses is to )e !oundin the images @chemical patterns we hae in our minds. We )ase all our decisions on these images, andthe )elie!s that hae grown out o! them. The resulting )ehaior ma& or ma& not sere us well in dealingwith the world. The good news is that once &ou hae learned how to !orm or modi!& &our mentalimages and metaphors, &ou will hae the a)ilit& to intentionally in!luence man& leels o! experienceand )ehaior. When &ou relax deepl&, suspend dis)elie!, and hold a clear image in &our mind, su)ordinateleels o! &our thinking apparatus accept this as realit&. These leels cannot tell an inner image that &ouhae created !rom &our memor& )anks !rom an inner image that has )een produced through the directaction o! external !orces acting on neres. This is wh& it is wise to pa& conscious attention to theaccurac& and ade5uac& o! the images and metaphors that are guiding &our li!e. A little mistake can

create a )ig pro)lem. "he 2ing od

@nce a certain ichthyologist decided to offer a public lecture on a particular species of fish# the 8ing /od. +ccordingly# he called the newspaper and as$ed that a notice be placed announcing hislecture. @n that day# when the editor read the announcement# he decided that the secretary must havemade a typographical error in the message she had heard on the phone# and figured that “8ing” should have been “8iving.” 0he changed the copy accordingly. "he typesetter# when he saw the words“8iving /od#” figured there probably was a typographical error and changed it to “"he 8iving od.” "he scientist was uite pleased when he heard there was an unusually large group coming that

night. =ut the inner image he held did not bear much resemblance to what was to ta$e place. +s hewal$ed out on the stage# he was uite pu--led to see nearly every person in the audience was aclergyman. 0imilarly# his audience was uite shoc$ed to discover that the image of what they would behearing was uite different from reality. Instead of a discussion of religion# the lecturer started tal$ingabout a fish5

hange 3our Mind, hange 3our 2ife

'! &ou close &our e&es and imagine a er& relaxing or a er& empowering scene, such aswalking on the )each with &our dearest !riend, the resulting electrochemical pattern on the cortex willtend to gie rise to nerous and hormonal discharges that will produce !eelings and )ehaiorsconsistent with this picture. This is the )asic idea o! how guided imager& works. 't is called guidedimager& )ecause we do not simpl& allow whateer image comes along to sta& there4 rather, weintentionally select @guide certain images to pro=ect on our mental screen#images that will help us toelicit desira)le !eelings and responses !rom the )od& and mind. 'n therap&, when ' work with a particular person, ' hae the opportunit& to in!luence man&leels o! mind or )od& )& guiding the conscious awareness. Through deep relaxation, we can inhi)itanxiet&, stress, and tension. We can create new realities and new, more adaptie !unctional responsesto replace old, d&s!unctional conditioned reactions.



Through the use o! selectie awareness, which wee explored in this )ook, we can )ring tomind a certain image, ision, or stor&. We can ampli!& the power!ul emotions associated with it. And )ecause o! the law of dominant effect , )& making these emotions 5uite strong, we in!luence the entires&stem to )ehae in a manner consistent with the new image we hae )rought to mind. Anunderstanding o! emotions and their role in the ecolog& o! the mind/)od& complex is o)iousl& o!enormous alue.

#motions4atalysts for 2ife hange

“0eeing is believing# but feeling(s the truth.”

# 0olk sa&ing

We hae spoken o! there )eing !ie )asic emotional states: anger, sadness, =o&, !ear, anddisgust. 'n addition, there are innumera)le nuances o! each and still more textures aaila)le throughcom)ining them#)ittersweet good)&es )eing an example.

Although the& are central to our lies, widespread cultural denial, distortion, manipulation, andmisin!ormation hae made emotions di!!icult !or most o! us to talk a)out and understand. Emotions arecentral to all the important decisions in our lies, and our own health or disease, !unction ord&s!unction, success or !ailure will )e determined )& the eentual outcome o! these decisions. *et, in the dominant culture, it is considered an insult to )e la)eled emotional. Bo&s and &oungmen are taught to )ottle up their !eelings, and most people, )oth male and !emale, !eel em)arrassed i!their !eelings show. As children we heard, 7%top cr&ing or 'll gie &ou something to cr& a)out,8 or7Hide &our !eelings !rom others or the&ll take adantage o! &ou.8 Wee )een called weak,manipulatie, )itch&, grouch&, part&/pooper, coward, wimp, gidd&, and siss& in response to certainemotions wee expressed. We aoid the so/called negatie emotions @anger, !ear, and sadness )ecause we dont reall&

know the& are tolera)le or that we can learn alua)le lessons )& allowing ourseles to experience them.When we hae dealt with our emotions in a health& wa&, what we hae learned will preent us !romrepeating pain!ul mistakes o! the past. +! course it is precisel& )ecause emotions are so central and power!ul that our culture places somuch emphasis on suppressing them, in the hope o! controlling us and thus keeping order. And )ecause emotions hae )een associated onl& with punishment and re=ection, the& represent!or man& o! us an endless pit o! pain that must )e aoided at all costs. This leads to another un!ortunateconse5uence4 when ones primar& goal in li!e is to aoid pain, the result is an aoidance o! li!e itsel!,and the deelopment o! dependenc& or addiction. Fear of %uccess

Ama;ingl&, man& people are so a!raid o! success that the& sa)otage themseles. The& hae )een conditioned to aoid the 7positie8 emotions o! =o&, relaxation, loe, and enthusiasm. This is )ecause past experience has created the expectation that een though &ou are en=o&ing &oursel! toda&,ineita)l& 7the other shoe will soon drop and then &oull )e sorr&8 True, letting something good into&our li!e carries with it the possi)ilit& that the good thing will later )e lost. To protect ourseles !romdisappointment or loss, we literall& learn to suppress our =o&. We gra) the reins and pull ourseles to ascreeching halt to preent ourseles !rom prematurel& cele)rating our successes. The !ollowing stor& isa wonder!ul illustration o! how this mechanism works.

"he Pragmatic Pessimist



$ow there is nothing in the world that laudia loed more than the rich sounds o! a %teinwa&,and when her parents led her onto the stage, she )arel& took note o! the !act that there was a hugeaudience watching. All she could see was that huge, long, )lack %teinwa&. Awestruck, she walkedslowl& oer to it and caressed its glistening, lac5uered sur!ace. -ingerl&, she li!ted the coer !rom theke&)oard4 silentl& and care!ull& she sat down, almost as i! she was a!raid that the slightest sound would!righten this ex5uisite gi!t and send it scurr&ing awa& !rom her.

%he pla&ed the !irst note, then the second and third. Her e&es inoluntaril& closed as she heardher !ingers pla&ing one o! her !aorite tunes. Tentatiel& at !irst, then graduall&, with more and morecon!idence, her !ingers, hands, and arms melted into the ke&)oard. The music expanded to aresounding crescendo, then so!tened to a whispered pianissimo. Enthralled, laudia entered a state o! ecstas&. The pla&ing was as e!!ortless as eer, and themusic eer so much more )eauti!ul as a result o! the splendid instrument. The next two hours did not pass 5uickl&4 time =ust didnt exist !or laudia. %omehow her )od& knew when to stop, and she let her )eloed %teinwa& sustain the last note until the sounding )oard was completel& silent. %uddenl&, there was a sound like thunder, as the audience )roke into enthusiastic applause.laudia turned with a start to see eer&one on their !eet cheering !or her. $ext, an odd !eeling came oer laudia. %he had neer pla&ed the piano !or an&one elsesen=o&ment, and it had neer )een a source o! either approal or disapproal !or her. As the wild applause continued, the !eeling grew stronger. 7' did something good. ' didsomething er& good. The& are reall& happ& a)out what ' did, and the& reall& like me.8 As these thoughts !illed her mind, the !eelings grew een stronger. laudia, who had alwa&s )een rather sh& and unsure o! hersel! around people, )egan to !eel her chest swell with pride. %he !eltlike a princess. $o, like a 5ueen %he )egan to !eel deliriousl& happ&. 7The& like me The& like me )ecause ' did something er& good.8 %uddenl& there was the !lash o! an idea in the )ack o! her mind and a gnawing !eeling in the pito! her stomach. 7But what did ' doM Whateer could hae made them so happ&M8 The notion o! hermusic making someone else happ& was a !oreign concept to laudia. 7What did ' do to )ring a)out this wonder!ul !eelingM8 Her mind raced !aster and !aster. The!eeling o! pride 5uickl& drained !rom her chest, and !ear and anxiet& crept upward !rom her stomach. 7+h, m& -od %uppose next time ' pla& ' dont do the right thingM '! the& dont !eel good, the&wont like me. The& might een get mad at me and scold me.8 laudias e&es )egan to )lur oer, andher hands )egan to trem)le. %he remem)ered the times she had )een scolded !or not liing up to othersexpectations. Beneath her, her legs )egan to !eel like =ell&. Be!ore she knew what she was doing, shewas running as !ast as she could o!! the stage and hiding )ehind the curtain. Her surprised parents came and rescued her, letting her know that she had not )ehaed 7like alad&,8 )ecause she had run o!! without thanking the audience !or all the support the& had gien her. laudias loe !or the piano continued, )ut she neer !elt good again during a per!ormance.Through tensing hersel! up, she was a)le to gie concerts, )ut through her entire childhood she spentCJ minutes in the )athroom omiting )e!ore each recital.

Although an excellent pianist who tried to share her gi!t with others, laudia could neer en=o&the experience. %he knew, consciousl&, that there was reall& no danger, )ut her )od& kept reliing theancient childhood !ear that something )ad would happen and that she did not know the 7secret8 that pleased others so much a)out her per!ormances. +nce again, we can see the enormous alue o! deep relaxation, which is, in man& wa&s, thetraining we need to let eer&thing go. The more o!ten &ou let &oursel! come into the present andexperience &oursel! as whole and complete while sitting com!orta)l& in a chair, the less attachment &ouwill hae to external things. '! ' am seated, deepl& relaxed, relatiel& !ree o! unnecessar& ph&sical,



mental, or emotional tension, it doesnt make an& di!!erence i! ' =ust receied a gi!t o! SC, or i! ' =ustlost SC,. ' can )e relaxed and en=o& the )eaut& and =o& o! this moment. This is the position o! greatest power and !reedom4 when something good and en=o&a)le isaaila)le, ' can partake o! it4 when it is gone, ' can let it go. Deep relaxation and selectie awarenesscan gie us access to this attitude. "he artesian ouble*ind

"an& o! the pro)lems that we hae accepting and understanding our emotions can )e traced )ack to (ene Descartes. The deelopment o! the science o! the human )od& had )een st&mied )& thehurchs rigid resistance to the notion o! looking inside the )od&, per!orming surger&, or een doingautopsies. Descartes proided a wa& out o! this pro)lem. His concept that mind and )od& are separateena)led the church to continue to hold dominion oer the spirit and the 7mind,8 while allowingscientists to inestigate the supposedl& completel& separate )od&, which in their e&es was nowsomehow less sacred and more a part o! the animal world. As is so a)undantl& clear, howeer, mind and )od& are not reall& separate. 0urthermore, tounderstand how our thoughts and images impact our emotions and hence our lies and health, we needto )uild a )ridge across this gul! thats )een created )etween )od& and mind. Emotions are the girderso! this )ridge. I Feel, "herefore I &m

Although ' o!ten re!er to the limitations o! the artesianO$ewtonian model o! the unierse, 'hope it is also clear how much ' respect these earl& scientists creatiit&, and the phenomenal adancesin human thinking and culture the& !ostered. A!ter all, without it ' could not )e walking through thewet, !lourishing spring a!ternoon in the %ierra !oothills, speaking into a hand/held Dictaphone to recordthe words &ou are now reading. Their thinking did, indeed, lead to the technological era we now en=o&. But knowledge, like culture, cannot )e static and still )e liel& and !ull& use!ul to us. Descartes7/ogito ergo sum @' think, there!ore ' am8 loses its cachet in a world where computers think wellenough to whip chess masters. 'n !act, computers can easil& )e programmed to 7think8 and print outexactl& the words Descartes thought onl& humans could utter: 7' think there!ore ' am.8 Descartes )elie!s )ecame limiting !actors in our lies, since the& ultimatel& helped to shame our cultural s&stemin such a wa& as to re=ect the importance o! our !eelings, and een to make us !eel em)arrassed orashamed !or haing them @except within rigidl& prescri)ed limits. Thoughts were respected andcele)rated4 !eelings were condemned. 't has alwa&s sered the goals o! the rich and power!ul to keep people !eeling disempoweredand helpless. With the human )eings natural desire !or e5ualit& and !reedom, and with an innateattraction to meaning and purpose in li!e, it is clear wh& it has alwa&s sered the dominant s&stem to dowhateer it could to keep the larger population disempowered.

“=y believing passionately in something that still does not exist# we create it. "he nonexistent is

whatever we have not sufficiently desired.”

#$icos 2a;antsakis

' )eliee that with the in!ormation reolution, the technological age is now coming to aclimactic turning point. 1ntil recentl&, its path had )een to inexora)l& enslae, control, limit, andsuppress the mass o! humanit&. The human spirit, i! empowered and in!used with the !lames o! passion,can ena)le us to throw o!! the &oke.



go into a de!ensie mode and which most o! us want to aoid, were Bruce Lees wa& o! !eelingstronger. He used these phenomena as a statement o! his strength, rather than eidence o! his weakness@the usual interpretation. And wh& notM A!ter all, these sensations reall& do mean that adrenaline has )een released into the )od&. This adrenaline prepares our )odies !or the 7!ight/or/!light8 response. 't isthen up to the mind to determine which course o! action to take. The other thing to keep in mind has to do with this same !ight/or/!light response. 0or example,

when we experience anger#which so o!ten triggers the adrenaline wee )een talking a)out#whatappears to )e true to us ma& not )e true at all. Let me gie &ou an example: @nce# while seated in a motionless passenger train waiting for a friend# I noticed the train nextto me slipping toward the rear. %y immediate interpretation was that the train I was on had begun tomove. +s my friend had not yet reboarded the train from the platform# I was sei-ed with fear. + few seconds later# I reali-ed that it was the other train that was moving# not the train that I was on. Nevertheless# the image I had of imminent loss was sufficient to produce the feeling of fear# with itscharacteristic shot of adrenaline preparing my body for action. Anger

“0omething of value is threatened# and I can act in some way to protect it.”

#Author unknown

The emotion o! anger is concerned with threat and potential loss, )ut it is also associated with adi!!erent sel!/image. 'n this case, as with !ear, the world iew &ou hold is that something o! alue to&ou is threatened. The di!!erence is that &ou also hold the image o! &oursel! as possessing the power tosomehow de!end against that threat. The electrochemical pattern that appears on the cere)ral cortex in response to this imagegenerates emotions and a ph&siological state that empowers and actiates us. +ur su)=ectie report is o! !eeling angr&.

When people hae )een trained to suppress the awareness and expression o! angr& !eelings,the& !eel, instead, disempowerment, helplessness, or chronic tension. +nce again, the inner image &ou hold in &our mind might not )e an accurate representation o!the ph&sical or social realities o! the situation. 'nappropriate assertieness could inite traged&. Eer&&ear people are seerel& in=ured )ecause the& hae the inner image o! haing the power to de!end their picnic cooler !rom )ears. onersel&, school )ullies are a)le to retain their power onl& so long as thosethe& terrori;e are not aware o! their own strength. %adness and 8rief

'! the inner image we hae sa&s that something o! alue to me has )een permanentl& lost, theelectrochemical pattern on the cortex stimulates the )rain to produce a er& di!!erent internal state. '!

we are asked what we !eel at this time, we will report !eeling sad, sorrow!ul, unhapp&, or despairing.The ph&siological purpose o! this inner state is to ena)le the s&stem to completel& release the thing thathas )een lost, to griee !or it and to esta)lish a new wholeness in its a)sence. This loss need not )e a ph&sical one4 an emotional loss, or a loss o! sel!/esteem ma& )e een more pain!ul.

“8ife is a series of experiences# each one of which ma$es us bigger# even though sometimes it ishard to reali-e this. 'or the world was built to develop character# and we must learn that the setbac$s

and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward.”



# Henr& 0ord

This response is the emotional e5uialent o! the ph&sical response that takes place a!ter a piercing wound to the skin. >uickl&, the area around the wound swells up and turns red within!lammation. This is a part o! the process o! closing the wound. %ince the )od&s integrit& has )een

interrupted, the hole must )e closed. Analogousl&, when we hold in mind the image o! haing lost something o! alue, it is a woundto our ps&che. We must griee this loss in order to return to wholeness. When a loss is not grieed,wholeness is not restored, and an unsta)le condition results. 0re5uentl&, this is the source o!depression. ' knew o! a woman whose child died suddenl& in an automo)ile accident. %he was so undone )&the experience that she couldnt )ear to een think a)out it. %he was una)le to een attend the !uneral.%he went into a prolonged state o! denial and continued to set a place at the dinner ta)le !or her childeach night. +n the other hand, !amil& and !riends had to aoid eer sa&ing the childs name or talkinga)out him )ecause to do so would send her running !rom the room in tears.

“Bou cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head# but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.”

#hinese Proer)

%ince cr&ing is part o! the natural expression and experience o! sadness, which is part o! thecrucial process o! grieing and returning to wholeness, our cultural prohi)itions against cr&ing can )eseen to )e 5uite harm!ul. Although cr&ing in response to a loss ma& not )e su!!icient )& itsel! to restorewholeness to the s&stem, it is one important aspect o! the grieing process. Learning how to allow&oursel! to cr& at appropriate times can )e o! great )ene!it in maintaining a health& )alance. isgust

Disgust is generall& an emotional association with an image o! )eing ph&sicall& or sexuall&inaded. 't is also experienced with the externali;ation o! the )od&s contents, which can occur with thesight o! )lood, urine, and !ecal matter. oy

“We find the greatest ,oy# not in getting# but in expressing what we are. %en do not really live for honors or for pay4 their gladness is not in the ta$ing and holding# but in the doing# the striving# the

building# the living. It is a higher ,oy to teach than to be taught. It is good to get ,ustice# but better todo it4 fun to have things# but more to ma$e them. + happy man is he who lives the life of love# not for the honors it may bring# but for the life itself.”

