December’s Dues and January’s Blues

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And so with the frost and snow closing on in around Bristol, we huddle round fireplaces, try to think warm thoughts and kiss goodbye to the year that was 2010. It was a year that saw such fantastic events as a long-overdue scorching Glasto, Banksy’s first film (now Oscar shortlisted), another packed Mayfest and banging Brisfest, Invisible Circus had one more rally with Carnyville 4, Bristol grew an aquarium and an 80ft TV for the World Cup and just down the road, Weston-Super-Mare got a brand spanking new pier! Long let this frivolity continue then, even in the new year when we’re all trying to cure those Christmas meat sweats and NYE hangovers. Don’t let the January blues take hold, there still plenty of excellent nights on going on in Bristol if you’re brave enough to face the outdoors and embrace 2011!

Transcript of December’s Dues and January’s Blues

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December’s Dues and January’s Blues/And so with the frost and snow closing on in around Bristol, we huddle round fireplaces, try to think warm thoughts and kiss goodbye to the year that was 2010. It was a year that saw such fantastic events as a long-overdue scorching Glasto, Banksy’s first film (now Oscar shortlisted), another packed Mayfest and banging Brisfest, Invisible Circus had one more rally with Carnyville 4, Bristol grew an aquarium and an 80ft TV for the World Cup and just down the road, Weston-Super-Mare got a brand spanking new pier! Long let this frivolity continue then, even in the new year when we’re all trying to cure those Christmas meat sweats and NYE hangovers. Don’t let the January blues take hold, there still plenty of excellent nights on going on in Bristol if you’re brave enough to face the outdoors and embrace 2011!

December 2010/January 2011 sees the twenty-second issue of SY On The Sly, the sister publication of Suit Yourself Magazine – Bristol’s number one independent, quarterly magazine which investigates, uncovers and promotes everything that makes Bristol such a fun, vibrant and altogether amazing place to live!

Read away and don’t forget to check out the latest issue of Suit Yourself Magazine, our listings service and our constantly updated blog, all found at:www.suityourselfmagazine.co.ukwww.bristollistings.co.uk

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Contents/3/ December’s Dues and January’s Blues

9/ Auntie Harper

36/ Horoscopes by Mystic Ginger

A Sly look back at November12/ The best of Gigs22/ The best of Stage

A Sly look forward at December and January30/ Recommended Gigs31/ Recommended Art32/ Recommended Club33/ Recommended Stage45/ Recommended Cinema

For those of you pretending to work, you can also read the magazine online atwww.suityourselfmagazine.co.ukwww.bristollistings.co.uk

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Keep Your WheelsIs your favourite mode of transport a scooter, moped or motorbike? If so, keepyourwheels.com could make you £100 better off this time next year. How come?

Well, keepyourwheels.com is one of those rare websites which actually gives you money – no joke! Imagine receiving a lovely cheque and what you could spend that cash on.

How does it work? It’s so easy. Simply, register your name and details at keepyourwheels.com to become a member. After that there are five simple steps to getting your cash;

Step1: Prove your roadworthiness – i.e. post, email, or photo message your paperwork to prove your legal. £20 credit.

Step2: Complete all 12 monthly quizzes – don’t worry even we got these right! £20 credit.

Step3: Get extra training – by booking a free keepyourwheels.com ‘One to One’ ride-out or by completing an advanced riding course and/or full licence. £20 credit.

Step4: Show us your skills on the track – attend a free keepyourwheels.com ‘Go-Karting’ session held during the year. £20 credit.

Step 5: Keep a clean licence for a 12 month period. £20 credit.

Keep Your Wheels

Don’t worry if you intend to go on to learn to drive a car, you can still take part so long as you’re aged 16-24 and live in Bristol, Bath & NE Somerset, South Glos or North Somerset. Numbers are limited so sign-up quick.

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auntie harperSY's Agony Aunt answers your questions?

1 - How old do you have to be before it’s uncool to still get Christmas

stockings from your parents? It’s never too old to get Christmas

stockings from your parents. When you’re dying for a wank at the end

of Christmas Day, there is nothing better than spuffing your load and

using your stockings to mop up the mess.

2 - How do I make my housemate do her share of the housework? It’s a

nightmare! Have a meeting with her and draw up a rota. Hopefully she’ll

be overly impressed with your organisational skills and offer to suck

you off.

