De stressing exams

Content by @innov8tor3 (c) Blue Oyster Leading Edge Solns 2015

De-StressingEducation & Exams

Pre-GCSE Support forTeens and Parents

By

Peter M C JonesOf

Blue Oyster Community Support


Objectives

● Understand stress first to be able to tackle it

● Try to see education in a different light

● Try to see exams in a different light

● Finding ways to allow “external help”

● Knowing what school already offers

● Build an ability to de-stress in your life


Timetable

● Different education & exam perspectives

● Your “stress perspective” today

● Some benefits from education

● How does education help after school?

● How to manage exams? Teachers? Parents?

● Is your perspective different now?


Current Stress Levels

● What emotions cause us stress?

– Lengthy disagreement, difficulties, anger

– Avoidance – sometimes others perceive this as laziness or selfishness

– Sadness, anxiety, depression

● Straw poll of current stress “in the room” - your views

– Stress with “school study”

– Stress with “home study” and revision

– Stress from friends

– Stress from parents

– Stress on social media

● Compare educational stress vs life events

– Chronic stress is emotionally exhausting


Our Fear of QualificationsView 1

● Parental View

– My child grows at their own pace

– Somehow our child must try to fit the system

– Parents worry about their kids' future

– The education system does work, but not 100%

● Parental Fears

– My child could struggle to support themselves


Our Fears of QualificationsView 2

● Educational View - External

– Children must take qualifications at fixed ages

– Children must fit the education system by law

– Kids' futures can only be secured through education

– Alternative education systems are much harder

● Establishment Fears

– Teachers will be judged on their own performance

– Children leaving the system could be damaged

– Kids from outside the system are harder to manage


●

– Children must have a roadmap showing capability

– Children must show recognised qualifications

– Employees must show potential in their journey

– Alternative education systems are suspicious

● Employer Fears (aka Concerns)

– Children from outside the system could be difficult

– Business performance could be damaged


Our Fears of QualificationsView 4 – Your View

● Student View

– Roadmap milestones are hyped, therefore stressful

– Choosing recognised qualifications is hard

– Exam stress overshadows the “educational journey”

– Alternative education systems are invisible

● Student Fears – What Students “Hear”

– Being outside the education system is “difficult”

– Without zillulating qualifications, employers “won't want us”

– Other students stressing is itself stressful

● Parent vs Student Role Play: Choose a Partner, Swap


Exercise - Repetitive Stress

● How many times a week do you hear:

– GCSEs

– Future

– Education

– Knowledge

● The future is unknown, and could be scary

● Decisions we make now have future impact

● The past is known, comfortable, cannot change


Educational Benefits

● Educators work very hard supporting diversity

● Supported learning means faster growth

● We don't have to re-invent the wheel

– We can instead stand on the shoulders of giants

– But can ourselves produce light bulb moments

● Education is a gift in Africa & Asia

● Straw Poll: How Good is UK Education?

● Straw Poll: How Do We Compare to the US?

● It's always ours, can't be taken away

● Educators can provide other helpful references


Self-Educational Benefits

● Nothing new scares us, we grow as and when we want

● We have control of our own lives, we can accept diversity

● We can re-invent the wheel if we want to

– And we can help others, who may see us as creative giants

● We can help those less fortunate eg in Africa & Asia

● We appreciate our education system, want to make it even better

● We also want to help others self-educate

● We can use social referencing in a connected world

– Qualifications, or lack of, recede into the past

● None of the above are a given, they all take hard work


Is Self-Education “Selfish”

● We can apply learning as we wish

– Yes, we could use it purely for our own ends

– We could help employers by taking a job

– We could help needy people in the job we choose

● Parents may not have had a good education

– At times, they may even be a tiny bit jealous

– OU Case Study: The teacher of deaf children


Can We View Exams “Selfishly”?

● Sitting an exam can seem “judgemental”

– Other people can make decisions as a result

● It is also our marker to how well we are doing

– It is our guide to our abilities, others may try to help

– Exams can help us decide easier future paths

● eg I should drop maths after GCSEs


When Should We Choose Easier Paths?

● Are we lazy to choose “easier paths”?

– It's easy for others to talk about “tough decisions”

– It's less scary to take an easier path, often “more effective”

– Decision paralysis means we can't move on, get stuck

– Decisions can always be revisited, even “big ones”

– Building up to be tough is a fantastic life skill, but a hard one

– We are the only ones who can, or should, manage our lives

● Others may label us lazy or selfish

– Have they taken the time to drill down and really understand?

● How good is their “self education”? How rushed are they?

– Equally, have you taken the time with them?


