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7/25/2019 Courageous Communicator eBook
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312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com
BY DAV ID GROSSMANABC, APR, Fellow PRSA
13 Weeks, 13 Challenges, and Hundreds of Personal Accomplishments on Your
journey to Becoming One Remarkable Leader
The Courageous Communicator Quest
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The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 2
The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 2
It all starts with heeding the call. Maybeyouve been doing this for a while; maybeyoure new to it. But no matter what yoursituation youre ready for a new adventure,a new path, a new way of doing things...
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The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 3
The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 3
Its going to challenge you like youve never been challengedbefore, be harder than anything youve ever done, and call onpersonal reserves and abilities you might not even know youhad. And when its all over you will be changed. You willbe a leader by nature. Youll no longer be concerned withhow youre supposed to do things, or what someoneelse says you should do. You will be transformed:
in every fiber of your being, you willunderstand what it means to lead.
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4/22The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 4The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 4
TOstart, you will need to unlearn some of what you have learned, tackle your fears head onrather
than going around themand accept that much of what youve been taught, absorbed through
osmosis, or told yourself about what it takes and what it means to be a leader just isnt necessarily
true. Because most of uswhether by creating reasons to explain, justify, or otherwise excuse
our weaknesses as leaders, or just accepting those that are handed down by othersare all too
good at letting fictions about leadership define how we understand ourselves as leaders.
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The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 5The Grossman Group 312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com 5
BUthese tales of fantastical leaders andtheir superhuman skills are the stuff of myth.A mythdened as: a usually traditional story of
ostensibly historical events that serves to unfold
part of the world view of a people or explain a practice,
belief, or natural phenomenonis the way that weas humans explain things that we just cant otherwise
wrap our heads around. And historically, great leadership
has been a thing most of us just cant quite grasp.
Why are some people so good at it, such naturals, while
so many of us cant lead our way out of a paper bag?
So people created myths to explain the seemingly
inexplicable: The born leader and all those supporting
myths that help explain the mysteries of why some people
are such effective leaders, while the rest of us are so bad at it.
Its time for a dose of reality.
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Some people refuse to accept that as mere mortalspeople who arent born
to the roles theyre supposed to playthey should be comfortable with failure.
These courageous individuals refuse to accept what others say they can
and cant do. Or about what they should or shouldnt be able to do.
Instead, its about looking within themselves, facing fears, and tackling
challenges head on. They know that with determination, courage, and
growth, they too can become like those mythical leaders. They are theCourageous Communicators.
And you, too, can be one of them.
EADERSHIPmyths are comfortable and reassuring.Tey absolve us of responsibility for results we dontwant. Tey're only real, however, if you let them be.
Most people let them...but not everyone.
l
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is not for the faint of heart. In each of the four parts, you will face challenges
that will test you in new and different ways. Some might be easy for you;
with others, you might want to quit, to walk away, to say, Im just not cut
out for this. Other times, you might feel overly condent, Ha! This ones easy.
Ive got this down.But is it really? Do you really?
On your Quest, you will need to leave the safety
of your mythical comfort zones, to journey to new
lands of self-understanding and communication
with others, to challenge yourself to do things you
never thought possible.
But in the end you will achieve greatness.
You will be a Courageous Communicator.
The Courageous Communicator Quest
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KnowThyself
Part:1
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The Courageous Journey Begins Within: Know Thyself
yOUVEheard it before: Te challenge starts within. On your path to become a truly Courageous
Communicator, you must begin with self-reflection, self-development and self-awareness.
Its about looking within yourself, being honest about strengths and weaknesses, being authenticto whatever those are, and deciding to relate to others as someone who owns who you are.
Challenge 1: Find Your Authentic Self
The Myth
Those born leaders? Theyve got qualities X, Y, and Z.
And little old me? I dont have any of them. Oh well...
The Truth
Great leaders arent born. Theyre made. Sure, some people
might seem to arrive at being good leaders more quickly or
more easily than others, but maybe its just that theyre paying
more attention. Or making the harder decisions. Or chancing
on the right path because they happened to choose Option 1
instead of Option 2. But no matter how they get there, the fact
is that leadership takes work. Great leaders are honest about
their strengths and weaknesses, and though they learn to
play up their strengths and play down their weaknesses (and
nd ways to compensate for them), they never pretend to beanything other than who they really are.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
Make a list of your best qualities, along with what you know
for sure about yourself and what you believe in. Carefully
consider and select three items on the list that you can
share with your employees or teams to give them a better
understanding of who you are and how you think.
Challenge 2: Become Self-Aware (Walk the alk)
The Myth
Great leaders do whatever they want and get to live to a
completely different standard, but somehow they get the
people under them to do what theyre supposed to do.