3 - My girlfriend says I’m a pathetic waste of space. What Christmas

present can I give her to prove her wrong? I think you should finish

with her and on her way out, give her a Dirty Sanchez to remember you

by.

To put your queries to Auntie Harper’s sympathetic ear just email:

[email protected]

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Check out Suit Yourself Magazine, the sister publication of SY On The Sly. Suit Yourself Magazine is a free, quarterly printed magazine that has been going strong for over four years and can be found in every shop, cafe, pub, club, restaurant, hairdresser, gallery and venue all over Bristol!

Suit Yourself Magazine is an independent publication, a voice for all those young at heart, those interested in music, fashion, adventure, the arts, their environment and everything in between. A magazine which investigates, uncovers and promoters everything that makes Bristol such a fun, vibrant, and altogether amazing place to live.

Pick it up on the streets of Bristol or read back issues at:www.suityourselfmagazine.co.uk

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A SLY look back at November

Reviews of all the best gigs, art, clubs, stage and cinema over the last month in Bristol

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BellowheadWednesday 10th November 2010 @ Bristol Old Vic, Bristol

Well, I wasn’t expecting that! On a cold and murky night in November, wrapped up into a cycling blob of wool, I did not think that upon entering the Bristol Old Vic and a show by Bellowhead, that I would leave wanting to start social singing in my pub and learn to play the violin. I’m not sure that my local pub in Redland would appreciate my sing song efforts, but resolute in my mission to find a ‘social singing pub’, I cycled up Park Street (horrid!) very happy indeed.

This is because Bellowhead are epic. As soon as the eleven-piece band started, it was like being swished around by a giant wave in the ocean and then coming out of it in some sort of parallel world. I want to say nostalgic, because this is how I see ‘olde’ England; lots of vibrant head bouncing and clapping to the strings, percussion, horns, trumpet, sax - Wow! Excitable riotous antics! - all with the warm attribute of a welcoming embrace. However, these guys are more than nostalgia. They are a modern culmination of a variety of genres (soul, jazz, ska, 60s folk, classical) all performed with exceedingly likable charm. This allows for an exploration into music and its possibilities.

It also allows for Jon Boden, John Spiers and co’s vigorous singing and playing about strange animals, wizardry and prostitution. It’s done with a little glint in the eye and

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an elbow nudge, making these topics more than acceptable and very amusing. You feel yourself holding back a “Hoooo arrrgh!” as they announce the next song’s topic and go on to sing about whores. Blimey!

Bellowhead are very confident on stage too. Boden leads them on their whizz around their elation inducing music and they all respect and work together so well. It’s great to see the purposeful movements, belief in performance and joy they get from being there. It felt like watching a musical, Boden continuously raises up his arms, encouraging and symbolising the music’s hearty spirit, whilst everyone else dances around on stage. The lady next to me (who I had previously thought may be more on the reserved side) was enthusiastically singing and clapping along. By the end everyone was up out of their seats, clapping or moving their arms like conductors. It’s a live performance like I have never seen before. They thoroughly deserve their four BBC Best Live Folk Act awards.

www.bellowhead.co.uk

Helen Martin

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Jools HollandSaturday 13th November 2010 @ Colston Hall, Bristol

Jools Holland and his Rhythm and Blues Orchestra were never really going to disappoint to be honest; the band boasts so much talent each member would be more than capable of producing a great show all by themselves. Jools may be the first billed but this is far from a one man show. Entering the stage with all the presence and charisma that has populated and made his flagship BBC shows so popular, Jools is humble enough to present each of his band as well as giving the individual moments to shine and reigns praise upon them as they do so. Highlights include an incredibly technical drum solo and a saxophone duel, both earning standing ovations. Make no mistake, the band are the real stars here.

Performing in front of one of the largest back projection screens this writer has ever seen grace the boards of Colston Hall, it means each individual moment of brilliance is blown up and displayed for all to see. This is of course always best utilised when focused in on Jools’ hands dancing across the keys with such majesty, displaying exactly why he’s renowned as one of the best piano players our country or even the world has ever seen.

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With guest singers and performers all becoming part of Jools’ band tonight and the constant call and response rapport between the stage and the audience, this feels less like a concert and more like a party, or perhaps the most well rehearsed jam sessions you’ve been a part of.

