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Happy Valentines to all the romantics!! If you arewondering where to go for a nice romantic dinnercheck out our bar and restaurant guide from page52. Or if you are single you might want to take a

look at our pulling techniques starting on page 62 – they are sure to come in useful! Its celebration time later this year, Queen Elizabeth II came to the throne on the 6thFebruary 1952 and this month marks the 60th anniversary, the official celebrations will takeplace in June.It’s pancake day on the 21st February, our friends at the retro, are having pancake day so ifyour preference is savour or sweet get along there and see how many you can manage!!Talking of The Retro, you may remember the competition we ran last month, we had loadsand loads of entires and have decided to run it again, so if you fancy trying again, or didn’tenter last month, see page 65 and send your entries to us [email protected] - you never know – it could be you!And for those that think there just aren’t enough hours in the day, you will be pleased tohear that we have an extra day this month……………… make the most of it!

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AA WW oo mm aa nn ’’ ss WW oo rr ll ddA the tale of a very mean man.....

This man had worked all of his life, had saved all of his

money, and unbelievably tight. He told his wife, "When I

die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the coffin

with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

So he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that

when he died, she would put all of the money in the coffin

with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the coffin,

his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sit-

ting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just

before the undertakers got ready to close the coffin, the

wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her,

she leaned over coffin and placed the box in the man’s

hands. Then the undertakers screwed down the lid of the

coffin, and they rolled it away. Her friend said, "I know you

weren't silly enough to put all that money in there with

your husband." The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I can't go

back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put

that money in that coffin with him." "You mean to tell me

you put that money in the coffin with him!!!!?"

"I did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my

bank account and wrote him a cheque.

If he can cash it, he can spend it."


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HHOOTT GGOOSSSS!!Heidi Klum and Seal confirm split...After a lot of speculation about the state oftheir marriage, Heidi Klum and Seal have now CONFIRMED that they are divorc-ing. In a statement given to Us Weekly the couple says: “While we have enjoyedseven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul-searching wehave decided to separate. We have had the deepest respect for one anotherthroughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we havegrown apart. Call us naïve, but we always thought that Seal and Heidi seemed rocksolid. This is very sad news indeed.Paradis & Depp... French actress Vanessa Paradis has spoken about feeling ‘in the

depths of myself’ as her 14-year relationship with Hollywood star Johnny Depp is said tobe on the brink of collapse. Miss Paradis hinted at the strains on her in real life in inter-views to promote her latest film. The star, 39, who has two children with the Pirates OfThe Caribbean star, was in Paris promoting Cafe De Flore, in which she plays a singlemother. The actress, who did not refer to Depp by name, claimed she didn’t believe inmarriage or soulmates because ‘if you lose your soulmate everything is done for’.Simon Cowell on engagement to Mezhgan Hussainy: “We’re on a break”

Simon Cowell spent his Christmas break relaxing in St. Barts with a gaggle of beautiful women – including ex-girlfriend Sinitta. But one lady was noticeably absent– his fiancé Mezhgan Hussainy. The TV mogul has now admitted that his relation-ship with his make-up artist fiancé is “complicated” and that he shouldn’t have calledher “The One”. “It’s quite a complicated relationship. We have had a break fromeach other, and we are still incredibly close,” Simon says in the Sunday Mirror. “I’mvulnerable. It’s not on, it’s not off, it’s somewhere in the middle. I don’t know if I willever get married, but I am happy.” What do you think Costa Link readers aboutSimon's attitude to relationships?


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HHOOTT GGOOSSSS!!With the Spice Girls..... musical nearly complete, could fans of the girl power group get a taste

of the real thing at this summer’s Olympics?The girls could reunite for a special show as part of

the London Olympics (we SO want this to happen),with an insider claiming that the girls are waiting onVictoria Beckham to agree on another comeback,“Mel B is pushing for it to happen,” a source tellsRadarOnline. “It would be an opportunity of a lifetimefor the band to perform in front of a worldwide audience in front of the best athletes in their country.The holdout seems to be Posh. She has so muchgoing on ... and she isn't agreeing to it - yet!” With New York fashion week just around the corner,Victoria Beckham is stepping out from behind the

scenes to conjure up some buzz about her upcoming collections.The mother-of-four made her return to modeling for the first time since the birth of babyHarper six months ago on the cover of Japanese magazine Numéro. Victoria,37, strikes a sultry pose in a blue leather trench coat by Burberry. Thedesigner's outfit reveals a hint of black lingerie beneath and is unbuttoned todisplay her bare legs.In her personal life, Victoria and husband David have just confirmed that the

family is to stay in Los Angeles after months of rumours. David, 37, has signed foranother two years with the LA Galaxy, a move he has joked was driven by the need to funddaughter Harper's “ridiculous wardrobe.”


12

Just in case you're stuck for what to write in yourValentines day card, these are entries to aWashington Post competition asking for a rhymewith the most romantic first line... but the leastromantic second line.

‘Thought that I could love no other that is until I metyour brother.’

‘Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's

empty and so is your head.’

‘Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face.’

‘Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pi**ed.’

‘Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not.’

‘I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face.’

‘My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life.’

‘I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.’

‘My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in, to smell this way?’

‘My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe ‘go to hell’’.

‘What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.’

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14

crustacea love...Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the LobsterPrincess were madly and passionately in love.For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship

until one day Kate scuttled over to Douglas intears. “We can't see each other any more...” she

sobbed. “Why?” gasped Douglas. “Daddy says thatcrabs are too common,” she wailed. “He claims you are

a mere crab, and that crabs are the lowest class of crustacean and thatno daughter of his will ever marry someone who can only walk side-ways!” Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into thedarkness to drink himself into a state of oblivion. That night, the greatLobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancingand merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosinginstead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable. Suddenly the doors burstopen, and Douglas the crab strode in. The Lobsters all stopped theirdancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne.Slowly, painstakingly, Douglas the crab made his way across the floorand all could see that he was walking, not sideways...but forwards...Yesforwards, one claw after another! Step by step he made his approachtowards the throne, until he looked the King lobster in the eye. Therewas a deadly hush...For quite a while nobody said anything then, finally,the crab spoke..."Bugger, I’ve never been so bladdered."


16

1) Who wrote ‘The JungleBook’?

2) Who played the title role in thefilm ‘Shirley Valentine’?

3) What does an ‘oologist’ (pronounced oo-all-o-gist) collect

or study?4) Who had hits with ‘I Am a Rock’

and ‘The Boxer’?5) How many US States begin with the letter ‘A’?

6) Which founder of the Mongol Empire took aname that translates as Emperor of All?

7) Who, in 1943, wrote the book ‘The Gremlins’which was later turned into a successful film?

8) Which European capital city is heated by vol-canic springs?

9) In February 2000, Frodo Baggins was the firstwhat to enter Britain under a new scheme that had

originally been suggested by the Monster RavingLoony Party?

10) Which Sports Personality was named the BBCWorldwide Sports Personality of the 20th Century?

11) The Pillars of Hercules stands either side ofwhich stretch of water?

12) In what year did decimalization of British cur-rency take place?

13) . Who was the British actor who won an Oscarfor his part in ‘The Bridge over the River Kwai’?

14) What is the name of PrinceEdward’s production company?