#(.<. Baughan

What is =o&M 's it happinessM ertainl& &ou experience positie !eelings when &ou achieesomething &ou hae worked !or. 't also !eels good when sudden good !ortune !alls into &our lap.



Theres een a good !eeling when a toothache lets up or when &our lost child is !inall& !ound. The deepest sense o! =o& is not a reaction to some eent, )ut an in)orn 5ualit&. 't is aspontaneous 5ualit&#one that is not gained, )ut reealed when we are sa!e and nurtured. 't iswholeness and )elonging, )oundless curiosit&, pla&!ulness, and the desire to make connection. <o& is the 5ualit& that is present in the ulnera)le openness o! the in!ant and ma& )e as 5uiet asa child silentl& picking !lowers in a spring meadow or as nois& and )oisterous as =umping up and down

on the )ed. 0ew o! us are allowed to remain in this )lessed state !or long. -raduall&, een in earl&childhood, the course o! our lies exposes us to situations that pull us awa& !rom it. +!ten, while watching a )eauti!ul sunset, clim)ing a ma=estic mountain, or sharing intimac&with another, we set aside our !ears and cares and rediscoer this natural state. The happiness we !eel atthat time is, in a sense, the thrill o! recognition o! our natie )eing. 1n!ortunatel&, trained as we hae )een )& our culture, we o!ten identi!& the =o& with the eent that reintroduced us to it. We then )ecomeattached to that person, place, or thing, neer reali;ing that the =o& we seek is actuall& within us. 'ndoing this, we inadertentl& plant the seeds o! the destruction o! that =o& )& either tr&ing to own itssupposed source, or through anxiet& oer its possi)le disappearance.

“What is all the beauty in all the world! "he image# li$e uivering boughs reflected in a

stream# of that eternal orchard which abides unwithered in the hearts of perfect men.”

# (umi

"he "reasure Is $ithin

When we care!ull& consider what reall& )rings us a sense o! alieness and !ul!illment, wediscoer it is all within us. 't has to do with our emotions, with the intangi)le, the inisi)le#a part o!our capacit& to experience ourseles !unctioning within the world. To den& our capacit& to experienceour emotions is literall& to ro) us o! that part o! our lies. As we consider all that our lies are a)out,

there are !ew who would disagree with the !ollowing statement )& an American mathematician and philosopher: “"he poets are entirely mista$en. "hey should address their lyrics to themselves# and shouldturn them into odes of self2congratulation on the excellency of the human mind. Nature is a dull affair# soundless# scentless# colorless merely the hurrying of material# endlessly# meaninglessly.”

C "iller, Alice4 'or Bour @wn ood

(o)ert (osenthal and Lenore <aco)son, 1ygmalion in the /lassroom# Holt, (inehartWinston, CIK. A phenomenon related to 7!lash)acks,8 which o!ten occur when a person isits the scene o!an emotionall& moing eent. This ma& )e positie, such as hearing &our roommate sing when isiting&our old college dorm room, or negatie, such as the !lash)acks to a war experience or the memor& o!childhood a)use while watching a moie.

HAPTE( TH'(TEE$(ESONANCE AN" INTE#(IT+,

#)I"ELINES TO A %I#%E( O("E(



OF %EALIN#

“Ontwisting all the chains that tie the hidden soul of harmony.”

# <ohn "ilton

We must alwa&s remem)er that although we guide our lies )ased on our world iew, sel!/image, and the maps we hae created !or naigating through li!e, the images and )elie!s we hold in ourconsciousness ma& )e onl& partiall& accurate.

&nimal rackers

+llison is a friend who had to fly often for business purposes. 0he never li$ed planes orairports# but had developed a little ritual that made air travel more comfortable for her. +lthough she generally stayed away from all sweets# whenever she had to fly# she would buy

herself a box of animal crac$ers# the $ind that we used to get at the circus. 0he found that munching onthem in the waiting room and while waiting for the plane to ta$e off brought bac$ the warm# fu--y feelings of childhood and helped the time pass more agreeably. @ne day# while sitting in the waiting area before boarding her plane# she noticed the man sitting next to her reaching over and ta$ing some crac$ers out of the box sitting on the chair next toher. +t first she was a bit ta$en abac$# but then she thought perhaps it was ,ust the custom in this partof the country to ta$e a bit of whatever someone else is eating. =ut he didn(t stop with that. He $ept reaching over again and again# sometimes ta$ing severalcoo$ies at once. What(s more# he didn(t say anything to her nor did he loo$ at her# or give any signthat he even $new she was sitting there. =ut it really began to gall her when each time she reached out and too$ a coo$ie# he glared at

her through the corner of his eyes with his eyebrows raised. “"his is too much5” she thought to herself.“8ocal custom or not# I don(t li$e it.” 'inally# by the time the announcement was made to board the plane# she was furious. ust at hewas about to bra-enly dip his hand in for one of the last coo$ies in the box# she reached out andviolently snatched it away. "he man ,umped bac$# ,er$ing his hand away# and the boo$s he had beenholding on his lap fell to the ground. +llison en,oyed more than a little satisfaction as she strode purposefully toward the plane#clutching the animal crac$er box in her hand. “"hat(ll teach him. ust who does he thin$ he is#anyway!” she said to herself. =y the time +llison had stowed her carry2ons and belted herself into her seat# she had nearly forgotten about the incident?at least until she opened her purse to get a boo$ to read# only to see the

box of coo$ies she had purchased sitting unopened in the depths of her bag. "o this day# she still sometimes wonders what that man must have thought when the woman who had been helping herself tohis coo$ies suddenly snatched them all for herself.

+ur image o! the world can )e 5uite di!!erent !rom whats actuall& out there. *et, right orwrong, accurate or inaccurate, what we believe to )e true continues to guide our actions. Had Allisonnot looked into her )ag when she did, she might hae continued to )eliee this was a er& rude man.But it would not hae )een the wonder!ul lesson it turned out to )e, a)out checking her assumptions@her world iew )e!ore acting. Without such lessons#some call them 7lessons in humilit&8#her error



might hae !ed !orward and set up other unproductie, !rustrating, or em)arrassing experiences in herli!e. '! that man turned out to )e a participant in an important meeting later that week, !or instance,Allison would hae a di!!icult time trusting him and coming to an agreement. +r she might simpl& addthis experience to her list o! 7=usti!ications8 !or distrusting men.

& .eal PigC

"he importance of assumptions is well illustrated by a news story I heard about a man whose girlfriend had been complaining to him about his chauvinistic ways. "hin$ing about this while drivinghome# he was startled by a woman in a convertible swerving into his lane# coming from the oppositedirection around a blind corner. “1ig5” he heard her shout as she hurtled past. 'urious at what he too$ to be an absurd obscenity? after all# she was the one who crossed intohis lane?he screamed bac$ an insult# stomped on the gas# sped round the turn...and crashed broadsideinto a large pig standing in the middle of the highway.

$eed we sa& that the image !ormed in this mans mind was )ased on assumptions that cloudedhis assessment o! the presentM The result was that his misinterpretation o! a -ood %amaritans )est

e!!orts to help him aoid an accident actuall& caused him to kill a pig and smash up the !ront o! his car. %ocial Influences on #0perience and elief

Although most people are aware o! the critical part pla&ed )& the social enironment in ourchildhoods, !ew appreciate the pro!ound e!!ects that our dail& social interactions hae on our perception o! realit&.

"he .ed*Hatted "hief

"he degree to which our perceptions# beliefs# and behaviors can be distorted by environmentalcues is truly breathta$ing# as the following study demonstrates. 'ifteen college students are assembledin the classroom on the first day of class. "he professor comes in with a briefcase# sets it on the des$#

scratches his head# then turns to the class and says# “I forgot my slides. I(ll be right bac$.” Having said this# he leaves the room. +bout 9G seconds later# a man wal$s into the room wearing a red cowboy hat# casually pic$s upthe professor(s briefcase# and leaves. +bout a minute or two later# the professor returns# loo$s at thedes$# then turns to the class and says# “What happened to my briefcase!” In actuality# only one of those in the class is a student# the other 6: are wor$ing for the professor. "hey begin to describe to him how a man in a yellow cowboy hat came in and carried it off. +t this point# the professor turns to the unwitting sub,ect of the experiment and says# “Did you seehim!” +fter this uestion is answered in the affirmative# the professor continues# “+nd he had on a yellow hat!” 1rofoundly influenced by the social setting# the answer is usually# “Bes# it was a yellow

hat.” In fact# unbelievable as it may seem# some KG percent of the sub,ects in these experimentsagreed that the hat was yellow. + few sub,ects ualified their response by “recalling” that it was a yellow hat with a red hatband or it had a red feather on it or something# but they all agreed that it was yellow. However# most felt completely comfortable about agreeing that the hat was yellow.

't turns out that not onl& perceptions, )ut also )ehaior, can )e altered in !undamental wa&s )&minor social cues. We sometimes talk a)out 7mo) ps&cholog&,8 choosing that term )ecause it makes us



think we are talking a)out people who are di!!erent and somehow in!erior to us. This, too, is acom!orta)le )ut erroneous assumption.

Prisoners and 8uards

In a study performed by 1hilip Pimbardo at 0tanford Oniversity# students were dividedarbitrarily into two groups called “prisoners” and “guards.” 1risoners were told that for the next

wee$ they were under the control of the guards. "he guards were told that their ,ob was to guard the prisoners. &ven though these were intelligent# well2sociali-ed college students# as time wore on# the guards became more and more brutal toward their captives. "heir behavior became so inhumane# in fact# that the experiment actually had to be stopped prematurely after several days.

%impl& assigning the students roles and titles triggered such a shi!t in their images o!themseles and the world that the& )egan )ehaing in wa&s the& would neer hae considered undernormal circumstances. ' know man& people who hae worked in corporations or in !actories who canattest to the !act that giing a person a title o!ten changes their personalit& dramaticall&. 'n !act, thewell/recogni;ed Hawthorne &ffect tells us that een ostensi)l& neutral changes in a persons perceied

enironment can produce positie changes in )ehaior, simpl& )ecause that enironmental change has )een perceied )& the person. A curious )ut not unusual phenomenon sometimes occurs when a couple gets married.Although their sexual relationship was actie and en=o&a)le !or &ears )e!ore this @the& ma& een hae )een liing together, the sex drie !or one o! them ceases a)ruptl& immediatel& a!ter the marriage.%ometimes the !ailure to respond actuall& )egins on the wedding night. The assumptions hidden in thewords wife and husband are so di!!erent !rom those in girlfriend and lover that a completel& di!!erentstate o! consciousness ensues, one that does not inite romantic )ehaior. '! we want to lie our lies in a trul& conscious and intentional wa&, we must recogni;e that weall hae assumptions that are inaccurate. 't is part o! )eing human. Although most are not as dramaticas the examples gien here, the& can create dissonance and d&s!unction internall& and in our

relationships with others. The lack o! resonance markedl& inhi)its our a)ilit& to respond creatiel& toli!es challenges. .esonance and 2ife

We hae all noticed, at one time or another, that it is especiall& !un to sing in the shower. Thisis )ecause the hard tile walls and !loor re!lect the sound )ack to &ou. B& matching &our oice to thenote &ou sang =ust a instant ago, &ou can control the tone and tim)re )etter and sing more di!!icult passages. *ou ma& also hae noticed that under these conditions, certain tones come out much louderthan others although &ou sing them all at a)out the same olume. This is )ecause eer& )ounded space,whether it is &our )athroom, the )od& o! a guitar, or the interior o! a oke )ottle, has a certain resonant

!re5uenc&. The air within this space ma& )e made to i)rate either )& singing, strumming, or )lowingacross the mouth o! the )ottle. The resonant !re5uenc& is the !re5uenc& o! i)ration characteristic o! theo)=ect or o)=ects i)rated. Thus, when &ou sing at the resonant !re5uenc& o! &our )athroom or shower, the air i)rates in phase with the i)rations o! &our ocal cords. As a result, the i)ration o! the air caught in the showersupports the i)rations o! &our ocal cords, and the result is a much louder, !uller, and richer sound. (esonance is also a er& important phenomenon in electrical circuits. A coil o! wire and acapacitor @an electronic deice connected in parallel with each other will resonate at a certain electrical!re5uenc&. When &ou turn the kno) on an old/st&le radio receier, &ou are ar&ing the capacitance o! a



capacitor connected in parallel with a coil and thus ar&ing the resonant !re5uenc& o! the s&stem. Whenits resonant !re5uenc& matches that o! a radio stations transmitted signal, the resonance ampli!ies thesignal thousands o! times and &ou )egin to hear the program )eing )roadcast !rom miles awa&. '! the note 7E8 is pla&ed on a piano, the 7E8 strings on a guitar will i)rate, een when thatguitar is placed seeral !eet !rom the piano. This is resonance, too.

.esonance and ongruence in Human %ystems

@nce# after listening to several of his lectures# a newspaper reporter as$ed the wife of %ohandas andhi# “How is it that andhi is able to spea$ so interestingly without ever repeating orcontradicting himself even though he uses no lecture notes!” %rs. andhi replied# “Well# you and I# we thin$ one thing# say another# and do a third?but forandhi,i they(re all the same.”

At an& gien moment, there are man& patterns in action within &ou. +ne pattern is represented )& what &ou are thinking, another )& what &ou are sa&ing, and a third )& &our )ehaior. 'n addition,there are patterns that represent &our !eelings, &our )elie!s, and the sensations going on within &our )od&. All these patterns are integrated to !orm the oerall image that is &ou. %ome, all, or none o! this

image ma& )e aaila)le to &our conscious awareness, &et it is the one that all the deeper leels o! &ourmind use as a guide !or their responses. As "rs. -andhi suggested, sometimes the arious patterns ma& )e er& similar to each other4 atother times, the& are er& di!!erent. When an& two or more patterns are er& similar, we call thiscongruence. When the& are dissimilar, we call them incongruent or dissonant . The alcoholic who has sworn to gie up drinking !oreer suddenl& discoers himsel! at a dinner ta)le where the host is opening up a )ottle o! especiall& !ine wine. Within himsel!, the alcoholicexperiences a con!lict )etween two di!!erent patterns. +ne pattern is the image he holds o! himsel! as arelia)le person with will power, one who can !ollow through on a promise he has made. The other isthe pattern !ormed )& his tingling taste )uds and the ph&sical longing !or the taste and soothingrelaxation he associates with the wine.

%imilarl&, the student who discoers she can easil& see another persons test answersexperiences an inner con!lict )etween the pattern !ormed )& her desire to score a high grade in thecourse and the pattern represented )& her sel!/image as an honest student. The pre/cardiac 7couch potato8 experiences con!lict )etween the pattern representing his knowledge that exercise willdramaticall& prolong his li!e and the pattern represented )& his !amiliar procrastination and ph&sicalinactiit&. The woman who has more work to do to prepare !or a crucial presentation the next da& !eelstorn )& her promise and desire to attend her daughters dance recital that eening. All these are examples o! how a lack o! congruence in our thoughts, !eelings, and intentions can produce dissonance. +!ten we are aware o! this lack o! congruence among our parts, we are said to )eexperiencing cognitive dissonance @con!licts in our thought processes. Een i! a person is in denial,dissociated, or in some other wa& not consciousl& aware o! the dissimilarit& o! these patterns, the

dissonance still exists within. ollo5uiall&, this is re!erred to as an 7unconscious con!lict.8 Integrity of %ystem

B& the same token, when all our parts 7attune8 with one another, when there is congruencewithin the s&stem, a much more health&, relaxed, energetic, and creatie state is produced within &ourmind/)od&. The common inner theme is ampli!ied, and the resonance among the parts magni!ies &oursense o! personal power and e!!ectieness. %ometimes this is re!erred to as the integrity o! the s&stem.

"he .elationship of Pain and Image



+ man late for a business engagement is struc$ by a car while rushing across the street. "heresulting bro$en leg produces a great deal of pain and inner stress. Bet# the soldier who sustains theexact same in,ury from a piece of shrapnel loo$s uite calm as he arrives at the field hospital. Hedoesn(t appear stressed at all. 'or the second man# the wound represents an honorable way to leave the battlefield. 'or him#the war is over and he is coming out of it alive. His wound is uite congruent with his desires and

image of the future. "he portion of the image showing him with crutches or a prosthesis is dwarfed inemotional impact by the part where he is reunited with his wife and child. "he congruence of these patterns serves to amplify the notion “I(m going home and I(m going to be alive. I(m going forwardwith my dreams of the future#” and with the comfort# relaxation# and relief that go along with thisthought. "he businessman# on the other hand# sees only wasted time# a loss of profit# a potential lifelonghandicap# and the inability to compete in the finals of the tennis tournament coming up in the nextcouple wee$s at his club. "his dissonance gives rise to stress# which greatly increases his sensation of pain and discomfort.

The song entitled 7 He +in(t Heavy# He(s %y =rother 8 alludes to the increased strength and

endurance that come !rom inner congruence. The man who instead o! carr&ing his sick )rother mustexert the same amount o! energ& to moe a cord o! wood across his &ard )ecause it was deliered to thewrong location has a er& di!!erent experience. The wood is, indeed, hea&.

“"hings in themselves are always neutral4 it is our perception which ma$es them appear positive or negative.”

