Dealing with

Conflict

chapter 12chapter 12

Behaviors when dealing with a diversity of people:

PassiveBehavior

AggressiveBehavior

Passive-AggressiveBehavior

AssertiveBehavior

Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Speakers:

Passive speakers: Use self-limiting qualifying expressions without stating their position / needs

Assertive speakers: State their position / needs without violating the rights of others

Aggressive speakers: State their position / needs while violating the rights of others using “you-messages” and absolutes

Assertive Behavior

Generally the most productive behaviorUsually the most effective method of

getting what you want while not taking advantage of others

Being assertive can create a win-win situation

Assertiveness Steps

Step 1. Set an Objective:Specify what you want to accomplish

Step 2. Determine how to create a win-win situation:Assess the situation in terms of meeting your

needs and the other person’s needsStep 3. Develop an assertive phrase(s)Step 4. Implement your plan persistently

Anger and Violence in the Workplace

Human resources managers have reported increased violence between employeesWomen commit nearly 25 percent of all threats

or attacksViolence between outsiders and

employees is increasing1 million workers are assaulted every yearAnger can lead to violence

Causes of Anger and Violence

Intrapersonal causes:e.g., frustration, stress, and fear

Interpersonal unresolved conflictsPhysical work environment:

e.g., space to work, noise, odors, temperature, ventilation, and color

Hostile work environment

Dealing with Your Anger

Use rational thinkingLook for positivesLook for the humor in the situation to help

defuse the angerUse assertive behaviorDevelop a positive attitude about how you

deal with angerUse an anger journal

Dealing with Anger of Others (1 of 2)

Never make any type of putdown statement

Don’t respond to anger and threats with the same behavior

Don’t give orders or ultimatumsWatch your nonverbal communication

Dealing with Anger of Others (2 of 2)

Realize that anger is natural and encourage people to vent in appropriate ways

Acknowledge the person’s feelingsGet away from the person if necessary

Signs of Potential Violence

Take verbal threats seriously

Watch nonverbal communication

Watch for stalking and harassment

Watch for damage to property

• Watch for indications of alcohol and drug use

• Include the isolated employee

• Look for the presence of weapons or objects that might be used as weapons

Organizational Prevention of Violence (1 of 2)

Train all employees to deal with anger and prevent violenceA written policy addressing workplace violenceBest preventive policy is a zero-tolerance policy

Quick disciplinary action against employees who are violent at work

Managers need to avoid using aggression at work

Organizational Prevention of Violence (2 of 2)

Organizations can screen job applicants for past or potential violence

Develop a good work environment that addresses the issues as causes of violence

Individual Prevention of Violence

Look for escalating frustration and anger to defuse the situation before it becomes violent

Never be alone with a potentially violent personNever stand between the person and the exitKnow when to get away from the person

Be aware of the organization’s policy for calling in security help

Report any troubling incidents to security staff

Conflict

Exists whenever two or more parties are in disagreement

Is inherent in an organizational systemCan increase as the workforce becomes

more diverseDealing with it is part of emotional

intelligence

Reasons for Conflict

Communications problems or conflicts arise for three primary reasons:

1. We fail to make our expectations known to other parties

2. We fail to find out the expectations of other parties

3. We assume that the other parties have the same expectations that we have

Conflict Has Benefits

Conflict can be beneficialA balance of conflict is essential to all

organizationsToo little or too much conflict is usually

considered a sign of management’s unwillingness or inability to adapt to a diversified environment

Conflict can lead to improved performance, for example:Challenging present methodsPresenting innovative change

Conflict Management Styles

Exhibit 7.4

Summary of Conflict Management Styles

Forcing Conflict Style: User attempts to resolve conflict by using aggressive behavior

Avoiding Conflict Style: User attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it

Accommodating Conflict Style:

User attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving in to the other party

Compromising Conflict Style:

User attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give-and-take concessions

Collaborating Conflict Style:

User assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties.The problem-solving style

Roles in Conflict Resolution

Initiator

Responder

Mediator

Initiating Conflict Resolution

Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model

Step 2. Implement your plan persistently

Step 3. Make an agreement for change

The XYZ Model

The XYZ model describes a problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings:

“When you do X (behavior),

Y (consequences) happens,

and I have Z (feelings).”

Responding to Conflict Resolution

Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model

Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint

Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative solutions

Step 4. Make an agreement for change

Mediating Conflict Resolution

Step 1. Have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model

Step 2. Agree on the problem(s)

Step 3. Develop alternative solutions

Step 4. Make an agreement for change and follow up

Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (1 of 3)

People with the same personality type tend to get along better and have less conflict than those with different personality types

If you have a high surgency personality –watch your use of the critical parent ego statebe sure to give lots of positive strokes to help

human relationsbe careful not to use aggressive behavior to get

what you want

Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (2 of 3)

If you have a high agreeableness personality,you tend to get along well with othersbe careful not to use the sympathetic parent ego

statewatch the appropriate use of the child ego state

Adjustment – is about how well you deal with your emotionsespecially anger

Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (3 of 3)

There is a relationship between adjustment and openness to experienceIf you are not well adjusted, you are probably not

open to experience

If you are a high conscientious personality, you can still transact from the parent or child ego state