Displaying he’s a man of many talents, Jools even wields a guitar for a bit of, as he calls it, “Boogie Woogie”. The band does however take a brief detour from the jam session vibe when they narrate a piece of animation following the adventures of a small bumble bee being harassed by various musical instruments – like a rhythm and blues Fantasia.

The real highlight of the night however comes with the guest appearance of one of the nation’s greatest female vocalists, Alison Moyet, whose tones are so unique and pleasurable to both the ears and the soul that my only criticism of the night can be that she only joins the orchestra for three numbers. Though this night does not belong to Alison but to the orchestra and the audience who react wildly and with aplomb at every inch perfect piece of musicianship, I only wish Ms. Moyet could have at least joined them for the encore.

www.joolsholland.com

Adam Hooper

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Skunk AnansieMonday 22nd November 2010 @ Academy, Bristol

During the 90s, Skunk Anansie were one of the most controversial and provocative rock bands this country had ever seen. After a nine year hiatus, they were back last year with a greatest hits album and a sell out tour that heralded a roaring return. This year their new album, Wonderlustre, has bought them back to the audiences that sorely missed them and also cemented the band in the hearts of new fans of all ages. I was lucky enough to catch up with Skin, Mark and Ace from the band before they were about to go on stage for their sold out gig at Bristol’s Academy. I asked what their return has meant to them: “It’s been amazing,” an excitable Ace speaks up, “every venue has been the same for us in terms of Skunk fans, they have all been real welcoming”. “When Skin asks who has seen us before, its great that nearly a third of the people put their hands up at our gigs…so many of them are converts,” Mark the drummer chuckles, his huge frame taking up a great deal of the sofa they all are reclining on.

When asked which of the old songs were the first they practiced when they reformed, Skin softly replies: “None of them. We wanted to go straight into writing new stuff. I think if we reformed and went back into just doing our old stuff that would bore me to tears. I think we all would be bored to tears. We want to move forward knowing that we could still write songs like we used to. That way we can honour the old songs but keep growing as a band, the new songs sound a lot more futuristic.”

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Having been a massive fan of Skunk Anansie for years, I asked the band if there was any chance of a b-sides album: “You must be joking, aren’t you?” Skin laughs, “they were bloody awful!” she quips jokingly. Ace mentions the fact that they were going to give a b-sides album away as a freebie with Smashes & Trashes (the greatest hits album) but is quickly corrected by Mark: “No, no. YOU wanted to put a b-sides album together, Ace, but when you bought the list to us, we crossed nearly each one off,” and with that they both gave Ace a bop on the head with empty water bottles. It was so nice to see the band joking and arguing with one another in front of me like that, you could see they really enjoyed each others’ company. Cut to over an hour later and the band are on stage in theatrical feathers and huge black coats opening with Yes It’s Fucking Political to thunderous screams from the crowd. As a live band, they are one of the tightest, most visually powerful four people I have ever seen on stage. Skin’s voice is absolutely perfect on every song with rawness and softness in equal measure. They spoil the crowd with a two hour set including all their hits like Twisted and I Can Dream. Songs from Wonderlustre shone through and were sang back to the band just as much as any of the old tunes. The best song of the night being God Loves Only You which now has its own t-shirt!

The highlight of the gig was not only Skin’s infamous ‘crowd walk’ during Weak where she was literally standing on peoples hands, but for the final song she came into the middle of the audience and after getting the crowd to crouch, she made everyone throw her up into the air into a crowd surf as the song kicked back. It was one of those ‘I was there’ moments that no one at that gig will ever forget. It’s safe to say it’s good to have Skunk Anansie back. It’s about time a band in the UK shook things up a bit.

www.skunkanansie.net

Stu Freeman

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Beach HouseWednesday 24th November 2010 @ Trinity Centre, Bristol

I looked up the weather for the next week and it’s all 3 degrees this and -2 degrees that. The layers are permanently hanging about, insulating or being annoying on floors or draped over arms. The days of the profit making cloakroom are back. In short, it’s cold. Hence a night out with Beach House could not come at a more suitable time. These two from Baltimore, Maryland, USA, however, are more dramatic and melancholy than their name may suggest. They are electro-dream-pop, with a dark and hypnotic edge.

There was a fear that Beach House may not have been able to transcend from the cosy living room/early hours summer soiree, to the live stage. Well, there was no need for any anxieties about this. They have their own styled, very polished performance down. As soon as the notes were hit, there was an immediate wafting of unselfconscious electro pastel coloured pop.