The Truth
It might seem like those great leaders are doing whatever
they want and dont have to answer to anyone, but thats not
true at all. In fact, good leaders know that everything they do
is modeling behaviors, setting expectations, and either directly
or indirectly communicating to employees what his/her essential
values are. Good leaders are highly self-aware: They pay attention
to what they do and how they do it. And like those who live life
in the public eye, they know everyones watching them and taking
lessons away from what they do or say (and noticing if theresa disconnect between the two).
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
Find a truth teller (or tellers) and ask, What do I need to
know about myself that I am unaware of but other people see?
What are things that I need to be aware of that would help me
understand how Im inuencing people?
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The Courageous Journey Begins Within: Know Thyself
Challenge 3: Disclose Yourself to Others
The Myth
Great leaders dont need to be known or understood.
They should be the stuff of legend.
The Truth
Its a common misconception that great leaders never
reveal their humanity. On the contrary, the most inuential
leaders understand that revealing genuine vulnerabilities
or human traits can be a powerful tool for connecting
with employees and modeling personal growth. Thats
not to say that its about becoming a quivering mess of
insecurities, but strategicand honestself-disclosure
can better help people understand that you share in their
struggles and know what it is to overcome adversity.
You show that youre not leading in a bubble, but that
your perspective is grounded in specic experiences.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
Pick a behavior that you want your teamor a
specic employeeto improve. Then think of apersonal experience with behavior that was holding
you backand the story of how you overcame it,
developed new behaviors, and how that change
ultimately led to a turning point in your career.
Now the hard part: Share that story with your team
or that individual.
Challenge 4: Stay rue to Yourself Under Pressure (Integrity)
The Myth
Great leaders always know the answer.
The Truth
Heres a surprising truth about the most effective leaders: They are
completely comfortable saying I dont know. Yes, they know its important
to be on top of things, but they dont feel the pressure to answer every
question on the spot or make things up to ll an information void. While
creating an answer at the moment might seem the best way to show youre
in charge, its far more likely to undermine employee perceptions of your
integrity in the long run. If you dont have an answer, dont make one up.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
Its time to get comfortable with three small words: I dont know.
This week, every time you dont know an answer, own it. But keep
in mind, this isnt necessarily the end of the conversation.
When appropriate, follow up with answers when
you have them, or give context for why you
dont have an answer yet.
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understand
Your World
Part:2
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The Courageous Journey in Context: Understand Your World
JUSwhat are you leading? And where do you want to go? Knowing the lay of yourown land might not seem like an important part of your journey, but its just as important
to grasp whatyoure leading as it is to understand who. Do you really understand your
organization or division? Do you have a vision for where you want to take it and what
you hope to accomplish? Just as important, have you figured out how to explain all of
it to others in a way that they can understand? Without context and planning, youre
venturing out into the great world without the tools you need to succeed.
Challenge 5: Develop an Accurate Picture of the Business
The Myth
Great leaders dont get their hands dirty with the details.
The Truth
Effective leaders might not get caught in the weeds of the business and know better than to micromanage their teams.
But they do stay connected to the people on the front lines, and understand the workings of their company, division orteam across roles and responsibilities. They realize that only by knowing whats really happening can they make better
decisions and achieve desired outcomes.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
Set up an informational lunch with employees once a week. Ask broad, open-ended questions and listen. Talk as little as
possible. Ask for clarication when you need it. Above all, let go of ego and defensiveness to show people that youre open to
hearing what they have to say.
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Challenge 7: Plan Your Communication
The Myth
Great leaders dont trouble themselves with
communication; they just get things done.
The Truth
Often people in charge assume that as long as
they have ideas, a vision, and a sense of purpose
that will be enough to lead the way forward. If only
it were that easy. In truth, good leaders know that
communicating their vision, painting a picture of
it, and helping people understand how it will affect
them can make the difference between being
a leader in name and a leader in practice.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
Take the time to plan (use our take 5tool if you
need guidance) communication for a critical issue
in the coming week. Stay focused on this singleissue for the entire week. Next week, take the t ime
to plan your communication for two issues.
And keep building in the coming weeks.
The Courageous Journey in Context: Understand Your World
Challenge 6: Envision the Future
The Myth
Great leaders are visionaries, and people fall
in line behind their ideas because they want
to align with genius.