# Epictetus

ongruence and integrit& )oth contri)ute to resonance in the human s&stem. When we hae thisinner resonance, positie 5ualities, experiences, and our per!ormance are ampli!ied =ust as i)rationsare rein!orced in purel& ph&sical s&stems or radio e5uipment. When we are congruent, we are capa)leo! a wholehearted response, sometimes re!erred to as 7giing CJ percent.8 "he ost of issonance

%ometimes human dissonance can )ecome incapacitating. The moie 0ophie(s /hoice portra&ed a &oung mother !orced )& her dia)olical $a;i captors to decide which o! her two childrenwould lie and which would )e gassed and incinerated at a concentration camp. The dou)le )ind wascomplete, the dissonance extreme. $o matter which child she spared, she would simultaneousl& )econdemning the other one to death. Her ps&che was not a)le to heal !rom this con!lict, and it led to her

own ps&chic disintegration and ultimate demise. To lose a child is one o! the greatest emotional traumas that can )e!all a person, &et most peoplesurie, especiall& when there is another child who needs, loing, caring, and attention. 't was not theloss of the child that destro&ed %ophie, )ut the intolera)le dissonance resulting !rom the terri)ledecision she was !orced to make. Had the& simpl& killed one child, she might hae )een a)le torecoer. What was un)eara)le was the mental image that she had )een somehow responsi)le !orchoosing to hae one o! her children put to death. %uch an idea is totall& incongruent with a mothersdeep !eelings o! loe. 6nconscious issonance



inside o! a larger )ox. %imilarl&, each person ma& )e thought o! as a unit o! a still larger s&stem called the 7!amil&,8and the !amil& as part o! a s&stem called a 7communit&,8 and that s&stem, in turn, part o! a still highers&stem we call our 7culture,8 and that inside a still larger s&stem called the 7human race,8 and thatinside a still larger s&stem called the 7)iosphere,8 and that inside a still larger s&stem called the7cosmos.8 When &ou look !rom the perspectie o! one leel o! the s&stem up to a higher leel, that

higher leel is called the 7superordinate s&stem.8 Those located )elow it are called subordinate. &lignment

Another wa& resonance can )e seen in human s&stems is in the wa& one leels !unctioning isenhanced when it is working congruentl& with a superordinate portion o! the larger s&stem o! which )oth are a part. This is called 7alignment.8 hildren a)out to take examinations are much more likel& todo well i! the& hae parents who )eliee in them and are supportie. Another child with the sameknowledge will tend to do more poorl& i! the parents are nonsupportie or uninterested. +ne o! the reasons wh& athletic teams usuall& pla& a )etter game on their home court is thatthe& !eel the& are struggling to win not simpl& !or themseles )ut !or all the supportie 7home !ans8 inthe stadium. This is called 7home/!ield adantage.8 When the song 70tout2Hearted %en” suggests that7at the time o! &our single test8 the strength o! the entire team will )e aaila)le !or &ou to call on, this,too, is alignment. Winning the game !or the dear old alma mater and giing &our patriotic all !or the loe o!countr& are other !amiliar examples o! situations in which )elonging empowers. <ust as the whole isgreater than the sum o! its parts, so a part )ecomes greater i! it )elongs to an integral whole in whichthere is congruence. The same situation occurs in &our )od&4 when &our emotions and passions re!lect what &ouintellectuall& know to )e true, and when the& are in support o! what &ou )eliee to )e a wise decision,&our actions can )e swi!t, sure, and strong. When &our emotions sa& 7go8 )ut &our mind sa&s 7sta&,8these emotions are restricted !rom !ull expression o! their power. 'n a similar manner, when &ou dont )eliee that &ou desere to win a race, the muscles, at a lower leel, do not per!orm nearl& as well aswhen &ou do !eel desering. Because this iew o! resonance is a general s&stems concept, it is reasona)le to consider thee!!ect o! extending it down to the cellular leel. When &ou !eel helpless and hopeless, perhaps thisdisempowers the !unctioning o! the cells o! &our )od&, including the immune cells. Belieing that &oudesere to lie and )elieing that &our )od& has the power to heal itsel! ma& actuall& enhance the speedand potenc& o! the healing response. +nce again, the pathwa& to deep healing suggests that we work on congruence, integrit&, andclarit& o! purpose among the arious leels o! our s&stem. Perhaps we can assume that an& dissonancecan inhi)it the healing process, or een contri)ute to disease. 2ogical Mind, 2ogical ody

Lets )egin with a little stor&. "he 2ion .epellent

+ man wal$s into a psychiatrist(s office waving his hands in the air# as if he were brushingaway swarms of mosuitoes. “Why are you doing that with your hands!” inuires the doctor. “"o $eep the +frican lions from attac$ing#” the man replies. “=ut# my good man#” responds the psychiatrist# “the nearest +frican lions are 6G#GGG milesaway.” “Beah#” replies the man with a confident smile# “it really wor$s# doesn(t it!”



Due to the extraordinar& design o! the human )rain, we are capa)le o! responding to either7Bowling Ball (ealit&8 or to an entirel& mental image that does not correspond to o)=ectie realit&.This is an enormous aptitude, !or it allows us to look at a rier and isuali;e a )ridge going across it.This isuali;ation o! the )ridge is our !irst step toward )uilding one. But it also allows us to lie toothers and een to ourseles.

This state o! a!!airs creates 5uite a pro)lem !or the mind. To know that we are l&ing toourseles would eoke too much cognitie dissonance !or us to tolerate. To aoid this, we must tellourseles another lie4 we 7!orget8 that we are l&ing to ourseles. 'n e!!ect we dissociate ourseles !romthe !act o! our lie. The man who promises he will )e home !rom work in time !or dinner, and the teenager whoswears she will leae the part& at eleen oclock neer make it on time. *et, at the moment the& maketheir promises the& allow themseles to )eliee that 7this time 'm reall& going to do it.8 When that persons )ehaior )ecomes incongruent with the words and their sel!/image, their mind inentsexcuses, =ust as in the case o! h&pnoticall& induced !a)rication, which wee preiousl& discussed. Their energ& now !ocuses upon =usti!&ing their )ehaior. The real pro)lem, the lack o!congruence, the lack o! predicta)ilit& and dependa)ilit&, is not addressed. The image o! what was going

to happen and what did happen were not the same. The short/term result o! this kind o! )ehaior is thatwhether or not the excuse @rationali;ation is accepted )& other people, those people making theexcuses !eel )etter. 't is more com!orta)le not to consciousl& experience the dissonance andincongruence o! their s&stems. 1n!ortunatel&, howeer, this kind o! denial sets into motion a su)tle, )utextraordinaril& power!ul and potentiall& disastrous chain o! eents that can result in disease ord&s!unction, which ma& )e expressed at an& leel o! the s&stem as d&s!unction or disease. "he Psychological %tress #valuator

A num)er o! &ears ago, ' met a ps&chologist who worked with law en!orcement and securit&risk anal&sis companies. +ne o! his most use!ul tools was a kind o! lie detector called the7Ps&chological %tress Ealuator.8 The machine and its !unctioning were reall& rather simple. As is

usual in working with machines designed to detect deceit, a series o! &es or no 5uestions are put to thesu)=ect. Lie detectors generall& owe their a)ilit& to !erret out !alsehoods to the !act that the )rain is )&nature a logical and honest s&stem. When a person claims as true something he $nows to )e !alse, the s&stem must deal with asingle statement that is )eing held to )e true )& one part o! the )rain while )eing held to )e !alse )&another. This incongruence produces incoherenc& and dissonance that can )e detected in man& o! the ph&siological s&stems. Blood pressure increases, heart rate increases, respiration increases and )ecomesirregular, electrical conductance o! the skin changes, and electroencephalographic @electrical impulseso! the )rain patterns are altered. Pol&graph/st&le lie detectors measure some or all o! these, depending on the e5uipment used,and when the readings go )e&ond the normal range, the& indicate a dissonant, that is, incoherent

response to the 5uestion asked. 1suall& this is the result o! a dishonest response to the 5uestion. This particular deice, howeer, is so sensitie that it is common !or unconscious con!licts to show up asdissonant, een though the person is, at the conscious leel, )eing completel& honest.



The Ps&chological %tress Ealuator works )& recording peoples oices as the& answer &es orno, then displa&ing it as a wae!orm on a screen. When a person speaks truth!ull&, the cure producedis a smooth, per!ectl& !ormed wae on the monitors screen. When the person is l&ing, there is asuperimposed, high/!re5uenc& !lutter, a parasitic oscillation all along the length o! the wae. +n thegraph paper printout that usuall& reports the results o! the lie detector, this looks like a wae drawn )&someone with the shakes. The lack o! congruence and the resulting incoherence in a persons s&stem istranslated into erratic, disordered i)rations o! their ocal cords that could )e detected in their oice.

"& colleague demonstrated the deice to me and pointed out some o! the pro)lems with its use.'t turns out that i! a person is !eeling ill at ease in a relationship with someone, 5uestions a)out that person will tend to show dissonant patterns. 0or example, the pattern will show up i! the su)=ect isasked a)out a !ellow emplo&ee or an ex/spouse with whom the& hae signi!icant inner con!licts. Likethe standard lie detector, then, this deice was simpl& reporting that there was an internal con!lict, anincongruence concerning the issue )eing discussed.

We experimented with the deice, asking people to read o!! lists o! words such as: onion# pencil# &iffel "ower# and rose. We !elt that these words had no particular emotional content !or most people. "ixed in with these words would )e ones that we expected might hae some emotionaloertones: brother# mother# home# money# and sex. The results were 5uite impressie. Heres aninteresting stor& that helps illustrate our !indings.

CASE %ISTO(+: A(NOL"

'n m& initial interiew with Arnold, he indicated that he was on er& good terms with eer&onein his !amil&, and there were no unresoled issues. *et, as he read the list o! words, the P%E showedincoherence when he read the word brother . When ' asked him to tell me more a)out his )rother, hedescri)ed his )rother as a store owner. The word store showed the same inter!erence pattern. When asked what was important to him a)out his )rothers store, he explained how the storehad )een through some rock& times )ut now was earning mone& again. The P%E showed incoherenceon the word money. When asked a)out the stores mone&, he unexpectedl& !lushed, and tears !illed hise&es. He descri)ed how his )rother had asked to )orrow some mone& !rom him to help him through a particularl& di!!icult period. Arnold had re!used, een though he could hae helped. He ignored his )rothers hurt !eelings and aoided calling him !or seeral months, waiting !or the hurt to )low oer. As he descri)ed the incident, Arnold reali;ed that although his )rother had not mentioned it !orseeral &ears, he himsel! still !elt ashamed o! his sel!ish )ehaior. He reali;ed that in order to !eelwhole with himsel!, as well as in his relationship with his )rother, he needed to hae an intimateconersation with his )rother and apologi;e !or his sel!ishness.



0ollowing this, Arnolds mental and ph&sical wellness improed signi!icantl&, and therelationship with his )rother, which had alwa&s )een good, )ecame much richer and more rewarding!or )oth o! them.

"& experiments with this deice proided a model that allowed me to )etter understand someo! the things ' had witnessed in m& patients. When people came to me complaining o! recurrent sore

throats or other upper respirator& in!ections, we would o!ten !ind the trigger !or the in!ection to )eanxiet&, con!lict, and incoherence related to the use o! their oice. The underl&ing issue might )e !earo! poor per!ormance on an upcoming oral examination, a di!!icult su)=ect the& were aoiding )ringingup with their spouse, or a situation in which the& had er)all& misled a person the& loed or respected. <ust as incoherence can disrupt i)ration o! the ocal cords, it might similarl& disrupt the!unctioning o! the tin& inoluntar& neres in the mem)ranes o! the throat or air passagewa&s. Theim)alance in nerous !unction could )lock the normal mechanisms !or protecting against in!ection. 'tmight, !or instance, inhi)it the production o! inter!eron, intercellular chemicals that inactiate iruses. Nothing New 6nder the %un

' )egan to reali;e that working alone in m& o!!ice, ' had independentl& discoered a truth that

had )een discoered )& wise men and women and )& the prophets o! most great religions throughoutall o! time. When one lies according to a code o! honest&, a set o! golden rules, a much more health&and rewarding li!e is created. "ost o! the time, such a code o! )ehaior is presented as a list o! shouldsand should nots, such as "he "en /ommandments or "he 0ayings of /onfucius. 't graduall& )ecame clear to me wh&, in nearl& all cultures, such principles are commonl&taught to children as the 7Word o! -od.8 '! the& are taken as truths that are e5ual to the truth o!knowing that !ire will )urn &ou, or i! &ou stand too close to the slipper& edge &ou ma& !all down andhurt &oursel!, then the parent could !eel more secure that their child would )e recording this alua)lein!ormation at the deepest leels. 'n <e!!re& "osess !ascinating )ook, @neness# the pre!ace and introduction are written )&"other Teresa and the Dalai Lama. @neness demonstrates conincingl& that the sacred texts o! all

seen o! the worlds primar& religions present the same !undamental truths. 2oving "hy Neighbor

“8ove thy neighbor as thyself. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

#The =ible, the -olden (ule

“"his is the sum of duty4 Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you.”

# Hindu, %ahabbarata

“0urely it is the maxim of loving2$indness Do not unto others that you would not have them dounto you.”

# on!ucianism, +nalects

“No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.”

# 'slam, 0unnah



“What is hateful to you# do not to your fellowmen. "hat is the entire 8aw4 all the rest iscommentary.”

#<udaism, "almud

An&one who has lied their lies according to this principle has had man& awakenings. Buta)oe all, we reali;e that when we )egin to accept ourseles =ust as we are, we also )egin to allowothers greater !reedom to )e who we reall& are. When we are drien )& unconscious moties that arenot congruent with our conscious or deepl& held principles, we continuall& see these same unaccepta)le5ualities in other people until one da&, hope!ull&, we can see them in ourseles and resole them. +ncewe can let other people )e who the& are, and reali;e how our sel!/image shapes our relationship withthem, then we can stop putting so much energ& into critici;ing or complaining a)out the other peopleand lie com!orta)l& with the !act that the& are exactl& as the& are. Thats when true understanding andloing communication are )orn All at once, as ' came to the a)oe reali;ation, the ancient religious and spiritual truths, such as

the -olden (ule, took on new signi!icance !or me. ' )elieed them not )ecause ' was told to )elieethem, )ut )ecause the& had emerged through m& experiments and experience in the pursuit o! truththrough science and logic, a s&stem that ' deepl& )eliee in. The reason to )e honest was to sta& health&and to )e maximall& creatie, to en=o& li!e.

“"here is only one really important uestion (Is the universe benign!(”

#Al)ert Einstein

' think part o! what Dr. Einstein was stating was: 7Do kindness and honest& exist as part o! the!undamental organi;ational principles o! the unierse, or are the& simpl& arti!icial human constructswith no independent alidit&M8 ' certainl& cannot claim to hae !ound a complete answer to his5uestion, )ut there does seem to )e eidence that within the mind/)od& complex, most human s&stemsseen to !unction )etter when certain principles o! integrit&, honest&, compassion, and !airness areemplo&ed s&stem/wide. These )elie!s hae continued to )e a!!irmed )& m& pro!essional experience with the people whoseek m& help in deep healing. ' hae !ound a clear propensit& to spontaneousl& moe toward honest&and integrit&. There is a healer deep within each person that trul& understands what is needed !or !ulland complete healing. When the wisdom o! this part is made aaila)le, healing o!mindO)od&OemotionOspirit are supported and encouraged.

E'&E(IENTIAL !O(O)T . /

Here are some )asic 5uestions to help &ou )ring these principles down to earth in &our own li!e. /; When has a misinterpretation o! &our inner images or enironmental clues led &ou to make amistake that caused &ou either em)arrassment or regretM -o )ack and reread the stor& a)out animalcrackers, or the pig in the road, i! &ou need an example. 0; 'n what areas o! &our li!e, and in &our relationships, do &ou !eel a sense o! resonance andOorcongruenceM A good clue is to note times when &ou hae !elt completel& open, !ree, and totall& at onewith whateer &ou were inoled with at the time. Those !eelings generall& are integral to the state o!resonance or congruence.



3; 'n what situations do &ou !eel dissonance that a!!ects &ou emotionall& or impairs &ourrelationships or )ehaiorsM "an& people !eel dissonance at times with their =o)s when the& are doingsomething that reall& isnt an expression o! who the& are or when the& are perhaps helping to producean item a)out which the& !eel a moral or ethical con!lict. 4; What larger s&stem @superordinate s&stem do &ou !eel aligned withM 0or example, do &ou )elong to a large !amil& or a communit& with a common )ondM What are &our current )elie!s a)out a

higher )eing, a uniersal spiritM 5; 's there an area o! &our li!e in which &our )ehaior consistentl& !ails to re!lect &our plans andexpectationsM Are &ou usuall& later than &ou think &ou will )e4 do things alwa&s take longer than &ouexpect4 do &ou alwa&s do )etter @or worse than &ou had expectedM Do &ou see an area where it would )e wise !or &ou to make an ad=ustment#)& either altering &our )ehaior or altering &our expectations #so that &ou would )e congruentM "ake a plan to do this. 7; an &ou see places in &our li!e where &our lack o! honest& is inhi)iting &our per!ormance,!eelings, relationships, or personal growthM 'n what areas would &ou like to changeM HowM &ffirmations

The !ollowing a!!irmations are adapted !rom m& tape 1ower Eision. @%ee the (esources sectionin the )ack o! the )ook !or details, should &ou want to get the entire audio tape program !or &our ownuse. “I consciously choose to follow my most deeply held beliefs and convictions.” “I have ta$en conscious control of my life and am directing it toward the achievement of myhighest aspirations.” “%y honesty with myself has awa$ened a natural enthusiasm and energy.” “%y love for myself enlightens my spirit and frees my energy to do great things.” “I am honest with myself and constantly wor$ toward greater integrity.” “+ll my actions wor$ in harmony with my highest aspirations for myself and others.” “%y self2respect is worth more to me than anything I could gain by losing it.” “I am a powerful# loving# and creative being.” (emem)er as &ou work with this material that the 5uestions and a!!irmations are intended notas sel!/recriminations )ut as wa&s o! discoering where dissonance exists in &our li!e !or the sole purpose o! esta)lishing greater resonance. The end product is going to )e not onl& an improed senseo! &our own well/)eing, )ut a wa& o! li!e that is easier, more en=o&a)le, and certainl& healthier at a ph&sical leel.

HAPTE( 0+1(TEE$SELFESTEE$

“Whatever you are by nature# $eep to it4 never desert your own line of talent. =e what natureintended you for and you will succeed4 be anything else# and you will be 6G#GGG times worse than

nothing.”