15) What was the WrightBrother’s first plane called?16) Which town on the RiverThames is associated with a

Royal regatta first held in 1839?17) Which Scottish City is known as

‘The Granite City’?18) Which breed of spotted dog is named after anAdriatic Coastal region?19) With which wood did Thomas Chippendalemainly work?20) Which Shakespeare play features two sets oftwins?21) Who is the Captain that hunts Moby Dick in theHermann Melville novel?22) Which imaginary line follows the 180 degreesline of longitude?23) . In the stock market, what is the opposite of abull market?24) Who was the Greek God of sleep?25) Which language is an official language ofCanada, Belgium and Switzerland?26) Apart from being rivers, what do Shannon,Forth, Tyne and Humber have in common?27) Who was the first footballer to be knighted?28) In television, what do the initials CNN standfor? Answers on page 82

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A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girlfriend on Valentinesday. As they had only just started dating, after careful con-sideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the rightnote: personal, but not too personal.

Accompanied by the girlfriend's younger sister, he went toHarrods and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister pur-chased a pair of kinckers for herself. During the wrapping,however, the clerk got the items mixed up and the sistergot the gloves and the girl friend got the knickers.

The guy sent the package to the girl friend with the follow-ing note:

I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit ofwearing any in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I

would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wearsthe short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade,

but the sales clerk that helped me has a pair that she has been wearingfor the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me andshe looked really smart.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands willcome into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you takethem off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturallybe a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during thecoming year. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night. All my love.

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Go CurlyCurly hairstyles, whether worn up or down, offer a very romantic look that's perfect for Valentine's Day. If your hair isn't naturally curly, create curls all over your head with a small barreled curling iron held vertically. After you have finished, simply run your fingers through your hair (don't brush) to create pretty, loose curls, or book some super sexy curls at Diva.Get a Manicure & PedicureThe day before Valentine's Day, get a manicure and pedicure to prepare for your special date. Your nails don't have to be super long to look good, just make sure they are neat and trimmed. Red or pink polish is perfect for Valentine's Day, but don't be afraid to experiment with other shades including nudes and metallics. De-FuzzWhat better way to feel sexy is there than to be fuzz free, and smooth? Get that all important bikini wax booked! Get BronzedBought some sexy lingerie this Valentines? Or out to find your Mr Right? A spray tan will give you a sexy golden glow that will not only wow your man, but also give you a huge confidence boost too, no more white corn beef legs! Just 20€ at Diva.Don’t Forget FragranceFor Valentine's Day, a floral fragrance is ideal. If you don't normally wear perfume, consider a scented body lotion or oil for just a touch of scent that he won't forget.Perfect Your PoutSlough away any dry skin from your lips with a washcloth. Apply a lip primer or foundation on your lips to create a base. Line your lips with a pencil liner close to your natural lip color. Apply lipstick, blot with a tissue and then apply another coat. Add a touch of gloss for some shine and super sexy kissable lips.

Diva’s Sexy Valentines Tips.....


22

LONDON (STRATFORD) will be hosting the Olympic Games in2012.You may not know is that many of the famous events, which go tomake up this spectacular event, are to be especially altered for2012. A copy of these changes has been leaked, and is repro-duced below:OPENING CEREMONY: The flame will be ignited by a petrol

bomb thrown by a native of the area in the traditional dress of bal-aclava and shell suit. The flame will be contained in a large over-

turned police van situated on the roof of the stadium.THE EVENTS: In previous Olympic Games, East London's competitors have

not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have beenaltered slightly to the advantage of local athletes.100 METRES SPRINT: Competitors will have to hold a DVD player and microwave oven (one ineach arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a cage 10yards behind the athletes.!00 METRES HURDLES: 100 METRES HURDLES: As above but with added obstacles (i.e. car bon-nets, hedges, garden fences, walls etc)HAMMER: Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw,sledge etc) the winner will be the one who can cause the most physical damage within threeattempts.FENCING: FENCING: Entrants will be asked to dispose of as many stolen goods as possible in 5minutes.SHOOTING: A strong challenge is expected from local men in this event. The first target will be amoving police van. In the second round, competitors will aim at a post office clerk, bank teller orSecuricor-style wages deliveryman. The traditional .22 rifle has been replaced in this event by achoice of either a Browning automatic handgun or sawn-off 12-bore shotgun.BOXING: Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take place on aFriday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of lager while the wife will be told not to make himany tea when he gets home. The bout will then commence.CYCLING TIME TRIALS: Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and takean expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy on his first trip away from home. Allagainst the clock.CYCLING PURSUIT: CYCLING PURSUIT: As above, but the bike will be owned by a visiting memberof the Australian rugby team, who will witness the theft.MODERN PENTATHLON: Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joyridingand arson.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 28.....

London2012Olympics


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Bill & Steve....are enjoying a

beer and discussing thepossibility oflove. "I thought

I was in lovethree times," Bill

says."Thought?" Steve asks.

"What do you mean?""Three years ago, I cared very deeply for awoman who wanted nothing to do with me,"Bill says."Wasn't that love?" Steve asks."No, that was obsession," Bill explains."Then two years ago, I cared very deeply foran attractive woman who didn't understandme." "Wasn't that love?" asks Steve."No, that was lust," Bill replies. "And just lastyear, I met a woman while I was on a cruise.She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense ofhumor. Everywhere I followed her on thatship, I would get a very strange sensation inthe pit of my stomach.""Well, wasn't that love," asks Steve."No. That was motion sickness!" Bill replies.

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SWIMMING EVENTS: All waterways are currently being testedfor toxicity levels, once one is found that can support humanlife, swimming events will be organised, please note that theSynchronised Swimming event for this year will comprise ofdropping acid and watching all the funky ripples on the pool,the specific musical support to this event will be provided by

"The Verve."

THE MARATHON: A safe route has yet to be decided.

MEN’S 50KM WALK: Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled asthe police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of East London.

THE CLOSING CEREMONY: Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members ofthe Stratford Health in the Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronised rock throwing, andmusic by the Ilford community choir. The flame will be extinguished by police riot water cannonfollowing the inevitable pitch invasion by confused West Ham organised hooliganism club. Thestadium itself will then be boarded up before the local athletes break into it and remove all thecopper piping and the central heating boiler

London2012Olympics

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Pets beware ...The Processionary Caterpillar!

The weather has been really warm & we must warn pet owners of the dan-gers of the “candy floss” white nests that are in the fir trees above our heads!!

This is the nest of the PROCESSIONARY CATERPILLAR and they arrive in theirthousands!! – They are dangerous to humans too but because dogs & cats are inquisi-

tive & like to nosey about on the ground sniffing out what’s new – that is when pets get them-selves into trouble.The caterpillars get their name because they follow each other in a “procession” actually lookingquite sweet, innocent and cute, they are dark brown in colour . The caterpillars hatch from theirnests and follow each other across a pathway or road making a definite line to their onward des-tination. It is at this point that canines and felines wander up to the “little monsters” & have agood sniff to investigate the findings – & get into trouble.

The caterpillars are covered in thousands of tiny hairs which gethooked on the skin, mouth or nose – they imbed into pets andthen literally “eat away on flesh” . Avoid exercising pets in thepine forests until the end of April.

For simple tips of destroying a trail of caterpillars easilyplease do not hesitate to contact us via our website or call uson:

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The concept of myofascial pain is a relative new conceptand refers to pains in the muscles and tendons. These types

of pains are the exceedingly common: approximately 70-80%of all patients who suffers pain, suffers from

myofascial pain. A majority of people end up living a very poor quality oflife due to being in pain. The good news is that there now is a way of treating this kind of pain, and greatlyimprove the level of pain, even curing and eliminating the pain.