The Truth
No doubt there are lots of people out there who
are brilliant visionaries who never become great
leaders. And why not? Because visionary ideas
arent created by osmosis. No, strong leaders
encourage others to follow because they paint a
picture of visionary ideas and show how employees
can be a part of helping achieve that vision.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
First, get your vision out of your headand onto
a single piece of paper. Only by articulating your
ideas clearly and concisely can you then passthem on to your employees. Next, ensure that
every communication you send in a single week
clearly communicates your vision. Then do it
again, week after week.
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DevelopEmpathy
Part:3
r r
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The Courageous Journey Into the Unknown: Develop Empathy
ISnot uncommon to begin your journey thinking you can go it alone. As long as you have thediscipline, the drive, and the personal reserves, youll be able to find everything you need to make
it to your destination within yourself. Some call it resourcefulness, but as a leader, youre not a loneoperator. Tis isnt about survival of the fittest. Tis is about leading your entire team to success, tonurturing the best in everyone, to understand the talents of each and every member of your team,and to get to your destination by harnessing everyones collected efforts.
o do that, youll need to develop an understanding of how others think and why they think theway they do. Te Courageous Communicator knows that empathy, or the ability to put oneself insomeone elses shoes and see the world from their perspective (which is not to say that you have toagree with or condone their thoughts and actions) is an essential component of great leadership.
Challenge 8: Embrace Kindness and Caring
The Myth
Great leaders know kindness and concern for others is the quickest way to show weaknessand lose respect.
The Truth
In contrast to this all-too-common myth, the most effective leaders arent cold and ruthless. In fact, employees consistently
work better and harder for leaders who make them feel better about themselves, who display an honest appreciation for
others and their lives, and who value what they do for the organization.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
Commit to adding a new word or phrase to your vocabulary every day this week. And use it!
Monday:Please
uesday:Thank you
Wednesday:Im grateful that you
Tursday:One of the things
I value about you is
Friday:How can I better
support you in?
The Courageous Journey Into the Unknown Develop Empathy
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The Courageous Journey Into the Unknown: Develop Empathy
Challenge 9: Create anEmotional Connection
The Myth
Great leaders dont get
distracted by things like
emotions and feelings.
Theyre all about the facts.
The Truth
Facts are great, but most people
dont connect with the facts.
They identify with the stories
that emerge from or develop inrelation to the facts. People look
to leaders to connect the factual
dots, to ll in the color, and to
paint a picture of what facts
mean for the company, for the
future, and for them as individual
employees.
The Courageous
Communicator ChallengeWrite down your three most
important goals. Now esh
out the possibilities inherent in
achieving those goals by creating
three Imagine if statements
that paint a picture of the future
and offer motivation to your team.
Challenge 10: Understand Others & ListenEmpathetically
The Myth
Great leaders know better than to worry about how
employees feel or to try to understand their concerns.
The Truth
Its easy for leaders to hold court, but exercising power or control
isnt the same as actuallyleading. In myth, understanding others
is often portrayed as weakness, but in reality, truly effective
leaders nd strength in listening to their employees, gaining an
understanding of their perspectives, and in communicating in a
way that shows respect for others.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
This week, you have a two-part assignment:
Part 1:Do you understand how your boss/assistant/otherperson you regularly work with thinks? Choose a person with
whom you have daily interactions. Think about what information
this person needs to do his/her job well and how he/she likes to
receive information. Make a list, and put that list into use every
time you communicate with this person during the week.
Part 2:Take one day this week to ask the same person anopen-ended question with the goal of learning something new
about him/her. Specically, ask a what question, and then follow
it up with a why? and to what end? Actively listen, avoid taking
things personally or getting defensive, and then paraphrase back
what youve heard the person say to ensure youve understood
their point of view. This conversation should be entirely about
the other person, and not about you or advancing your opinions.
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Lead Through HonestCommunicationPart:4
The Courageous Journey Culminates Lead through Honest Communication
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The Courageous Journey Culminates: Lead through Honest Communication
yOUVEcome so far. But this, the final leg of your journey, will be the hardest yet.
Why? Because now you must combine all of the things you have learned in theprevious three parts, and actively put them to use in your daily interactions with
employees. Where past challenges asked you to look within, to understand your
situation, and to work toward an understanding of others, now youll need to directly
connect with others to inspire them to action and help achieve your vision. Youre
so close. Good luck on this final leg of your journey, Courageous Communicator!
Challenge 11: Value Dialogue
The Myth
Once great leaders speak, their words become gospel.
The Truth
Communication is more than just speaking words or writing them down. Impactful leaders know that in order to be heard,
understood and acted upon, those words must be incorporated into give-and-take dialogue. This approach lets the intended
audience or employee nd meaning and relevance in the imparted information, resulting in true communication.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
This weeks challenge is a simple one (in action, at least): Add the sentence Help me understand what you heard to the end
of every conversation.