French born, Victoria Legrand produces the sounds of vocals and organ. She is the striding, confident femme fatale. With her long, dark curly hair she swipes, swooshes, ducks and flicks. Her fringe set over her face, she bends down into her keyboard at the end of each song. Alex Scally in contrast predominantly remains seated, playing the guitar delicately and beautifully, adorning the audience with polite thank yous. Interestingly, he was not a guitarist before Beach House and taught himself, which is why he says, he can play exactly how he wants with no preconceived notions about the role of guitar. Together they work as a flamboyant, thinking, sultry and exciting creation.

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Norway started the flashing, pretty star lights. Timed with Legrand’s high breathy sounds, it was a gorgeously moody, punchy performance. Legrand, although quiet with the banter was devoted in her performance, nearly tipping over her keyboard at one point. The Trinity got the sound just right too, it was just the right side of blasting.

Other highlights included Zebra and 10 Mile Stereo, so precise and yet liberating in its running notes and Legrand’s deep, vulnerable vocals. The lights continued sparkling throughout the show, with the final song ending in an explosion of flashing, noise and whimsical mayhem.

www.beachhousebaltimore.com

Helen Martin

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VesselsThursday 18th November 2010 @ The Bierkeller, BristolWith Support From: Austere, Hello Lazarus, Stuart Warwick Vessels waits patiently like a Zen master before blowing our minds. Austere, however lucked out they may have been when the set times were handed out, gave a competent and intentionally eerie atmospheric warm-up to a gig pregnant with expectation. Often described as prog-rock, at a push the mute collection of hirsute Hammets’ sound was reminiscent of an early Metallica with Fade To Black springing to mind. However, their set was more memorable for its lack of purpose (apart from that of setting a brooding atmosphere) than individuality. Not many bands have the balls to place talent before popularity, and fewer still can make it work.

Okay, so next up those present are reborn (excuse the pun) as the energetic triumvirate, Hello Lazarus, take to the stage. Mountains of amplification tower formidably and the bassist and lead vocalist seem impatient for these to ‘go up to eleven’ as they fling themselves around the stage with abandon, not forgetting the all-important back to back axe grinding. This all seems well and good but their solid hooks, message and tunes are a bit drowned out by an extravagance of technology.

Having no idea what to expect next, we get Stuart Warwick perched alone gloomily and dispiritingly waxing lyrical on some mundane subject that even he doesn’t seem that interested by, let alone the crowd that has to sit through it in the hope that he gains a conscience. The wait was not in vain my friends…

Vessels blew the place apart with a set forged in the single-minded need for release, an escape from the mundane, the cold and the dreary. For those 45 minutes every single member of the audience was riding a tsunami of building, crashing full-on digital post-punk rock deviancy. Vessels seeming almost telepathic in their timing, leave a crowd exhausted yet satisfied.

www.myspace.com/vesselsband

Guy WaddingtonPhotos by Laura Palmer

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CrocosmiaTuesday 2nd until Saturday 13th November 2010 @ The Brewery, Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

Crocosmia, a play by theatre company Little Bulb, is lightning fast, hysterically funny, exceptionally charming, superbly inventive and incredibly engrossing. It is also a play fundamentally about death and tragic loss. The Brackenburg children (10-year-old twins Finley and Sophia, and Freya, seven and three quarters) have prematurely lost their parents. As responsibly for their care is handed back and forth out of their control and understanding, the siblings retreat into a world of vivid imagination as they try to grasp who and where they are in the world and fill the hole in their lives left by their parents.

Such emotive themes can often put an audience on guard as thing can easily turn morbid and overly sentimental and they fear being manipulated but Little Bulb’s subtle sideways take on the subject is genuinely refreshing and undeniably powerful. Everything we see is through the eyes of the Brackenburg children and the playful, ramshackle nature of the piece puts you in mind of the sort of plays children put on in their front rooms for their families. Music is changed frantically, toys are thrown around, water and cake is spilled liberally all over the stage and the company seem to chaotically be making it up as they go along but this is no fluke. Behind their wide eyes, fidgeting feet and curious grins are three very intelligent, perceptive and astute performers with a superb attention to detail.