In 1983, Dr. Travell (known amongst other things for treating President Kennedy) published her book with Dr.Simons “ Myofascial Pain and Dysfunction, the Triggerpoint Manual”. This book combines almost all currentknowledge on these pains, and has become the reference book for this subject. It was Dr. Travell, together withDr. Simons, that created the concept ‘triggerpoint’. The pain is concentrated in small ‘points’ in the muscle.These points are painful when pressed and feel like hard lumps inside the muscle. The muscle fibres are inpermanent contraction and suffer from isquemia, and an energy crisis. In daily practice these points can bedetected by palpation, and cannot be seen with imaging tools such as magnetic resonance or other scanners.Blood tests also don’t work.

Muscles and tendons have for a long time been omitted as a subject in medical education. Very few doctorsknow much about the new possibilities for treatment. Doctors, in general, work with x-rays and images fromother scans. Thus, things that show up in scans, such as arthrosis and prolapsed discs get the blame for thepain. This leads to an erroneous belief that the pain cannot be relived, that it is chronic, and can only be man-aged and calmed down by medication. In so many cases, this is not the case! The pain originates from themuscles and tendons around the joint and can be cured/eased with the new treatment methods.

Myofascial pain is the cause behind many different diagnoses, such as: Arthrosis, Bursitis, Ischias syndrome,Lumbago, Frozen shoulder, Tendinitis, Fibromyalgia, Tennis elbow, Tension neck, Herniated disc etc.This is a typical example: A patient gets pain around his hip joint. The x-ray study shows some arthrosis of thejoint. As treatment he receives anti inflammatory pain medication and possibly instructions for physiotherapy.Only a very small percentage of patients are cured with this treatment. The pain continues, the tablets allevi-ate the situation slightly, but do not cure it. The pain increases after strain and becomes chronic. Because it isnot possible to fix the wear in the joint, we think that the pain too will remain. However, this is not the correctconclusion since in most cases; the pain is due to the soft tissues not the joint itself. Therefore, after a fewsessions of specific treatment with this innovative method, the pain often disappears (although the arthrosisremains!).

The treatment is directed at the so called trigger points which are inactivated. Efficient treatment combinesseveral methods. The goal is to re-establish the metabolism and the normal function of the affected tissue.

One of the most efficient treatments begins by infiltrating the triggerpoints with a weak local anaesthetic solu-tion (sometimes with a corticoid). The infiltration reduces the pain, increases the circulation and relaxes themuscle and even rinses the tissues of toxic metabolites such as lactic acid. After infiltration the use of appara-tus such as ultra sound or laser can help to relax the tissue. A very important part of the treatment is the man-ual massage and stretching of the tissue, which releases the localised spasms, and returns the normalfunction of the tissue. Usually this needs several treatment sessions. Normally 4 to 6 treatments, of 45-50mins each will be enough.

Almost as important as the treatment of the pain, is accessing and rectifying the ergonomicsof the patient. Many needs to learn about the importance of body posture and how to usethe body correctly. Rectifying bad postures and poor working habits will help to prevent thecondition reoccurring in the future.

Dr Pentti Raaste is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” and a specialist on Myofacial pain. Formore information on Dr Pentti Raaste or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink”on 952 93 38 76

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34


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36

Several men were sit-ting around in the

locker room of a golfclub after playing around. Suddenly a

cell phone on one ofthe benches rings.

One of the men picks itup, and the followingconversation ensues:

'Hello?''Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?'

'Yes.''Great! I am at the El Corte Ingles. I just seen abeautiful DKNY coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!!

Can I buy it?'“How much is it?''Only €1,500.00.

'Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like itthat much ... '

'Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes deal-ership and saw the SLS AMG. I saw one I really

liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gaveme a really good price ...

and since we need to exchange the BMW thatwe bought last year ... '

'What price did he quote you?''Only €160,000 ... ''OK, but for that price I want it with all theoptions.''Great! But before we hang up, something else... ''What?''It might look like a lot, but I was reconcilingyour bank account and ... I stopped by theestate agent this morning and saw the housewe had looked at last year. It's been reduced!!Remember? The one with a pool, 18 bedrooms,3 acre’ s of grounds, and it’ s on the beach ... ''How much are they asking?''Only €1.2 million - a magnificent price ... and Isee that we have that much in the bank tocover ... ''Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid€1.1 million. OK?''OK, sweetie ... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I loveyou!!!''Bye ... I do too ... 'The man hangs up and raises his hand whileholding the phone and asks to all those pres-ent:'Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

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---

Central number for Fire,

Police & Ambulance 112

National Police 091

Local Police 092

Guardia Civil 062

dica

Emergency061

Ambulance Marbella

902 505 061

Ambulance Coin952 453 267

Marbella952 769 946

Coin

952 452 767

San Pedro952 787 700

Emergency number080

Marbella952 774 349

Estepona952 804 483Fuengirola952 461 046

British 952 352 300

Ireland 952 475 108

Denmark 952 226 373

Sweden 952 604 383

Germany 952 212 442

France 952 226 590

U.S.A 952 474 891

Marbella 952 771 442

Coin 952 822 818

Estepona 952 822 818

Fuengirola 952 467 457

San Pedro 952 785 252

Bus Stations

Marbella952 764 400

Coin952 450 366


Estepona

952 800249

For a list of complete timeswww.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Train Timetables902 240 202

Airports

Malaga952 048 844

Gibraltar956 773 026

Marbella952 761 100


La Cala de Mijas952 493 208

Fuengirola952 589 300

Estepona952 801 100

Monday - Marbella (fairground

site on east side)

Tuesday - Fuengirola (fair-

ground near Los Boliches)

Wednesday - Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos)

La Cala - Feria ground

Thursday - San Pedro

(Recinto Ferial)

Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama)

Friday - Alhaurin el Grande

(Bar Aquamania)

Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano

Pineda)

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

All the Cinemas listed below

show films in English as well

as Spanish. Call first to check

what is showing that week.

Marbella:Cinesur Plaza del Mar952 766 941

La Cañada902 333 231

Puerto Banus:Gran Marbella952 810 077

Coin:La Trocha951 315 039

FuengirolaCinesur Miramar902 221 622

24 hour chemist

Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz

Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Marbella Taxis952 774 488

Mijas Costa Taxis952 476 593

February 14th: Valentine’sDay

February 21st: ShroveTuesday (Pancake Day)

February 22nd: AshWednesday

February 28th: Andalucia Day

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 66940

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Emergency Numbers

Medical

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Fire Brigade

Consulates

Transport

Tourist Information

Town Halls

Markets Diary Dates

Cinemas

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Taxis


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Part One: A typical macho man married a typical good-look-ing lady and after the wedding, he laid down the followingrules: “I'll be home when I want, if I want and at whattime I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expecta great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that Iwon't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozingand card-playing when I want with my old buddies and

don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.Any comments?” His new bride said, “No, that's fine with me.

Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock everynight...whether you're here or not.” (She's good!)Part Two: A Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40thwedding anniversary! The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you aheadstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.’” “Yeah?” she replies.“When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies MyHusband, Stiff At Last.’” (He asked for it!)Part Three: A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. The wife

gets up in a rage and says, “And you’re no good in bed either!” and storms out of the house. After

sometime she realises she was nasty and decides to make amends and rings him up. He comes to

the phone after many rings, and the irritated wife says, "what took

you so long to answer the phone?" He says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, SHE HAD THAT COMING!)