But heres where it gets hard: Really listen to and engage with the response you get. If the person heard something different,
do they need further explanation? Or is their misunderstanding actually revealing a gap in your own thinking? How will your
conversation become a dialogue that leads to a meaningful, productive outcome?
The Courageous Journey Culminates: Lead through Honest Communication
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The Courageous Journey Culminates: Lead through Honest Communication
Challenge 12: Give Others Feedback and Be Open to Input
The MythGreat leaders exist on one plane; employees on another.
And the two never touch or overlap.
The Truth
Feedback is how we all move forward. An effective leader knows that
he/she must give constructive feedback to employees to help people
understand how they are doingwhether they are doing something
well or they need to signicantly improve. And just as important, strong
leaders are open to feedback and input from others. Its not about my
way or the highway; instead, good leaders know that soliciting and
listening to the opinions of employees can be a way to gain honest
insights and new or valuable perspectives.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
This weeks challenge has two parts, focusing on providing daily
coaching and feedback:
Part 1:Recognize the behaviors and actions you want to seemore of: I appreciate that you...
Part 2:Coach around alternative behaviors in a series of clear steps:
I want to share feedback with you...
The reason I want to share this feedback is (share your motivation
and intent, and show how your feedback will benet him/her).
Share your feedback: When you did________, this is the result(describe).
How do you feel about what I just said?
If it is necessary, provide alternative behaviors that are more effective.
Then dialogue and discuss next steps.
Challenge 13: Empower
Others and Help Tem Believein Temselves
The Myth
Great leaders know that employees cant
handle the truthand that its important
to protect them from too much knowledge.
The Truth
Youve seen those Public Service
Announcements that end with The more you
know Sure, there will always be people whowant to believe that ignorance is bliss, but the
fact is that in most cases, knowledge is power.
As a leader, its in your control to empower
your team with important information that can
help them feel more responsible, better able to
make essential decisions, and more condent
that they can trust in their own competence
(rather than constantly needing reassurance
or approval from superiors). The result is more
effective teams that free your time to do what
you should be doing: Leading.
The Courageous Communicator Challenge
Think of information that you are consciously
withholding from your team. But instead
of holding back, share a)what you know
and b)what you dont know. Then begin
a dialogue with your team about the
information and how to understand it.
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Oddly enough, though you should be tired,youre not. Its like you have a new lease
on life, a special spring in your step, and
youre ready to set the world on re.
Whereas before being in charge often
felt like an uphill battle, now youre
comfortable with and inspired by the
possibilities of leadership. Your sights
are set on what you can accomplish.
Youre discovering that you now have
the ability to inspire individuals and teams
to new heights. Youre seeing what your
vision looks like in action. Youre nding
that employeesand your peerslook at
you with a new respect and appreciation.
Its a funny thing Youve ended your Quest and
earned the right to rest on your laurelsto sit back,
relax, and take a little time for yourselfbut you dont
want to. Theres just so much great leading to do...
Congratulations, CourageousCommunicator! Youve
come a long way...
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Elevate your communication from dream to reality...312 N. May St. Suite 101 Chicago, IL 60607 p. 312.829.3252 YourThoughtPartner.com
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Available at
YourThoughtPartner.com/Book
Imagine having your own personalized business
messages and stories in the palm of your hand.
Our leadercommunicator platform is now available
for the iPad or tablet, enabling leaders to have quick
and easy access to their core messages. Not unlike a
political platform, the award-winning leadercommunicatorplatform is a customized tool for senior leaders to help
them develop and articulate strategy, drive change,
and engage employees to achieve business results.
It's never been easier to ensure leaders stay on track
with the messaging they want to drive.
David Grossman, ABC, APR, Fellow PRSADavid helps leaders drive productivity and get the results they want through authentic and courageous
leadership and communication. Hes a sought-after speaker and advisor to Fortune 500 leaders, and
author of the highly-acclaimed books, You CantNOTCommunicate: Proven Communication Solutions
That Power the Fortune 100,and its follow-up, You CantNOTCommunicate2.
David counsels leaders at top organizations to unleash the power of strategic internal communication
and drive performance. Clients include Accor, AOL, HTC, GlaxoSmithKline, LifeScan (a Johnson & Johnson Company),
Lockheed Martin, McDonalds, Microsoft, Nielsen, DuPont Pioneer, and Symantec, to name a few.
Hes Founder/CEO of The Grossman Group, an award-winning Chicago-based strategic leadership
development and internal communications consultancy, and teaches at Columbia University, NYC.
The Grossman Group
Typeface Credits:
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Denise Bentulan- Brain Flower
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