#%idne& %mith

Folk "ale of India



"he story is told that many years ago# the beloved son of a great $ing was captured by highwaymen and carried away. =eing ,ust three years old when he was abducted# the young prince grew upamong the bandits# believing he was one of them. He forgot about his life at the palace# the wondrousluxuries he(d en,oyed# and in time even his memories of his mother and father faded. Instead of being schooled in the royal arts and sciences# the prince was taught the art of being a bandit?the use of thebow and arrow# the science of snea$ing about in the forest# and techniues for leaping upon unwary

travelers# stealing their belongings# and vanishing without a trace. =y the time he reached young adulthood# he was the chief of his own band of thieves. &ven so#he was a very reclusive sort of man. He coo$ed his food apart from his men# ate alone# and in manyways held himself strangely aloof. Deep in his heart there was something that told him that the forestwas not his real home. He longed for his real home but $new not where to find it. @ne day# a group of men and women from the palace traveled through his territory on business for the $ing and ueen. "he young robber and his men too$ the party by surprise and surrounded them#demanding that they hand over their riches. =ut a wise man who was with the travelers recogni-ed something familiar in the young robber(s face. He saw the $ing(s high forehead# his delicately sculpted nose and high chee$s# as well as the soft blue eyes of the ueen. +lso# the robber2prince(s stature wasthat of royalty# not the posture of lowly thief. 8oo$ing the prince in the eye# the wise man said# “I $now who you are. Bou are not a thief# youare the long2lost son of our $ing5” Hearing this# the prince was outraged. He growled# “Bou are terribly mista$en5 I am a thiefand proud of it. I am the most feared and respected of all highway men.” "he wise man was unsha$en. He placed an arm around the prince(s shoulder and told him stories about his early years. He told the young man how the $ing carried him around the palace grounds on his shoulders. "he wise man sang the songs the ueen had sung to put the young prince to put him to sleep at night. "he wise man told of games the young prince had en,oyed when he lived atthe palace. radually# the prince(s memories of his past life began to return. 8i$e a man awa$ening from along sleep# he stood up# his eyes calm and steady# his face suddenly $ind and gentle. "hrough hismemories of his previous life as a prince# the young bandit was entirely transformed. “I than$ you#” the young man said to the wise man# embracing him at last as his friend. “I amtruly this prince of whom you spea$# not a bandit at all. I simply forgot who I was.” Having been fully restored to his true identity# the prince at last found his way home. Hereturned to the palace where days of festivities followed# celebrating the prince(s reunion with his parents# the $ing and ueen.

&wakening the Healer $ithin

1ltimatel&, each o! us must take responsi)ilit& !or !inding the wisest perspectie !rom which tolie our lies. This means )eing awake and aware, respecting ourseles, and aluing our =udgments. 't

means haing con!idence and a willingness to express what we honestl& )eliee. ' )eliee that this willsere to )ring a)out the highest leels o! success in our social endeaors, our health, and the!unctioning o! our entire mind/)od& s&stem.

CASE %ISTO(+: $A(

During m& college &ears, ' worked as a summer/session teacher !or six &ear olds. +ne o! the )o&s in m& class, "ark, had cere)ral pals&. He was the laughingstock o! the class with his spasticmoements and o!ten unintelligi)le speech. To them he seemed in!erior and retarded. He was, o!course, er& poorl& coordinated in sports and alwa&s the last one chosen to )e on an& team. He was



una)le to )utton and un)utton his clothes and was teased dail& when he asked !or m& assistance. A!ter a)out two weeks on the =o), ' noticed that "ark was a great checkers pla&er. A plan )egan to hatch in m& mind4 ' would hold a lassroom +l&mpics. 0irst ' deised a set o! contests suchas throwing the )all, 'ndian wrestling, a draw/a/man contest, tiddl&/winks, and "onopol&. As eachround ro)in contest was completed, the winners name was written on a sheet o! colored paper and placed around the edge o! the )ulletin )oard. ' purposel& le!t the center o! the )oard !ree, !or ' had

special plans !or that space. +n the last da& o! the lass +l&mpics, ' stood in !ront o! the class and asked, 7What is the mostspecial thing a)out the human )eingM What is it that makes us more success!ul than an& other animalM8The& all enthusiasticall& agreed it was the a)ilit& to think, understand, and plan. ' then asked, 7Which, o! all the games that we pla&ed most, depends on this kind o!intelligenceM8 The& all agreed it was checkers. At this point, ' dramaticall& produced a sheet o! coloredconstruction paper that was a )it larger than all the other sheets. 'n the center, in iid red, was "arksname. With an exaggerated !lourish, ' posted it in the large central area, proclaiming him the winner o!the checkers competition. The class applauded. The change in "ark was phenomenal. Within two da&s, he had )egun to )utton his shirt andwas a)le to get undressed and dressed !or g&m class )& himsel!. "ark now )ecame er& popular. %uddenl& it was !ashiona)le to hae "ark as a !riend. He wasactuall& the !irst one chosen on the athletic teams, and within a week his a)ilit& to !unction ph&sicall&in these games had improed signi!icantl&.

' hae alwa&s )een deepl& grate!ul !or this experience. %omehow Proidence had proided mewith what amounted to a sel!/controlled liing la)orator& experiment. "arks image o! himsel!, hisiew o! the world, and his place in it was almost magicall& trans!ormed, and in the process the healerwithin him was awakened. 't wasnt =ust his attitude that changed4 his ph&sical capacities changed, too.As he changed, so did the wa& people related to him. And as these relationships changed, his sel!/esteem expanded een more. Although &ou and ' ma& not hae cere)ral pals&, we do hae a healer within, and it can )e

awakened =ust as "arks was, to participate in our deep healing. This ital essence has )een with ussince )irth#in !act, since the dawn o! li!e itsel!. 'ts !unction is to maintain homeostasis @internal )alance. As humans, we can, through our a)ilit& to change our images and )elie!s, enhance or inhi)itthe power o! this inner healer. The expression o! this essence that heals and creates can )e isuali;ed as a highl& coherenti)ration. This coherenc& ma& )e gar)led as a result o! cultural programming, including parentalin!luences, )roader !amil& d&s!unctions, and un!ortunate accidents. 't is alwa&s present, howeer, and is the actie agent in deep healing. '! we want to, we can !indit, honor it, and proide it with high/5ualit& in!ormation, thus guiding it with our wisdom. 't is thisdiscoer& o! !inding the ital essence, o! !ocusing on the part o! us that is health&, that is the!undamental theme o! what wee )een learning in this )ook.

"he %elf*#steem ilemma

“"he ancients $new something which we seem to have forgotten. +ll means prove but a blunt instrument# if they have not behind them a living spirit.”

#Al)ert Einstein



'n the earl& Cs, a group o! us !rom the teaching and helping pro!essions !ormed theali!ornia Task 0orce on %el!/Esteem and Personal and %ocial (esponsi)ilit&. +ur goal was to examinethe possi)le role o! sel!/concept in a ariet& o! social ills. We were unaware o! the hornets nest wewould stir up. The coer o! Newswee$ @0e)ruar& C !eatured a disheeled dweeb admiring himsel! in a

mirror, and the title o! the coer stor& was 7The urse o! %el!/Esteem.8 -ar& Trudeau deoted seeralweeks o! his Doonesbury comic strip to lampooning the ali!ornia %el!/Esteem Task 0orce. Bi)le Belt!undamentalists opposed it en masse, and no less a deep/thinking writer than %cott Peck he!ted his penagainst it. *et educators repeatedl& identi!& sel!/esteem as a crucial predictor o! a students scholastic per!ormance. 'n her )ook <evolution from Within, -loria %teinem places a higher priorit& on winningher own sel!/esteem than she places on her massie list o! accomplishments in the social sphere.riminals who hae turned their lies around, drug addicts who hae kicked their ha)it, and chronicdisease su!!erers who hae healed themseles through the use o! their mind and spirit all tell us that anincreased sense o! sel!/worth and a !uller reali;ation o! their inner potential was crucial to their !ullrecoer&. The )attle oer sel!/esteem still rages, with ardent supporters in )oth camps. Whats going onhereM 's sel!/esteem important or notM And i! it is important, is it good or )adM Was it not Aristotle who said, 7'! &ou would discourse with me, !irst de!ine &our terms8M 't is inthis de!ining that ' think most o! the con!usion a)out sel!/esteem has occurred. %elf*#steem and Healing

B& the earl& CKs, it had )ecome clear to me that regardless o! the speci!ic disease complexthat m& patients and clients consulted me a)out#whether primaril& ph&sical, emotional, )ehaioral,cognitie, or spiritual#there seemed to )e a common !actor that was central to determining theoutcome. This ke& !actor was the awakening o! an inner healing power that la& dormant within. ' had long ago shi!ted m& !aith !rom technolog& to people. 1suall& m& chie! role was to help people get out o! their own wa&. ' )egan to re!er to that which we were awakening as 7sel!/esteem.8 As we hae discussed, =ust as the cells o! our )od& can )e considered as subordinate s&stemswithin our )odies, the societ& we lie in is a kind o! superordinate s&stem. "& appointment to the %el!/Esteem Task 0orce, along with m& illustrious colleagues, <ack an!ield and ?irginia %atir, proided anextraordinar& opportunit& to explore the inter!ace )etween the indiidual spirit and that o! the largercultural s&stem. The theor& we set out to test was this: '! people hae health& sel!/esteem, the& tend toaoid drug addiction, wel!are dependenc&, spousal and child a)use, teenage pregnanc&, and criminalactiit&. +ne o! the more challenging tasks we encountered was the de!inition o! the term self2esteemitsel!. We reiewed numerous sources, including scienti!ic studies, pu)lic opinion, and the experienceo! indiiduals reported at pu)lic hearings. There seemed to )e as man& de!initions as there wereresearchers in the !ield. +ne contri)ution we hoped to make was to !ind a standard that could sere !or!uture studies. We !ound that all these de!initions clustered around the !ollowing three )asic themes.

;I#&2< M'#2% 'F %#2F*#%"##M

Model G=4#0ternal Measure

The !irst model we looked at de!ined self2esteem in a comparatie wa&. 0irst, an 7ideal8 ischosen: a person @real or imagined who is all and eer&thing one should )e. To the degree that one isliing up to this model, he deseres to 7!eel good a)out himsel!8 and 7esteem8 himsel!. This model is )ased on comparing onesel! to others.



This !ormulation did not descri)e the 5ualit& ' had )een seeking in m& work and !ailed to !it thegoals o! the %el! Esteem Task 0orce as well. +ne pro)lem with it is that a person whose sense o! well/ )eing is dependent upon external criteria can )e led into a er& unhealth& situation. Theoreticall&, i! we!ollowed this model, we should experience sel!/esteem )& irtue o! haing lied up to whateer rolemodel wed chosen# regardless o! whether that model was a prostitute, a drug dealer, or a terrorist.ertainl&, this was not m& understanding o! sel!/esteem, since in m& practice oer the &ears ' had seen

hundreds o! people whod achieed all the 5ualities o! a !aorite role model or hero &et who had a sel!/image that was er& unhealth& and which gae them no =o& or satis!action.

“I always said I wanted to be somebody when I grew up... %aybe I should have been more specific.”

# Bette "idler

The statement 7' am good8 is 5uite di!!erent !rom the statement, 7' am )etter than...8 "&respect and con!idence in m&sel! must )e completel& independent o! your skills, talents, looks,

possessions, powers, or sel!/esteem. Pride )ased upon how we measure up to others @7'm smarter than"ar&8 is shak& indeed4 it is )ased not on our perceptions o! our own inner resources, talents, or othercharacteristics, )ut upon how we measure up to other people. This !ormulation turns the winning o!sel!/esteem into an actiit& that looks an aw!ul lot like 7keeping up with the <oneses.8 "oreoer, !rom time to time we all !eel down or oppressed )& the world when we hae !allen!ar short o! the model we are striing !or. '! our sel!/worth is dependent upon some outside standard o!how well we are doing, that !ailure can rapidl& produce a !eeling o! helplessness that can predispose usto disease and d&s!unction. Health& sel!/esteem should ena)le us to surie such challenges and eenthrie. Health& sel!/esteem should )e )oth protectie and healing. Model G?4"he %elf*#fficacy Model

The second !ormulation re!ers to an inner !eeling o! potenc& and empowerment. '! ' !eelcapa)le, i! ' experience a high leel o! self2efficacy# then ' might )e said to 7esteem8 m&sel!. We !ound a pro)lem with this one, too. A!ter all, a drunken truck drier or a serial killer might!eel a tremendous amount o! sel!/e!!icac&. '! it is to )e a pathwa& to health and personal !ul!illment,sel!/esteem needs to )e )ased on something deeper than the passions and emotions that !low through useer& da&. Model G@4%elf*#steem and %elf*$orth

The third de!inition o! self2esteem is the one we !inall& chose as a good model to !ollow: Having a strong sense of self2worth# valuing oneself# and having the confidence to translate this intoresponsible action.

%el!/esteem is not simpl& the 5ualit& o! awareness o! &oursel! in relationship to theenironment, )ut also re!ers to the a)ilit&, con!idence, and integrit& to express &our own truth. Ha)itual )ehaiors, emotional reactions, een ph&sical health itsel! are all !orms o! &our sel!/expression. ultural .esistance to %elf*#steem

' concluded that the resistance to the stud& o! sel!/esteem comes !rom two main 5uarters. The!irst group was resisting a kind o! 7sel!/esteem8 )ased on one o! the re=ected de!initions. And ' wouldagree with them that the notion o! generousl& and uncriticall& rewarding children and adults withoutregard to the worth o! their per!ormance or their contri)ution to others deseres to )e re=ected.



The other main source o! resistance comes !rom those who consciousl& or unconsciousl& !earthat the& will lose their own power i! others learn to respect their true worth. Hus)ands who hold theira)used wies irtual capties, white separatists who !ear competition !rom disempowered )lacks, sel!/aggrandi;ing corporate t&pes, and sweatshop owners#all o! these people stand to lose something i! people )egin to hold themseles in high esteem. 't is di!!icult to understand wh& an&one would !earwhat might happen i! others en=o&ed greater sel!/esteem, &et it seems to )e a !ear !or a great man&

people in our culture. learl&, increased sel!/esteem !or eer&one would mean )etter personal relations!or eer&one, )uilding a sense o! communit& where eer&one would )ene!it.

“Bou can only ride a man(s bac$ when that man is hunched over. @nce a man stands up straight# nobody can ride him li$e a mule.”

# "artin Luther 2ing, <r.

The truth is that there are man& whose sel!/image depends upon deluding and manipulatingothers. We know !rom histor& that such people will alwa&s resist ideas that awaken their pre& !rom

unconsciousness. &wakening %elf*#steem in hildren

%ome well/meaning people are worried that 7sugar/coating8 responses to a child will lead to a7swelled head8 and a 7spoiled8 child. Actuall&, there are certain periods o! time in a childs li!e inwhich it is 5uite alua)le and appropriate to gie a child a wildl& exaggerated re!lection o! themseles."others seem to know how to do this instinctiel&. 0or example, we hae discussed how a parentsenthusiastic response to an in!ants incoherent )a))ling can coax !orth speech and language.+riginall&, the )a))ling has no discerni)le meaning, )ut )ecause the parent acts as i! there is ameaning, the child graduall& )egins to )eliee there is. Encouraged )& his or her e!!orts tocommunicate, the in!ant persists and prett& soon their language is deeloping into more and more

speci!ic and accurate speech. 'n a similar manner, when a child writes her !irst poem, there are two )asic responses we mighto!!er as parents or teachers. +ne is to treat this as a real work o! art, to cele)rate it, show it to people,and hang it in a special place on the )ulletin )oard. onsider what would happen i! we took the critical )ut honest approach o! pointing out that there are words that dont rh&me, that the grammar is notcorrect, that a !ew words are misspelled, and that no national pu)lisher in their right mind would eer pu)lish something like this. The child with the !irst parents will graduall& gain con!idence in her a)ilit& to write poetr& andwill experience her creatiit& as a positie actiit&. 0or the second, her !irst creatie e!!ort will haenegatie associations, since it gies the alwa&s critical parents =ust one more wa& to put her down. When children are gien unconditional support !or their earl& e!!orts to master their worlds, and

the& experience acceptance in their earliest &ears, the& deelop con!idence in their a)ilit& to create, andthe& )ecome more creatie. As parents proiding this kind o! positie !eed)ack and support, we hae produced a irtuous circle. +nce this !low has )een esta)lished, we can now )egin to examine the creations with a morediscerning e&e and help the child gain greater success through continuous improement. When this isachieed, the child welcomes this participation since it increases his sense o! =o& and success. Butneer in this process is the childs sel!/worth )rought into 5uestion. Theres no concern with )eing a7)ad )o&,8 no !eelings o! shame, no )eing compared with the little girl down the street who alwa&s gets7As.8



"he eaded Purse

Not long ago# my 662year2old daughter brought me a small# light2blue drawstring purse that she had decorated with four large clay beads. "he colors of the beads blended perfectly with the colorof the purse# and their arrangement was sensitive and elegant. I spontaneously praised her for what she had done. I loved the purse5

0he too$ it into the other room# and when I saw it again# she had sewn another 6M or 7G beadsonto the small# lemon2si-ed purse. I told her that# although the new purse was flashy and provided a lot of variety# I preferred the simpler# more elegant version. I told her that it was common for adults to prefer something simpler# and that her latest design might appeal more to a younger person. 0till later that day# I was photographing some of her handicrafts for an album we were ma$ing for her teacher. +s I was about to photograph the purse# she stopped me# saying that she didn(t want it photographed until she had cut off the newly applied beads. I as$ed her why# and she told me it wasbecause she li$ed it the other way.

' am certain that what ' said a!!ected her decision, )ut ' am also certain that she didnt !eelo)liged to change the purse )ecause o! m& pre!erence4 she has shown her a)ilit& to staunchl& resist m&

opinions on numerous similar occasions +n the other hand, ' think she was !ree enough !rom haing toeither please me or re)el against me that she could look o)=ectiel& at the two !orms and decide whatreall& looked )est to her. 'n a sense, haing )een so inoled with decorating the purse, she hadntreall& looked at it !rom that perspectie until that moment when we were preparing to photograph herhandiwork. "he 'rigins of 2ow %elf*#steem

“It ta$es courage for a man to listen to his own goodness and act on it. Do we dare to beourselves! "his is the uestion that counts.”