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Little Bulb recent won over many, many plaudits at Edinburgh Fringe with their latest show, Operation Greenfield, and although Crocosmia is a couple of years old now and doesn’t quite reach the euphoric highs of their newest work, it is still a fantastically fun show with real heart and a perfect introduction to this wonderfully exciting young theatre company.

www.littlebulbtheatre.com

Matt Whittle

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Peppatits with Jessica Hynes and Julia DavisThursday 4th November 2010 @ Bristol Old Vic, Bristol

There has been a real buzz around the Bristol Old Vic over the last ten days and it’s all down to the fact that the theatre is currently hosting the second ever Bristol Jam, the UK’s only festival of improvised performance. Browsing the packed festival programme you will see a wealth of improvised performances from musicians, singers and actors but one show that always stood out was when the comedy masterminds of Jessica Hynes and Julia Davies were to put their heads together live on stage. Tonight is the night then and, as befitting two of the UK’s biggest cult stars (they are the brains behind hit offbeat comedy TV shows like Spaced and Nighty Night), the Bristol Old Vic is fit to burst. Everyone is here for some on-the-spot improvised character interaction as the twosome recreate their darkly comic radio show, Peppatits.

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Casually dressed, Hynes and Davis walk out onstage to a rapturous applause and with only a gentle wave of recognition, we are straight into a run of wonderfully funny, improvised conversations between a series of comedic, often dark, but very subtly observed and real characters. It was fascinating to watch the two onstage as they sat around a small table, not only for the spontaneous humour they provoked but also for the way they were able to conjure time after time these well rounded, interesting characters that bounced off one another so fluidly. During our hour and a half in their company, we were treated to such creations as some Danish conceptual artists, two middle-aged women who had both been stood up for their dates, a overzealous and frankly creepy man who was suspiciously desperate to flat share with a young girl and, my personal favourite, two Scottish daytime TV chefs whose recipes included such ingredients as bitterness, resentment and hatred.

The audience were engrossed throughout and Hynes and Davis seemed to be having a great time too as they occasionally pushed each other with sudden turns in their conversations. I could have watched their natterings for hours but it all had to come to an end eventually and as the audience again erupted in applause, the pair left showing the same humility with which they had entered. It was a thoroughly entertaining night out and a wonderful example of the sort of thing you would not get to watch anywhere else in Bristol any other time, and all thanks to the Bristol Jam!

www.bristoljam.ning.com

Matt Whittle

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The Wild PartyThursday 11th until Sunday 21st November 2010 @ Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

In The Wild Party, we have a means to drink throughout the Alcohol Prohibition; it was a place where anything could happen.

Cigarettes alight with vigor, smoke filling the bar. It’s foggy in there with the allure of mystery and romance, accompanied by a smooth soundtrack. 1930s New York is a sultry and cool place to be. People are dry in their wit. Slinky Gatsby overindulgence skips next to Evelyn Waugh’s satirical novels, laughing at frivolity. It was in 1931 that Aldous Huxley wrote of a ruined, emotionless humanity in Brave New World, amongst pioneering architecture, gender politics and Fordism, but it was the stylish young people who were dominating the scene. London called this set; The Bright Young People. The characters in The Wild Party may be more underground than these high profile, elaborate shin-diggers but as The Bristol Old Vic Theatre School beautifully shows, they were no less glamorous, and never far from corruption.

We find many of The Wild Party’s characters from within New York’s spinning, raunchy burlesque quarters of the Bowery District. Here, they are having a ball. The Great Depression has hit its lowest point but the burlesque world is thriving. The audience are blinded by silver headbands, satin, gin and feathers and are presided on by master of the ceremony, our cheesy MC (played by Bart Edwards), working alongside the piano’s almost constant notes and the actor’s own narrations of themselves. The show flows seamlessly, ensuring you keep track of the pace and enthralling you from the outset.

The Wild Party we attend is hosted by Queenie (played by Grace Carter), the glorious and adored blonde, and her boyfriend, Burrs, a cruel clown (played by Ali Watt). Carter is splendid and alluring

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as she marches and slinks about on stage, her eyes penetrate the mid-distance as she pouts and writhes, whilst Watt plays Burrs as appropriately scary and silly. Mister Black (Michael Marcus-Morgan), the gorgeously well bred man, could have benefitted from a little more purpose in his voice and movements to be the more of the smooth knight I wanted him to be; however, his latter scenes held the passion required.