Part Four: A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." (RIGHT ON, LADY!)

The Joys of Marriage

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This is beautiful Beth, an X galgo. She was coming into a garden trying to find food. Poor girl was very close to death due to starvation. When she came into Fama she was so very thin.She is such a sweet girl and yearns love. She is still a little nervous as she had to survive alone. Each day she is becoming a little more relaxed, she has now even started to play with the other dogs at Fama.Beth would for sure make someone the perfect pet. Unfortunately Beth is only one of many dog who are looking for a good home Fama’s policy is never to put down a healthy dog, they have a home for life or until they are adopted.


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Friday 3rd February: The Picasso

Museum in Malaga is holding a

Flamenco in Picasso day featuring

Choni & Cia Flamenca. Price is just

€6. Contact the museum on 952 602

731 or visit www.unientradas.es Saturday 18th February:

Wellington Centre, Coin is holding a

Valentines ‘Code Red’ night. Everyone

must wear at least one item of red clothing

or jewellery and the evening is just €3 entry for

a night of entertainment. Contact 679185078 for info.Saturday 25th – Sunday 26th February: Living Well Marbella 2012 exhibition. Featuring

25 workshops and 65 stands. Bouncy castle for the kids, face painting, kids yoga and

mind balancing classes for teens. Tickets are just €5 and children go free. www.livingwell-

marbella.com Monday 27th February to Friday 2nd March: Half Term (Semana Blanca) club to be held

at the Multisports Centre from 10am-2pm. Fun activities and sports for aged 4-14 years.

€20 per day or €80 for the week. www.themultisportsclub.com Every Tuesday: Mum &

Baby Pilates class at 11am at the San Roque International Nursery, Sotogrande with stim-

ulating toys, ball pool and much more. www.pilatesparati.es Every Wednesday: Curry Night & Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona

Lola.Every Thursday: Pilates Stroller workout class on the Torreguadiaro Beachfront at 11am.

This is a post natal workout for Mums along with their little ones in their stroller, walking

exercises and Pilates pitstops. www.pilatesparati.esEvery Thursday: Steak Night at Ray’s Bar, With live Music, Dona Lola, Beach Side

Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364Every Friday: Fish and Chips Night at Ray’s Bar, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda,

opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364Every Saturday: Costa AllStars Cheerleader classes now running Coin at Aqua Gym in La

Trocha. All ages in one class from 10.30am-12pm. Call Vanessa on 677 493 280 to reserve

a place and info.Every Saturday and/or Sunday: The Wildside Forest School for Kids starts this month

and runs every weekend in Coin. Two hours classes for children in nature. Tree rubbings,

building a camp, safety, insects etc. See www.wildsidesurvivaleurope.com for info.Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at Santiago del Calvario, Alhaurin, Roast beef,

Lamb Pork, or chicken with fish and Vegetarian options available.Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at El Parasio Bar and Restaurant. Tel 952 883

799Every Sunday: Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola, Beach Side

Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364Every Sunday: Barbeque night at Riviera Grand Palms Cyber Cafe, from 6pm, Families

welcome, loads of home cooked food from 7€, Calle Sirocco 370 Phase 7 Urb. Riveria del

Sol, follow the signs from the lady in the bath, booking advised Tel 952 932 112.Every Last Sunday of the Month: The Picasso Museum has free admission on this day

so a great day to visit the 3,500 plus pieces of art. Open from 10am until 8pm in the week-

end and 9pm weekends. Guided tours in English on Wednesdays at 11.30am. Tel: 952 602

731.

If you would like to list your events, days out or any else you have going on please contactus on: 663 061 669 or email [email protected]

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Ways to relax & de-stress....

IsStressReallyAPartOfLife?Wehavetoberesilientinordertoeffectivelycopewithstressandhelpitenhanceourlifeinsteadofcontrolit.How

doyougetstrongandresilient?Bylearninghowtotakecon-trolofyourstressandmakeitworkFORyouinsteadofAGAINST

you.Here’sHowToRelaxandDe-stress:

Don'tjustsitthere.Move!Accordingtomanypsychologists,motioncreatesemotion.Youmightnoticethatwhenyouareidle,it'seasiertobecomedepressed.Yourheartrateslowsdown,lessoxygentravelstoyourbrain,andyouareslumpedsomewhereinachairblockingairfromreachingyourlungs.

Ichallengeyourightnow,regardlessofhowyouarefeeling,togetupandwalkaroundatafasttempo.Maybeyoumightwanttogotoanemptyroomandjumpupanddownalittlebit.Itmaysoundsillybuttheresultsspeakforthemselves.Tryitnowforafewminutes.Itworkslikemagic.

Exercisecanbeagreatstressbuster.Peoplewithanxietydisordersmightworrythataerobicexercisecouldbringonapanicattack.Afterall,whenyouexercise,yourheartrategoesup,youbegintosweat,andyourbreathingbecomesheavier.

Don'tpanic-it'snotanattack!Tellyourselfthisoverandoverwhileyou'reexercising.Realizethatthere'sabigdifferencebetweenthephysicalsideofexerciseandwhathappenswhenyouexercise.

Smelltheroses.Howdoyousmelltheroses?Howaboutinvestingsomemoneytogoonthatonetripyou'vebeendreamingabout?Visitacountrywithlotsofexoticplacestojoltyourimaginationandspuryourcreativity.Youneedtodetachfromyourdailyactivitiesandventurealittlebit.

Lookoutformorewaystorelaxandde-stressnextmonth.....

Health & Well Being

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Why do you need a UK address? For all sorts of reasons. Sensitive documents like bank statements or credit cards; inter net shopping at ASDA, Sainsbury’s, Argos or hundreds of UK stores; many eBay sellers only deliver to the UK; magazine subscriptions are far cheaper in the UK; Driving Licenses; Family presents and communication; Businesses who need a UK address; Many UK items (car parts etc.) are much cheaper; other things are not comparable in Spain like toasters and irons - so many reasons.....

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52


STARTERSSpring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken

and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot andSour Soup or Spare Ribs.

MAIN COURSEBeef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese

Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken withCashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with

Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)RICE AND NOODLES

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodleswith Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

DESSERTSCoffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit

Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas.Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

HONG KONGCHINESE RESTAURANT

ONLY€6.90

La Mirage Restaurant & Spikes Bar

Lunch or Dine in style in our fabulous Restaurant overlooking the Golf Course excellent choice of menus and wines. Open every day of the year.

Live entertainment on Friday / Saturday eveningsor

Relax on the sunny terrace of Spikes Bar.Breakfasts, snacks & daily specials available from

08:00 till late every day (from 09:00 on Sunday)

Miraflores Golf ClubUrbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

Tel (+34) 952 931 941 Email: [email protected]

Website: www.miraflores-golf.com

aurestestestaurage Rage RLa MirLa MirLa Mirage RLa Mirage R& Spikes Bar

ant auraurant

uf Clf Clues Goles Golf Clafloraflores GolMirMiraflor

.miraflores-golf.comebsite: wwwWWebsite: wwwEmail: [email protected]

el (+34) 952 931 941 TUrbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

bu

.miraflores-golf.comEmail: [email protected]

Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM

54


Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu.

Special lunch menu only €6.95.

Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday.

Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Golden Sun

Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta,

wood burning pizza oven, Open every day

12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

Mama Nostra

All live sports and premiere league football. SixTV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast andhomemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10am-

late, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

Harrys Sports Bar

INDIA LUCIAIndian Cuisine in Andalucia

Good Quality, Great ValueOpening 1st February

Calle Jerez Urb. TorrenuevaTel: 635 055 686

INDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAINDIA LUCIAIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in AndaluciaIndian Cuisine in Andalucia

el: 635 055 686TTel: 635 055 686orrenueCalle Jerez Urb. TCalle Jerez Urb. Torrenue

Opening ebruary F February1stOpening Calle Jerez Urb. T

, Great VGood QualityGood Quality, Great V

el: 635 055 686vaorrenue

ebruaryalue, Great V, Great Value

AAddvveerrttiissee YYoouurr

BBaarr oorr RReessttaauurraanntt

Call: 663 061 66956

Courtesy of Costa Link

The Bar & Eaterie, La Cala

WIN

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INNER SEE PAGE 65


Baked Raspberry Cheesecake Serves 8 Preparation 20 mins Cook time 40 mins Ready in 1 hour

Ingredients: 8 digestive biscuits

50g butter , melted

600g cream cheese

2 tbsp plain flour

175g caster sugar

vanilla extract

2 eggs , plus 1 yolk

142ml pot soured cream

300g raspberries

icing sugar

Method:1) Heat the oven to 180C/fan 160C/gas 4. Crush 8 digestive biscuits in a food processor (or put in aplastic bag and bash with a rolling pin). Mix with 50g melted butter. Press into a 20cm springform tin andbake for 5 minutes, then cool.2) Beat 600g cream cheese with 2 tbsp flour, 175g caster sugar, a few drops of vanilla extract, 2 eggs, 1yolk and a 142ml pot of soured cream until light and fluffy. Stir in 150g raspberries and pour into the tin.Bake for 40 minutes and then check, it should be set but slightly wobbly in the centre. Leave in the tin tocool.3) Using the remaining 150g raspberries, keep a few for the top and put the rest in a pan with 1 tbspicing sugar. Heat until juicy and then squash with a fork. Push through a sieve. Serve the cheescakewith the raspberry sauce and raspberries.


58

TOTAL BUILD

Construction &

Developments

651 091 [email protected]

Love is a many-splendored thing … and a very surprising thing, too. As if youneeded proof of that, here are some funny little facts about love. Study them, scratchyour head over them, and share them with someone you fancy.

1. Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don't.2. People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left(65 percent of people go to the right!) 3. When it comes to doing the deed early in the relationship, 78 percent of womenwould decline an intimate rendezvous if they had not shaved their legs or underarms.4. Feminist women are more likely than other females to be in a romantic relationship. 5. Two-thirds of people report that they fall in love with someone they've known forsome time vs. someone that they just met. 6. There's a reason why office romances occur: The single biggest predictor of love isproximity.7. Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels ofnerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system andimproves the lover's memory.8. Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. You see the same physi-ological responses — pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate. 9. Brain scans show that people who view photos of a beloved experience an activationof the caudate — the part of the brain involving cravings. 10. The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.

Strange but true...


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60

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Gemini

Taurus

Aquarius you only have one transit this month with is the beatifying Venus this occurs from February8th to 17th. This is a nice influence, which makes you feel more loving and affectionate, and becauseyou are giving off such warm and friendly vibes it is more likely that you will attract love and specialattention. This magnetic affect also applies to other goodies such as gifts and even money. Socialisingand making new friends is favored, as is holidaying, parting, going to the movies and smooching. Thefull moon this month represents a new phase where you can set new goals for yourself relating tohabits or compulsions. You could also put this energy to good use by asking for favors or decoratingthe home. Spending money on nice things for friends, your home or on yourself would bringrewards. Have a makeover, a haircut, or buy some new clothes.

Pisces you should be looking forward to an extra special birthday this year because the new moon onFebruary 21st is in your sign. This new moon certainly puts the focus on your and your goals and plansfor the year ahead. You should be feeling more optimistic and confident this is a good time to makesome resolutions and put the wheels in motion. With Mercury also in your sign from February 14thto 19th you will be mentally alert and have extra talent for communication, ideas will flow and express-ing yourself generally will be a lot easier than of late. Lots of activity comes from this Mercury transit,a busy but rewarding time and ideal for meting old friends and breaking the ice with new contacts.Having both the Sun and Mercury together in your sign this month means you will be very centeredand focused on you, which is not a bad thing. This is the time to improve yourself and your life.

Aries, Venus is passing through your sign from February 8th to 17th. Venus themes of love, beauty,peace and creativity will be strong during these days. You will feel more loving and affectionate andwill attract more love and affection. An excellent time for spending quality time with friends, loversand for getting out and about having some fun, going to parties or seeking pleasurable or leisureactivities. Your self-esteem is boosted and the extra confidence and clarity of thought means you canwin people over, lead discussions, ask for favors, and improve all relationships. Meeting new peo-ple now is favored and new romances started during this time should be based on mutual love.Finance is also favored, spending money on yourself, beauty products and treatments. Time for lov-ing!

Gemini you may need to be more cautious with money for the first week of this month. Venus isin your sign from February 1st to 8th and can make you careless or over indulgent as far as moneyis concerned. Also apply moderation to alcohol, or even rich foods. You may be seeking more loveand affection this week, but it may not always be given. Things brighten up with two great transitsnow. Mercury from February 8th to 14th brings positive thinking and ease in communication. FromFebruary 9th to 19th, the Sun is also in your sign, which is most favorable for all areas of life. Thingswill simply flow much easier now, more harmony and balance inside is reflected in events and rela-tionships. Take advantage of the overlapping period of these two fortunate transits, from February9th to 14th. This is the ideal time to express your self who you are and where you are going.

Taurus, you have two very favorable transits this month. From February 14th to 19th, Mercury willstimulate the brain and bring increased communications and activity close to home. This busy timeis ideal to make progress by catching up on paperwork when you are alone, but you will find thatyou will be more involved with friends and neighbors, going out on errands and generally inter-acting with others more than usual. Catch up with friends, apply for a job or start blogging!February the 21st’s new moon will bring a more positive focus and turn communications moretoward personal advancement. You should feel a boost to the ego and the extra confidence andpride will allow you promote yourself and your plans. Work and relationships should flow moresmoothly and you should face less resistance to your plans than usual.

SSTTAARR SSIIGGNNSSA look at what's in store for you during February.....

Capricorn you have a very strong and high energy Mars transit as the major influence for the monthahead. From February 12th to March 13th, Mars boosts your confidence and sex appeal making itmuch easier to get ahead in life. You should feel more sexual and will be more attractive to others,which will fire up sexual relationships and attract new admirers. You can project you self boldly andforcefully without aggravating others, they should appreciate your directness and purpose as youknow what you want and are keen to achieve it. Sport, fighting, creativity and sex are favored. It isa good idea to use this extra energy to attain your desires now, especially from February 19th to 25th.At this time the high confidence and enthusiasm you are feeling is supported by a very sharp mindand communication skills. Take the initiative to get more out of life.


Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer you can look forward to a strong and sexy Mars transit from February 12th to March 13th. Thisis the strongest influence ahead this month Mars in your sign will give you a great boost in energy lev-els, self confidence and the ability to have your desires fulfilled. You will be more attractive and canexpect a higher sex drive, which you can enjoy with your partner, or use to your advantage if on theprowl. This is also a great time for pushing ahead professionally and winning in any area of life. Yourenthusiasm and positive energy makes this an ideal time to start new projects or work hard on achiev-ing your goals. You may receive assistance from others who appreciate your energy and positive atti-tude. Venus is in your sign from February 17th to 26th this means that relationships may get out ofhand this week you need to take care that Mars’s energy does not take situations out of control.