#Pa)lo Picasso

The most critical time !or the deelopment o! health& sel!/esteem is during the !irst !ew &ears o! li!e. During those earl& &ears, our parents are our world. We uncriticall& accept the !antasies and )elie!s that are acted out in our presence#especiall& their )elie!s a)out who they think we are andwhat they think our purpose is !or )eing here. 't is on this )asis that our !irst images o! sel!, world, andrelationship are !ormed. 'deall&, our care giers are alert to our )eaut& and strengths and re!lect them to us. 'n this wa&,the& proide a mirror in which we can see and )egin to )uild upon the truth o! who we are. +!ten,

howeer, we are denied such support. %ometimes parents must return to !ull/time work too 5uickl&a!ter their children are )orn. %ometimes parents separate and diorce. %ometimes there is seered&s!unction in the !amil& or am)ialence a)out a new child. All this hampers the deelopment o!health& sel!/esteem. $ext, as she matures, the child must cope with toda&s shattered world where the supportstructure o! the traditional !amil& has anished. 0amilies are split apart#grandparents )eing sent o!! tonursing homes, aunts and uncles moing to other cities, si)lings going o!! to schools or uniersitiesawa& !rom home. Toda&s child must cope with toda&s 7marketplace culture8 as well, struggling with a societ&



that alues mone& and goods a)oe people, in which people deelop a shopping/list approach to!inding a mate, in which leaders are chosen through sound )ites and commercials, in which the !low o!creatie energ& is determined through economic rather than human considerations, where people arealued !or what the& hae rather than what the& are, where eer&thing and eer&one has a price. %ocialand !amilial interaction has )een replaced )& the nightl& gathering around the teleision set. And the purpose o! T?M To delier an audience to a sponsor

'n man& wa&s, the aims o! the adertising industr& are exactl& opposite our goals !or deelopingsel!/respect and sel!/con!idence. Adertising gains its power @and earns its )ig )ucks through itsa)ilit& to conince us, through expensie, mesmeri;ing, slick ads, to )u& things that will neer satis!&our real needs. And what a)out our schoolsM Een i! a child can relax in schools that are )eginning to resem)learmed camps, he has to deal with oercrowding and an approach that is )est descri)ed as 7The?accination Theor& o! Education.8

“&nglish is not history and history is not science and science is not art and art is not music and art and music are minor sub,ects and &nglish history and science ma,or sub,ects and a sub,ect is

something you ta$e and when you have ta$en it you have had it and if you have had it you are immune

and need not ta$e it again.”

# Postman and Weingartner

How little there is in such an enironment to keep us in touch with our inner )eaut&, intrinsicalue, and human potential 's it a surprise to an&one that health& sel!/esteem has een a slim chance o! deeloping in this worldM

If a hild

If a child lives with /riticism#

He learns to /ondemn. If a child lives with Hostility# He learns to 'ight. If a child lives with <idicule# He learns to be 0hy. If a child lives with 0hame# He learns to feel uilty. If a child lives with "olerance# He learns to be 1atient. If a child lives with &ncouragement# He learns /onfidence.

If a child lives with 1raise# He learns to +ppreciate. If a child lives with 'airness# He learns ustice. If a child lives with 0ecurity# He learns to have 'aith. If a child lives with +pproval# He learns to 8i$e Himself. If a child lives with +cceptance and 'riendship#



He learns to find 8ove in the World. #Author unknown

.aising My hildren4Mistakes and 2earnings

During the earliest &ears o! a childs li!e, the inner models and images are easiest to in!luence.The child has no past experience to )alance against current input so eents tend to engrae themseleson a rather )lank page. Harm!ul images cut deep, and positie ones are easil& appreciated since there isnothing to unlearn. Because ' had m& children at two er& di!!erent times in m& li!e, it turns out that ' treated them5uite di!!erentl&. 'n !act, &ou might sa& the& had er& di!!erent !athers. The raising o! m& !irst sonreealed how ' had )een treated in m& &outh. ' had grown up seeing the world as a place o! struggle and competition, where sel!/disciplinewas necessar& i! &ou were to surie and thrie. But, ' reasoned, how could m& son eer learn todiscipline himsel! i! he had not learned discipline !rom someone elseM As his !ather, ' !elt it was m&responsi)ilit& to )e a !irm disciplinarian. When it came to 7What %hould Be Done,8 ' was somewhere

)etween a dog trainer and a drill sergeant. Because ' loed m& son deepl&, ' !elt ' had to pla& this role.And sometimes, ' swear, it did !eel like it was hurting me more than it was hurting him. B& the time m& second son and m& daughter were )orn, ' understood more a)out li!e and morea)out people. ' no longer saw m& children as undi!!erentiated lumps o! cla& that ' had to twist,compress, and mold into the proper shape. 'nstead, ' saw these in!ants as miracles#extraordinar&,uni5ue, once/onl& eents in the unierse#!resh, new spirits that had )een entrusted to me !or a shortwhile to nurture. (ather than a trainer, ' saw m&sel! as a steward4 rather than a sculptor, a gardener. *ou dont need to train an acorn to )e an oak tree. 't alread& has a clear pattern !or its !uturestored within, een though we cannot see what that is )& looking at the acorn. $o matter how hard hetries, the )est trainer alie can neer turn it into a rose )ush. The )est thing we can do !or this acorn is to discoer that it is an acorn, not a rose )ush, and

proide it with the sunlight an oak tree needs, the amount o! water an oak tree needs, and the amount o! !ertili;er an oak tree needs. %imilarl&, ' now see m& =o) with m& children as )eing one o! watching care!ull& and learningwho the& are, what their interests are, and what the& need in order to grow in their own uni5ue wa&s. '!eel that ' dont hae to train them to )e good, kind, and honest, )ut that these are alread& within themand onl& need m& support and nurturance to proide a health&, loing enironment where the& cangrow. When m& daughter was seen &ears old, ' wrote her the !ollowing poem:

"o 2auren

"his is a poem to my daughter# 8auren#

Whose emerging spirit so often danced with me# Who# born loo$ing li$e a miniature version of her mother# 0oon became a multifaceted# mirrored globe# <eflecting# by turns# her little world. "he gentleness of babies# bunnies and bubble baths# "he innocent enthusiasm of 0esame 0treet# @f your first =alinese frog# @f riding your dad# horse2li$e# through the house4 I had never before $nown being this important to someone#



and it(s scary to be alone in this strange part of the city. @h# how I wish I were already safe and warmat home. I(ll never ma$e that mista$e again. No# sir5 +t home# finally5 No one(s here but my father. His face loo$s cold and angry# and a shiver of fear shudders through my body. "here(s going to be no warm# happy2to2see2you hug li$e %ommywould give me# no hot chocolate and coo$ies# no tenderness at all. He(s not happy to see me. Hedoesn(t see my exhaustion# my embarrassment# or my fear. He only sees that I have done wrong and

doesn(t believe it was an accident. He drags me to the cellar# removing his thic$ leather belt with his other hand. I(m filled with panic. Not another of those whippings5 I beg and plead# but there is no reprieve. Now he is lifting me off the floor by my arm. %y shoulder hurts and my helpless legs churndesperately trying to escape. "here is no escape. "here is only the whistling of the belt through the airand the withering pain as it slashes into my exposed buttoc$s and thighs# raising welts and purplebruises that will ta$e many days to go away. “No# Daddy# please# no#” I plead. =ut my father can no more hear my anguish than can thewhip that slashes again and again into my helpless little body writhing in pain. He can(t hear my tears. He can(t see the sobbing and cho$ing that rac$ my little body. He can(t understand that I am ,ust achild who made an innocent mista$e. “Will you do that again!” )slash* “No# Daddy# I promise.” )slash* “Will you!” )slash* “No# Daddy. 1lease Daddy# no more.” =ut he doesn(t stop. +gain and again he in,ects his fear# his pain# his self2loathing into me. +nd now# as I hang here# I feel something draining out of me. Is it trust! Is it ,oy! Is itinnocence! Bes# it is those and more. It is life itself. In some way# as I dangle here from one arm# I am dying. "he sounds of the belt and my crying grow more faint and distant. "ime stops# and I am dead.

As ' awakened to the a)use o! m& spirit during m& childhood, ' graduall& esta)lished a new ander& di!!erent relationship with m& !irst)orn. He and ' grew together, and ' am happ& to see how er&success!ul he has )ecome )oth pro!essionall& and personall&. And ' am most grati!ied to see his

health& sel!/esteem deelop through the &ears. owling all .eality .evisited

<ust as we can su!!er great losses )& underestimating ourseles, we must also )e care!ul not tooerestimate our capacities in wa&s that would )e !oolish. There is still that special ariet& o! metaphor known as realit&.

"he onkey and the 2ion

+ don$ey was peacefully feeding in a meadow when he suddenly spotted a mountain lion slin$ing toward him in the high grass. <eali-ing it was too late to run# the don$ey was panic2stric$enand began to bray loudly and frantically.

"he sudden rac$et attracted the attention of a hunter who happened to be passing at the edge of the meadow. When the hunter saw the lion# he raised his rifle and began to ta$e aim. "he old lion#however# saw the hunter as well. <ecogni-ing his intent# the animal turned tail and ran. "he don$ey# who did not see the hunter# wondered to himself# “It is my fearsome voice that has set the lion to flight#” and# braying at the top of his lungs# the don$ey set off in pursuit of the lion. "he don$ey(s ,oy was short2lived# however# for when the lion loo$ed bac$ and saw that thehunter had been left miles behind# he turned around and had the foolish don$ey for lunch.



The truth o! who &ou reall& are includes all &our strengths. *our limitations, too, are anintrinsic part o! &ou. Health& sel!/esteem )alances all these parts o! &ou. 2ittle %elf and ig %elf

To emphasi;e that we need to address the higher leels o! the s&stem, ' now am writing %el!with a capital letter to distinguish that we are talking a)out the deeper %el!, not the super!icial little self .

We all hae a 7sel!8 and a 7%el!.8 The sel! is the shortsighted, greed&, egocentric part. This sel!thinks that more and bigger are alwa&s )etter. 't is toward the little sel! that teleision commercials areso o!ten directed. 't is in the name o! satis!&ing the little sel! that the drug addict steals. 'ts the littlesel! that craes another drink or another cigarette. "he Nature of %elf

"he ewel "hief

+ thief stole some ,ewels and headed immediately to the mar$etplace to sell them. He uic$ly found a buyer and sold them for Q6GG. + ,ewel merchant happened to be passing by at that moment and witnessed the sale. +ma-ed# heapproached the thief# thin$ing him to be a legitimate ,ewel merchant# and inuired# “"hat was anincredibly beautiful nec$lace of the rarest gems. How were you able to sell it for only Q6GG! It wasworth far more5” "he thief (s eyes grew wide# and he as$ed in return# “Bou mean there(s a number bigger than6GG!”

With health& sel!/esteem, ' am not simpl& aluing some part o! me )ut something which is er&central, essential, perhaps een sacred #m& %el!. *ou can take awa& m& !anc& car. *ou can take awa&m& title. *ou can paral&;e me so that ' can no longer win a !oot race. But i! ' hae health& sel!/esteem,' hae something &ou can neer take !rom me. ?ictor 0rankl is re!erring to this realm o! )eing when hewrites, 7The last o! the human !reedoms is to choose ones attitude in an& gien set o! circumstances.8

%elf*#steem and %elfishness

'n toda&s world, where our social inhi)itions against greed, glutton&, pride, and arrogancecrum)le dail&, the concern that we not !ind another wa& to condone sel!ishness is well !ounded. The5uestion o! how health& sel!/esteem a!!ects interpersonal relationships and the societ& at large must )econsidered. ' )eliee that when we reali;e the true nature o! the gi!t o! the %el!, we must simultaneousl&reali;e that eer& other human )eing also has a %el!, whether or not the& hae learned to accept orexpress it. <ust as m& %el! deseres respect !rom me, so &our %el! deseres the same respect and honor!rom &ou#and !rom me. '! ' cannot honor anothers )eaut&, ' cannot trul& honor m& own. When we!ull& understand the nature o! our humanit&, we can onl& )ecome more loing and compassionate

toward others. The 1nited %tates o! America was the !irst nation eer !ounded on the )asis o! a principle thatwe are all created e5ual, with certain unalienable rights, among which are the rights to 7li!e, li)ert& andthe pursuit o! happiness.8 To m& wa& o! thinking, this principle honors the %el! that is within eachhuman )eing. And =ust as the word unalienable re!ers to our rights, ' )eliee that each o! us has theunaliena)le possi)ilit& o! %el!/acceptance, %el!/respect, %el!/con!idence, %el!/esteem. "he 6ltimate 8oal of eep Healing

Deep within each o! us, at our essential core, is a diine 72nower8# the %el! that can heal,



proide guidance !or our li!e, and reliee inner con!lict and distress. When we learn to nurture the true%el!#not the super!icial, greed&, egocentric, narcissistic sel!, )ut the deeper %el!#we open the door todeep sel!/acceptance, sel!/healing, and the possi)ilit& o! true spiritualit&. As we hae learned, our thoughts and images )ecome )iochemical and ph&sical eents in our )odies. When our thoughts, images, and )ehaior are congruent with this deeper sense o! %el!, we )ecome more health& and more ital through the resulting resonance and integrit&.

"his is the ultimate goal of deep healing "he attainment of integrity and congruence?withinour inner thoughts and feelings# among the cells of our bodies# in relationship with others# and with thenatural world. 0elf2esteem is the $ey that unloc$s the inner resources that ma$e possible such healing#and which inspires us to personal excellence. To heal is to make whole, to clear the wa& !or the deeper %el! to integrate and attune all leelso! the s&stem, to nurture that %el!, and to inite it to come !orth and inspire our lies. The outcome iswholeness, =o&!ul %el!/expression, creatiit&, and rich rewarding relationships with others and theworld. The human spirit seeks meaning. $othing outside &ou can hae real meaning unless you haereal meaning. The human )eing is the measure o! all things. Without a sense o! %el!, &ou search in ain!or something that &ou hope will create in &ou the sense o! wholeness and peace that, in truth, each o!us must personall& )ring to li!e !rom within. Without health& %el!/esteem, in the !inal anal&sis &ou canonl& !ail.

E'&E(IENTIAL !O(O)T . //

&wakening Healthy %elf*#steem

Because o! the crucial importance o! %el!/esteem, in m& practice, ' hae deeloped a six/step pathwa& to awaken the inner healer, the %el!: /; SelfAwarene11

Although there are man& distractions in toda&s world, through the processes o! meditation anddeep relaxation it is possi)le to )ecome progressiel& more %el! aware. When ' hear a person sa&, 7' dont like m&sel!,8 m& immediate thoughts are, 7The& dont reall&know themseles.8 The& ma& know what their parents thought o! them, or what the culture @through itsmedia arm wants them to think. But the& dont know themseles. %ometimes, to deal with all these in!luences, the& hae deeloped a negatie, resistant, hostilesel!/image. This is not who the& are. *ou are not a teacher, a mechanic, or a musician4 these are merel& roles &ou ma& pla&.%imilarl&, though the actiities o! )eing a wi!e, !ather, or dedicated leader ma& touch &ou at a muchdeeper leel, these, too, are not the deepest aspects o! who &ou are. The experience o! deep relaxation is an e!!ectie wa& to create the inner silence and !reedom!rom the external world that we hae recorded within our )rain cells. That silence will take &ou to aninner place where &ou )ecome more !ull& aware o! who &ou are.

“What do you see when you turn off the lights! I can(t tell you# but I $now it(s mine.”

# <ohn Lennon

When &ou consciousl& empt& the mind o! super!icial identi!ications, &ou rati!& the importanceo! that which is within. 'n this manner, deep relaxation enhances %el!/esteem at the emotional and



cognitie leels, as well as at the more o)ious ph&sical leel. 0; SelfAcceptance

+nce &ou reali;e who &ou are @&our %el!, &ou will !ind it 5uite accepta)le. %ure, &ou will !indsome o! &our behaviors unaccepta)le. %el!/acceptance actuall& empowers &ou to change them.

“"he curious paradox is that when I accept myself ,ust as I am# then I can change.”

# arl (ogers

All other creatures#dogs, sparrows, dolphins#seem to accept themseles without di!!icult&, Adog who )reaks his leg doesnt worr& a)out what the other dogs will think, and the rooster who ishoarse still crows his loudest and is satis!ied with it. +nl& human )eings seem to )e capa)le o!inenting the illusion that the& are without alue.

“+ friend is someone who $nows who you are# understands where you(ve been# accepts what you(ve become# and gently urges you to grow.”

#Author unknown

'ts time to )ecome &our own !riend.

3; Self(e1pect and Self*aluing

When &ou accept who &ou are, then &ou can stop pretending to )e someone else. At that point,&ou will )egin to appreciate the alue o! &our %el!. The %el!/respect that naturall& !ollows gies &ou asolid )ase !rom which to approach the challenges in &our li!e.

“=e who you is# cu- if you ain(t who you is# you is who you ain(t.”

# 0olk wisdom

+nce &ou respect who &ou are, &ou will )e unwilling to allow an&one or an&thing to a)use &ou. 4; SelfConfidence

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life whichhe has imagined# he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

# Henr& Daid Thoreau



0aith in %el! arises naturall& when &ou know who &ou are. 'mager& that reawakens &ourre!erence memories and experiences, where &ou !elt the =o& and success o! )eing &oursel!, liing &ourtruth, and expressing it, will help &our deeper leels o! %el! know what )ehaior &ou want to rein!orce.A!!irm &our right to )e who &ou are, and to trust in &our own goodness.

“"o be what we are and to become what we are capable of. =ecoming is the only end of life.”

# %pino;a

5; SelfExpre11ion

When &ou know the importance o! who &ou are and hae confidence in &our %el!, nothing canstop &ou !rom its expression.

“<abbi Pusya said that on the day of ,udgment# od would as$ him# not why he had not been

%oses# but why he had not been Pusya.”