Undoubtedly the characters’ entrances to the party had to be the highlight of the show. All the cast managed to demonstrate their powerful singing voices and stage presence. They clearly adored performing their parts and it was nothing short of fabulous. So very dramatic and hilarious; from Phil and Oscar, the gay couple, to Dolores the Spanish singer with the deep voice and Kate, Queenie’s man eating rival - everyone embraced their character whole heartedly.

The Wild Party really is a fun and enjoyable jaunt, full of feathers and flounce, but with a serious side regarding sexual discrimination, violence and desires. It’s a spotlight on a highly charged underground scene that I can imagine will grow brighter with each performance.

www.tobaccofactorytheatre.com

Helen Martin

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A SLY look forward at December/January

Previews of all the best gigs, art, clubs, stage and cinema coming up next month in Bristol

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The Human LeagueFriday 3rd December 2010 @ Colston Hall, Bristol

Johnny FlynnThursday 9th December 2010 @ Trinity Centre, Bristol

Angus And Julia StoneSaturday 11th December 2010 @ Trinity Centre, Bristol

Christmas Carol ConcertSunday 12th December 2010 @ Bristol Old Vic, Bristol

Pete RoeMonday 13th December 2010 @ Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

The BeesTuesday 14th December 2010 @ Thekla, Bristol

Belle And SebastianThursday 16th December 2010 @ Colston Hall, Bristol

PepinoFriday 17th December 2010 @ The Cube, Bristol

SheelanagigMonday 20th December 2010 @ Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

BabyheadFriday 31st December 2010 @ Fiddlers, Bristol

Thin LizzySunday 16th January 2010 @ Colston Hall, Bristol

The WalkmenFriday 21st January 2011 @ Trinity centre, Bristol

Recommended Gigs For December and January in Bristol

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Recommended Art For December and January In Bristol

The So What Collective Winter CollectionSaturday 10th until Wednesday 14th December 2010 @ Centrespace Gallery, BristolThe ‘So What’ collective returns to Centrespace with their Winter Collection. This is a diverse group covering a wide range of disciplines including painting, printing, photography and glass work.www.centrespacegallery.com

Inbetween Time FestivalWednesday 1st until Sunday 5th December 2010 @ Arnolfini and Other Venues, BristolInbetween Time Festival 2010 is an adventurous, breakneck festival of performative intrigue taking over the streets, sites and arts spaces of Bristol this December. Live, dance, digital, music, architectural and sculptural works by 130 artists from as far a field as Mexico, Australia, Austria, Germany, Kurdistan, Belgium and the US will be pervading all across the city in venues such as The Cube, Circomedia, Wickham Theatre, Bristol Old Vic and Bridewell Island, with the festival’s hub being Arnolfini.www.inbetweentime.co.uk

Jamaica Street Artists Present The Art BoxWednesday 1st until Friday 24th December 2010 @ The Showroom, The Art Box, Park Street, BristolJamaica Street Artists will be providing an alternative treat for shoppers on Bristol’s busy Park Street this Christmas with the opening of their pop-up shop and gallery; The Art Box. Pop-up shops and temporary galleries have become an international trend and Bristol City Council has joined the movement by offering empty shop units to arts and cultural organisations across Bristol. Jamaica Street Artists have secured a term in The Showroom.www.jamaicastreetartists.co.uk

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Recommended Clubbing for December and January 2010 In Bristol

PressureEvery Thursday @ Thekla, Bristol

PropagandaEvery Wednesday @ Syndicate, Bristol

RamshackleEvery Friday @ Academy, Bristol

Shit The BedSaturday 4th December 2010 @ Motion, Bristol

Micro_Rave: Level 14: Crazy Comets!!!Saturday 11th December 2010 @ Bridewell Island, Bristol

Sink Ships 7: The Alternative Christmas Knees UpThursday 16th December 2010 @ Timbuk2, Bristol

Pop Confessional: The Great Flood NYE All-NightFriday 31st December 2010 @ Thekla, Bristol

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Recommended Stage For December and January in BristolSwallows And AmazonsWednesday 1st December 2010 until Saturday 15th January 2011 @ Bristol Old Vic, Bristol

Boing!Tuesday 7th December 2010 until Sunday 9th January 2011 @ Bristol Old Vic, Bristol

The Adventures of PinocchioWednesday 8th December 2010 until Sunday 16th January 2011 @ Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