Leo you will have an easy time this month with only one transit from February 8th to 17th. This aspectfrom Venus should intensify feelings of love and harmony, making everything in your world seembeautiful. You feel beautiful and easy going, life flows smoothly with few cares or worries. Your lov-ing attitude means that people respond with kindness and affection and even interactions with boss-es and others at work go well. You have a calming influence on the people around you, which winsyou admiration and popularity. A very balanced time when you can enjoy work and play and getalong with everybody without even trying. The perfect time for socialising, ideal for parties or relax-ing, love relationship and money matters go well, and your appreciation of all things beautiful makebeing creative most worthwhile.

Virgo you will be fired up this month as Mars passes through your sign from February 12th to March13th. This is a very powerful transit, which only occurs every two years. It will give you a tremendousincrease in energy and ego, and an urge to get exactly want you want and to have your desires ful-filled. This is a hot, physical and aggressive transit. Sex, fighting and sport are all favored at this time.Your animal urges will be strong and others will be attracted to this sexy creative energy. Mars willmake you more courageous and bold, and this is OK as long as you take time to think about howyour actions and desires might affect the people you care about. This will be especially important fromFebruary 19th to 25th when Mercury is opposite Mars in the sky. Mercury rules your thinking andhow you communicate, Mars is aggression and passion. Think before you act!

Libra you start this month off with a very helpful Mercury sign from February 2nd to 8th. This givesbalance and clarity to your thoughts and communications, which should lead to good news, friend-ly chats and good conditions for doing business and making plans. You might even find yourself tak-ing a more active role in-group discussions or acting as a mediator. This will be felt more strongly, andapply more to personal relationships once the February 7th full moon kicks in. There should be lessopposition or hurdles during this time, which makes it perfect for getting ahead with goals. Work andhome life should prove no problem so take advantage of this positive full moon to relax, spend timewith friends and family, but more importantly you must pursue those personal goals, which will bringyou fulfillment.

Sagittarius you will have a clear transit from Venus between the 8th to 17th February. The trine fromthe planet of love and peace should bring more harmony to relationships and make you feel moreloving and beautiful. The warm and friendly energy you radiate can attract new love, affection, com-pliments, and even money. Creativity may be heightened but this can also be a lazy transit where youwould rather enjoy yourself than get motivated for work. The rest of the month looks to be a bit morestressful because both the new moon and Mercury make a challenging appearance from February 14thto 19th can cause increased nervous tension and difficulty focusing mentally. February 21st new mooncontinues the stressful conditions for the rest of the month. Arguments and temper tantrums are likelyeither from you, or directed at you. Avoid risk taking, fighting, and do not sign anything now.

Scorpio you may go through a testing time mid February but things do improve in the final week. Therough patch is due to both the Sun and Mercury making an appearance in your sign from February8th to 19th. The Sun rules your identity and ego; Mercury rules your mind and your communications.It may be more difficult for you to clearly express yourself, which can lead to frustration and even causedisagreements and misunderstandings. Other people may seem too bossy or get in your way, this isnot the best time to be forceful there will be too much opposition. Delay any important decisions orprojects for another week. From February 25th to March 2nd, Mercury will be a much more helpfulforce in your sign. Now your thinking is sharp and you can express yourself clearly. Any relationshipsproblems from earlier in the month can now be resolved though open and honest communications.


62

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OOUUTT OONN TTHHEE PPUUllll......??Here are some of the best ice-breakers:

A few effective techniques for chatting up an

attractive stranger…

The charmer: “IfIseeagirlIlikethelookofIfocusonthe

onethingIreallylikeaboutthewayshelooksandthenpayher

acompliment.Iknowitsoundssimpleandmaybeevenabitcheesy,

butitonlyworksifyou’vegenuinelystudiedherfaceandfoundanattributethatyoureally

like.You’vegottosayitlikeyoumeanit,notlikeit’sjustsomeline.Itcouldbesomething

obviouslikehereyesorlipsorsubtlelikeherdimpleswhenshesmiles.”

The advice seeker: “Asking for advice is the easiest way to start a conversation. For examplein a restaurant I’ll ask the cute woman at the next table what she’s having and if she’d recom-mend it and let the conversation flow from there. Simples.” The attention seeker: “When me and my mates are out at a bar and spot a table of fit guys

we usually get the waiter to send them over a round of drinks from us. When they come over

to thank us we invite them to join us.

Job done!”

The long distance flirt: “I’m a regular at my local pub quiz and have recently discoveredthat a bit of friendly heckling can work wonders with the opposite sex. It’s an idealway to flirt from a safe distance and instigate some cheeky banter. It also primes themnicely for when I wander over afterwards and offer to buy them a drink with my winnings - or insist they buy me one with theirs.” Continued on page 66...

Patio doors secured, Safes opened and fitted, Locks upgraded, Changed key holding.

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64

VIOLENT BURGLARIES & VIOLENT THEFT ARE INCREASING EVERYDAY ON THE COSTA DEL SOL - See page 9...

Foreigners are often victims of house break in's and

violent burglary, particularly holiday homeowners

within resort areas on the Costa del Sol where crime

rates have risen dramatically over the last few years.

Always ensure that your home is secure. The best way to do this is

with a monitored state of the art CCTV security system supplied by

Granville Security, the leading provider of security systems in the

Marbella area. With prices starting from just 1499 € you can't

afford not to protect your home,

family business and possessions.

Recent cases have shown it isn’t

unusual for homeowners to return

from abroad to find their homes ransacked.

Many develpments and urbanisations are

patrolled by security guards , although they

usually have littel influence on crime rates and

may instil a false sense of security.

Granville security can give you the peace of mind

you are looking for at an affordable price. Can you put a price on safety and securiy?

Call our local representative NOW on 697 707 898 or email [email protected]

WWhhaatt’’ssNewssc

an

me

to

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Win a Nostalgic Meal for Two at

DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND!!!We are repeating last month’s competition....

To celebrate the opening of The Retro in La Cala de Mijas we are giving away a nostalgic meal for two cooked especially by Chef Nigel Mellors.

All you have to do is tell us what your ideal meal for two people would be and if you are the lucky winner, Nigel will cook it for you.

For example, if you would enjoy a pineapple cheese ball, followed by Steak Fondue, finished with a lemon syllabub and complemented with a bottle of

Blue Nun all you need to do is let us know.

Send your suggestions by email to [email protected] along with your telephone number by the 23rd February 2012, and winner will be

chosen at random and notified by telephone by the 29th February 2012.

Please note, that the competition is not open to employees of The Costa Link Magazine or The Retro Restaurant and no cash equivalent is available. The winner will be notified by telephone by the 29th February 2012 and subsequently sent a voucher for the meal of their choice by email which can redeemed within a month.

The Courtesy of

Costa Link M a g a z i n e

al fal fal f

o a

osta Link

osta Link


66

spain.com

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OOUUTT OONN TTHHEE PPUUllll......??Continued from page 62 & 68...

We like people that are like ourselves. It’s known

as rapport, a mutual feeling of understanding

and trust. And the way you communicate is the key

to building rapport with someone of the other sex.

The fact is that men and women communicate in different ways.

Connecting to a Man - For a woman to connect well with a man, she should:

• Speak slower. Men speak in a slow and deliberate way. So try and

match his speed, pace and pitch.