#Walter 2au!mann

The simplest !orm o! %el!/expression is the cr& o! a )a)& at )irth. Another is the coherenc& o!the )od& we know as health, peak per!ormance, and loe. The simple !eelings o! =o& is our essence, our )irthright, the silence thats there when we are 5uiet, the stillness thats there when there is nomoement. 0ull %el!/expression is success, !ul!illment, and satis!action with ones li!e and with theworld around. ?isuali;ing &our whole )eing acting in harmon& with &our %el!, in words and actions, will help

to instill the model !or this kind o! )ehaior. This is called image rehearsal, or !uture pacing @see the(esources section. (emem)er that the primar& goal is to )e true to &ou#&our %el!. *ou cant dependupon pleasing others at the same time. '! that happens, !ine. '! not, so )e it. People who loe &ou !orwho &ou reall& are will support &our !ull %el!/expression. Thats good enough. 7; SelfAc9nowledg6ent and SelfNurturing

$ow its time to pat &oursel! on the )ack !or honoring &our %el!. Each time &ou honestl&o)sere how much more success!ul &ou are on eer& leel )& )asing &our li!e on the deepest part o!&our )eing, &ou rein!orce this process. This is the !eed)ack, or %el!/regulator& phase. *ou hae the opportunit& to ealuate, !rom thedeeper perspectie o! %el!, the choices &ou hae made, and to ad=ust &our new image o! &our %el! and

&our world iew. *ou )ecome clearer a)out &our deeper alues and personal purpose. Be sensitie to signs o! increased sense o! %el!/worth: the a)ilit& to )e assertie, to take time torelax, to hae pleasure, and to set health& )oundaries. 'n addition, take the time to see how much moresatis!&ing it is to lie &our li!e in this new, more conscious wa&. The experience o! %el! deepens, and%el!/esteem grows. $ow &ou are read& to )egin again at step one, onl& this time &ou are more whole,more healed, and &ou restart at a leel that is deeper and more whole. *ou ma& !ind the deepl& relaxed state er& use!ul in this step, too. As &ou go into a deepl&relaxed state, &ou will hae a chance to experience all the emotions that hae come up in relation towhat &ou hae done and to !inish processing an& that need !urther work. 'n the relaxed state, &ou can



look rationall& and o)=ectiel& at what has happened and gie &oursel! wise counsel. 1se relaxation tomelt awa& unneeded !eelings o! guilt, anger, resentment, in!lated pride, or other reactions that are o! noalue to &ou.

"he %elf*#steem &lgorithm

' )eliee that these are natural steps that we will each tend to !ollow i! gien the space andsupport. +! course, each o! us has experienced these steps at one time or another. The& gain enormousl&in power, howeer, i! we can consciousl& take them and !ollow them in the appropriate order so as to produce moement o! a permanent and deep nature in the s&stem. This is the true meaning o! deephealing. *es, each step is simple and natural, )ut most o! us haent known that we can control all o!these things4 the knowledge o! how to control them usuall& has not )een made aaila)le to us. %pontaneous %elf*Imagery

"& li!e )egan in the mean streets o! the inner cit&. As a minorit& person growing up in $ew*ork, ' recall m& earl& &ears as 5uite harrowing. ' suried through great e!!ort and hard work. This

same surial mode ena)led me to win scholarships, to achiee degrees as a mathematician and a ph&sician, and to help gie )irth to a new era o! mind/)od& medicine. %o ' was well ersed in the toolso! )ending the enironment to !it m& speci!ications. As m& medical practice )egan to reeal the possi)lilit& that ' could, through %el!/esteem, relax and trust, ' was reluctant to surrender the hard/driing tension that had gotten me this !ar. +ne o! m& most important experiences along this long roadwas the !ollowing.

CASE %ISTO(+: >OSE&%

When ' was liing in "ontere&, ali!ornia, during the mid/C9s, there was a great thirst !orknowledge a)out the work ' was doing in mind/)od& medicine. +ne o! those who !re5uentl& attendedm& weekend seminars was <oseph, a "arine o!!icer who was stationed at the $aal Postgraduate

%chool. Around the middle o! the !irst da&, ' introduced people to the notion o! isuali;ing their imageideal @7isuali;e &oursel! looking and !eeling the wa& &ou reall& would like to look and !eel, in a place&oud like to )e, doing something &oud like to )e doing8. A!ter the experience, ' would ask people toshare their images with the rest o! the group. "ost people isuali;ed themseles on a )each, looking out !rom a high mountain o)serator&,or strolling through a )eauti!ul garden. <osephs image was 5uite di!!erent. He isuali;ed himsel! in his"arine uni!orm, wading through waist/deep water onto an enem&/occupied )each. All around himwere explosions. Bullets were whi;;ing )&. 'n his le!t hand was his "/CI, spewing )ullets into thecrumpling )odies o! what he descri)ed as 7short, &ellow/skinned gooks.8 'n his right hand was agrenade, which he was hurling into the mass o! men de!ending the )each.

As &ou might imagine, this drew 5uite a num)er o! astonished looks !rom the other participants, )ut <oseph didnt notice them. The smile on his !ace and the enthusiasm with which he spoke wereconincing eidence that this was trul& an en=o&a)le image !or him. This same se5uence o! eents wasrepeated on three di!!erent weekends. Each time <oseph had the same image, and each time he shared itwith a)andon. 0ollowing the image ideal imager& process in his !ourth seminar, he did not stand up to share.He looked )ewildered and didnt participate in an& o! the discussions that morning. Then, during thelunch )reak, he came up to me with unaccustomed timidit&. 7%omething weird happened during that imager&, Doc, and 'd like to ask &ou something,8 he



)egan. 7*ou know m& usual image, the one on the )each !ighting the ?ietnameseM Well, this timesomething er& strange happened. ' was going along in the image as usual when suddenl& all thesoldiers turned into &ellow/skinned children, who were standing in a long line in !ront o! me with theirshirts o!!. 7"& khaki uni!orm had turned into a white =acket and m& ri!le into a stethoscope. ' waslistening to their chests and instructing a medic to gie them immuni;ations.8 At this point, his )row

!urrowed een more. He looked er& concerned and not a little )it !rightened. 7's something wrongMWhats happeningM What should ' doM8 ' asked <oseph how he !elt a)out the new image. 7Thats the weirdest part o! all, Doc,8 heanswered. 7't !elt good, )ut ' dont understand it. What should ' doM8 7' am not sure,8 ' responded, 7)ut m& suggestion is that &ou experiment. %ometimes hold theimage o! attacking the )eachhead and sometimes isuali;e the other image. Then see what happens.8 ' didnt hear !rom <oseph !or a couple o! months !ollowing that. Then one morning he appearedat one o! m& seminars. He told me that he had made a change in his career plans. He had decided not tosign on !or another tour o! dut& in the "arines. 'nstead, he was planning to =oin an order o! the atholic )rothers whose mission it was to )ring medical care to sick children in Third World countries. 7+)iousl&,8 he said, 7' !igured out what that strange image meant8

Time and again ' hae !ound that trusting the %el! allows it to mature and trans!orm images inwa&s that transcend our imagination. Deep relaxation and meditation are crucial practices. +nl& in thea)sence o! threats and stressors !rom the external enironment can &our inner wisdom )ring order,coherence, and trans!ormation to &our thoughts, images, and !eelings. Protecting 3our %elf

“0mall is the number of them that see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.”

#Al)ert Einstein

The culture we lie in has not &et seen the power o! mutual respect and loe. 't aims to controlus through negatie social communication. 't is di!!icult to oerestimate the damage that can )e done tous when we uncriticall& accept the opinions, =udgments, criticisms, and expectations o! others. Thein=ur& to &our %el!/awareness, %el!/respect, and personal sense o! power can )e immense. +! course,the harm is much worse when &ou receie a)usie treatment during earl& childhood. When ' hear parents call their kids 7stupid8 or 7)ad,8 or slap them as i! the& were mis)ehaing mules, m& heartweeps. The desire to con!orm and )e accepted, i! onl& to aoid pain, can lead us to den& the %el! thatcan heal us and our world.

't is hard to resist the criticism and =udgments o! larger/than/li!e 7experts8 and 7parentsurrogates.8 But we must. +therwise we die, neer knowing who we are. 't helps to remem)er how!re5uentl& een the greatest men and women o! all time were totall& re=ected )& those who supposedl&7knew )est.8 harles Darwin, !or instance, was )orn to a wealth& !amil& and was sent to what wereconsidered to )e excellent educational institutions. Darwin was a disappointment to his teachers, whoconsidered him onl& a mediocre student. 0urious, his !ather declared that he was a disgrace to his!amil&. harles went on to drop out o! medical school. He entered a seminar& )ut could not completehis studies there either.



%omething in him, howeer, did not gie up, and he went on to deelop the theor& o! theeolution o! the species, a concept that was to change science !oreer. %ir 'saac $ewton, too, was prett& much a run/o!/the/mill student, and his genius went unnoticedexcept )& one o! his teachers. %urprising the academic world, $ewton was awarded the chairmanship o! his uniersit&department when he retired in CII. $ewton proceeded to create a completel& new world iew out o!

2eplers astronom& and -alileos mechanics. He applied laws o! magnetism to the motions around themoon, inented calculus as a mathematical tool !or dealing with the pro)lem, and calculated the periodo! the moon using an inerse s5uare law o! graitation. His three laws o! motion are still the )asis o!eer& ph&sicists training. 'nterestingl& enough, $ewton deliered onl& one lecture each week on the su)=ect o! his newscience, &et he o!ten had no audience !or it 'n eer& poll taken to !ind out who is considered to )e the smartest person o! our time, Al)ertEinstein wins hands down. *et Al)ert Einsteins classmates thought him simple/minded and aoidedhim. He was expelled !rom high school, and he was later re!used admission to the uniersit& )ecausehe was 7weak in mathematics and ph&sics.8 Although emplo&ed as a lowl& patent clerk, his creatiit& !ound a wa& to express itsel!.Einstein, o! course, went on to lead Western science into a new wa& o! thinking. His Theor& o!(elatiit& ushered in the atomic age, and proided a weapon that ensured ictor& in World War ''. Healso le!t an indeli)le impression in the !ields o! philosoph& and peace. 'ts )ad enough when the 7experts8 miss the !act that the& are dealing with an intelligence thatwill irreoca)l& alter the course o! human histor&. But when the& are so wrong that the& accidentall&conclude that a trul& gi!ted person is su)normal, we are all reminded o! how care!ul we must all )e.Each o! us, like Darwin, $ewton, and Einstein, were )orn into a social s&stem with a certain structure.And like them, we need not )e de!ined and limited )& it. Each o! us is !ree to eole our own images o! ourseles, the world, and our relationship to it. 0red Astaire was re=ected when he tried out as an actor. The ealuator wrote down that Astairedidnt hae an& acting talent. Howeer, with a note scrawled in the margin our astute critic allowed:7an dance a little.8

“"here are two things that are infinite# the universe and stupidity of man. +nd I(m not so sureabout the universe.”

#Al)ert Einstein

The communit& laughed at Thomas Edison and the Wright Brothers, threw -alileo in =ail, andcruci!ied <esus. $o Holl&wood studio would produce a cartoon a)out a mouse who spoke in !alsetto, soWalt Disne& started his own studio to produce the !orerunner o! his world/!amous "icke& "ouse

cartoon, 0teamboat Willie. This is not to sa& that simpl& )ecause someone critici;es &ou, =udges &our per!ormance to )ein!erior, or re=ects &our creation that this always means that the opposite is necessaril& true. %ometimesthe ealuation o! the enironment is correct. The point is that since &ou ultimatel& are the =udge o! all&our perceptions, thoughts, and decisions, it is wisest to ealuate others assessments o! &ou with atleast as much o)=ectiit& and wisdom as the& =udge &ou.

“8ife consists not in holding good cards# but in playing those we do hold well.”



# <osh Billings

E'&E(IENTIAL !O(O)T . /0

/; When &ou deepl& relax, pa& particular attention to what trul& matters to &ou, what is the

source o! your sense o! %el!/worthM 0; How hae &ou attempted to awaken health& %el!/esteem in &our children, or how would &oui! &ou had childrenM an &ou see that &ou desere the same treatment !or &oursel! and !rom &oursel!MWhat can &ou do to put this understanding into actionM 3; As &ou look )ack oer &our li!e, what are the main supports &ou hae had !or health& %el!/esteemM What experiences and relationships detracted !rom &our awareness o! &our true %el!/worthMWhat re/scripting do &ou need to do now to heal past wounds and enhance past positie learningsM 4. (eiew the six/step algorithm !or awakening health& %el!/esteem, and deelop a process o!taking &oursel! through those steps. 5; What experiences do &ou hae o! going )e&ond the expectations o! others @or een &oursel!MWhich o! these experiences can &ou use as a positie re!erence memor& !or creating a !uture o! &our

own choosingM Imagery

+ne e!!ectie aid !or awakening and nurturing &our %el!/esteem is the imager& experience 're!er to as 7' A".8 The inner sense o! 7who ' am8 eoles with maturit& and personal growth. +ne graduall& )ecomes less and less identi!ied with possessions, appearance, a)ilities, accomplishments, opinions o!others, and in!lexi)le )elie!s )rought !orward !rom the past. As a result o! grace or grit, we graduall& achiee a deeper sense o! %el!. A!ter letting go o! ouridenti!ication with the more super!icial %el!/identi!ications such as, 7' am a stock)roker who owns aB"W,8 or 7' am a committed worker,8 or 7' am a good gol!er,8 or 7' am a man,8 there emerges a

deeper sense o! identit&. We )egin to think o! ourseles in di!!erent wa&s: 7' am loe.8 7' am purewhite light.8 7' am +ne with the 0ather.8 7' am peace.8 7' am good.8 The !ollowing imager&, excerpted !rom m& audiocassette I +%# will help &ou moe closer to adirect experience o! these deeper leels o! %el!. 0ind a com!orta)le position and let &our awareness gowithin. Listen to that still, small oice within that so o!ten gets drowned out )& the cacophonous roar o! late th entur& Li!e on Planet Earth:

7 +nd as you grow more and more relaxed# you can feel yourself...as though you(re floating...light# gentle# fluffy# feeling of floating up as though you can float freely through time and space...floating...floating through time and space...to a very# very pleasant experience# floating

gently...gradually... "he harmony and beauty of this most special place reaches out softly to you...as though the soft grasses and beautiful blooms have been especially arranged for you...welcoming you...allowing yourself to see their colors...the reds...yellows...orange...blue...calling to you...welcoming you...this is your special place. +nd not far away# you can see a small spring of crystal clear water flowing out from betweentwo large glistening white roc$s...+nd right over there...right near the spring where it bubbles out frombetween the roc$s is a most pleasant and inviting place for you to sit or lie down...and to rest. 0itting down...leaning bac$ against the soft# moss covered trun$ of a wise old tree...you sense



its support. +nd at the very center of you...all is still...and peaceful...and very uiet. Bou notice the feelingof being at the center of the source of your life itself. +ware only of the breathing...in...and out...at thecenter of your being... What is the deepest sense of yourself you can be aware of right now! +t your essence# who are you! 8et go of the superficial images of yourself# drop the roles you sometimes have to play# and sense

who you really are. 'or a few moments# let go of your professional position# your family identity# even your name... Ceep going deeper# beyond the more superficial definitions of yourself...to the most profoundlevel you can reach. @Pause Who are you! 8et that uestion be answered from deep within. “I +m...” What word or phrasebest completes this sentence for you! “I +m...” <epeat this as an affirmation# over and over# to yourself# and feel the effect. ood5 'eel that sense of power and richness# the sense of really being in touch with yourself...the pulse of life within you... Now# repeat silently to yourself# with a deep recognition of their truth# the following 7 I accept myself exactly as I am at this moment and time.” 7 I am learning to trust myself.” 7Within me there is a great power in which I am learning to release through my daily practice.” 7 +s I get to $now myself better and better# I li$e myself more and more.” 7 %y happiness depends on my relationship with myself# not on anyone or anything external tome.” +nd $nowing that you can $eep this feeling with you...gently...gradually...you feel yourself slowly being drawn upwards...floating up...as though your entire body is lighter than air...lifting gently...and so slowly...floating up# yet feeling grounded# centered...lifting...lighter and lighter...I +%... 0tretching# moving...as you sense the surface beneath you...as you awa$en. =ringing with you arelaxation# a feeling of being centered and calm as you begin to stretch...moving your arms andlegs...how relaxed and yet energi-ed they feel. Wide awa$e# alert# and clear...ood5”

AFTE(!O("

“Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you or home is nowhere at all.”

