COURTIER'S SPEECH

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Donald Thomas COURTIER’S SPEECH Who was the King ? The King was a man Prone to turn turtle in a purple rage And cleave the neck-bone Of the nearest sycophant With the nearest cleaver. What of the King’s mirth ? The King was his own jester. A wag With a born flair For the practical possibility Of lobster-men boiled in their baths, Or the trick board to spring them To a spiked pit. Not a dry eye in the whole house. What were the King’s lusts ? Rape was his aphrodisiac to murder. As he rode by, the flames of our homes Lit the skewered bellies of wives and daughters. Our senile parents danced like whores To win reprieve. Being a married man himself, He knew, when seeking information, The true value of family relationships. What was the manner of the King’s death ? A whole peacock in his strangled belly. And what after he died? In his will he gave his gardens to the people For their recreation. We all agreed with his obituary. ‘He was a man of more than life-size, Of gruff repartee, extravagance.’ One couldn’t help admiring, though, remembering A monarch of the old school, whom We shall not look upon again.

Transcript of COURTIER'S SPEECH

Donald Thomas

COURTIER’S SPEECH

Who was the King ? The King was a man Prone to turn turtle in a purple rage And cleave the neck-bone Of the nearest sycophant With the nearest cleaver.

What of the King’s mirth ? The King was his own jester. A wag With a born flair For the practical possibility Of lobster-men boiled in their baths, Or the trick board to spring them To a spiked pit. Not a dry eye in the whole house.

What were the King’s lusts ? Rape was his aphrodisiac to murder. As he rode by, the flames of our homes Lit the skewered bellies of wives and daughters. Our senile parents danced like whores To win reprieve. Being a married man himself, He knew, when seeking information, The true value of family relationships.

What was the manner of the King’s death ? A whole peacock in his strangled belly.

And what after he died? In his will he gave his gardens to the people For their recreation. We all agreed with his obituary. ‘He was a man of more than life-size, Of gruff repartee, extravagance.’ One couldn’t help admiring, though, remembering A monarch of the old school, whom We shall not look upon again.

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