•Talk facts not feelings. Present facts as the basis of a discussion or

argument, not your feelings, emotions or feminine intuition.

• Make direct statements and try not to be apologetic. Say things like

“we need to...” rather than “I was hoping that we can...”

• Talk about the things he’s interested in, not just what you and your girl

friends are in to. Men tend to talk about five things - sport, work, politics,

cars (and roads), and gadgets. And themselves!

• Mirror his posture without appearing to mimic him.

• Be clear about what you want and go for it.


68

OOUUTT OONN TTHHEE PPUUllll......??Continued from page 62 & 66...

Connecting to a Woman. For a man to connect

well with a woman, he should:

• Make lots of eye contact and smile. Watch her

mouth and then her eyes when she talks, look into her

eyes when you talk. But make sure that you don't stare.

• Try and talk a bit faster – appear excited and try to match her speed, pace

and tone.

• Talk about emotions and feelings, not just facts. Ask her opinion and say things

like “how do you feel about…”

• Use more adjectives. Show lots of emotion. Appear excited and use lots of hand

gestures when talking and facial gestures when listening.

• Use active listening techniques such as nodding your head, saying “yea”, etc.

Look confident by sitting upright and leaning slightly forward.

• Try and find a reason to touch her upper arm or back of her hand with your

fingertips.

Good luck out there it’s a minefield....

If you have any advice or fantastic chat up line’s please send them to:

[email protected]


teleweb – “Pay as you go” internetTeleweb Internet & Telephone, has been

providing wireless internet services since

2003, and in that time, has seen consistent

growth and added new exciting services to

its well established high speed 5GHz wire-

less internet service.

FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a

land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as

you go” system. There are flexible solutions

ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

tion for someone who lives

here full time.

Do you have a wireless

internet system that you

are not happy with?

Teleweb will convert you

over to their service at no

cost. What have you got to

lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!Teleweb offers a telephone

system (without the need

for a landline) with calls

from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a

Telefonica landline without the wires. No

need to have your computer on to make and

receive calls. Choose a telephone number

from your home country or just elect to have

a Malaga number. This system will work

anywhere in the world with the same low call

costs, you just need an internet connection.

For more information on any of the above,

please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or

Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

teleweb internet & telephone just got better!


Results of the Costa Link Bowling Match...At the recent Costa Link bowling match, two games

were played. Kev beat Stuart in both games, also

Richard beat John in both games. The winner in game

1 came second in game 2. Richard won game 2 and

John beat Stuart in game 1.

No player got the same

placing twice. Can you

determine who finished

where in each game?

70

Brain Teaser

Say What You See...

Across:

8 Canoe (4)

9 Submits (5)

10 Gremlins (4)

11 Missile (6)

12 Male chickens (8)

13 Hatred of women (8)

15 Hangman's knots (6)

17 Subjugate (7)

19 Got away (7)

22 Scholastic scores (6)

24 Occasionally (8)

26 The provision of things (8)

28 A frenzied woman (6)

30 Past tense of "To be" (4)

31 A group of south Pacific

islands (5)

32 Coagulate (4)

Puzzle It OutSolutionsSolutions

on page 80on page 80

Crossword

Down:

1 An African parrot (4)

2 Finance (8)

3 In large part (6)

4 Double crosses (7)

5 Amazes (8)

6 Restaurant (6)

7 Box (4)

14 Not outer (5)

16 Each and all (5)

18 Unusual largeness (8)

20 Group of spectators (8)

21 Regards highly (7)

23 Drenches (6)

25 Not a reptile (6)

27 Litigated (4)

29 Berserk (4)

Sudoku

ONCE10 : 15pm

i

PRIZE


A timeline for Spain'seconomic crisis

Ratings agency Standard & Poor downgraded the government debt of Spain in mid-January. The downgrades deal a blow to the eurozone's ability to fight off a worseningdebt crisis. In total, S&P cut its ratings on nine eurozone countries.The Spanish Government deficit was announced to be 8% at the end of 2011, whichway overshot the target of 6% promised by the Spanish stability programme. To meet Spain's austerity targets would cost every worker more than 2,000euros (1,600 pounds) this year.

Here is a timeline of how Spain reached its current predicament :2007: - Spain has a public account surplus of more than 2% of gross domestic product andthe economy grows by 3.5%, largely due to a construction boom. By 2008, the property bub-ble has burst, the surplus has become a deficit and growth has fallen to 0.9 percent.

Q3 2008: - Economy officially enters recession as a decade-long property and credit bubblebursts.

Early 2009: - Standard & Poor's is the first credit rating agency to downgrade Spain, cutting itstreasured AAA rating by one notch to AA+. The Bank of Spain bails out regional lender CajaCastilla-La Mancha, the country's first bank rescue in recent years. Over the next year, thenumber of savings banks, which lent heavily in the property boom, will be cut to 17 from 45.

Q1 2010: - Spain's unemployment rate tops 20 percent for the first time in nearly 13 years witha record 4.6 million people unemployed. Spain's economy emerges from an 18-month reces-sion as exports pick up.

May 2010: - After initially denying Spain was in trouble, Zapatero announces a slew of austeri-ty measures worth around 1.5 percent of GDP, including wage cuts for civil servants.

January 2011: - Spain passes pension reform that will gradually raise the retirement age to 67from a previous 65.

June 2011: - Zapatero decides to bring forward national elections to November, before hisfour-year time was due to expire in March 2012. On the same day, the International MonetaryFund (IMF) warns Spain's economy still faces "considerable risks."

Q3 2011: - Economic growth slumps to zero and most economistssee another recession on the horizon.

November 2011: - Mariano Rajoy's centre-right People'sParty wins an absolute majority. In his first comments sincehis election victory, Rajoy calls on all Spaniards to worktogether to overcome the debt crisis and promises a neweconomic policy.

Written by our financial expertJames Alexander.

If you would like fully regulated independentfinancial advice please contact us:

[email protected] or on 663 061 669.

FFIINNAANNCCIIAALLEconomic & Currency News...

72


opened as it ended for the euro, very much on the run. The latter part of 2011 saw investors in their droves move away fromthe euro and place their funds in safe haven currencies such asthe dollar and yen. “Yes” the old green back is back in favourand we will probably see the continued strength of the dollar

during early 2012. In the States confidence has returned to their economy with unemployment down, manufacturing looking better, banks lending and it seems property foreclosures falling to a 4 year low. I am almost green with envy as here inthe eurozone we are still feeling the impact from the problems in Greece and Italy inparticular, whilst here in Spain unfortunately as we know we have the highest unemployment rate within the eurozone. Whilst Greece are making the right noisesabout putting their house in order, the eurozone is not sure if it will provide the nexttranch of money to stop it defaulting. The powerhouses of the eurozone, Germany andFrance are still talking about the tax on Financial institution’s known as The Tobin Taxand see this as a method of increasing revenue in an attempt to balance the books butwith the economy shrinking across the eurozone and no real growth forecasted thenthe outlook is not as rosy as we would wish.

Going forward a lot will depend on the European Central Bank and how they continueto support the buying of government bonds which during early January helped keep theyield that Spain and Italy had to pay at a lower rate than the auctions of similar bondsin December 2011. We also know that both the ECB and the Bank of England heldinterest rates at their current levels although February could bring about another tranchof quantative easing in the UK. Stock markets themselves will continue to have thejitters as the euro crisis will continue to be the focus during early 2012 whilst stateside

the election campaign may just deflect the current dollar strength.