#Herman Hesse

$ow as neer )e!ore, we who share the gi!ts o! this planet are challenged at eer& leel o! thes&stem. Perhaps not so surprisingl&, the greatest o! our challenges are ones we ourseles hae spawned.As the twentienth centur& draws to a close, the world we hae created through our science andtechnolog& resem)les the con=urings o! a deranged sorcerers apprentice. The !orces we hae unleashedthrough the awesome powers we now possess hae )rought us miracles that our great grandparentscould onl& hae imagined. *et, the same wondrous powers that made these miracles possi)le hae alsodrien us !urther out o! )alance. $eer )e!ore hae we possessed the potential we now hae to destro&



this )eauti!ul green/)lue planet that is our home. And neer )e!ore hae we possessed the potential !orhealing the ills o! humanit&, !rom indiidual illness to enironmental destruction, and !rominterpersonal con!licts to wars )etween nations. 'n the past !ew &ears, we hae )egun to see that we must con!ront the t&rann& we hae )roughtinto )eing through our minds, that is, through science and technolog&. We understand and !eel er&deepl& the need to harness our powers !or positie change, to heal the wounds we hae wrought, and

nurse the world )ack into )alance. *et, histor& screams to all o! us with lessons we cannot ignore. %heteaches that unless our e!!orts to interene are guided )& compassion, skill, wisdom, and a clear andloing ision o! the whole# we ma& er& well end up doing more harm than good. Especiall& dangerous are !alse prophets who exploit our pain or mis!ortune !or their own personal gain, or who set us against each other )& emphasi;ing our di!!erences rather than highlightingour )asic similarities# the uniersal identit& we all share through the spirit o! the Li!e !orce itsel!. '! the =uggernaut o! dehumani;ed science and technolog& challenges us on one !ront, a related )ut e5uall& ominous threat challenges us on another. This second threat rises !rom the growingtendenc& o! our culture to care up human experience into !ragments. We see this in health care, wherespecialists )ecome so minutel& !ocused on one area o! the human organism that the& no longer see thewhole person who has come to them !or treatment. We see it in industr&, where the )usiness o! makingmone& and amassing !ortunes oershadows the higher purpose o! improing the 5ualit& o! li!e !or all. The traged& is that the miraculous wholeness o! li!e, with its in!inite interweaings o! )eaut&,complexit&, color, endless rh&thms, and light !ade into the )ackground as we !ragment our experiences.With disproportionate emphasis on the isolated parts, all o! us )egin to lose the a)ilit& to een thin$ interms o! a larger !rame o! re!erence. $ho &re $e

Eer since the earliest li!e !orms emerged on this planet, our greatest task has )een todistinguish self !rom not2self , and to maintain our own )alance and integrit&. We are Li!e. We all sharea common )ond, a common histor&, a common Being#the Being that asserted itsel! as the animating!orce within the er& !irst liing cell. We hae come a long wa& since the moment when this spark o!li!e came into our world, trans!orming the inanimate into the animate. Between then and now, we haedeeloped a )rain and nerous s&stem !or storing in!ormation, ena)ling us to learn, to know, and to )econscious o! our seles. As conscious )eings, we hae !urther gained the a)ilit& to imagine, to plan, tocreate, and to discoer meaning . We hae grown not onl& smarter )ut wiser# with the higher realms o! philosoph& and spirit opening up to us. We are deeloping new appreciation !or the miraculous we) o!li!e that =oins us all to a larger whole. Within the human mind arises the highest leel o! consciousness, and its ultimate expression inour a)ilit& to create and experience 7stor&,8 that is, the special, art!ul practice o! weaing togetherthoughts, !eelings, and images. Through this miraculous process, we are mastering the art o! creatingmeaning and healing. Through it we hae !ound a wa& to share our li!e experiences with one another inorder to not onl& seek com!ort and )ring it to others, )ut to help expand and enrich the consciousness o! the human experience itsel!. 't is through the stor&, shared with our !ellows, that we seek and !indharmon&, wherein all the s&stems that make up li!e )lend together in a single song. 't is here that weexperience the state o! italit&, creatiit&, enthusiasm, strength, and =o& that we call optimal health. We hae seen how, at its )est, and at its deepest, healing goes not onl& to the depth o! theindiidual soul, )ut )e&ond it, to our !amilies, communities, and ultimatel& to the planet as a whole. The s&stem that is within us, and the s&stem that is the culture and the world in which we lie,are !undamentall& logical and orderl&. We hae eoled out o! the cosmic dust to populate this planet,and we )elong here. When we learn to create integrit& within, and to !unction harmoniousl& with thislarger s&stem we call our enironment, we can achiee our deepest healing, !ullest success, and mostcomplete satis!action.



Whether or not we are aware o! it, there is something good, )eauti!ul, and diine a)out thisentire s&stem and all the su)s&stems that take part in it. The totalit& o! )eaut& and goodness that all thisrepresents is uni5ue, and o! un!athoma)le intrinsic alue. This essence in which &ou are immersed hasthe power to heal &ou. Whats more, the path to awaken, nurture, empower, and support that essence isthrough the respect, !aith, and expression o! the %el! within each o! us. od is in the details.... Each o! us is capa)le o! making our own )est decisions. This capa)ilit& is !ull& reali;ed when

we hae access to our wisdom. *ou hae, within &ou, the a)ilit& to !ull& achiee &our hearts deepestdesire. *ou hae the capacit& to )e happ&# and )e&ond that, !ul!illed, and deepl& satis!ied. But this re5uires that &ou continue along the path o! awakening, empowering, nurturing, andesteeming the %el! that is our essence. %ome call the goals o! this process enlightenment# and like soman& other things in li!e, it must happen one da& at a time.

Heaven and Hell

+ 0amurai became very interested in the meaning of life# and in time he consulted a Penmaster. “I(ve come to you with my uestion because no one else has been able to answer it. "hey say you are the wisest man in the country. 1lease tell me# what is the difference between heaven and hell!” Opon hearing this# the old man(s face bro$e into a smile# and then he began to laugh. “Bou# a 0amurai# a man who earns his living by $illing people! Bou want to $now thedifference between heaven and hell! Do you $now how ridiculous that sounds!” +s the old man spo$e# the 0amurai became furious. 'inally# drawing his sword and holding itin stri$ing position above the old man(s head# the 0amurai growled# “I(ve heard enough5 1repare todie# mon$.” Instantly# the old man stopped laughing and loo$ed intently into the 0amurai(s rage2contorted face. “"hat#” he said# “is hell.” +s the 0amurai loo$ed within and saw the violence and turmoil there# his ,aw dropped open inama-ement. +s the old man(s meaning dawned upon him# he slowly lowered his sword. “+nd that#” continued the old man# “is heaven.” The lesson in this ancient stor& is that the promise o! !reedom, enlightenment, and =o& is ineer& moment. We must )e wise, patient, skill!ul, and especiall& honor our thoughts i! we are tonurture and )ring !orth the !ull reali;ation o! that promise. *ou can do it. ' can do it. The in!ormation highwa& that is the human consciousness hasdeliered to &our doorstep eer&thing &ou need. 't is m& hope and )elie! that this )ook might sere, insome modest wa&, to allow all o! us to take up the wisdom that is aaila)le to us and )ring it to !ullreali;ation in all our lies.

"he Hermit and the Parrots

@nce# while a floc$ of parrots was peacefully feeding in the trees of a forest# they were spottedby a hunter. /reeping up slowly# he hid behind some bushes and tossed some seed on the ground. Delighted# the parrots flew down and began to eat greedily. Ruic$ly the hunter(s practiced hand tossed out a net# s$illfully catching every one of them. "he resulting commotion awa$ened a hermit who was sleeping in a nearby cave. “Help us# help us5” the parrots pleaded when they saw the hermit. “He(s going to ta$e us andeat us5” <eplying to the hermit(s ui--ical loo$# the hunter said# “I(m a hunter and have to feed my family. "his is how I do it.” “1erhaps I could buy them from you#” suggested the $indhearted hermit. “Well# I guess that would be all right. =ut I will have to feed my family on another day# so I(llbe bac$#” he warned.



+fter the hunter had been paid and the parrots freed# the hermit bade them sit and listen to him.“8oo$# I(ve used the last of my money to pay the hunter. Now you must learn to avoid being caught.” He then taught them a little chant “Ceep flying# $eep flying# stay up# don(t land# 0tay up in the air# stay away from the man.” "he hermit instructed the birds to always be on the loo$out for the hunter# and when any ofthem spotted him to begin singing loudly. "he parrots listened carefully# and when they had all learned

the chant# he let them go. + few wee$s later# as he had promised# the hunter returned# throwing handfuls of bird seed onthe ground in the clearing. When the parrots saw the hunter# they began excitedly chattering in unison “Ceep flying# $eep flying# stay up# don(t land# 0tay up in the air# stay away from the man.” +nd when they saw the seed on the ground# they uic$ly flew down to it# still screeching thechant between bea$s full of bait. @ut flew the hunter(s net# and again he captured the lot of them. +nd again the hermit came forth to see the cause of the rac$et. “0ave us# save us5” the parrots cried. “He(s going to ta$e us home and eat us5” “I taught you the chant# I taught you what to do# that(s as far as I could go. "he rest was up to you4 only you could put my suggestions to wor$.” 1utting his hands into his poc$ets# the hermit wal$ed sadly bac$ to his cave.

Each o! us has at our !ingertips, in this )ook and in in!ormation that is alread& within us and allaround us, the wisdom that has )een passed down, growing richer all the while, since the )eginning o!time. But merel& 7knowing8 is not enough. To aoid a !ate like that o! the parrots, we need to put thatwisdom to use starting now. There is eidence that man& people the world oer are )eginning to notonl& listen to this !lowing current o! wisdom )ut to !ull& heed its messages. Like the hermit, each o! ushas knowledge and power that can change our indiidual lies and the health o! the whole s&stem o!which we are a part. And, like the parrots, we must use what we know at the highest leel, what weknow o! our deepest alues, o! our !ondest dreams, o! our most heart!elt passion to guide, inspire,in!orm, and motiate all the other leels o! our s&stem.

“"o $now# and to not do# is to not yet $now.”

#Author unknown

<ust as tran5uilit& and silence achieed through deep relaxation and meditation can !orm a still point !rom which to o)sere and ealuate our world and make wise choices, so the deelopment o! the%el! can proide a relia)le guide#/an inspiration whose power goes !ar )e&ond what we mightimagine. Through nurturing this %el! and empowering its congruent expression throughout each leel

o! our indiidual )eings, we can )ring a)out a higher order healing that will extend to eer& other leelo! this wondrous s&stem in which we are all precious participants. 'n the !inal anal&sis, the kind o! healing we hae explored in this )ook is not drien )& sel!/gain, and is not aimed onl& at sel!/surial in a di!!icult world. We !ind that )& using these principles tocreate health in our own lies we automaticall& contri)ute to something larger. Through our ownhealing, we draw upon#and indeed help to )uild upon and expand# the goodness, power, )eaut&, andstrength o! the whole s&stem, the uniersal s&stem that is our ultimate support. Een as we receiethese limitless gi!ts, we do so !ull& recogni;ing our contri)ution to the whole as we )ring our own liesinto eer greater )alance through deep healing.



A&&EN"I'

.esources for Further %tudy Part I4'rgani1ed by hapter

Tapes and )ooks )& Dr. "iller ma& )e ordered !rom Source Ca11ette Learning S21te61- Inc; ,

P.+. Box W, %tan!ord, ali!ornia G. Telephone orders: K/J/TAPE% @K/JK/99. Chapter /

heckland, Peter. 0ystems "heory# 0ystem 1ractice. Chapter 0

Trais, <ohn W. Wellness Wor$boo$. "ill ?alle&, A:Wellness (esource enter, C9J. Chapter 3

ooks

Pelletier, 2enneth (. %ind as Healer# %ind as 0layer. $ew *ork: Delacorte Press/%e&mourLawrence, C9. 0errucci, Piero. What We %ay =etechniues for psychological and spiritual growth. LosAngeles, A: <.P. Tarcher, 'nc., CK. %atir, ?irginia. 1eoplema$ing. Palo Alto, A: %cience and Behaior Books, 'nc., C9. +rnstein, (o)ert E. "he 1sychology of /onsciousness. $ew *ork: Penguin Books, CKI.

"apes

"iller, Emmett E. <ainbow =utterfly S66. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. A )eauti!ull& imaginatie introduction to deeprelaxation accompanied )& irtuoso harp o! -eorgia 2ell&. "iller, Emmett E. 8etting o of 0tress S79. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. (epresenting !our di!!erent techni5ues !or entering deep relaxation. 0eaturing the music o! $ew Age legend %teen Halpern. "iller, Emmett E. <elaxation and Inspiration S6G7. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.,"enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Aaila)le as an audiotape, )ut alsoa ideotape, o!!ering )eauti!ul images and music. %peciall& use!ul !or those who hae trou)le at !irstcon=uring up their own inner isual images. Chapter 4

ooks

-oleman, Daniel. &motional Intelligence. $ew *ork: Bantam Books, CJ. Antonio DAmasio. Descartes( &rror# &motion# <eason and the Human =rain. Aon Books,CG. Benson, Her)ert. "he <elaxation <esponse. $ew *ork: William "orrow and ompan&, 'nc.,C9J.

"apes

"iller, Emmett E. Healing ourney S6L . %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. A general purpose deep relaxation and sel!/healing tape !or ph&sical, mental, emotional im)alances. Extremel& )eauti!ul imager& enhanced )& themusic o! (aphael. "iller, Emmett E. Health and Wellness S6J. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. 0our experiences !or maximi;ing &oura)ilit& to )e responsi)le !or and )ring wellness to mind, )od&, emotion, and spirit.



Chapter 5

ooks

-awain, %hakti. /reative Eisuali-ation. $ew World Li)rar&, CJ. Explores the use o!a!!irmation as well as isuali;ation in creating &our own realit&. DeBono, Edward. De=ono(s "hin$ing /ourse. Explores the alue o! logical, rational, use o! the

intellect, presented as a sel!/help learning course. Luthe, W. +utogenic "raining. $ew *ork: -rune %tratton, CIJ. A presentation o!autogenics )& one o! its prime deelopers.

"apes

"iller, Emmett E. 8aunching Bour Day S9M. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. 0erenity 1rayer SLG. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. Inner /hild Healing S6K. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Chapter 7

ooks

%eligman, "artin. 8earned @ptimism. $ew *ork: A.A. 2nop!, C. ancer %upport Education enter# a ma=or part o! the training people receie at the enter is in )eing a)le tooercome the helplessness learned through )eing a person with cancer in our current societ&.

"apes

"iller, Emmett E. I /+N>+chieving 0elf &mpowerment S6M. %ource assette Learning %&stems,'nc., "enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. 'reeing Bourself 'rom 'ear S99J. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.,"enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. %et o! three (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassettes. A s&stematicdesensiti;ation process to help ena)le &ou to oercome pho)ias and !ears through greater access torelaxation and con!idence. Chapter 8

ooks

%eligman, "artin. 8earned @ptimism. $ew *ork: A.A. 2nop!, C. Written )& one o! the prime researchers in the !ield o! learned helplessness# explores how to shi!t &our thinking to a positie !rame, and the compelling reasons to do so. Locke, %tephen and Douglas olligan. "he Healer Within. $ew *ork: E.P. Dutton,CKI. %iegel, Bernie %. 8ove# %edicine T %iracles. $ew *ork: Harper (ow, CKI. Achter)erg, <., +.. %imonton, and %. "atthews/%imonton. 0tress# 1sychological 'actors# and/ancer . 0ort Worth, T3: $ew "edicine Press, C9I. %imonton, +scar arl, %tephanie "atthews/%imonton and <im reighton. etting Well +gaina step2by2step# self help guide to overcoming cancer for patients and their families. Los Angeles4 $ew*ork: <.P. Tarcher, C9K. +ne o! the !irst and most important )ooks written to help cancer patients take charge o! their ownhealing. <im and "agdalene reighton, along with William Buchhol;, ".D., along with m&sel!, co/!ounded the ancer %upport Education enter in C99. The ancer %upport Education enter# The address and phone num)er !or the center are CJPine %treet, "enlo Park, A GJ: @GCJ 9/ICII.



"apes

"iller, Emmett E. Healing ourney S6L . %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. 1ositive Imagery for 1eople with /ancer S7. %ource assette Learning%&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. 'ncludes imager&

!rom Healing <ourne&, along with a second deep relaxationOguided imager& experience to inspire theimmune s&stem to eliminate the disease @along with an& other treatment &ou ma& )e undergoing. "iller, Emmett E. 0uccessful 0urgery and <ecovery S7G9. %ource assette Learning %&stems,'nc., "enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Helps &ou attune mind and )od& to participate positiel& so as to ease surger& and speed recoer&. "iller, Emmett E. +wa$ening the Healer Within S77. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.,"enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette.Two talks gien at the ancer %upport Education enter exploring the principles and importance o!nurturing the inner healing response. "iller, Emmett E. + "ime to Heal S:7. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& ?ideocassette. Two talks gien at the ancer %upport Education enter exploring the principles and importance o! nurturing the inner healing response.Words, music and )eauti!ul isual images to help with relaxation during the healing process. "iller, Emmett E. Immuno2Imagery SMG. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& ?ideo and Audio assettes. Audiotape and ideotape programs !eaturing images o! liing immune cells going a)out their work. 'n addition to these moingimages, artists conceptions and cartoon interpretations are added to enrich imager& !or strengtheningthe immune s&stem. Chapter ?

ooks

2a)at/6inn, <on. Wherever Bou o# "here Bou +re %indfulness %editation in &veryday 8ife. $ew *ork: H&perion, CG. Appl&ing principles o! )reath meditation to healing. %el&e, Hans. 0tress Without Distress. $ew *ork: E.P. Dutton, C9G. B& the inentor o! theword stress # a discussion o! the stress response and its e!!ect on the )od&. Ps&chotherap& )&reciprocal inhi)ition. Benson, Her)ert. "he %ind>=ody &ffect. $ew *ork: %imon %chuster, 'nc., C9. Benson, Her)ert. "he <elaxation <esponse. $ew *ork: William "orrow and ompan&, 'nc.,C9J. "iller, Emmett E. @pening Bour Inner I . Berkele&, A: elestial Arts, CK9. Explores the%electie Awareness techni5ue, as well as the role o! deep relaxation and imager& in resoling ph&sical pro)lems. ontains numerous scripts o! guided imager& experiences. %u;uki, %hun. Pen %ind =eginner(s %ind . $ew *ork: Weatherhill, C9. %og&al, (inpoche. "he "ibetan =oo$ of 8iving and Dying . %an 0rancisco: Harper %an0rancisco, C. (am Dass. =e Here Now. %an risto)al, $": Lama 0oundation, C9C. Watts, Alan. "he Way of Pen. $ew *ork: Pantheon Books, CI9.

"apes

"iller, Emmett E. 8etting o of 0tress S79. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. "en %inute 0tress %anager SM9. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.,"enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette.



"iller, Emmett E. Down with High =lood 1ressure SG9. %ource assette Learning %&stems,'nc., "enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. 0our experiences !orexploring and modi!&ing !actors that eleate &our )lood pressure. "iller, Emmett E. Healing Bour =ac$ SGM. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. 0our experiences to help with relaxingand healing &our )ack and re/scripting those )ehaiors which would in=ure it.