Dick WittingtonSaturday 11th December 2010 until Sunday 9th January 2011 @ Bristol Hippodrome, Bristol

Adam BuxtonSunday 12th December 2010 @ Start The Bus, Bristol

Peter Clifford: I Can’t Believe My MindTuesday 14th December 2010 until Sunday 9th January 2011 @ The Brewery, Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

Under Milk Wood: Live On AirTuesday 11th until Saturday 29th January 2011 @ The Brewery, Tobacco Factory Theatre, Bristol

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Recommended Cinema For December and January In Bristol

A Christmas TaleFriday 17th until Thursday 23rd December 2010 @ Watershed, BristolIn the Finnish Arctic the original Santa Claus (the wild, dangerous one with a tendency to kidnap naughty children) is coming to town. When all the local children go missing only nine-year-old Pietari has any idea what is really happening and it’s up to him to defend his friends from the evil demon and a small army of evil, naked old elves. A deliciously dark, funny, alternative Christmas fantasy that evokes the spirit of 1980s kids’ fantasy films, the kind that balanced both genuine scares and thrilling adventure for all ages.www.watershed.co.uk

Wings Of DesireMonday 13th until Thursday 16th December 2010 @ The Cube, BristolBecause it’s Christmas...Guardian angels, the most magical city in Europe, a story of love. The story of what it is to be human, alive - the history of man in the universe and his ultimate loneliness, of how that loneliness is evidence of humanity of the soul and just cause to look for happiness in sharing it. The romance of the travelling circus. A poem to a city, to love. Berlin divided and beautiful.www.microplex.cubecinema.com

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Sagittarius: Your lucky resolution this New Year – drop it like it’s hot. Yeah, work it! Woooooork it! Damn, you make Mystic crazy! You want a ride on my broomstick?

Capricorn: Your lucky resolution this New Year – tell your loved ones how special they are. In your head, obv. None of them want to talk to you, and Mystic doesn’t blame them.

Aquarius: Your lucky resolution this New Year – keep fit. You can still wiggle your feet about, and even though no one will hear you, try banging on the inside of the lid again, just for the exercise.

Pisces: Your lucky resolution this New Year – diet. What did you just eat, three grapes? Go and throw up right now, you piggy. Try to thin your bones down too, you’re making everyone sick.

Aries: Your lucky resolution this New Year – work on your relationship. Try actually coming out from behind the hedge. Wait! Pull your pants up first. Jeeeez!

Taurus: Your lucky resolution this New Year – drink less. If you lick all the droplets off the big rock, then what will you do? You will have to hope there’s water further in. There must be – all those bats must be drinking something.

Gemini: Your lucky resolution this New Year – stand up for yourself. Stop doing everything for

others, Gemini. Say, get your own bottle! Wipe your own botty! Get yourself out of the bath! Feels good, right? Don’t worry if they drown, that’s normal.

Cancer: Your lucky resolution this New Year – spend less money. Obviously you still have to buy things you need; food, toiletries, Faberge eggs, liposuction and Olga’s living allowance. Cut back on loo-roll.

Leo: Your lucky resolution this New Year – give up smoking. Either set yourself on fire properly or just don’t bother. No one respects a ditherer.

Virgo: Your lucky resolution this New Year – make new friends. I know this can be difficult but just try talking to new people. You remember talking? It’s that thing you do to yourself. No, not that thing! Ew.

Libra: Your lucky resolution this New Year – change your pants. Look, if Mystic thought there was any point suggesting anything more ambitious she would. But let’s be realistic, even new pants is pushing it.

Scorpio: Your lucky resolution this New Year – be yourself. If you want to sit in the middle of the office, working your way through an entire family bucket of chicken and wiping your hands on your hair, just do it.

Page 38: December’s Dues and January’s Blues

SY On The Sly – December/JanuaryEditor: Matt Whittle / [email protected] Editor: Faye Westrop / [email protected] and Illustration: James Penfold & Louisa Christadoulou / [email protected]

Front Cover: Joe Roberts www.josephrobertsillustration.co.uk

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without the permission of Suit Yourself Magazine.

Suit Yourself Magazine and SY On The Sly are independent publications distributed throughout Bristol.

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Contributors for Issue:

Anna Freeman, Stu Freeman, James Harper, Adam Hooper, Helen Martin, Laura Palmer, Joe Roberts, Guy Waddington, Matt Whittle