Whichever way you look at making your decision when to transfer funds will notbe easy so why not give our currency partner Moneycorp a call and have a chatwith their team of experts. They can be contacted on 951 319 700 and mention tothem Costalink Magazine: [email protected].

2012...


With the sad Demise of the Quirky Swedishcarmaker Saab, we thought we would look

back at some of their more“unusual” cars…

The 92 or Ursaab(meaning originalSaab) was soldabout 20,000between 1949 and

1945.

The Saabo Motor homesare almost forgotten

now, with only twosurviving in theworld, the 92H wasbuilt around thechassis of the origi-nal 92 and were built

using insulated CAR-BOARD!

Sonett was name given to the three sportscars, Only Six Sonett I’s were producedbetween 1955 and 1957, Less than 300Sonett II’s and 1610 Sonett II V4’s were pro-duced between 1966 and 1969. The Sonett IIIwas produced between 1970 and 1974 andsold almost 8500 units.

The 95 Was a Seven-seater estate car madefrom 1959 to 1958, variations included acommercial with no rear windows or seatsand an open pick up. Eric Carlsson finished4th in the 1961 Monte Carlo Rally in a 95.

The Saab 600 was basically a rebadgedLancia Delta; it was only sold in SwedenNorway and Finland between 1980 and 1982and had very few differences expect thebadges and an up rated heater!

74

SAABR.I.P


TIPS&TRICKSTIPIIPT ICRITRS&PS KCCKIRT&SP KSSK

76

Can you skim a stone across water? Most all of

us learnt to do this in our younger years and long

before we picked up our first driver and decided

to hit as far as it would go, the objective not to hit

the 250 marker but just to get the ball over the

back fence of the local driving range.

Skimming a stone requires control, if you release

the stone at the wrong angle it will disappear

with a splash below the water showing no sign of

bouncing on the surface. You must remember

that once you got that control and technique right

it was then time to see how many bounces you

could get before the stone would sink and more

power was needed. However, it soon became

obvious that throwing it as hard as you could with

your arm would not give the power required and

would loose the control you needed to keep the

angles correct. So with practice you learned to

transfer your weight to the back foot, coiling your

body as you did so and then starting from the hip

you would release the coil to establish power,

holding your hand with the stone just until the

right point where it could be released with maxi-

mum power and total control.

The golf swing requires that same level of control,

using your spine as an axel you transfer your

weight to the back foot coiling your body and lift-

ing your club into position with your arms. As

your body reaches the coiled and loaded point

you release starting from the hip returning the

club head back to its set position, to impact the

ball with maximum power and total control, the

momentum of club head speed you generate tak-

ing your body to its complete follow through posi-

tion.

You must use your coil and release for power and

your hands to control the club head. Practice this

using the accelerator drill on the practice

ground:-

1.Pick your target and set up to play a shot.

2.Swing to your back swing position

3.Release your coil starting slowly and then

accelerating through the ball (make sure your

release starts at the hip.)

4.Don’t let your head past the centre of your

stance before impact.

5.Check you finish with your weight on the for-

ward foot and your belt buckle facing the target.

Where Does the Power Come From?

Golfing About..... Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a€100 bet on the side. “But,” said the duffer, “since you're obviously much better than I, to even it upa bit you have to spot me two ‘gotchas.’” The golf pro didn't know what a ‘gotcha’ was, but he wentalong with it. And off they went. Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members wereamazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer €100. “What happened?” asked one of the members.“Well,” said the pro. “l was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, the jerkstuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my balls while yelling "’Gotcha!’ “Ouch!” said the guy“I can see why you lost that hole but how come you lost the game?” “Have you ever tried to play 18holes of golf waiting for the second ‘gotcha’?”


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wilight Buggy - 18.00€TTwilight Buggy - 18.00€wilight (from 13.00) - 36.00€TTwilight (from 13.00) - 36.00€

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lubes Golf CCall Sonia now on 952 93 40 95

All legal fees

lubCall Sonia now on 952 93 40 95

All legal fees

Immediate Membership

MirUrbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

es Golf Cafloraflores Golf CMirMiraflor

ebsite: wwwWEmail: [email protected]

el (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942TTel (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

lubes Golf C

.miraflores-golf.comebsite: wwwEmail: [email protected]

el (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

lub

.miraflores-golf.comEmail: [email protected]

el (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga


78

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PPuuzzzzlleeIItt OOuutt SSoolluuttiioonnssFFrroomm PPaaggeess 1166 && 7700

Just Say What You SeeOnce upon a time

I on the prize

Brain TeaserName Game 1 Game 2Kev 1 2Richard 2 1John 3 4Stuart 4 3

Trivia Quiz Answers1) Rudyard Kipling 2) Pauline Collins

3) Birds Eggs 4) Simon and Garfunkel5) 4: Alaska, Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas

6) Genghis Khan7) Roald Dahl 8) Reykjavik

9) Pet (using a pet passport) – he was a dog10) Mohammed Ali

11) Straits of Gibraltar12) 1971 13) Sir Alec Guinness

14) Ardent15) Flyer – first flew in 1903 and managed an altitude

of 3 metres16) Henley on Thames

17) Aberdeen 18) Dalmatian19) Mahogany 20) A Comedy of Errors

21) Captain Ahab22) International Date Line

23) Bear Market24) Hypnos

25) French 26) Shipping Forecast Areas27) Sir Stanley Matthews28) Cable News Network

Crossword Solution

ATTENTIONATTENTIONATTENTION

costa linkmagazine

will no longer accept advertising from the following

businesses or individuals:

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82

A famous art collector is walkingthrough the city when he notices a

mangy cat lapping milk from a saucerin the doorway of a shop and he does a

double take. He recognises that thesaucer is extremely old and very valu-

able, so he walks casually into the storeand offers to buy the cat for a couple

of quid. The storeowner replies “ I’ msorry, but the cat isn’ t for sale. The

collector says, “Please, I need a hungrycat around the house to catch mice. I’ llpay you twenty quid for that cat.” Andthe owner says “Sold,” and hands overthe cat. The collector continues, “Hey,

for the twenty quid I wonder if youcould throw in that old saucer. The

cat’ s used to it and it’ ll save me fromhaving to get a dish.” The owner says,

“Sorry mate, but that’ s my luckysaucer. So far this week I’ ve sold

sixty-eight cats.”

A guy walks into a post office oneday to see a middle-aged, balding man

standing at the countermethodically placing

‘Love’ stamps on brightpink envelopes with

hearts all over them.He then takes out aperfume bottle and

starts spraying scentall over them. His

curiosity getting thebetter of him, he goesup to the balding manand asks him what heis doing. The man says

“I'm sending out 1000 Valentine cardssigned, ‘Guess who?’” “But why?”asks the man. “I'm a divorcelawyer,” the man replies.

A middle-aged couple had two stunninglybeautiful teen-aged daughters. Theydecided to try one last time for the sonthey always wanted. After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and sureenough, nine months later delivered ahealthy baby boy. The joyful fatherrushed to the nursery to see his new son.He took one look and was horrified to seethe ugliest child he had ever seen. Hewent to his wife and said that there wasno way that he could be the father ofthat child. “Look at the two beautifuldaughters I fathered.” he said. He thengave her a stern look and asked, “Haveyou been fooling around on me?” Thewife smiled sweetly and said, “No, Notthis time”

TThheeJJookkeessppaaggee

Pictograms can be tricky!


Costa Link Magazine February 2012

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