"iller, Emmett E. Headache <elief S67. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. -uidance in relieing a wide ariet& o!headaches. "iller, Emmett E. Writing Bour @wn 0cript S7G7. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.,"enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. Imagine Bourself 0lim S6. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Appl&ing the techni5ues o! mind/)od&medicine to create the )od& &ou want, !irst in imager&, then in realit&. "iller, Emmett E. /hange the /hannel on 1ain S:L. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.,"enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "odi!&ing )oth &our thoughts and&our ph&siolog& to create greater com!ort. "iller, Emmett E. Winning at 8earning S7GK. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Appl&ing these techni5ues to maximi;ing&our potential !or learning. Excellent !or students. "iller, Emmett E. 0mo$e No %ore S776. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Train &oursel! to let go o! cigarettes. "iller, Emmett E. 0elf2Hypnosis and 1ersonal Development SJG9. %ource assette Learning%&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Take this course,originall& recorded at the 1niersit& o! ali!ornia at Berkele&, and learn to appl& deep relaxation andimager& in a h&pnotic !ramework. Chapter //

ooks

0errucci, Piero. What We %ay =etechniues for psychological and spiritual growth. LosAngeles, A: <.P. Tarcher, 'nc., CK. -ar!ield, harles and Hal 6ina Bennett. 1ea$ 1erformance. $ew *ork: Warner Books, CKJ.

"apes

"iller, Emmett E. I /+N>+chieving 0elf &mpowerment S6M. %ource assette Learning %&stems,'nc., "enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. "en %inute 0tress %anager SM9. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.,"enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. +ne side helps reliee stress, thesecond, a !aorite o! +l&mpic athletes as well as other high per!ormers, helps sel!/program peak per!ormance. "iller, Emmett E. 8aunching Bour Day S9M. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. reate a re!erence memor& each da& tocarr& with &ou to work. "iller, Emmett E. 0ource %editation S:7. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Teaches a peak per!ormance imager& techni5ue )ased on relaxation and mental image rehearsal. "iller, Emmett E. 1ower Eision SLMG. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. <un to Win S77J. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park, A,



K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Athletes, especiall& runners, design !uture per!ormance )& re/experiencing their personal )est. Chapter /0

ooks

"iller, Alice. 'or Bour @wn oodhidden cruelty in child2rearing and the roots of violence.

$ew *ork: 0arrar, %traus, -iroux, CKG. DAmasio, Antonio. Descartes( &rror &motion# <eason and the Human =rain. Aon Books,CG. 0errucci, Piero. What We %ay =e techniues for psychological and spiritual growth. LosAngeles, A: <.P. Tarcher, 'nc., CK. 2U)ler/(oss, Elisa)eth. @n Death and Dying. $ew *ork: "acmillan Pu)lishing o., 'nc.,CI. Pri)ram, 2. 8anguages of the =rain. Englewood li!!s, $<: Prentice/Hall, C9C.

"apes

"iller, Emmett E. +ccepting /hange and %oving @n S:J. %ource assette Learning %&stems,'nc., "enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. A wa& to help with the process o! grieing an& loss, no matter how large or small. %hows &ou how to grow through theexperience. "iller, Emmett E. 0exual Intimacy SM7. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. How to attune to &oursel! and &our partner so as to maximi;e &our en=o&ment and capacit& !orsexual !ul!illment. "iller, Emmett E. 'reeing Bourself from 'ear S99J. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.,"enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. 1ower Eision SLMG. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. @ptimal 1erformance SM:. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Chapter /3

ooks

0errucci, Piero. What We %ay =etechniues for psychological and spiritual growth. LosAngeles, A: <.P. Tarcher, 'nc., CK.

"apes

"iller, Emmett E. 0erenity 1rayer SLG. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. +!!ers !ine principles !or li!e o! wholeness. "iller, Emmett E. 8aunching Bour Day S9M. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. Healing the 1lanet S6G6. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. The principles o! sel!/healing applied at ahigher order#healing a ision o! =oining in the spirit o! loe to heal the world we all lie in. "iller, Emmett E. 'inding 0erenity S7GJ. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. Healing relationships )& attuning to sel! andreleasing co/dependenc&. Chapter /4

ooks



ali!ornia Task 0orce to Promote %el!/Esteem and Personal and %ocial (esponsi)ilit&. "oward + 0tate of &steem. %acramento, A: ali!ornia %tate Department o! Education, C. 0ollowing three&ears o! care!ul inestigation, we concluded that health& sel!/esteem is a accine against man& socialills. +ur report details our !indings, and descri)es how to )uild the principles o! sel!/esteem intocommunities and goernments.

Branden, $athanial. Honoring the 0elfpersonal integrity and the heroic potentials of humannature. Los Angeles4 Boston: <.P.Tarcher, CK. "apes

"iller, Emmett E. I +%>+wa$ening 0elf +cceptance S6:. %ource assette Learning %&stems,'nc., "enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. I /+N>+chieving 0elf &mpowerment S6M. %ource assette Learning %&stems,'nc., "enlo Park, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. 1ower Eision SLMG. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enlo Park,A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette. The principles o! sel!/esteem are applied againand again in this program o! sel!/awareness, sel!/expression and peak per!ormance. "iller, Emmett E. Inner /hild Healing S6K. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc., "enloPark, A, K/JK/99. (elaxationO'mager& Audiocassette.

.esources for Further %tudy Part II4'rgani1ed by "opic

I; &er1onal #rowth and Therap2

A. %atir, ?irginia. 1eoplema$ing. Palo Alto, A: %cience and Behaior Books, 'nc., C9. B. Wolpe, <. 1sychotherapy by <eciprocal Inhibition. %tan!ord, A: %tan!ord 1niersit& Press,CJK. . %eligman, "artin. 8earned @ptimism. $ew *ork: A.A. 2nop!, C. II; Logical Thin9ing

A. DeBono, Edward. De=ono(s "hin$ing /ourse. III; S21te61 Thin9ing

A. heckland, Peter. 0ystems "heory# 0ystem 1ractice. B. Wat;lawick, Paul. "he Invented <eality. $ew *ork: $orton, CKG. . Trais, <ohn W. Wellness Wor$boo$. "ill ?alle&, A:Wellness (esource enter, C9J. D. DAmasio, Antonio. Descartes( &rror &motion# <eason and the Human =rain. AonBooks, CG. I*; Changing Behavior &attern1

A. "iller, Emmett E. Writing Bour @wn 0cript S7G7. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. This is a complete program !or deconditioning old responses and isuali;ing new ones. B. "iller, Emmett E. 'reeing Bourself from 'ear S99J. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. *I; "eveloping (eference $e6orie1

A. "alt;, "axwell. 1sycho2cybernetics. Los Angeles: (enaissance Tapes, CKK. Audiocassette. B. -awain, %hakti. /reative Eisuali-ation. $ew World Li)rar&, CJ. . %amuels, "., and $. %amuels. 0eeing with the %ind(s &ye. $ew *ork: (andom House, 'nc.,CKC. D. "iller, Emmett E. @ptimal 1erformance SM:. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette . E. "iller, Emmett E. "en %inute 0tress %anager SM9. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.0. "iller, Emmett Audiocassette. E. 1ower Eision SLMG. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc. Audiocassette.



-. "iller, Emmett E. I /+N>+chieving 0elf &mpowerment S6M. %ource assette Learning%&stems, 'nc. Audiocassette . *II; SelfE1tee6

A. Branden, $athanial. Honoring the 0elfpersonal integrity and the heroic potentials of humannature. Los Angeles4 Boston: <.P. Tarcher, CK. B. 0errucci, Piero. What We %ay =etechniues for psychological and spiritual growth. Los

Angeles, A: <.P. Tarcher, 'nc., CK. . ali!ornia Task 0orce to Promote %el!/esteem and Personal and %ocial (esponsi)ilit&."oward + 0tate of &steem. %acramento, A: ali!ornia %tate Department o! Education, C. D. "iller, Emmett E. "he 1ower of "rue 0elf &steem S9K. %ource assette Learning %&stem,'nc. Audiocassette. E. "iller, Emmett E. I +%>+wa$ening 0elf +cceptance S6:. %ource assette Learning %&stems,'nc. Audiocassette. 0. "iller, Emmett E. I /+N>+chieving 0elf &mpowerment S6M. %ource assette Learning%&stems, 'nc. Audiocassette. -. "iller, Emmett E. 1ower Eision S LMG. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. H. "iller, Emmett E. Inner /hild Healing S6K. %ource assette Learning %&stems,Audiocassette. *III; &ea9 &erfor6ance

A. -ar!ield, harles. 1ea$ 1erformance. Ps&cholog& Toda& Pu)lishing, CKJ. Audiocassette. B. "iller, Emmett E. 1ower Eision SLMG. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. . "iller, Emmett E. I /+N>+chieving 0elf &mpowerment S6M. %ource assette Learning%&stems, 'nc. Audiocassette. D. "iller, Emmett E. 8aunching Bour Day S9M. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. E. "iller, Emmett E. @ptimal 1erformance SM:. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. I'; Self%ealing of &h21ical "i1order1

A. Locke, %tephen and Douglas olligan. "he Healer Within. $ew *ork: E.P. Dutton, CKI. B. %iegel, Bernie %. 8ove# %edicine T %iracles. $ew *ork: Harper (ow, CKI. . Achter)erg, <., +.. %imonton, and %. "atthews/%imonton. 0tress# 1sychological 'actors#and /ancer . 0ort Worth, T3: $ew "edicine Press, C9I. D. Benson, Her)ert. "he %ind>=ody &ffect. $ew *ork: %imon %chuster, 'nc., C9. E. ousins, $orman. +natomy of an Illness +s 1erceived by the 1atientreflections on healingand regeneration. Boston: -.2. Hall CK. 0. <a!!e, Dennis T. Healing from Within. $ew *ork: Al!red A. 2nop!, 'nc. @Distri)uted )&(andom House, CK. -. Pelletier, 2enneth (. %ind as Healer# %ind as 0layer. $ew *ork: Delacorte Press/%e&mourLawrence, C9. H. (ossman, "artin L. Healing Bourself a step2by2step program for better health throughimagery. $ew *ork: Walker and ompan&, CK9. '. Bresler, Daid E., and (ichard Tru)o. 'ree Bourself from 1ain. $ew *ork: %imon %chuster, 'nc., C9. <. 2u)ler/(oss, Elisa)eth. @n Death and Dying. $ew *ork: "acmillan Pu)lishing o., 'nc.,CI. 2. Pri)ram, 2. 8anguages of the =rain. Englewood li!!s, $<:Prentice/Hall, C9C. L. 2urt;, (on, and Hector Prestera. =ody <eveals. $ew *ork, %an 0rancisco, London: Harper



(owO>uick %iler Books, C9I. ". 2a)at/6inn, <on. 'ull /atastrophe 8ivingusing the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress# pain and illness. $ew *ork: Delacorte Press, C. $. %imonton, +scar arl, %tephanie "atthews/%imonton and <im reighton. etting Well +gaina step2by2step# self help guide to overcoming cancer for patients and their families. Los Angeles4 $ew *ork: <.P. Tarcher, C9K. This is one o! the !irst and most important )ooks written to help cancer

patients take charge o! their own healing. <im reighton is also a co/!ounder, with m&sel!, "agdalenereighton, and William Buchhol;, ".D., o! the ancer %upport and Education enter in "enlo Park,ali!ornia. +. Bor&senko, <oan, with Larr& (othstein. %inding the =ody# %ending the %ind. (eading, "A:Addison/Wesle& Pu)lishing o., CK9. '; Culture- Societal

A. "iller, Alice. 'or Bour @wn oodhidden cruelty in child2rearing and the roots of violence. $ew *ork: 0arrar, %traus, -iroux, CKG. 'I; The (ole of E6otion1

A. 0ro)enius, Leo, and Douglas . 0ox. +frican enesis. $ew *ork: B. Blom, CII. B. Antonio DAmasio. Descartes( &rror# &motion# <eason and the Human =rain. Aon Books,CG. . -oleman, Daniel. &motional Intelligence. $ew *ork: Bantam Books, CJ. 'II; "eep (elaxation and Stre11 $anage6ent

A. "iller, Emmett E. 0tress'itness Eol. 6 S76. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. "iller, Emmett E. 0tress'itness Eol 7 S77. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. B. Benson, Her)ert. "he <elaxation <esponse. $ew *ork: William "orrow and ompan&, 'nc.,C9J. . Luthe, W. +utogenic "raining. $ew *ork: -rune %tratton, CIJ. D. %el&e, Hans. 0tress Without Distress. $ew *ork: E.P.Dutton, C9G. E. %el&e, Hans. "he 0tress of 8ife. $ew *ork: "c-raw/Hill Book ompan&, CJI. 0. "iller, Emmett E. 8etting o of 0tress S79. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc. Audiocassette. Part A teaches the )asic autogenic techni5ue o! sel!/relaxation and stress release. -. "iller, Emmett E. "en %inute 0tress %anager SM9. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. H. "iller, Emmett E. <ainbow =utterfly S66. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. '. -oleman, Daniel. &motional Intelligence. $ew *ork: Bantam Books, CJ. <. "iller, Emmett E. @pening Bour Inner I . Berkele&, A: elestial Arts, CK9. 2. arlson, (ichard, and Ben=amin %hield. Healers on Healing. Los Angeles4 $ew *ork: <.P.Tarcher, CK. 'III; Affir6ation1

A. "iller, Emmett E. 8aunching Bour Day S9M. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. B. -awain, %hakti. /reative Eisuali-ation. $ew World Li)rar&, CJ. @$ew Edition 'I*; I6ager2 and I6agination

A. "iller, Emmett E., with De)orah Leuth. 0elf Imagery# /reating Bour @wn ood Health. Berkele&, A: elestial Arts, CKI. B. %amuels, "., and $. %amuels. 0eeing with the %ind(s &ye. $ew *ork: (andom House, 'nc.,CKC. . %heikh, Anees A. Imagination and Healing . Da&wood Pu)lishing ompan&, CKG. D. "alt;, "axwell. 1sycho2cybernetics. Englewood li!!s, $<: Prentice/Hall, 'nc., CI.



'*; &12choph21iolog2

A. annon, W. "he Wisdom of the =ody. $ew *ork: $orton, CI9. B. "orris, Desmond. Na$ed +pe. $ew *ork: Dell, CI. . %imeons, Al)ert T. %an(s 1resumptuous =rain +n &volutionary Interpretation of. $ew*ork: Dutton, CIC. D. +rnstein, (o)ert E. 1sychology of the /onsciousness. $ew *ork: Penguin Books, CKI.

'*I; $editation- Spiritual A. %u;uki, %hun. Pen %ind =eginner(s %ind . $ew *ork: Weatherhill, C9. B. %og&al, (inpoche."he "ibetan =oo$ of 8iving and Dying . %an 0rancisco: Harper %an0rancisco, C. . "iller, Emmett E. 0ource %editation S:7. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. An excellent )asic introduction to meditation )ased on )reathing. D. (am Dass. =e Here Now. %an risto)al, $": Lama 0oundation, C9C. E. Herrigel, Eugene. Pen in the +rt of +rchery. $ew *ork: Pantheon Books, CJ. 0. Watts, Alan. "he Way of Pen. $ew *ork: Pantheon Books, CI9. -. "iller, Emmett E. <ainbow =utterfly S66. %ource assette Learning %&stems, 'nc.Audiocassette. H. Arrien, Angeles. "he "arot Handboo$ practical applications of ancient visual symbols. %onoma, A: Arcus Pu)lishing o., CK9. '*II; Organiation1

The National A11ociation for the Clinical Application of Behavioral $edicine NICAB$D is anexcellent source o! in!ormation and colleagueship !or health pro!essionals interested in ps&choph&siological medicine and deep healing. $ational meetings are held the !irst week in Decem)er each &ear. 0or !urther in!ormation, call ancer %upport and Education enter o!!ers weekl& trainingsessions as well as week/long intensies !or people with cancer, their !amilies and support groups.Address and phone num)er CJ Pine %treet, "enlo Park, A GJ, @GCJ 9/ICII.Co66onweal, located in Bolinas, ali!ornia, o!!ers healing retreats !or those with cancer and otherchronic conditions. 0or in!ormation, call @GCJ KIK/9.

ABO)T T%E A)T%O(

As a ph&sician, and one o! the !irst practitioners o! modern mind/)od& medicine @ps&cho/ ph&siological medicine, Dr. "illers work has receied the highest regard !or more than two decades.His earl& work inoling the s&nthesis o! medical h&pnosis, meditation and trance states, and musicand spiritual insight, )egan in the earl& 9s at Esalen 'nstitute and reached !ruition in his inention anddeelopment o! the now !amiliar relaxation and guided imager& cassette. +er the next ten &ears, he )roadened his perspectie to include high/leel wellness, peak per!ormance strategies, and the application o! these healing and )ehaior change in !amilies, groups,and organi;ations. 'n addition to his numerous )ooks, he gained national and international prominenceas a co/conener o! the ali!ornia Task 0orce on %el!/Esteem, which clearl& demonstrated the pro!ound e!!ect o! sel!/esteem @or the lack thereo! on success, social adaptation, scholastic per!ormance, drug and alcohol a)use, and iolence. A graduate o! the Al)ert Einstein ollege o! "edicine, Dr. "iller lectures at numerousuniersities and medical schools, and has appeared on numerous national T? shows, including 7%all&<ess& (aphael,8 7(egis 2ath& Lee,8 and 7O.8 His tapes are widel& used in hospitals,recommended )& health pro!essionals, and used to achiee peak per!ormance )& )usinesspeople, per!ormers, and athletes, including the 1.%. +l&mpic team. During the last decade, his explorationshae !ocused more on depth ps&cholog& and the spiritual dimension o! human li!e. Dr. "iller lies in ali!ornia, where he continues to !ollow the 7(oman (ule8: 7Those who donot )eliee a thing can )e done should get out o! the wa& o! those who are doing it.8 He is an actie



participant in the parenting o! his three children, and spends inordinate amounts o! time loing thenatural world. Dr. "iller practices mind/)od& medicine in the Ba& Area o! ali!ornia and in the %ierra0oothills, conducts trainings !or health pro!essionals and la& audiences, and lectures throughout thecountr& and a)road. 0or more in!ormation, to arrange !or an appointment, !or a schedule o! upcomingeents, or to )ook Dr. "iller !or &our group, call @CI G9K/CK9 or @CI G9K/CIC. +r, !ax @CI G9K/

CI. +ther up/to/date in!ormation can )e !ound at Dr. "illers We) Page: www.Doc"iller.com.

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Deep Healing_ the Essence of Mi - Emmett Miller

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Transcript of Deep Healing_ the Essence of Mi - Emmett Miller