Transition to Self Education

● Plan A – At School: “Going to University”

– Fear driven, irritation with parents, no Plan B

– Works for most people, gives us tools & attitudes

● Plan B – You: Self-Led Learning

– Our Darwinian explorer instinct

– New is interesting, exciting, unknown

– Change: to be embraced if participative, scary if imposed

● Outcome: You know how to learn on your own

– Some entrepreneurs leave education early...

● Careers Advisor Role Play: Discuss Student Future, Swap


Lifelong Self Education

● Beyond university, beyond employment, life long

– The best gift we can ever give ourselves and others

● Understanding our own preferences and interests

● Passion drives initial learning for four generic types:

– Results, Communication, People, Design

– Press stories “discover” your passion, what gets you going

– Entrepreneurs must cover all areas and disciplines

– Employees can concentrate in one area

– Myers Briggs built a model to explain, much adapted

– Richard St John analysis: Passion + 7 other factors help success


Failure & Self-Learning: Are WeFearful, Tolerant or Adaptive?

● Failure tolerance: 80% success or 20% failure?

– WWW -> EBI? - A life skill to use with kids & adults

● We can use fear of failure to improve outcomes:

–

–

–

–

–

● Mistakes can be rectified, paralysis stops progress


How Else Can We View Exams Positively?

● Exams (and resumes) show our historic progress

– Not where we are now, or our plan for where we are going

– Exams are one indication, often not that accurate

● More enlightened employers know that, and are more visible

● But too many still use simplistic judgemental approaches

● Take a hindsight, “roadmap” or timeline perspective

– Exams are only an early staging post in a long life

– Exams can't change our future, we can

– Self-education is more important to a successful life

– Depth of knowledge means more than qualifications

● Stress Counselling RP: Reassure Fears & Worries, Swap


What About Teachers? And Parents?

● Teacher are our guides and human beings

– They can help guide you through core subjects

– Core subjects allow you choice later in life

– Style can sometimes obscure rather than illuminate

● Parents want to help you achieve

– They want the best for their kids' future

– Their stress and busyness can often be transmitted to you

– Sometimes via their offspring, your friends

– They have mostly not been trained in education

– They don't know subject syllabus, or how to convey it

– They do have life and self-education skills they'd like to share


Do Teachers & ParentsGet Stressed?

● Teachers want to do well at their job

– Meaning pupils who do well in exams

– And pupils who don't get stressed

● Parents want you to make progress

– To learn the disciplines you need to be able to learn

– To learn can do attitudes that helped them succeed

● When this doesn't happen?

– Teachers and parents get stressed

– Some cope better than others

– Support is not always available for teachers and parents


How to Help Teachers and Parents

● Don't assume either are “auto-numpties”

– Doing their best, often learning themselves

– Teaching experience is very hard won

– Parenting is a lifelong job, and is different again to teaching

● Don't assume all their advice is rubbish

– Do concentrate on your own self-education, the discipline you need

– What can you use? What helps you face or endure difficulties?

● Reassure them: try to tell them where their advice works

– And remind them you are growing up, they could let go a little

– And that you need to start making your own decisions

– Be willing to ask them if you don't understand something

– Most parents want to make some contribution to your life skills

● Numpty Role Play: Reassure Stressed Teacher or Parent, Swap


Try to Access School or External Support

● Most schools offer:

– Study groups, revision classes, online resources

– One to one teaching wherever possible

– A level of internal stress counselling

– Direction to external stress or family counselling

● Most schools try to:

– Work with parents to assess progress and stress

● You may need to know what help there is

– Your self-education may need it to help cope with stress


Keywords & “Translation” Thinking

● Education? Think of your self-education

● Exams? Think “historic”, “roadmap”, “guide” ....

● Stress? Think of their self-education, even when parents!

● Your Future? Think of your self-learning

● Study Support? Think “shoulders of giants”

● 1:2:1 Support? Think “accelerated learning”

● Employers? Think “simplification”, look for “diversity”

● Tidy Your Room? Think self-discipline & time management

● Not Listening? Think “baby, bathwater” & try to reassure

● Lazy, Selfish? They mean “I don't understand”


Recap

● Self-education, personal development, is your true goal

● Teachers and parents are trying to help, even some employers

● Remember the different perspectives at play

● Don't throw the baby (motivation) out with the bath water (words)

● You control the elements you select, it's your future

● Keep doors open until you know what you want

● A good education precisely helps you keep doors open

● Looking back, exams are just a simplistic time-bound guide

● Enlightened employers know there is more to life and people

● Use keywords to translate rushed or thoughtless comment


Vote on Learning Received

● Do you feel....

– More able to look favourably on education?

– More able to have some perspective with exams?

– Clearer about your own self-education?

– More confident about asking others for help?

– More understanding about other people's stress?

– More able to de-stress dialogue using keyword replacement?

– Overall more able to be cooler in stressful situations?

● And finally....

– Thanks for your participation and support

De stressing exams

Healthcare

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